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from literature to #twitterature University of Wisconsin-Madison

Queen of the ice: +ARTS, page 4

Brianna Decker is in the running to win the coveted Patty Kazmaier award

+ SPORTS, page 8

Complete campus coverage since 1892


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

‘KONY’ viral video impacts campus branch By Sam Morgan The Daily Cardinal

As controversy over the “KONY 2012” viral video continues, the founder of UW-Madison’s Invisible Children chapter said Tuesday that criticism aimed at the group at large should not be attributed to the local branch. The national non-profit organization released an online video last week to raise awareness of African warlord Joseph Kony, whose “Lord’s Resistance Army” kidnapped children and forced them to fight against the Ugandan government. The video spread quickly through Facebook and Twitter, and has since garnered over 75 million views. But the video’s tactics, as well as Invisible Children’s financing and factuality, soon came under attack, including criticism from human

rights activists who question the group’s support for military intervention and for the Ugandan government, that is also accused of human rights violations. Others criticize Invisible Children for sending only 37 percent of its donations directly to Central African relief programs. Because the rest is spent on travel expenses, staff salaries and video production, critics allege the nonprofit group has been deceiving donors who think their money goes directly to Africa. But Marissa Mora, founder of UW-Madison’s Invisible Children group, said all money donated to her chapter goes directly to Central Africa. According to Mora, last semester’s donations went to the

kony page 3

Stephanie Daher/the daily cardinal

Democrats delayed a vote on a bill co-authored by Sen. Frank Lasee, R-De Pere, that would alter landlord-tenant relations.

Senate Dems. delay tenant bill vote By Adam Wollner The Daily Cardinal

State Senate Democrats delayed a final vote on a bill Tuesday that limits certain restrictions local governments can place on landlords and alters relations between landlords and student renters in Madison. The bill would allow landlords to deny housing to potential renters based on conviction records, credit and employment history, and income level. Among other provisions, landlords could also show a property at any point during the lease, rather than during a designated viewing period, and charge more than a month’s rent for a security deposit. Democrats attempted to add sev-

eral amendments to the bill, such as allowing tenants more time to move out if evicted and preventing police from evicting tenants on observed holidays. However, Republicans rejected every amendment. On the Senate floor, state Sen. Chris Larson, D-Milwaukee, called the legislation “the anti-tenant bill” because it strips away provisions that protect those who are at a disadvantage when dealing with landlords, especially students. “Anybody that has a college in or near their district should think very clearly about what this bill does,” Larson said. “It really stacks the bill against tenants, against particularly students,

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On Campus

On A meeting held by a planning group for the Mifflin Street Block Party to gain student feedback on changes to the upcoming event saw a low student turnout Tuesday. + Photo by Wil Gibb

Potential recalls may be delayed The Government Accountability Board will finish certifying recall petitions against Gov. Scott Walker, Lieutenant Gov. Rebecca Kleefisch and four state senators by Friday, March 30, according to a request for a second extension filed with the Dane County Circuit Court Tuesday. In the formal request, the GAB concluded it would not have reviewed enough of the petitions by the March 19 deadline to rule on the necessity of recall elections. Extending the deadline back to March 30 would push the primary elections to May 8 and the general recall elections to June 5.

The GAB’s proposed March 30 deadline extension was determined in conjunctions with both the recall-organizing committees and recall-targeted politicians. While all petitions have been filed, the GAB has not yet started checking for duplicate signatures, and does not believe it will have checked for enough to make a decision about recall elections unless given more time for review. Additionally, the request pointed out problems with potential elections following the March 19 deadline. According to state laws, recall elections must be held on the

Tuesday six weeks following the board’s ruling. If a ruling was made on March 19, the general recall elections would be held the Tuesday following Memorial Day, presenting problems for preparations, many of which are completed in the days immediately preceding the election date. The federal holiday would give municipal clerks “significant difficulties, if not impossibilities” in adequately preparing for elections, according to the GAB. Judge Richard Niess will consider the request at a Wednesday hearing. —Ben Siegel

No abortion coverage from federal healthcare By Alison Bauter The Daily Cardinal

The Assembly passed a bill prohibiting the coverage of abortion under the federal healthcare law in Wisconsin following heated debate Tuesday. Bolstered by a Planned Parenthood-sponsored rally that drew hundreds Tuesday morning, many democratic representatives wore pink shirts as they argued fiercely against a Republicanbacked bill they said infringed on private healthcare decisions. Republicans strongly defended their bill, which they said prevents taxpayer dollars from funding abortions through President Obama’s federal healthcare law, or “Patient Protection and Affordable Healthcare Act.”

“Do the people of Wisconsin approve of the possibility of their tax dollars being used to kill babies?” asked Rep. Chris Kapenga, R-Delafield, adding he wished the bill went further and fully banned abortion. Democrats countered that the bill oversteps Republicans’ policy of minimum government intervention. “Don’t impose your own personal beliefs on me and my family,” said Rep. Chris Taylor, D-Madison. Taylor argued not having insurance when a woman feels she must seek an abortion “can make or break a family financially.” She also proposed amendments to mandate, rather than simply allow, insurance providers

to cover abortions in cases of rape, incest or when the mother’s life would be endangered by continuing her pregnancy. “I can’t understand this impulse… to control women’s bodies, to control women’s lives,” said Rep. Kelda Roys, D-Madison. “This bill will endanger the health and the autonomy of women… for the most base of political reasons.” Although Democrats, including Roys, disparaged the bill as an extension of the “national war on women,” self-identified prolife legislator Rep. Joan Ballweg, R-Markesan, disagreed, calling for civil discourse between the two sides. “It’s not a war,” Ballweg said. “It’s what we believe whole-heartedly.”

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

page two Little Shapiro, Big World tODAY: fuckin’ glorious hi 76º / lo 58º



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Thursday: partly sunny hi 70º / lo 45º

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 122, Issue 38

2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100

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Business and Advertising Business Manager Parker Gabriel Advertising Manager Nick Bruno Account Executives Dennis Lee • Philip Aciman Emily Rosenbaum • Joy Shin Sherry Xu • Alexa Buckingham Tze Min Lim Web Director Eric Harris Public Relations Manager Becky Tucci Events Manager Bill Clifford Creative Director Claire Silverstein Office Managers Mike Jasinski • Dave Mendelsohn Copywriters Dustin Bui • Bob Sixsmith The Daily Cardinal is a nonprofit organization run by its staff members and elected editors. It receives no funds from the university. Operating revenue is generated from advertising and subscription sales. The Daily Cardinal is published weekdays and distributed at the University of WisconsinMadison and its surrounding community with a circulation of 10,000. Capital Newspapers, Inc. is the Cardinal’s printer. The Daily Cardinal is printed on recycled paper. The Cardinal is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press and the Wisconsin Newspaper Association. All copy, photographs and graphics appearing in The Daily Cardinal are the sole property of the Cardinal and may not be reproduced without written permission of the editor in chief. The Daily Cardinal accepts advertising representing a wide range of views. This acceptance does not imply agreement with the views expressed. The Cardinal reserves the right to reject advertisements judged offensive based on imagery, wording or both. Complaints: News and editorial complaints should be presented to the editor in chief. Business and advertising complaints should be presented to the business manager. Letters Policy: Letters must be word processed and must include contact information. No anonymous letters will be printed. All letters to the editor will be printed at the discretion of The Daily Cardinal. Letters may be sent to opinion@

Editorial Board Matt Beaty • Nick Fritz Kayla Johnson • Jacqueline O’Reilly Steven Rosenbaum • Nico Savidge Ariel Shapiro • Samantha Witthuhn

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Israel-bound Ariel reluctantly get tested for syphilis Ariel Shapiro little shapiro


couple of weeks ago, my doctor gave me a bit of uncomfortable news. I had previously given her a medical form for my study abroad application to Haifa, Israel, and assumed everything would be taken care of. Not so. Apparently, my doctor told me, the form required a syphilis test, something not routinely done in the United States. As such, I would have to procure a syphilis-test appointment myself. Also, my application was due in a week. Shit. Now, let me preface this column with what I have had to explain to a half-dozen medical professionals, my mother and the study abroad office. Despite any preconceived notions you may have of me, I am not a 19th-century prostitute, and do not suspect under any circumstances I have syphilis. At the behest of my roommate, the first place I turned was forward-thinking, openminded Planned Parenthood. Of course! PP is super chill, and is an organization I support. Hell, I have rallied for the group and their services! If any place could help me out, Planned Parenthood would be the one, right? But if I have learned anything in my time reporting

on and working in politics, it is that every organization, even the best ones, has that one asshole. Dear readers, in my search for a syphilis test, I found PP’s asshole. I do not know her name, but let us call her Olivia because I have never met an Olivia I have liked. OLIVIA: Planned Parenthood. ARIEL: Hi, my name is Ariel Shapiro, and I know this is going to sound kind of strange. I’m a UW-Madison student, and I need a syphilis test for my study abroad application— OLIVIA: Um, what? ARIEL: No, no, no. It is just a requirement for this study abroad application. I do not

actually think I have syphilis. OLIVIA: (Clearly disgusted, sounding something like Regina George) Well are you experiencing symptoms? ARIEL: No. I do not have symptoms. I do not have syphilis. This is just some paperwork I need to get done. I just need a blood test to confirm I do not have syphilis so I can study abroad in Israel. OLIVIA: Well, we don’t do that sort of thing here. Bye. (Hang up). After that completely humiliating exchange, I went on to call University Health Services where I had to explain this situation to about five other people. They were nicer about it, but still sounded deeply concerned about

Graphic by dylan Moriarty

my well-being and sexual health. As for the study abroad office, they sounded like they were used to this sort of thing, so I easily got an extension. Apparently, a syphilis test serves the same function as getting your period in high school gym: no questions, no problems. When all the insurance crap was settled, I could finally get tested. Hooray! Because if there is one thing I hate more than having to explain this whole syph situation to strangers, it is getting my blood taken. Luckily, I got to do both at the same time. To the nice woman at UHS who did my blood work, I apologize for being such a bitch. I was in between classes, my doctor’s office did not have that fax number you needed posted online and I really just cannot deal with needles. So when this jolly lady asked me if I was getting an VDSLR, the non-embarrassing way of saying a freaking syph test, and I preemptively yelled, “I DON’T HAVE SYPHILIS, ALRIGHT?” I was just very, very cranky. She then threw me a stuffed animal version of the syphilis germ to make me feel better. It did not. With my results due back in a week, I am only seven days away from the end of this strange tango with syphilis. I still struggle to understand why I needed this test to study abroad, and in particular to go to Israel. My mom says it is because they do not want us wily New York Jewish girls soiling their nice IDF soldiers. Or maybe they just think we are a bunch of 19th-century prostitutes. With Little Shapiro, Big World, Ariel looks to explore unfamiliar, uncomfortable facets of UW-Madison life. Have an idea for her? Send it to

Emily weighs being depressed vs. being aware Emily Lindeman lin-da-mania


ne day, while trying to avoid doing my homework, I thought it would be a good idea to be a better citizen of these United States by paying more attention to the news. Instead of just watching the celebrity interviews on “Good Morning America” or getting the days headlines from “Live! with Kelly,” I was going to seek out quality, informative news content. Figuring the best way to do this was by setting a better homepage on my browser, I actually Googled “What is a good news website?” It would seem my search engine techniques need improvement, because a website came up that offered only positive news stories. While this is a lovely idea (especially since I call the local news “the bad news”), I did not think it would give me the most realistic outlook on the world. People I want to impress would be talking about the IranIsraeli conflict, but all I would have to contribute to the discussion was news of a dolphin saved

by a nearby surfer; an uncomfortable situation to say the least. What’s more, if you wanted to read any of this positive website’s articles, you need a paid subscription. So only the bad news is free? No, thank you. Anyway, while I realize being informed is extremely important to me seeing as I like to have a say in “adult” conversations—and having a strong, informed opinion is the only way to do that—it is rather difficult. It is next to impossible to take in so much information, all while assessing whether a source is bias or even credible. Our generation tends to believe that anything put in front of our faces is straight-up fact, and that is a hard habit to break. Take, for example, last week’s web-wide frenzy of Kony 2012. Although a select few Facebook users and tweeters posted negative commentary on the integrity of Invisible Children’s mission and monetary transparency, many more just followed the trend, tweeting and posting statuses left and right. While this trending phenomenon was amazing and inspiring, I wanted to know what I was talking about before I offered up my opinion to the world. I did not know which side of the Kony-

credibility debate to go with, so I attempted to do my own research. After an hour of web surfing, I still had not made up my mind. Instead of forming an opinion, I grew more confused and more aware of how complicated and sucky the world can be. That good news website was starting to sound pretty good again.

Do I subject myself to bad news for the sake of being informed, or should I stick to getting my news from Facebook and Steven Colbert as my peers do? Beyond the Kony 2012 example, it is worth noting that ignorance is, in fact, bliss. As soon as I try to wrap my head around the multitude of both national and international news stories, I feel like I am being swallowed up in huge, awful awareness. One thing I know for sure about myself is that I am the kind of person who always tries to think of solu-

tions for small, personal problems, even if other people do not see why something is an issue in need of fixing. On a larger scale, I used to watch the news with my mom and always say, “Why don’t they just [fill in the blank with overly optimistic, unrealistic solution]?” In one newscast I single-handedly solved the Iraq War, the Housing Crisis of 2008 and the immigration debate. Piece of cake. So being the “pro-change” person that I am, I feel pretty sucky when I read the news and know with my whole heart that I can never and will never be educated enough to understand, much less solve, these serious issues. But now the question is: Do I subject myself to bad news for the sake of being informed, or should I stick to getting my news from Facebook and Steven Colbert as my peers do? Regardless, I just hope someone gifts me a subscription to for my birthday this year, because frankly people, this world is a ridiculous, chaotic place, and I need to know the next time a dolphin gets saved. Willing to improve Emily’s mood with a subscription to the Good News Network E-mail Emily at and let her know.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012 3


Class connects with, ‘savors’ South Side By Mallory Ramp The Daily Cardinal

On campus

Strikes to spare

UW students came together at The Sett at Union South Tuesday to take advantage of free bowling sponsored by The Towers on State apartments. + Photo by Grey Satterfield

Scammers in Peru impersonate student A relative of a UW-Madison student wired $4,000 to Peru after a caller impersonating the student said she needed money to be bailed out of jail. On Feb. 27, an uncle of a UW-Madison student received a panicked phone call from someone impersonating his 22-year-old niece who said she was arrested after getting into a car with a man in possession of narcotics, according to Madison Police Department spokesperson Joel DeSpain. DeSpain said “Michael Obozner,” a man claiming to be her lawyer, then asked the

student’s uncle to send $2,225 via Western Union for his niece’s bail. Shortly after the student’s uncle received a second call from “Michael Williams” who claimed to be an associate of Obozner at the U.S. Embassy in Lima, according to police. Williams said the man’s niece required another $1,985 to pay a fine. Police said the uncle promptly wired the money to Lima, but contacted a friend with connections to see whether or not Obozner and Williams truly worked for the embassy in Lima. After discovering that nei-

ther name was connected to the embassy, the uncle called the MPD, who advised him to file a fraud report with the FBI. UW-Madison Communications spokesperson John Lucas said while the student had previously studied abroad, she was not in Peru when the scammers called her uncle. Lucas said the university will investigate to see if the student’s personal information was compromised and will educate students on the dangers of scams while studying abroad. —Brett Bachman

In its second semester on campus, a service learning course is integrating the marketing skills of UW students and faculty with the expansive culinary options of South Madison to alter students’ perceptions about the area. Professor Young Mie Kim, who teaches the School of Journalism course, seeks to dispel misconceptions about South Madison and make students more aware of what this ethnically rich sector of the city has to offer, primarily by using social media. “People not living in South Madison have a misperception of that area like it’s dangerous with high crimes and very poor, but those are exaggerated,” Kim said. According to Kim, the solution to this misconception is through the eyes and stomachs of UW students. “Food is a great place to bridge people with many different backgrounds,” Kim said. Students in this semester’s section of Journalism 676 are expanding on work from the previous semester’s class, who

first launched the “Savor South Madison” campaign. The campaign website promotes ethnic restaurants, markets and grocery stores on the South Side. Through the collaborative efforts of South Madison business owners and UW students, the campaign has “become a hub for other non-profit organizations with similar goals,” said Kim. The community service learning course gives students a “hands-on” outreach opportunity by spending time in the metropolitan area with employees and business owners, according to current J676 student Andria Casey. Through social media sites, “Savor South Madison” is gaining support on the UW campus. Yet, Casey said they are still working through some challenges. Among them, the class currently faces questions about the extent to which South Madison residents have access to social media and networking sites. “We are trying to create ways offline to develop bonding in the metropolitan community,” Casey said.

B-cycle will offer UW-Madison discount Madison’s bike sharing program will lower its daily fee and offer a UW-Madison student discount when it returns from its winter hiatus April 1. Through a partnership with UW Transportation, B-cycle will offer an annual membership for a discount price of $20, as opposed to the normal $65, to UW students, faculty and staff, accord-

ing to Trek Bicycle Director of Communications Eric Bjorling. The program will also offer a reduced $5 bike rental fee, but will remove the week-long membership pass, according to Bjorling. B-cycle renting locations near campus include Memorial Union, Union South, University and Charter streets, and North Park and Spring streets.

Special session for mining bill a possibility, Walker says By Ben Siegel The Daily Cardinal

Despite the withdrawal of a $1.5 billion northern Wisconsin iron mine proposal after Democrats in the state Senate blocked a mining reform a week ago, Gov. Scott Walker vowed he would “not give up” on mining in Wisconsin in a Tuesday morning radio show appearance. The governor began his hour-long interview on WTMJ’s “Insight 2012 with Charlie Sykes” Tuesday morning by claiming senate Democrats sacrificed potential mining jobs to deny Republicans an economy-boosting measure ahead of recall elections. “This was raw politics,” Walker said. “People were misled … into thinking…[Democrats] really wanted a mine.” Among other changes to cur-

senate from page 1 who usually are not the most informed about when they enter into a tenant agreement.” Additionally, Sen. Mark Miller, D-Monona, a former landlord, said the bill does not allow for a significant punishment of landlords who break the law. Currently, tenants are freed from their leases if their landlords add provisions that are found to be illegal. Under the new bill, tenants

rent mining law, the bill would streamline the mining permit application process by lifting some environmental protection laws on mining sites. While Democrats favored the potential jobs the mine would have created, they blocked the bill because they worried it contained excessive environmental deregulation. This run-around, according to Walker, sent the wrong signals to mining company Gogebic Taconite, who withdrew their proposal to create the mine last week. “If you’re the mining company, they’ve [seen] compromise after compromise after compromise,” Walker said. “There’s not a mining company out there in the world that will come into this state…unless the Senate reverses its course, and I hope enough

people in the Senate wake up to that realization.” Walker also expressed his willingness to extend conversations on mining reform at the Capitol with a special session. “I’ll call a special session, but I’m not doing it for people to do a dog-and-pony show,” Walker said. “I’m doing it if there [are] jobs on the table.” Sen. Rich Zipperer, R-Pewaukee, scheduled a public hearing Tuesday for both the mining bill and its proposed amendments. The meeting will be held on Monday, March 19. Gogebic Taconite and Arrowhead Strategies, LLC, their Wisconsin government relations representatives, did not respond to calls made after regular business hours by the time of publication.

would still be legally bound to their leases, and landlords would only be required to remove the illegal provisions. “It opens the door to those businesspeople who would be tempted to rip off their…tenants because they can get away with it and the consequences are minimal,” Miller said. State Sen. Frank Lasee, R-De Pere, the author of the bill, has argued the legislation would allow landlords to conduct background checks to screen for potentially troublesome tenants.

“This bill stops a local government from taking away a landlord’s ability to screen problem tenants – those that don’t pay their bills, that have criminal records or are harmful to their neighbors,” Lasee said in a statement last summer. “Good renters end up paying more or having to move when a bad tenant moves in. This bill will help put an end to these problems for both landlords and good renters.” The Senate will likely take up the bill again tomorrow.

Image courtesy of

Since the debut of Invisible Children’s ‘KONY 2012’ video, UW’s campus branch has received over 80 e-mails of interest.

kony from page 1 “Protection Plan,” a program to fund construction on a center that helps Ugandan victims of civil strife, and to help construct radio towers, which aid in communication and warn Ugandan townspeople of impending attacks. Although she said the national Invisible Children site clearly identifies the group’s goals, Mora acknowledged that those giving money through individual branch sites like UW-Madison could be confused about where the donations ultimately go. Overall, Mora attributes controversy over the “Kony 2012” video to misunderstanding. “There is a lot of misinformation that people are getting,” Mora said. “All the [Invisible Children] financial statements are online. It

tells you it is an organization that raises awareness and improves infrastructure.” Mora, whose chapter raised more than $12,000 during the 2011 fall semester, said those who only recently became aware of Invisible Children mistakenly think it is a new group, even though it has been advocating against LRA exploitation of child soldiers for over a decade. Despite ongoing criticism, the viral video apparently succeeded in raising awareness of the group. Within days of the video’s release, Mora said UW-Madison’s Invisible Children chapter received 80 e-mails from students hoping to get involved, and one seeking to give money. “A week ago today, 100 million people didn’t know about the organization,” Mora said.

arts There’s no spoilin’ SXSW ‘twitterature’ 4


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

David Cottrell Co-ttrell it on the mountain


still vividly remember going to see “Super Bad” back in my senior year of high school with my friends who were kind enough to chauffeur me to an opening-night screening in the wake of my wisdomteeth removal. For weeks leading up to the release, I must have watched the unrated “redband” trailer on YouTube over a dozen times and was bombarded with the abbreviated television-ad even more frequently. When I finally got to see the flick, I obviously laughed my ass off (the pain killers from my surgery the day before made sure of that). However, I couldn’t help but feel like I would have enjoyed the movie significantly more if I had gone into it without seeing its best jokes excerpted and played out of context, over and over. I knew what to expect. I was perpetually waiting for the punch lines and the memorable plot points I knew were coming, trying to place them into the narrative still unfolding. Trying to connect the dots like that when you go in with so much information about a movie feels subconscious and inevitable. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t forget what I already know about a movie. And as a result, it often seems as if my perspective is inescapably clouded. That’s one of the things I love most about film festival screenings. Despite their often uncomfortable venues, they offer certain fantastic features that you just can’t get anywhere else—

accessible Q&A sessions with the director, writer and/or the cast; opportunities to see films that will not see mainstream distribution for a year, longer or maybe not at all. And perhaps the most under-appreciated benefit provided by the festival setting: the chance to see films without knowing literally anything about them going in. Especially with festivals like South by Southwest and Sundance that happen earlier in the year, when most films have not been seen anywhere else. Often, the only information offered to audiences is a vague, single-line description that is notoriously regularly unrepresentative of the actual move you’ll be seeing.

There is no truer suspense, no purer intrigue, than that of the truly unknown.

As I write this, I’m in the process of sojourning down to Austin, Texas, for the first day of the SXSW Film Festival. I’ll be seeing a plethora of indie movies lacking any and all preconceived notions about them, and will surely enjoy them all the more for it. But in the real world, it isn’t entirely impossible to dodge spoilers about such indie flicks, as they largely don’t advertise, so you likely won’t be subjected to any information you don’t seek out yourself. However, big-budget Hollywood movies are another matter entirely. With the endless cavalcade of ads plastered all over TV and the Internet,

spoilers are almost inevitable without dedicating yourself to life as a reclusive hermit, living under that rock somewhere everyone likes to talk about. That’s where SXSW offers an interesting opportunity every year with their Super Secret Screening. Each iteration of SXSW features at least one of these screenings, usually a highly anticipated Hollywood release hitting theaters in the near future. This year, rumored identities of the secret flick have ranged from Joss Whedon’s “The Avengers,” to “The Hunger Games,” or even Ridley Scott’s eagerly anticipated Alien-prequel out this summer “Prometheus.” However, viewers can never know quite what to expect, considering that last year’s screening was widely expected to be the upcoming Marvel superhero film “Thor,” and ended up revealing the low-budget indie sci-fi flick “Another Earth,” featuring the multi-talented writer/ actress Brit Marling. The lovely film certainly won over my devotion last year at Sundance, and gauging by Twitter reactions, it did the same to surprised audiences at SXSW. It may seem like a herculean task to escape the onslaught of ads, trailers, reviews, summaries, descriptions and previews for movies these days, but if one somehow manages to, the cinematic experience is unrivaled. There is no truer suspense, no purer intrigue, than of the truly unknown. So do yourself a favor: Next time you’re about to watch the trailer for a movie your friend wants to go see, stop yourself and just go with it. Have any movies you want to spoil for David? Send your previews to him at

, out Austin e p o c s e Jaim st Riley and to expect for the re t share wha at SXSW k of the wee


ith Bob Dylan and SBTRKT blaring (yes, we are an eclectic bunch) we set off for the 20-hour long trek to Austin, Texas, for South By Southwest. Despite the regular ups and downs of a college road trip—speeding ticket and cat-infested-couchsurfer-lodging included—we arrived successfully and began navigating the streets of Austin and the complexities of the festival itself. There is a hierarchy of access at SXSW: the badge-holders at the top of the food chain, the wristband holders in the middle and the brave wandering souls that try their luck at getting in after the former two groups. Shows are dispersed throughout the entire city in locations as small as local dive bars to ones as large as a warehouse or convention center. The streets are overrun with the most in-touch-with-culture people we have ever seen, dictating the music, fashion and fads of tomorrow. It looks a lot like an episode of “Portlandia” but with a higher humidity. The center of the action lies around Sixth Street, which is a combination of our beloved State Street and New Orleans’ Bourbon Street: bars and pubs line the sidewalks, each blasting a unique style of music at full volume. Free drink coupons are in abundance, and the drunk

hordes are impossible to dodge. It’s charming to say the least. The music portion of the festival begins tonight, March 13. Once the sun goes down, things really start heating up—we’re looking forward to seeing Kendrick Lamar and Santigold tonight, but if things don’t pan out with those acts there is music on literally every corner and we will have plenty to do to keep ourselves busy. Other acts playing this evening include ScHoolboy Q, Yellow Ostrich, Beach Fossils and Poliça. We have also had the opportunity to explore some of the cultural flavors of Austin outside of the festival itself. We are staying in a loft East of I-35, a neighborhood rich with Latino culture. A delicious tacqueria is around the corner, and there are two—count ‘em, two— piñata stores on our block. We also had the pleasure of shopping in the world’s largest Whole Foods, complete with a man with a parrot buying organic, fair-trade draft ales. Hopefully the beer, barbecue and beats will fuel us throughout the week! Check back with The Daily Cardinal arts page, @DCArtsDesk and for concert reviews as the week goes on! ­—Riley Beggin and Jaime Brackeen

Can you tweet Hamlet and Harry Potter? Alex Aciman was 19 when he took a leap of faith and bet on Twitter’s ability to satirize his favorite literary classics (as well as Twilight and some others)in bursts of 140 characters. Despite J.K. Rowling’s cease-anddesist letters, the venture paid off. The then-sophomore at the University of Chicago’s book, entitled “twitterature,” was picked up by the Penguin Group, who printing it in three languages. It was released in retailers across the globe (including Australian Urban Outfitters). The Wall Street Journal said “twitterature” had “Shakespeare rolling over in his grave.” The rest of the reviews covered the gamut. I caught up with Alex three years later. Along with his book and life after becoming a published author before turning twenty, we tweeted about satire, Serge Gainsbourg, and why one of the authors of a twitter-based satire didn’t have a twitter account before this interview.

Interview tweeted by Ben Siegel @DC Did you plan on publishing from the beginning, or did it start purely for the self-enjoyment? What was the writing process like? @AA the process was 1-read book 2-be funny 3-figure out how twitter works, 4-get that on paper. it happened on macbooks in ~ 10 days. @DC Most/least fave to tweet? Easiest/Hardest? Are people allowed to be tht productive? Are you allowed to answer with multiple sheets? @AA most-Dante least-Twilight Hardest-The Wasteland because I had to get inventive with Eliots style. Sendhal wrote 550 pgs in 58 days. @DC what was/has been the best part about writing the book? Any surprises? @AA After the book people had a lot more faith in me, and are waiting for me to do something. My mom still thinks I’m lazy. @DC looking back, is there anything you’d do differently? @AA Didn’t know hash-tags existed. Probably would have thrown a few more of those in. Maybe not, it’s cheap humor. @DC (going back 2 first answer) so twitter was more of the means to an end? Satire in tweets more than satire of words? @AA Both, very much so. But don’t forget the literature part.

DC: what is it that you don’t like about twitter? too restrictive? too much apathy? @AA There are a lot of stupid people and twitter gives them more of a voice. Also, orthoraphy goes out the window. 140 is arbitrary.


view Cardinal View editorials represent The Daily Cardinal’s organizational opinion. Each editorial is crafted independent of news coverage.

Support the proposed ASM constitution


onight, the Associated Students of Madison will raise their hands for or against a special election centered on the approval of a new ASM constitution—a document designed to restructure the function and make-up of UW-Madison’s student government. But before this Board jumps into the nitty gritty, let us just say, while it is highly unlikely, we are crossing our fingers that student council approves. Over the course of the year, this Board has watched in dumbfounded awe, and written in genuine concern, about the drastic transformation of ASM distorting the purpose and function of our student government. With futile internal struggles plaguing the majority of their agenda, ASM’s status as a selfgoverning body has increasingly become overwhelmingly vain and ineffective to the general student body. Spending a large portion of the fall semester bickering about who was and who was not eligible to serve as vicechair, while repeatedly defending funding cuts to one of the

750 student organizations on campus as well as council itself, ASM’s new grassroots mantra has failed to provide the concrete and unified governmental structure needed to represent the general student interest. Why might that be? Because they have been too busy protecting their own.

We need a better-organized governmental structure so we can increase ASM’s efficiency and include a larger student voice.

From editorial to editorial, this Board has consistently analyzed and scrutinized ASM’s shortcomings. From the start of the year, we brought attention to salient student issues we believed council had a responsibility to address. We handed out a wide range of suggestions and critiques to ASM’s agenda. We even caved in and gave our two cents on the wasteful disputes engulfing a dispropor-

tionately large amount of ASM time. And while our articles may have sparked dissent rather than discussion from many student council representatives, we realized our opinion didn’t stand-alone. A number of student leaders, college governments and student organization heads expressed the same sentiment: This year’s ASM has failed as an institution. We need a better-organized governmental structure so we can increase ASM’s efficiency and include a larger student voice. Thus, the ASM Constitution Committee was born. As simple as that. Comprised of The Badger Herald and The Daily Cardinal Editorial Boards, a few current ASM members, student organization heads and members from outside student governments, the ACC’s make-up embodied a colorful selection of student leaders across campus—leaders who agreed on one thing. Let us be clear. By no means were any under the table tactics implemented in this group’s formation. No mission to unfairly rewrite powers or give individual favors underlined the group’s intent. The ACC was founded on the notion that every member in it shares a common interest to create a better ASM. And to do this, we made it abundantly clear that the student body was to be involved in the drafting process. In fact, one stipulation our Editorial Board had upon joining the committee was that it would be an open process. And it was. Last semester the group met to create, formulate and better articulate an idea. We created a version of the constitution that

Wednesday, March 14, 2012 best represented our mission and immediately presented it to the campus as a whole. From there, we expected input from all facets of the university. As the document rested on a malleable precedent, it was our goal to change and rewrite the constitution based on the suggestions we received. Many times throughout the drafting process we made notes—particularly when it came to the new Senate—and wait to hear what feedback we would get from students. The handful of the suggestions we received were contemplated, discussed and many were eventually included in the document.

No corruption, no powerhungry intentions and no funny business outlined the ACC’s purpose.

With that, while we understand representatives’ concerns surrounding the drafting process, this Editorial Board can’t stress enough the importance each individual member placed on listening and weighing student input as much as possible. Our Board has been incredibly conscious of being clean and transparent throughout the entire initiative because we wholeheartedly believe in the ACC’s mission to better our student government. No corruption, no powerhungry intentions and no funny business outlined the ACC’s purpose. Student interests were always at the forefront of the conversation. That said, we



urge students and council to stop focusing on a problem that does not exist and start contributing to the conversation. No one on ASM can say that its current governmental model is working seamlessly for the student body. And while we do not expect the new constitution to fix every problem, it is an effort to start. So when council debates the ACC’s proposed constitution tonight, we strongly encourage representatives to look through the guts of the document, recognize the ACC’s genuine intentions and ask clarifying questions before angrily writing it off. If ASM members need some starting points, we are more than willing to help. Representatives should debate how the proposed constitution will involve other UW-Madison college governments. They should debate the new funding streams that will make it easier for groups to acquire funds to help the campus. They should also ask how the executive would work. ASM members have asked their share of questions about the process of drafting the proposed constitution, and they have been answered over and over again. ACC members are ready to answer questions about the constitution itself. Each member on the ACC joined the committee because they care greatly about ASM and its functionality. The quality of our student government has the power to impact campus on an incredibly broad scale. The new constitution and those who helped draft it believe and recognize this power. If you do too, raise your hand.

Want to win $1,000 by writing 1,000 words? Submit a 1,000 word essay responding to the prompt, “Sex and the single student: Do men and women play by the same rules?” for your chance to win. The essay is due April 16, 2012. The best essay will receive $1,000 and be printed in the paper. Send in your submissions to


6 • Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Today’s Sudoku

Power of the mind? There are praticed Buddhist monks are capable of generating enough heat to dry wet blankets and be comfortable in freezing environments.

Eating ice cream with your hands

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Eatin’ Cake

By Dylan Moriarty

Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Angel Hair Pasta Classic

By Todd Stevens

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Caved In

Answer key available at

FEELIN’ GROOVY ACROSS 1 CD- ___ (storage devices) 5 Attack with a knife 9 Moves like a crane 14 Very large-scale 15 Like permed hair 16 “Fame” actress Cara 17 Puente of Latin jazz 18 Bittersweet coating 19 Avian abodes 20 What excavating equipment is designed for 23 Money shelter 24 Kind of fair 25 Quack medicine 27 With 7-Down, place in Israel 28 Shaped by machine, as wood 32 Vacuum cleaner part 33 Columbus called it home 34 Acts sulky 35 Structures where air is blown at high velocities 38 Sarcastic “Cheers” waitress 40 Aim improver 41 Impressed 42 Citizen Kane’s reallife model

4 Sporty cap 4 47 Oboe’s relative 49 Former pupa 51 Boring tool 52 Stairways outside of buildings 56 At an angle 58 Administered with a spoon, perhaps 59 Primer pooch 60 “Aladdin” apparition 61 Former coin of Italy 62 Dispose of via eBay 63 Yard trimmer 64 When Passiontide falls 65 Bathtub swirl DOWN 1 Kind professor’s allowance 2 Addictive drug 3 Kind of heart valve 4 Writer Sir Walter 5 Dog-paddled, e.g. 6 Edible tuber 7 See 27-Across 8 Name in the newspaper? 9 Pair in the air 10 Word before “so!” and “not!” 11 Wanting (with “of”) 12 Leave confidently in one’s care 13 Bagel seeds

21 Capital near Yellowstone National Park 22 “Go ahead” signal 26 Oar holder 29 Common conjunction 30 Young kid 31 African trade language 33 Coats with gold 34 Type of ulcer 35 Obtain via force 36 ATM maker bought by AT&T 37 Anti votes 38 Sauerkraut, essentially 39 Apt rhyme for “anticipated” 42 ___ polloi (common folk) 43 Sign up for 44 Accessed (with “into”) 45 Ancient 46 Almost all 48 More frequently, to bards 50 Billiard shot 53 “... 15 miles on the ___ Canal” 54 Be deserving of 55 Bed frame segment 57 Whopper you can’t eat

By Nick Kryshak

Scribbles n’ Bits

By Melanie Shibley

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

schultz from page 8

mark kauzlarich/cardinal file photo

Junior defenseman Justin Schultz has electrified fans for the past three seasons. When Wisconsin’s season ended, Schultz’s departure became a certainty. Where he would go, not so much.

First Team All Western Collegiate Hockey Conference, two years as the conference’s defensive player of the year, First Team West All American honors a year ago (and likely this year) and the very real possibility of a Hobey Baker trophy in a couple weeks—the Ducks want Schultz to skip his last year of eligibility and join the pros. Not like most players, though, where there’s seasoning to be done in the farm system. They want him skating in the NHL like, oh, say, yesterday. Not a bad offer, to say the least. He could finish this season on an NHL salary (plus signing bonus), skate next year and then be in line to be a restricted free agent after next season. Not that the guy isn’t grateful—he’s among the most professional and humble kids to talk to despite his obvious and overwhelming skill—but the Ducks are 29-30-11, right in the celly of the Pacific Division. Not the kind of celly that hockey players tweet about, mind you, but the kind of celly usually reserved for wine and cobwebs. Free agency might be kind of nice. But that’s where this whole thing gets complicated. See, if Schultz holds out until July 1, he can be an unrestricted free agent. Basically, it has to do with the amount of time (will be four years) since he’s been drafted and the provisions of hockey’s collective bargaining agreement. This has all been fairly well documented, and it seemed a foregone conclusion as the Badgers came down the stretch that, whenever the season ended, Schultz would say his goodbyes, maybe apologize to his professors, and go chase his dream. Funny thing though, it hasn’t happened. Heck, there were rumors— really probably more just speculation rather than even rumor—that Schultz could just stay in Colorado after the Badgers dropped a game three against Denver, as the Ducks were playing the Avalanche

decker from page 8 well-stocked with Badgers. Three Wisconsin players have won the award—named for the former Princeton hockey player Patty Kazmaier-Sandt who died at 28 from a rare blood disease—since it was created in 1998. Forward Sara Bauer won it in 2006, Jessie Vetter in 2009 and, most recently, forward Meghan Duggan last year. All three winners also led their teams to national titles. Decker said Duggan’s leadership last year as team captain, not to mention the way she handled winning the award, inspired her this year.



Monday night at the Pepsi Center. The longer and longer he goes without signing, though, the more likely the free agency route seems. That seems like a good call to me. Think about it, he’s one of the top prospects that can commute without a spaceship. He’s a defenseman that has 91 points over the last two years. He was on the ice for 65.7 percent of UW’s goals this season, and his 40 career tallies is good for third place in Wisconsin history and ninth in WCHA history for blueliners. That’s in three years, mind you. Without a doubt, he’s attractive to every NHL team out there. In addition, it would give him a chance to finish school this year. He could do the same and sign with the Ducks later this spring, but the pressure is on from Southern California now. I’m not naive, I know a lot of student athletes on this campus are more athletes than students, but it’s not like it would hurt. Plus, Madison can be gorgeous in the spring. I’m writing this from my roof in 70 degree weather. And yes, I know I could write every column from my roof if I lived in Anaheim. I suppose it’s necessary to also consider the fact that the West Kelowna, British Columbia native has a year of eligibility remaining in Madison. With Montee Ball announcing his return after the Rose Bowl, I’m sure it’s crossed the minds of some Crease Creatures out there. Let’s just say, I really doubt it. If Prince had reupped in Milwaukee and Montee had stayed, maybe you could convince me. It’s just hard to turn down that kind of money and the chance to do what you’ve always wanted to do. So while you’re stressing over your summer decision and I’m trying to figure out how to best ask about the availability of my basement, No. 6 will have a difficult choice to make. Regardless, it’s been fun calling him a Badger. We always will, no matter where he ends sniping water bottles and making up cellys. “[Duggan winning] was such a team experience, more so than an individual, and that’s the way Meghan looked at it,” Decker said. “She was so humble about the award, too, which made us realize she was in it just for the team.” Johnson said that team-first attitude, and the way Decker emulates it, helped her and the other award finalists get to their position. “That’s who they are and that’s why they’re up for the award,” Johnson said. “You look at past recipients and they’re well-rounded kids, they’ve got great character, they’ve got great integrity, they all have had good seasons – so Brianna fits right into that award.”

danny marchewka/cardinal file photo

Former Wisconsin forward Meghan Duggan became the third Badger to take home the trophy, winning the award last year.


wednesday march 14, 2012

Women’s Hockey

Patty Kazmaier Award made for Decker The Wisconsin junior could become the fourth Badger to win the award

Story by Nico Savidge


ith a national championship and the highest individual honor in collegiate women’s hockey up for grabs, this coming weekend has the potential to be the high-water mark for Brianna Decker’s career. As the junior forward gets ready to lead her team into the NCAA semifinal Friday afternoon against Boston College, she is also one of three finalists for the Patty Kazmaier Memorial Award given to the most outstanding player in the game. It is a long way from where Decker’s career at Wisconsin started. Back in October of 2009, Decker took the ice for the first time as a Badger in Wisconsin’s seasonopening loss to North Dakota. The next day, she scored the first and second goals of her college career, but on the second—perhaps taking the concept of “crashing the net” too literally—careened into the goal and broke her wrist. She missed the Badgers’ next nine games, spending practices stickhandling a plastic ball off the ice and watching her teammates on it. On her first shift back from injury, though, she showed a glimpse of what she was capable of. Decker hopped over the boards less than a minute into the game against Wayne State, and after a few

seconds on the ice, forced a turnover and set up then-sophomore forward Brooke Ammerman for a goal. It was a small indication of what was to come, and although the Badgers and Decker struggled through the 2009-’10 season, head coach Mark Johnson said it did not discourage her from doing anything “other than coming out the next [season] and having a phenomenal year.” Johnson often praises Decker for her hard work and competitiveness; attributes that are common in every athlete but seem especially fitting for Decker. That drive could yield a couple of big payoffs this weekend. “Kids that work hard and are committed and are doing that for a long time, it’s nice to see them get rewarded. Other kids that want to become good, they’re not willing to [make] the sacrifice,” Johnson said. “Talk’s relatively inexpensive. It’s the work and the perspiration that goes into being a better player … Brianna’s no different. She’s earned everything that’s come her way.” Ask Decker about the award, however, and her attitude borders on indifference. “Individually, it doesn’t mean anything,” she said. Sure, the Patty Kazmaier Award is nice,

Weighing the options, not an easy decision parker gabriel parks and rec


t’s getting to be that dreaded time of year for college kids. Yeah, the weather is turning nice and that’s great and all, but it comes with one of the great annual struggles of being in class for 30 weeks of the year. You have to find a job for the summer. If you’re graduating, ideally you’re finding a job for more than just June to September. Of course, some kids have taken care of this already. They’re the kind of kids who get applications in

on time and have multiple options or offers on the table. These are the kind of kids who definitely don’t push their column deadline every single week. It’s weird, how stressful the job hunt can get, even if it’s just a summer gig. Even if you have options. Heck, even if you have good options. Justin Schultz knows a thing or two about it. The 21-year-old defenseman was drafted by the Anaheim Ducks in the second round of the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. After three years of stardom in Madison—a tenure that includes two years as a

schultz page 7

Patrick Daly leaves the team According to a tweet from Andy Baggot of the Wisconsin State Journal (@AndyBaggotWSJ) Wisconsin men’s hockey freshman defenseman Patrick Daly is leaving the team to focus on academics. Baggot’s tweet was later retweeted from the official Badger men’s hockey account (@BadgerMHockey). Daly, a Victoria, Minn. native, saw time in 11 games for the Badgers during the 2011-’12 season, recording four shots on goal and two penalty minutes, but no goals or points. Daly came to the Badgers this

season as a true freshman from Benilde-St. Margaret’s High School in St. Louis Park, Minn. In his senior season Daly was a finalist for the 2011 Minnesota Mr. Hockey Award after recording a 40-point season from the blue line. Daly was also a 2011 seventh round (189th overall) draft pick of the New Jersey Devils. Daly told The Daily Cardinal in December 2010 that his goal is to attend medical school someday and that his decision to attend UWMadison had as much to do with academics as athletics. ryan evans

mark kauzlarich/cardinal file photo

Junior forward Brianna Decker is one of three finalists for the Patty Kazmaier Memorial Award. Decker has dominated opponents offensively this season, tallying 80 points in 38 games. but it is not the trophy Decker wants to have most on the bus ride back to Madison after this Frozen Four weekend. Decker is joined by two other finalists for the award: North Dakota forward Jocelyne Lamoureaux and Northeastern goaltender Florence Schelling. The competition is likely between Decker and Lamoureaux, who have played together in the USA Hockey program at any number of international tournaments,

most recently winning gold at the 4 Nations Cup in November. With 34 goals and 48 assists, Lamoureaux leads Decker (37 goals and 23 assists) in points by two, and Decker complemented her rival’s offensive skill. “She has a tremendous shot,” Decker said. “She sets up people all the time, so when I played with her, we moved the puck very well.” Northeastern’s Schelling raised eyebrows as an award finalist, since her .950 save percentage and 1.42

goals against average, which, while impressive, still trail Wisconsin’s Alex Rigsby, who posted a .952 save percentage and 1.35 GAA. When asked if he thought Schelling benefited from some regional bias—she is the only finalist from an east-coast team—Johnson said, “Ya think?” But if Decker tops Lamoureaux and Schelling on Saturday she will join an elite club of Patty Kazmaier winners, a group already

decker page 7

The Daily Cardinal - Wednesday, March 14, 2012  

The Daily Cardinal - Wednesday, March 14, 2012