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Wednesday Morning Hangover The Sandlot, bikers and Elton John


promising movie, even better book +ARTS, page 4

+PAGE TWO University of Wisconsin-Madison

Complete campus coverage since 1892


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Housing bill sparks tenant rights talks By Jack Casey The Daily Cardinal

A Republican-sponsored bill designed to standardize statewide housing regulations, including tenant-landlord relations, drew criticism from Madison city officials and University of Wisconsin-Madison students after it was introduced to the state Assembly Tuesday. The bill, which contains 10 tenant-landlord provisions, would give landlords more

flexibility in how they communicate with their tenants. Under the new bill, landlords would no longer be required to notify tenants of housing code violations unless a local housing code enforcement agency documented the violations. Additionally, landlords would no longer be required to provide tenants with a checklist outlining the property’s condition. Instead, tenants

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City approves faith-based housing An historic Catholic school will reopen as faith-based housing for University of Wisconsin-Madison students August 15 following a slim vote of approval by the city Council Tuesday, despite ongoing concerns about the future tax exemptions for the building owners. The Holy Redeemer Catholic school building, located at 120 W. Johnson St., will be transformed over the summer into the Lumin House, a 60-person-capacity residence, which will be exempt from property taxes due to its state classification as a religious building. Mayor Paul Soglin called this measure in the legislature “atrocious.”

“If I was the owner of a piece of property that was eligible to construct student housing and get this tax exemption, I would be ashamed to come in and utilize that opportunity,” Soglin said. “It is not fair to other students, it is not fair to other renters and it is not fair to anyone who in some way is contributing to the services the city provides.” Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, said he has “mixed emotions” about the outcome. Verveer said he is excited the proposal meets a demand from St. Paul’s student members for Catholic housing while preserving the building’s historic exterior. However, he said his enthusiasm is “tempered” by the exclusionary and non-communicative approach Holy Redeemer leaders took with their parishioners throughout the process. “I’ve participated in many neighborhood meetings over the years and this is certainly one of the most painful that I’ve participated in,” Verveer said. According to Verveer, although the Lumin House is a designated faithbased living community, state nondiscriminatory laws will prohibit Holy Redeemer from turning away tenants Grey satterfield/the daily cardinal who do not practice Mayor Paul Soglin says property tax exemptions for Catholicism. religious housing are unfair to tax-paying tenants. —Melissa Howison

Madison transit could see make-over Madison’s Transportation and Planning Board’s preliminary study into the city’s potential for supporting a Bus Rapid Transit system discovered a network of corridors in the city where implementation would be feasible. BRT is a high-capacity, limited stop urban transportation system. Board staff will have to analyze BRT’s traffic impacts and benefits before moving forward with the project.

The report shows BRT, which would incur $9.8 million annually in operational costs, would reduce public transit traveling time up to 30 percent and stimulate the local economy by connecting the metropolitan residents to the downtown area. The city’s next steps will be to explore federal, regional and local funding options as well as ways to increase community engagement in the planning processes.

on campus

You got served

Twins Lean and Mara Redding play a rousing game of volleyball outside Sellery Hall Tuesday afternoon. + Photo by Alivia Richter

New student-run mental health office to open in fall The Associated Students of Madison Reserve Board approved over $50,000 in funding for a new student-run mental health office to be constructed in the Student Activity Center, according to a press release Tuesday. ASM’s Student Activity Center Governing Board Chair Katie Cary requested ASM build the mental health office to allow student mental health groups to provide peer-to-peer advising services, according to the press release. “There is an incredible demand for mental health services on this campus, and students could benefit from having a stable place to seek out student-provided support,” Cary said. Cary said $52,670 in student segregated fees will go toward the facility’s construction, which would be completed in fall 2013, but additional future student funding will not be needed for the facility’s operation.

According to Cary, the office’s peerto-peer advising will differentiate it from counseling services offered by University Health Services, which focus on professional counseling. Cary said many students would feel more comfortable talking to a peer than a clinical professional. Cary also said UHS is understaffed, and some students have had to wait up to six weeks for a mental health appointment, which is problematic for students who are experiencing a crisis. According to Cary, putting a mental health facility in the Student Activity Center will also promote the visibility of mental health on campus. “By putting this office in a very visible space, we send the message that mental health is not something to be hushed, ignored or looked down upon,” Cary said in the release. —Sarah Olson

Underage patron bill passes state committee A state Assembly committee unanimously approved a bill Tuesday that would allow bars and alcohol retailers to sue underage patrons in possession of fake IDs. The bill, first introduced by state Rep. André Jacque, R-De Pere, received a 9-0 vote in the bipartisan Assembly Committee on State Affairs and will now move to the state Assembly for consideration. Under the bill, licensed alcohol retailers could file a civil lawsuit with a possible fine of up to $1000 against underage drinkers caught with fake IDs. A bipartisan amendment to the bill revoked the additional penalty requiring violators to pay for any attorney’s fees charged to the establishment during lawsuit proceedings. Jacque said he intends the bill—which mirrors similar legislation adopted by other states, such as Alaska—to improve

the “culture of alcohol use and abuse” among young drinkers. “Clearly there are both aspects of public health and public safety that we need to look at and find the best practices to address,” Jacque said. The proposed bill has gained bipartisan support from state representatives and health-advocacy groups, but opponents said the baseline penalty should be lower than $1000. Additionally, some critics said they believe the threat of a lawsuit will not deter underage drinkers from using fraudulent identification. Jacque said though he understands the concern over stricter sanctions, he believes the legislation is necessary to maintain state citizens’ safety. “This [bill] is something that I’ve

bars page 3

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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thursday: rainy

hi 77º / lo 46º

hi 54º / lo 37º

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 122, Issue 132

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

News and Editorial Editor in Chief Scott Girard

Elton s Killing those bikers, smalls

Managing Editor Alex DiTullio

News Team News Manager Taylor Harvey Campus Editor Sam Cusick College Editor Cheyenne Langkamp City Editor Melissa Howison State Editor Jack Casey Enterprise Editor Samy Moskol Associate News Editor Meghan Chua Features Editor Ben Siegel Opinion Editors David Ruiz • Nikki Stout Editorial Board Chair Matt Beaty Arts Editors Cameron Graff • Andy Holsteen Sports Editors Vince Huth • Matt Masterson Page Two Editors Rachel Schulze • Alex Tucker Life & Style Editor Rebecca Alt Photo Editors Grey Satterfield • Abigail Waldo Graphics Editors Angel Lee • Dylan Moriarty Multimedia Editors Dani Golub Science Editor Matthew Kleist Diversity Editor Aarushi Agni Copy Chiefs Brett Bachman • Molly Hayman Matthew Kleist • Rachel Wanat Copy Editors Ali Bartoli • John Hannasch

adam wolf howlin’ mad


was planning on running Crazylegs this weekend, but then I looked online and saw I’d be paying $40 to most likely finance Barry Alvarez’s bloated salary, so I said screw it. But before coming to that decision, I did some reading up on the event and found that Ron Dayne was the race’s Grand Marshal in 2008, which is the least surprising thing ever. I feel embarrassed for Dayne when he’s introduced at Camp Randall every year just because he has nothing better to do, or when he’s signing autographs at whatever shitty appliance store happens to have its grand opening that week. No appearance is too insignificant for Dayne to extract every last ounce out of his 15 minutes. His Heisman Trophy is displayed at a goddamn Buffalo Wild Wings for fuck’s sake! What, Chili’s wasn’t low-brow enough?

Business and Advertising Business Manager Jacob Sattler Office Manager Emily Rosenbaum Advertising Managers Erin Aubrey • Dan Shanahan Account Executives Lyndsay Bloomfield • Alyssa Boczkicwicz Tessa Coan • Madi Fair Zachary Hanlon • Elissa Hersh Will Huberty • Jordan Laeyendecker Hannah Klein • Paulina Kovalo Danny Mahlum • Eric O’Neil Catherine Rashid • Ali Syverson Marketing Manager Caitlin Furin Copywriters Dustin Bui • Bob Sixsmith The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@

Editorial Board Matt Beaty • Alex DiTullio Anna Duffin • Nick Fritz • Scott Girard David Ruiz • Nikki Stout l

Board of Directors Jenny Sereno, President Scott Girard • Alex DiTullio Emily Rosenbaum • John Surdyk Erin Aubrey • Dan Shanahan Jacob Sattler • Janet Larson Stephen DiTullio • Herman Baumann Don Miner • Chris Drosner Jason Stein • Nancy Sandy Tina Zavoral

© 2013, The Daily Cardinal Media Corporation ISSN 0011-5398

For the record Corrections or clarifications? Call The Daily Cardinal office at 608-262-8000 or send an email to

Wednesday Morning Hangover

tODAY: t-storms

Movie from your childhood that kicks ass “The Sandlot” (1993)—Even if just about everybody you know overuses the line “You’re killing me,

Smalls!” to death, this film perfectly encapsulates the magic of summer. Because really there’s nothing more liberating when you’re a kid than having three months of no responsibilities whatsoever. There was one summer where I spent almost every day scaring myself to death watching marathons of “Unsolved Mysteries” while raiding the freezer and taking down about a half dozen frozen bean burritos. It’s sort of depressing that as you get older, summer is no longer about fun things like playing baseball or creating a makeshift slip ‘n slide. To realize you’re growing old is to care first and foremost about the current state of air conditioning.

First-World Hate of the week This week’s hate is reserved for door-to-door solicitors. Another reason why summer kind of sucks as you age is because these people start coming out of the woodwork in droves to bug the shit out of you. I know because I was once one of these solicitors in what was an illfated employment decision I made the summer following my freshman year of college. I was tasked with offering free window and siding estimates to homeowners in the Greater Milwaukee area, which

sounds like a noble gesture but was really an excuse for our sales team to get into your house and hardsell you on our crappy products. Much to my chagrin, the people that answered the door for me were never the lonely housewives that pop culture conditions you to believe. Instead, I usually spoke to senile old ladies who couldn’t comprehend what I was offering or just really freaking weird people. I had an old guy in Whitefish Bay answer the door wearing only his underwear one time. After I gave him my pitch, he actually expressed interest in an estimate on his windows and invited me inside his house to check out his window situation, but I decided against it. Honestly, that’s what I deserved for knocking on people’s doors trying to sucker money out of them.

Song that Never Fails to fire me up “Levon” (Elton John, 1971)— There are a lot of things that make Elton John great, most of which involve him tickling the ivories better than just about anyone for the last 40-plus years. But I’ll always remember him for his puzzling selection as the headlining act for Harley-Davidson’s 100th anniversary celebration in Milwaukee in

2003. This was a huge deal for the city—there were weeklong festivities celebrating the anniversary, with thousands of bikers from all over the country converging on the area. Harley-Davidson kept it under wraps all week which act was going to play on the final day, and naturally, people’s expectations were high. Most speculated the choice would be a band like the Stones, Aerosmith or ZZ Top – you know, the sort of acts that would resonate with these grizzled “Sons of Anarchy” lookalikes. Instead, that crowd was treated to stirring renditions of “Crocodile Rock” and “Tiny Dancer,” which went over about as well as a fire in a nursing home. Those bikers were so pissed.

Unedited moronic facebook status from a kid from my high> school “well shoot watchn buckwild all mornin made me realize shit now why n the hell didnt we make a redneck reality tv show years ago” I don’t think MTV needs further help in solidifying the blithering dumbass demographic. Ever gone door-to-door pushing product? Share your struggles with Adam by emailing him at

Potential plus apathy equals procrastination michael voloshin voloshin’s commotion


love the NFL Draft. Seeing 22-year-olds get picked up by teams hoping to be the next Brian Urlacher or Peyton Manning, when they could as easily be the next Akili Smith or Tony Mandarich. Hell, I love any kind of sports draft; NBA, MLB, MLS, Fantasy, I even watched the 2010 WNBA Draft because I wanted to know which NBA pro Tina Charles matched up with. I think what is so tantalizing about these over-hyped, never-remembered events is the prospect of potential. Anyone who is a religious follower of a major American sport knows the term “potential” is thrown around like the balls they play with. Drafting is an inexact science where you can have the number one pick be a complete bust or the number 199th pick win the Super Bowl three times. These young men will make a lot of money with just their pure talent alone. And these men can throw away all their money with their pure stupidity. With star athletes, we can argue about their potential and their physical gifts, but ultimately they are the masters of their own domains. If they want to eat their way out of a contract or get an addiction to codeine (hi JaMarcus Russell!), that’s their own prerogative. But why do we get so mad when these athletes that we’ve never met throw away their

lives when we do it almost as frequently? I’m not saying I have a sizzurp addiction or my reliance on Taco Shop will be my downfall, but man do I have untapped potential that needs to be realized. I guess we can see the potential of athletes because it’s in their muscles, their size, their speed and their play. The potential of Joe Schmoes like me is so much more hidden that there needs to be extra attention drawn to it. Every fucking second I spend on Reddit I could be doing something so much more productive; go to the gym, write this goddamn article I started 12 hours late, fix my LinkedIn (jk, what even is LinkedIn?). This is what I call (hey, Michael started a new trend, which is creating his own phrases, one every week, shut up this is new) potential apathy. Potential apathy is the refusal to do something you know is good for you in the future so your present is more enjoyable. Is potential apathy the same thing as procrastination? Good question Patrick, potential apathy is procrastination and all of its brothers; procrastincubation, procrastinception and of course, procrasturbation. Potential apathy is the reason why new bands spend more time coming up with a name than practicing, why aspiring actors have already written their Oscars speech before even learning their lines, and why I will never get anything done until the day it’s due. But do not cry for me, reader, because you do this too, we all do this. This is the beauty of life, where personal gain today seems

to be better than personal gain tomorrow but it really isn’t. That 15th page of Reddit, that 100th refresh of Twitter, that sixth time you googled Kevin Bacon (seriously, he’s overrated), they’re all distractions to the semi-Matrix that we call life. So next time you hear Tyrann Mathieu talk about his drug tests, or you see an athlete get a DUI, do not judge, because you’d do the same thing in their shoes (jk about the DUI stuff, that is literally the dumbest thing you can

do). We all make mistakes and we all have potential. It’s only the strongest and the smartest that realize their potential and become famous rock stars or economists (wait, what?). Just be thankful you can get anything done. I know I am thankful this is the last sentence of this article. What were you putting off while reading this article? Michael wants to know, so email to increase the number of distractions in his life.




Wisconsin Union Theater Endowment Fund

This theater season is supported in part by a grant from the Wisconsin Arts Board with funds from the State of Wisconsin and the National Endowment for the Arts. This project is supported by Dane Arts with additional funds from The Evjue Foundation, Inc., charitable arm of The Capital Times.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013 3


Petition seeks new Mifflin policing focus University of WisconsinMadison student Nicholas Glattard created an online petition April 24 in support of the Mifflin Street Block Party that has garnered approximately 650 signatures since its creation. The platform for the petition, which he created at, encourages police to focus on “student safety, rather than taking a no-tolerance, pro-citation stance on a time honored University of Wisconsin-Madison tradition,”

according to the website. The petition, called “Save Mifflin Street Block Party,” will be delivered to Mayor Paul Soglin, UW-Madison Police Department Chief Susan Riseling, Food and Alcohol Policy Coordinator Mark Woulf and Madison Police Department Chief Noble Wray upon reaching its 1,000 signature goal, according to the website. “This is a great tradition that should never be discontinued,” Glattard said on the petition’s website.

Nithin Charlly/the daily cardinal

Panelists discuss the history of modern terrorism and how it connects to the Boston bombings.

Panel discusses possible motives behind the Boston Marathon bombings By Sam Cusick The Daily Cardinal

The University of Wisconsin-Madison Center for Russia, East Europe and Central Asia hosted a panel discussion Tuesday to examine terrorism and the possible motives behind the recent Boston Marathon bombings. The panel consisted of Political Science professor Andrew Kydd, Sociology professor Theodore Gerber and Middle East Studies professor Uli Schamiloglu, who discussed the history of terrorism throughout Central Asia. Panelists focused on past terror attacks that occurred or were the consequence of groups from the same region as the Tsarnaev brothers, who committed the Boston Marathon bombings.

housing from page 1 would be responsible for bringing any issues with the space to the landlord’s attention. The bill was introduced by four Assembly Republicans and received co-sponsorship from state Sen. Frank Lasee, R-De Pere. Robert Kovach, Lasee’s chief of staff, said the legislators introduced the legislation because they discovered there were specific needs that needed to be addressed in statewide housing rules. Ald. Scott Resnick, District 8, said he disapproves of the bill because it takes rights away from student tenants in favor of landlords. He cited specif-

Kydd emphasized the fact that this latest attack, while tragic, is not as severe as past terrorist attacks in the United States. During his speech, Gerber focused on the Tsarnaev brothers’ ethnic relation to the Chechin province of Russia and how many media outlets played up their ties to the location to prove the bombings were an act of terror. However, Gerber said he does not believe the brothers were well trained at all, which is inconsistent with terrorist plots originating from that area. Schamiloglu primarily focused on the relationship between religion and terrorism, specifically that of Islam. He said media outlets quickly focused on the Tsarnaev’s Muslim faith to portray the bombings as an act of jihad.

However, Schamiloglu suggested that since the act has no clear political motive, unlike most attacks, the bombings could be attributed more to the brothers’ mental instability and self-radicalization than a planned terrorist attack. Associate Director of CREECA Jennifer Tishler said her department organized the event to help students to understand terroristic acts from multiple perspectives and realize the events are more complex than they seem. “Part of the mission of our center is to do this kind of community outreach,” Tishler said. “When there is a big event in the news, like the recent bombings at the Boston Marathon we feel that it is our responsibility to respond to that and to allow people to learn more about it.”

ic portions of the bill he said could affect students the most, including portions relating to a landlord’s ability to withhold portions of a security deposit for damages without notifying tenants of specific deductions. “Essentially, students would just receive the bill from their landlord,” Resnick said. “What this does is it makes it easier for the landlord to put students at a significant disadvantage, basically to [not] even be aware of what they’re being charged with.” Ryan Prestil, an Associated Students of Madison council representative who has worked on the Student Tenant Bill of Rights, also said he opposes the proposed legislation, mainly because it largely eliminates a

landlord’s responsibility to communicate with student tenants. “The landlord is not responsible for getting [students’] information,” Prestil said. “That is something that is really concerning for me being an advocate for having an actual dialogue with the landlord before and during the lease term.” Resnick and Prestil also raised concerns that legislators were trying to “fast-track” the bill by introducing it so late in the school year, essentially keeping students from having a chance to give their input. “I don’t know if it was planned that way, but it is definitely not to the benefit of us as students to organize around [the bill],” Prestil said. But Kovach maintained the bill did not contain any language that disenfranchised student tenants or other citizens in the state. Melissa Howison contributed to this report.

Lao-Thai Valley Restaurant Free soda with the purchase of an entree! *With Ad *With Student ID

bars from page 1 worked very hard with people in both the law enforcement and drug prevention community to really raise awareness to the seriousness of this as a public health and public safety issue,” Jacque said. —Justin Williams

ASM declares ‘War on Fiscal Insanity’ in light of ongoing reckless spending The Associated Students of Madison denounced internal fiscal irresponsibility, including excessive spending by student leaders for travel and events with low turnout, in an early Wednesday morning press release from ASM interim Chair Nick Checker. In the release, ASM declared a “War on Fiscal Insanity,” citing misuse of student segregated fees such as a student leader using a corporate credit card to pay a $50 tip to a pizza delivery man. The release also cited misuses of funding such as $1000 on “cookies and pop” and a $1200 Appreciation Day dinner. Checker said such events show a larger cultural problem in ASM, “where a gluttonous sense of elitism and entitlement reduces the student segregated fees into monopoly money.”

“Hopefully going forward, people are more conscious about their fiduciary duties to students to spend money wisely,” Checker said. “This is something we 100 percent control, and yet it’s being abused.” Andrew Bulovsky, who was the chair of ASM during its former session which ended at midnight Tuesday, called the statement “a rather fair representation of ASM.” Both Checker and Bulovsky said the budget process could use more oversight, and the culture of ASM should change to emphasize professionalism and fiscal responsibility. Bulovsky added budgeting is a learning experience for students. “Part of the process of going through college seems to be not taking care of … money in the most efficient way possible,” he said. —Meghan Chua

Savannah stauss/daily cardinal file photo

ASM interim Chair Nick Checker said ASM members abuse the discretionary power they hold as student leaders.

City to use website for input on budget The City of Madison will use a website to emphasize and promote public input in the discussion of the 2014 city budget, according to a city press release. This year, Madison citizens are invited to share their ideas using the online idea collaboration tool IdeaScale, which allows participants to suggest ideas as well as vote on ideas shared by others, according to the release. Feedback from residents on difficult budget choices will help city officials create a budget that reflects the desires and priorities of

Madison residents, the release said. In-person budget conversations for community members will be held in May at four different Madison locations. The meetings will be organized around the ideas shared by residents on IdeaScale for topics such as work, transportation, health, safety and food. In the budget process, the mayor introduces the executive budget to the city council in September which the city can amend before voting on adoption in November.

arts l


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Gatsby and the great American dread Sean Reichard quip quo pro Travesty. Tra-ves-ty. Noun. Plural: –ties. A false, absurd, or distorted representation of something. Used in a sentence: “The new ‘Great Gatsby’ movie is going to be a travesty.” There, I said it. Yes, it appears I am preemptively censuring Baz Luhrmann for adapting one of the 20th century’s finest novels into a movie, precipitating F. Scott Fitzgerald’s long tonic dream into a film redolent of glissaded glamour. And now you’re expecting me to spend the rest of this column lashing out a dangerous diatribe against the whole project. It’s not going to come to that. Frankly, it’s a losing battle trying to adapt any book, especially one as ingrained as Gatsby. What Baz has done is nothing new, and I can’t think of anything to term his attempt—Luhrmannsanity? And I’m too old for sour grapes and spoiled milk on the matter. If people want a movie, they can have one. They’ve had one, too. In 10th grade, we had to watch the 1974 adaptation of Gatsby. Sam Waterston (sexy beast) was a preternatural Nick Carraway, and Robert Redford pulled off Gatsby pretty well. The rest of the movie was inane. My main paranoiac strain is people will see the movie and assume it’s a faithful rendering of the book, or that the two are on the same footing. Because, just from watching the trailers, I can already see where the movie deviates or just makes things up. I can point out the dialogue not spoken in the book, the scenes not scripted by Fitz, the attitudes that are glossily amplified. There’s one scene where Nick Carraway emotes. If you’ve read the book you know the idea is outrageous. I have not seen it yet, but I know for sure there’ll be movie tie-in book, and if I really felt like indulging my paranoia receptors, I’d be afraid they altered the book to suit the movie—interpolated their own addenda and agendas. I tried to find a passage worthy of parodic meddling, some passage where Gatsby could dual wield pistols and blow up a truck or something. I didn’t find anything like that. The closest I came to making my point was by altering the scene where Nick Carraway talks about Jordan Baker’s habitual dishonesty and delivers one of the book’s most important lines: “Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known. Bitches be cray, yo.” And so parody, yon tender

blossom, wilts. My reaction to this movie will forever be rooted in my love for the book, and the fear that the movie will wrongly eclipse the original novel. It’s a bit of a silly sentiment, since “The Great Gatsby” has been a cornerstone of American letters since its publication in 1925. It’s the perennial high school read. I have not heard any legitimate objections to the book’s existence/ style. The only criticism I’ve heard of Gatsby is that it’s plotless or overly diffuse, to some people. In my mind, “The Great Gatsby” is a profound and ethereal book. It is like a tonic (I invoked this earlier) but it’s more than that. It’s got a gin aspect to it. Its prose has a botanical freshness; it laps over your mind in vapors. “The Great Gatsby” reads like a gin and tonic, but it doesn’t leave you drunk, it doesn’t tighten you up. This isn’t a slight against drinkers or readers of drunken books. Plenty of books will try and envelop you and dull your senses, but very few authors can write a book that flushes you like a drink but doesn’t rob you of your senses. That kind of writing takes practice, or miracles. If I could isolate what it is I like about “The Great Gatsby” so much, it would be how spot-on the book is on the subject of loneliness. If Fitzgerald, at the bottom

of one of his gin fizzes had decided to call it “The Book of Human Loneliness,” all pretensions aside, he would have been right. Nick, Daisy, Tom, Myrtle, George, the party goers—the book is populated by lonely people, lonely for very different reasons. But Gatsby is the prince of human loneliness. That is his character, and that’s something people seem to miss. The upcoming movie certainly missed it. Gatsby is not a hero. He is not a winner. The story of the movie will be that he built an empire out of nothing but his dreams, and incarnated an emperor out of a hardscrabble boy; he will vie for Daisy, the resplendent empress, only to have his fate sealed by jealousy, madness and murder. It will be a tragedy. The story of the novel is he built a façade out of nothing but his dreams, and incarnated a gesture out of a hardscrabble boy. He vied for Daisy, moneyed voice, and his fate was sealed by jealousy, madness and murder. It is a story. I imagine the movie will be good in its own right, even if it’s an unmitigated travesty of one of the world’s most ineffable books. So maybe I do have sour grapes towards the movie. But at least I can always make wine out of that. What’s that, wine and “The Great Gatsby?” I can dig it. Tell Sean you can dig it at

Graphic by Dylan MOriarty




Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Ace that test: exercise, study, eat, repeat one of their classes. Give yourself a break from the library and laugh with some friends as you burn calories without even noticing!

By Jordyn Silverstein the daily cardinal

As Badgers, we are definitely familiar with the quote, “work hard, play hard.” Unfortunately, with exams coming up we are all going to be sitting in our dorm rooms, friends’ apartments, campus libraries or random coffee shops focusing on the “work hard” aspect of that phrase. Finals week can be the most stressful time of the year, and with summer right around the corner, it is nearly impossible to stay focused. However, before you drive yourself insane by imagining every possible dreadful scenario—failing your chemistry test, forgetting to turn in your English paper or running out of time to complete your history project—look here to find healthy ways to de-stress! It is important to remember that you need to give yourself breaks. Studying for too long will not only make you restless, but you won’t retain all of the information. A great way to give your brain the break it needs is to exercise! Physical exercise, whether that means going for a walk along State Street or going for a two mile run throughout Madison, is one of the best ways to release your built up stress. To make your workout even better, don’t deprive yourself of the refreshing beautiful weather and do your exercise of choice outdoors. Does the term “runners high” sound familiar? Exercise generates a release of endorphins (natural mood-enhancers) from your brain that will help take your mind off of school work or any obstacle you’re focused on. Exercising is the perfect way to release tension, anger or stress you have accumulated while at the same


Photo Courtesy of CYC

Cyc is Jordyn’s top pick for a fun, challenging way to de-stress for final exams. time getting in shape for swimsuit season. After staring at the same page in your textbook for hours on end, try some of the following ideas to ease your schoolrelated woes a bit.


Cyc: This is my personal favorite. Cyc is an indoor spinning studio that offers multiple 45 minute classes a day where you burn up to 800 calories. Bring some friends, exercise to great music and clear your mind before you go back to the books! Kaivalya Yoga: What’s a better way to release some of your tension than taking a relaxing yoga class? Stretch your muscles, sculpt your body and get rid of all stressful thoughts by enrolling in any of the classes offered such as power flow, hot power flow or mad yogi flow. Take your pick! The SERF or the NAT: Both of these recreational gyms are perfect places to

go with friends who all want to do different activities. Between the huge weight rooms, swimming pools, indoor tracks and basketball courts, large cardio rooms and fitness studios, there are endless possibilities to relieve stress. Swimming is a great aerobic workout that uses your whole body and will give you the chance to ignore all your work. Or if you’re not a fan of swimming or static exercise machines, try one of the group classes offered such as core crunch, zumba or hip-hop! The Natatorium, often referred to as the NAT, has a great indoor swimming pool where you can do laps or go for a dive. The NAT also offers access to the outdoor Perrier Paracourse Fitness Circuit and the lakeshore running path, two great places to enjoy the weather and get in shape. Dance Fabulous Dancing: This is always a fun way to let loose and have fun. There is no pressure to be a professional or experienced dancer before trying out

Lakeshore Path: For all the runners out there, the lakeshore path is the best place to be. Even if you’re walking through it, the beautiful scenery will be sure to help you alleviate some anxiety. Choose this path for your next running excursion! Madison B-Cycle: Rent a bike with some friends and ride to the capitol or down the lakeshore path to forget about studying. Pick up a bike from a variety of stations placed throughout Madison, give yourself an hour or two break, grab some food and then return the bike to any station you want. I can’t think of a more perfect study break! Volleyball: Right outside of the Witte dorm, there’s a great volleyball court where you can toss around the ball just for fun. Grab a couple friends, put together a team and enjoy yourself before you head back to the library. Finals week is definitely not the ideal “fun” way to end an amazing year at UW. Make it better by working in some exercise and enjoying the weather, even if it means just going for a walk. Use these tips to relieve some of your final’s week stress and to get in some quality time with your friends before you separate for the summer! Want to join Jordyn in a game of volleyball this week? Email her at jasilverstei@wisc. edu to form a team and release your pent-up stress on a wicked spike or two.

Sprucing up your home away from home on a budget By Kelsey Eichman The Daily Cardinal

Being on a typical college student’s budget while trying to create a stylish apartment can be tough. Your apartment will probably have carpets that are some unknown brown-green mess of color and will, to your surprise and horror, soak up any substance. Despite this and a lack of “cute” furniture, your apartment can still look good. Maybe even Pinterestworthy if you have the knack, however, it might require some handiwork of your own. A tray can do wonders for a room. Seriously, a tray. In a bedroom, it offers a way to store your jewelry, makeup or perfume in a way that keeps them from looking as though they are just lying around. If you’re going to store your makeup supplies, filling an empty candle jar with coffee beans makes for a great way to hold makeup brushes. In a living room, a tray keeps your coffee table looking chic and purposeful. Put big art books on it (you can find cheap ones

on eBay or a second-hand store), some flowers and top it off with a candle. Another great way to spice up your organizational tools is by painting the inside shelves of a bookcase. This is a great way to add style to an outdated bookcase you purchased cheap at a garage sale or Goodwill. Use a bright color like orange to give it an unexpected pop. You can also use gold spray paint to make an industrial metal shelf go from gritty to glam. Don’t stop painting there. Paint an inspirational quote on a canvas frame found at your local craft store, and hang it up on a wall. Alternatively, use chalkboard paint on the side of a bookshelf or dresser to add some pizzazz and keep track of your to-dos. When designing your place, don’t be afraid to use an item for something other than its intended use. For example, hang a full-length mirror horizontally above a desk or dresser rather than vertically over your door. This gives an otherwise basic item a really artistic

presence. You can even try stacking two or three to further the sophistication of this look. Another innovative trick is to use a frame, wire and clothespins to showcase your photos in a new way. By attaching two or three wires along the frame’s edges (from the left-side to the right-side) and using clothespins to hang your photos along the wires, the frame becomes more visually appealing and unique. This idea works well with all styles of frames. It’s important to make your apartment/ house personal. Include décor details that are specific to your roommates. A unique way to incorporate your roommates into the unit is by framing maps of everyone’s hometown or home state. If you recently studied abroad, you can do something similar. Take a map of wherever you studied and use thick, bright thread to sew your path to various cities. To spice it up, use personal photos of you and your friends abroad to border the map and include souvenirs like tickets to really bring your memories

to life, rather than have them remain forgotten in the bottom of a drawer. If you and your roommates really want a cohesive, stylish unit, make a group Pinterest board to get a sense of one another’s ideas and preferences. When furniture shopping, don’t forget to check out thrift stores, eBay, and Etsy for “vintage” pieces that still have charm but without the price-sticker shock. If you just can’t handle the thought of a previous owner for your midcentury, barrel back chaise, check out home flash sale websites like One Kings Lane, Gilt, Rue La La and Joss & Main. They offer very high quality items at deeply discounted prices. The task of making student living “cute” may seem daunting but it is much simpler than it appears. Organization and a touch of personalization is all it takes to make your temporary home have the calming qualities of a permanent one. Email Kelsey your inquiries about interior design on a budget at

Everything in moderation: a guide to turning risqué into head-turning outfits By Jordyn Silverstein The daily cardinal

Do you ever scan the pages of a fashion magazine or look at a fashion blog, see your favorite celebrity and think, “She looks amazing, but I could never wear something like that”? I know I do, and rightfully so. With stylists and major events to attend, celebrities get the chance to take some major fashion risks that some of us might feel uncomfortable sporting at Johnny O’s on a Thursday. For the bolder among us, by all means, rock that courageous outfit, but for the milder, here are some ways to translate hard-to-wear celebrity style into something more simple.

Head-To-Toe Menswear

It’s funny how Angelina Jolie looks flawless in a full-on pantsuit, but if you tried to wear that, it would look seriously out of place. It’s not an easy thing for anyone to make such

a boyish shape look glamorous and sophisticated, so don’t worry if you can’t pull that off. To ease into it, try a blazer. In black or navy blue, a blazer is the perfect piece to throw on over a cute patterned tank (Pitaya’s has lots!). Complete the look with skinny jeans and ballet flats or your favorite pair of wedges. Not only does the blazer look cute, but it also functions as a way to stay warm on those freezing walks to the bar.


If wearing a metallic dress makes you feel like a Hershey kiss wrapper, you’re not alone. Stepping out in something shiny automatically attracts a lot of attention, and attention can be great, but maybe not always in the UW-Madison social scene. The solution is to start simple and see just how much shine you can handle. First, try a metallic clutch with a simple outfit. Let the bag be the attention grabber.

If you’re feeling a little more adventurous, try a metallic top with black skinny jeans and black wedges. The shirt will stand out, but the outfit won’t be overwhelming so you won’t become the disco ball at the frat party.

Shorts and Heels

When someone like Blake Lively steps out in shorts and heels, she looks classy and put together. Maybe it’s because she has legs for miles, but it’s also because she knows how to make the look work. The key is to balance the outfit. First off, make sure the shorts are a good fit. If they’re going to be the focal point of the outfit, you want to make sure they’re not skintight and are a tasteful length. Heels lift and lengthen your legs, so double check that your shorts still work with them. Second, start with wedges. Yes, celebs somehow pull off shorts and sky-high pumps, but that is no easy feat, especially in a college

town. Wedges will make the outfit a bit more comfortable and keep it from getting risqué. Lastly, choose your top wisely. Something a little loose like a blouse or a flowy tank compliments the look and keeps it elegant. Perhaps throw on a cropped jacket or (hey #1) a blazer. This look is great for a warm night as long as it’s done right. Next time you’re envying a celebrity look and wondering if you could pull it off, just give it a try. Modify it, make it more you, but don’t be afraid to test it out. If you don’t like how something looks, at least you can say you took a fashion risk. You never know, maybe people will be looking at your outfits thinking, “She looks great. I’d love to wear something like that.” Fancy another tip or two? Email your questions to Sydney at and transform your run-of-the-mill look into an attention-grabbing getup on State Street.


So much to do, so very little time.

Today’s Sudoku

Eatin’ Cake


90s nostalgia woo! The author of the Hunger Games also wrote Clarrisa Explains it All. Wednesday, May 1, 2013 • 7

By Dylan Moriarty

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Caved In

By Nick Kryshak

Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

First In Twenty By Angel Lee

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

By Melanie Shibley

Evil Bird Classic By Caitlin Kirihara Answer key available at

TAKE ME HOME, CROSSWORD ROADS ACROSS 1 Word in French restaurant names 5 Sweater size, say 10 One-time Kremlin dweller 14 Freeway division 15 Bald eagle nest 16 “Lilo & Stitch” dance 17 Fine mount 18 Dylan’s “As ___ Out One Morning” 19 Do as told 20 Top layer of an organization, typically 23 Alternative energy choice 24 Squeak remover 25 Boat propeller? 28 67.5 degrees on a compass (Abbr.) 29 Escapees from Pandora’s Box 33 Bobby’s wife on the original “Dallas” 35 Arctic and Atlantic 37 Burden or responsibility 38 Certain source of illumination 43 Use a fruit knife on 44 Decorative neckwear 45 At leisure 48 Needle apertures

9 4 52 53 55 57 62 64 65 66 7 6 68 69 70 71

Sixth sense Pen tip Mountain 1,000 kilograms Narc Smilin’ Lisa Coupe de ___ Icky or sticky stuff Name of many Norwegian kings Ring great Griffith Axlike tool with a curved blade How thumbs are twiddled Stock without face value “... ___ the twain shall meet”

DOWN 1 Part of a contract 2 “NCIS” star Mark 3 Pave the way for 4 Striped critter 5 Crossjack, e.g. 6 Act like a baby 7 Paperhanger’s computation 8 Slang 9 Deliver a tirade 10 You, in the Bible 11 Court summons 12 Beverage with fish and chips, perhaps 13 Sunshine unit 21 Susan Lucci role

22 Ending with “pay” or “Motor” 26 Target of a college fund-raiser 27 Speak hoarsely 30 Potok’s “My Name Is Asher ___” 31 Not of the clergy 32 Sleep soundly? 34 Shed, as skin 35 Nabisco best-seller 36 Overwhelm with humor 38 Current about 39 Past midnight 40 Court-martial setting 41 Wife without in-laws? 42 There’s no accounting for it 46 Down in the dumps 47 One and one, side-byside 49 Write, as computer programs 50 Alarm clock button 51 Effervescent doctor? 54 First-class, in slang 56 Hammond product 58 The blue of many blazers 59 Cut out, as a coupon 60 Casa kitchen crock 61 Change directions suddenly 62 Pronoun for Miss Piggy 63 “... at the ___ ball game!”

Washington and the Bear Classic

By Derek Sandberg

The Daily Cardinal  

The Daily Cardinal

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