Aliens are real... for real
A multi-dimensional problem
Andy Holsteen shares his not crazy theories on life in the universe
The Daily Cardinal Editorial Board and Mayor Paul Soglin discuss the issue of Madison’s homeless
University of Wisconsin-Madison
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+Opinion, page 5 l
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Mining bill passes state committees By Jack Casey the daily carindal
Two state legislative committees passed the contentious state mining bill through to its next step in the legislative process in two separate committee meetings Wednesday, disappointing many state Democrats who have challenged the legislation since its introduction in early January. The two committees met separately at 10 a.m. Wednesday in
the Capitol to discuss and vote on proposed environmental and procedural amendments. The procedural amendments were proposed to address Democrats’ concerns that the first version of the bill would limit the time state and federal agencies would be given to review a mining company’s permit application. The bill as a whole aims to simplify the
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Walker, Vos plan to expand mental health care services Gov. Scott Walker announced Wednesday he will include a near $30 million, tax-funded expansion of the state’s mental health care infrastructure in the upcoming state budget. The funding is slated to enhance existing mental health programs, such as those focused on providing care to children and troubled adults, while also introducing new initiatives, according to a statement from Walker. The expansion’s goals include improving community-based care services, creating greater coordination among mental health care providers and establishing an Office of Children’s Mental Health. Walker added his administration developed the expansion’s goals based on consultation with mental health professionals and advocates. State Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, R-Rochester, also announced
Wednesday plans to create a bipartisan speaker’s Task Force on Mental Health, an 11-member committee charged with suggesting improvements for the state’s mental health policies. Vos appointed state Rep. Erik Severson, R-Osceola, to chair the task force, a position Severson said in a statement he hopes to use to address serious issues. “Wisconsin has always led the nation when it comes to innovative programs and policies regarding healthcare,” Severson said. “We can do that again by stepping up and addressing mental health issues, rather than avoiding the problem.” State Rep. Sandy Pasch, D-Shorewood, vice-chair of the task force, said in a statement she looks forward to bipartisan cooperation on the “critical” issue of mental health. —Andrew Haffner
Next wave of Badgers Gary Andersen speaks to new Badger recruits and their families on signing day at the Athletics Recruiting Dinner at Varsity Hall in Union South Wednesday. + Photo by Stephanie Daher
Student Council moves forward with new constitution proposal By Paige Villiard the daily carindal
The Associated Students of Madison Student Council proposed Wednesday a new constitution that would completely restructure the current student government institution. The proposed constitution would establish four different branches of ASM, which include the executive, legislative, judicial and appropriations branches. These would replace the institution’s three current branches: Student Council, Student Services Finance Committee and Student Judiciary.
ASM Nominations Board Chair Sean McNally, who sponsored the legislation, said the new structure’s four branches would increase the separation of powers within the student government. Under the new constitution, the legislative branch would primarily work on outreach to the student body through campaigns, leaving funding decisions to the complete discretion of the appropriations branch. “Council can fully focus on improving student life and appropriations can check itself when handling budgets,” McNally said. McNally also said the new
structure would improve outreach to the student body and create a “unified student voice to the fullest extent possible.” “This piece of legislation has an opportunity to have a substantial impact on the student body and student power on campus in a positive manner,” McNally said. The legislation calls for Student Council to approve the placement of the constitution on the ASM Spring 2013 ballot, making the document subject to a student vote. Council passed the consti-
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Proposal would convert downtown church into apartments
abigail waldo/the daily cardinal
Mansion Hill residents disagree on a proposal to convert a downtown Catholic church into student apartments.
Mansion Hill Neighborhood residents, Holy Redeemer parishioners and project developers met Wednesday to discuss the planned conversion of a historic local Catholic school into student apartments. The project calls for renovations such as turning the first two floors of the building into apartments, according to architect Stephen Mar-Pohl, but developers and church officials are still discussing plans regarding the historic third floor auditorium. The plan also includes extensive restorations to the Holy Redeemer School, located at 142
W. Johnson St., which has been used as a meeting place for both community and Holy Redeemer church functions since the school closed in 1965. Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, acknowledged the importance of the building’s historic nature, but supports the project and said “I always think additional student housing options [are] a good thing.” Eugene Devitt, an area landlord and Holy Redeemer parishioner, said creating student housing in the area would affect the culture of the church. “You gotta be real careful about what you put up in certain areas,” Devitt said. “It should be
used for church uses.” Project developer Mar-Pohl of Insite Consulting architects said the renovations would “bring [the building] back to life.” Church member Norman Fuentes said he spoke with many in the latino community who are worried about losing the building as a place for community and church functions. “If they get rid of it … where’s that help gonna be and where’s [bible study] gonna go?” Fuentes said. Developers will present the plan to Madison’s Landmarks Commission on March 11. —Ricardo Romero
“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”
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tODAY: chance o’ snow hi 34º / lo 18º
Thursday, February 7, 2013
An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 122, Issue 79
News and Editorial
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hi 28º / lo 16º
Aliens are totally real, OK?!
2142 Vilas Communication Hall 821 University Avenue Madison, Wis., 53706-1497 (608) 262-8000 • fax (608) 262-8100
firstname.lastname@example.org Editor in Chief Managing Editor Alex DiTullio Scott Girard
andy holsteen a hol lot to say
his in no way meant to be funny. Take my arguments how you will, but whatever you do, don’t chuckle whatsoever, or I’ll get violently angry. I think aliens are totally real. And by God (does it make sense to use Him/Her in this context?), you will not convince me otherwise. OK, before you try to act all smart with your empiricism and rationality and proof and whatever other things you people use to make coherent, sensible arguments, just shut up for a minute. I haven’t been abducted, and as far as I know, little green men haven’t been probing me in my sleep (sorry if reading some insane story was the only thing you were looking forward to in this column). Although, I feel like that story has been told a zillion times, so you should just read this anyway because my version of the Truth is much more entertaining than listening to some delusional half-baked stargazer babble uncontrollably about
making first contact). There’s also a high level of legitimacy to my hypothesis. Experts have told me that my hypothesis falls somewhere between the fields of astrology and Scientology—the real sciences. The names don’t lie. Doesn’t anybody else think it’s a bit weird that in an insanely-fucking-enormous universe, such as ours, there’s only one tiny little planet that is known to support (intelligent?) life. See, this is some heavy shit people. I’m not joking around, not one bit. I despise those “informed” ignoramuses who act like they’re so smart because they’ve thought things through and read books and stuff. The worst part is that they always end up getting tons of ass and huge paychecks. They don’t deserve anything. That’s why I just skip the thinking and get everything right without using any logic or doing any prolonged research whatsoever. Nothing about this is funny at all, and I’m 100 percent correct. Prove me wrong, bro. The first premise of my extraterrestrial schema is that you have to believe in time travel (still not laughing here). I mean, why wouldn’t you
think time travel is totally real? We’re all travelling through time right now. OK, maybe we don’t diverge from the tic tock of the clock in our daily lives. But I’m positive aliens do.
I despise those ‘informed’ ignoramuses who act like they’re so smart because they’ve thought things through and read books and stuff.
My dream is to give an alien a time-traveling high-five—like one where both parties involved just know that it’s perfect because it makes an absurdly loud “CLAP” sound but at the same time is totally painless. I call it a high-infinity. It’s heavenly and immediately radiates a second-hand infinity high. How many fingers do aliens have? Not sure. Wait no, they have the same number of fingers as humans, I’m completely positive. It matters that they’re anatomically similar to us. Oh yeah, on that note, conservation of energy and matter is completely irrelevant. I’ve never been more serious in my whole life.
All of the videos of UFO sightings that I’ve seen on YouTube have ended with the high-tech, shiny spacecraft abruptly disappearing into oblivion. Explain that. I know I can. It’s because aliens have figured out how to reduce, reuse and recycle atoms. Yes folks, you heard me right. Where do you honestly think we get our catchiest slogans from anyway? Aliens utilize a process known on Earth as reverse-osmosynthebustalocation to do this. In layman’s terms: They make matter indefinitely implode. The whole thing is a pretty technical process, so it’s probably better if I don’t get into it. There was a chiropractor from Prague, Dr. Avery Von Goldenbloom, who apparently figured out how to do it back in the late ’70s. Nobody’s seen or heard from him since. There’s a lot more grave and unfunny and undeniably truthful evidence that I could explain to you about the existence of aliens. But at the end of the day, all that really matters is the fact that I’m right and there’s nothing you can say or do to change my mind. Do you know for a fact that aliens are real? Help Andy enlighten the uninformed masses. Send him at email at email@example.com.
Time for Capital Brewery to adapt, innovate Niko Ivanovic beer columnist
apital Brewery has been a Wisconsin institution for craft beer ever since the movement began gathering momentum a couple decades ago. Founded on the idea of bringing quality German-style lagers and ales to an audience who had become far too accustomed to drinking boring macrobrews, Capital found success by bridging the gap between bad beer and introductory craft brews. However, in the midst of an all-out craft-beer revolution, the brewery has to ask itself if this mentality is beginning to hold it back. Founded in 1984 in Middleton, Wis., Capital Brewery was one of the first microbreweries from the latter half of the 20th century to establish any real success. It was a time of Miller and Budweiser dominance, where Heineken was considered a fancy European ale, and the bolder beer styles were entirely unheard of. It was a risky time to open up a craft brewery. However, Capital Brewery realized its vision for Wisconsin’s beer potential by gradually easing the macrobrew drinker into a world of better brews. The brewery accomplished this by producing drinkable and familiar styles but in a way that was profoundly better than anything the big boys were churning out. Over two decades later, Capital has expanded its lineup of brews greatly, frequently releasing new seasonals to accompany staples like the
Amber Ale, Capital Dark, Island Wheat and Supper Club. But to be honest, they are pretty much all doppelbocks. For those of you who don’t know, a doppelbock is a strong German-style beer with lots of dark fruit, wheat and caramel flavors. It’s a bold style that will challenge its drinker’s tongue. However, in an industry that seems to spawn a new, innovative beer style every week, with newcomer brewers revealing their espresso stouts, imperial IPAs and puckering sour ales, I can’t help but feel like Capital Brewery is beginning to get lost in the dust. Now, this has been the state of affairs for Capital for some time, and the brewery just lost its head brewmaster—along with his 24 years of experience. Well, as far as I see it, this could be a giant hurdle, or just maybe, it could be a blessing in disguise. Now maybe this is just my inner beer geek, and not the businessman’s complaint, but it’s about time Capital Brewery starts experimenting and flexing its brewing muscle. If there is one thing that the last few years have taught the beer industry, it’s that people’s tastes are getting much hoppier. Considering I have never had a hop-heavy beer from Capital, that is a problem. I walked into Capital’s Tap Haus on State Street recently and looked up at the tap board to see that one —maybe two— beers had changed since I had last been there three months ago. And of course, what was the most notable change? Swapping one doppelbock for another (this time Eternal Flame). It was an interesting beer and certainly worth a try but may have been
the only one. What I really want to see from Capital is a real effort to evolve as beer makers. The best brewers in the world maintain an ambition to always push the boundaries for what beer can be and are never content with settling for what people seem to like or what seems to sell. It’s a philosophy that has been embraced with incredible enthusiasm in the beer community over the past few years. It’s a philosophy that breweries like Ale Asylum have taken full advantage of and then seen
exponential growth, threatening to sink breweries like Capital into a sea of irrelevance. So my advice to Capital, which is the same as my advice to so many craft breweries out there, is to embrace beer and elevate it to its full potential. Keep the classics that everyone loves, scrap the rest and start innovating again, like you did with such incredible success two decades ago. Niko’s beer column runs on Page Two every Thursday. Send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thursday, February 7, 2013 3
County announces co-op housing plan for homeless Dane County Executive Joe Parisi introduced a new cooperative housing initiative in a press release Wednesday as part of an alternative approach to providing accommodations for the region’s homeless population. The prospective co-op is Parisi’s latest effort to utilize a stipulation in the county’s 2013 budget that allocates $1.1 million to reducing homelessness in the area, according to the press release. The county executive’s office is requesting $250,000 to develop a cooperative living unit large enough to serve at least 20 individuals. Supervisor Carousel Bayrd, who authored the budget amendment, said Parisi’s initiative fits her vision of defeating homelessness by creating more stable housing in Madison. “This initiative is exactly what we were working towards, leveraging county funds to team with others to develop permanent solutions to our housing needs,”
Bayrd said in a statement. In an accompanying letter, the county executive’s office asked Mayor Paul Soglin and Madison’s City Council to collaborate on the project, which county executive spokesperson Carrie Springer said would increase the likelihood of the project’s success. “The county is committed to working together with people to solve this problem,” Springer said. “This isn’t a problem that one government entity or one group can solve alone.” Springer said she is “optimistic” that the city will agree to work with Dane County, but Parisi is prepared to move forward if the city declines. If the Board of Supervisors grants approval to the measure at one of its upcoming meetings, the Dane County Department of Human Services will seek official proposals from public, private and non-profit agencies. —Melissa Howison
Research suggests Facebook boosts confidence when users feel insecure A recent study of Facebook, conducted in part by a University of Wisconsin-Madison professor, suggests users unconsciously check their own profiles to boost their ego when feeling negatively about themselves. Catalina Toma, an assistant professor of communication arts at UW-Madison who helped conduct the study, suggests Facebook might have the ability to fulfill some universal psychological needs. In the study, participants received negative feedback after presenting a public speech. They were then invited to partake in one of five unrelated studies, one of which involved looking at
their own Facebook profile. Toma and Jeffrey Hancock, a communication professor at Cornell University who also helped conduct the study, applied the “self-affirmation theory” to social networks in their study. The theory explained that people have a need to seek out information that casts them in a positive light. The study demonstrated that Facebook could be used for more than “gossip, narcissism or procrastination,” according to a statement released by the university. There are, instead, meaningful psychological benefits that give users a sense of value and self-worth, the statement said.
asm from page 1
McNally said it was voted down because its amendments failed to achieve a sustainable balanced structure. “This constitution makes those compromises and is a balanced document that can serve the student population for years to come,” McNally said.
tution in a preliminary vote, but will need to approve it again in its next meeting by a 2/3 vote for it to be placed on the spring ballot. A similar constitution was proposed in the fall, but
savannah stauss/the daily cardinal
ASM Nominations Board Chair Sean McNally proposed a new constitution Wednesday to restructure the student government.
Jessica chatham/the daily cardinal
UW-Madison communication arts professor Zhongdang Pan says the university has a tremendous opportunity to learn from Chinese students and scholars visiting Madison.
Panel examines UW-Madison’s growing connection to China By Meghan Chua the daily cardinal
University of WisconsinMadison professors from across disciplines including East Asian studies, political science and communication arts spoke at a panel Wednesday about the benefits the university can gain from its growing relationship with China. Sara Guyer, director of the Center for the Humanities, which hosted the event, said there are about 1,000 students from China studying at UW-Madison as undergraduates and graduates at any time, and 4,000 Chinese students apply to the university every year. Additionally, UW-Madison opened its Shanghai Innovation Office in China last June to encourage academic and professional collaboration between students and scholars in both countries.
Communication arts professor Zhongdang Pan, one of the panelists, said UW-Madison has a tremendous opportunity to benefit from the perspectives and experiences of people who visit from China, but also mentioned what the university could give. “Being located in the state capital, I think this university has this unique opportunity to partner with the city or with the state to broaden the cultural engagement of Chinese students and scholars,” Pan said. Highlighting the integration between Chinese studies and the state, Edward Friedman, professor emeritus of political science, said before Gov. Scott Walker leads a trade delegation to China this spring, he will receive a briefing from UW-Madison faculty. “Historically, UW-Madison has been magnificent in international
education,” said Friedman, adding the university usually receives more foreign area studies federal grants than other universities. Friedman also mentioned the first American ambassador to China was a UW-Madison faculty member in the political science department. Additionally, the university was the first in the U.S. to create a doctorate program in Buddhist studies. Friedman said despite looming funding challenges in public education, it is important for UW-Madison to continue to be a leader in Chinese and international studies. “To me, China is like the United States in the sense that it is so important… that wherever you are in the world you can’t understand the world unless you understand your relationship to either China or the United States,” he said.
Dane County detectives arrest woman in Washington Detectives from the Dane County Sheriff’s office arrested a 26-yearold Madison woman Tuesday in Washington for allegedly helping her husband hide the corpse of the man he is accused of killing. According to a Dane County Sheriff’s Office press release, detectives picked Shannon Remus up at Fort McChord military base on a felony charge of hiding
a corpse in relation to her husband Jeffrey Vogelsberg’s alleged connection to the murder of his autistic half-brother, 27-year-old Matthew Graville. The State Journal reported that the Dane County Sheriff’s office charged Vogelsberg, 27, with first degree murder Jan. 2 for allegedly beating Graville to death, to which Vogelsberg plead-
ed not guilty on Jan. 31. Remus is facing charges for allegedly withholding information from police about the location of Graville’s body during the more than threemonth-long search for Graville while he was considered missing. According to the release, police are holding Remus at Pierce County Jail in Tacoma, Wash. until her extradition hearing Thursday.
mining from page 1
ways and deny key regulatory agencies from conducting a full permit review in the time allowed in the bill. The other committee, the Senate Committee on Workforce Development, Forestry, Mining, and Revenue, chaired by state Sen. Tom Tiffany, R-Hazelhurst, similarly approved the bill 3-2 on party lines after discussing amendments similar to those proposed in the Assembly. The Senate committee’s hearing got off to a heated start as state Sen. Bob Jauch, D-Poplar, a vocal opponent of the proposed bill, quickly launched into a speech criticizing Republicans’ inability to negotiate with other parties on the bill and the Republicans’ “unheard of” scheduling process. According to Jauch, Republicans limited the democratic process by
scheduling both committee hearings at the same time, denying citizens the opportunity to listen to both committees. “There has been a pattern of excluding access to the public and the press on this legislation,” Jauch said. But Tiffany has maintained he and other Republicans took the time to hear other sides on the mining issue. Despite Republicans’ ability to pass the bill without Democrats’ support due to their clear majority in the legislature, they adopted amendments that addressed some of the concerns Democrats and environmental activists raised. The bill will move on to the Joint Finance Committee and Walker and Republicans hope to have a legislature-wide vote sometime in March.
permitting process for potential mining companies in the state. The Assembly Committee on Jobs, Economy and Mining, chaired by state Rep. Mary Williams, R-Medford, passed the controversial bill on party lines as well as 11 of 13 proposed amendments designed to address Democrats’ environmental and permitting timeline concerns during the session, according to Williams’ office. But Democratic assembly committee members, including state Rep. Fred Clark, D-Sauk City, said the Republicans’ amendments are still not enough to warrant passage of the bill. They say the bill, even with the new amendments, will allow mining companies to pollute state wetlands and water-
4 Thursday, February 7, 2013
More input on who deserves an Oscar Austin Wellens all’s Well-ens well
o last week I started into my (very one-sided) discussion of this year’s Oscar field, and I spent most of that time looking at Tom Hooper’s adaptation of “Les Misérables” and little of that time talking about Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” and Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln.” The reason for my brevity in regards to “Lincoln” should’ve been fairly obvious if you read last week, but if you didn’t let me reiterate: I really, really don’t want “Lincoln” to win. Or even for Spielberg to win Best Director. I’ve accepted that we give Daniel Day-Lewis tiny gold statues on a periodic basis as tribute in a sort of pan-theistic ritual we go through to placate him and spare us from his mighty wrath and I’m okay with it. However, my slighting “Django Unchained” in terms of page space made less sense, even to me as I was writing it, because as people who read this column frequently might have noticed, I’ve kind of got a major film crush on “Inglourious Basterds,” and although I’m less
vocal about it, “Pulp Fiction” is probably one of the best movies ever. I’m a Tarantino fan. I saw “Django.” Twice. And I really enjoyed myself both times. So when I found myself thinking about the Best Picture nominees, I was shocked to discover that “Django” honestly wasn’t my pick for any of my three personal Oscar categories.
As hard as it might be for me to admit it, Tarantino should not win Best Picture, and I don’t want him to.
Quick tangent—I tend to think of the nominees in terms of “who should win,” “who I want to win” and “who probably will win.” All three categories are mostly unrelated and intended to weed out any personal biases I might have. The first two differ between objective filmmaking excellence and subjective, personal taste. And the third takes into account that the Oscars are the Oscars and rarely do what they should, or ever what I’d like them to. So, it was from this perspective that I evaluated “Django Unchained.” Not surprisingly, I
ruled it out of “who probably will win” pretty quickly, with all the safer bets running around this year (“Argo,” “Zero Dark Thirty,” frickin’ “Lincoln”). But, when I really considered it, it didn’t look all that strong on the other two scales either. The strongest case being made for it on the “Who I want to win” front is a combination of the fact that I still think Tarantino is owed an Oscar for “Pulp Fiction” (and that’s pretty much how the Oscars work anyways right? Ignore somebody’s masterpiece and then give them the award for whatever they do later?) and the fact that it was easily the most fun I had watching any of the nominees. However, do I think this means that it should win, or even that I want it to win? No. After a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching and a lot of coffee, I’ve realized, officially, that this year I want “Beasts of the Southern Wild” to win Best Picture, and I think “Amour” should win it. They’re both movies about growing, with “Beasts” being about having to grow up fast and learning to be independent, and “Amour” being about growing older and watching those you love, and yourself, deteriorate with time. It’s about growing to accept these things. In a lot of ways they’re mir-
ror images of each other. Both stories were told by Oscar nominated directors; however, Benh Zeitlin, who directed “Beasts of the Southern Wild,” was making his first major movie and set it in a weird, sprawling quasi-fantasy world that he shot with a hand-held camera, making it feel extremely raw and intimate. Contrast this with “Amour,” which was made with the hands of legendary, criticallyacclaimed-ever y where-butAmerica-because-he’s-foreign director Michael Haneke. He too manages to create an emotionally raw, intimate picture, but he did it with the smooth, trained hand of a man who seems born to make movies. His movies are usually soul wrenching and dark, but absolutely beautiful to behold.
Wallis somehow managed to be subtle—as a nine year old. There are 30-year-old actors who can’t be subtle.
Aside from the direction of both movies, each of which are original, stunning and flawlessly executed, they each feature a Best Actress nominee who is absolutely brilliant, which again
displays the really creepy sort of parallels that run between these two films. Emmanuelle Riva, nominated for her role in “Amour,” is the oldest Best Actress nominee in Oscar history. Quvenzhane Wallis, who is nine years old (NINE!), is the youngest. And each were respectively great. It’s pretty unbelievable, really. Riva has been doing this longer than most of our parents have been alive, and it shows. Wallis somehow managed to be subtle—as a nine year old. There are 30-year-old actors who can’t be subtle. As hard as it might be for me to admit it, Tarantino should not win Best Picture, and I don’t want him to. There are two very, very good movies, perfectly executed and perfectly deserving of the top honors of the American film industry. “Amour” probably deserves it more, as it’s technically the better movie, made by an unbelievably talented, veteran crew. But “Beasts” is so freaking adorable as a film and Wallis was crazy good (NINE YEARS OLD!). It just hit a spot in my heart. So I want it to win, but really, “Amour” should. And either of them would be miles better than frickin’ “Lincoln.” Still think “Lincoln” is worthy of a clean sweep? Let Austin know at email@example.com.
On the nuances of what writers can do with dialogue Sean Reichard your raison d’être
ow much is there really to say about dialogue in literature? “The characters speak, things are said, quotation marks are used and you move on.” “I don’t know if it’s quite that simple,” I told my co-colloquy conspirator. “In fact, I know it isn’t.” “Well, how much can there really be to it?” “Dialogue can break an author if they’re not careful. It’s the same with a metaphor or a turn of phrase or a plot point—” “—Handle With Care?” he interjected. “Precisely.” “So how much can you say on the subject?” “Not enough, unfortunately. I mean, we don’t really have to worry about a definition, do we?” “Not at all.” “Good. What we can do is talk about simple rules.” “Okay. Shoot.” “Well here’s one: Despite your Nabokovs and your Flauberts haranguing, clichés are a fact of life and your characters will try their damnedest to use them, no matter your own qualms on the subject— which is not to say that you have to condone clichés. Nor
should they be a character’s crutch. But they possess a fearsome longevity.” “Seems like that puts the writer in a bit of a bind.” “To put it mildly.” “Would people get mad anyway?” “Maybe, but if your work is good, it’d all be water under the bridge.” “What next?” “Well, accents, I suppose. Dialect, like something out of Their Eyes Were Watching God or Faulkner. Or some of Dickens’s patented Cockney slang.” “Crikey!” he exclaimed. “Wrong country.” “Sorry. What else?” “Vocabulary, naturally. You can’t reasonably expect a fiveyear-old to be tossing around words like ‘bricolage’ or using phrases like ‘I request, dear dam, a sempiternal coquelicot,’ would you?” “Not at all.” “Another thing to keep in mind is tone. Now, you can employ all sorts of little tics and quirks to affect this. Italics are good—J.D. Salinger would sometimes just italicize a portion of the word to get the cadence right—dashes are also good at conveying rhythm. Ellipses… also work well, but don’t overplay them. Onomatopoeia is also effective. Of course, it’s up to the author to decide how much to tweak plain type with that sort of effect, as long as they do something that satisfies them.” “What about excitement or
volume?” he asked. “Well,” I said. “Again, it’s up to an author’s taste and discretion as to what goes and what doesn’t.” “COULDN’T THEY JUST CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING?” “Shhh! Stop yelling. And no, stuff like that is stupid, 98 percent of the time.” “Says you.” “Yes.” “Well, you’ve got all that stylistic stuff, what about something even more basic?” “Such as?” “Like, quotation marks. Do you always need those?” —Well, James Joyce didn’t use quotation marks in his work; he just made a dash and went from there. —I see, the other said. —It’s a lovely technique, but derivative enough these days that I’d caution against using it. Joyce kind of owns it. So could you just drop the dash if you don’t feel like muddling up the page with quotation marks? What if I do like Cormac McCarthy and just let all the dialogue hang loose and just forgo commas as well and keep the words sinuous and vehement like the quixotic coruscating fireye that leers to calcine evermore the parched and obstinate mesa using vocabulary no reasonable human would be mean enough to unleash? “Yeah… you could do that,” I said. “You got any other tricks?” he asked.
“Well, David Foster Wallace would sometimes just put an ellipsis on the page to denote silence on the part of a character, especially after a particularly long speech. It’s another lovely technique, in principle, but given his stature and legacy, or at least his literary cachet if he isn’t your slice of toast, it can come across as derivative, clichéd, gimmicky or some poor amalgamation of those three.” “…” “Now, the last I’ll say about dialogue is subject matter. That’s another thing that’s up to the author, whether they want to try and replicate real speech, be plain and banal, or forgo that dimension or realism to emphasize disposition, or make some philosophical point, or subvert any degree of separation to make the character the author’s bullhorn. The chief question, I think, is what to have a character say and not have a character say.” “And how do you decide that?” “That’s the question, isn’t it? It depends on the story, on the author, on… unique circumstances.” “So is that all there is to say about dialogue?” he asked. “God no. You could say so much more. Like, it’s a tool of writing in the same way a metaphor or plot is, with an ill-defined set of rules, an ever expanding catalogue, but one that can make or break a writer if they’re not careful.” Want to discuss all the possible avenues of dialogue? Email Sean at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Mayor Soglin weighs in on homelessness
he Daily Cardinal’s Editorial Board met with Mayor Paul Soglin last week for over an hour. The Mayor opened with an informal statement of his priorities and how Madison has changed in the past 20 years. He continued to answer our questions about several of the topics you see below. Here are some of our thoughts on the areas of the city that Soglin commented on regarding the issue of homelessness.
The issue of housing is, obviously, the most visible of the factors contributing to homelessness. According to the mayor, Madison has long been a destination for individuals looking to “start over” due to its diverse economic opportunities, public resources and central location. Often times, families or individuals who move to Madison have no housing or rental record, making it difficult for them to get a loan or lease. And with that being the case, they then must turn to public housing, which is drastically limited and oftentimes insufficient for an entire family. Aside from limited space, the issue of mental health is finally pushing its way into the main stream. Mayor Soglin addressed this as a major concern within the community, and proposed that efforts made toward funding
resources for those who need them will be the foundation for building a healthy community. To be incapable of holding a job is to be incapable of paying monthly rent. To be incapable of paying monthly rent is to be incapable of maintaining a credit score, therefore further slimming one’s chances of stability both in the present as well as in the future. Soglin addressed the fact that funding these resources will be difficult, but we feel starting the conversation and creating awareness is a step in the right direction. For years, Madison has offered quality care and housing for retired seniors who are unable to live on their own. With mental illness oftentimes being a problem among the homeless, many individuals whose illness has not been treated are moving into the senior living establishments, causing concern among other residents. Mayor Soglin addressed this issue by emphasizing the need for more housing specifically catered toward the mentally ill. This housing would staff clinicians trained in administering the proper treatment to the individuals in need. Clearly, as housing is the most physical factor in homelessness, each other facet of this issue will be better resolved following the resolution of this one. And because Soglin started the conversation on this issue, he has gotten the ball rolling.
When funds are tight, and a steady job is absolutely necessary to pay the bills, public transportation becomes a necessary resource. It is obvious that Madison’s public transportation system is subpar at best, especially when it comes to catering transportation services to people other than UW-Madison students. Many low-income people in Madison rely on public transportation as their main way to get around town. Mayor Soglin hopes to increase the number of free or reduced-fee bus passes for families of low-income. This board believes that increased access to the bus system will help low-income individuals get to necessary commitments like job interviews and work. In addition to increasing the free and reduced-cost bus passes, Mayor Soglin also hopes to outfit Madison with a Bus Rapid Transit system. The new bus system would run concurrently with the existing one, except it would have fewer stops and essentially act like a train, where the fee is prepaid and the door would be level with the street to allow patrons easy access. Furthermore, certain areas of the road would be designated for the new Bus Rapid Transit busses, and every bus would be outfitted with wireless internet. While this dream is one this board hopes to see come to fruition, we caution that the city take careful time to plan this. We do not want to see this new system become just another bus students take from the dorms to Ag hall. It is meant for working individuals and should extend into areas around Madison, such as Verona and Middleton, more than the current bus routes do. We want to encourage working people to utilize public transportation, but this won’t happen if it is crowded with students constantly getting off and on. We appreciate the mayor’s hopes for the city of Madison when it comes to transportation. However, we believe he has a lot of work ahead of him. Low-income indi-
Thursday, February 7, 2013 viduals need bus passes quickly if they hope to maintain a job, or even find one, and the new system needs careful planning if it is going to succeed in catering to the working class. Mayor Soglin has some great ideas that he has pulled from cities around the country and we hope some of those plans will come true.
If Mayor Soglin has his way, Madison is going to change the way its residents get food. From more open-air markets, food carts servicing areas other than the beginning of State Street, to ensuring every child has 21 meals a week, Soglin’s ideas revolving around food are something worth talking about. When Soglin talked about what he would like the city do in regard to food, his ideas broke down into two groups. There was food as sustenance, and there was food as a community builder. The importance of food is hard to overstate. Soglin hopes to get more food to his city via openair markets. We hope to see an increase in access to fresh, healthy food, especially in Madison’s less affluent neighborhoods. Also on Soglin’s to-do list is getting hungry children food. Though he admits funding could be tough, this board agrees with Soglin that until someone starts talking, nothing will happen. All of this is important, because food helps build communities. With events like Meet and Eat, where food carts met at Meadowood for two nights a month, and more food markets, people get a chance to meet each other. With well-fed kids, communities can expect better grades, and in turn, better schools. We hope to see Soglin convince the city of Madison to continue to improve access to food.
In a system where education is seen as the major force to help
drive individuals out of poverty, the lack of a quality education is intrinsically linked to remaining in poverty. Currently, approximately half of the children in Madison public schools are considered “low income.” Soglin recognized that certain measures should be taken to better educate students. We believe these measures are key to helping Madison’s lower income families, but unfortunately recognize that finding funding for these programs could be difficult. Soglin acknowledged that children who are exposed to “trauma” at home in the form of violence or hunger do not come to school prepared and eager to learn. Even if a child receives free or reduced lunch, if that child comes to school on Monday without having eaten all weekend, the odds they will process what they are being taught are slim. This, interwoven with Soglin’s food plans, would help stabilize the “trauma” of hunger and broken family dynamics. While UW students’ participation in volunteering in schools and after school programming is critical, volunteers need to remain committed for at least a semester. These K-12 students need stability, and having a different tutor every other week does not facilitate their educational development. We very much appreciate Mayor Soglin’s insistence on a time commitment for volunteers. We also appreciate the city’s efforts to implement a “parents’ university” program, where parents receive training on how to be involved in their child’s education from the time they are born until the time they graduate. Having a support system at home for students is essential to help children see the importance in their education. Do you think that Mayor Soglin’s propositions will be effective? Please send feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Obama’s drone program dangerous for Americans Jon vruwink opinion columnist
n impending investigation pertaining to the legality of drone strikes by Ben Emmerson, the U.N. special rapporteur on human rights and counterterrorism, offers a vital opportunity to reflect upon the morality and efficacy of a technology that has become a hallmark of President Barack Obama's foreign policy. The expansion and entrenchment of this capability as a central component of U.S. military power under Obama's tenure has received far too little discussion, especially in light of disturbing findings regarding the extent of civilian casualties and psychological trauma resulting from this targeted killing program. Despite repeated assurances from the administration that accidental civilian casualties, commonly grouped under the euphemism "collateral damage," have been sparse, a thorough investigation by the London-based Bureau of Investigative Journalism discredits this contention.
According to the bureau's report, the U.S. has launched 362 drone strikes against alleged militants in Pakistan since 2004, 310 of them ordered under President Obama. These strikes have resulted in the reported deaths of between 2,629 and 3,461 people, between 475 and 891 of them civilians, and 176 of them children. Not surprisingly, 74 percent of Pakistanis now consider the U.S. an enemy nation. The latter statistic on Pakistani public opinion comes from a report co-authored by researchers from Stanford University Law School and NYU School of Law titled "Living Under Drones: Death, Injury, and Trauma to Civilians From US Drone Practices in Pakistan." The report documents the acute terror and anxiety under which residents of northwest Pakistan live as a result of having drones flying overhead 24 hours a day, ready to launch lethal airstrikes without warning. The inhabitants of this region of Pakistan have drastically altered their behavior to minimize the probability of
drawing the attention of drone pilots. Religious and cultural groups meet in public as seldom as possible, while parents pull their children, especially those who have witnessed firsthand the carnage of a drone attack, out of school, considering them safer at home. Even more horrifying, both residents and humanitarian workers have become rightfully hesitant to rescue those injured by drone strikes, due to the tendency of drone pilots to bomb the same area several times in succession. So far, according to the bureau report, at least 50 civilians have perished from these follow-up strikes while trying to rescue their fallen neighbors. In a similarly chilling vein, drone strikes have also targeted those attending the funerals of drone victims, killing a further 20 civilians. With this policy in place, grieving friends and relatives of the deceased have to decide whether to literally risk their lives by attending the funerals of their loved ones. Emmerson, the UN special rapporteur, specifically highlighted his intention to investigate
strikes on rescuers and funeral attendees in announcing his review of the drone program. The defenders of the drone program who do acknowledge the toll taken on civilian populations—and many, including members of the administration, do not acknowledge this reality, in spite of extensive documentation—rather callously argue that we must accept these innocent deaths, this "collateral damage," due to the pressing need to eliminate terrorist networks. Once again, a look at the details on the ground reveals that the drone program accomplishes the exact opposite result. The Stanford/NYU report estimates that a mere 2 percent of total casualties merit classification as "high-level" targets. Consequently, anti-U.S. sentiment and a desire for vengeance among those who have lost friends and family through drone strikes have risen precipitously, meaning this program of targeted killing not only terrorizes civilian populations, but ultimately makes the U.S. less, not more, safe.
Notably, I have only discussed the ramifications of the drone program in Pakistan. The U.S. has so far conducted drone strikes against the populations of six additional countries: Yemen, Somalia, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan and the Philippines, with similar symptoms to those experienced by afflicted Pakistani populations. I strongly encourage you to consult the reports mentioned above, along with any other research you come across, to weigh whether or not we want this lethal technology to define the conduct of our foreign policy. Ultimately, though the eventual U.N. report should prove enlightening, we need not wait for its release in five months' time in order to grasp the truly dreadful consequences of the drone program. How do you feel about President Obama’s drone program? Do you feel safer knowing unmanned aircraft are fighting our wars? We want to know what you think! Please send all feedback to email@example.com, and visit our website, dailycardinal. com for more content!
It’s not quite Friday
My stomach is signaling gold rush... For $425 each “Gold pills” are being sold that will turn your poop into glittering gold. Thursday, February 7, 2013 • 7
By Dylan Moriarty www.EatinCake.com
© Puzzles by Pappocom
By Melanie Shibley firstname.lastname@example.org
Solution, tips and computer program available at www.sudoku.com.
Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.
By Nick Kryshak email@example.com
Today’s Crossword Puzzle
First in Twenty
By Angel Lee firstname.lastname@example.org
By Steven Wishau email@example.com
Answer key available at www.dailycardinal.com
COMMON CONNECTIONS ACROSS 1 Part of an archipelago 5 “I really didn’t say everything I said” sayer 10 Spot in a crowd 14 Balkan citizen 15 Battleship’s protection 16 Arctic Ocean danger 17 Adds up 19 “Huckleberry ___” 20 TV friend of Doug Heffernan 21 Puts into motion 23 Buccaneer’s port 26 PC support person 27 Commanders of fleets 30 Miserable person 33 Hardly muted 34 Amoeba centers 36 Pool gear 37 Fairy tale meany 38 Respectful Bombay title 39 Where to live and learn? 40 Like some jazz cats 41 Colonial “masters” 44 Otherwise 45 Guru’s place 47 Indebted
49 Downward dog discipline 50 Run off and form a union 51 Former Spanish gold coin 54 Jamaican music 58 Go it alone 59 It has its supporters 62 Midnight twinkler 63 Ear bone 64 Rear of a plane 65 Fancy shooting marbles 66 ___-mouthed (evasive) 67 Historical spans DOWN 1 Theories 2 Sound before “Thanks, I needed that!” 3 One place to get fresh water 4 Latter part of the day 5 Any of three infielders 6 “Able was I ___ I saw Elba” 7 JFK debater in ‘60 8 “Titanic” female lead 9 Questioning words with “a pair” and “all” 10 Wipe off completely 11 It might involve a small case of the sniffles
1 2 Indian cornbread 13 Pinings 18 Permanent body mark 22 “Ginger Spice” Halliwell 24 Deeply piled 25 Assign (to) 27 See ya in Hawaii? 28 Venetian rulers of old 29 “Anything that can go wrong will” 31 A mummy may have one 32 Atlas and others 35 Defamatory text 39 Assign 41 Pudding starch 42 Dental filling material 43 Any minute now 46 Chopper blades 48 Oil pricing gp. 51 Whispered call 52 Itty-bitty bit 53 Bald eagle cousin 55 Kind of gum in food preparation 56 Georgia’s locale 57 Congers 60 Juan Peron’s first lady 61 Be less than healthy
Charlie and Boomer Classic
By Natasha Soglin firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday February 7, 2013 DailyCardinal.com
J.J. Watt’s actions off the field are bigger than his actions on it
Rex Sheild rex’s higher education
W wil gibb/the daily cardinal
Despite scoring just five points, freshman Sam Dekker (15) came up big when it mattered most, nailing a 3-pointer in the second overtime to help secure Wisconsin’s 74-70 win over Iowa.
Badgers defeat Iowa in double OT thriller By Max Sternberg the daily cardinal
It had been nearly two full years since the Wisconsin men’s basketball team had beaten Iowa and with six minutes left still facing a nine-point deficit, it looked as if the Badgers were going to add yet another year to the drought. But this time UW responded to the adversity, tying the game on the strength of an 11-2 run and eventually heading to overtime after a 3-pointer by sophomore point guard Traevon Jackson knotted the score at 58 with 20 seconds left. Although the Badgers managed just a single field goal in two overtime periods, they eventually outlasted the Hawkeyes by making 13-of-14 free throws in the 74-70 double overtime victory. To say the Badgers (7-3 Big Ten, 16-7 overall) escaped Wednesday night would be a massive understatement. The Hawkeyes (3-7, 14-9) forced 12 turnovers and grabbed 18 offensive rebounds, converting them into 17 second-chance points and 15 points off turnovers. After Wisconsin built an 11-point first half lead, Iowa took control for most of the duration, following a technical foul by Iowa head coach Fran McCaffery with a 34-14 run that appeared to be enough for yet another upset in Madison. Once again, the shots simply weren’t falling for Wisconsin. UW started the second half 5-for-20 from the field and managed to shoot just 12-for-45 in the 2nd half and overtime. But after being out-rebounded at one point by 12, the Badgers started to control the glass and make shots, doing just enough to get into overtime. Once there, Wisconsin made just one field goal in 10 minutes, winning the game at the foul line to the surprise of many in the
Kohl Center crowd. “To close that gap after we were down nine and send it to overtime, “ head coach Bo Ryan said. “That was really gutsy by our guys.” Although at times shaky, the senior core ultimately came through in the clutch for the Badgers. Senior forward Jared Berggren broke out of a mini-slump with 16 points, 14 rebounds and 7 blocks for his second career double double. After struggling at the free throw line again during regulation, Berggren made all four of his free throws in the two overtime periods.
“It’s a win that hopefully gives us confidence against Michigan coming up. Hopefully we can ride this wave and get a streak going.” Sam Dekker freshman forward Wisconsin basketball
“You get things rolling a bit,” Berggren said of the free throw success. “It’s a free throw, its an easy shot and it should be automatic.” Wisconsin’s comeback was fueled by a quick stretch that, in essence, woke up a sleeping giant. Down nine in the closing minutes, junior guard Ben Brust hit an open jumper for three of his game-high 18 points. Junior forward Ryan Evans then found Berggren inside for a traditional threepoint play just seconds later, immediately putting the Badgers within a bucket. “We had two breakdowns immediately,” McCaffery said. “That changed everything because it makes it a one possession game really quickly.” “It was good that we got something positive,” Brust said. “Offensively we were in a bit of a
slump there.” While it seemed UW might have dodged a bullet by getting the game into overtime, things did not get any easier heading into the extra frame. Wisconsin failed to notch a single field goal in the first overtime, sending the game to a second extra frame on the backs of a 4-for-4 effort at the free throw line. Once in the second OT, Wisconsin continued to assert itself at the charity stripe, making 9-of-10 while hitting just a single shot from the field. Fortunately, that shot was a three-pointer by freshman forward Sam Dekker with just 1:37 left, giving the Badgers a three-point lead they would never relinquish. “We just kept working,” Berggren said. “We just kept working, showed a lot of fight, and did just enough to get the win.” One of the reasons Wisconsin was able to overcome another poor shooting effort was the defensive effort on Iowa’s leading scorer, sophomore forward Aaron White. Having dominated UW in the past, White did not have as much of an impact Wednesday night, finishing with 13 points but just a 3-for-13 effort from the floor. “Overall we did a good job,” Dekker said of the defense on White. “He almost brought them back at the end.” The Badgers now continue a brutal stretch of play with three straight games against ranked opponents starting with Saturday’s game against No. 3 Michigan. Still squarely in the midst of a tight Big Ten title race, the Badgers know this was an important victory. “Its a win that hopefully gives us confidence against Michigan coming up,” Dekker said. “Hopefully we can ride this wave and get a streak going.”
ith all the hype surrounding National Signing Day and the various recruiting sites around the web glorifying 17- and 18-year old young men, it is tough to imagine a two-star recruit from Pewaukee High School being any sort of a playmaker at the collegiate level, much less the National Football League. Yet, after the season former Badger standout and current Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt just had, it looks like anything is possible in the world of sports with Watt’s mantra: “Dream Big Work Hard.” The phrase looks pretty simplistic to me on the surface. Heck, anyone can dream big and work hard but Watt talked the talk and, more importantly, walked the walk, earning 2012 AP Defensive Player of the Year honors in the process. Watt didn’t even start out at the position that analysts and fans salivate over; instead earning a scholarship to play tight end at Central Michigan, a program that was graced with his presence for a year.
I root for him because he is an even better person off the field than he is on the field and those are big shoes to fill.
All right, so maybe the recruiting sites were right, maybe Watt was nothing more than a lousy twostar recruit. Think again. After his transfer from Central Michigan, Watt traded in his pizza delivery hat for a spot on the Badgers roster and resorted back to his mantra of “Dream Big Work Hard” to prove the doubters wrong. It certainly proved them wrong as Watt would go on to earn AllAmerican honors during his time in the red and white before declaring for the 2011 NFL Draft. The result of Watt’s fourword mantra in the NFL helped him shine on the national stage during his two first years in the
league. During his rookie campaign, Watt registered 48 tackles and 5.5 sacks. He followed that up with a historic season as he accumulated a whopping 20.5 sacks, 69 sacks and an NFL-record 16 tipped passes. Statistically, it was regarded as one of the greatest defensive seasons in Texans history and even in NFL history. Not too bad for a kid who used to deliver pizzas. While his statistics are off the charts, that’s not why I root for him. I root for him because he is an even better person off the field than he is on the field and those are big shoes to fill. He started the J.J. Watt Foundation, which provides “after-school opportunities for children in the community to become involved in athletics.” He has been aggressively active in the Houston community, making regular visits to local children’s hospitals and serving as a role model to countless people, both young and old. He is not about the glitz or glamour, but rather a solid Wisconsin kid who brings his lunch bucket to work everyday on the gridiron and in the community. While his story is remarkable in its own right, Wisconsin fans should not be shocked by another Badger making a name for himself at the next level. Past players like Scott Tolzien, Joe Panos, Justin Leonhard and Mark Tauscher to name a few who were fairly under the radar coming out of high school but all earned a spot on their respective NFL teams. Whether it’s Watt or Tolzien or whoever it may be, it’s hard not to root for these guys, no matter where your college allegiance stands. Despite my disgust for its publicity, National Signing Day will continue to have prevalence in the years to come and five-star recruits will continue to draw the headlines. On the other hand, guys like Watt will be undervalued by so-called “pundits.” Wisconsin will continue to see their fair share of undervalued recruits under head coach Gary Andersen but as long as they carry Watt’s mantra of “Dream Big, Work Hard,” anything is possible. Do you think that undervalued recruits will continue to carry the Badgers? Can J.J. Watt repeat his Defensive Player of the year awards? Let Rex know what you think at email@example.com
Badgers add 19 on Signing Day 19 high school and junior college athletes signed their letters of intent Wednesday, completing the 2013 recruiting class for the Wisconsin football team on National Signing Day. “These young men were very willing for the most part to conform to what the University of Wisconsin gave them in a world class education and tremendous facilities and the tradition of football,” head coach Gary Andersen said Wednesday. “A successful class is a great football program, and the
expectation is to be great at the University of Wisconsin. That’s a simple statement, but you’re going to hear me say this a lot in the next year.” The Badgers’ recruiting class was ranked 33rd by ESPN, and gave fourstar grades to running back Corey Clement, defensive end Alec James, offensive tackle Jack Keeler, linebacker Garret Dooley and cornerback Sojourn Shelton. The class was also ranked fifth overall in the Big Ten conference. matt masterson/the daily cardinal