Please don’t call it a farewell
This Week in Fake News: Bielema ends relationship with UW for younger, hotter school
+OPINION, page 7
+PAGE TWO University of Wisconsin-Madison
Complete campus coverage since 1892
Weekend, December 7-9, 2012
Out-of-state enrollment cap could increase By Cheyenne Langkamp The Daily Cardinal
A University of Wisconsin System Board of Regents committee unanimously approved an adjustment to UW-Madison policy Thursday which will allow an increase in enrollment of out-ofstate and international students. The Regents’ Education Committee members voted to amend the original proposal of increasing the enrollment cap to 30 percent, instead increasing it
to 27.5 percent from its current level at 25 percent. The proposal also requires an annual review of enrollment levels at UW-Madison. Regent Jeffrey Bartell spoke in favor of the increase, saying he believes in the importance of a diverse and international student body. “I firmly believe that a diverse student body benefits quite significantly in the learning process
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Logan’s owner says bar will not surrender liquor license By Abby Becker The Daily Cardinal
The owner of Logan’s Madtown Restaurant and Bar’s said Thursday he will not surrender the bar’s liquor license, forcing the city to move forward with a revocation process. Owner Joe Bendetti closed Logan’s Monday night before the city’s Alcohol License Review Committee held a hearing on the city’s charges against the bar for violating its liquor license in addition to a city alcohol ordinance.
“As of right now, we are closed, and we will not be surrendering our liquor license,” Bendetti said. An audit requested by the Madison Police Department showed that from May 2011 to May 2012, 67 percent of Logan’s revenue came from alcohol, while only 33 percent came from food and non-alcoholic beverages. Logan’s license and the Alcohol License Density Ordinance requires at least 50 percent of the
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grey satterfield/the daily cardinal
Developers presented a proposal at a neighborhood meeting Thursday, which would require demolishing Stadium Bar, 1419 Monroe St., to build a student-focused apartment complex.
Stadium Bar demolition proposal draws student, resident concerns By Ricardo Romero The Daily Cardinal
A development company’s proposal to tear down Stadium Bar for a student-focused apartment complex drew concerns from residents and city officials at a neighborhood meeting Thursday. The Minneapolis-based Opus Group plans to tear down the Stadium Bar, located at 1419 Monroe St., to build an eightstory apartment high-rise oriented toward students. The current plans, which are subject to change, call for 90 to 120 housing units with commercial space on the first floor. Stadium Bar co-owner Dan McCarty said after being approached by Opus he decided it was time to sell the property. “[Stadium Bar] had a good and successful run,” McCarty said. Students at the meeting
expressed concern that this student apartment complex could be unaffordable for many students. UW-Madison senior Indy Stluka said the lack of affordable student housing around campus “hurts working students the most.” But Opus Group representative Julie Ledger said as new complexes are built, older apartments would become cheaper. She also said lower-cost housing simply was not the developers’ goal with the proposal for Monroe Street. Community members and city officials at the meeting also raised a number of concerns about the project, including the increased residential population the complex would bring. University of WisconsinMadison Police Chief Susan Riseling said the proposed apartment complex is “a terrible idea”
because it does not conform to the neighborhood identity. “This block was really meant for commercial spaces, not residential,” Riseling said. “I think anything over four stories is an issue.” Madison resident and former District 5 alder Robbie Webber said she believes the increased number of residents the complex would bring to the area would benefit the neighborhood. “I actually believe in cities,” Webber said. “For this location, I don’t think eight-stories is out of whack.” Even with the concerns brought up by the community, Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8, said the project would most likely move forward. “This is an owner-to-owner transaction,” Resnick said. “There’s not much the city can do to stop it.”
Soglin, WISPIRG discuss student loan debt, ‘fiscal cliff’ By Melissa Howison The Daily Cardinal
That’s a bingo!
Students hope for five in a row at Bingo Night in the Memorial Union Thursday. + Photo by Xinyi Wang
Mayor Paul Soglin and a public interest research group held a press conference Thursday on the impending “fiscal cliff” and how tax policies affect student loan debt. New research from the Wisconsin Public Interest Research Group estimates that the federal government loses $150 billion a year in potential revenue due to corporations investing money in offshore bank accounts
to avoid U.S. tax rates. WISPIRG Program Director Joe Rasmussen said the practice is unethical and harmful. “When corporations exploit offshore tax loopholes to skip out of paying their bill the rest of us are left to pick up the tab,” Rasmussen said. “[It’s] perfectly legal, but it’s not fair, and it’s time to put an end to it.” Education is one of the public services that suffers, according to Soglin, and WISPIRG’s research reports the amount of revenue
lost in one year through tax evasion measures could provide pell grants worth four years of education to 10 million students. UW-Madison freshman and WISPIRG’s Board of Directors member Mariana Debernardini said it is unfair students are losing educational opportunities because federal funding cuts are making college more expensive. “Millions of students across the country depend on federal student
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“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”
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hi 46º / lo 28º
hi 39º / lo 28º
Weekend, December 7-9, 2012
hi 41º / lo 32º
An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 122, Issue 68
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Fiscal cliff to physically harm all By Yams McYummy M.D. Fake News Friday
Upon realizing that the Fiscal Cliff will put all Americans in imminent physical pain and danger come Dec. 31, 2012, federal cliff scientists began throwing items off the Fiscal Cliff Thursday to test items that could potentially protect Americans from harm’s way. The Fiscal Cliff, which stands 550 feet tall on the backside of Mount Rushmore in South Dakota and takes the form of the respective stone presidents’ backsides, poses a greater risk every day. According to a lesser known but equally terrifying ancient Mayan prophecy, it will cause all American citizens to experience hemorrhoids for roughly 48 hours beginning on Dec. 31. After days on the job, one group of scientists that call themselves the “Cliff Hangers” developed a promising way to avoid the collective pain the looming Fiscal Cliff will cause. But this strategy has been met with public outcry because it would involve throwing Betty White off the Fiscal Cliff to great depths below. “Unfortunately, there are just no other people that will do,” said Chief Cliff Hanger Clifford Baxter. “Betty White is the only person that could potentially save the entire American people from two days of extreme discomfort.” The opposing group of scientists, who were not creative enough to think of a quirky name for themselves, are supporting a plan to do nothing and let Americans “deal with it.” After nearly an hour of debate, the scientists concluded there was simply no correct answer upon which they could agree. Meanwhile, Betty White is forestalling any decision, enjoying the view with a warm compress upon Theodore Roosevelt’s mustache.
Student sees direct services in Medieval Warriorcraft League University of WisconsinMadison junior Randy Bieauxier said he thought that the Medieval Warriorcraft League provided a direct service to students. The League, a new student group organized by former Student Services Finance Committee Chair Matt Manes, aims to promote the understanding and practice of Hoplology, the study of human combative behavior and performance. Bieauxier said he was excited to take advantage of the Warrior Workshops the group will offer and is looking forward to using a quarterstaff for the first time. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to duel like a Templar Crusader,” Bieauxier said. “It’s something I thought should be a service offered to all students, everywhere. That and bus passes.”
Graphic By Dylan Moriarty
Bucky was not pleased when Bret Bielema decided to leave her for the razorback pig. Reports show that Bielema had been flirting with the pig for weeks. Bucky is not speaking to him, or accepting any apologies.
Bret Bielema leaves UW for younger school By Regina Phalange Fake News Friday
After a tumultuous seven -year relationship with the University of Wisconsin Badgers football team, former head coach Bret Bielema is leaving UW for the University of Arkansas Razorbacks. Bielema, whose Wikipedia page lists him as “current head coach of the University of Arkansas Razorbacks football team”—and we can’t say the speed of that relationship status doesn’t sting a bit—finally succumbed to Arkansas’ advances Tuesday morning after several weeks of discrete flirting and salary negotiations rife with unresolved sexual tension. “I should have known something like this would happen,” the University of Wisconsin said tearfully when approached for comment. “He always was a pig.” Bielema, who will now
adopt this role literally by coaching a team whose mascot is a razorback pig, was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous source close to Bielema revealed that he and the university of Arkansas are very happy together. “She’s way younger than UW, and way hotter,” the source was overheard saying drunkenly in a Minnesota bar Wednesday night. “Who can blame the guy?” While these allegations are true—Arkansas is a whopping 23 years younger than UW and has a quite warm humid subtropical climate—others do not predict smooth sailing for the newly public couple. “Look, Bret’s a good guy, but he’s not gonna be able to please a woman like that,” said Arkansas’ previous head coach John Smith, whose relationship with the team lasted merely one year. “Arkansas is a woman who
knows what she wants. She’s got needs, and just between you and me, it seems from those last two Rose Bowls that Bret has a bit of trouble finishing.” The University of Wisconsin is wasting no time getting back in the dating game. An online job listing for the head coach position has already been posted online. “There’s no shame in online dating,” UW said on her Facebook profile in response to ridicule over this development. “I have been used and abused, and I need to find someone who will treat me right and maybe coach us to some pass completions, if you know what I mean.” The University of Wisconsin’s sister the Green Bay Packers added in a comment, “You should have listened to me, sis. What did I tell you about guys named Brett? They’ll love you and leave you every time.”
With finals almost here, no one is getting laid at UW-Madison By Timothy McCorgi Fake News Friday
Twas the evenings before Finals, when all through the halls. Creatures were stirring, but no booty calls. The homeworks were done with speed without care, the presence of Finals loomed in the air. The students were crammed into cubbies in White; No one throughout campus was getting laid tonight. The girls in their pjs and guys in their sweats, yet not a student was going home yet. When down the corridor
arose a Badger in red. “F*** off Bucky” the students all said “We have calculus to study, biology, and english. We can’t dance with you now, we have homework to finish!” The sun was out shining, the weather was clear. Yet, sundress season was nowhere near. When what to their eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. Or at least they’d wish it, but nothing occurred. There was no cheer here, just halls full of nerds. Elsewhere in town bartend-
ers stood still, in front of empty rooms which were usually filled. Everclear and Smirnoff will stay shelved tonights, in hopes of better days and of better times. But for now we all hunker down in a studious fervor, attending to homework that seems to take forever. As the sun creeps o’er Mendota, the students all sigh. All throughout campus there were no victories tonight. But you can hear them exclaim as they stammer outside. “uhhh ughg ughghhhh ughgh uhhhh.”
Weekend, December 7-9, 2012 3
Campus hosts roundtable discussion on student loans
brett bachman/the daily cardinal
SSFC Rep. David Vines discusses cuts to weapons funding Thursday for the Medieval Warriorcraft League, a new campus group focused on teaching historical human combat techniques.
SSFC funds Medieval Warriorcraft League, GUTS The Student Services Finance Committee approved budgets for the Medieval Warriorcraft League and Greater University Tutoring Services Thursday after making adjustments to the groups’ initial proposals. The committee approved funding for Medieval Warriorcraft League at $95,177.24, after making moderate cuts to its proposed budget. The group originally requested $136,662.29 in its budget hearing Monday. SSFC members made significant cuts to the group’s weapons category. New weaponry and safety equipment accounted for more than 50 percent of the
group’s original request. SSFC Rep. David Vines also proposed adding several clauses to the budget due to University of Wisconsin Police Department weapons ban policies, which state an organization must request a waiver to use any item considered a weapon while on campus. According to SSFC Chair Ellie Bruecker, the MWL has not yet received a waiver. The clauses state if the group is not granted a waiver by March 13, 2013 several funding categories will not receive funding, including rent, equipment, advanced warrior train-
ing and two advanced warrior coordinator positions. “I think it would be fiscally responsible to make sure we only pay for this if they can use it,” Vines said. At the meeting, SSFC also approved funding for GUTS at $174,068.20, a decrease of approximately $900.00 from the group’s initial proposal. SSFC Rep. Sarah Neibart, who voted to approve the GUTS budget, said she was satisfied with the final composition of the group’s budget and felt it would allow the group to increase its services to students on campus. —Megan Stoebig
Cullen suggests changes to Wisconsin mining bill in letter State Sen. Tim Cullen, D-Janesville, proposed changes to Wisconsin’s mining laws in a letter to the Senate Select Committee on Mining Thursday, hoping to reach a bipartisan position on potential mining legislation. After months of meetings to revise details of mining legislation, the committee met Thursday to determine which provisions should be considered for the bill. Kelley Flury, legislative assis-
tant to Cullen, said in an email the proposal would bring more certainty to the mining permitting process. “The changes [are] necessary to streamline the permitting process and provide certainty to a mining company while also protecting the environment,” Cullen said in the letter sent to the committee. The new provisions, such as allowing the Department of National Resources to update
standards based on new technologies and practices, would alter the Republican-backed mining bill proposed last year, which failed to pass last session due to alleged weak environmental protections. The proposed changes include environmental considerations left out of the streamlining, which Republicans intend to reintroduce in the next legislative session.
regents from page 1
tees are currently seeking candidates to fill both of these positions. The salary range for the UW-Madison chancellor will change from $369,907-$452,109 to $427,500-$522,500 under the new policy. Regent Charles Pruitt said he supported the increase because chancellors play an increasingly important role as university campuses gain additional flexibility. Additionally, the Business, Finance and Audit Committee unanimously approved changes in Regent policy for the HR redesign, such as the creation of a formal governing body for current classified staff. After its release this September, the university’s shared governance groups reviewed and showed support for the proposed overhaul of UW-Madison’s personnel system following multiple campus
engagement forums. The full Board of Regents must also vote Friday for final approval of the salary increases and HR plan. UW-Madison Chancellor David Ward also presented the university’s strategy of using innovation and flexibility to move forward in the current climate of declining state support and revenue limitations for higher education. “I think leadership in higher education today is about sustaining the limited and variable resources that we have rather than ... waiting around for resources to come,” Ward said. “We have to be active stewards of what we have while still making the case for new resources.” Ward used the example of Educational Innovation, an ongoing initiative to update and many campus departments’ curriculum using new technologies and teaching strategies.
at the university,” Bartell said. “It prepares students both for their role in the job market and economy as well as their role as citizens in their community and world.” Bartell also cited the financial benefits of the change, as out-ofstate tuition is nearly double the rate than for Wisconsin residents. The cap will move to 27.5 percent for the 2013-’14 academic year, pending the full board’s approval Friday. The Regents’ Business, Finance and Audit Committee also passed a resolution to raise the salary of two UW System chancellors, as well as approving the controversial Human Resources redesign plan. The committee approved resolutions to raise the salary ranges of the UW-Madison and UW-Eau Claire chancellors. Search commit-
An official from a federal agency working with financial services participated in a campus roundtable discussion about strategies to reduce student loan debt Thursday. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau roundtable, which was hosted by the Associated Students of Madison, Wisconsin Public Interest Research Group and United Council of University of Wisconsin Students, discussed decreasing student debt by simplifying the loan process and improving students’ understanding of their finances. CFPB Student Loan Ombudsman Rohit Chopra, who is the highest-ranking official with a student-centered focus in the bureau, attended the event. Other participants included students, faculty, higher education advocate Rich Williams, state Rep. Chris Taylor, D-Madison, and state Rep. Brett Hulsey, D-Madison. During the discussion, Chopra
said the student loan process needs to be more clear because lenders often use tactics to deceive students into taking out loans. “It’s not enough just to arm people with knowledge and information about navigating all these complex products,” Chopra said. “You sometimes have to make the products simpler and easier to understand.” The discussion also focused on changing how society approaches financial matters. According to Chopra, many students are unwilling to seek out financial resources because they are overconfident about their money-management skills or ashamed of their financial hardships. WISPIRG representative Emily Ten Eyck agreed, saying it is important to normalize the discussion of finances among students. “If it’s a norm in the culture, then people will be much more open to talking about it,” Ten Eyck said. —Tamar Myers
isabel alvarez/cardinal file photo
Logan’s Madtown Restaurant and Bar, 322 W. Johnson St., closed indefinitely on Monday and will likely not give up its liquor license.
logan’s from page 1 bar’s profits to come from food and non-alcoholic beverages. While Bendetti acknowledged the bar did not meet the liquor license requirements, he said he “made every effort” to comply with the rules. “My crime was selling $360,000 worth of food,” Bendetti said. “How much food are they going to sell this year? Zero.” The city’s Food and Alcohol Policy Coordinator Mark Woulf said Bendetti has “not been cooperative” in the city’s audit and revocation process. The city has not heard from Bendetti since he applied for the original license in 2009, according to Woulf. Additionally, Bendetti did not appear for the revocation hearing Tuesday.
soglin from page 1 aid to keep college affordable and accessible,” Debernardini said. “Cuts … will risk programs that keep our higher education system strong.” Debernardini also said she is concerned about how federal spending cuts and higher taxes resulting from offshore bank accounts are affecting the job market for recent graduates. “The fact that all of these cuts could occur while offshore tax loopholes allow wealthy individu-
If Bendetti does not surrender the license, the city will revoke it within 15 days of the ALRC’s meeting Dec. 4, meaning the next tenant using the location at 322 W. Johnson St. will not be able to apply for a liquor license for a full calendar year, according to Woulf. “Certainly, from a city perspective, we would like to see something to go in [that location] in a sooner time,” Woulf said. Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, said it is not in the interest of the city to revoke the license because it “all but guarantees the building would remain vacant for a year” because of the one-year prohibition period. “I think revocation would be patently unfair to the owners’ prospective tenants and the greater community,” Verveer said. als and corporations to dodge $150 billion in spending is absolutely appalling,” Debernardini said. According to Soglin, the economy will not grow unless public dollars are collected and invested in education to allow graduates to enter the consumer market. “We now have a generation of university graduates overburdened by student loans,” Soglin said. “It is slowing down the recession, it is a burden on them, it’s a burden on the housing market, and it’s holding back the economy.”
The more you know... Kangaroos have three vaginas. Weekend, December 7-9, 2012 • 5
Studying this weekend
By Caitlin Kirihara firstname.lastname@example.org
© Puzzles by Pappocom
By Dylan Moriarty www.EatinCake.com
Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.
Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.
By Nick Kryshak email@example.com
Today’s Crossword Puzzle
This Week’s Requests Please draw your EIC wearing a leopard Snuggie dancing to Gangham Style. - Abigail M.
Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com
CROSSWORDS ON MY MIND
ACROSS 1 Group bent on a coup 6 Seeing through the deception of 10 Car wash cache 14 One kind of therapy 15 Change direction suddenly 16 What a surveyor finds 17 Get a bad situation under control 20 Attendance fig., often 21 ___ d’oeuvres 22 Almond willows 23 Highlander with land 25 Cabbage variety 26 Ollie’s sidekick 28 Blowhole? 32 Powerful couple in publishing, once 34 Sports squad 35 Mu ___ pork 38 Words of determination 42 “That ___ a close one!” 43 Array of options 44 Swashbuckler’s weapon 45 Historic stone
8 God of war 4 49 Fix, at the vet’s office 51 Pessimistic expectation 53 Brothers-in-arms 55 Trig ratio 56 TV network letters 59 Knuckle under 62 Hamburg’s river 63 Egg-shaped, e.g. 64 Swing bandleader Shaw 65 Colored, as Easter eggs 66 They’re never “civil” 67 ___ up (gets smart) DOWN 1 Sherlock’s undertaking 2 Bachelor of ___ 3 Some workers’ footwear securers 4 Electric guitar must 5 Indian police officer’s club 6 Go to extremes 7 Bills on birds 8 Abbr. on business cards 9 Common cookie 10 Kind of saw or tire 11 Israel’s Sharon 12 Jazz or opera, e.g. 13 Hangs heavy 18 Basketball game-
ending sound Mukluk wearers All over again Tap the brakes Salad type Drum major’s gait Afternoon social Bled in the wash Arctic dog Efficiency improvers 36 “Take this” 37 Asian legumes 39 Happy response to a marriage proposal 40 Atomic number of hydrogen 41 “___ the night before Christmas ...” 45 Complained bitterly 46 Twirls, as one’s hair 47 Highly rated 49 With cunning (Var.) 50 First-year cadet 52 Further shorten, as a piece of wood 53 Voiced approval, in a way 54 Put in a hold 55 Fight verbally 57 Camembert’s kin 58 Has dates with 60 Reproductive cells 61 ___ Lanka
1 9 24 26 27 29 30 31 33 35
An elephant and a bear in a forest waiting for a person, preferably a plump person, to walk into a booby-trap. - Gregory P. Draw me Something will return next semester! If you have any requests or ideas over break, email us in the Spring at firstname.lastname@example.org, and you’ll get to see your ideas in print!
Graphic by Angel Lee and Nick Kryshak
arts Ears full of Ear Wax Records 6
Weekend, December 7-9, 2012
By Mike Schuerman the daily cardinal
Hidden among well-known commercial businesses, the unimposing record store remains unnoticed by those walking down West Gilman Street in Madison. Its sign almost blends in with the monochrome gray building in which the store resides. Walking up the creaky staircase to the second floor makes it feel as though a dreary apartment living room probably lies behind the cracked wooden door. With much surprise, one is greeted with the sights and sounds that might be included in a typical nightmare. Posters hang from the walls displaying menacing demons while sludge metal music blares from the speakers. Yet, this is Robert Cleveland’s sanctuary. The sole proprietor of Ear Wax Records, the middle-aged bearded Cleveland exclusively outfits his store with metal and punk music and memorabilia ranging from rare vinyl discs to large and unique tapestries. Now entering its 15th year of operation, Ear Wax has slowly evolved into one of Madison’s most successful music suppliers. Growing up in Middleton, Cleveland as a youth can only be described as “alternative,” favoring activities such as skateboarding, BMX biking and comic book collecting throughout childhood and into high school. Yet, the music he was listening to at the time did not fit his lifestyle. With such high-adrenaline hobbies, Cleveland needed something edgier than what he describes as “boring” groups like Aerosmith or Rush. Thus began his obsession with punk and metal, genres that feature discordant sounds and guttural vocals. What started as the buying of a few records immediately turned into an intense collecting hobby of rare
CDs and vinyl. It even grew to the point at which Cleveland described it as “almost like a sickness.” His early beginnings with these records, however, would ultimately be crucial to his future. “Our thoughts were, ‘We like punk rock and this is going to be cool’ and that was it,” Cleveland said. Without a loan or even a plan, Cleveland and his former business partner set out to establish a record store catering to those who were attuned to the punk and metal scene. With very little money and only a six-month lease, the store’s future was not promising. After supplying underground discs from their own collection, however, Ear Wax’s popularity and business exploded. “We had so much money, we had no idea what to do with it,” Cleveland said. As business expanded, Ear Wax branched out to other locations, servicing the tight knit metal communities in Appleton and Milwaukee. The store’s initial success even spawned a record label, Barbarian Records, which has produced 16 records from bands in both Madison and Milwaukee; a success that Cleveland labeled as his greatest achievement for the store. Yet, it is the brilliance and intelligence metal provides, which he sees as pervading in metal, that keeps Cleveland focused on the ever-expanding genre. Having a great appreciation for the scene for the good majority of his life, Cleveland wants others to recognize metal as an art form rather than a purveyor of “satanic” imagery and harsh noises. The perception of himself and other punk/ metal fans, Cleveland believes, is unwarranted. “This is how I make my living,” Cleveland said. “To come in and criticize me would be foolish.”
Absolutely no shame With two weeks of the semester grind left, it’s time to let pretenses go and dredge up the cool-destroying music you secretly love to rock when no one is watching. Here are some of our writers’ favorite “guiltypleasure” jams. Have no shame, just press play.
1. “Pony” — Ginuwine 2. “Stranger Like Me”— Phil Collins 3. “Call Your Girlfriend” — Robyn 4. “Teenage Dirtbag” — Wheatus 5. “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”— The Darkness 6. “Hello” — Lionel Richie 7. “The Climb” — Miley Cyrus 8. “The Boys of Summer” — Don Henley
Don’t say pish posh to ‘Bish Bosch’ By Cameron Graff The daily cardinal
Bish Bosch Scott Walker Bish Bosch, as has now been clarified countless times in promotional media, isn’t quite as nonsensical a title as it might first appear. It seems playful at first glance; a childish euphemism, a demure statement of sloppiness out of apathy, a generally silly phrase. The alternate spelling of Bosch, however, recalls Hieronymus Bosch, classical master of all things bizarre, and Bish, well, it just means bitch. So Scott Walker’s massive 14th album is perhaps a slovenly, hastily assembled mess (it’s only been six years since The Drift, versus the 11 years between that and Tilt and another 11 between Tilt and Climate of Hunter), but it’s also, in the artist’s own words, a towering hodgepodge representation of the universal woman artist. That’s the thing about Walker’s latest work: It’s clever on the surface, but it’s absolutely brilliant underneath. While I may doubt Walker’s actual application of that title (the song is less about cosmic feminism and more about, well, literally everything else), Bosch is certainly an apt comparison for the singer’s latest work. Bish Bosch is a hideous construction that frequently flirts with profane beauty, much like Bosch’s most widely known work, “The Garden of Earthly Delights.” The first track, “‘See You Don’t Bump His Head,’” opens with pummeling percussion and chainsaw black-metal guitars as Walker croons, his voice as jazzy as ever, “While plucking feathers from a swan song/Spring might gently press its thumbs to your eyes.” Menace walks hand in hand with delicateness, and Walker seems to be acknowledging that Bish Bosch might be his own swan song, the
definitive statement of one of the most baffling and powerful careers in modern music. The work as a whole, after all, seems appropriately obsessed, in a Coetzee-esque sense, with the destruction of the body; “Corps de Blah” in particular focuses on the hideous nature of the human shape, discussing severed eyes and genitalia and at one point even featuring fart sounds, proving that Walker hasn’t lost any of his dark humor or his ability to push discomfort. He’s now into his 70s, though, and Bish Bosch as a whole reminds us that, perhaps, he won’t be there to upset us for all that much longer. If this is his last album, though, it’s an adequate swan song—not only the best album of the year, but perhaps his own masterpiece. At the core of the work is the daunting 20-minute “SDSS1416+13B (Zercon, a Flagpole Sitter),” a massive composition of unrestrained insanity. The piece opens with alternating mixes of wailed accusatory jabs (“This is my job,/I don’t come around and put out your red light/When you work,” ... “If shit were music, you’d be a brass band!” “Know what? You should get an agent/why sit in the dark handling yourself?”) and piercing silence, made all the more ominous by the poison jokes Walker spits. The piece’s title refers to three brown dwarves: two stars, the coolest of their sort ever discovered, and Zercon, the lisping fool with deformed feet who amused Attila the Hun’s horde endlessly by flaunting his own bodily malformations. It’s a brilliant mix of the terrible, the profound, and the hilarious. The cawing recitation of roman numerals (“V I VII IX I IX I,” with many localized variations) is the closest thing the album has to a hook, and Walker’s rasping insults, jokes hurled out for the amusement of the horde and of his own diminishing ‘60s fanbase, encourage equal parts laughter and uncomfortable squirming. “’You’re so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat people scream TAXI!’/or how about/‘You’re so boring you can’t even entertain
doubt!’” he howls halfway through the song, on the verge of imploding into his own insanity. Throbbing percussion and explosive guitars join the other otherworldly sounds swirling in the mix (the production is, as always, beyond incredible. Sharpening swords, howling hounds, marbles slipping down stairs—it’s all there), and the song becomes a universe itself, anchored by Walker’s bizarre hyper-intellectual lyrics and manic musicality. . Critical reception of the album has been decidedly mixed. Tiny Mix Tapes, an online purveyor of all things esoteric, lauded Bish Bosch as the most essential piece of art produced this year in a glowing 5-star critical essay. The Boston Phoenix, meanwhile, was quick to dismiss the album as “faux-artiste bullshit,” and something “other than music.” These two camps are sure to be the only two camps, as Bish Bosch is so divisive it might as well be dinner table political talk— with over 70 minutes of cacophonous, wordy, frequently melodyless noise pulsing through your brain it might be difficult to conceive of the album as anything but art for art’s sake. And yet, there’s something just so sinisterly intelligent about the whole mess. “Zercon” is so wrought with reference that even the generally hush-hush Walker provides a short afterwards in the lyric book to explain it. The brass fanfare and hisses of “Adepocere in a zoot/sloshing/karat/ballooning down the street” in “Epizootics!,” itself a pun on both a beatnik term for something hip and the name for a bizarre terminal disease popping up in a herd of animals, just feel so deliberate. Walker’s purpose may be ambiguous, even cruel, even mocking, but there’s intention there, there’s absurd and, as some have argued, sundowning genius on display. And no matter what your sensibilities or interests, it’s a work that by its very existence demands your attention. You might hate it, but at least you can tell all of your friends that you’ve survived Scott Walker’s most brilliant album.
opinion Saying farewell to farewell articles dailycardinal.com
nick Fritz opinion columnist
am not a very sensitive person, nor do I ever plan to be. I’m not the kind of person that cries during emotional movies and some may say I have a black hole where my heart should be. I simply respond by quoting the great Ron Swanson, “Crying is only okay in two places: funerals and the Grand Canyon;” both of which I have never experienced. So when I read farewell columns in newspapers, I cringe ever
Weekend, December 7-9, 2012
so slightly. To put it bluntly, farewell columns are stupid. They are truly a waste of space in newspapers meant to report the news or elicit intellectual conversations. The goal of this article is to lay out a farewell column and explain why they are so useless. So let’s break down exactly what makes a farewell column a farewell column. A farewell column is written by an editor who is leaving their position and moving on to something, hopefully, better. They usually start off with a list of happy memories they had while holding that desk position. Contrary to what many of you may think, I am a happy guy. So I am all for reliving those happy times in my life. But why in the world would anybody who picks up
a newspaper care about that? I’m sorry, but when I pick up a paper and turn to the arts page, for example, I intend to read a well-written article on arts, not on that time what’sher-name got drunk and puked on the editor in chief ’s desk (true story). I just don’t care. Your bowel movements are of no interest to me, however, the article on the up-and-coming band that you cut to satisfy your incessant need to be the center of attention could have been very enlightening. Another common element in all farewell columns is the inclusion of inside jokes. This could not bother me more than anything else. If you are going to tantalize me with a
hilarious joke, you better make sure I get it and it’s funny. Nothing is worse than a joke I don’t understand. I feel dumb for not getting it and I am deprived of the pleasure of a good laugh. So screw you. Lastly, comes the sappy conclusion to all farewell articles. The writer usually starts by saying something like, “I’ve had a great time in my position” or “I will miss all the great people I met along the way.” This is generally the point where the paper I am reading is being used as fuel for the trash can fire I just made. No shit, you had a good time and met great people. Half the job of being an editor is silently judging other people and planning elaborate theme parties. The other half is loudly judging
other people and drinking at the parties you just planned. The other week I read a farewell article that tried to hide behind a wall of sarcasm and humor. While I give the author props for realizing what she was writing was stupid and trying to hide it, we all know what it is. Join your egotistic, selfcentered friends at the center of the universe where you belong. I am a senior, leaving my editor position and you don’t see me writing a waste of space article on my feelings. And so, with that, my fellow Badgers and Cardinalistas, I say farewell. It’s been real. Please send all feedback to email@example.com.
Susan Rice has the right qualifications for secretary of state jacob riederer opinion columnist
urrent U. N . Ambassador, and possible secretary of state nominee Susan Rice, has come under fire recently from Senate Republicans who vow to block her nomination if she were to receive Presidents Barack Obama’s nomination as secretary of state. This is largely because of Rice’s role in relaying incorrect information of the Benghazi attacks. But while the Obama administration’s faulty handling of information in the Benghazi attacks does deserve some scrutiny, it is not fair for Republicans to deny Rice’s nomination solely because of this reason. In doing so, Republicans would be denying a qualified and experienced diplomat who is clearly the best candidate for secretary of state. It’s hard to dispute Rice’s experience in foreign affairs which began
in the early 1990s under the Clinton administration. Beginning in 1993, Rice served as a member of the National Security Council, director for International Organizations and later became senior director for African Affairs in 1995. During this time Rice offered significant support to efforts by a multinational army which invaded Zaire and removed the corrupt dictator, Mobutu Sese Seko. Rice was later appointed to assistant secretary of state for African Affairs in 1997. When Obama was elected to the presidency in 2008, he appointed Rice to her current position as U.N. ambassador. As an ambassador, Rice led the charge against former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi supporting a U.N. Security Council resolution to freeze Libyan government assets and military aid to the country. Working with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Rice overcame internal opposition and gained the Obama administrations’ support of a U.N. act to implement a no-fly policy over Libya and authorize other military force as needed. Ultimately, it was efforts like these which Rice championed that led to Gaddafi’s demise. Thus, it’s evident
that Rice’s role in liberating Libya as well as her prior experience under the Clinton administration makes her a qualified candidate to fulfill the position of secretary of state. But many Republicans including Sens. John McCain and Lindsey Graham argue that Rice’s involvement in the Benghazi incident make her unfit for the job. Specifically, Rice went on several talk shows and misinformed viewers, saying that what had transpired at the Bengahzai consulate was a spontaneous event and was in part a reaction to a controversial video. We now know that was not true and although Rice did relay faulty information, this error should be attributed to the State Department as a whole, not solely on Rice. I’ll admit that these inconsistencies in information do deserve some critique, but to say that Rice is not qualified to be secretary of state just because she passed along bad intelligence is completely ludicrous. Coincidentally, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice passed along bad intelligence to the American public almost a decade earlier by
Past Female Secretaries of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
Madeleine Albright claiming that Saddam Hussein did indeed have weapons of mass destruction. But when Condoleezza Rice came under fire when it was discovered that no weapons of this sort actually existed, Graham and McCain were quick to defend her with Graham even saying “to attack her personally is way over the line.” Even more ironically, like Condoleezza Rice, McCain and Graham themselves also made similar claims of weapons of mass destruction, meaning they themselves are guilty of passing along bad intelli-
gence. Therefore, McCain and Graham’s allegations that Susan Rice is not qualified for the position of secretary of state simply because she reported incorrect information are not only unfair but extremely hypocritical. Thus, I believe that Rice has proven herself to be a competent and effective leader in handling foreign affairs and should be granted approval by the Senate if in fact she is appointed to be the next secretary of state. Please send all feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Black stereotypes and racism at the heart of Jordan Davis murder michael Penn guest columnist
here is the echo of a snare drum rattling the speakers of someone in America that looks exactly like me. By looking like me, I mean a young Black man. There is a gas station somewhere in America that this someone will visit for fuel. Perhaps this someone has a friend or two with him. Perhaps the snare drum continues to roll as the vehicle is placed into park. Perhaps they all want some sort of snack to whet their appetites. Perhaps, here, the night hides light from us all. As the light is hidden from us all, darkness reigns supreme. There is a white man in this gas station as well. This white man may decide that this is neither the time nor the place for
anyone’s trunk to rattle at skyhigh decibels. This white man may decide that those black men are a threat to him, his sanity, his society. His society. He may decide to approach the black man. He may decide to tell him to turn it down. He may decide that he saw a gun in the car. He may murder a black man named Jordan Davis who died before he could live. The sound of music fades on cue with the last pattern of breath. People that look like me are being silenced, our voices deafened. The reasons are exponential, the validation unjustifiable. But the moment I found out that a young black man in Florida, age a mere year younger than myself, is no longer breathing because someone wanted him and his friends to turn the music down and fired upon a car of unarmed people… I felt like crumbling to pieces where I sat. Let me not forget to say “allegedly” … If I didn’t, there would be
hell to pay for obvious reasons. As I sifted through my initial shock, anger and disgust, I recall the simplicity of what triggered me: the music. The music running deep in the bloodlines of black youth has amassed millions with a power both subliminal and in the limelight. And on this night in Florida, as Trayvon Martin finishes his tea and Skittles in a heaven we have yet to discover, the music was a catalyst to someone dying. It began with a hoodie. It continued with voices from a speaker. What do these things have in common? Fear. Michael Dunn shot Jordan Davis down out of fear for his life, and this began with the music. In fact, no it did not. Whatever erupted from Davis’ car merely ignited the paranoia in Michael Dunn’s head that a young black man is threatening. Threatening enough to where something needed to be done, whether verbally or forcefully. The artists of racism have come
and gone, but the soundtrack never changes. I am a musician. The possibility that I may one day ride to a gas station with my father in the passenger seat and my learner’s permit in the glove compartment with the radio’s blare filling every crevice with sound and die is the paradox of it all. My black face peering out the window, my hand on the steering wheel as my dad buys me potato chips, and someone who does not look like me deciding this radio and I challenges everything he stands for. We are the menace he was warned about working in tandem polluting the world. Shots piercing the side of the burgundy car. My face across an AP newswire. As a society, murders over merchandise are nothing new under the sun. But this is not a shoe or a wallet or a coat or a cellular at hand. This is music we are talking about. Florida has given clearance to
a war zone. Michael Dunn wanted the signal to die. But for Davis’ sake, and the sake of everyone else, I shall echo the sentiment that so many others have pushed forth since the news broke through and broke more hearts. This transcends genre, this transcends agenda, and believe it or not, it transcends race. Be that as it may, do not forget race when it is the subject at hand. So many others already do that and will continue to their hearts’ content. I cannot do that here. Turn the music up. This is an SOS Turn the speakers until the frequencies scream the names of the dead. Let it play, and play with your emotions. Let the hateful beings of the world resign in their bitterness as you rejoice at the sound of whatever it is that you enjoy. In the words of Kendrick Lamar: “Ride to it, ride to it, ‘cause you never know… when a bullet might hit… and you die to it.” Please send all feedback to email@example.com.
Sports Alvarez to coach Badgers in Rose Bowl Weekend december 7-9, 2012 DailyCardinal.com
By Ryan Hill the daily cardinal
If it was not for a meeting put together by team captains following the news that former head coach Bret Bielema had bolted to Arkansas, Barry Alvarez would still be carrying out normal duties of Director of Athletics and searching for a new head football coach. Now, Alvarez’s next month will be even busier. Senior linebacker Mike Taylor and senior quarterback Curt Phillips took to contacting the Rose Bowl Hall of Famer and winner of three Rose Bowls in hopes of getting him on the sideline one last time. Apparently the meeting lacked any sort of opposition. “I think that was the first thought on everybody’s mind,” Taylor said. “It just seemed like the best idea.” “I just spoke from the heart to let him know that he was the best person to coach us in the Rose Bowl.” Alvarez admitted Bielema’s
grey satterfield/cardinal file photo
Alvarez will guide the Badgers back to the Rose Bowl, where he has won three previous times. departure was rather sudden and surprising—he was met with several missed calls after finishing breakfast in New York Tuesday morning—but gladly accepted the offer. “I told [Taylor] I would be honored to coach them, and I wanted
them to understand if I were going to coach, we weren’t going to screw around,” he said. “We were going to go out there to win.” Alvarez won the Rose Bowl in each of his three appearances—in 1994, 1999 and 2000. Alvarez also eliminated the
Lesser-known sports bring same challenges for student-athletes By Jaime Brackeen the daily cardinal
When I went out to get this story, I was hoping to uncover some kind of sports hierarchy, with football at the pinnacle and smaller sports like rowing and rugby forming the base of the pyramid, kind of like the sturdiest four cheerleaders of the squad— they perform just fine, but everyone knows the crowd’s eyes will be drawn to the top. I envisioned those professors with basketball season tickets being slightly less lenient with those missing lecture for a cross country meet. I saw headlines perhaps touting news of a pushed deadline for a hockey player, but not a member of the women’s soccer team. However, my journalistic dreams of full-on controversy were dashed after I spoke to three student athletes at the “base of the pyramid” and they informed me the athletic department at UW-Madison is ostensibly one big happy family. “It’s definitely easy for a sport like rowing that we have to get lost in football or basketball because those are the revenue sports and we have some great programs,” Monica Whitehouse, a junior and captain of the women’s open-weight rowing team said. “But the athletic department does a really great job of including all athletic teams.” “I’ve actually had professors that have been great, they really enjoy working with us,” Austin Cox, a senior on the men’s distance swim team said, further disprov-
ing my theory. (Well…shit.) Yet throughout this interviewing process, a different story began to take form. “Every once in a while I think it would be cool if we could do a swap for a day where somebody who wasn’t a student athlete who’s cynical about [them] and how they just slack off [in school] and all that stuff could try it,” Emma Allmann said, also a junior on the women’s open-weight rowing team. “Because it doesn’t feel like I’m slacking off. It feels like I’m trying really hard.” It’s doubtful anyone could justify calling Allmann’s schedule one of a slacker. In addition to approximately 20 hours a week of workouts, she also holds two jobs and still has to find time to do her homework. She is majoring in English. The other two student athletes echoed similar situations. Whitehouse does not work during school, but as a captain of the rowing team she also has to make workouts for captains’ practices twice a week in addition to doing officially sanctioned training and completing a major in Psychology. Cox is double majoring in Finance and Marketing, has swim practice about 25 hours a week and works at a Madison startup business, Swoop Search. “When people get to know how involved I am with swimming and these other activities they really get an appreciation of how much effort we have to put in as athletes,” Cox said. “[But,] for people who don’t really know athletes personally I think athletes get that stigma for
being able to just breeze through school without putting in too much effort into academics, which isn’t true.” Yes, student athletes do get tutors. And free printing. And their own academic advisors and a special study space under Camp Randall, but Allmann said all this is compulsory to do well in school while they represent our university on the field/water/rink/what have you. “I don’t think people really realize how necessary it is,” she said. “It’s hard to give 100 percent in school and give 100 percent to the sport as well. It’s a part-time job really.” And some aspects of school are also more difficult due to their athletic involvement. Whitehouse detailed a few occasions where she had to take an exam on a bus or plane because her professor wanted it done at the same time as those taking it in class. “[It’s] not ideal because, I mean, your teammates are rowdy,” she said. “I’d much rather be able to take my exams with the classes.” But she’s not complaining, and neither are the others. They’re just involved in what they love with a little more physical strain and perhaps a couple of bonus perks. “There are some athletes that may take advantage of the system,” Cox said in a moment of earnestness. “If you have an elective that’s not very important to you … you might elect to take an easy class. But who wouldn’t?” Probably true. In the end, we all share at least one title. Student.
Ball takes home the 2012 Doak Walker Award Running back Montee Ball spent Thursday night adding more hardware to his already-impressive collection. The senior was named the Doak Walker Award winner, given annually to college football’s most outstanding running back. Through 13 games this season, Ball has totaled 1730 yards (No.
3 in NCAA, 5.2 per carry) and 21 touchdowns. After a slow start to the year, Ball averaged 152.2 yards per game and scored 18 times in nine games against Big Ten opponents, including Saturday’s Big Ten Football Championship Game win over Nebraska. The Wentzville, Mo. native broke
Miami (Ohio) great Travis Prentice’s Football Bowl Subdivision record for all-time touchdowns in a career (78) Nov. 24. He topped Prentice’s all-time rushing touchdown record (73) Saturday and also tied an FBS record with the 25th multitouchdown game of his career. Parker Gabriel
possibility of having former Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst—who is in his first year as head coach at Pittsburgh— returning to lead the Badgers. It turns out that Alvarez used a couple “very good friends” to help Chryst land the Pitt job last winter.
“I wouldn’t feel right, and I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to hire him back after I asked someone to do me a favor and help him get that job,” Alvarez said. “So Paul’s going to stay at Pitt.” While Chryst won’t be taking the job, Alvarez said there was is indeed heavy interst in the positon. “There’s been a lot of interest shown in the position because it’s a great job,” he said. “It’s on solid footing, new facilities, and a very good nucleus coming back. But there’s been a lot of people that have contacted me with interest in it.” Taylor and Phillips said they already feel a difference surrounding the team now that Alvarez will be leading the way. “It kind of brings a new motivation, a new feeling in the locker room,” Taylor said. “I don’t think there could be any more motivation at this point,” Phillips said.
dylan moriarty/the daily cardinal
Wisconsin and Marquette to renew in-state rivalry By Vince Huth the daily cardinal
The Wisconsin men’s basketball team (6-3 overall) will play what is perhaps its most important non-conference game of the season when it travels to the Bradley Center Saturday to face in-state rival Marquette (5-2). Although Wisconsin will approach the game the same way it would any other, assistant coach Lamont Paris said the Badgers know the annual battle with the Golden Eagles will come with more hype than a typical nonconference match-up. “The fans aren’t going to act like it’s just another game,” Paris said. “Everyone surrounding the game is going to make it a bigger deal than what it is, and because of that, the atmosphere is going to be a little different.” The assistant coach noted former guard Jordan Taylor’s ability to “calm the seas” when things stalled or got out of control for the Badgers. “It seems like 1,000 games that [Taylor] played in,” Paris said. “We have a little bit less of that this season.” Compared to Taylor’s 136 career games, Wisconsin’s current backcourt came into this season with just over half as many combined appearances. Partly because of that inexperience, the coaching staff has emphasized the importance of simply getting better each day. “It’s something we are not just giving lip service to,” Paris said. “We’ve made a concerted
effort to just try to improve every single game.” Freshman forward Sam Dekker will get his first action in the in-state rivalry Saturday. Despite his youth, the Sheboygan native is plenty familiar with the two programs. “If you grew up in Wisconsin, you know about the rivalry,” Dekker said. “That’s something you look forward to coming here because no matter where it’s played, it’s gonna draw a big crowd.” Beyond their raucous crowd, the Golden Eagles are known for their hectic, up-tempo style of play. “They’re going to pressure us and they’re going to make it difficult for our wing entries,” Paris said. “They’re going to make it as tough as they can with their athleticism.” Sophomore forward Frank Kaminsky said Marquette does an especially good job of capitalizing on its opponents’ mistakes. The Lisle, Ill., native played an efficient 14 minutes Tuesday (4-of6 shooting, 11 points) after playing fewer than 10 minutes in each of Wisconsin’s previous four games. “I just gotta go out there and produce, give Jared a break here and there,” Kaminsky said. “It’s probably the biggest game in Wisconsin this year. Going in there and winning on their home court would be a great win for this program.” The two teams have split the last six meetings, with the road team winning four times. Marquette topped the Badgers 61-54 last season at the Kohl Center.
The Daily Cardinal - Weekend, December 5-7