April Fools 2014

Inside Today: Other people’s business, p3; Parent appeasement, p4; That’s like, your opinion, man; p13

MONDAY

TELLURIDE

Sociologist in town researching ‘extraordinary’ case of first world problems

APRIL 1, 2014 VOLUME 20, NUMBER 1,898

www.telluridedailyplanet.com

By KATY KLINGON

A Don’t quote me but...

“I shouldn’t have eaten the entire brownie.”

Whip Cracker

sociologist who is researching the burgeoning field of “first world problems” is in Telluride to study what he calls an “extraordinary concentration” of the phenomenon.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Charles Bender, PhD, a

Bender: ‘I’ve never seen anything like it’ fellow of contemporary sociology at the University of Chicago.

“Both the scope and the depth of first world problems in Telluride are unmatched in nearly every

other place I’ve been.”

First world problems are defined as frustrations and complaints that are only experienced by privileged individuals

— Saddam Hussein, spotted at this year’s Telluride Comedy Fest

HARC: SPOTLIGHT CAFÉ IS HISTORIC

Tuesday: • Is my GoPro on?: 11 a.m., Lift 5 • First world mountain town problems: 1 p.m., bench on main street • Town Meeting: Preparing for the Dustpocalypse: 3 p.m., Becky Hall • Selfies: all day, middle of main street, Lift 15, top of Baldy, Gorrono Ranch, Lift 4, Gold Hill, Black Iron Bowl, Palmyra, #telluride #skiing #colorado #powder #livinthedream #bluebird #awesome #mountains #isthisablackdiamond? #googletan #paradise #avalanche #iloveguskenworthy #puppies #ankledeeppow #wahoo

Puts major wrench in Four Corners plan

By EMILY PORNSKLINGER

A

Someone on the podium Coming Wednesday: Can somebody get me a press release?

See PUPPIES, Page 2

See CAFÉ, Page 2

GUS-U-RIDE

Telluride changes its name to Gus-U-Ride

Forecast: Tuesday will be partly sunny with a 100 percent chance of dirty snow, GoPros in Prospect Basin and Coop skiing Mak-M.

Tuesday Focus: Local kids who ski good

osity of the town’s leaders. In an overdose of cuteness, the Valley Floor will now be known as Gus’ Puppy Sanctuary.

“The puppies will be able to frolic in the fields and play with the prairie dogs,” Stuball said.

“Maybe they will even eat a few of them and help control their population. It’s a win-win.”

But not everyone was happy with the town’s name change.

Local councilperson and history champion Blider Gob was in favor of keeping the town’s name of Telluride. Although Gob admitted “Telluride” is kind of a weird name and no one really knows where it came from, he said the town should continue to

Telluride resident Matty Keller was sentenced to one day tied up outside O’Bannon’s under Telluride’s harsh new dog law after being convicted of repeatedly leaving his own dog, Irie, tied up on outside the bar for hours in the cold. Keller was not happy about the punishment, but noted that it was “better than community service.” [Photo by Colon McCracken]

Muse: Got something wise, witty, illuminating or emo to say? This space is for rent. See ad on page 7 for more details.

Valley Floor now puppy sanctuary, cuteness ensues

By HEATHCLIFF SOCK-IT-TO-ME

T

Ink-stained Wretch

he Telluride Town Council on Thursday signed a proclamation officially changing the name of the historic mining town to Gus-U-Ride in honor of the Olympic silver medalist who calls this place home.

Telluride native Gus Kentmore stood on the podium of the first-ever slopestyle skiing event at the Olympic Winter Games in Sochi, Russia. And Telluride’s citizens went nuts. The homegrown athlete received a parade, fireworks and street named in his honor upon his return. But it wasn’t enough.

“We just felt like we had to do something to really honor him

and his accomplishments,” said Telluride Mayor Frazier Stuball.

“Plus, he’s just so photogenic: good looking, perfect teeth, like a million twitter followers. I mean, how could we not name the town after him?”

And that’s not all. The Valley Floor, which the town won ownership of in a hard-fought battle with developers a few years ago, will now be dedicated puppy habitat. Kentmore rescued 700 stray puppies from the mean streets of Sochi and smuggled them back to Telluride. But because of a lack of affordable housing for people with dogs, there was nowhere for them to live. It would have been back to the streets if not for the foresight and gener-

Word Slave

major hurdle has emerged for the developers proposing to build a cultural campus at the “Four Corners” intersection of Pacific Avenue and Fir Streets.

The preliminary development plan, which was brought forward in January, proposes a number of drastic changes for the intersection. Among them is a proposal for Village Market to be replaced with a mixed-use building.

But Telluride’s Historic and Architectural Review Commission has just announced that the Spotlight Café, the hot food case located in the back of the store, is indeed a historic structure with contributing status.

“The Spotlight is quite significant,” said HARC Chairman Haste McDougal. “Records show that in fact, Nikola Tesla first wired it. And over the years it has played a major role in Telluride’s history as a Victorian mining town.”

Structurally, he said, the Spotlight shows all the hallmarks of being built during Telluride’s period of significance, which was from 1878-1913.

“Based on the architecture, I would say it was built pre-1900,” McDougal said. “Like the Sheridan Opera House or the Miner’s Union, it contributes greatly to the distinct character of the community, and the HARC board strongly believes that it should be preserved.”

McDougal noted that the Spotlight likely also fed miners, who would have stopped in for

Leashed

Weather

IN ORBIT:

See FIRST WORLD, Page 2

HISTORY

Calendar

Wednesday: • GoPro Yoga: 8 a.m., library • Skiing in jeans: 10 a.m., Misty Maiden, because why not?

• Hear about other people’s amazing offseason beach plans: 12:45 p.m., line at Butcher and the Baker • I can get you a toe: 3 o’clock this afternoon, with nail polish • Squabbling and mudslinging: 5 p.m., library, SMARF board meeting • Tourists in ski boots: 5:30 p.m., The Buck • Cooking Class: Delectable Edibles — From Gooballs to Brownies, How to Make a Batch that Won’t Make You Lose Your Mind: 7 p.m., HaHa School

in affluent communities. Bender teaches a course called “My daddy won’t pay for my nose job” and is working on a book of the same name on the subject. His research led him to Telluride, he said, where he is finding a wealth of information.

Bender said that while typi-

2

APRIL 1, 2014

NEWS

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Case of first world problems FIRST WORLD, from page 1

See NEWS happening?

We want to hear from you!

Send us your photos and story ideas.

cal first world problems involve things like too much goat cheese in a roasted beet salad or having to watch a movie that is not in HD, Telluride’s problems go a step further.

“What I’ve found is that the general populace’s FWPs range from ‘it only snowed five inches last night’ to ‘the kale here is too wilted’ and ‘the nearest Range Rover dealership is in Denver,’” he said. “The breadth of firstworld problems is fascinating.”

Other FWPs that he noted: “I had to get up early to stand in the powder line; the free bus is too slow; it got cloudy when I was sitting on a bench on main street; it’s difficult to fly a private plane into the airport; the lift line is seven people deep; there aren’t enough yoga classes in the middle of the day; my hot tub water is cloudy; I have to ride my bike all the way to Shadoka; It’s hard to carry my skis and walk in ski boots to the base of the mountain; the Bluegrass mu-

sic is too loud; my view will be compromised by new affordable housing; Lift 9 takes too long; my dog can’t come into certain businesses and I can’t get into this concert for free.”

Bender has rented an apartment in Montrose and plans to set up shop in the area for his research. He thinks he might even have enough material for a second book.

He’s thinking of calling it: “That rainbow’s pretty and all, but now I’m all wet.”

Email our Editorial Department at editor@telluridedailyplanet.com

Locals Happy Hour at Palmyra Bar and Decks!

7 Days a week from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.

TELLURIDE’S BEST BURGER & DRAFT BEER

$10

970-728-6800 | www.thepeaksresort.com A T

T H E

Follow us on

P E A K S

@palmyradining

*Authentic *

ETROIT STYLE PIZZA

ONE SMALL STEP FOR PIZZA,

The Valley Floor is now home to Gus’ rescued puppies. [Photo by Regina Phalange]

#1 PAN PIZZA IN THE W ORLD

ONE GIANT LEAP FOR PIZZA KIND...

Telluride changes its name PUPPIES, from page 1

110 East Colorado Ave. • (970) 728-8046 Delivery 6-9pm (Town Only, $5 fee)

www.BrownDogPizza.com • 11am-10pm Every Day

ne eers t n lu

Vo

ede

d

I

Telluride Animal Foundation

Gismo

Gismo is a year old cutie that loves to be loved. He is looking for his forever home.

Ron is an energetic Pit Bull/ German Shepherd mix. He loves to run and is completely housebroken.

Ron

SHELTER SPOTLIGHT Montrose For PetsAnimal SakeShelter 3383 North Townsend Avenue Cortez, CO 970-565-7387 970-240-1487 info@forpetssakehs.org

Telluride THRIFT

SHOP

The Telluride Thrift Shop is seeking gently-used items. All proceeds are disbursed by the Telluride Animal Foundation, a nonprofit serving animal welfare groups in Colorado and beyond.

www.tellurideanimalfoundation.org

335 West Colorado Ave. 970-728-1100 335West W Colorado 335 ColoradoAve Ave.970-728-1100 970-728-1100Open OpenWed-Sun Wed-Sun12-5 12-5 Open 7-days/week 11-6

hang onto Telluride in the spirit of history and tradition.

“I think it was named after tellurium, a kind of mineral mined here or something,” Gob said. “No, wait. I think it actually came from ‘To Hell You Ride.’

OK, you’re right. They probably should have just stuck with ‘Columbia’ in the first place.”

The town has not said how they plan on addressing the enormous amount of dog poop that is sure to soon fill the Valley Floor. Dog poop has been proliferating recently in the wake of a much-loved Nugget Theatre public service announcement asking people to clean up after their dogs being replaced with a PSA about how to do CPR.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Stuball said, referring to replacing the dog poop PSA. “We thought teaching people how to save lives was more important. But man, you are not even gonna be able to walk on the Valley Floor now without stepping in some dog crap.”

Spotlight Café is historic CAFÉ, from page 1

warm sausage and egg sandwiches, fried chicken and gravy, sushi and spaghetti before heading out to the mines for the day.

“This establishment is vital to the fabric of our historic character,” he said.

McDougal believes that an oversight must have led to the Spotlight Café not being designated as a historic building under Telluride’s National Historic Landmark District. But he says the HARC board intends to change that.

The town has hired a consultant to conduct a formal investi-

gation of the café’s history and is now considering building a museum or plaque to commemorate its importance. The Telluride Historical Museum is also working on the project.

The Four Corners developers, meanwhile, say they are reconsidering their plans and will come back to the town with a new draft in the coming months.

“We of course respect historic structures and will do what we can to preserve the notable history of the Spotlight,” said Bill Powers, who represents the project. “It’s a Telluride institution whose importance appears

to have been overlooked, and we intend to change that.”

Right now, the Four Corners”intersection is home to the Village Market, Baked in Telluride, an empty lot, the shell of an old warehouse, a historic building and a parking area.

The plan proposed to turn the neighborhood from a quiet collection of buildings and lots to a bustling campus for artistic, intellectual and feature things like first world problem seminars, Dustpocalypse workshops and gaper theme parties.

Inside Today: The View, p5; News, p6; Voices, p10; Business, p12; Orbit, the back page

TUESDAY

WEATHER

Winds bring dust, but no snow

APRIL 1, 2014 VOLUME 20, NUMBER 64

www.telluridedailyplanet.com

By COLLIN MCRANN

S Don’t quote me but...

“Have you ever wondered what the solar powered two-way audio systems in the gondola cars do?

NSA would be envious. The X-Rated Gondola Confessions, 2013-2014 will be published next week. Bribes are being accepted.”

Staff reporter

pring dust storms have returned to Southern Colorado, darkening the sky, coating the snow in red and depositing particles that will likely hasten the snowmelt.

The Silverton-based Center for Snow & Avalanche Studies, which keeps detailed records of local dust events, has recorded four dust storms so far in 2014.

Latest dust storm darkens the sky, coats snowpack The first dust event was on Feb. 16 and the next three were on March 17, 26 and on Sunday.

Sunday’s dust storm came late in the day, bringing a haze that obscured the mountains and gave a sepia tinge to the clouds. According to the center’s wind cen-

sors, the winds came mostly from the west and southwest, which means most of the dust likely originated in southern Utah.

A post on the center’s blog (www.codos.org/#log) about Sunday’s dust storm described it as a significant dust event

AMBASSADOR THOMAS GRAHAM TALKS NUCLEAR POWER WITH TELLURIDE

Calendar

Tuesday • Prenatal Yoga: 9-10 a.m., library • Telluride Town Council: 10 a.m., Rebekah Hall • Homebuyer Class: 5-9 p.m., SMRHA • Talking Gourds: 6 p.m., Arroyo • Resumes: 6-8 p.m., Ah Haa • Movie: “Non-Stop” (PG-13) 5:30 p.m., “Winter’s Tale” (PG-13) 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre Wednesday • Yoga with Carrie: 8-9 a.m., library • BaaBaa Basics: 3-5 p.m., Needle Rock • “A Fierce Green Fire”: 6-8 p.m., library • Movie: “Winter’s Tale” (PG-13) 5:30 p.m., “Non-Stop” (PG-13) 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

Muse: Well, there goes our snowpack.

Thanks a lot, evil dust storm.

Forecast: Tuesday will be partly sunny with a high near 41, wind gusts of up to 45 mph and a small chance of snow showers.

Face off

Telluride Senior Matt Sandovol wins the face-off against Eagle Valley during the Telluride Lacrosse Team’s varsity game at Cerise Park Saturday in Montrose. [Photo courtesy of Stephenie Gray/www.allaboutyourphotography.com]

RIVERS

San Miguel tributary flowing free Diversion dam removed from Tabeguache Creek

Sock it to Cancer In memory of Angie Burchett, family and friends are encouraging the community to participate in the San Juan Cancer Center’s “Sock it to Cancer” campaign, which helps make the Caring Friends Fund possible. Donations can be mailed to The Caring Friends Fund, c/o San Juan Healthcare Foundation, 800 S. Third St., Montrose, CO, 81401.

IN ORBIT: Tuesday Focus: Sports & Recreation McCargo tops the podium Coming Wednesday: Lifestyle, Home & Food

See DUST, Page 9

ENERGY

— Anonymous Gondola Hackers

Weather

that blew over Silverton, just east of Telluride, in plumes and changed the color of the sky. The situation in Telluride was similar with orange-hued clouds thick with dust and strong gusts of wind. Slopes at the Telluride Ski Resort are also covered in dust, but it’s unknown how much dust actually fell.

Dust can be a major contributor to early snowmelt because

By KATIE KLINGSPORN

I

Editor

n the 1930s, a 6-foot-tall, 60-feet-wide diversion dam was built in Tabeguache Creek, just upstream from its confluence with the San Miguel River, for the purposes of providing water to the Town of Uravan.

That dam remained for roughly 80 years, even as the uranium mining town was abandoned, declared a Superfund Site and razed in a reclamation project.

When Uravan shuttered, the dam stopped diverting water for human consumption. It continued, however, to block upstream passage to three species of native fish that rely on warm-water

tributaries for their spawning grounds.

Until recently, that is. Thanks to a Bureau of Land Management project that was supported by the San Miguel Watershed Coalition and Nature Conservancy, the diversion dam was dismantled earlier this month.

Following two years of research, planning and securing funding, it took crews from Reams Construction a day and a half to pull all of the concrete out of the streambed.

And just like that, Tabeguache Creek was flowing free.

Peter Mueller, who is both the Nature Conservancy’s Southwestern Colorado Project Direc-

tor and a board member on the Watershed Coalition, said the removal was a great thing to witness.

“One of the things that is so critical for the Nature Conservancy, the Coalition and BLM is that the native fish use these tributaries for spawning,” Mueller said. “And so to be able to remove this diversion structure and open up another eight miles of habitat, with full cooperation of both private landowners and the federal government … we were really excited about it.”

Amanda Clements, an ecologist with the BLM, said the project came about when the agenSee RIVER, Page 9

Expert on nonproliferation believes in nuclear energy

By HEATHER SACKETT

A

Associate Editor

mbassador Thomas Graham Jr. paid a visit to Telluride recently, stopping by the American Room at the Sheridan to talk about his career, nuclear proliferation and nuclear energy.

Graham is an expert on nuclear non-proliferation and has advised Presidents Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton on nuclear issues. Graham was involved with each international arms control treaty from 1970 to 1997 and was the acting director of the U.S. Arms Control and Disarmament Agency. He also has authored many books on non-proliferation.

The use of atomic bombs at the end of WWII changed everything, he said.

“For the first time, humanity had a weapon with which it could destroy itself,” Graham said. “One should never underSee POWER, Page 9

YOUR MOVIES. LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THEM. Experience your movies at your fingertips.

Call us for a private appointment in our showroom to preview the Kaleidescape System and Online Store.

160 Society Drive, Suite H Telluride, CO 81435

970.728.2933 viahome.com

Now Starting at $3,995

4

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

MIKE “Z” ZUENDEL, GRI BROKER ASSOCIATE

Professionally Representing the Interests of Buyers and Sellers

the name you need to know for Telluride Real Estate

140 POLECAT LANE • 4 Bedrooms & 3 ½ Baths • Ski Access to Double Cabins Ski Run • More photos at www.140Polecat.com

UNIT 6 TRAMONTANA CONDOMINIUM • 3 Bedrooms & 4 Bath • 2454 sq ft condo • Fantastic location near village core • More photos at www.Tramontana6.com

Offered at $2,450,000

HOMEZUENDEL@MSN.COM

Offered at $1,895,000

(970) 708.5186

OPINION

APRIL 1, 2014

TRUE STORIES MAN WANTS LIVE ON MY WAY

A Gloucester, Mass., man wants to change the name of his street to My Way, not because he’s a Frank Sinatra fan, but because he loves his wife so much.

Bill Coletti has asked the city to approve the name change in honor of his wife of 24 years, Myra, who goes by My. The road, with just the one house, is currently called Gilson Way after the home’s previous owner. But the Colettis have lived there 13 years and think it’s time for a change.

PALM SPRINGS GIVE BIG SEND-OFF TO GIANT MARILYN

Palm Springs is singing “Goodbye, Norma Jean.”

Well over 1,000 people attended a send-off for a massive statue of Marilyn Monroe that has become beloved by both tourists and locals in the two years it was on loan from The Sculpture Foundation.

The Desert Sun reports the downtown party included a performance by the Palm Springs Gay Men’s Chorus. Guests included Carol Channing, who originated on Broadway the role Monroe played in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET Publisher: Andrew Mirrington, ext. 22 publisher@telluridedailyplanet.com Editor: Katie Klingsporn, ext. 12 Associate Editor: Heather Sackett, ext. 14 editor@telluridedailyplanet.com Reporter: Collin McRann, ext. 18 collin@telluridedailyplanet.com Photographer: Melissa Plantz, melissa@melissaplantz.com Columnists and Contributors: Jim Hollrah, Sean McNamara, Bobbie Shaffer, Michelle Curry Wright, Thom Carnevale, David Brankley Calendar e-mail: calendar@telluridedailyplanet.com Associate Publisher: Dusty Atherton, ext. 24 dusty@telluridedailyplanet.com Sales and Marketing Manager: Maureen Pelisson, ext. 21 maureen@telluridedailyplanet.com Account Executive: Anna Goller, ext. 20 anna@telluridedailyplanet.com Classifieds Account Representative: Erin Thompson, ext. 10 erin@telluridedailyplanet.com Classified e-mail: classifieds@telluridedailyplanet.com Office Manager: Shelly Bolus, ext. 16 shelly@telluridedailyplanet.com Production Manager: Nola Svoboda, ext. 26 nola@telluridedailyplanet.com Design/Production: Charlene Downing charlene@telluridedailyplanet.com Circulation: Telluride Delivers, Ellen Metrick Subscriptions: 970-728-9788 Telluride Daily Planet is owned and operated by Telluride Newspapers, Inc., P.O. Box 2315, Telluride, Colorado 81435.

Phone: 970-728-9788; Fax: 970-728-8061; Editorial fax: 970-728-9793; Online edition: www.telluridedailyplanet.com Telluride Daily Planet (Incorporating the Telluride Times/Times-Journal, 1898-1998) (USPS 5373-60) (ISSN 1085-1704) is published daily by Telluride Newspapers, Inc. Telluride, Colorado 81435. Subscription rate $139 for Friday only and $199 for Friday and Sunday. Postmaster: Send address changes to: Telluride Daily Planet, P.O. Box 2315, Telluride, Colorado 81435. Copyright ©2011 Telluride Newspapers, Inc.

The View

Boosting literacy, fighting poverty ages birth through 8 read books in order to “climb” the challenge mountain that they helped create, a replica of Lone Cone Mountain (a prominent local landmark) and earn a free book for every 25 books they read. We just rolled out the challenge a few weeks ago and have already meriCorps recognizes had several children earn free that poverty, in many books.

Behind the scenes, I have had cases, is a generational condition, and VISTAs the privilege of working closely (Volunteers in Service with Cathy James, director of to America) like me seek to find Bright Futures, in researching ways to help individuals and and compiling information for families break that cycle, creat- several grants, including one for ing and maintaining programs an OAE (Otoacoustic Emission) designed to last after our terms machine for which Bright Fuof service are complete. My tures was applying on behalf of work here with Bright Futures the Parents as Teachers (PAT) program.

Hearing for Early Childhood health can be directly and Families focuses linked to the developon early childhood litment of both language eracy programming, and literacy, and the giving me opportuniOAE machine enables ties to work both dipotential problems rectly with preschoolto be identified and aged children and to addressed at an earprovide “behind-thelier age than previous scenes” assistance to screening methods. a number of programs ANGELA OSBIRN Earlier this year, throughout the area.

LOCAL VOICES I participated in the As a VISTA, I am AmeriCorps Colorado able to give back to the community in a way that en- Reads Book Drive, and collected courages and empowers young more than 350 books to donate children to help break the pov- to early childhood care providerty cycle, promoting their early ers throughout the region. More childhood literacy skills through recently, I completed a project a variety of fun programs de- called “Make it and Take it,” for signed not just to help children the PAT parent educators. Each learn how to read, but to foster kit contains a free copy of “My in them a lifelong love of read- Many Colored Days” by Dr. Seing and learning. I visit several uss, and a complete set of matedifferent preschools throughout rials to create several long-lastthe week for story time, and we ing crafts. The activities can be typically sing songs, read stories used by children of all ages, and (audience participation is often include projects such as a Color encouraged!) and do a literacy- Feelings Wheel, where children related craft or activity together. and parents work together to With the help of Deb D’Angelo identify the child’s feelings with at the Wilkinson Public Library, different colors.

I’m excited to say I’ve also I was able to create a group in Naturita based on her Reading been asked to work on the 2014Buddies program. Big Buddies 2015 School Readiness Calenread with their Little Buddies for dar. I’ll be adding new books 20-30 minutes, and then they all and activities as well as inforcome together to play a literacy- mation parents can use to help based game. Another free pro- their children with literacy and gram I was able to put in place is school readiness skills. Addition“The StoryWalk Project,” created ally, we’ll be running a contest

by Anne Ferguson of Montpelier, for artwork submissions from Vt. and developed in collabora- local children for the calendar, tion with the Vermont Bicycle through the end of April, with & Pedestrian Coalition and the the 12 winners receiving a free Kellogg Hubbard Library. Bright book each. Flyers will be availFutures bought three new copies able to pick up from the libraries of “If You Give a Moose a Muffin,” in Telluride, Norwood and Natuand I mounted the pages on col- rita.

Working with Bright Futures orful poster board and displayed has given me an opportunity to them at the preschool in Natugain a unique perspective on rita.

I’ve also been working with Telluride and the surrounding Nikki McCluer, director at Prime mountain towns, seeing firstTime Early Learning Center, to hand the differences in each create a reading challenge for community. Each town has its children in Norwood and the own personality and way of life, surrounding communities. One but poverty can be found in each of the greatest challenges in the and every one. As an AmeriCorps fight against poverty and child- VISTA, I am finding ways to boost hood illiteracy is getting books childhood literacy, creating susinto children’s homes, so we tainable programs designed to decided the best reward to of- help break the cycle of poverty.

— Angela Osbirn, MA, is and fer children would be free books.

Through a generous donation AmeriCorps VISTA who has from Bright Futures, we were been working with Bright Fuable to purchase more than 200 tures for Early Childhood and brand new high-quality books Families to give away as prizes. Children

[Editor’s note: This is a the second of a two- part series provided by AmeriCorps Vista volunteers who have served this region over the past year. Their stories are in support of National Service Day, occurring April 1.]

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

SMUGGLERS BAR SPECIAL 4-6PM DAILY Any pasta and a glass of wine or pint of beer for only $15!

Artisan Hand Crafted Beer • Genuine Good Food Ahead off the Oak St. Gondola • 970-728-5620

A

FINE RUGS SINCE 1790 Proud Sponsor of the Telluride Adaptive Sports Program

Sale of Fine Rugs | Restoration | Maintenance | Appraisal 970-728-4620 www.azadifinerugs.com

LOOKING FOR RESULTS? We can help! Call us for a free market analysis

D

SOL

Aldasoro Ranch Home • $3,150,000 • Closed in February 2014

D

SOL

Riverside Condo, Telluride • $725,000 • Closed in January 2014

D

SOL

Rio Vista Unit, Lawson Hill • $130,000 • Closed in January 2014

TODD CREEL BROKER/OWNER • 970-728-6400 / 729-2222 Prospect Realty, 134 E. Colorado Ave., Downtown Telluride View all properties in the county MLS: www.TellurideRealEstate.net

5

PLANET

MESA VERDE

MESA VERDE COAXING HORSES OUT OF PARK

NEWS APRIL 1, 2014 PAGE SIX

NEWS IN BRIEF

In arid park, competition is high for water

GRAND JUNCTION

MESA COUNTY OPPOSING FEDERAL ROAD CLOSURES

The Mesa County Commission is planning to assert control over roads and rights of way in a potential confrontation with the federal Bureau of Land Management.

The BLM is studying proposed changes to the Grand Junction office’s resource management plan, including transportation on more than 1 million acres it manages in Mesa County and in some adjoining counties.

According to the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel, a county resolution calls on Congress to develop legislation to improve procedures for respecting rightsof-way and road access.

By JIM MIMIAGA

M

Derby champs

Telluride’s Cub Scout Pack 500 recently held its Pinewood Derby Race. Overall winners, shown here from left, are Tommy Galleger and Christian Betz, who tied for first place, and Miles Fusting who came in second. All three winners went on to compete in the District Pinewood Derby Race in Montrose. [Courtesy photo]

DENVER

In Colorado, redistricting isn’t everything Candidates can counter some of the effects

COLORADO SPRINGS

SHOT ACCIDENTALLY FIRED AT GUN SHOW

One person is facing charges of prohibited use of a weapon after a gun went off at a gun show in Colorado Springs.

The incident happened at the Expo Center on Saturday. Police say there was no damage or injuries.

Police say a shot was fired onto the floor by accident after the back of the gun was bumped. A vendor told police the weapon had been returned to them as defective earlier that week, but during a test firing someone forgot to empty the chamber.

The gun magazine had been removed.

DENVER

SMALL PLANE HAD JUST TAKEN OFF BEFORE DENVER CRASH

A small plane that crashed in an empty field near a shopping center south of Denver had just taken off from a nearby commuter airport.

The one person aboard was killed in Saturday’s crash. No injuries on the ground were reported.

Centennial Airport spokeswoman Deborah Smith says the pilot of the craft had been in touch with the tower shortly before taking off from the airport at about 2:30 p.m. The crash was minutes later. Smith said the airport could release no further information because the investigation was still underway.

Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Allen Kenitzer says the plane was a Sonerai, a type of aircraft hobbyists build in their own workshops. Kenitzer says the FAA and the National Transportation and Safety Board are investigating.

By NICHOLAS RICCARDI

D

Associated Press

ENVER (AP) — Unlike much of the rest of the country, Colorado Democrats have come out on top in recent redistricting battles in this hotly competitive state. But it has been of limited help — a reminder that candidates here can counter some of the effects of redistricting.

Nationally, Republicans generally have been able to define where congressional districts begin and end. That’s helped them hold the U.S. House of Representatives and insulate them from public opinion on several issues.

But in Colorado, after the 2010 census, Democrats won a court battle for their proposed congressional map. The 2011 case went to a judge because

Democrats and Republicans each controlled one of the state legislature’s two chambers, and they couldn’t agree on redistricting.

That Democratic map moved Republican Rep. Mike Coffman from a safe district to a more competitive one. Even so, Coffman won re-election in 2012 in a district President Barack Obama carried by 5 points.

And Republicans still outnumber Democrats in the state’s congressional delegation, 4-3.

That could change this year.

Coffman, who never has lost a political race in Colorado, faced a lackluster Democratic candidate in 2012. Now he is being challenged by former Colorado House Speaker Andrew Romanoff. Their contest is expected to be one of the most costly

and hard-fought in the country in a district that is evenly split between Democrats, Republicans and independents.

Colorado’s other six congressional seats are fairly stable: Three are heavily Republican, two largely Democratic and one in Denver’s western suburbs leans Democratic.

Marc Grueskin, the attorney who represented Democrats during the 2011 redistricting battle, said the courts accepted Democrats’ argument that districts had to be “competitive” — not, he noted, lopsided toward his party or the Republicans.

“Does that have the potential to help Democrats?” Grueskin asked. “Yeah. But does it lock anything in for Democrats? No.”

RIVERS

Colo. tax program raises money for rivers

I

t’s already tax season, and while Colorado residents may not enjoy sending in their income taxes, they can feel good about where some of their money or tax refund goes by participating in the Colorado Healthy Rivers Fund tax check-off program.

Since the establishment of the Colorado Healthy Rivers Fund in 2003, more than 125,000 citizens have donated more than $1 million from their tax returns.

Funds collected by the Colorado Healthy Rivers Fund assist locally based conservation groups in their efforts to protect Colorado land and water resources — 72 projects have been funded so far.

Formerly the Colorado Watershed Protection Fund, the

Taxpayers can check a box to donate to Healthy Rivers Fund Colorado Healthy Rivers Fund is financed by the Colorado tax check-off program, which provides tax payers the opportunity to contribute a portion of their tax return or to make a donation to assist locally based conservation groups in their efforts to protect land and water resources. Donations to the Colorado Healthy Rivers Fund can be made on line 42 of the 2014 Colorado Individual income tax return (form 104).

Local watershed and con-

servation groups are invited to submit grant applications each year. Applications must include a collaborative approach to the restoration and protection of lands and natural resources within Colorado’s watersheds in concert with economic development. Applications are due by April 30 of each year. Grant decisions are made by two members of the Colorado Water Conservation Board and two members of the Colorado Water Quality Commission in consultation with the Colorado Watershed Assembly.

Information on the Fund and grant process can be found at: www.coloradowater.org/CHRF.

Cortez Journal

ESA VERDE NATIONAL PARK, Colo. (AP) — Earth scorched by fire and drought is the view from the truck of a Mesa Verde National Park biologist as it rumbles down Morefield Canyon.

In the distance, a water war is taking place between two species of animals, one wild, one trespassing, both thirsty and struggling to survive.

Squaring off on either side of a small muddy spring, a herd of elk and a band of feral horses stand their ground until spooked by curious humans and their approaching machine.

The elk quickly flee out of view, kicking up dust. The horses casually move just a little more away, turning to stare.

The drama plays out every day, says Paul Morey, a wildlife biologist hired to handle the persistent livestock trespass problem at Mesa Verde.

“There are limited water sources on the park, especially in a drought, and therefore competition is high between these two groups of animals,” he said.

“It puts pressure on native wildlife.”

Remote-sensor cameras recorded 1,000 images at the little spring, and the majority were of horses. Out of 57 “interactions,” 76 percent were of horses chasing off elk and 24 percent were elk doing the chasing.

Scattered throughout the park — from Wetherill Mesa and Farview to Morefield and Long Canyons- are 100 to 117 feral horses, making up 13 to 15 bands.

The colorful Morefield band is the most diverse on the park, featuring horses with deep red, white, black, and tan colors. A white stallion aggressively runs off a younger male trying to join the group. A recently born foal keeps close to his mother.

Dubbed “trespass livestock,” they’ve become tourist attractions and exhibit crafty behavior, figuring out how to open an ice machine to happily munch on a frozen treat, and breaking open water lines. They loiter wherever there’s water, including near bathrooms and restaurants, and also at the treated outflow from septic ponds.

But the horses present a perplexing problem for park managers because they trample cultural sites, cause erosion and chase native wildlife away from natural springs. They are territorial and can be aggressive, presenting a threat to visitors and staff.

“We’ve had a report of a visitor feeling threatened, and they have followed us on horseback, once nipping at the rear of our horses,” Morey says.

APRIL 1, 2014

SERVICE

I

CONVENIENCE

I

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

LUXURY

Exuding a distinguished level of finish and skiin/out location that is u n m a t c h e d i n t h e To w n o f Te l l u r i d e , t h e A u berge Residences at 2 no ftfhe ar tt w E x u d i n g a d i s t i n g u i s h e d l e v e l o f f i n i s h a n d s k i - i n / oEul et ml oecnat t5i o i so t o five bedroom residences u n m a t c h e d i n t h e To w n o f Te l l u r i d e , t h e A u b e r g e R e s i d e n c e s a t E l e m e n t 5 2 o f f e r t w o t o within an intimate comf i v e b e d r o o m r e s i d e n c e s w i t h i n a n i n t i m a t e c o m m u n i t y s e t t i n g . D i s tmi nu cnti ti vy e l u x u r i e s a n d

services include a private ski funicular, 24 hour concierge, spa, heated outdoor soaking pools, private club room, and expansive mountain and town views. Simply the best.

Prices starting at $1,450,000 Photos & Info: element52.aubergeresorts.com Schedule a Showing: 970.708.5367

Auberge Resorts were named the #1 Hotel Brand by Conde Nast Traveler in 2012.

Calistoga Ranch Napa Valley, California

Esperanza Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Palmetto Bluff Bluffton, South Carolina

Element 52 Owners Enjoy Reciprocity With These Three Stunning Auberge Resorts.

Brian O’Neill Director

Brian O’Neill, Director | bfoneill@tellurideproperties.com | 970.708.5367, Cell 237 South Oak Street @ the Telluride Gondola | Telluride, Colorado 81435 I tellurideproperties.com/brianoneill

7

8

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

BRAND-NEW

Luxury Residences at Lorian III www.lorian3.com

E

EN

S U O

H

00

P - 4: O ILY 1:00 A D

LORIAN III, UNITS 1-6 3,851 - 6,540 SQUARE-FOOT RESIDENCES • Newly finished one-level luxury residences • Adjacent to Double Cabins Ski Run • Amenities: hot tub, heated pool, game room, garage parking, gym and ski lockers • Views from every room

LARS CARLSON 970.729.0160 L A R S D @ L A R S C A R L S O N . CO M W W W. L A R S C A R L S O N . CO M

• Granite and marble counters, walnut floors, mahogany cabinets, Sub Zero refrigerators, Wolf ranges, wine coolers and wet bars • Walk to gondola and grocery • 6 units to choose from

GARRET T SIMON 970.708.1155 G A R R E T T @ T E L LU R I D E CO LO R A D O. N E T W W W. G A R R E T TS I M O N . CO M

NEWS

APRIL 1, 2014

Winds bring dust, but no snow DUST, from page 3

dust coated snow absorbs more heat from the sun and melts faster. Last year numerous dust storms blew in and likely sped up the spring runoff. Though the local snowpack is in better shape this year, dust is always a concern.

On Monday the average median snowpack in the San Juan, Dolores, Animas and San Juan River Basins was at around 88 percent of normal, according to the Natural Resources Conservation Service. Locally, Lizard Head Pass is sitting at 101 percent of normal snowpack, El Diente Peak is at 90 percent and Lone Cone is at 80 percent, according to NRCS. Thom Carnevale, who keeps local weather records, said March will likely end with slight-

ly below-average precipitation.

“We’ve been average for pretty much all of the year,” Carnevale said on Friday. “We were actually, at the end of February, about a quarter of an inch above average for the year for normal precipitation. But unless we have major snow in the next three days it will bring us below average, not a lot, but below average.”

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, most of San Miguel County was around 1 to 2 percent below normal for precipitation over the past 30 days.

Carnevale has recorded about 20 inches of snow for the month of March in Telluride, and his records indicate that March’s average is around 33 inches. In terms of temperatures, Carnevale’s re-

cords indicated that in Telluride things have been slightly cooler than average in March.

But more snow could be on the way; the National Weather Service forecast for the week says there is a chance of snow through Thursday.

Joe Raime at the National Weather Service in Grand Junction said storms are expected to blow in from the Northwest and they could bring some precipitation to the area. However, he said, weather systems will likely bring winds, which could mean more dust.

The Colorado Avalanche Cnformation Center, is reporting that avalanche danger is still condirable in the Northern San Juans.

Tributary flowing free RIVER, from page 3

cy’s fish biologist was examining Colorado maps for migration barriers.

“He spotted this one,” Clements said.

Through follow-up investigation, Clements said, the BLM discovered that water rights of the dam had been determined abandoned and that removal of the structure would open up a lot of habitat for three species of native fish: Roundtail chub, Flannelmouth sucker and Bluehead sucker. All three are considered “BLM Colorado sensitive species.”

“Our fish guy thought it was a high priority because it would open up a lot of the creek’s breeding habitats for them,” Clements said.

The three species of native warm water fish, Clements said, “spend most of their lives in the bigger rivers, but to breed they swim up these smaller tributaries, and that’s where their young hatch.”

Once the project was identified, the BLM had to go through

the planning and approval process, and also needed to secure funds for the dam’s removal.

That’s where the San Miguel Watershed Coalition stepped in.

The coalition, a nonprofit organization that works to improve the health and economic vitality of the San Miguel Watershed, obtained funding, provided project coordination and provided on the ground support for the removal.

The coalition received $11,000 in grant funds from the Southwest Watershed District to fund a part of the project.

Sarah Bobbe, the coalition’s new coordinator, said the project was easy for the coalition to support because the dam was no longer serving a purpose and its removal had great potential to help the endemic fish species.

“It will greatly improve the habitat and the area and the fishes’ ability to thrive,” she said.

“The hope is that now that the barrier is removed that these three fish … can go upstream and spawn.”

Clements said re-vegetation

efforts are planned for the project site, and the BLM is hoping to monitor fish use in the tributary this spring when the flows are high and compare the numbers to data gathered last year.

Hilary Cooper, who also sits on the coalition’s board, said the dam project signifies a big step for the coalition, which she said just finished a reorganizing process.

“It’s exciting that the Watershed Coalition is to the point in its newly reorganized status of being able to get project funding and being able to participate in and or help create immediate results,” White said. “This was a somewhat small yet really significant project.”

Along with updating its website and financial structure, the coalition hired Bobbe as its new coordinator effective Feb. 1.

“We’re excited for the coalition to reach out to the entire watershed and to complete more projects like this,” Cooper said.

Nuclear power with Telluride POWER, from page 3

estimate the destructive power of nuclear weapons … It was recognized early on that these weapons needed to be controlled and so in the early years there were efforts to do that.”

Many of President Kennedy’s fears about the proliferation of countries with nuclear weapons in their arsenals never came to pass, Graham said. There are currently just eight nuclear weapon states: the U.S., China, France, Russia, United Kingdom, India, Pakistan and North Korea.

Graham has turned his attention from non-proliferation to nuclear power.

“It can be used to make the most destructive weapons ever made,” he said. “It can also be used to create the greatest civilization ever. It’s up to humanity to use it properly.”

Graham is now the board chair of a Virgina-based energy company called Lightbridge, whose mission according to its website is to advance the nuclear renaissance by realizing

the promise of safe, clean and responsible nuclear power. The company has developed two types of nuclear power fuel when Graham says are much safer than traditional fuels. One is a 60 percent thorium and 40 percent uranium blend and the other is 100 percent uranium.

Unlike traditional fuels, Lightbridge’s don’t make plutonium in the spent fuel, which can be used to make bombs. The radio toxicity of Lightbridge’s fuel declines much quicker than traditional fuels, operates at a low heat and the company uses metal rods to hold the fuel, instead of ceramic ones. All these things make it safe, Graham said.

“Fukushima with our fuel is impossible,” he said. “It can never happen … Nuclear power is safe, but this fuel will make it obviously safe.”

Nuclear power is a controversial and emotional subject, Graham said, especially because of past disasters and near-disasters like Three Mile Island, Chernobyl and Fukushima. But his years

of experience in the field have led him to believe it is essential for the future of civilization. He says it’s a safe energy source that reduces carbon emissions.

“I came to realize how important it was to limit and control nuclear weapons,” Graham said.

“I also became persuaded by the importance of nuclear power …

In today’s world with climate change and the increased demand in power, we just have to have nuclear power. We can’t have these constraints on it … if we want to progress.”

His March visit was Graham’s first to Telluride. It was arranged by Telluride resident Laurie McRay. McKray is a principal investment officer with the Houston-based McRay Money Management and met Graham at a United Nations Luncheon. She also moderated the event at the Sheridan.

“It’s a reception in the spirit of the TED talks,” McRay said.

“In that same spirit I wanted to introduce Ambassador Graham to the Telluride community.”

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Professional Market Knowledge for the Discerning Buyer and Seller

Daniel E. Dockray

Broker Associate 970.708.0666 www.telluridecorealestate.com

FREE PROGRAMS EVERY DAY FOR KIDS AND ADULTS! FIND US AT WWW.TELLURIDELIBRARY.ORG OR WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/WILKINSON.TELLURIDE

Breakfast, Lunch, & Gourmet Dinner-to-go M-Sat, 7am-5pm, Sun 8am-2pm

(970)728-2899

217 E. Colorado Ave. Telluride, Colorado

New, Luxury Telluride Townhomes

The Idea is Excellence Contact Sally Field Broker at 970-728-5915 for further information! www.yourtelluridebroker.com

Telluride Bistro

Fine Italian Cuisine

Open for Dinner Through Saturday, April 5th 138 East Colorado Ave. For reservations call 970.728.5239

UR S FA MI LY-FR IEN DLY 1/2 DAY TO UR S TO ADVA NCED PO WD ER RID ING UR S TO S ING SPR T FU LL DAY DU NTON HO

1-800-831-6230

www. TELLURIDEOUTSIDE .com E X P E R I E N C E ~ Q UA L I T Y ~ S E RV I C E

9

Sleeping with apnea

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

VOICES APRIL 1, 2014 PAGE TEN

America’s taxation tradition As inequality has become an many thoughtful Americans reincreasingly prominent issue in alized not just that extreme inAmerican discourse, there has equality was making nonsense been furious pushback from the of that vision, but that America right. Some conservatives argue was in danger of turning into a that focusing on inequality is un- society dominated by hereditary wise, that taxing high incomes wealth — that the New World will cripple economic growth. was at risk of turning into Old Some argue that it’s unfair, that Europe. And they were forthpeople should be allowed to keep right in arguing that public poliwhat they earn. And some argue cy should seek to limit inequality that it’s un-American — that for political as well as economic we’ve always celebrated those reasons, that great wealth posed who achieve wealth, and that it a danger to democracy.

So how did such views not violates our national tradition to suggest that some people control only get pushed out of the mainstream but come to be considtoo large a share of the wealth.

And they’re right. No true ered illegitimate?

Consider how inequality and American would say this: “The absence of effective state, and, taxes on top incomes were treatespecially, national, restraint ed in the 2012 election. Republiupon unfair money-getting has cans pushed the line that President Barack Obama tended to create a small NEW YORK TIMES class of enormously PAUL KRUGMAN was hostile to the rich.

“If one’s priority is to wealthy and economically powerful men, whose chief punish highly successful people, object is to hold and increase then vote for the Democrats,” their power,” and follow that Mitt Romney said. Democrats statement with a call for “a vehemently denied the charge. graduated inheritance tax on big Yet Romney was in effect accusfortunes ... increasing rapidly in ing Obama of thinking like Teddy amount with the size of the es- Roosevelt. How did that become an unforgivable political sin? tate.”

You sometimes hear the arguWho was this left-winger?

Theodore Roosevelt, in his fa- ment that concentrated wealth is mous 1910 New Nationalism no longer an important issue, because the big winners in today’s speech.

The truth is that, in the ear- economy are self-made men who ly 20th century, many leading owe their position at the top of Americans warned about the the ladder to earned income, not dangers of extreme wealth con- inheritance. But that view is a centration and urged that tax generation out of date. New work policy be used to limit the growth by the economists Emmanuel of great fortunes. Here’s another Saez and Gabriel Zucman finds example: In 1919, the great that the share of wealth held at economist Irving Fisher devoted the very top — the richest 0.1 his presidential address to the percent of the population — has American Economic Association doubled since the 1980s and is largely to warning against the ef- now as high as it was when Teddy fects of “an undemocratic distri- Roosevelt and Irving Fisher isbution of wealth.” And he spoke sued their warnings.

We don’t know how much of favorably of proposals to limit inherited wealth through heavy that wealth is inherited. But it’s interesting to look at the Forbes taxation of estates.

Nor was the notion of limit- list of the wealthiest Americans. ing the concentration of wealth, By my rough count, about a third especially inherited wealth, of the top 50 inherited large forjust talk. In his landmark book, tunes. Another third are 65 or “Capital in the Twenty-First older, so they will probably be Century,” the economist Thomas leaving large fortunes to their Piketty points out that America, heirs. We aren’t yet a society which introduced an income tax with a hereditary aristocracy of in 1913 and an inheritance tax wealth, but, if nothing changes, in 1916, led the way in the rise we’ll become that kind of society of progressive taxation, that it over the next couple of decades.

In short, the demonization was “far out in front” of Europe.

Piketty goes so far as to say that of anyone who talks about the “confiscatory taxation of exces- dangers of concentrated wealth sive incomes” — that is, taxation is based on a misreading of both whose goal was to reduce income the past and the present. Such and wealth disparities, rather talk isn’t un-American; it’s very than to raise money — was an much in the American tradition.

And it’s not at all irrelevant to “American invention.”

And this invention had deep the modern world. So who will historical roots in the Jefferso- be this generation’s Teddy Roonian vision of an egalitarian soci- sevelt? ety of small farmers. Back when Teddy Roosevelt gave his speech,

R

aise your hand if you tention if you suspect that you have ever snored so suffer from sleep apnea. Also, loudly that you woke sleep apnea sufferers are not yourself up. Please getting nearly the sleep they dekeep your hands up serve. Someone with sleep apnea until we get an accurate count. may gasp for breath hundreds OK, you can put them down now. of times in a single night. That So it seems that many of us is terrible. Leaving the sufferer snore. Regular, rhythdrowsy the next day and KEN CURRIE mic snoring can annoy possibly less productive IT SEEMED those around us, but FUNNY AT THE TIME at work. Not to mention it is probably not danthe dangers of driving gerous. The greatest risk to our while drowsy. health is from our spouse kickSo, although snoring is kind of ing us. (Note: she may attempt to funny, sleep apnea is serious. You claim restless leg syndrome). can try to reduce your symptoms If snoring is irregular and ac- by sleeping on your side and not companied by panicked gasping your back. If you must sleep on it could mean you have sleep ap- your back like some struggling nea. Apnea comes from the greek tortoise, at least try propping words ‘Apos’; meaning unable your head up with extra pillows, to breath at night, and ‘neas’; or elevating your entire torso meaning causing our spouse to with a foam wedge. freak out and think we are dying.

There are also some throat Four out of five doctors agree exercises that some recommend that breathing is important. to strengthen the muscles in the That is why you should seek at- airway. Here are two: Press your

tongue against the roof of your mouth and hold it there for three minutes. Do it once a day.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth into a balloon. Try to inflate the balloon as much as you can. Repeat this a few times without removing the balloon from your lips.

Once the balloon is full, try to tie it into the shape of a wiener dog.

Number three probably won’t help. But it won’t hurt either.

A doctor might want you to try using a supplemental oxygen supply. There are a few different products you can discuss with your doctor.

So, sleep on it. And if you are getting kicked a lot in the night, consider the above recommendations. You might also consider shin guards.

DOONESBURY GARRY TRUDEAU

Letters

No variances, ever DEAR EDITOR, This letter is directed to the Town Council of Telluride, to HARC, to the Planning and Zoning Commission, as well as to the people of Telluride.

I have been a 42-year resident of Telluride, and was on the Town Council in 1974 and 1975. It was at this time that we formed the Historical Architectural Review Commission, and many of the current zoning regulations, because we cared about the vision we had for the future of Telluride.

As the result of this forward thinking and careful planning, I feel that Telluride has grown into a spectacular town and a crown jewel becoming of the magnificent geographical surroundings in which it exists. This combination of town and surroundings simply does not exist elsewhere. We are unique and this is a major reason why we have been able to attract considerable tourism, contributing to our success. People love our town, and let us never forget that it was with considerable effort that we set the standards which have made us what we are.

I should doubt that any of us are oblivious to the considerable and unrelenting pressures that we have to continually fend off on the part of developers, many of which want to make a fast buck and leave us with the con-

sequences. We have to live with the results of their actions forever. Please do not get me wrong, of course not all developers are bad, and there are some within my circle of friends. But then there are those whose intentions go beyond our range of legislated limits.

I would like to send our council and commissions to Aspen, Breckenridge and Park City to see the atrocities that unbridled developers have perpetrated against those cities, and once it has happened it is irreversible.

We are at a point in the development of Telluride that we no longer need to be desperate for any kind of new projects. We need to proceed with caution so the power of greed cannot destroy or degrade that which we have worked so hard to create.

Letters policy The TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET welcomes all letters.

Those fewer than 500 words that do not need to be factually verified are considered first, edited least and printed most readily.

Letters must be accompanied by the author’s printed name, signature, street address, P.O. Box number. A phone number is required for publication. No personal or libelous statements. Out-of-town letters are not guaranteed publication. Send letters to: editor@telluridenews.com or to TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET, Letter to the Editor, P.O. Box 2315, Telluride, CO 81435 or bring by our offices at 307 E. Colorado Ave. We reserve the right to edit any letter to the editor or commentary submitted for publication.

I would urge those entities to the Town of Telluride to NEVER consider any variances to our hard-won regulations. We would like to see Telluride mature with grace and dignity, as it has in the past. If developers want to do projects in Telluride, they can follow our guidelines. Once you allow a variance to one developer, how can you say no to another? If they cannot do their projects within our guidelines, then we do not want their projects.

They can go to another town that has no pride and does not care, and wreak their havoc there in pursuit of their insatiable quest for another dollar. Not at our sake, thank you.

A town should never downzone. It is too hard to set desirable priorities in the first place.

We have done well, with a few distasteful exceptions, for many years now. Let’s not allow our decision makers to water down the regulations, which have made us what we are, just to pad the pockets of their cronies.

We will not give up what we have fought for, and what has served us well.

Silence on the part of the public in these matters often lends a sense of credence to those with less than desirable motives.

Thus, this letter.

Thank you,

JOHN ROTH

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Telluride Trappings & Toggery

END OF SEASON

SALE

This is no Joke!!!

20% OFF

EVERYTHING! *Sale also applies to already reduced merchandise

Sale Ends Sunday, 4/6 Open every day during the off season

Downtown Telluride (970) 728-3338

11

lunch & dinner • full bar • aprés ski • outdoor patio

PLANET

BIZ

at the oak st. gondola plaza • open every day • 728-3985

APRIL 1, 2014 PAGE TWELVE

Vintage Telluride Apparel Exclusive at

Telluride Trappings & Toggery O PEN D AILY 9 AM -9 PM 728-3338

DOWNTOWN TELLURIDE SINCE 1972

got laundry?

Wash -N- Fold 99¢ per lb Outerwear Reconditioning & Waterproofing Pick up & Drop Off at SHIPit COPYit above Clark’s Market Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm call (970) 316-2510 for more details

12 exceptional 3 and 4 bedroom condos Direct ski access, spectacular views, unrivaled amenities $1,695,000 to $3,295,000 Michael J. Ward | 970.708.0932 www.villasatcortina.com

Buy One Entree and get the Second One HALF OFF

*entree of equal or lesser value upon request

Brunch served from 8am to 2pm Reservations not required, Walk-ins welcome

728.9100

DJIA: 16,457.66 S&P 500: 1,872.34 NASDAQ: 4,198.99

BIZ BRIEFS AUTOS

FIAT CHRYSLER: CAN BOOST OUTPUT TO 6M CARS A YEAR

Fiat and Chrysler CEO Sergio Marchionne said Monday that the merged company will be able to increase production to more than 6 million cars a year, a level he has long said is the minimum for an automaker to compete in the global market.

Marchionne aims to complete the legal merger of Fiat and Chrysler by the end of 2014 to create Fiat Chrysler Automobiles, the world’s seventh-largest automaker, and will outline a new multi-year business plan in Detroit in May. “By 2018, Fiat will be able to make more than 6 million cars,” Marchionne told reporters after Fiat shareholders’ meeting in the Italian company’s historic headquarters in Turin.

ECONOMY

Yellen: Job market needs low rates ‘for some time’ Short-term rate increase could hurt stock prices

By MARTIN CRUTSINGER

W

AP Economics Writer

ASHINGTON (AP) — Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen made clear Monday that she thinks the stillsubpar U.S. job market will continue to need the help of low interest rates “for some time.”

Yellen’s remarks signaled that even after the Fed phases out its monthly bond purchases later this year, it has no plans to raise a key short-term rate anytime soon. The bond purchases have been intended to keep longterm loan rates low.

Her remarks sent a reassuring message to investors, many of whom had grown anxious that the Fed might raise short-term rates by mid-2015. Their concerns were stirred last month when Yellen suggested that the Fed could start raising shortterm rates six months after it halts its bond purchases, which most economists expect by year’s end.

A short-term rate increase would elevate borrowing costs and could hurt stock prices.

But on Monday, Yellen made clear that the Fed still thinks rates should remain low to stimulate borrowing, spending and

economic growth.

“I think this extraordinary commitment is still needed and will be for some time, and I believe that view is widely held by my fellow policymakers at the Fed,” Yellen said in her first major speech since taking over the Fed’s leadership in February.

Stocks, which had been up before Yellen began speaking, rose further on her remarks. Low rates tend to lead some investors to shift money into stocks and thereby raise stock prices.

Speaking to a national conference on community reinvestment in Chicago, Yellen described the U.S. job market as being less than healthy despite steady improvement since the recession ended nearly five years ago. She says the difficulty many people are still having finding full-time work shows that low rates are still needed to encourage borrowing and spending.

In an unusual touch for a speech delivered by a Fed chief, Yellen described the personal stories of three people who had lost their jobs during the recession and struggled to find work.

“They are a reminder that there are real people behind the statistics,” Yellen said.

BIZ

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

13

AGRICULTURE

University of Minnesota students fill hop demand Farm will grow sustainable hops, for growing demand from craft brewing industry

Showroom location 219 E. Colorado Ave next to Butcher & Baker

(970) 728-0022 | www.telluridewindowcoverings.com

By KRISTOFFER TIGUE Minnesota Daily

H

AM LAKE, Minn. (AP) — A foot of hard snow clings to the more than 70 acres of land at the Sannerud family farm in Ham Lake, where other farmers have planted corn and mushrooms and laid out compost.

For three generations, the Sannerud family has rented its land to others rather than tending it themselves, but that will change soon.

University of Minnesota alumnus Eric Sannerud and two other University students will turn a chunk of that land into Mighty Axe Hops. Their new project will farm local, organic and sustainable hops, filling a growing demand from the state’s booming craft brewing industry.

“Duh, there’s a market,” Sannerud said. “People want craft breweries, and they’re going to want local hops.”

There are 47 companies registered in the Minnesota Craft Brewers Guild, and the majority of them are based in the Twin Cities. And that doesn’t include breweries just beginning to es-

Give ‘em a brake!

Ben Boo and Eric Sannerud at Sannerud’s family farm March 16 in Ham Lake, Minn. For three generations, the Sannerud family has rented its land to others rather than tending it themselves, but that will change soon. [AP Photo/The Minnesota Daily, Bridget Bennett]

tablish themselves, such as Fair State Brewing Cooperative and the Day Block Brewing Company, which both operate out of Minneapolis.

Horticulture senior Ben Boo is in charge of designing and developing the cropping system for Mighty Axe. He said most hops come from the West Coast,

where the weather is more temperate. But he said he believes plenty of breeds, like Cascade hops, will grow here despite the harsh winters and hot summers.

“It’s not as perfect as, like, Oregon or Washington, but it does just fine,” Boo told the Minnesota Daily. “We’re picking plants that’ll do well in Minnesota.”

‘had a good piece lately?’ pizza . slices . take n’ bake lawson hill . 728-2085 . 8:30-7 m-f . 11:30-7 sat

aemonofinefoods.com

EARLY BIRD RAFT SPECIALS! Call 728-8954 for details

LUNCH • TAPAS • DINNER • CATERING

Last Day of the Season: April 2 Mention this ad for 15% off Spanish wines

ONLY YOU

Lunch @ 11:30 • Dinner @ 5 • Tapas Happy Hour @ 4-6

Slow Down! Pay Attention!

STAYCATION PACKAGE $125

(970) 728-1117 Reservations Recommended

Can Prevent Roadkill!

Flash headlights 3 times to warn oncoming drivers of wildlife on or near roadways.

Colorado State Patrol wants to remind you to lower headlights within 500 ft. of oncoming vehicles.

WANT YOUR AD TO BE SEEN?!!

Get noticed in

THE PLANET By 40,000 readers WEEKLY 728-9788 ext. 10

NOW TO APRIL 4th*

A ONE-NIGHT STAY FOR 2 IN A SINGLE QUEEN ROOM AND DINNER FOR 2, INCLUDING 2 SALADS OR SOUPS AND 2 ENTRÉES *BASED ON AVAILABILITY.

22332 HWY 145 PLACERVILLE, CO 81430

(970) 728-5580 WWW.THEANGLERINN.COM

TUES - SAT 11:30AM - 8:30PM SUNDAY 11:00AM - 8:30PM (BRUNCH SPECIALS)

14

APRIL 1, 2014

BIZ

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Damon Demas

APPLE

Another Apple-Samsung skirmish heads to court

“On Top of Telluride” Local Real Estate Expertise

Apple is accusing Samsung of infringing on five patents 970.369.5324 I ddemas@tellurideproperties.com

Open Daily 11:30 am - Close Saturday & Sunday Brunch 10 am - 2:45 pm

Blue Plate Dinner Special $9.99!

TUESDAY

Fish Tacos with side salad

Daily Lunch and Burger Specials!

103 West Colorado Ave. • 728-8884

Telluride Gallery Framing

By MARTHA MENDOZA

S

AP National Writer

AN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — The fiercest rivalry in the world of smartphones is heading back to court this week in the heart of the Silicon Valley, with Apple and Samsung accusing each other, once again, of ripping off designs and features.

The trial will mark the latest round in a long-running series of lawsuits between the two tech giants that underscore a much larger concern about what is allowed to be patented.

“There’s a widespread suspicion that lots of the kinds of software patents at issue are written in ways that cover more ground than what Apple or any other tech firm actually invented,” Notre Dame law professor Mark McKenna said. “Overly broad patents allow companies to block competition.”

The latest Apple-Samsung case will be tried less than two years after a federal jury found Samsung was infringing on Apple patents. Samsung was ordered to pay about $900 million but is appealing and has been allowed to continue selling products using the technology.

Now, jury selection was set for Monday in another round of

litigation, with Apple Inc. accusing Samsung of infringing on five patents on newer devices, including Galaxy smartphones and tablets. In a counterclaim, Samsung says Apple stole two of its ideas to use on iPhones and iPads.

“Apple revolutionized the market in personal computing devices,” Apple attorneys wrote in court filings. “Samsung, in contrast, has systematically copied Apple’s innovative technology and products, features and designs, and has deluged markets with infringing devices.”

Samsung countered that it has broken technological barriers with its own ultra-slim, lightweight phones.

“Samsung has been a pioneer in the mobile device business sector since the inception of the mobile device industry,” Samsung attorneys wrote. “Apple has copied many of Samsung’s innovations in its Apple iPhone, iPod, and iPad products.”

In the upcoming case, Apple claims Samsung stole a tap-fromsearch technology that allows someone searching for a telephone number or address on the Web to tap on the results to call the number or put the address into a map. In addition, Apple

says Samsung copied “Slide to Unlock,” which allows users to swipe the face of their smartphone to use it.

Samsung countered that Apple is stealing a wireless technology system that speeds up sending and receiving data.

The most attention-grabbing claim in the case is Apple’s demand that Samsung pay a $40 royalty for each Samsung device running software allegedly conceived by Apple, more than five times more than the amount sought in the previous trial and well above other precedents between smartphone companies. If Apple prevails, the costs to Samsung could reach $2 billion. Apple’s costs, if it lost, are expected to be about $6 million.

“You rarely get from the jury what you ask for, so companies aim high,” said German patent analyst Florian Mueller. “But in my opinion this is so far above a reasonable level the judge should not have allowed it.”

The problem, he said, is that each smartphone has thousands of patented ideas in it; Apple is challenging just five.

Throughout the three years of litigation, Samsung’s market share has grown.

This is your wake up call.

Open Thursdays 10-6 or by appointment

970.728.2182 or 970.728.3300 Society Turn Business Ctr. #160

nearly half sold!

fresh organic juice

Answer it.

Now including Hawaiian turmeric!

Green Lemonade: apple, kale & lemon Calcium: carrot, orange, apple, celery, kale & wheat grass New! Altitude Adjustment: orange, beet, kale, lemon & ginger Immunity: orange, kale, pineapple, cucumber,

21 exquisite new condominium residences in Telluride’s Mountain Village from $850,000 to $5,494,000

Open House 1-4pm Daily

ginger, turmeric & lemon

Alkalinity: carrot, celery, cucumber, beet, lemon & wheat grass Detoxify: apple, beet, carrot, kale, wheat grass, turmeric & ginger

Presented by

La Cocina de Luz OPEN EVERYDAY AT 123 E. COLORADO AVENUE 728-9355 www.lacocinatelluride.com

Daniel E. Dockray 970-708-0666 dan.dockray@sothebysrealty.com

ELKSTONE21.COM each office is independently owned and operated.

Availability and prices subject to change without notice.

BIZ

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

15

Shimmy.SearchTellurideRealEstate.com

In this March 20 photo, Bruce Clingan, left, and his wife Jody stand for a photo on the deck of their home at their Tanglewood Golf Course in Pulaski, Pa. [AP Photo/Keith Srakocic]

ENERGY

Neighbors bicker in Pa. over forced gas drilling Many have already signed leases but there are holdouts

By KEVIN BEGOS and MARC LEVY

N

Associated Press

EW BEDFORD, Pa. (AP) — An energy company is dusting off an old, unused state law that can force property owners to accept oil and gas drilling under their land, pitting neighbor against neighbor in a Pennsylvania community and raising the possibility that lawmakers will have to take sides.

Houston-based Hilcorp seeks to use a 1961 Pennsylvania law to drill under the property of four holdout landowners in New Bedford, near the Ohio border an hour north of Pittsburgh. The concept, known as “forced pooling,” means that people who don’t sign leases get bundled in with those who do, to make drilling more efficient and compensate all the landowners.

The stakes are high. Property owners can reap royalties totaling hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars from drilling in the Utica Shale formation, which lies below the better-

known Marcellus Shale.

Suzanne Matteo, one of the four who has refused to sign a lease, said she is furious that the company may be able to drill under her property without her permission.

“It’s un-American,” she said.

On the other side are many neighbors who have signed leases, such as Bruce Clingan, who owns the roughly 200-acre Tanglewood Golf Course with his wife, Jody. They signed a lease with Hilcorp a few years ago and received a signing bonus of more than $500,000, plus 18 percent royalties on future production.

“I don’t understand how people that own 4 acres of ground can hold up such a big thing. I don’t agree with that,” Clingan said.

Hilcorp said that 99 percent of the property owners in the 3,267-acre tract have signed leases, and that drilling would occur a mile or more under the surface of the holdout’s property.

Invoking the old law, the company said, would ensure that “all

Half price TBC beers & 2-for-1 hot sake

J D esse

iFiore

Buyer & Seller Broker 970.708.9672

115 W Colorado Avenue

970-239-6025

LuxuryEstates.SearchTellurideRealEstate.com

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL 5-6

participants, leased or unleased, are compensated for the minerals they own.”

With new technology, a well can be drilled down and then turned sideways, and the socalled extensions run for a mile or more away from the drill site.

Some of those extensions are what Hilcorp wants to send under Matteo’s property, but the company hasn’t said exactly where wells would be located.

Matteo said she’s resigned to drilling in the area, since her neighbors have signed leases.

But she’s concerned about possible pollution and effects on property values, so is refusing to sign “on principle.”

The whole battle also has a political edge, since the state Department of Environmental Protection will make the final ruling on whether to approve the request. The response to Hilcorp’s proposal has been so strong that two hearings that had been planned for last week have been postponed until early May.

LOT 45, ALDASORO RANCH Aspen-dappled property located above Aldasoro Ranch’s first filing boasting a cul-de-sac location with expansive views. Borders Open Space with seasonal stream.

End-of-the-road privacy.

Offered at $549,000

Mark Dollard | 970.708.0854 | dollard@markdollard.com | www.markdollard.com

MID WINTER SKI SALE 20% off all 2013/14 Outerwear Mammut, Westcomb, La Sportiva, Outdoor Research

20% off all 2013/14 Skis & Snowboards G3, Liberty, La Sportiva, Venture

Great Deals on Socks, Gloves, Winter Boots, Accessories

OPEN DAILY 10AM - 8PM 223 E. COLORADO AVE. • (970) 728-9307

THANKS FOR ANOTHER GREAT WINTER TELLURIDE! Casual Bistro Dining Open 6pm Nightly (Closed Sunday)

Fresh Seafood - Meat - Game

Our last dinner for the winter will be Thurs, 4/3.

Local Specials All Week!

WE WILL RE-OPEN MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND WITH A NEW SUMMER MENU!

Located at 122 S. Oak St. • 970.239.6047 • www.flavortelluride.com

While sizes, colors & designs are available

70% OFF Clearance Rack

Open 11am-10pm Every Day 970-728-8399

sweatshirts, hats, jackets, souvenirs and much more ...

Featuring Authentic Mexican Cuisine and Traditional Cocktails

www.shirtworkstelluride.com

226 W. Colorado Avenue Telluride, CO 81435

970 728 6242

16

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Get unbeatable results in print and online with the Telluride Daily Planet's Business Directory.

It's like having the exposure of a main street storefront for just a few dollars a day!

Art/Design

Carpet Pro Cleaning Services

Body Art Jewelry and Other Fun! k

k

k

by Giorgio

k

• • • • •

970.708.1204 398 WEST COLORADO AVE. www.telluridetattoo.com k

Giorgio Varese

Janitorial Services Residential Cleaning Floor Care • Carpet Cleaning

over 35 years experience

magazines . books . brochures . ads & more

Telluride 715-209-4884 whitespacewi@gmail.com

Child Care

Carpet steam Cleaning & Upholstery Oriental/Persian Rugs House/Construction Cleaning Pet Stain Removal & Odor Control 24-Hour Emergency Water Removal

970-729-0059 carpetpro2009@gmail.com

Jan Esposito, Graphic DEsiGnEr

Telluride Sitters

Janitorial/Carpets

Contracting/Construction

telluridecleaning.com • 708-AJAX

When Water Damage Occurs Call

YOUR EXPERTISE – YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC

•Babysitting •Toy & Baby Gear Rentals

“Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting ...

So get on your way.”

(970) 708-0170

www.TellurideSitters.com

Call the Daily Planet TODAY!

Telluride’s only certified mold mitigation contractor

Dial 728-9788 ext. 10 to find out more!

Frank 970-729-0056 • Dave 918-373-2828

flood & water removal • improved air quality certified mold remediation • environmentally friendly

NORWOOD STORAGE

Serving Telluride Since 1999

Contracting/Construction

Family Owned & Operated.

Hire the Builder, a RICHARDSON is on the job Everyday!

GREAT SCOTT’S HARDWOOD FLOORS

Many local references available

Installations • Refinishing High-end Design

970-433-3539 Licensed ~ Insured Free Estimates ~ 25 Yrs Experience

Residential & Commercial 970.729.0854

Installation-Refinishing Dust Containment

jandsrichardsonconstruction.com

grizzlyhardwoodfloors.com

Health & Wellness

(970)252-8856 (970)901-9898

Remote? No Electricity?

No Problem!

Moving & Storage And Warehousing

Anything, Anywhere, with Care

327-4432 or 901-4087

Local, Regional, National Moves Receiving and Storage Packing Supplies Fully Insured HHG and PUC Certified Telluride’s Movers Since 1984

(970) 728-4658 JoMamasMovers.com

• Large Secure Yard • All Sizes Available • From 10’x10’ and Up • Custom Units Available

Call for Competitive Pricing and Move in Now!

39400 HWY 145 NORWOOD

SELF STORAGE in the Telluride Area

PLUMBING & HEATING Serving Telluride for more than 20 years

(970) 258-1906 Se4rvHicoeur 2

John Rash, Owner • alpineplumbingsandheatingllc@gmail.com

NOW SERVING YOU @ 115 W. COLORADO (above Pescado)

Members: $240 ounce for all top shelf, $200 ounce for all midshelf Walk-ins: $280 ounce for top shelf, $240 ounce for midshelf, $200 sale ounces 16+ Beautiful Estate Grown Strains. Hash, Infused Products, Daily Specials Monday - Friday 10:30 am - 6:30 pm Saturdays 12-5 pm facebook@delilahtelluride Delilah LLC 115 W. Colorado (above Pescado) Telluride, CO 81435 970-728-8803

Aprés Healing

Creative Remodeling & Home Repairs

kitchens U bathrooms U decks carpentry U painting U maintenance

729-0553

369-1336

Insured & Licensed ~ No job too small KITCHEN & BATH REMODELS HOME REPAIRS RENOVATIONS NEW CONSTRUCTION 33 YEARS IN TELLURDE

KENNEDY

CONTRACTING, INC COMPLETE HOME REFINISHING SERVICES

(970) 728-3905 (970) 708-1199

LOCAL/RELIABLE/TIMELY

Massage

Certif ied Massage Therapist

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE!

Downtown Telluride Office: 226 West Colorado Ave. Second Floor, above The BountyHunter

(970) 728-6804 or 626-5773

SWEDISH WITH ADVANCED TECHNIQUES Includes complimentary hot stones

MIKI ERSCHEN, L/CMT

“A Michelaii Massage is Forever.”

~Serving Telluride & the West End~

(720) 438-5642

Telecam @ (970)728-4445 Pools/Spas

TUB TECH SPAS YOUR LOCAL SPA SERVICE PROFESSIONALS Hands-on, Friendly, Knowledgable Service Technicians Scheduled programs & Maintenance calls

(970) 728-1900 Owner, Licensed Massage Therapist

970.729.8015

ApresHealingMassage.com

300 W Colorado Ave, Unit 2C Telluride, CO

Michelaii Massage

8x10s, 8x20s & 8x40s

Get noticed in

THE PLANET

H Serving Telluride Since 1986 H

Propane RESIDENTIAL, FARM, RANCH AND COMMERCIAL W      @ ..

By 40,000 readers WEEKLY

TANK RENTALS AVAILABLE. PREBUYS AND BUDGET PLANS

728-9788 ext. 10

1014 1200 RD • DELTA, CO 81416 • 970-874-5381

LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED FOR OVER 16 YEARS SERVICING YOUR AREA WITH SAFETY AND RELIABILITY!

APRIL 1, 2014

Property Management

EFFICIENT & EFFECTIVE CARE FOR YOUR PROPERTY www.1door.net

970.708.7551

HOA Management * Caretaking * Vacation Rentals

(970) 369-1275

www.PropertyManagementofTelluride.com

Snow Removal

ROOF & GROUND SNOW REMOVAL TELLURIDE ROOFING, INC.

Over Eighteen Years at 10,000 Ft.

• Roof & Ground • Shoveling & Plowing • Roof Maintenance • Guttering • Roof Heat & Snow Bars • Waterproofing

Local. Fully Insured. Bonded. Professional. Saftey Trained. On Call or By Contract.

(970)728-5838

info@TellurideRoofing.net

Window Washing Since 1989

Public Notices Reader Notice: As a service to you — our valued readers — we offer the following information. This newspaper will never knowingly accept any advertisement that is illegal or considered fraudulent.

If you have questions or doubts about any ads on these pages, we advise that before responding or sending money ahead of time, you check with the local Attorney General’s Consumer Fraud Line and/or the Better Business Bureau.

This newspaper cannot be held responsible for any negative consequences that occur as a result of you doing business with these advertisers. Thank you.

Early Access to Kindergarten / First Grade for Highly Gifted Students The Uncompahgre Board of Cooperative Services (UnBOCS) and its member districts of Norwood, Ouray, Ridgway, Telluride and the West End, will be accepting applications from parents who believe their child would meet the requirements for early entrance into Kindergarten or First Grade for highly gifted students.

Contact your district elementary principal for the application packet. All applications must be completed and turned in to your elementary school office no later than April 1, 2014.

You may contact the Uncompahgre Board of Cooperative Services (UnBOCS) at 970-626-2977 with any questions about how to obtain this application.

Cumulus Telluride TELLURIDE WINDOW WASHERS • SAN JUAN CHIMNEY SWEEP P.O. Box 3107 • Telluride, CO 81435

(970) 728-5624

20 Years streak-free!

Help Wanted

• Certified • Licensed • Insured

<TMV_LOGO> FAST • SPOTLESS • AFFORDABLE

970-708-7315 Hiring for Summer Gondola Operator/Driver Full Time, Year Round With Benefits Grounds/Plaza Supervisor Police Officer Apply on-line at www.townofmountainvillage.com/ careers EOE/DFW

Trusted No dirty Team! windows • left behind!

One job at • a time Now using • Seventh Insured Generation • soap Quality first www.ropetech-telluride.com

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

PCM is hiring dependable LPNs & RNs for in-home care in Naturita, CO.

<Franz-Klammer-Logo>

LPN $25/hr, RN $32/hr, SIGN ON BONUS AVAILABLE!

Currently Hiring:

Call 866.902.7187 Ext. 350 or apply at www.procasemanagement.com EOE. TOWN OF TELLURIDE PARKS AND RECREATION 2014 SUMMER EMPLOYMENT

17

Temporary, Off-season Laborer Housekeeping Coordinator Housekeeping Supervisor Maintenance Tech II Asst Director, Engineering Hiring for Summer:

Lifeguards – Part Time $13.25/hr 7 days a week between 6:30am – 7:00pm May 19 – Aug. 3 (starting & ending dates will vary) Lifeguard certification required Swim Lesson Instructors - Part Time $14.25/hr weekdays 9:45am – 12:15pm June 4 – Aug. 1 (starting & ending dates will vary) CPR & First Aid required, WSI and Lifeguard Cert. preferred

Dual Licensed Esthetician/ Massage Therapist Closet Attendant Housekeepers, Residences PM Housekeepers, Public Spaces Bell Person/Driver Please visit http://fairmontcareers.com to apply

<Franz-Klammer-Image> Head Swim Lesson Instructor Part Time $15.25/hr weekdays 9:45am – 12:15pm May 28 – Aug. 1 (starting & ending dates will vary) WSI, CPR & First Aid required, Lifeguard Cert. preferred Youth Tennis Camp Instructor – Part Time $18/hr June 9 – 12, June 23 – 26, July 14 - 17 Mon – Th 9:30am - 11:30am & 1:30pm - 3:30pm Must be able to instruct beginner to intermediate levels Previous coaching experience preferred Youth Basketball Camp Instructor – Temporary $18/hr July 28 – Aug. 1 Mon – Fri 8:30am - 4:30pm Must be able to instruct beginner to intermediate levels Previous coaching experience preferred Baseball/Softball Umpires – Part Time $15 - $30 per game DOQ / Division May – July nights & weekends Youth Baseball & Women’s Softball

• Residential & Commercial

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

All above positions available until filled.

Seasonal benefits provided for hourly positions.

For application, job descriptions, and qualifications, visit www.telluride-co.gov or the P & R Department office in Town Park. Please send applications and resumes to cdickinson@telluride-co.gov E. O. E. TELLURIDE BISTRO Hiring for Summer: SERVERS HOSTESS BARTENDER

Assistant Chocolatier with Telluride Truffle. FT year/around position assisting Chief Chocolatier making chocolates and confections.

Professional pastry experience required. Beginning date April/May. email resume: info@TellurideTruffle.com

Email application to telluridebistro@gmail.com

TUB TECH SPAS is seeking long term route hot-tub service person.

Must be clean, efficient, and hard working. Will train. Call 708-0798

Teddy’s Donuts Mid-May to Mid-Oct FT Flexible Schedule Teddysdonuts@gmail.com

Full & part time

one architects is seeking: architectural workhorse w/ great attitude. mad cad skillage a must. archicad even better. job captain to project manager level experience preferred. email your best stuff to: info@onearchitects.com

<TOT_LOGO>

SHANDOKA MAINTENANCE WORKER Maintains Shandoka apartments, facilities, grounds & equipment; Routine maintenance, basic plumbing & electrical repairs; light carpentry; cleaning; landscape maintenance; Full time, some on call hours; full benefit package.

HS or equivalent plus 1 year relevant experience; driver’s license; Good communication skills; ability to perform tasks in all weather conditions; lift 50 lbs; sustain physical exertion. Applications at www.telluride-co.gov. fax 728-3078; e-mail dkipfer@telluride-co.gov Norwood School District Vacancy, Business Manager “In Training” Position Leading to the Business Manager Position.

This full-time position is designed for the purpose of training a person to become the Business Manager in the Spring of 2015. Minimum Qualifications: Experience in Education Finance, Public Finance, or Accounting. Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting/Business Management Preferred.

Please download our job announcement and an application from our website, www.norwoodk12.org or contact our main office at 970-327-4336 x 100.

If you have an application on file, please submit a letter of interest and an updated resume. Applications close April 11, 2014.

EOE

18

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Help Wanted Reams Construction Co. is now hiring heavy equipment operators.

Upcoming project at Hopkins Field Airport in Nucla.

Davis Bacon wages. Stop in to fill out an application or visit our website wwww.reams-construction.com under about us, careers.

<Telluride_School_Logo>

The Telluride School District is Hiring for the Following: Physical Education Teacher: Grades 4-8 Kindergarten Bilingual Spanish/ English Immersion Teacher Telluride Early Childhood Center is Hiring for: Part-time Bilingual Preschool Teacher 11:00 to 5pm Monday through Thursday. Must be fluent in Spanish. Closing date: March 31st For applications and detailed information please see our website: www.tellurideschool.org or email Nancy deCastro ndecastro@telluride.k12.co.us

<SMUGGLER’S_LOGO>

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

San Miguel County

LightHawk is looking for an energetic, results-oriented Development Director to lead all aspects of fundraising strategy and implementation. This is a full-time, home office-based position with benefits. Apply at www.lighthawk.org “careers”

Vegetation Control Program Coordinator <HOTEL_MADELINE_LOGO>> FT 32/hrs wk The Hotel Madeline is hiring for Summer 2014!!

Secure your summer job now with The Hotel Madeline.

Full Benefit Package offered.

The Hotel Madeline is seeking dedicated and energetic indivituals to join our team for the Summer 2014 to commit and deliver World Class Guest Service for the following positions: Group Sales Manager Restaurant Manager Front Office Manager REV - Restaurant Servers AM/PM REV – Restaurant Food Runners, AM/PM SMAK – Servers AM/PM SMAK – Food Runners, AM/PM In Room Dining attendants – AM/PM Bell Staff/Door Person AM/PM Front Desk Agents FT Night Auditor FT Housemen Room Attendants FT Engineer Baristas Part Time: MassageTherapist Nail Technician, Esthetician Spa Attendant

Starting Pay: $3,028/month + benefits package

Assist in coordinating the vegetation control program to include the identification, mapping, monitoring, public education, program administration, pesticide application and control of noxious weeds throughout the County. Exercise functional and technical coordination of seasonal staff. Additional Open Space and Recreational Department duties many apply.

A minimum two years of college and hold a Qualified Supervisor’s License with the State of Colorado required. A minimum of four (4) years experience also required as a weed control specialist, or in a weed management program, including knowledge of State and Federal laws dealing with noxious weed control and herbicide use.

Employment applications available at www.sanmiguelcounty.org. Submit to SMC at 335 Colorado Avenue, Telluride CO 81435 or 1120 Summit Ave, Norwood CO 81423, via email to HR@sanmiguelcounty.org or via fax 970-728-3718. EOE

Apply at Society Conoco

Part-time Service Specialist WPL is looking for a few people with excellent customer service and great computer skills who would like to work with our patrons to fill some part-time positions, including weekends and some evenings.

Please apply online at www.telluridelibrary.org/ employment.

<TOT_Logo> TOWN OF TELLURIDE is seeking a seasonal MAIN STREET RANGER Job responsibilities: cleaning streets, sidewalks, gutters and restrooms, trash pick-up; business liaison; May 15 – Oct 15; 40 hrs/ week; weekends, holidays & evenings; ability to perform physical tasks; verbal communication skills; driver’s license.

Applications at www.telluride-co.gov or Rebekah Hall Equipment/Landscape Foreman: Operate and Maintain, Diesel and Gas Vehicles; Run, manage equipment and coordinate w/ landscape needs for multiple jobs sites. Start 42K-52K pay range commensurate with skill level, Insurance, 2wks+ 5 Holidays paid, 5 personal/sick days after 1year.

728-5555 .

<LUMIERE_LOGO>

You came for the winter; why not stay for the summer!

We’re hiring for the upcoming 2014 summer season.

- Concierge FT-PT - Breakfast chef FT - PT

<logo>

- Breakfast server FT - PT - Housekeeping turndown - Housekeepers FT-PT

Camel’s Garden Hotel is looking for full time front desk and part time night auditor.

Starts mid May. Locally owned so no corporate BS. Hard working do anything to make guest happy applicants need apply.

Please apply in person or call 970-728-9300 ask for Mike or Autumn KOTO wants YOU to volunteer for Street Dance & Scrapplefest.

It’s fun! Set up, tear down, bartending & security.

Go to KOTO.org for Street Dance.

For Scrapplefest email eventscoordinator@KOTO.ORG

Miscellaneous Did you know you can repeat the same ad from the Telluride Daily Planet in the Norwood Post for just 20% extra? This is a great way to extend the reach of your advertisement!

CASH 4 TRASH GOT STUFF? Sell it here. Cash 4 Trash is a classified marketplace where you can sell your items (under $250) at a hugely discounted price*.

Call us at 970-728-9788 x 10 to get your gear SOLD today!!! *some exceptions may apply

Yard Sales MOVING SALE April 4th & 5th at 1200 44 ZS Rd., Norwood. furniture, exercise and camping equipment and more. 8-5.

is seeking a full time, year round Sales Associate.

Must be friendly, responsible and hard working.

EOE Smuggler’s is Hiring for Summer Positions: Servers, Food Runners, and Line Cooks. EXPERIENCE A MUST. Apply in person with resume in hand.

Contact Josh Klein @ josh_klein@rocketmail.com

<ROSIE’S_LOGO>

Closing Date: 4/7/2014

SOCIETY CONOCO Please email resume to jrepola@hotelmadelinetelluride.com or Apply in person at 568 Mountain Village Blvd, Telluride, CO

Rentals Wanted

- Bellman FT-PT Interviews will be scheduled in off season; we reopen on the 20th May. Please contact cevans@lumieretelluride.com with your resume & motivational letter.

Construction Superintendent/Project Manager for high end custom home building company. Send resume to Overly Construction, dennis@overlyconstruction.com or fax 970-728-9718 Did you know your Telluride Daily Planet classified ad is online 7 days a week, reaching 2,500 unique visitors per day?

Commercial Rentals ILIUM INDUSTRIAL PARK OFFICE SPACE month to month leases available $525/mo Call Telecam @ (970) 728-4445 Commercial Space on S. Davis. Creekside with small deck, private bath. $795/mo.

Sally Puff Courtney, 728-3086 PRIME MOUNTAIN VILLAGE CORE LOCATION CENTRUM BUILDING. Office and Retail space Available Immediately.

George Harvey 970-729-0111 2nd Floor Office space for lease in the Willow Building (east of Jagged Edge), up to 1700sf, NNN included.

Mike, 970.708.2157 Main Street Retail/Office space. $1250/mo or $2000/mo. Best Retail Block in Telluride above/below Elinoff. Minimum 1 year lease.

970.708.0679 Telluride Main Street Retail: 381sf Sidewalk Glass sink hookup; Offices: 302sf 2 rooms; 148sf sink, cabinets; 238sf corner windows 970-728-3313 480 SQ FT, 2nd-Floor Office Space.

317 E Colorado (above 8750). Large North Facing Windows & Covered Deck. 1 Parking Space Available, $1100 including NNN. Please call 970-728-5515.

NEEDED: LONG TERM RENTAL PROPERTIES IN TELLURIDE OR MTV. Call...Telluride Luxury Rentals Inc. 970-728-0461

Vacation Rentals Main Street Penthouse!

Wintercrown Building 4 bedroom, 4.5 bath vacation rental. Premier downtown location walkable to everything! www.vrbo.com/501470 Quiet nightly rental in Moab.

Four blocks off Main Street, full kitchen, hot tub. www.neighborhoodsuitesmoab.com or call Helene or Drake, (435) 210-4291

MV Longterm 2bed/2bath, Sunny condo in Meadows Mt. Village Condo, Furnished, Pets Welcome.

Best-Valued Holiday Rentals For Sale By Owner www.rockymtnrentalretreats.com 800.894.9086 970.708.7759 3BR/3BA Developer’s upper-end unit.

Master w/jetted-tub. Gas fireplace.

2-car garage. Unfurnished.

Low utilities. NS/pets-neg. $2500/mo. May 1.

Sign lease by April 6; get $200 off a month!

970-729-3163 3 bed 3 bath end unit fairway 4 townhome available with 1 year lease. Nice features: wood floors, granite counters, decks/views $2200/mo Call Patrick 729-0205

Norwood Longterm

< Cottonwood_Image>

COTTONWOOD CREEK ESTATES 4 BEDROOM/2 BATH HOME @ AN AFFORDABLE PRICE OF ONLY $799 A MONTH! CALL NOW AND RECEIVE YOUR FIRST MONTH FREE! cottonwoodcreekestateshomes.com CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT 970-327-4814 2 bed 2 bath in Norwood. $700 month.

Craig 970-428-2210 greager22@gmail.com Norwood Real Estate Company.

Deposit required.

ORBIT

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

NON-SEQUITUR: WILEY MILLER

Ridgway Long Term

Telluride Long Term

NORTHRIDGE APARTMENTS in Ridgway. Perfect location, close to Telluride, Ouray & Montrose.

2/3 Bedroom Apartments Available.

Unfurnished, starting at $875/$975 INCLUDING UTILITIES. No smoking, Pets negotiable. 970-728-3000

1BDR/1BATH APARTMENT. SUNNY SIDE, GREAT VIEWS, WASHER/DRYER. LONG-TERM LEASE NO PETS OR SMOKERS LONG-TERM LEASE $1500 MONTH 729-2354

Telluride Long Term

Ski Ranches / Ophir

Sunny in-town furnished 2-bdrm house. Off-street parking, patio, views.

No smoking. Available April 16-October 31. $2450./mo + utilities.

970-728-4829

Cozy ski ranches 1 bedroom apartment in a quiet home. W/D $800/month utilities and WIFI included. Single occupancy (970)728 8887

IN TOWN 2 room Efficiency apt. LR/BD kitchen/dining. Sunny views, cozy. $900/month,1 year lease,first/last/ security.

Available May 1. 970-729-0737 rhs@montrose.net

DILBERT: SCOTT ADAMS

Homes FSBO only $111,000 1bd/1ba 555 sq ft Lawson Condo. On bus route w/ covered parking spot and storage.

Turn your rent into equity! Chris 970-209-7314

MONTY: JIM MEDDICK

<090813_412Pacific_Photo>

Contractors/Engineers

4 Bedroom / 4.5 bath Duplex Home Next to Gondola, available May 1st. $7000 / Month + Utilities NEW UNIT Call JJ @ Nevasca Realty 970-729-0065 Eider Creek Sunny w/views, 1BR+loft, 2BA, W/D, gas fireplace. Parking. No smoking/ pets. $1300/month + utilities.

6-12 Month Lease.

CALL: 970-729-0178 5 bedroom/6bathroom house for year lease. Sunny with exceptional views. $4200(income from garage apt).

Avail now. 708-3946 Classifieds ads are small but POWERFUL The Telluride Daily Planet has the largest reach of any media in the region and is the only newspaper dedicated to news and information about the Telluride area.

Beautiful Ski Ranches home for long term rent $3900/month: 3 BR/Bath, Office, tennis court and 3 car garage. Available April. email cmac@alumni.lsu.edu or call 225-612-8268

!

ED T N E

R

<135_West_Galena>

<MTN BUILDERS-LOGO> MARK CARLSON - General Contractor Building Locally Since 1979 ICC Certified New Construction & Renovations (970) 728-4947 telluridemountainbuilders.com

Education BE A MASSAGE THERAPIST NEXT SKI SEASON! MountainHeart School in Crested Butte! 6 Month CMT Program. June 3rd.

800-673-0539 www.mountainheart.org

Seasonal Rental, avail: 4/20 Eider Creek 1 Bed, 1 Bath Unfurnished No smoking, No Pets Unit is on the market for sale and must be available for real estate showings. Call Peggy Nerlin, Broker Telluride Asset Property Management, LLC 970-708-7944

BIZARRO: DAN PIRAR0

CLOSE TO HOME: JOHN MCPHERSON

WANT YOUR AD TO BE SEEN?!!

135 West Galena Avenue Now available for a long term lease. Six bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, 2 houses, One of the finest family compounds in the Town of Telluride at a quiet, very convenient location.

Starting at $20,000 per month plus utilities. Available Sept 1, 2014.

Please call JJ, Nevasca Realty @ #970-729-0065 Furnished Tomboy Studio, Corner Unit, Balcony, Efficiency Kitchen, Avail- 4-15. 1 year lease required. No Pets, No Smoking, $925.00/month + utilities 970-708-3899

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE: LYNN JOHNSTON

UNIVERSAL SUDOKU

Complete the grid so that every row, column and 3x3 box contains every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively.

Difficulty rating: 1 Previous puzzle solution:

Get noticed in

THE PLANET By 40,000 readers WEEKLY 728-9788 ext. 10

19

20

APRIL 1, 2014

HOROSCOPE

By SALLY BROMPTON www.sallybrompton.com BIRTHDAY TUESDAY: You may think you can do as you please and, in the short-term, you may be right.

But your birthday chart warns you need to take loved one’s feelings into account if you want them to stand by you long-term. Do that and this will be a fabulous year.

ARIES (March 21 - April 20): The more others try to make you change your mind about something the more you must dig in your heels and refuse to be moved. You know what is right and what is wrong, so make your own decision and stick to it.

TAURUS (April 21 - May 21): There is no point getting worked up over something you can’t do much about. Having said that, while you may not be able to change things on a social or political level you can change things on a personal level.

Just be a better person.

GEMINI (May 22 - June 21): Something you have been worrying about for quite a while will fade in significance today and that’s good. But has the cause of the worry actually gone or has it merely faded into the background? You need to find out.

burger + fries

CANCER (June 22 - July 23): If someone you have feelings for seems unresponsive today don’t think it means you are drifting apart. Most likely they just need to spend some time by themselves for a while to think things through. Give them the space they need.

LEO (July 24 - Aug. 23): You may want to be friends with everyone but today’s Sun-Jupiter link warns you need to be discerning. The fact is there are some people who you will never get along with because you are on different emotional and intellectual levels.

$7

ACROSS 1 Knocked off 6 Parsley bit 11 German auto known by its manufacturer’s initials 14 Online publication 15 Maine university town 16 Vote for 17 Isn’t serious 19 Hosp. areas for lifesaving operations 20 Suffix with lemon or orange 21 Pick up the tab for someone 22 News item of passing concern?

23 Compete 24 Computer memory unit 27 Weapons depot 31 French girlfriend 32 Cheech’s partner in 1970s-’80s movies 33 Writer ___ Rogers St. Johns

LIBRA (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23): There may be a thousand and one things you want to do today but Jupiter, planet of success but also excess, warns you must not to take on too much. Get partners and loved ones to do more things for you – they will if you ask nicely.

WHISKEY

TUES

WED

H A Y S T A B L A C R I S K O P T S A R R D E O R B A D E A D O S N E M O D R E W

Calendar The Telluride Daily Planet accepts local calendar items via e-mail at calendar@ telluridedailyplanet.com. Please, no phone calls. Events may take several days to appear in the published events calendar and may not run each day due to space considerations.

TUESDAY, APRIL 1: ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING: 7 a.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): There is no point getting annoyed about things that are beyond your control – you know that already. So why are you allowing what everyone agrees is a quite minor event to cause major shockwaves in your life? Get over it – now.

PRENATAL YOGA: 9-10 a.m., Wilkinson Public Library, with Regan

PISCES (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20): You have some important personal issues to deal with, issues that won’t wait, so let your friends know they may be seeing less of you for a while. Get your emotional life in order first, then go out and have fun with your mates.

TELLURIDE TOWN COUNCIL: 10 a.m., Rebekah Hall

THURS

FRI

$ 150 cheese burger + beef tacos IS LADIES BURGER $ 550 fried chicken fish tacos DAY+NIGHT NIGHT $ 4 sliders $ 2 +WING $7 margs burger + fries Yorksliders Times Syndication Sales Corporation $ 2 NIGHT 3 buffalo tequila shotsThe $New specialty drinks $ 4 620jack Eighth Avenue, York, N.Y. $ 4 New ladies drink 1/2 off 10018 & coke For Information jim beam shots $ 3Call: all 1-800-972-3550 day + night $7 For Release Monday, March 12 hot wings31, 2014

SAT + SUN WHITE TRASH BRUNCH

Finlandia bloody $ 4 w/ pbr side car Milwaukee Mimosa $2 + red beers

131 North Fir Street, Telluride, CO 970.728.6207

36 Lucy of “Charlie’s Angels,” 2000 39 Author who created the characters named by the starts of 17-, 24-, 49- and 61-Across 42 Ensign’s org.

43 Spittin’ ___ 44 Actor MacLeod of old TV 45 Romantic outing 47 Having sides of different lengths, as a triangle 49 Maryland home of the Walter Reed medical center 53 Mrs., in Marseille 54 Newswoman Logan 55 Three-time A.L. batting champion Tony 57 Not bright 60 Smart ___ whip

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE C R A N E

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Something you have been working on for quite some time needs to be left alone for a while. According to the planets you have got so involved with it that other areas of your life are being neglected. Time to balance things out again.

VIRGO (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23): Others will be generous with you if you are generous with them. Let friends and colleagues know you are willing to work alongside them not just for your benefit but for the benefit of everyone. Teamwork is essential now, in all areas.

NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD Crossword

L I T R E

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21): You may hear something about your money situation that brings a smile to your face today but don’t be too hasty. The planets warn there is a chance you are being misled, so don’t go on a spending spree on the strength of a promise.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22): Some of what you hear over the next 24 hours may be less than complimentary but in the greater scheme of things it is of no

TACO + TEQUILA

OPEN 11:30 AM TO MIDNIGHT

A P S E S

real importance, so don’t let it upset your equilibrium. What happened to that famous Scorpio spirit?

COMMUNITY HEALTH CLINIC: 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Elks Lodge, acupuncture, rolfing, nutritional counseling, $50

CUB SCOUT PACK/BOY SCOUT TROOP 500 MEETING: 3:30 p.m., Elks Lodge, for more information contact Janet Kask at 708-1264 HOMEBUYER EDUCATION CLASS: 5-9 p.m., SMRHA conference room

BURGER NIGHT #2 /TRIVIA NIGHT

MON

ORBIT

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

E M I S T E S H A T H O H O W O T D A A O K M A G S I T C O M J I M I O S N G G I A R C W H A D O M

T S I P M E D S L A I C M T E U P L A N H A T A I N

B O S V O E M Y W S I N D E E E R I N G S H A T

A M E R I C A N O

S A M A R I T A N

E R I K S A T I E

A R E A R

S A L M I

E S S E X

61 Chemical compound in “poppers” 64 Nov. follower 65 Centuries-old object 66 Roof overhangs 67 Antlered animal 68 Justice Kagan 69 Considers DOWN 1 ___ vu 2 Sport shirt brand 3 It holds back the water in Holland 4 Suffix with serpent 5 Place to lay an egg 6 Peeved 7 Like some televised tourneys 8 What a travel planner plans 9 Quaint lodging 10 The Almighty 11 1957 Everly Brothers hit with the repeated lyric “Hello loneliness” 12 Deserve 13 Trash 18 Kind of rug or code 22 Geisha’s sash 23 “___, vidi, vici” 25 Black-tie party 26 United, as corporations or labor unions 27 Rights org.

28 Greek R’s 29 Film score 30 Dalai ___

Edited by Will Shortz 1

2

3

4

5

6

14 17

9

10

11

18

28

29

32

33

25 31

34

35

36

37

38

41

43

44

46

47

50

51

54

55

52

48 53

56

57

60

61

64

65

62 66

67

68

69

58

59

MOVIE: “Non-Stop” (PG-13) 5:30 p.m., “Winter’s Tale” (PG-13) 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2:

FREE HEALTH SCREENINGS: 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Wilkinson Public Library, with TriCounty Health Network, cholesterol, blood glucose, blood pressure, BMI, height and weight BAABAA BASICS: 3-5 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts, $25 plus materials

63

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING: 5:30 p.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia

PUZZLE BY ADAM G. PERL

34 ___ Hammarskjöld, former U.N. secretary general 35 Hurricane centers 37 “Put ___ writing!”

38 ___ Reader (alternative magazine)

40 Iowa State’s home 41 Racer Yarborough 46 “I’ve got it!”

48 The year 906 49 Bit of grass 50 Artist’s stand 51 Holmes’s creator 52 Tuckered out 56 Ancient Peruvian

57 Action from a springboard 58 Thing

SUMMER RUNNING TRAINING FROM 5K TO IMOGENE PASS RUN: 6-7 p.m., Arroyo, with Jill Burchmore, 708-5037, free

59 Pigsty 61 “What ___ the chances?”

62 Singer Tormé 63 “Norma ___”

“A FIERCE GREEN FIRE: THE BATTLE FOR A LIVING PLANET”: 6-8 p.m., Wilkinson Public Library, with Sheep Mountain Alliance

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year).

Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay.

Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

Have a NEWS TIP or

STORY SUGGESTION?

We want to hear from you! Send us your news tips and story ideas.

Email our Editorial Department at editor@telluridedailyplanet.com or give us a call (970)728-9788

UPCOMING: PILATES WITH ANIKKE: April 3, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Wilkinson Public Library GET HOOKED: April 3, 3-5 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts, beginning crochet, $25 plus materials LILY VON SCHTUPP: April 3, 5-9 p.m., Arroyo, art walk wine specials SPRING YOUTH ART EXHIBITION: April 3, 5-8 p.m., Ah Haa School for the Arts ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: April 3, 5:30 p.m., Alpine Chapel ART WALK: April 3, 5-8 p.m., galleries, studios and venues around town BODY INTELLIGENCE SEMINAR: April 3, 6-8 p.m., Museum of the Mountain West, Montrose, $35, for more information call 970-249-4162 DJ SOUL ATOMIC: April 3, 9 p.m., Last Dollar Saloon EARPHUNK: April 3, 10 p.m., Fly Me to the Moon Saloon, $5 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING: April 4, 7 a.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia

KNIT NITE: 7-9 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts

YOGA WITH CARRIE: 8-9 a.m., Wilkinson Public Library

26

40

45

CRAFT YOUR PERFECT RESUME WITH BETH KELLY: 6-8 p.m., Ah Haa School for the Arts

19

30

42

13

22 24

39

12

16

21 23

49

8

15

20

27

7

No. 0224

TALKING GOURDS POETRY CLUB: 6 p.m., Arroyo, with Jack Mueller

MOVIE: “Winter’s Tale” (PG-13) 5:30 p.m., “Non-Stop” (PG-13) 8 p.m., Nugget Theatre

SKIPPY CAVITY PREVENTION PROGRAM: April 4, 8:30 a.m.-2 p.m., Telluride Mountain School, education, fluoride treatments, sealants, tchnetwork.org or 708-7096 YOGA WITH ANDREA: April 4, 8:30-10 a.m., Wilkinson Public Library OPEN KNITTING CIRCLE: April 4, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Needle Rock Fiberarts ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING: April 4, 5:30 p.m., Christ Presbyterian, 434 W. Columbia RETROGRADE: April 4, 5-8:30 p.m., Michael D. Palm Theatre, a progressive, intimate dance show, produced and choreographed by Amanda Carlson, directed

by Katy Parnello, show times at 5, 5:45, 6:30, 7:15 and 8 p.m., each audience will be capped at 15 people, expect to be on your feet for a 20-minute show KEVIN MCCARTHY JAZZ TRIO: April, 4, 7-10 p.m., Arroyo WHITEWATER RAMBLE WITH SWEETWATER STRING BAND: April 4, 10 p.m., Fly Me to the Moon Saloon, $10

NEW AMERICAN CUISINE AN ECLECTIC BLEND OF FLAVORS AND STYLES SERVED IN AND INTIMATE ATMOSPHERE.

Tarts, pies, cakes, ice creams, sorbets, puddings and to top it all off, even the chocolate sauce is handmade.

Just Steps Away From The Gondola • Open 5:30 pm to Close 970-728-9507 • 221SouthOak.com

ORBIT

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

Computer Consulting mac . pc . networks . recovery

Reuse & Recycle Computer Parts

- Large stock of available Protect your home’sparts, integrity. new and used Our people, your property…a smart investment.

21

1

MAC/PC Tech Support • Housekeeping • Concierge Caretaking • Maintenance Computer Cleaning 24/7 Service 30 Years Tech Experience

Brian Reilley 970.728.3190 970.729.0117www.telluridepropertyservices.com brian@bitwrx.com Keaton McCargo, center left, and Tom Rowley, center right, stand on top of the podium at the Junior World Ski Championship in Italy after they took first place finishes in freestyle events. [Photo courtesy of Jenny Page]

Finish season on high notes SKIING, from page 26

just wanted to go out there, trust my skiing and have fun. Hopefully I’ll ski well at selections and earn some World Cup starts.”

Rowley said the toughest course this season was the Val Saint-Come event in Canada in early February. He said the course was icy, hard-packed and just difficult all around, but he

did manage to nail a first-place finish at the event in dual moguls.

He is excited to finish his season on a high note, and now he said he’d be training hard until next winter. He said he is going to strive for a good spot during selections next December.

Scott Rawles, who is head moguls coach for McCargo and

Rowley, said he was happy to see such a solid performance at Junior Worlds.

“It’s great at a big event like Junior Worlds to be able to see these young athletes rise to the occasion and see the future of the team in front of our eyes,” Rawles said on the U.S. Ski Team’s website.

Soccer disaster SOCCER, from page 26

25th anniversary of Hillsborough will be held at Anfield.

The new hearings come after the families have fought for more than two decades to prove their claims that misconduct and mistakes by authorities were responsible for the deaths. Prime Minister David Cameron has already lambasted the “failure of the state to protect their loved ones” and “denigration of the deceased.”

Documents released in 2012 uncovered a sophisticated attempt by police to shift the

blame onto the Liverpool fans by instructing officers to change statements and insinuate that many fans were drunk and had violent and criminal histories.

Many of the fans died because of lack of attention from police and emergency services after about 2,000 supporters were herded by officers into cagedin enclosures that were already full. The jury will study previously unseen video footage from the day and a three-dimensional model of Hillsborough before visiting the stadium where Sheffield Wednesday still plays.

Inquests cannot determine criminal liability for individuals, but a verdict of unlawful killing would give families of the victims a sense of vindication. Two criminal investigations are running parallel to the inquests, in which 22 people, including retired or current police officers, have been identified as potential suspects. Some suspects have already been questioned on a range of offenses, including manslaughter, misconduct in a public office and obstructing justice, according to a police watchdog.

Vonn hopes to return VONN, from page 26

ing, no matter how antsy she’s growing to step back into the starting gate.

“If I have to push the date back when I start, so be it,” Vonn told The Associated Press on Saturday. “To ensure the next four years go smoothly, I have to give this meniscus some time to heal.”

In between rehabilitation sessions, the 29-year-old Vonn is finding plenty of other things to occupy her time. She’s sneaking in some fly fishing with her dog, Leo, starting a new foundation and having coffee with skiing great Annemarie Moser-Proell, whose record Vonn is chasing.

Vonn remains three wins from matching the World Cup record of 62 race victories by Moser-

Proell.

“She wants me to break her record,” Vonn said. “You don’t see that. I think she’s a really, really nice person and I really enjoyed spending time with her.”

Vonn ventured around Beaver Creek on Saturday to support “Ski Girls Rock,” a program that focuses on empowering girls through skiing. She met with the kids, signed autographs, posed for pictures and then called a brief timeout to sit on an outdoor couch near a fire pit to rest her knee and film a video. She put an ice bag on the knee as she settled into the couch.

“The knee is coming along nicely,” she said. “It’s obviously a slow process, but I’m making progress every day, so that’s good.”

Vonn has already decided she’s not even going to try to walk every hole as she trails boyfriend Tiger Woods around at the Masters next month — provided, of course, Woods even plays, given his ailing back.

“We’ll see how far I make it,” Vonn said. “With my meniscus the way it is, it’s not great to be on my feet all the time.”

Vonn tore two ligaments in her right knee during a highspeed crash at the world championships in February 2013. She then re-injured her surgically repaired ACL in a crash during training last November. Vonn tried to rehab the knee in time for Sochi, but sprained her MCL racing a downhill in France on Dec. 21.

Computer Consulting mac . pc . networks . recovery

MAC/PC Tech Support Computer Cleaning

2

No additional charge for emergency support on evenings, weekends & Holidays 30 Years Tech Experience

Brian Reilley 970.729.0117 brian@bitwrx.com

Computer Consulting mac . pc . networks . recovery

Issue with your PDA, Iphone, Blackberry or Ipod?

• Broken Screen • Battery Replacement • Dead Hard Drive • Frozen Screen No Need to send away, contact me

Brian Reilley 970.729.0117 brian@bitwrx.com

3

APRIL 1, 2014

ORBIT

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

SMOKE LESS, DRINK MORE

Tuesday Local’s Day

15% off wine 10% off liquor Open 10-10:30 Everyday Off Street Parking

MARCH MADNESS

Fearsome Final Foursome headed to North Texas

123 E. Colorado (970)728-3380 www.tellurideliquors.com or Visit us on Facebook

No upstarts or Cinderella stories in Final Four

By JOHN MARSHALL

Ne e d a be t te r c l e a n i n g c rew ?

R e l a x . . . c a l l Aj a x .

Vacation Rentals & Property Managem ent

e d i r u l l e T t e L u o y m l e h w r e v o latitude38vacationrentals.com Latitude38VacationRentals

970.728.8838

@Telluride_Lat38

James & Sinny Serving Telluride Since 1999

Family Owned & Operated.

Hire the Builder, a RICHARDSON is on the job Everyday!

Many local references available

Residential & Commercial James - 970.729.0854 Sinny - 970.729.0853 jandsrichardsonconstruction.com

Alpine Wellness Medical We have a room just for you!!

No lines & same great price Just present your Red Card at the front

12 premium strains available Open Monday - Saturday 10 - 6 alpinewellness.co

F

AP Basketball Writer

lorida had not been to the Final Four since all those future firstround draft picks were in Gainesville. Wisconsin and coach Bo Ryan had never been.

Connecticut wasn’t allowed to play in the NCAA tournament a year ago, and Kentucky supposedly had no shot at getting to North Texas after a midseason swoon.

Unlike the past few years, there will be no upstarts or Cinderella in the Final Four.

These are the big boys all right, but each one has a big chip on their shoulders.

“In down times, what you do is you bond together as brothers,” UConn coach Kevin Ollie said.

“And you hold that fist up.”

Billy Donovan won a pair of national titles at Florida with Joakim Noah, Corey Brewer and Al Horford, all top-10 NBA picks in the 2007 NBA draft. After that second title, he accepted the head coaching job with the NBA’s Orlando Magic, then changed his mind after the introductory news conference.

Donovan continued to produce winning teams in Gainesville, but the biggest wins eluded the Gators. They lost in the regional

www.telluride-co.gov

22

final each of the past three seasons.

That changed when the ferocious Gators (36-2) rode their chomping defense through a 30game winning streak capped by Saturday’s 62-52 win over bracket darling Dayton.

“We didn’t start off the exact way that we should have, but coach Donovan continued to remind us and humble us and help us see that, in order to get where we want to get to, the end goal, we have to continue to chase greatness every single day and stay in the moment,” Florida forward Patric Young said.

To win another title, the Gators will have to go through the last two teams to beat them this season (UConn and Wisconsin) or their biggest SEC rival (Kentucky).

The Huskies won the 2011 national title with coach Jim Calhoun and one-man show Kemba Walker.

Things went sour in Storrs after that. Calhoun retired in 2012 and UConn was barred from the NCAA tournament last season for failing to meet the NCAA’s academic progress measure.

UConn’s upperclassmen decided to stick it out instead of transferring and put together another magical bracket run behind

another do-it-all-player, former Walker understudy Shabazz Napier. With their 60-54 win over Michigan State on Sunday, the Huskies (30-8) became the first No. 7 seed to reach the Final Four since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985.

UConn beat Florida 65-64 way back on Dec. 2, the Gators’ last loss this season.

“We play a great Florida team and we’re going to be well prepared, because I know about these guys’ heart, and that’s what got us through,” Ollie said.

Then there’s Bo. Wisconsin’s tell-it-like-it-is coach had been a regular at the Final Four, taking his father, Butch, to every one since 1976 as a birthday gift.

Bo had a hard time getting there with his team, though, winning over 700 games, playing in the NCAA tournament 13 straight years and reaching the Sweet 16 six times — and not one trip to the Final Four.

Bo and the Badgers (30-7) get their chance now after pulling out an emotional 64-63 win over top-seeded Arizona in the West Regional final on Saturday, which would have been Butch Ryan’s 90th birthday.

OFF SEASON EXPRESS BUS!!!

April 7 April 7 ‐ May 21

The Galloping Goose is proud to offer a new and exciting

“Express Bus”

between the Towns of Telluride and Mountain Village

   

Monday ‐ Friday Four (4) roundtrips in the morning; Two (2) in the early evening Runs directly between the Blue Mesa bus stop and the San Miguel County Courthouse and vice versa The Telluride ‐ Mountain Village shuttle, including stops at Gold Run, Lawson Hill, and the Meadows, will also be running in addition to this Express Bus

Questions? Call 728‐2179 Or email jwhite@telluride‐co.gov

ORBIT

APRIL 1, 2014

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

23

HOCKEY

Avalanche make playoffs with 3-2 win over San Jose First playoff berth in four years

D

ENVER (AP) — The Colorado Avalanche are back in the postseason.

But they may have to move on without Matt Duchene.

If Semyon Varlamov continues his breakout season, the Avalanche might not miss their leading scorer.

Varlamov had a season-high 47 saves and Colorado clinched its first playoff berth in four years with a 3-2 win over the San Jose Sharks on Saturday.

Center John Mitchell had a goal and an assist for the Avalanche, who moved past Chicago into second place in the Central Division with 100 points in what might have been a costly victory.

Duchene suffered a left knee injury on the opening shift Saturday when he collided with teammate Jamie McGinn near the Sharks blue line. He fell to the ice and then gingerly skated to the bench.

He is scheduled to have an MRI on Sunday.

“We’ll know more after that,” coach Patrick Roy said. “It’s not good news for him and it’s not good news for us. It’s the way it’s been all year.”

Despite the injuries — Colora-

AUTHENTIC EUROPEAN LIEGE & BRUSSELS WAFFLES B’FAST & LUNCH SANDWICHES MADE FROM SCRATCH DAILY

THE BEST COFFEE & ESPRESSO ON THE MOUNTAIN

Mountain Village Town Hall Plaza By the Market & Gondola

Colorado Avalanche goalie Semyon Varlamov, front, of Russia, celebrates as left wing Cody McLeod looks on after the Avalanche’s 3-2 victory over the San Jose Sharks in an NHL hockey game in Denver on Saturday. [AP Photo/David Zalubowski] do has lost top-six forwards Alex Tanguay and P.A. Parenteau — the constant has been Varlamov.

He came through again against the relentless Sharks, who threw 74 shots at him. Colorado blocked 25.

“I’m guessing he was the first star,” San Jose coach Todd McLellan said of Varlamov. “He should be.”

Down a player, Varlamov made up for it with an outstanding per-

formance. He stopped 20 shots in the third period, many during the final minutes when the Sharks were trying to get the equalizer.

His 37 wins are the most in the NHL and a big reason the Avalanche reached 100 points for the first time in 10 years.

“He’s been tremendous,” captain Gabe Landeskog said. “I think it’s safe to say we wouldn’t be here without him.”

1/2 PRICE PRIXFIXE 5:30 - 6:30 MARCH 30 - APRIL 6

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK AT 5:30 • 970-728-6232 150 WEST SAN JUAN AVE. - WWW.LAMARMOTTE.COM

HAPPY HOUR 5-6pm DAILY ½ price sushi • $5 cosmopolitans wine specials bar and lobby areas

LOCATED IN THE HOTEL COLUMBIA, JUST STEPS AWAY FROM THE GONDOLA

for reservations go to www.cosmotelluride.com 970.728.1292

Please help us say farewell to

Becky Padilla Thursday, April 3, 5pm to 7pm at the

New Sheridan

Centennial Room Cash bar

After a long career at the medical center, the “vaccination queen” is moving on.

Join us to wish her well and send her off in style!

NOW ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS Call today to make an appointment with your own Private Provider The Region’s Premier Healthcare Provider

tellmed.org • 500 West Pacific Avenue • 970-728-3848

24

APRIL 1, 2014

ORBIT

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

BASEBALL

Dodgers set payroll record at $234M

Telluride’s Living Room

OPEN FOR WINTER

Yankees second at $199 million

ARROYO GALLERY & WINE BAR | 220 E. COLORADO AVE. | 970.239.2006

By RONALD BLUM

Solutions for all Your Insurance Needs Clifford Hansen, Owner/Broker 135 W. Colorado Ave. Ste 2E (970) 728-2200

insurancesanjuans.com

N

AP Sports Writer

EW YORK (AP) — The Los Angeles Dodgers set a record with an opening-day payroll of $234 million Sunday, according to a study of big league contracts by The Associated Press.

The New York Yankees were a distant second at $199 million, ending their streak of six straight openers above the $200 million mark. The Yankees had topped the opening-day salary list for 15 straight years and had set the previous mark of $230 million last season.

The Dodgers spent more than five times the total of the Houston Astros, who at $45 million were last for the second straight year but vastly above their $27 million outlay on opening day last season. Miami, at $47 million, repeated in 29th place.

“I think we’ve all noticed,” San Francisco manager Bruce Bochy said of the Dodgers’ spending splurge. “We can’t get caught into it. I’ve always preached this to the players: There’s no point in looking at what other clubs are doing or who they have, their assets, this and that. It’s what

you believe in yourself and your focus always has to be on your club.”

Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke ended Alex Rodriguez’s 13year streak as the highest-paid player, earning $28 million, including a prorated share of his signing bonus. He’s followed by Philadelphia’s Ryan Howard and Cliff Lee at $25 million each, the Yankees’ CC Sabathia at $24.3 million, and Seattle’s Robinson Cano and Texas’ Prince Fielder at $24 million apiece.

The average salary was $3.95 million for the 853 players on opening-day rosters and disabled lists, plus two players serving suspensions who earn part of their salaries. That was up 8.2 percent from last year’s opening average of $3.65 million, the steepest increase since 2006.

More than half the players — 486 — earn $1 million or more.

And that doesn’t even include two big-money deals in the lead-up to Sunday night’s North American opener between the Dodgers and San Diego: In a pair of agreements Friday, Detroit’s Miguel Cabrera earned a $292 million, 10-year contract that adds eight additional seasons and $248 million to his exist-

ing deal, and young Los Angeles Angels star Mike Trout reached a $144.5 million, six-year agreement that starts in 2015.

MLB’s median salary, the point where an equal number earn above and below, is $1,475,000 — up from $1,262,500 at the start of last season.

Average and median salaries decline over the course of the season as veterans are released and replaced by younger players making closer to the minimum, which is $500,000 this year.

The players’ association calculated last season’s final average at $3.39 million, about $60,000 more than Major League Baseball’s figure.

The AP’s figures include salaries and prorated shares of signing bonuses and other guaranteed income for players on active rosters, disabled lists and the restricted list. For some players, parts of deferred money are discounted to reflect current values.

Payroll figures factor in adjustments for cash transactions in trades, signing bonuses that are the responsibility of the club agreeing to the contract, option buyouts and termination pay for released players.

APRIL 1, 2014

DAILY

136 S AN JO AQU

Cassidy Ridge

OP E N

HO U S

IN BO ULEV ARD MOUN T

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

ES 1 4 A

IN VI LLAG E

luxury flats, townhomes, and penthouses mountain village, colorado

* new ownership and new amenities * same amazing views and finishes ... starting at ... $799,000 for two bedrooms $1,240,000 for three bedrooms $1,795,000 for four bedrooms

call for a personal tour and check out cassidyridgetelluride.com

Patrick Pelisson, Broker I pat@tellurideproperties.com I 970.708.1384 I CassidyRidgeTelluride.com Sales Center: In the Granita Building adjacent to the top of Lift 1 in Mountain Village

25

SOCCER

NEW INQUIRY INTO HILLSBOROUGH SOCCER DISASTER New hearings could take about a year

Tuesday Focus: Sports & Recreation

ORBIT

1.

2.

3.

The Talking Gourds Poetry Club meets Tuesday at 6 p.m. at Arroyo. This month’s featured poet is part-time Ridgway resident Jack Mueller. Bring some poetry — original or someone else’s — to share.

Are you in the job market? Learn how to craft your perfect resume with Beth Kelly.

The class is from 6-8 p.m. at the Ah Haa School for the Arts.

Get free health screenings Wednesday at the Wilkinson Public Library. The TriCounty Health Network will be offering cholesterol, blood glucose, blood pressure, BMI, height and weight screenings from 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

THE SECOND FRONT PAGE APRIL 1, 2014

By ROB HARRIS

L

AP Sports Writer

ONDON (AP) — As Liverpool closes in on its first English league title in 24 years, fans are returning to the club’s darkest day.

After years of campaigning to expose wrongdoing by the authorities, new inquests into Britain’s worst sports disaster are beginning this week, with the families of the 96 Liverpool fans crushed to death at Hillsborough in 1989 seeking verdicts of unlawful killing.

The original accidental death verdicts were overturned by the High Court in London in 2012 after fresh documents uncovered a cover-up by police.

The deaths came during Liverpool’s FA Cup semifinal against Nottingham Forest. A standing-only section of the stadium for visiting fans became overcrowded, and authorities sought to place the blame on the victims by characterizing the disaster as a result of hooliganism.

Liverpool fan groups maintain that police were to blame for herding the fans into that section to avoid overcrowding outside the stadium.

The new hearings could take about a year, with jury selection beginning Monday in Warrington near Liverpool. Over the next month, families will be able to tell the jury about their relatives who died.

“I’m really, really nervous.

It’s been a long, long fight,” said Charlotte Hennessy, who lost her father James Robert Hennessy in the disaster when she was 6 years old. “Hopefully, this is the beginning of the end. I was a bit of an emotional wreck this weekend. I’ve not slept a wink.”

The coming weeks will be emotionally charged for Liverpool fans.

The team is on the cusp of winning the league for the first time since 1990, with eight straight victories putting Liverpool on top of the Premier League. If the team wins the remaining six games, Liverpool is guaranteed the trophy.

The biggest game comes at home against title rival Manchester City on April 13 — two days before a service to mark the See SOCCER, Page 21

Birthdays April 1: Ron Bercovitz, Tarja Berry, Kitty Brown, Karen Burns, James Gauvin, Doug Geissler, Levi Heinold, David Henry, Susanna Hoffman, Julie Houck, Angela Johnson, Charlie Kane, Timothy Misavage, Gina Nocera, Haley Ortiz, Edward Powell, Elke Rock, Lea Sisson, Donna Stapleton, Stephanie Voorlas, Dani Whittaker, Dustin Williams, Gerald Wilson.

FREESTYLE SKIING

SKIING

Both take first places at Junior World Ski Championships in Italy

VONN HOPES TO RETURN TO RACING IN EARLY DECEMBER

McCargo, Rowley finish season on high note

By COLLIN MCRANN

A

Staff reporter

stellar season has come to a close for two of Telluride’s top freestyle skiers as Keaton McCargo and Tom Rowley earned first-place finishes at the Junior World Ski Championships.

McCargo, 18, and Rowley, 20, took the podium at the Chiesa Valmalenco ski resort in Italy last week after competing in events on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. McCargo won the singles moguls and took third in the dual moguls. Rowley took first in the single moguls and second in the duals event.

Junior World events feature a solid lineup of competitors with some of the world’s best young athletes vying for top positions.

McCargo and Rowley both won moguls events at Junior Worlds with the U.S. Ski Team last year as well, and while their season might be over, they are already looking forward to next year.

Their recent finishes put both in good standing for next season.

“I tried to compete similarly to the way I did last year,” McCargo said on the U.S. Ski Team website. “To have fun and remember why I’m skiing in the first place, and that’s to have fun. The field has been really strong both years, so I’m really happy that I was able to ski well through each round, and rely on my skiing when it counted. Looking ahead, I want to remember to keep skiing the way I have been, which is aggressively, and remember to have fun.”

McCargo had some career bests this year in World Cup events and on the Nor-Am Cup. On March 16 she took sixth in a World Cup dual mogul event in Voss-Myrkdalen, Norway, and she won two Nor-Am dual moguls events in Canada in February.

Vonn taking it slow with surgically repaired knee

By PAT GRAHAM

B

Telluride freestyle skier Keaton McCargo took a first and third place finish at the Junior World Ski Championships in Italy last week. [Photo courtesy of Jenny Page] Over the past few years McCargo has been a strong competitor in the freestyle circuit and she has been moving up in the ranks every year.

Valmalenco is known for its steep grade and challenging terrain, but Telluride’s own steep mogul courses provided an ample training ground. The conditions this year at Valmalenco

were great, which allowed for the athletes to really show off their stuff.

“The course was skiing really well all day,” Rowley said. “My first run felt really good, and I was able to ski fast and keep that momentum moving through all the rounds. I was confident in my training earlier in the day, and I

See SKIING, Page 21

Wilkinson Public Library

AP Sports Writer

EAVER CREEK, Colo.

(AP) — Lindsey Vonn knows it was just some youthful exuberance when teenager Mikaela Shiffrin playfully announced she was dreaming of winning five gold medals at the next Winter Olympics.

Vonn certainly appreciates such a lofty goal by Shiffrin, who captured the slalom title at the Sochi Games last month.

A light-hearted warning, though.

“I’m going to compete in the 2018 Olympics,” Vonn said with a laugh. “So she’s going to have tough competition in the speed events.”

With four years down the road in mind, Vonn is taking it slow with her surgically repaired right knee. She said she doesn’t anticipate a return to racing until early December.

The four-time overall World Cup champion had her ACL fixed for a second time in January, sidelining her for Sochi. As it turned out, there was “quite a bit of meniscus damage” in the knee and that’s caused her to push back her time frame.

Vonn hopes to train on snow

by October and be racing in Lake Louise, Alberta, two months later, on a hill where she’s always done well.

But that’s all tentative.

No sense rushing back to racSee VONN, Page 21

Fun and free programs and events every week for kids and adults.

Check out Telluride’s 5 star library!

More at www.telluridelibrary.org and www.facebook.com/wilkinson.telluride

ORBIT

APRIL 1, 2013

TELLURIDE DAILY PLANET

27

Letters

It’s bad stuff DEAR EDITOR,

False alarm

Multiple reports were made to the authorities on Sunday after an unidentified flying object was spotted over Ajax Peak. Authorities were unsure what it was, so Blider Gob Saunders flew his glider plane out to inspect the unidentified vessel. He determined that it was a cloud. [Courtesy photo]

NEWS IN BRIEF SKI RESORT

ROUNDABOUT TO BE BUILT ON WOOZLEY’S

The Telluride Ski & Golf Company is building a roundabout at the top of Woozley’s Way to better manage traffic at the mountain’s busiest intersection.

The roundabout will be constructed by the beginning of next season near the Ski Patrol Shack.

Ski resort officials say it will better help guide skiers who are often left confused and darting out of one another’s way in the intersection.

“The roundabout will create a one-way traffic pattern that will send skiers easily to Woozley’s, Guiseppe’s or Lower See Forever,” said Telski’s director of marketing Tommy Wilkerson.

The roundabout was approved after too many skiers, confused about which direction to go, were found standing frozen in the middle of the cat track, blocking traffic.

TELLURIDE

DOG POOP PROLIFERATES AFTER PSA ENDS

Dog poop has proliferated on local trails, streets, and sidewalks in recent months after a public service announcement about picking up poop was discontinued at the Nugget Theatre.

“I guess the ‘pick it up now, pick it up now’ message really got across to the town,” said Telluride Mayor Frazier Stuball.

“It was catchy. I mean I would catch myself humming it all the time — and evidently it worked.”

The dog poop videos ran for several years at the theater before feature presentations. They were replaced this winter with a new PSA about life-saving AEDs. But with dog poop piling up around town, town officials are now reconsidering their decision.

Frazier said that with the puppy sanctuary that’s coming to the Valley Floor, it’s time for a new campaign.

“Maybe Sam Bush will write a song for us,” he said.

BEAR CREEK

TOM CHADMAN DECLARES HIMSELF MAYOR OF UPPER BEAR CREEK

Controversial land developer

Tom Chadman has declared himself the mayor of a new hamlet in Upper Bear Creek he is calling Chadmantown.

The hamlet, population one, will feature Chadman’s “Jeremiah Johnson-style” home, which he is planning to build this summer, as well as a helicopter pad and a headquarters for a new organization he is forming called People for the Safe Treatment of Backcountry Skiers.

Last winter, Chadman said he was planning to build a ski resort in the lofty backcountry basin. In the four years since he purchased mining claims in Bear Creek, he has proposed several other development ideas, such as a theme park, condominium project, chalet, giant water slide and mall.

Chadman is also launching his organization this spring, which he says is in response to the lack of consideration for the safety of the backcountry skiers who trespass over his property.

“I’m clearly the only one who cares about the safety and wellbeing of these young skiers,” he said.

TELLURIDE

MAN GETS RARE CASE OF CARPAL TUNNEL IN HIPS

A Telluride man was taken to the medical center on Saturday and treated for a rare case of carpal tunnel in the hips after repeatedly skiing laps on the Kant Mak-M ski run.

Cooper Johnson was diagnosed with carpal tunnel in his hips for “relentless repetitive motion” and ordered to ski something new.

Johnson has skied Mak-M more than 1,000 times this season, often without a hat and just wearing sunglasses.

“My doctor said I should try Millions or Captain Jack’s to ease the strain,” Johnson said. “I guess I’ll go do a Mammoth.”

He was spotted back on Mak-M later that day, skiing with a limp.

TELLURIDE

ROAD BIKES OUTLAWED FROM BIKE PATH

Due to deep pits, gaps and ruts, road bikes have been outlawed on the paved bike path that heads west out of Telluride toward Society Turn.

The Town of Telluride, which

Allowing the growth and sales of retail marijuana can have some serious implications that I don’t think the community has fully considered.

First off, the United States is in the middle of an obesity epidemic, and marijuana sales will only exacerbate that issue. With munchies-stricken residents reaching for everything from cronuts to ice cream sandwiches, fried pickles and Locos Taco Supremes, we could have a major health crisis on our hands. I’m surprised the sugar tax group has not launched an effort against local dispensaries.

Not to mention, if people are getting high and spending all owns the bike path, has issued a new rule that only full-suspension mountain bikes with at least 5 inches of travel are allowed on the path.

“It really comes down to safety,” said Town Manager Craig Orlean.

“We don’t want to see one of these road bikers crack a frame on the bike path. It’s a liability.”

Instead, the town is considering turning the bike path into a pump track.

TELLURIDE

NEW TREND IN LOCAL BABY NAMES: GUS

Telluride couple Dan and Teri Socklaw gave birth to a baby boy on March 2, and named him Gus Sage San Juan Socklaw.

The Socklaws are exemplars of a new trend in baby names in Telluride — one inspired by the town’s new Olympic hero.

Five out of the last seven babies born to Telluride couples have been named Gus, Augustus or Gussie, after new silver medal winner Gus Kenworthy, who’s popularity exploded following the Sochi Games.

Other recent newborns are Gussie Clementine Cotter, Augustus Sochi Suthers, Gus Augustus Miller and Gus Triple Switch Rodeo 1440 Campbell.

SAN MIGUEL COUNTRY

DRONE DELIVERY SERVICE FROM MONTROSE ON ITS WAY

A new drone service proposes to deliver the comforts of Montrose to Telluriders, saving them the 90-minute drive to the big city.

DroneDelivers would take orders on everything from Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwiches to organic celeriac and bulk oat groats from Natural Grocers, and deliver them to customers in Telluride via the air.

“We know Telluride folks drive to Montrose on a regular basis to stock up on their kefir and their coconut oil and chia seeds and Taco Bell and cheap dog food,” said Max Proffers, who is launching the business. “Now they can place and order and, viola! It will be delivered to their doorstep.”

Residents are calling the service “a dream come true,” but prices have yet to be unveiled.

FREEBOX

LANCE ARMSTRONG BOOK CLOGS

of their money on Cheetos and thick-crust pizzas, they are going to go broke.

And what if it starts growing wild out in our region, and an animal like a deer or elk eats some? Studies have shown that stoned ruminants are more likely to wander out into traffic or raid people’s gardens.

Lastly, people can die from marijuana. What if someone eats a huge handful of pot and chokes to death?

Have we really thought this through? I’m not so sure we have.

KELLY KARDASHIAN TELLURIDE

MISSING ONE FREE BOX

The Telluride Free Box has a new problem item and it’s not broken Christmas ornaments, dirty underwear or old TVs. It’s disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong’s autobiography. Locals have watched copies of “It’s Not about the Bike: My Journey Back to Life” pile up at the Free Box like phonebooks at a recycling bin. Though it’s common to see many books at the Free Box, “It’s Not About the Bike” seems to have a lot of staying power as Free Box patrons have little interest in it. And as more copies of the book show up, limited space means they will likely end up on the sidewalk, a Free Box taboo. Officials are discussing alternatives for the books, such as using them to fill potholes.

SKIING

SKIER STOMPS SICK TRICK

When it comes to going big on skis, Telluride locals have got it covered. But this season something special happened when skier Tom “Bumpy Ruckus” Thompson pulled off a new move never been done before.

Thompson christened his move the “Double sick nitro blast, stop sign McFlurry paper clip twist,” which he stomped on Saturday in Black Iron. Though he admits that that even he thought such a move was only theoretical until now, he says a new era in skiing has begun.

“Yeah bra, that was some sick gnarege up there and one sick shred sesh,” Thompson said.

“360s are kind of my thing, but when you grab that and throw in some toxic safety Japan, stalefishe, everyone knows what that means.”

Thompson wasn’t sure about his next move, but said he has already ordered a book on snow quantum mechanics.

TELLURIDE

TELLURIDE WELCOMES 175TH FESTIVAL The Telluride Town Council gave its approval for street closures this fall for a festival that celebrates festivals. The three-day extravaganza will feature an homage to Bluegrass, Blues & Brews, Film Fest and more. “I can’t think of anything more Telluride than a festival to celebrate our festivals,” said Telluride Mayor Frazier Stuball.

IMPORTANT POINT DEAR EDITOR,

I know people in the community has been fighting over bylaws, elections, employees, finances and transparency at KOTO Radio, but the conversation has failed to touch upon one very important topic: The inordinate amount of Jerry Joseph that gets played on the air.

I can handle New Dimensions and even Putamayo World Music Hour, but if I have to listen to “War at the End of the World,” one more time, I’m going to throw my radio out the window.

Thanks,

WILL MORGAN

“We’re gonna call it the Festival Festival. It’s like, postmodern or something.” It will feature all the typical festival trappings, including the most important: corndogs. Tickets for the Festival Festival go on sale next week.

TELSKI

WOMAN FALLS OFF BALDY WHILE TAKING SELFIE

A woman fell off Bald Mountain this weekend while attempting to take a selfie on the edge of a cliff, leading Telski to ban the practice of taking pictures of yourself on the mountain. San Miguel County Search and Rescue crews responded to the scene. “The edge of cliffs ranks right up there with funerals, while you’re driving and your bathroom on the placesyou-shouldn’t-take-selfies list,” said county sheriff Will Musters.

“Thank God she was able to post the selfie to Instagram before she fell.” The woman was fine, although her smartphone was ruined after it fell in the snow.

HOUSING

HOUSING, from page 28

tion. It’s not just the same shot every day all day. So that doesn’t drive me too crazy.”

When he reaches his goal, he said, he’ll probably just keep on drinking.

“When I finish, nothing special, definitely celebrate,” he said.

“I’ll maybe go to the Sheridan and maybe go over to O’Bannon’s but I’ll probably just end up taking a shot at The Buck. Because I just love it.”

1,000 SHOTS

SHOTS, from page 28

woodsie shacks just outside the town’s boundaries, thought Joey Fuhgeddaboudit. He and some friends ambushed the woodsies that were currently occupying the ramshackle house and after a few roundhouse kicks and blows with nunchucks, the woodsies were banished from their own abodes.

“I mean, the windows are broken and the roof leaks, but it’s free,” Fuhgeddaboudit said.

The newly formed Telluride nonprofit foundation Dollars for Displaced Woodsies is now accepting donations.

TELLURIDE

HOUSING SHORTAGE LEADS RESIDENTS TO GET CREATIVE Residents turning to cars, closets, foyers

Monday Focus: Fluff & Cajolery

ORBIT

1.

Are you prepared for the Dustpocalypse? The Town of Telluride is holding a special meeting on Tuesday at 3 p.m. in Becky Hall to discuss emergency preparedness measures such as protective goggles, ventilators, giant plastic bubbles and underground bunkers for when the big one hits.

2.

The Gus Kentmore fan club meets on Wednesday night at 6 p.m. at the library.

The club will be voting on its favorite Sochi puppy, discussing Kenworthy’s latest Tweets and talking about the formation of its We Love Gus Facebook page.

3.

Arthur Jones from the GreenBud Dispensary is teaching a cooking class Wednesday at the HaHa School. Delectable Edibles — From Gooballs to Brownies, How to Make a Batch that Won’t Make You Lose Your Mind is at 7 p.m. The class is $50 per person and includes samples.

THE SECOND FRONT PAGE APRIL 1, 2014

By PLEATHER HACK-IT

A

Baller, shot caller

severe shortage of affordable housing in Telluride has led people to take up residence anywhere they can: cars, couches, closets, foyers, the library after hours and in some extreme cases even kicking woodsies out of their own cabins.

While spacious Mountain Village mansions stand unoccupied 50 weeks out of the year, some local workers are resorting to cramming nine people into a twobedroom Shandokistan apartment. And some are living in their cars down by the river, resorting to making ramen on a camp stove and bathing in the San Miguel River. The lack of housing goes double for those with pets. “No dogs allowed” is the motto of many a Telluride landlord. So some are getting creative, trying to pass Fido off as a service animal just so they can qualify for affordable housing.

“Do you know how hard it was to convince the town Barkley is my seeing-eye dog?” said Mikey Bagadonuts. “This dog couldn’t see his way out of a paper bag.

All he wants to do is eat garbage and chase squirrels. But I love the little guy. So he had to come with one way or another.”

The Wilkinfun Public Library has also become the scene of a nightly turf war with scores of the homeless hiding out of sight among the bookshelves at closing time then fighting each other for the best armchair to sleep in. Local authorities think the library’s really nice bathrooms are contributing to the uptick in squatters.

Local sustainability group EcoFriends thinks the developments are a good thing. They mimic the “tiny house” trend and are good for the environment, the organization says.

“We think making it completely cost prohibitive to live alone is fantastic,” said EcoFriends spokesperson Suzy Treehugger.

“The more people we can cram into a tiny, underground, studio apartment, the better it is for the environment. Density is a good thing.”

But after months of sharing their tiny living space — sometimes no bigger than a closet and sometimes an actual closet — with people, dogs and piles of perpetually damp ski gear, some eventually snapped. Why live in my friend’s crawl space when there are plenty of perfectly good See HOUSING, Page 27

Birthdays April 1: Theodore Kerabatsos, The Fox, Ted Pantherking, Red Man, Al Dente, Peter J. Glenn, Chris P. Bacon, Michael Bolton, Mokiki Swish, Rebecca Black, Knox Harrington, Arthur Digby Sellers.

TELLURIDE

LOCAL MAN STRIVES FOR 1,000 SHOTS THIS SEASON Duper up to 950 shots so far

By KIKI KLINGSPOON

S This rendering of a Stoneyland ride was provided by Indica Developers. [Courtesy image]

TOURISM

Turning green buds into greenbacks New marijuana theme park to be built in Mountain Village

By CORA LOBERT

M

Contributing satirist

ountain Village will soon join many other towns in Colorado hoping that the green bud will lead to greenbacks. Although the Mountain Village Town Council recently passed an ordinance to formally ban the commercial sales of marijuana in town, Mountain Village Mayor Jan Danson announced Monday that the council has approved a contract with Indica Developers of Kingston, Jamaica to build the nation’s first stoner theme park, Stoneyland.

Danson and other Mountain Village officials say they believe the park will inject much-needed vibrancy into the Mountain Village Core and draw visitors from around the world, even during the slow shoulder seasons.

“We want tourists and locals alike to buy in Telluride and then take the ‘ganjala’ up the hill and continue the magic carpet ride in Stoneyland,” Danson said.

According to Indica Developers spokesperson Mary Jane Green, Stoneyland will feature traditional amusement park rides, with a twist.

“First, none of the rides go fast. In fact, you can pretty much walk and keep up,” said Green. “There will be a slow boat ride into the Bong of Love, a slow spin in the Bowls, and the slow revolution of the Lebowski Wheel.”

Green also offered details about the park’s many attractions, from a family friendly version of Hunter S. Thompson goes to Vegas to a ride on the Magic Bus. A special theater will be continually screening “The Wizard of Oz” synced to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon,” and food vendors will be selling specialties like chicken fried bacon, pizza dogs, cronut sandwiches, Sour Patch Kids and jalapeño cheese corndogs.

“We’ve got so many ideas for food,” Green said. “We’re excited to introduce the cheese blaster.

It’s a fried hotdog wrapped in

pizza — where else are you going to find that?”

Puff the Magic Dragon will be the park’s mascot and Danson says she hopes to get local resident Peter Catmint to perform the song for the trimming ceremony that will be held to open the park late this summer.

After a meal visitors could check out a few of the many side attractions like a black light poster den, video game room or a 10 foot tall, test your lungs, gravity bong.

Green stated that they are also working on the final licensing for its Dead Head World, a ride that features an animatronic Grateful Dead “Shakedown Street” on loop that has a 24hour long Jerry solo.

“The piece-de-resistance,” said Danson, “is the exact replica of Lift 9 that will be the centerpiece of the park. We want to ensure Stoneyland has a local feel. We will build it, and they will blaze. That is our hope.”

Copy nerd

hots of whisky, which can be harsh, strong and sometimes unappealing, are bar orders that many shy away from. But one Telluride local is taking them head on, striving to take 1,000 shots this season.

“Well, I’m always counting stuff,” said local Dan “SuperDupe” Duper. “Like in the summer I drink a lot of beer, and I’m always counting how many Keystone Lights I’ve had in a weekend. This season I got such an early start [on shots] because I started going to The Buck on Nov. 28. So the first night I was there I thought, ‘Oh, I will be able to take 1,000 whisky shots.’ I not-too-seriously posted that on Facebook, and one of my buddies was like, ‘I’ve got $5 that says you can’t.’

That sealed the deal.”

Duper said whisky is his favorite thing to shoot at the Last Dollar Saloon, and every season he takes a lot of them. Last year he said he took just under 500 shots, which has been far surpassed this season. As of Sunday he had 950 in, and on average he said he can do about 10 per day, seven days a week.

If everything goes as planned, it will take Duper another five days to reach his goal, just in time for the end of the season.

It’s not just about the bet, he said; he loves taking whisky shots.

“I love it, it’s a great activity,” he said. “I’m stoked about it.”

When Duper first came to Telluride in 2000, he was a tequila drinker. He switched to whisky in 2009. He said his friends are all whisky drinkers so the switch was an easy one.

Whisky shots are all Duper ever does, but he notes that he does switch it up.

“Sometimes I go straight Jack [Daniels], other times I order Jim Beam or Old Crow, and other times I get Black Velvet,” he said.

“I mix it up so there’s some variaSee SHOTS, Page 27