FIRST PERSO N AB UNDANCE By Jeanne Pepper
I live in an abundant world. It is my belief that — barring extreme hardship — we all do. I see abundance in everything and everyone. This perspective makes living in this world, where my child was murdered, bearable for me. Otherwise, the world would look like an empty place, devoid of the joy that my son Blaze brought to our lives. Gratitude for this abundance is the secret sauce in the morning that grows a smile on my face and excitement for a new day to begin. When people hear me say that, they may think that it comes from a place of privilege. Nope, anyone can feel abundant. Anyone can look at their life as a place of opportunity and joy. Even in my darkest days, after I learned what happened to Blaze, I still had gratitude for our abundance. I saw abundance everywhere, including the generous support of friends, law enforcement that worked tirelessly, and a world that helped us look for him and cried with us when we learned the truth. Now, my happiness stems from gratitude in what I still have. What does this mean? While I grieve, I also choose to see the time I had with Blaze — his 19 years in my life — as a gift to me, my family, and the world. These hard feelings tell me that I loved him and that he loved me. Of course, it makes me sad and I cry sometimes wishing he was still here. This sadness gives me real empathy for those suffering losses. It gives me an understanding of the fragility of life and the preciousness of love that few have. I stopped questioning my faith and accepted that our time is borrowed and every minute a blessing. I cope by finding abundance even in my grief.
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Photos courtesy of BlazeitForward
