FAKE NEWS FRIDAY Frat boys experience Passover poo problems and the women of the world finally come back with some sandwiches.
+ PAGE TWO University of Wisconsin-Madison
L.A. musician Ari Herstand attempts to capture his Midwestern roots after recording his new album in Northfield, Minn.
+ ARTS, page 4
Complete campus coverage since 1892
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012
Police talk Mifflin Street Block Party safety, future By Sam Garigliano The Daily Cardinal
lesia witkowsky/the daily cardinal
SSFC voted to fund the SAFEcab service Thursday after students voiced concern over the committee cutting the program in March.
SSFC reinstates funding for SAFEcab By Sam Morgen The Daily Cardinal
The student government finance committee voted Thursday to reinstate funding for SAFEcab, a campus transportation service that provides late-night cab rides despite new difficulties in finding management for the service. The Student Services Finance Committee decided to continue delegating funds to the SAFEcab service, reversing the decision the committee made in late March, when concerns over cost inefficiencies and declining use prompted SSFC to suspend the programs funding. SSFC Representative and Student Transportation Board member Laura Checovich said she
received e-mails from many students who expressed concern over the lack of safe transportation if SAFEcab is no longer an option. Checovich said the committee should find a way to fund SAFEcab, saying the problem with the management could be worked out in the future. “This is about providing the service and making sure that the students are getting what they need,” Checovich said. Transportation Services, the organization in charge of the UW-Madison bus system and parking meters, said in an e-mail to the SSFC even if the committee decided to reinstate funding for SAFEcab, Transportation Services would not continue to manage the pro-
gram. Transportation Services, operating under a million dollar budget deficit said SAFEcab was too cost ineffective a program to keep in existence. By voting to continue to fund SAFEcab, SSFC needs to find a way to manage the call center responsible for fielding calls from students with Union Cab, the company contracted by UW to operate the service. Checovich said in a statement that by discontinuing to manage SAFEcab, Transportation Services impedes on students’ ability to determine where their student fees go. “Students have made it clear that this program is a priority and the University is blocking us,” Checovich said.
Madison police discussed new safety measures at this year’s Mifflin Street Block Party and the possibility of future alternative solutions at a city safety committee meeting Thursday. In response to the violence at last year’s block party, Central District Executive Captain of Police Carl Gloede said there will be an increase in police presence at this year’s block party, including six additional horsemounted officers. Gloede said last year’s block party was the worst in the nearly 20 years he has attended Mifflin and said he was completely shocked there was not a riot. In order to minimize violence, police will be monitoring house parties and enforcing regulations such as prohibiting underage drinking and glass bottles in addition to open alcohol containers in the street. “If people are looking for a wild and crazy weekend, we don’t believe it’s going to be here and they should go look somewhere else,” Gloede said. Police and building safety inspectors are also making an effort to foster communication between residents and police by
photo courtesy facebook
A student designed shirts referencing the violence at last year’s block party. going door to door giving safety tips and making sure porches and houses are structurally safe, according to Gloede. While Gloede said it is understandable city officials and residents want to end the block party, he thinks shutting down the event is unrealistic and any attempts to disband the party “would not be pretty.” Additionally, he said the cost of ending the event would be more than the current cost of regulating it. Gloede said moving the event
mifflin page 3
Court accepts changes to two Milwaukee voting districts Federal judges officially revised two district lines in Milwaukee they say disenfranchised a community of Latinos, ending a months long process that pitted Democrats and Republicans against each other over new district maps passed last summer. Every 10 years district maps are redrawn to better represent the shifts in population within the state. The new maps, drawn by a Republican-controlled legislature, were criticized for being drafted in secret, allegedly disfranchising thousands of Wisconsin voters and favoring Republicans. Consequently, Democrats
challenged the maps in court, a lawsuit that resulted in changes to the eighth and ninth districts in Milwaukee. Of the 132 redrawn maps, a panel of three federal judges deemed only two districts violated the Voting Rights Act because they weakened the Latino vote by dividing the community, preventing a Latino majority. To fix the situation, the judges ordered both Republicans and Democrats submit new maps. They chose the Democrats’ map Thursday, which recreates the Latino majority. Republicans said the maps
they drew were successful, since the judges found only two of the 132 new districts were unconstitutional. Democrats are also pleased with the court’s decision to choose their revisions. However, Sen. Mark Miller, D-Madison, said, “Republicans continue to get away with their almost laughable claim that their maps were not influenced by partisan factors.” The 2002 maps will be used for the upcoming June recall elections and the new maps will be employed for the November elections. —Kendalyn Thoma
Blue like her
Female a capella group Tangled Up In Blue held the first night of their spring show Thursday at the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art + Photo by Stephanie Daher
“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”
page two 2
tODAY: pm showers
Saturday: am showers
hi 59º / lo 51º
hi 70º / lo 49º
hi 72º / lo 60º
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012
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Humanities major gets job By Ariel Shapiro Fake news friday
Word quickly spread across the UW-Madison campus Thursday of a humanities major earning paid employment upon graduation, resulting in reactions of confusion, despair and hope. Joel Bloomgarden, who will graduate in May with a Bachelor of Arts in history and comparative literature, was just as shocked as his peers. “I mean, I’m happy, but I just don’t get it. I didn’t think good things could happen to people who choose to pursue academics that actually interest them,” he said. “Maybe I’m being punk’d.” Classmates from Bloomgarden’s course on European nihilism recalled the mayhem that ensued when he mentioned his new employment in passing. “Good thing the Humanities building is riot proof, because there was a lot of chair-throwing going on,” senior Kylie Vergara said. “I was jealous too, of course. But some people took it over the edge.” “Why him? What makes him so fucking special? I WANT ANSWERS!” shrieked fifth-year
senior Emily Ipswich. The company at which Bloomgarden will be employed come June said they hired him because of the skills he obtained through his liberal arts education. “We were impressed by Mr. Bloomgarden’s ability to think critically,” said company CEO Gerald Moneybags. “No, really we were.” Fellow humanities majors are not the only ones dismayed by Bloomgarden’s good fortune. The Business School and College of Engineering released a joint statement condemning the occurrence. “Representing all business and engineering majors on this campus, we denounce claims by one Joel Bloomgarden that he has, in fact, been offered a paid position,” the statement read. “If this happenstance is proven to be true, we seek to emphasize that we, the powerful and mighty, still hold the monopoly on all employment ever.” Still, sophomore English major Stephen Sonnenberg said he is inspired by Bloomgarden’s achievement. “Maybe there is hope for us yet,” Sonnenberg said.
Women concede inferiority Dispelling decades of rumor and misinformation, women of the world announced Thursday that gender equality is actually a myth and they “really just want to make some sandwiches.” “The GOP is right,” women confessed at a press conference Thursday. “We really would like to return to the kitchen.” The announcement comes after years spent planting misleading statistics and staging fake protests designed to convince the public that gender equality is a good thing. Being female, women fell for the ruse and “believed we were entitled to equal pay, mutual respect and the same rights as men,” they said. “We should have known better,” women conceded Thursday while tying their apron strings and applying lipstick. In Wisconsin and across the country, the announcement reaffirms what wise conservative legislators knew all along. Scott Fitzgerald, the state’s Senate Republican Leader and generally super chill bro, led the legislature in passing what a few meanspirited, frigid hags described as
“women-bashing bills.” The legislation included bills to repeal the Equal Pay Act and implement tougher barriers for women seeking abortions in Wisconsin. “Retrospectively, we should have known we were right,” Fitzgerald said, “We are men, after all.” Republican presidential candidates Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich hailed the announcement as a victory, releasing a joint press release entitled “We told you so.” Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was among those who shot down such suggestions that the United States should not revert to 19th century standards. According to Walker, the recent announcement from women proves he and his legislators have been right all along. “Why didn’t I emphasize signing that legislation into law?” Walker snapped. “Because it was common sense and totally not a big deal.” “Duh,” the governor added. Women would have responded to the legislators’ criticisms themselves, but chose to defer to the better judgment of men. —definitely not Glenn Grothman
The letter Glenn Grothman hates this week is: W • Working women • Talky women • Driving women • WNBA
• Women’s equal pay • Women who like women • Womanhood
Stephanie Daher/the daily cardinal
Because the Passover diet can be rough on one’s digestive system, Kosher laxatives are needed to stay regular.
No Kosher laxative poses pooping probz By Moses Fake news friday
Langdon Street is feeling the impact of a shockwave that has stretched from Skokie, Ill., to St. Louis Park, Minn. The Upper Midwest’s sole producer of kosher laxatives has ceased operation. Oy! Brands, based in Postville, Iowa, went into bankruptcy protection in early March due to ill-faring investments. Oy’s signature product, Mishu-Gotta Poop, is the only kosher laxative readily available in the Upper Midwest.
“Instead of our weekly Monday-night keg of Natty Light, we partied with prune juice.” Shumel T. Stevenson president Alpha Epsilon Pi
This week is the Jewish holiday of Passover commemorating the ancient Israelites’ exodus from slavery in Egypt. To observe the holiday, Jews eat matzah, the unleavened bread their ancestors brought with them on their journey, since they did not have time to let it rise. One side effect of the weeklong consumption of matzah is constipation. The bland, tasteless sheets of flour and water are known to clog a person’s intestines. As such, the
need for kosher bowel stimulation is especially crucial during this time of year. When the last box of Mishu-Gotta Poop went out Community Pharmacy’s door early last week, manager Anna Jeonsen knew the results could be disastrous. “I’ve been fielding constant calls from countless customers, and I’ve had to deliver the same bad news to each and every one of them,” Jeonsen said. “I pray for their families… and their plumbing.” The Jewish fraternities on Langdon Street, some of which house over 50 matzaheating young men, have taken precautions this week as the men’s constipation could place potentially catastrophic burdens on the decades-old sewage systems. Alpha Epsilon Pi President Shumel T. Stevenson detailed the measures. “We are definitely encouraging our members to drink a lot of water and eat plenty of fruit this week,” he said. “Instead of our weekly Monday night keg of Natty Light, we partied with prune juice. Those flabongos were insane!” Stevenson also said that AEPi and the other Jewish fraternity houses pooled their money and hired an on-call plumber for the holiday to ensure 24-hour service would be available should an issue arise. Sororities, however, declined to participate as they refuse to admit girls poop.
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012 3
Student leaders allegedly violate campaign rules
stephanie daher/the daily cardinal
Vice President of Boldt Construction Jeff Niesen presented the final union construction budget to the Union Design Committee.
Union Design Committee reviews project’s budget By Alex DiTullio The Daily Cardinal
Progress continued Thursday for construction plans to the west end of the Memorial Union terrace, as the Memorial Union Design Committee discussed the finalized budget for the project that members said should be easily met. Jeff Niesen, the vice president of the project’s construction manager, said a little more than $40 million of the project’s nonflexible $52 million budget will be used for construction. Niesen said while his company, called Boldt, is still $1.8 million away from meeting the budget cap, the margin will likely decrease to approximately $200,000 within the next few weeks. He said one of the ways they will meet this goal is by lowering contingencies, which account for unpredictable expenses that could occur after construction begins. According to Niesen, risks include unforeseen conditions associated with construction, such as the difficulties with building foundations and tearing down walls. He added Boldt currently spends the equivalent of 10 percent of the total budget
on contingencies. But as construction progresses exposing these uncertain conditions, Niesen said the risk will decrease. He added this process will return money to the budget, which would help offset the $1.8 million deficit and possibly allow certain features to be added back into construction that were previously cut to save money. “At this moment, we can’t guarantee it,” Niesen said. “Those are goals, those are hopes, those are the things we’re driving for as we go forward.” Niesen said Boldt is conducting exploratory work to identify unforeseen problems early, so it can predict the amount of contingencies that will be returned to the budget. Also at the meeting, Committee Member Wendy von Below said the proposed brat stand on the terrace, which was previously designed with indoor grills, was approved to function completely outside. She said this change will allow the stand to be more efficient with quicker moving lines. Phase one of construction is scheduled to begin in July and will be completed by June 2014.
Associated Students of Madison Diversity Chair Niko Magallon brought two complaints before the Student Judiciary Thursday, saying two newly elected student leaders violated campaign rules in this spring’s student government elections. Magallon said Rep. Maria Giannopolous pressured individuals to vote for her and other candidates when she approached them at College Library and watched them cast votes on their computers in some instances. He said next year’s ASM Rep. Marie Kumerow illegally chalked campaign information where it could not be washed away by rain. Sophomore Sam Seering
spoke on behalf of Kumerow, saying her chalk was washed away by rain, and Magallon presented no evidence to prove otherwise. Rep. Cale Plamann said Giannopolous was helping students vote, and if the students she approached said they felt uncomfortable she would have left. Plamann said punishing Giannopolous for helping students vote would impede on her freedom of speech. “What we really need to look at here is the chilling effect on speech on campus, not necessarily the actions that would be banned, but the people that would think originally [to campaign on campus] but who are otherwise prohibited from
exercising their right to speech for fear of repercussions,” Plamann said. But Magallon said violating elections rules takes advantage of students on campus, and the SJ should hold Kumerow and Giannopolous accountable for breaching them. “I would just hope that this is a gut check for the integrity of ASM elections,” Magallon said. “These things happen every year, people think they can get away with it, and we come back and have these messy litigations. Either you all need to expand the rules… or you need to implement some harsh penalties.” The SJ has ten school days to decide on the cases. —Anna Duffin
Four UW faculty ranked among country’s top 300 teachers Four UW-Madison faculty members have been ranked among the country’s top 300 teachers by The Princeton Review and RateMyProfessors.com. UW’s Bryan Hendricks, a senior lecturer in the psychology department; Aric Rindfleisch, a professor in the School of Business; Kevin T.
Strang, a faculty associate in the neuroscience department; and Jonathan E. Martin, professor and chair of atmospheric and oceanic studies were all named to the list. The Princeton Review, which helps students prepare for college admissions, compiled the list based on reviews by thousands of students and
reviews on www.ratemyprofessors.com, a web site that allows students to rate their professors’ performances. The list does not rank teachers in order and includes professors from more than 60 fields at 122 colleges. Less than a quarter of those institutions had four or more teachers on the list.
Tea Party supporters to hold Tax Day Rally at Capitol Tea Party supporters will rally at the Capitol Saturday for their annual Tax Day Rally to support Gov. Scott Walker and spread their message promoting less government, lower taxes and economic freedom. “Wisconsin is in the spotlight, and a strong showing
on Tax Day will send a message across the country,” Meg Ellefson, founder of the Wausau Tea Party, said in a statement. Dana Loesch of BigJournalism. com, Jim Hoft of Gateway Pundit, Stephen Kruiser of PJTV.com and Nashville recording artist Krista Branch will speak to the crowd.
The rally will start at 11:30 AM. The event comes days after the recall elections of Walker, Lt. Gov. Rebecca Kleefisch and four Republican state Senators were confirmed. Primary elections for those recalls will be held May 8 and the general election will be June 5.
Regents plan for next state budget, approve creation of softball facility The UW System Board of Regents began preparing for the 2013-15 state budget with a discussion at a meeting Thursday. System President Kevin Reilly said it is important the board begin dialogues about the budget early in order to best advocate for the system’s needs. “We want to take a deliberative, strategic approach; one that gives board members time to understand the complex issues, ask questions now and to formulate questions for later,” Reilly said. System Vice President for Administration and Fiscal Affairs Michael Morgan said the role of the UW System is to create more graduates, more jobs and stronger communities in Wisconsin, and the state
should thus view the system as an investment rather than a cost. The Regent’s Capital Planning and Budget Committee also approved the creation of a new year-round practice facility for the UW-Madison women’s softball team adjacent to the team’s current field near the UW Hospital. The facility will cost $2.3 million, funded through gifts. The committee also approved the final phase of the Student Athlete Performance Center, which will renovate the McClain Center and Camp Randall Stadium. The third phase will cost about $33.3 million, also funded through gifts. The entire board will take a final vote on the projects Friday. —Anna Duffin
stephanie daher/the daily cardinal
In response to the violence at last year’s block party, Central District Police Captain Carl Gloede said police will be implementing new safety measures to minimize violence.
mifflin from page 1 to another area like a park or large parking lot where the attendants could be limited to UW-Madison students would improve safety. Despite regular discussion on safety at Mifflin, some are
concerned students are not considering the safety risks. UW-Madison freshman Alex Newell designed T-shirts displaying a bull’s-eye with the words “Stab Here,” which was based off of a friend’s idea referring to the two stabbings that occurred at last year’s event.
Gloede said the designs are disrespectful to those that were injured. “You don’t get stabbed and not have that change your life,” Gloede said. Newell agreed the shirt is insensitive and said it began as a joke.
arts Ari Herstand finds Midwestern muse 4
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012
By Meghan Chua The Daily Cardinal
When Ari Herstand took the call to interview with The Daily Cardinal, he had just stepped out of the vocal booth. The singer/songwriter from L.A. has been recording his newest album, currently unnamed, in Northfield, Minn., to add a Midwestern feel and match the energy and creativity the musicians Herstand is working with have brought. He says the new album is “honest” as well as “authentic” and will surprise long-time fans.
“These songs [on the new album] are much more honest than I’ve ever been.” Ari Herstand singer/songwriter
Herstand, born and raised in the region, hopes recording in Minnesota can help capture “that vibe and that energy of the Midwest.” A 100-year-old Minnesotan piano with “a very Minnesotan sound” was used in recording and he believes it will help add to this tone. Herstand is best known for his use of the loop station, which layers together live recordings of different instruments and vocals to create an entertaining solo performance with astonishingly full sound. “I got into looping to basically compensate for not having a band with me, but over the years the looping has kind of morphed into something pretty unique,” he said. Looping is the aspect of his music people tend to remember most, but Herstand doesn’t let it dominate his songwriting. In the studio and with the new album especially, Herstand has been working
with his producer “I do n’t Paul Marino and restrict myself musicians Dave when I sit down King (drums), to write a song Jake Hanson because it’s so (guitar) and Jim therapeutic for Anton (bass) in me,” Herstand what he calls an said. “Songs “exciting” proare a snapshot cess of recording of where I was with a band that when I wrote the creates a “very song.” live-sounding At the same album.” time, he faces The group an “internal doesn’t let itself battle” over the be constrained effect releasing by working only such a personal with a loop staalbum may have tion and Herstand on those whose said working with lives are drawn other artists brings into his songs a creativity to the through his lyrmusic beyond ics. what he initially “[It’s] someenvisioned. thing I’m still “My f ans struggling to figwho’ve been with ure out,” he said. me for a while “Because [are] going to be these deal with quite surprised, relationships I think, at this with people very new direction,” close to me, someHerstand said. times I am hesi“I’m really excittant [to release ed about it but it’s these songs on unlike anything an album],” I’ve done before.” Herstand said. Since 2005, “I don’t know when he released if it’s fair … to Baby Eyes, his put them in the first studio spotlight when album, Herstand they didn’t really has started his ask for it. They Photo courtesy ari herstand own music prodon’t necessarily duction company, Herstand is known for his instrumental looping technique but want their story Proud Honeybee also channels the emotion of past relationships in his songs. shared with Productions. everyone who’s Through his “Build the recognizes in his music. going to hear it.” Loop” project hosted on kick“These songs [on the new Herstand said most listenstarter.com, he raised over album] are much more honest ers will not know the specifics $13,000 from 222 backers to than I’ve ever been,” he said. behind these personal details fund his new album without The best songs that ended up “but the people that are closest the help of a record label. But on the album “are the ones that to me and to my close friends, even the tremendous growth in are the most personal” for him. they’ll know who I’m talking the business side of his musical This level of sincerity comes about,” he said. “That’s kind of career can be overshadowed by from the comfort Herstand more difficult.” the newfound depth Herstand finds in songwriting. Nevertheless, Herstand
plans on spending roughly half of Saturday night’s show performing songs from the new album.
“I dont restrict myself when I sit down to write a song because it’s so therapeutic for me.” Ari Herstand Singer/songwriter
Herstand plays at 9 p.m. Saturday, April 14 at the High Noon Saloon. He said he is excited to play at the venue, which he visited in 2006, as well as once with his high school band “way back in the day.” Although he has lived in L.A. for two years now, Herstand said he frequently finds his way back to the Midwest in touring. “I love playing in Madison,” he said. “This will be kind of one of the first opportunities I’m going to get to play these new songs.”
The Skinny Who: Ari Herstand with Anna Vogelzang and Dizzy Joan Where: High Noon Saloon 701 E. Washington Ave. When: Sat., April 14, show at 9 p.m. Cost: $8 in advance, $10 cover Why you should care: He’s been recording his forthcoming album in Minnesota to capture the charm of the Midwest. In addition to piano, Ari Herstand also incorporates guitar, trumpet, drum and bass into his performances.
Fictional narratives do not necessarily equal endorsement Sean Reichard your raison d’être
appy Friday, and a belated welcome back to school. Did you have a good Spring Break? Maybe you don’t remember; perhaps a week of school has already wheedled out any pleasant memory you might have had away from academia. On my part, I had a fairly relaxing Spring Break. I went to Chicago to see the Cubs on opening day, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, over break I read “The Sun Also Rises” by Ernest Hemingway, a book I had previously read in my sophomore year of high school. I wasn’t much impressed in high school but rereading it with fresh perspective was a whole new experience. It was pretty great and I picked up a lot more than I had previously,
but there was one point that discomfited me: some of the characters in “The Sun Also Rises” are virulently anti-Semitic. For a bit of context: “The Sun Also Rises” is narrated by Jake Barnes, an impotent man who takes a vacation to Spain with a few friends during fiesta season. Among the cabal is a man named Robert Cohn, who is almost always described as a Jew.
Some of the characters in “Sun Also Rises” are virulently anti-Semitic.
To make a long story short, the fact that he is Jewish seems to be his defining characteristic in the novel, more so than any other part of him. Hemingway certainly brings it up a lot, through Jake
and all his other friends. But Jake Barnes has another reason to dislike Cohn. In “The Sun Also Rises,” Cohn becomes the temporary paramour of Brett Ashley, Barnes’s romantic interest. Before that, Barnes was already a little disdainful of Cohn, but now he has every reason to hate him and join in on the Jew bashing. Nonetheless, this doesn’t change the fact that Barnes was deliberately using Cohn’s religion as a cudgel, whereas the real reason Barnes was mad actually had nothing to do with Cohn’s faith. Now the first thought that springs to mind (in this line of thinking) is “My God, does Hemingway hate Jews?” usually followed by “Does that mean I shouldn’t read Hemingway?” It’s a valid question. Because you shouldn’t hate Jewish people. You shouldn’t hate anybody. But it simply comes down to understanding the relationship between the author and
the work, especially if the work is told in the first person.
A first person narrative is a persona for the author, someon who may act differently and think differently.
First person narration affords a writer a lot of freedom story-wise because they’re not bound to the more objective third person. But there are also a lot of potential pitfalls, namely being accused of anti-Semitism, or sexism, racism, any really bad –ism for that matter. The trouble, of course, is just because an author has written something, it doesn’t mean what they wrote is a reflection of what they feel or what they believe. A first person narrator is a persona for the author, someone who may act differ-
ently and think differently. It’s too easy to think that a book like “The Sun Also Rises” is all about Hemingway because his name is on the cover, since the story is really being told by Jake Barnes. For all intents and purposes, Hemingway has stolen his story from this Jake Barnes fellow and passed it off as his own. Of course, this does not automatically mean every published novel or short story that professes negative commentary should be written off as divorced from the author’s viewpoint. This does not absolve Hemingway of any accusations of anti-Semitism (because let’s be honest, Hemingway probably hated a little bit of everything) but it does clarify how integral it is to separate an author from a first person narrator. Got your own thoughts on Hemingway’s narratives? Voice your praise or problems to Sean at firstname.lastname@example.org.
No Juice tonight... Jamba means fart in swahili Weekend, April 13-15 2012 • 5
By Caitlin Kirihara email@example.com
© Puzzles by Pappocom
By Dylan Moriarty EatinCake@gmail.com
Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.
Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.
By Patrick Remington firstname.lastname@example.org
Today’s Crossword Puzzle
Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com
THREE DELICIOUSKITTENS ACROSS 1 City in Tuscany 6 Weapon in 1940s headlines 11 Hangman line 14 Take apart, nautically 15 Hindu “Mr.” (Var.) 16 Humpback’s kin 17 KISS 20 Winslet of “Titanic” 21 Gray of face 22 ___ fro 23 The Manning with the most Super Bowl wins 24 Alternatives to pumpernickels 25 Repeat from memory 26 One of Bing Crosby’s labels 28 Arrival-board word 29 “Ben-Hur” author Wallace 30 “Low,” to “high” 34 “Cash” add-on 35 KISS 37 Summa ___ laude 38 Raises 39 Bon __ (witty remark) 40 Consumer Reports lacks them 41 “10 ___ or less”
(checkout line sign) 45 Hardly wellbehaved 47 Edit menu choice 50 Use a machete 51 Traffic tie-up 52 “Come here often?” e.g. 53 Apology from an Indian seamstress? 54 KISS 57 First lady 58 Disposable stuff 59 “Lather, ___, repeat” 60 Acted as guide 61 Deity with goat’s feet 62 Pear and apple, e.g. DOWN 1 Used a straw 2 Use ones lungs 3 Titillating 4 “Have a ___ day!” 5 Something to give it? 6 Badmouth 7 Ancient Roman gathering places 8 “... love, honor and ___” 9 “Because I said so” sayer 10 Baby slipper 11 Attacked violently 12 Go back in 13 Basement problem
1 8 ___ an egg (flop) 19 “1001 Nights” bird 24 “Atlas Shrugged” author 25 Afro-Cuban dance 27 Cool as a cucumber 28 “Coach” actor Jerry Van ___ 31 Adrian Monk’s wife on “Monk” 32 “Clumsy me!” 33 Big ATM maker 34 “Meet Me ___ Louis” 35 Extremely offended 36 Bone-dry 37 Be in cahoots 39 Clam’s cousin 40 Permits 42 “Seinfeld” lady 43 Exuding gloom 44 Backbones 46 Banquet dispenser 47 Grant’s bill 48 Derive by reasoning 49 Alumni newsletter word 52 Worst place in the standings 53 Affect emotionally 55 “Airplane Flying Handbook” org. 56 Old component of some TVs
By Nick Kryshak email@example.com
Scribbles n’ Bits
By Melanie Shibley firstname.lastname@example.org
Washington and the Bear
By Derek Sandberg email@example.com
opinion State GOP lacks transparency, honesty 6
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012
matthew curry opinion columnist
or the great majority of my life, I do not remember Wisconsin being the nationally funded political freefor-all it is now. Ever since the state Republican Party came to power the relative peace has fallen apart. My biggest issue with the state GOP is the total lack of transparency and truth. Remember when the Department of Administration, under Gov. Scott Walker, outright lied about damages caused by protesters? It was no accident the estimate was initially $7.5 million and then quietly brought back to real-
ity to a figure around $200,000 as of this month. This is an example of my own government knowingly providing false information to slander my, and many other fellow citizens’, character. The administration even tried to intimidate and bully my own professor William Cronon, who has contributed great knowledge to the university. Republicans filed Open Records requests in attempts to prove Cronon was promoting a political candidate with university resources. To treat him in such an antagonistic manner, a caring citizen and highly respected professor, is morally wrong. This type of behavior by elected representatives should never be tolerated. And their behavior was not, hence the massive protests last year that are continuing into this year. Instead of conceding some of
his egotism after the protests broke out, Walker did the most mature thing he could think of by again lying about his real intentions with the budget and curbing union rights with his belief that he is offering “tools” to schools and municipalities. He held this facade all the way throughout the initial protests and chaos. Had Gov. Walker simply been far more honest and forthcoming about his and the state GOP’s plans, maybe people wouldn’t find him so outrageously despicable. Instead, we were treated to videos of children getting ticketed for holding a small sign protesting Walker quietly. This is what I call a jack-booted thug. Albeit, a cowardly one. I say cowardly because it seems instead of being an adult and actually attempting
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to address the grievances of his own people, Walker chose to be insulting and inflammatory in his Fox News-only media appearances, which he seems to have plenty more time for than making a public address. He could at least try to make a speech without planting supporters in his State of the State address by having state troopers—who should not have even been at the Capitol—sneaking people in through backdoor parking structures.
My biggest issue with the state GOP is the total lack of transparency and truth.
On top of this, the state GOP even had the audacity to openly manipulate and hurt our electoral process by running fake Democratic challengers in the upcoming recall election. In fact, the state GOP disregards its own laws and electoral process so much it has done this for both the gubernatorial and senatorial recall primaries. I also find it striking that one of the first fake Democrats to run in a recall came from the notoriously conservative city, Muskego,
Wis. Following this, the GOP just happened to reward Muskego with an appearance by presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney. Last, but certainly not least, I must bring the downright disturbing and shocking statement made by Walker on tape last year. For those who do not know, Walker was asked by a liberal blogger, who hilariously got through Walker’s phone filters, whether or not he considered “planting troublemakers” within the protesters. To this, Walker, the elected leader of the state of Wisconsin, responded by saying “We’ve thought about it…” This is purely disgusting and anybody who excuses or supports this is equally despicable. With the quiet, cowardly repeal of the Equal Pay Enforcement Act of 2009, it’s obvious the state GOP has doubled down on its repulsive actions and intends on making their snake-like zeal a party anthem. I understand that different parties pursue different policies, but they should at least be open about their intentions. If the past year has taught us anything it is the national GOP needs to get out of Wisconsin and stop making the state its national testing ground. Matthew a junior majoring in political science and environmental studies. Please send all feedback to email@example.com.
Look beyond Buffett Rule to solve nation’s financial woes matt beaty opinion columnist
ext November’s elections will feature a fight for Sen. Herb Kohl’s, D-Wis., seat in the United State’s senate. The Democratic candidate will be Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., and one of the biggest names on the Republican side is Tommy Thompson, former four-term governor of Wisconsin. This election will help determine what party has control of the U.S. senate, but it is also a fight for the nation’s tax and deficit policy. Baldwin is a proponent of the “Buffett Rule,” which would require millionaires to pay at least 30 percent of their income to the federal government, or their “fair share” and lower the deficit. Thompson supports a 15 percent flat tax while giving many exemptions for families making under $100,000. He would also put a cap on government spending at 18.5 percent of gross domestic product. Depending on political ideology, either plan could be considered more fair. But a fair tax plan will not come from taking more from some Americans or having a single tax bracket. It will come from an overall simpler, more effective tax policy. The biggest problem with the current tax code is that it is confusing. It is riddled with loopholes that are mostly available to people and corporations
able to hire the best accountants and tax lawyers. If passed, the Buffett Rule, which bill takes on the egalitarian name “Pay a Fair Share Act,” will merely make millionaires pay more in hope to lower the deficit. It will do nothing to alleviate the costs the American public bears to comply with federal tax law. On average, it costs about $200 to have an accountant look at taxes at places like H&R Block and Jackson Hewitt. That is equivalent to five months of the average payroll tax cuts President Obama signed into law recently. The cost for corporations and families that have a more complex tax situation, like after an inheritance or starting a small business, is even higher. These are dollars that could go toward innovation, consumer purchases, investments or savings.
The biggest problem with the current tax code is that it is confusing.
This is not to say a 15 percent flat tax will solve the nation’s problems either. It will lead to less revenue, which is not ideal when the nation is $15 trillion in the hole. But it is simpler, which is better for individuals and families. There must be a compromise to create a tax code that will help reduce the deficit and make paying taxes easier. The Pay a Fair
Share Act could lead to a little more revenue, but definitely not enough to make up for the fourth straight year of trillion dollar budget deficit. According to the Treasury Department, it will raise $5 billion a year. The flat tax will do even less to help the federal deficit. The government’s two largest revenue drains are Medicare and Social Security. Even if more revenues are collected, Medicare growth is projected to be 31 percent of the GDP by 2082 by the National Research Council 2010 workshop. Social Security liabilities will grow as more people get in on the system and life expectancies grow with improved health care. Without reforms to the two largest, most protected social programs, any tax reform is useless. When it comes to the tax system, a few things must change. The tax code doesn’t need a bandage fix, like the Buffett Rule. It needs a major overhaul. There needs to be fewer deductions and loopholes. People and corporations should not be able to write off as much from their tax liability. Republicans promote this idea, but are reluctant to speak of specifics, while Democrats are only willing to talk about cuts to oil and gas company loopholes. Deductions are meant to promote specific activities like charitable giving or home ownership, but they typically end up helping those connected to the government. Paying taxes should also be easier. Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., proposes a simple two-tiered sys-
tem with families making less than $100,000 paying 10 percent in federal taxes and everyone else paying 25 percent. A decent compromise with the Buffett Rule could be to add a third tier for those making over $1,000,00 to pay 28.5 percent, a mid-point between 25 and 30. This system would be simple for all, and it would make the millionaires pay more, hopefully raising more revenue than Ryan’s initial plan. With fewer deductions, it would be far simpler for individuals and companies to file their taxes, saving on time and money to comply with the Internal Revenue Service. A simpler tax system will make American lives easier, as well as making them less
fearful of an IRS audit. But to make a dent in the deficit, any new tax rules must go along with fewer deductions, less government spending—especially on foreign wars—and major reforms to the nation’s largest entitlement services, Medicare and Social Security. The IRS and the tax code is a behemoth that needs to be fixed. And when it comes to the two major proposed changes, the Buffett Rule and a flat tax, there could be a middle ground that helps all Americans. It’s just not out there yet. Matt Beaty is a junior majoring in math and computer science. Please send all feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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illinois from page 8 team,” Healy said. “They have really played a tough schedule.” In their last Big Ten series, Illinois was swept by Nebraska, who many expect to be in the thick of the conference title race. Over three games in Lincoln the Fighting Illini were outscored 20-2 by the Cornhuskers. “The way the Big Ten is set up some teams begin with a harder schedule and Illinois has faced some quality opponents,” Healey said. “It’s going to be a battle at their place, they are a quality club.”
again to keep Illinois’s explosive offense at bay. “Staying focused and not dwelling on a mistake when something goes wrong has been a big part of things,” Darrah said. Whoever pitches for the Badgers can expect to run into an Illinois lineup that features senior infielder Meredith Hackett. Through 34 games the senior leads the Fighting Illini with 21 runs batted in and seven home runs. “Hackett is our main focus, she has the most homeruns on their team,” Darrah said. “We are going to be looking out for their whole lineup though,
Illinois is a great hitting team.” Offensively for Wisconsin, senior first baseman Karla Powell and freshmen outfielder Marissa Mersch will be expected to fill in in key spots for Wisconsin, as both will be finding their way into the lineup this weekend. The heart of the offense lies with sophomore shortstop Stephanie Peace, whose all-around solid offensive play has ignited the Badger offense. “Illinois is a great team, they are going to come out firing and will be hitting both sides of the plate,” Peace said. “We just have to come out and take care of business this weekend.”
“It’s definitely a club effort right now.”
Yvette Healy head coach Wisconsin softball
On the mound Badger fans can expect to see a pitching by committee approach to the upcoming series. Sophomore right-hander Amanda Najdek, junior lefty Meghan McIntosh and sophomore right-hander Cassandra Darrah will be pitching this weekend against Illinois. “Darrah has been throwing well, but on Tuesday in the West Illinois game everyone had to get in to get the win,” Healy said. “It is definitely a club effort right now.” Darrah has been the difference-maker on the pitching staff this season as her 2.46 ERA and 14-6 record lead the team. In the Iowa series, Darrah started all three games and may be expected to do so
Mark Kauzlarich/the daily cardinal
Stephanie Peace has been one of the Badgers’ best hitters this season, batting .313 and slugging .495 in 34 games.
Weekend sports calendar: April 13-15 Friday Women’s tennis vs. Purdue - 2:30 p.m.
Men’s tennis @Purdue - 11:00 a.m.
Women’s tennis vs. Indiana - 11 a.m.
Men’s soccer vs. Louisville - 1 p.m.
Men’s tennis @Indiana - 11 a.m.
Softball @Illinois - 4 p.m.
Softball @Illinois - 1 p.m.
Men’s golf H aw keye -Tay l o r M a d e Invitational Day 1
Men’s golf Hawkeye-TaylorMade Invitational Day 2
Weekend, April 13-15, 2012
Major League Baseball has yet to strike true competitive balance Parker Gabriel parks and rec
ight about the beginning of spring training, Hal Steinbrenner, the ruler of all goings on in the Evil Empire made a shocking announcement. By 2014, the Yankees are going to attempt to cut their payroll. All the way down to $189 million. Hopefully they’ve got some savvy front-office folk, some Billy Beane types maybe, who can help the Bronx Bombers field a competitive team on a paltry $7.6 million per 25-man roster spot. Normally, as a fan of the socalled small-market Milwaukee Brewers, this sort of thing prompts an eye-roll and a scarcastic, “wow, that must really be rough.” It still sort of does. After all, according to the March 2 ESPN story about Steinbrenner and the payrollslashing, the Yanks have paid out over 90 percent of all the luxury taxes paid in baseball since the system was put in place in 2003. But these aren’t your baseball commissioner’s Brewers. Gone are the days of Wendy Selig-Preib’s $27.4 million dollar rosters. That was 2004 and the Brewers finished 67-94. But hey, Lyle Overbay led the National League with 53 doubles. Left fielder Geoff Jenkins made just under $9 million that year and a grand total of five guys made seven figures. This year, the Brewers are going to top $100 million in payroll. No, that’s not an error. Yes, that’s a lot of coin. Principal owner Mark Attanasio has steadily grown the budget as he’s developed the on and off-field product in the Cream City. The team started 2011 with a payroll of $88.4 million, made a deep run into the playoffs, and even late in the season both Attanasio and general manager Doug Melvin admitted that it would be a stretch for the franchise to finish in the black. This year, even without retaining the services of one burly first baseman, the payroll jumped up again. At least 16 players on the Brewers roster will make over a million as a base salary this year, with both second baseman Rickie Weeks and starting pitcher Zack Greinke making over 10 million. That doesn’t even consider the fact that all star left fielder Ryan Braun (who will make about $7 million this year) signed a 10-year deal last year for a grand total of $150 million. MLB commissioner Bud Selig, whose family used to own the Brewers, was on campus Tuesday and said he thought the competitive balance in the game today is as good as it’s ever been. I would agree to a certain extent, but lately, aside from the Tampa Bay Rays and their brilliant GM Andrew Friedman, small market teams haven’t won by
acting like small market teams. At least not consistently, not year in and year out. In order for the Twins to stay competitive, they felt compelled to give Joe Mauer $184 million prior to the 2010 season. Staying competitive isn’t likely to be in the vocabulary of many Twins fans this year, as they’re off to a terrible start and are undermanned at multiple positions. The newly-minted Miami Marlins spent over $160 million on shortstop Jose Reyes and starting pitcher Mark Buehrle just this offseason. The Marlins, back when they were of the “Florida” variety, managed to scrape together competitive seasons even when fire sale after offseason fire sale kept the total team salary cap under $30 million some years. Payrolls all around baseball are higher than ever, a USA Today list has the San Diego Padres with the lowest number at $55.2 million. That’s going to happen with league-wide popularity and with teams like the Astros, who play in a big market but haven’t been competitive for a couple years, are the worst teams as opposed to teams like the Marlins and Brewers.
Small market teams haven’t won by acting like small market teams.
However, it’s still a stretch to say that baseball has found true competitive balance. The Brewers set attendance records last season. They got five extra home games in the playoffs, postseason merchandise sales, the “Beast Mode” mania making the team probably as marketable as its ever been and the fever that comes with a oncein-three-decades division title. Attanasio still stretched his wallet. He’s doing the same this year because he wants to win. It wouldn’t be greedy for an owner to refuse to spend more money than he or she can realistically expect to bring in. Attanasio dealt with this very issue last offseason. When asked if Prince Fielder was out of the Brewers’ price range, the slugger’s super-agent Scott Boras essentially said Attanasio could open his wallet if he wanted to. True enough, the dude has made a ridiculous amount of money in the financial world. Just not enough to justify spending $224 million on Fielder when he was already looking at nine figures for the rest of his team. The Brewers and the Marlins will be competitive this year. I’m just not sure balance has anything to do with it. What is your view on baseball’s financial landscape? Can “small market” teams win without spending upwards of $100 million on payroll? Shoot Parker an e-mail at email@example.com with your thoughts.
Weekend april 13-15, 2012 DailyCardinal.com
Illinois up next for UW Surging Badgers carry eight-game win streak on the road By Peter Geppert The Daily Cardinal
Stickers are a big deal for the Wisconsin softball team (6-3 Big Ten, 22-12 overall), as the coaching staff will often give out stickers to players for great individual and team performances. Over the course of a schoolrecord-tying eight-game win streak, head coach Yvette Healy and the rest of the Badger softball coaches have had plenty to reward. “It’s been fun to see them fight,” Healy said. “They enjoy playing with each other, and they feed off each other’s energy.” This year’s team has been scrappier than most prior Badger softball teams. Comeback wins against Minnesota and Western Illinois in extra innings have sustained the team’s momentum and catapulted the team into contention for its first NCAA tournament berth since 2005. “The team really plays better when they keep it loose and are encouraging each other,” Healy said. “It really shows us as coaches the kind of mood the team has.” With all the success that the Badgers have had in the last week, they will be running up against an Illinois squad (2-7,
16-18) that has been trending the opposite way. The Fighting Illini have dropped nine of their last ten contests, and have gotten off to a much slower start in the Big
Ten than most predicted. “Illinois is a great program, they have always had a very offensive
illinois page 7
Mark Kauzlarich/the daily cardinal
Cassandra Darrah has been Wisconsin’s work horse on the mound this season, starting 20 games and boasting a 2.46 ERA.
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