Page 1


ASU bedevils Badgers

The first look into Heatwarmer’s debut album.

A rundown of the jawdropping final seconds of Saturday night’s game against Arizona State.

+SPORTS, page 8

+ARTS, page 4 University of Wisconsin-Madison

Complete campus coverage since 1892

‘Capitol Bucky’ responds Fake Bucky contests university’s claims “Capitol Bucky,” an individual who has appeared at the Capitol building alongside the protesting group the Solidarity Singers, contested the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s claim saying he was a “fake” Bucky in an email to The Daily Cardinal. “Capitol Bucky says that he is the real spirit of Wisconsin… All the other Buckys are imposters,” the individual said in the email. Cindy Van Matre, the trademark

licensing director for UW-Madison, said the university’s foremost issue with the Bucky imposter was that the university does not affiliate with any political side. “It looks like it’s the university that is supporting the cause, and we’re not taking a stance at all,” Van Matre said. In response to this comment, Capitol Bucky said in the email he stands with the “joy” of the people of the solidarity sing-along. “The real Bucky is the People’s Bucky,” the individual said. “The real Bucky stands with ordinary Wisconsin working folks, not with weasel politicians.”

Victim, witnesses wait to contact police, suspects flee crime scene By Melissa Howison the daily cardinal

Three men robbed a man at gunpoint on State Street during busy Friday night hours, but the police were unable to locate the suspects partly because neither the victim nor any witnesses reported the crime for several minutes, according to Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4. A Madison Police Department report said the 22-year-old male vic-

tim was walking on the 400 block of State Street at approximately 10:55 p.m. when three men approached him and demanded money. Verveer said a “shoving match ensued” when the victim refused, at which point one of the suspects displayed a handgun he was carrying. According to the police report, the suspects fled without any of the victim’s

robbery page 3


Monday, September 16, 2013


Wilcox manages online marketplace By Megan Stoebig the daily cardinal

Matthew Wilcox, a University of WisconsinMadison sophomore studying computer science, works for Wiscohub, a new company founded by UW-Madison students on the idea of building a single student-tostudent online alternative to websites such as Craigslist and Ticketmaster. Wiscohub was released this year as a tool for UW-Madison students to find and post a variety of listings in a centralized website. “We wanted one location you could go to for everything … one central Wiscohub where people do the bulk of their transactions,” Wilcox said. Wi l c ox became involved with the website after UW-Madison students Derrick Caschetta, Rajan Shah and Kevin Zhu reached out to him. The founders promoted Wilcox to be in charge of operations for the fall 2013 semester while they are off campus. Wilcox’s responsibilities include marketing for Wiscohub and making improvements to the website. Wilcox said it is both intimidating and exciting to be leading the Wiscohub

courtney kessler/the daily cardinal

UW sophomore Matthew Wilcox centralizes an online marketplace for UW students through Wiscohub. “battle” this semester as the main “captain” in charge. “Sometimes I’m not done with everything that’s on my plate until 9 or 10,” he said. “But for me it’s going to be worth it to see myself grow, to

develop myself professionally and as a person.” According to Wilcox, the website offers an added layer of security, as you need a university-

profile page 3

Bill protecting emergency ‘aiders’ moves forward


Bump it with a trumpet

Madison resident David Lynn Arjuna plays a sweet tune for passersby on State Street Sunday afternoon. + Photo by Grey Satterfield

A bill moved forward in the assembly Friday that aims to protect individuals from alcohol- or drugrelated consequences if they seek help in an emergency. The legislation shields “aiders” from certain criminal charges if they try to help someone who has overdosed or experienced a reaction to a controlled substance. In most cases, someone who takes an action such as calling emergency services is protected from prosecution for possessing or using these drugs. In addition, they generally have the right to remain anonymous and leave the scene

at any time. The bill was referred to an assembly committee and is also waiting for deliberation from a senate committee. The legislation is similar to a “responsible action” bill pushed forward by Associated Students of Madison Legislative Affairs Chair Morgan Rae, which is waiting on a decision from the state Assembly and Senate. In an emergency situation, Rae’s bill would make it illegal to issue an underage drinking citation to both the individual calling for assistance and the person in need of help.

Both parties would also be protected from most disciplinary actions from the Board of Regents and University of Wisconsin System school. Rae said she chose to include protection against the person in need of help because of a survey she sent out to the student body two years ago. In the survey, 40 percent of students said they would definitely call for help for a friend if they themselves were protected from consequences, Rae said. However, the number jumped to 89 percent if they knew the friend would also not face discipline. —Tamar Myers

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

page two 2


hi 66º / lo 43º

tuesday: t-storms

hi 72º / lo 61º

Monday, September 16, 2013

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 123, Issue 9

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

The Dirty Bird

News and Editorial Editor-in-Chief Abigail Becker

Managing Editor Mara Jezior

News Team News Manager Sam Cusick Campus Editor Megan Stoebig College Editor Tamar Myers City Editor Melissa Howison State Editor Jack Casey Enterprise Editor Meghan Chua Associate News Editor Sarah Olson Features Editor Shannon Kelly Opinion Editors Haleigh Amant • Nikki Stout Editorial Board Chair Anna Duffin Arts Editors Cameron Graff • Andy Holsteen Sports Editor Brett Bachman Page Two Editors Rachel Schulze • Alex Tucker Photo Editors Courtney Kessler • Jane Thompson Graphics Editor Haley Henschel Multimedia Editor Grey Satterfield Science Editor Nia Sathiamoorthi Life & Style Editor Elana Charles Special Pages Editor Samy Moskol Copy Chiefs Vince Huth • Maya Miller Kayla Schmidt • Rachel Wanat Social Media Manager Sam Garigliano Copy Editor Kerry Huth

Business and Advertising Business Manager Jacob Sattler Office Manager Emily Rosenbaum Advertising Managers Erin Aubrey • Dan Shanahan Account Executives Karli Bieniek • Lyndsay Bloomfield Tessa Coan • Zachary Hanlon Elissa Hersh • Will Huberty Ally Justinak • Paulina Kovalo Jordan Laeyendecker • Danny Mahlum Eric O’Neil • Ali Syverson Marketing Director Cooper Boland Design Manager Lauren Mather

The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@

Editorial Board Haleigh Amant • Abigail Becker Riley Beggin • Cheyenne Langkamp Anna Duffin • Mara Jezior Tyler Nickerson • Michael Penn Nikki Stout

Board of Directors Herman Baumann, President Abigail Becker • Mara Jezior Emily Rosenbaum • John Surdyk Erin Aubrey • Dan Shanahan Jacob Sattler • Janet Larson Don Miner • Chris Drosner Jason Stein • Nancy Sandy Tina Zavoral

© 2013, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation

For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an email to

sex and the student body

Does size matter? Ways to wield a wittle weenie

tODAY: sunny

Alex tucker sex columnist Dear Alex, The size of my penis is… below average. They say size doesn’t matter—it’s how you use it. Is there any truth to that? —Totally Inadequate Pecker?


ave no fear, TIP! There are lots of people who find themselves with peckers smaller than the “standard…” which is bullshit anyway. Who decided to measure and decide what “average length” was? Average cannot measure what makes a dick give or receive pleasure, or how well it can produce and distribute them semen. Average, my friends, is useless. People always say, “It’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean.” If we know our penis isn’t the “MONSTER COCK” advertised in our favorite pornos, we just have to learn how to use it to its full potential. Two of the most important things about having sex are rhythm and movement. If we’re able to move in such a way (hard, gentle, fast, slow, etc.) that gets our partner going, we’re doing something right. If we’re engaging in penetrative intercourse, we should think of the walls of the orifice we’re fucking as a reflection of the receptive partner’s legs. So when the bottom has their legs together, the walls of the anus or vagina become c l o s e r together too, providing a tighter but longer pathway for peen. If the catcher’s legs are far apart, the walls of the sex hole are wider but shallower, allowing for deep-feeling penetration with less length. This means positions like doggie-style are perfect for varying up the sensation any penis will provide. If the insertive partner’s legs are positioned around the outside of the receptive’s partners “closed” legs, the person will feel like a wider penis is fucking them. If we engage in dee-style with the bottom partner’s legs far apart with the top’s legs close together, the opposite sensation will ensue—the bottom will feel a deep penetration with less tightness against the orifice walls. Small penises are also eas-

ier to handle in the mouth department. Many people are intimidated by the thought of putting large dicks in their mouths, so being able to suck on a smaller one can make us feel more comfortable. Broad licks and strong suction can pack a much bigger punch on a smaller penis.

If we know our penis isn’t the “MONSTER COCK” advertised in our favorite porno, we just have to learn to use it to its full potential. If our little pecker is something we cannot use confidently, we should always remember we still have hands and a tongue. No matter what our partner’s genitalia look like, we can get them off with a well-timed finger or fist and a flitting, puckering or sucking mouth. And thank goodness for that. If what we’re naturally equipped with seems like it is just not enough, there’s an app for that! And by app I mean toy. Obviously. Sex toys called “Penis Extenders” are basically dildos that just slip over penises that allow the penis to fuck like it’s larger but still experience a similar sensation to bare-skin penetration. These dildos can also be used if we ejaculate or feel finished before our partner—just slap on one of these babies and we’ll be “hard” for hours! There are several surgeries available for graphic those looking by dylan moriarty to permanently alter their penis size. However, studies have shown the surgeries can create serious complications. Furthermore, the procedures often only extend the length of a flaccid penis and do not alter the size of a penis when erect. In fact, the surgeries can create “floppy dick syndrome” and often lead to an erect penis succumbing to gravity and needing to be held in order to stick up or out straight. It’s important to keep in mind that for some people, size does matter. It’s not particularly fair, but it isn’t exactly shallow either. An attraction to dick can be a part of a person’s sexuality, and some people may only be attracted to large- or mediumsized peckers.

We may like how the bigger cocks stimulate our G-spots or prostate, how the big ones feel in our mouths when we’re giving head or just like they way they look. That doesn’t make those people “bad” or “judgmental,” it just means they know what will ultimately get them off. The most important thing a person who has a smaller schlong can do is not feel ashamed about it. The things that make us self-conscious often make us less attractive to others—e.g. someone always talking about how fat they are or how poorly they always do on exams—and shrugging off whatever things might make us less confident can artificially and genuinely boost our self-esteems. Yay! Penises, in my opinion, should be a source of pride, the way any genitalia should. It’s physically what makes us sexual and what makes us sexy. Chin up, friend. The size of our penis doesn’t determine who will fall in love with us or how successful we’ll be in the future. Did any of the tips and techniques work for you? Got other juicy questions for the Dirty Bird? Send questions to Alex at

Schlong Statistics See below for the Bird’s inside look at how the latest dick data stacks up


The percent of women who think men overemphasize the importance of penis length, according to Psychology Today.

5.1 inches

The average size of an erect penis, according to International Journal of Impotence Research.


The percentage difference between men’s satisfaction with their penis size (55%) and women’s satisfaction with their partner’s penis size (85%) according to Psychology of Men & Masculinity.


The number of college-aged women at The University of Texas-Pan American who reported the width of a penis is more important than the length.


The percent of men who are born with the “micropenis” condition (2.7 inch penis and under).

today’s dirty Poll If you could change the size of your penis or the penis of your partner, would you? Respond by checking out the Bird’s article at Results to be published Sept. 23


Monday, September 16, 2013 3


Drunken driving legislation passes Stricter rules for drunken driving to go to state Assembly The state Assembly Committee on Judiciary passed a set of drunken driving bills Thursday that would impose stricter drunken driving sanctions in the state. The bills would require first-time drunken driving offenders to appear in court, change third and fourth drunken driving offenses from misdemeanors to felonies, impose mandatory sentences for drunken drivers who injure or kill someone, and allow courts to seize drunken drivers’ cars. Currently, people who commit their first drunken driving offense can opt to pay a fine to avoid a court appearance, but one of the new bills would require the court to issue an arrest warrant and a

$300 fine to anyone who fails to appear in court for his or her first offense. One of the bills would impose a 30-day minimum sentence for drunken drivers who injure someone, which state Sen. Jim Ott, R-Mequon, reduced from the six-month minimum sentence proposed originally. Another bill also set a 10-year minimum sentence for drunken drivers who kill someone. Currently, drunken drivers who kill someone are required to serve a portion of their sentence in prison, but there is generally not a minimum sentence. Ott said at the hearing he thinks the bills will have an impact on drunken driving, and he hopes to see a measurable decrease in drunken driving in coming years. “I hope we can come back a year to two down the road and look back at this and say what we did made a difference,” Ott said. The bills will move to the state Assembly for approval. —Sarah Olson

Dane County District Attorney Ismael Ozanne charged 22-year-old Solidarity Singer Damon Terrell with unlawful assembly and fined him $200.50 Friday, according to court records. Terrell received the same penalty as other protesters. Capitol police arrested Terrell Aug. 26 on felony charges of battery to a police officer for an “unidentified injury” to an “unidentified officer,” and kept him in the Dane County Jail for three days, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. The Solidarity Singers are a group of protesters that sing in the Capitol rotunda as a means of voicing their dissatisfaction with Gov. Scott Walker’s administration. Capitol police began arresting singers and spectators July 17 for unlawful assembly under new legislation that required any group of four or more people to obtain a permit to gather in the Capitol. Terrell’s arrest was captured on video, posted on YouTube and quickly became one of the most publicized interactions between Solidarity Singers and Capitol Police officers. Terrell is scheduled to appear in court Sept. 20. —Melissa Howison

profile from page 1

graphic by haley henschel

State holds public hearing on bill limiting public access to CCAP The state Assembly Committee on Judiciary held a public hearing Thursday regarding a new bill that would limit public access to the Consolidated Court Automation Programs. CCAP allows the public to search legal proceedings that have been filed in state court using party names, and then generates information regarding filed documents, decisions and final case outcomes. The proposed bill would

create two separate databases. One database would be available to the general public and contain limited information that only becomes available after a case has concluded. The other would resemble CCAP’s current form and would be available for professionals such as law enforcement, journalists and real estate owners. State Rep. Evan Goyke, D-Milwaukee, said the purpose of the bill is to allow peo-

DA lessens Damon Terrell’s charges

ple who have been wrongfully accused of crimes to remove their case from CCAP. He said the details of people’s cases are very personal, and it can be disconcerting to know anyone with Internet access can view their case online. Tracy Olkwitz, who was wrongfully accused of molesting two 7-year-old girls in 1993, said people see her case on CCAP but do not take note that the charges have been dismissed, and she can’t do any-

thing about it. “I’m the one who’s left to deal with this mess,” Olkwitz said. But Walworth County Clerk of Circuit Court Sheila Reiff, who also works on CCAP Steering Committee, said limiting CCAP access also limits victims’ access. “Victims always look at CCAP to see where their cases are,” Reiff said. “There’s a safety issue with CCAP.” —Sarah Olson

issued email address to add a posting. This security method also means students will not be forced to meet at off-campus locations to make transactions. Wilcox said the business has been doing well, as more students have been hearing about and using the website. “When we become something that students want to use and like to use, that’s what we think our success is driven by,” he said. He said the next step will be looking into partnering with public businesses that would be able to use the website for sponsored posts. For example, a local bar would be able to post drink specials and landlords would have the ability to post open housing units. “We just really want to help members of the Madison community who could benefit from this,” Wilcox said. He said Wiscohub also hopes to expand into other campuses that could likewise benefit from the same type of market.

State Sen. Erpenbach accuses Attorney General Van Hollen of partisan representation in case State Sen. Jon Erpenbach, rently in office. D-Middleton, said in a stateIf the motion is successment Thursday Attorney ful, legislators could not be General J.B. Van Hollen sued under the open records changed his stance on public law while they are in office. records to help a conservaIn the statement, tive senator who is facing an Erpenbach said Van Hollen’s open records lawsuit. efforts in the Vukmir case Two years ago, a conser- constitute “blatant partisan vative organization filed an and political actions.” open records lawsuit against “[Van Hollen’s actions] Erpenbach, according to the are an embarrassment to statement, and Van his office and to Hollen said Erpenbach the Department of should not fight the Justice,” Erpenbach lawsuit. said in the statement. Erpenbach hired In the statea private attorney to ment, Erpenbach represent him and said Vukmir is entiwon his open records tled to her defense case in circuit court against the lawsuit, in April. The case is ERPENBACH but he criticized now before the Court Van Hollen for failof Appeals. ing to honor his oath as a But Van Hollen filed “constitutional officer.” a motion on behalf of “What I find simply state Sen. Leah Vukmir, unbelievable is the partisan R-Wauwatosa, Wednesday level of representation by a saying she is immune to an constitutional officer sworn open records lawsuit, which to represent the Legislature the Center for Media and without prejudice,” he said Democracy filed against her in the statement. in June, because she is cur—Sarah Olson

grey satterfield/the daily cardinal

Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, said police would have had a better chance of arresting suspects in an armed robbery Friday on the 400 block of State Street if witnesses or the victim had called 911 earlier.

robbery from page 1 money. However, Verveer said the suspects stole the victim’s cell phone during the struggle. Neither the victim nor witnesses reported the incident until about five or 10 minutes after it happened, according to Verveer, who said the time lapse was one reason police were unsuccessful in arresting the suspects. Verveer said “unfortunately it’s not shocking to hear about a

mugging.” However, he said the crime was unusual because of the populous time and place and the weapon involved. “Certainly it was a very brazen crime occurring on a busy Friday night on State Street,” Verveer said. “I don’t quite understand why more witnesses didn’t see this occur and call the cops immediately or intervene.” According to Verveer, the robbery occurred in an area heavily monitored by city surveillance

cameras, so he said he is “hopeful” investigators will be able to identify and apprehend the suspects. Police described the attackers as three black males in their 20s. The suspect who displayed the weapon was shorter than the other two suspects who were described as approximately 6-feet-tall, both wearing black pants, one wearing a gray shirt and the other wearing a gray sweatshirt. The victim was not injured in the robbery, according to the report.

arts l


Monday, September 16, 2013

Graphic by Haley Henschel

Music Columnist

Today, yesterday: Cuban son at sea Sean Reichard “quip quo pro”


ept. 16, 1620: The Mayflower (yes, that Mayflower) sets sail from Plymouth, England, to make the tempestuous journey across the Atlantic to North America. Sept. 16, 1672: Anne Bradstreet, North America’s first published female poet/writer (and a successful one at that), dies at the age of 60. Her descendents include Herbert Hoover and John Kerry. Sept. 16, 1908: General Motors, one of the largest vehicle manufacturers in the world, is founded in Flint, Michigan. Sept. 16, 1966: the Metropolitan Opera House officially opens in New York City with a showing of Samuel Barber’s operatic adaptation

of “Antony and Cleopatra.” Sept. 16, 1997: The eponymous albums Buena Vista Social Club and Introducing… Ruben Gonzalez are released. I want you to take part in an exercise in imagination. You’re a passenger aboard the Mayflower. You don’t have the gift of prognostication, so you have no idea you’re going to end up hundreds of miles away from your intended docking point. You have no idea you might be one of the unfortunates who died that first winter in Plymouth harbor. On Sept. 16, departing England, you have no idea what the next 66 days are going to bring—as it turns out, storms and hardships and a baby who is christened Oceanus Hopkins and, later, on the shores of North America, a baby named Peregrine White. So the real question: Are you bored, my Mayflower child? Probably. Maybe some music would help. Perhaps the voyage would have been ameliorated had the

likes of Ruben Gonzalez or Ibrahim Ferrer been in their midst. Maybe they could have brought along the entire Social Club to play evenings and weekend afternoons. For anyone out of the loop, here’s another historical interpolation: The Buena Vista Social Club was a famous venue for Cuban son music up until the late fifties, when the Cuban Revolution and the rise in more pop oriented Cuban music shuttered the traditionalists out. A period passes. Ry Cooder, preeminent (according to Rolling Stone) guitarist and world traveler comes to Cuba and records Buena Vista Social Club with much of the old gang from the old son times. Success! Introducing… Ruben Gonzalez is the debut album by the eponymous pianist that, while it lacks most of the historic attraction of BVSC, is the better album of the two. I imagine most critics/fans like title track “Buena Vista Social Club” for its monolithic sound.

Some songs cut clean through the album’s turbid flow (“Chan Chan,” “Candela,” any song with a prominent Gonzalez piano line), but otherwise BVSC is content just to, well, flow. In my experience though, it’s hard to pick out gems or ore from such a languid current. Introducing…, on the other hand, cuts some of the big-band groove in favor of highlighting Gonzalez’s vivacious piano playing. The longest song, “Alemendra,” is the best. For nine and a half minutes, it’s just Gonzalez ripping it up on the piano, with some minimal backing as texture/grounding while Ruben soars up and down the keys. Introducing…, like BVSC, flows, but at a much faster pace most of the time, which is what endears it to me more. I would happily imagine Ruben Gonzalez rippling keys with the undulating ocean underneath his seat. Writing this, I found it surprising how these two things, among

others, could have happened on the same day, relatively. It’s reassuring, in a way, how so much happens that human history keeps transecting and intersecting like the minutest stitches of an infinite quilt. Though, I have a hard time imagining, had the threading years been pulled and the serendipity of Sept. 16th allowed the Mayflower to resound with the sounds of Cuban son music, which those hardscrabble sailors would have preferred. BVSC is the better contemplative album; Introducing… shakes off the barnacles of boredom better. Oh well. Other albums released this day: The Way I See It by Raphael Saadiq (2008), The Equinox by Organized Konfusion (1997), Worldwide Underground by Erykah Badu (2003). What music do you think they would have played on The Mayflower? Let Sean know at


Heatwarmer’s debut warms hearts

Heatwarmer Heatwarmer By Cheyenne Langkamp the daily cardinal

Heatwarmer, a relatively unknown group of five based out of Seattle, Wash., released their self-titled debut album earlier this month on Bandcamp, where it’s available to stream and purchase. With such a wide variety of sounds and lyrics on one album, it’s difficult to describe Heatwarmer in its entirety, but the group successfully presents a fantastical record refreshingly differ-

THE PLAYLIST School’s still in warmup mode; let’s get some “difficult” music to keep your brain working.


Kraftwerk— Autobahn

Let’s start slow. Real slow. As in, 20 minutes of droning, proto electropop slow.


Yoko Ono— Why

Yoko Ono is music’s most misunderstood diva, and “Why” is proof as such.


ent from the status quo. Although the standard bass, guitar and keyboard make constant appearances, symbols, trombone and oboe among other instruments also pop up sporadically. The sheer variety in the musical composition of each song is impressive and with so many different instruments at work, listeners of all types can find something they like here. The album sounds almost like a rock opera, or the soundtrack to a strange, cosmic sitcom. A groovy bassline infiltrates the majority of the tracks, lending a consistent sound to the album, but variations keep each song interesting enough to stand out. Many individual tracks have clear influences, like the snake charmer feel of “Good Stuff,” or circus tent vibes on “Magic Hearts.” Others such as “The Dybbuks” and “Riddles” take a more stripped

Scott Walker— Epizootics!

No, not that Scott Walker. The “single” from Bish Bosch, it’s typically surreal Walker brilliance.


down, acoustic approach. The band’s lyrics can get a bit silly at times but perhaps one of the messages of the album is music doesn’t need to be serious to be enjoyable. “Good Stuff ” and “Keep Shining Through” are two of the album’s most feel-good tunes and display the band’s catchy and simple writing style. It can be difficult to track down a truly well-rounded record. There always seems to be at least one song that’s a bit boring, but on Heatwarmer each track is oddly captivating. Despite being unfamiliar with this type of music, I found Heatwarmer to be a worthwhile venture in stepping a little farther outside of the mainstream to explore something new.

Clipping— Studio Freestyle 01 If Death Grips aren’t heavy enough for you there’s always Clipping’s rap/harsh noise assault.

Rating: B+


Shit and Shine— Dinner With My Girlfriend

It’s ugly weirdo music a la Butthole Surfers—but maybe some of you like that.


Oh, for the love of pizza. In 2001, a South African rugby player ordered a pizza to be delivered from Cape Town, South Africa to Sydney, Australia.

Chocolate-walnut cookies

Today’s Sudoku


Monday, September 16, 2013 ›,

Caved In

By Nick Kryshak

© Puzzles by Pappocom



2 5 8

1 8 9 8 9 1 8 6 2 7 3 5 3

6 3 4 8 9 7 8 3 9 1

First In Twenty Classic

By Angel Lee


Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Eatin’ Cake


By Dylan Moriarty

Today’s Crossword Puzzle


Answer key available at

DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT SPORTS ACROSS 1 Large number 5 Build up, as a fortune 10 They may be donned as disguises 14 Fit as a fiddle 15 Cuomo or Lanza 16 “Meet Me ___ Louis” 17 Bittersweet coating 18 “___ ears!” (“Do tell!”) 19 Time of reckoning 20 Messing up, but not much 23 Audiophiles’ purchases 24 Proprietor 27 “___ only money” 28 Radiance 31 Marie Saint of films 32 Common winter illness 34 Hardly ready for the world 35 Rep.’s counterpart 36 Eighties lightweight boxing champ, informally 40 Bit of work in physics class 41 Take place after 42 Stable particle? 43 Cooperation roadblock

44 They’re found in a yard 45 Moral slip 47 Donnybrook 49 Peddled better than 53 A couple of bears 57 Dad 59 Some racing vehicles 60 Site of the longest golf drive ever 61 “Et tu” day 62 Embankment down by the riverside 63 Distribute (with “out”) 64 Fence support 65 Put forth, as strength 66 Latin “to be” DOWN 1 Hoaxes 2 Unit equal to 200 milligrams 3 Similar 4 Confused state 5 Friends south of the border 6 ___ boy (timid man) 7 Middle East denizen 8 Airtight grain tower 9 Go it alone 10 Lehar’s was merry 11 Nation with nearly 23,000 miles of coastline 12 Fed. property

overseer 13 Piglet’s playground 21 The bottom line 22 Irish author Elizabeth 25 Track-meet segment 26 Sari-clad princess 28 Full range 29 Cement ingredient 30 Eggs, biologically 32 Smith’s workplace 33 The Golden Arches, for McDonald’s 34 Standout facial feature 36 They have a queen but no king 37 Opposite of clarify 38 Till bill 39 It requires a lot of simmering 45 Group in a group 46 Judge in the O. J. Simpson trial 48 Breakfast side 49 Less normal 50 Double-reed winds 51 Plunders 52 Gift recipient 54 Minute land mass 55 “Roots” author Haley 56 Glacial snow field 57 Domino’s spot 58 Bother, to the Bard

This week’s request: “Draw Harry Potter riding on a flying dolphin.” - Lisa K.

Submit your ideas to!

Yeah, we know it’s not Friday. We don’t care. We had such great request for last week’s Draw Me Something that we decided to give you an extra one! Enjoy! Graphic by Adrienne Wells

opinion Increasing minimum wage detrimental 6


Monday, September 16, 2013

How a mandated increase would hurt businesses Steven Nemcek opinion columnist


t seems to be a sick, dramatic irony that the protesting proponents for a higher minimum wage, or a “living wage” as the left has now incongruously deemed it, are acting in accordance with principles of ritualistic selfsacrifice. Minimum wage laws destroy low-skilled jobs and hurt the very economic class the “do-gooders” are trying to save. The very real efforts of these practitioners of selfimmolation give metaphorical credence to the eternal aphorism “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” While unfortunate, much of progressive history has been steeped with racist and sexist policy. From eugenics advocacy, racebased abortion advancement and defending Jim Crow laws, to special legislation purporting that women must work fewer hours because they were responsible for bearing future generations (and thus were collective property), wellmeaning progressives seem to be eternally on the wrong side of history. This time is no different. The persistent push for increasing minimum wage laws hurts low-skilled laborers who are more represented in the lower income brackets. This past summer, thousands of fast-food workers in multiple cities gathered outside of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King and other wellestablished chains asking for an increase in their wages from $7.25 to $15. Online video interviews with protesters show disgruntled employees who argue they cannot “get by” on minimum wage and they “deserve” more for their hard work. Unfortunately, the policy they are advocating would do much more harm than good. If an individual cannot get by on minimum wage, surely they cannot get by on no wage. If the minimum wage were raised to $15, millions of jobs

would be instantly destroyed. Let’s start by using McDonald’s as an example. McDonald’s has 1.7 million employees worldwide and had a net income of $5.465 billion in 2012. Let’s make the generous assumptions that every employee is making minimum wage and not more, that your average employee works only 40 weeks in a 52 week year and that your average employee works only 20 hours per week. To give each of those employees a $7.75 increase in hourly pay would cost McDonald/s an additional $10.54 billion per year, if everything else is held constant. You’ve now taken a profitable company and bankrupted it, leaving 1.7 million people not with $15 per hour in wages, but with no job. According to an article by Bernice Napach in The Daily Ticker, Kendall Fells, who is overseeing the New York City protests to raise minimum wage, the average demographic of a fast-food worker is a 28-yearold woman who has children, rent, and other expenses to pay for. Fells said, “There’s plenty of money to pay the workers who work there and new hires without firing anyone.” I personally can’t comprehend how Fells thinks this is mathematically possible, but perhaps I’m missing something. In modern academia, minimum-wage laws are seen as necessary to help the poor and unskilled. But the history of minimum-wage laws was not always so benign. Thomas Sowell, an economist at Stanford University, points out the first federal minimum-wage law was the Davis-Bacon Act of 1931 and was passed to prevent black construction workers from stealing jobs from white construction workers by working for lower wages. Sowell notes, “It was not meant to protect black workers from ‘exploitation’ but to protect white workers from competition.” Another example with a less malicious intent is the minimum-wage legislation targeting women in Washington, D.C. in the 1920s. In the case Adkins v. Children’s Hospital, Supreme Court Justice George Sutherland struck down the legislation, arguing it violated women’s right to work as much

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as they deemed necessary under the 14th Amendment. As Damon Root, writing for Reason magazine notes, “Historian Jim Powell observed this law had thrown numerous women out of work including elevator operator Willie Lyons, one of the figures in the case, who was promptly fired and replaced by a man willing to work at her old wage.” Time and time again, minimum-wage legislation has harmed those it aims to protect. The Cato Institute has cited data showing job losses in places where living wage laws have been imposed. This summer, Washington, D.C. City Council attempted to pass the “Large Retailer Accountability Act,” which would raise minimum wages for workers at large retailers like Wal-mart, Target and Wegmans from $8.25 per hour to $12.50. Regional Walmart manager Alex Barron wrote in an opinion piece to The Washington Post, “As a result [of the ‘Large Retailer and Accountability Act’], WalMart will not pursue stores at Skyland, Capitol Gateway or New York Avenue if the LRAA is passed. What’s more, passage would also jeopardize the three stores already under construction, as we would thoroughly review the financial and legal implications of the bill on those projects.” So, instead of creating hundreds of jobs in the Washington, D.C. area, none will be created. I would ask that anyone in support of this kind of econom-

ically illiterate and numerically impossible legislation go out into local communities and ask low-skilled or unemployed workers if they would rather have a minimum wage job at $8.25 per hour or no job at all. The secondary effects of minimum-wage laws are that those in lower economic classes never have the opportunity to rise up the ranks by learning valuable job skills. As Thomas Sowell notes, “People in minimum wage jobs do not stay at the minimum wage permanently. Their pay increases as they accumulate experience and develop skills. It increases an average of 30 percent in just their first year of employment, according to the Cato Institute study. Other studies show that low-income people become average people in a few years and high-income people late in life.” By disabling youth and lowskilled individuals from gaining employment in the first place, “do-gooders” bring the ability for those individuals to work their way up to a screeching halt. In terms of unemployment among youth, Sowell said, “If you go back, to say, the 1950s... you find that at that time the unemployment rate among black teenagers was a fraction of what it is today, and there certainly wasn’t any less racism then than there is today. What was different was at that time the minimum-wage law was a decade old, it was a decade of inflation, and the law hadn’t been changed. So for all practical purposes it didn’t exist.

The kid who is living where I lived then [1949], who is living there now… he has a Hell of a lot harder time finding that job because there are so many good people who try to do good for him and priced him right out of the market.” Now, this article by no means should be read as arguing businesses should not raise employee wages if they so wish. If a business makes a decision wherein the CEO should not earn a large salary, that it should not expand at the expense of worker wages and that shareholders should not be paid at a given dividend rate, thus instead using profits to raise workers’ wages, the business should do just that. There is nothing from stopping the thousands of protesters from founding their own fast-food chain and paying workers a higher wage. I think they will find it harder to accomplish than they believe. Given the above, I am entirely sympathetic to the arguments given by the protestors, but I firmly believe the policies they are advocating will disproportionately hurt young people and those individuals with only low-skilled labor to offer employers. Rather than achieving a living wage, what the protestors are really advocating for is no wage, for themselves and for those who will come after. How do you feel about a mandatory wage increase? Please send all feedback to opinion@


Keep video review away from baseball brett bachman ready, brett, go


ports can produce some strange situations. A lot of these situations arise from confusion over the rules of the game. Just look at the ending to Saturday’s football matchup between Wisconsin and Arizona State. Officials play a huge part in any sport. This is the case in baseball more so than other sports, mostly because every single pitch requires a call from the home plate umpire. In the words of Oakland Athletics’ GM Billy Beane, played by Brad Pitt in the 2011 blockbuster “Moneyball,” “It’s hard to not be romantic about baseball.” The thing is, it’s been around for a while. Over the years, few things have changed, and of those changes every single one is consciously allowed. There’s been ivy at Wrigley for 76 years. Fans have been singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” since 1908. Players wear rally caps, throw the ball around the horn after a strikeout and never, ever step on the foul line. That isn’t to say baseball doesn’t have its problems. Umpires play a bigger role in baseball than in most any other sport. In certain cases an umpire’s incompetence can cause absolute chaos. The merits of adding video review for umpires have been debated for years, and, ultimately, it hasn’t been implemented. Just like the electronic pitch spotter some television stations use, video review compromises the credibility of the officials in today’s modern game. Think about it. Baseball is a slow-developing game in which replay and other technologies could be implemented with few continuity problems. But they haven’t. The sheer number of reviewable calls in a baseball game is a definite deterrent, as well as the fact replay changes the fabric of the game completely. Technology has revolutionized every aspect of modern sport. Athletes can run faster and jump higher. Fans and scouts can watch multiple games at once and compute obscure statistics with relative ease. But the biggest revolution technology can bring about is in officiating. Final times can be measured with precision using motion sensors, slow-motion replays offer closer looks at the real-time action, and computers can locate the placement of a ball on a field with a level of astounding exactness. All these technologies are available to professional base-

controversy from page 8 Stave ended the day 15-of-30 for 187 yards and one touchdown. By comparison, ASU redshirt junior quarterback Taylor Kelly had 29 completions on 51 attempts for 352 yards and one touchdown. However tough the loss was, Andersen knows with the Big

ball, but the commissioner and those in charge have limited their use significantly, in stark contrast with other sports, like football, that have used technology to revolutionize the game. While it may seem like an extreme opinion, I believe this is a conscious decision to conserve a cardinal part of the game: the bad call. As a baseball fan, heckling the officials is woven into the fabric of the game more so than any other sport. With replay and pitch-spotting technology, the controversy ends and fans may lose a little interest without it.

“Umpires play a bigger role in baseball than in most any other sport. In certain cases an umpire’s incompetence can cause absolute chaos.” Bad calls come to a head when managers and players get into vehement arguments with umpires over the smallest perceived errors. Think Earl Weaver or Bobby Cox kicking dirt onto an umpire’s shoes. It makes for good television, like fighting in hockey or flopping in soccer. Television stations are also inadvertently changing the way the game is played. Stations that use pitch-spotters fail to note their strike zone as more of a guideline than a rule. It would be different if they spotted the pitches but never drew a strike zone over the plate. Subconsciously you must understand if we possess the technology to spot pitches with that accuracy, we don’t really need an umpire calling balls and strikes. It gives people the wrong impression about the place of human officials in today’s day and age. All players have drawn walks on pitches that were straight down the middle and struck out on pitches that were in different zip codes than the plate. I’ve never really seen the strike zone as a scientifically defined area. Each umpire’s zone is slightly different, and a large part of hitting and pitching is your team’s ability to map it immediately upon stepping up to the plate or onto the mound. Some people might not like that, but I’ve always seen America’s pastime as a human game fraught with human mistakes. It’s is the reason so many metaphors for life arise from the game of baseball. “It’s hard not to be romantic…” How do you feel about the pitch spotter? Do you love anything as much as Brett loves baseball? Let him know what you think by sending him an email at Ten season beginning next week, there is no time to dwell on the heartbreak. “It hurts, it’s a close game. The senior class will have a hard time absorbing that,” Andersen said. “We will get on the plane and take some deep breaths and get ready for the Big Ten. The key is to not let Arizona State beat you twice.”

Monday, September 16, 2013 7 l

Men’s Soccer

Unbeaten Badgers keep rolling with road victory over Florida Gulf Coast Conner nets two assists to lead Wisconsin By Jonah Beleckis the daily cardinal

The Wisconsin men’s soccer team (4-0-1 overall) spent the last few days in Florida, not for a sunny vacation, but for two tough wins with over four combined hours of rain and lightning delays. The Badgers bested Florida Gulf Coast (0-3-1) 2-1 Saturday to remain undefeated on the season. Wisconsin showed little rust after the delays, scoring two goals in the game’s first 20 minutes. In the 12th minute, senior forward Nick Janus scored for the second straight game when sophomore midfield-

inntowner from page 8 Wisconsin began to pull away. Following a kill by Thompson that gave Wisconsin an 8-6 lead, the Badgers tallied six of the next eight points to take a controlling 14-8 lead. The Badgers were able to hold onto this lead for the rest of the set to take the first game 25-20. The second set marked the tone for the rest of the game, as the Badgers went on to win in dominating fashion 25-15. Junior outside hitter Ellen Chapman led the way in the second set with four kills and a perfect 1.000 serving percentage. The Badgers rallied for six straight points during Chapman’s

er Drew Conner crossed the FGCU and was headed home ball in from a corner kick and by DeSousa. Redshirt freshman goalkeepJanus flicked the ball into the er Casey Beyers had his best staFGCU net. Less than seven minutes tistical game of the young sealater, Conner notched his sec- son, keeping the Eagles at bay and tallying a careerond assist of the game high seven saves. from another corner Each team was kick; this time it was a given three yellow back post finish by junior cards during the game. defender AJ Cochran. Next for the Badgers This was the third is a pair of neutralcareer goal for Cochran, site games in Chicago, who was voted to the prewhere they will play season All-American CONNER Indiana Universityteam this year. The Eagles came out Purdue University in the second half firing on all Fort Wayne and Gonzaga on cylinders, recording 11 shots in Sept. 20 and 22, respectively. the final 45 minutes. However, Wisconsin will not play all they had to show for it was at home in the McClimon an 88th minute goal by sopho- Complex until Oct. 2 when they more forward Felipe DeSousa. host in-state rival Marquette. The ball came in from yet The Golden Eagles beat the another corner kick, but this Badgers last season 2-1 (2OT) time it bounced off the bar for Sept. 26 at Marquette. serve to take a dominating 22-12 lead over Bowling Green.

“We’re becoming a blue collar, grind-it-out team, because we are forced to.” Kelly Sheffield head coach volleyball

“After the first game we had a lot of confidence that we were going to beat them in three,” Thomas said. “We just said it’s all or nothing and we are going to get out of there in three.”

The third set was more tightly contested than the other two, but the Badgers were able to successfully make the final push. Leading 19-18 in the third set, UW pulled away and registered six of the last eight points to go on to win the third and final set 25-20. Both Chapman and junior outside hitter and defensive specialist Deme Morales, stepping in for Hickey, received All-Tournament honors. “You see the performances like Ellen kind of growing in front of our eyes,” Sheffield said. “You’re seeing Deme Morales having such a monster weekend and filling a role she hasn’t even practiced.”


Monday september 16, 2013



Wisconsin bounces back to finish second at InnTowner By Samuel Karp the daily cardinal

The Badger volleyball squad was able to overcome the injury bug in high fashion to finish second in the InnTowner Invitational at the UW Field House this weekend. Despite its missing players, Wisconsin (10-1) rounded out the invitational Saturday night with a dominating 3-0 victory over Bowling Green (1-5). The team played without senior defensive specialist and libero Annemarie Hickey, and wasn’t sure it was going to be able to count on the services of junior outside hitter Courtney Thomas or redshirt junior middle blocker Dominique Thompson. Both Thomas and Thompson ulti-

mately pushed through their injuries and helped lead the team to victory. Thomas, inhibited by a strained abdomen, was clearly in pain throughout the match and was visibly wincing after UW’s victory. “We’re becoming a blue collar, grindit-out team, because we are forced to,” first-year head coach Kelly Sheffield said. “There is no other way. We’ve got bodies of 90-year-olds. My grandma… I think she turns 98 today and I think her body is better than most of our team.” UW didn’t take these injuries as an excuse to keel over and give up. After trading points to begin the first set

inntowner page 7

grey satterfield/cardinal file photo

Redshirt sophomore running back Melvin Gordon rushed for two touchdowns Saturday in Tempe, Ariz., including an 80-yard scamper to start the second half.

Out of time Wisconsin fails to attempt potential game-winning field goal following controversial final 15 seconds By Cameron Kalmon the daily cardinal

In football, players are taught to play until the final whistle. For the Badgers Saturday, that whistle would ultimately come with 15 seconds left on the clock. In a controversial loss, Wisconsin stayed alive late into the fourth quarter with a successful fake punt and a Melvin Gordon touchdown, but the Badgers still trailed after a failed twopoint conversion attempt. It was 32-30 with 3:53 left in the game when Wisconsin managed to stop the Sun Devils and take one last shot at scoring. As the Badgers marched their way into Arizona State’s red zone, the clock was ticking away on victory. Redshirt sophomore quarterback Joel Stave made an attempt to stop the clock with 15 seconds left and give the Badgers an opportunity at a field goal, but he caused some confusion when he set the ball down while taking a knee. The referees would fail to re-set the ball and UW never got its last play. “It is a shame that it went down that way,” head coach Gary Andersen said. “If there is 18 seconds left we teach the kids to spike it, and of course he slipped but that is what we practice.” The shocking conclusion to the game left UW fans confused and the Badgers (2-1) with their first loss of the season. Early in the game Wisconsin was having difficulty picking up yards on offense, with three yards on six carries in the first quarter before a successful scoring drive. Stave connected with redshirt senior tight end Jacob Pedersen for the first touchdown of the game with 13:47 left in the first half. Shortly afterward, Wisconsin stopped the Sun Devils and senior nose guard Beau Allen recovered

a botched ASU snap in the end zone for Wisconsin’s second touchdown. Arizona State senior running back Marion Grice answered back for the Sun Devils’ first touchdown of the game. Grice went on to end the day with four touchdowns on 22 carries for 84 yards. Redshirt sophomore running back Melvin Gordon picked up 193 yards off 15 carries with two touchdowns for the Badgers. His highlight of the night was an 80-yard touchdown run on the first play of the second half. It was a close contest right down to the end, and Andersen said Wisconsin missed some opportunities that could have secured the lead early in the second half. “I told the kids at the beginning of the year the difference between a good team and a bad team is 10 plays, and we missed one of those opportunities in the game today,” Andersen said. “But it wasn’t just the last three plays, there were a lot of opportunities where somebody makes a play and some where somebody doesn’t make a play.” The young secondary for the Badgers allowed Arizona State to score with the assistance of a couple first down pass interference calls on both redshirt sophomore cornerback Darius Hillary and freshman cornerback Sojourn Shelton. Wisconsin was penalized six times for 76 yards, its highest total of the season. The Badgers’ offensive line had a more difficult time protecting Stave than in the previous two games. Early in the game Stave was sacked for a loss, bringing up a thirdand-long situation. Later on, the signal caller was shaken up by a blow but was able to remain on the field.

controversy page 7

shoaib altaf/cardinal file photo

Junior setter and outside hitter Courtney Thomas led Wisconsin with 13 kills in a win over Bowling Green Saturday at the UW Field House.

The Daily Cardinal - Monday, September 16, 2013  

The Daily Cardinal - Monday, September 16, 2013

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