Susan Donnelly Ultramarathon Trail Runner. Motivational Speaker. http://www.susanruns100s.com
What The Eye Doctor Said Date : May 29, 2009
There’s nothing quite like having someone look you in the eye and tell you you’re aging. To an athlete, it’s especially stressful. I’m far from needing a walker (well, except after certain 100-milers) but that diagnosis immediately raises all kinds of uncomfortable specters about the future. Thoughts we’d all prefer not to entertain. My relationship with ultrarunning is something like a real relationship. You know, you fall in love and can’t stop thinking about your beloved or find enough ways to express your joy. When the initial bloom fades, many people leave. Those that stick it out and are willing to adjust, grow, and find new joys in the relationship see that it deepends and becomes more rick and rewarding to them than imagined. Growing in relation to the other as circumstances change and years go by is what’s actually fun. I see lots of people who seem to have tied their self-worth to their comparison with other (wins, records, places) and I wonder how they view aging. This type of success is fleeting and it doesn’t take long for someone faster to appear – it’s almost like accelerated aging. Is aging something lost for them or something newly found? Do they enjoy what they’re doing and learning now, or are they more and more often looking back over their shoulders to what was? So many seem to quit. The doctor tells me I’m on the cusp of needing “multifocals” but recommends postponing that move until I really need them. Eyes become accustomed to the visual “walker” and don’t like living without it once it’s there. I laugh and say denial is fine with me and he says it’s simply postponement. Then he stops writing to look up at me once more and says that I’m one of the few patients who has a healthy outlook and isn’t in denial. There doesn’t seem to be much to gain by resisting the inevitable. On the contrary, there’s relief in embracing change and fun in finding a way to make the most out of it. If anything, it simply adds another layer of challenge to something you’ve already mastered. No one says getting older has work in a certain way. You make it what you want it to be. I walk out blinking in the sunshine. My prescription hasn’t changed since last year and I don’t have another appointment until next year. There’s a lot of good trail running to do between now and his next chance to say it’s time for multifocals!
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