5 Ways to Deal with Partner's Defensive Behavior One of the most harmful behaviors in an intimate relationship is defensiveness. Defensive behavior generates a negative reciprocal rhythm between partners. When your partner becomes defensive, you are likely to defend your actions as well. Both sides put up lines of defense, quick to fortify their positions with targeted criticism of the other to bolster their stances. Communication spirals downward and the repair is harder to achieve. Defensiveness leads to tension, frustration, anger, rudeness, chronic arguments. It blocks the chances for you to grow together, can develop a sense of loneliness, and can destroy the quality of the relationship. Research by The Gottman Institute points to defensive behavior as one of the leading causes of divorce. Many weekend couples retreats teach couples remedies to defensive behavior.
How can you avoid this toxic communication pattern? The following tips can help you to bring peace to your relationship.