St Wilfrid's News - September 2023

Alison’s puppy day

Our Housekeeping heroes

Celebrating our amazing supporters

Dawn Gracie’s piece of fashion history

Autumn 2023

Pass me to a friend!

3 8 10 14 16

HOW TO CONTACT US

Address: St Wilfrid’s Hospice, Walton Lane, Bosham, West Sussex

PO18 8QB

Tel: 01243 775302

Email: general@stwh.co.uk

Website: stwh.co.uk

Registered Charity in England and Wales No: 281963

@stwilfridschichester

@StWilfridsChi

We’d love to hear any feedback you may have about the newsletter, so please get in touch with your comments.

Contact the Newsletter Editor on 01243 755185 or email editor@stwh.co.uk

elcome

I’m very excited to be contributing to my first newsletter as Chief Executive of St Wilfrid’s Hospice.

My first few months at St Wilfrid’s have been an enourmous privilege. I have had the chance to get to know many of the teams and indivudals behind the Hospice’s services, and I have even been lucky enough to shadow our work with most of them.

Since I started in the Spring, I have met many of our wonderful volunteers, and have presented a number of them with long service awards. We had a celebration of our volunteers during National Volunteers’ Week in June, which I hope you will enjoy reading about later on in this newsletter.

I have witnessed the care and compassion of our clinical teams, and their dedication to making a real difference to patients and their loved ones. Our staff truly go above and beyond when it comes to delivering high-end care to those who need it in our local community.

I’m sure you will agree when you read some of the care stories in this edition of St Wilfrid’s News.

Finally, I would just like to say thank you to everyone who has welcomed me so warmly to the Hospice. I look forward to witnessing further the incredible impact our team has in our community.

Lois Howell

We are full of p r i d e !

In 2023 we have been celebrating all things Pride! We had a great day out at Chichester Pride in May talking to local people about the work of St Wilfrid’s, and offering lots of fun activities to all. We even took Wilf, our owl mascot, with us for a few selfies!

Our Chichester East Street store got involved again with a brilliant Pride window installation, which you can read more about on page 14.

Our Education team is also offering a new workshop this Autumn called ‘Understanding the needs of the LGBTQ+ community at end of life’ This new workshop will give a

comprehensive overview of the experiences, needs and researchbased recomendations for caring for LGBTQ+, trans and gender diverse communities. For more information, please visit: stwh.co.uk/education

Our care in action

Housekeeping Heroes!

Our Housekeeping team may be small but they are incredibly important as they do so much to keep everything clean and running smoothly at the Hospice. A lot of their jobs happen behind-the-scenes and we want to shed some light on the amazing role they play at making a difference to local lives.

• Five times a week, they water flush the entire building meaning that every tap, toilet and shower across the building is turned on to protect against germs. They also descale weekly.

• During the Winter, they grit all the paths and walkways to make sure that they aren’t slippery and people can enter the Hospice safely.

• Every curtain in the Hospice is regularly taken down and washed or steamed.

The Housekeeping team also handles the ordering and storing of a lot of Hospice items, including our PPE (personal protective equipment) and RPE (respiratory protective equipment). They order cleaning supplies for our catering teams, as well as filling the coffee shop with food and drink. They also send our retail teams any cleaning chemicals they may need at their shops.

The team also works on the Ward assisting with many things that make our patients more comfortable, such as:

• If a patient is being discharged, the team will make sure that all of their clothes are washed and ironed, ready for them to leave.

• If a button comes off a shirt or minor clothing repairs are needed, they will get out their needles and sew it back together.

• They use silk pillowcases for the patient bedrooms to avoid any problems for those who may have a skin condition.

The Housekeeping team are also always happy to make cups of tea for patients and their loved ones.

Not only does our hero Housekeeping team do all of these amazing things, but also manages all of the waste from the building. Nothing from the Hospice ever ends up in landfill. It is either burnt for heat or power, put through anaerobic digestion, or recycled. This ensures that we remain as environmentally friendly as possible.

Last but certainly not least, the team looks after all of the laundry at the Hospice. This includes: patient laundry, curtains, shower curtains, blankets, heat pad covers, aprons, cloths and mops, bed spreads, soiled uniforms, floor mats and lots, lots more!

Please join us in saying a huge THANK YOU to our wonderful Housekeeping team.

Our care in action

New beginnings in the Safe Haven group

We are honoured to share the story of Peter and Sue, who met by chance in our Safe Haven Bereavement Group in Spring 2022. Peter’s wife, Brenda, sadly died during Covid in 2020, and Sue’s husband, John, died in our old Hospice in Chichester. More recently, Tony, Sue’s partner of five years, died at our Hospice in Bosham. We talk to Peter and Sue about how they met and ask about their experience of Safe Haven, our Hospice Bereavement Group.

Sue: On the day I met Peter I had come to the Hospice to speak to one of the doctors who had cared for Tony whilst he was a patient and I was also due to attend my first Safe Haven group. I was a little early for the group so I went along to the café where I was introduced to Peter. He told me a bit about the group, as he had been attending for a few weeks. We also discovered we had a common interest in Eriba caravans as Peter had previously owned one as did I and my husband.

Unfortunately, after the first session I did not attend for several weeks as I was ill.

Peter: Yes, for a period of about six weeks we were like ships passing in the night. I actually remember sitting on the other side of the café that first day, and when Sue walked in I thought “She seems like a nice lady”.

Sue: To get to the bereavement group from my home in Selsey, volunteer hospice drivers were kindly picking me up and taking me home. Peter had previously offered to give me a lift if there ever was an occasion that the volunteers were not available and had given me his telephone number.

A couple of weeks later, there was a time when the drivers were able to pick me up, but they couldn’t take me home. So I wondered whether or not to ask Peter. I wasn’t sure, but as he had offered and I really wanted to go to the group, I thought that I might as well! So I texted him and asked, and he came back to me straight away saying yes.

Soon after that, Peter offered to collect me and take me home each week and despite my feeling that it would be out of his way, he insisted and our weekly travels to Safe Haven together began.

I think it was the second time he took me home when I invited him in for a cup of tea thinking at the time “was this the right thing to do as he might think I was too forward”. However he accepted, and one cup of tea turned into several and we chatted non-stop until he left at 6pm. The next time Peter dropped me off, I invited him in again for a cup of tea. When it got to about 6pm, Peter was going to leave, but turned around and asked me what I was having for my dinner. I said “oh probably just another microwave meal”, and he then asked if I fancied fish and chips! Anyway, we ended up having a Chinese takeaway and he didn’t leave until around 10pm.

Peter: Soon after that, I was going to the South Coast Music Festival in Bognor at the Alexandra Theatre. Myself and Sue had been texting each other throughout the event, and I asked her if she liked the band Lindisfarne, a band from 1968 who were performing at the festival. I invited Sue to the festival, but unfortunately, she was looking after her grandchildren so I asked her for Sunday lunch instead to which she agreed. Subsequently we booked to see the group at a later date in Somerset.

It was so nice to have this friendship. I was in a vulnerable situation at the time, and I had been in a bad relationship, I think we could both say that we had reached a stage where we would not wish to form another relationship with anyone and that we would now remain single. However, we were very wrong weren’t we?

Sue: It hasn’t been easy, it’s actually been really tough. Guilt has a big part to play. In Safe Haven, you hear people who say “I could never ever go through that again”, and I always said that too. When I met Tony, he had also lost his wife just two weeks after my husband died and we had agreed that if one of us became terminally ill, we would walk away from the relationship. Obviously that did not happen and I remained caring for Tony with the help of the Hospice. It has been lovely that Peter and I have been able to talk to each other quite openly about our past situations and we have been able to support each other through the difficult times when we start to feel a little guilty.

You get to an age where it’s lovely to have that company again. We’ve done quite a lot together now and our families are fine with our relationship, and we have told the Safe Haven group. I was worried about what people would think of me. Tony had been in the Hospice for a month and I was with him every day, so I got to know the staff well and some of them remembered my husband which was nice. A part of me worries about what other people think of me, but we talk about it, and well, does it matter really?

Peter: It doesn’t matter one bit about what other people think. You can’t try to please other people, and why should you? When my wife, Brenda, was diagnosed as terminally ill, she and I discussed it at length and she told me that when she had gone I was to go on and lead my life. Both my daughters support me in this. However, you still have to work through the guilt process.

I have this life motto of “if you don’t, you won’t”. You’ve got to give everything a whirl otherwise you just won’t do it.

I think what some people don’t quite get is that you will never forget your partner of 49 years. Nothing will ever change that. However, life goes on. Everybody needs somebody, for support, for friendship. Never say never.

We did actually leave the Safe Haven group for a period of time. We both felt a little wary of the fact that here we are in a bereavement group, which is a group for bereaved people, and here we are as a couple. We left out of respect for the rest of the group but have actually rejoined as we missed the people and felt that we still needed the support. We are really enjoying being a part of it again and feel that, because of our experiences, we can offer a new perspective to the group.

Safe Haven has been really so good for me, not just because I have met Sue, but it’s been a place to talk, a place for support, and because people know exactly what you are talking about. They know how it really feels to lose a partner to terminal illness. Joe who leads the group is fantastic too!

Sue: Yes, Joe is brilliant. For me it was also good to talk about my daughter, Amanda, who died five years before my husband. Losing her was almost worse than losing my

husband and Tony, and being able to talk about my grief at losing all three of my loved ones has enabled me to clear my head and look to the future with a more positive attitude. I was concerned that the group would be all doom and gloom, but it wasn’t! I was really surprised with how lively and happy it was. I was also surprised at the amount of people as well, there was about 16 or 17 of us. I was also surprised at how many men were in the group, it was really nice to hear them talk about how they were feeling.

Peter: It has given us the opportunity to meet people we would have never met. We’ve made some wonderful friends and the one thing you can be sure of is they know how you are feeling, there’s no stigma and you can talk about anything you like.

Sue: For myself and Peter, it’s lovely that we are able to talk to each other outside of the group. We both talk about our experiences, and there’s no restriction in conversation. Even when we are with our families and children, they will talk about their mum and mine will talk about their dad and Tony.

Peter: Which again really echoes that you don’t forget. You don’t just compartmentalise, put it in a drawer and close it. You can’t possibly do that.

We have both said you never know where life is going to take you, either one of us could die tomorrow. I would say to anyone that two things are guaranteed you are born and you die, under what circumstances nobody knows and if you are in a partnership one of you will be left on your own. Therefore make the most of every day, grab it while you can, and live your life to the full. Remember - if you don’t you won’t.

Our care in action

Alison’s Puppy Day

For most people, March 3rd 2023 was probably a very normal Friday, but for Alison, a patient on the Ward at St Wilfrid’s Hospice, it was a very special day. We are honoured to share Alison’s story.

“How it all happened was me and Sam, who was looking after me, were talking about the snow that was falling in other parts of the country. Sam mentioned that, a while ago, another patient wanted to see snow before they passed away, so they got a snow machine for them. I said to Sam, well when it’s my time just put the sides of my bed up and put lots of puppies in with me! I love dogs and I’ve always had dogs in my life.

Then the next day, the Friday, Sam said to me, “you’ll never guess who we’ve got coming in to see you later – you’ve got a puppy visit!” Of course, my first instinct was that I’m dying now, but Sam swore blind that I wasn’t and I was so delighted that I was going to see puppies!

Of course, it got round the Hospice quickly that I had five puppies coming in to see me and lots of nurses had a cuddle too! The first pup that they put on my lap was so big, like a dump truck, I loved it.

Take a virtual Hospice visit!

We know that visiting a hospice, whether it is to see someone you love, receive care yourself or to attend a group or therapy session, could feel a bit daunting. Sometimes people expect a hospice to be quite a gloomy place. However, here at St Wilfrid’s we often have visitors who say “I didn’t expect it to be so light and bright in a hospice!”.

Take a virtual visit: stwh.co.uk/ virtual-tour or scan the QR code

It was so touching that someone could do that, it makes you emotional that someone can give you hope.

When you’re feeling miserable and out of control and someone has gone out of their way to listen to you, you can’t believe anyone could care enough.

Some people might think “oh she just had five puppies on her lap - So what?” So everything.

They even printed out and laminated the photos for me, and I’m going to give one to my sisters and friends when they visit today. Even though my sister wasn’t here when the puppies visited, it’s a memory for her too.

As soon as they said about coming to a hospice for a stopgap from the hospital, well, everyone knows what a hospice means don’t they! But no, it means so much.

They do fantastic things. They reset your mind. They give you strength.”

I Want

Great Care

We are always making sure that we are constantly improving our services, and feedback is vital in making sure we are listening to our patients and their loved ones about their care.

You can now review St Wilfrid’s Hospice on the independent review site IWantGreatCare which is simple and quick to use. Your review will be anonymous unless you choose to show your details.

Moonlight Walk 2023 raises £138,082!

A huge thank you to our 756 super star walkers!

Thank you to everyone who came and supported our 15th annual Moonlight Walk on Saturday 17th June. It was a fantastic evening of fun and remembrance, and it was an amazing sight to see all of our walkers head off around Chichester in their orange t-shirts. We are thrilled that our walkers raised over an outstanding £88,082, which takes the grand total up to £138,082. A huge thank you once again to our anonymous local sponsor who match-funded the first £50,000 of our walkers’ fundraising.

Don’t miss out on your 2024 early bird tickets

Our discounted super early bird tickets are now available! Adult tickets are £10 (usually £18), and our youth tickets are £5 (usually £12) These amazing prices will be available until 1st November 2023, so make sure you don’t miss out.

Your ticket price includes your Moonlight Walk t-shirt and medal, and we can support you to get sponsorship and fundraise for vital hospice services in our community.

Sign up today: stwh.co.uk/moonlight

Proudly Sponsored By

Community Supporters

Here are some of our wonderful community supporters, who are making a difference to local lives. Thank you!

Our marathonamazing runners!

A huge thank you and congratulations to our team of 12 London Marathon 2023 runners. In total they raised an incredible £33,950, which could help fund our Living Well Centre for over three weeks, helping patients living with life limiting illnesses and their families and carers access activities and therapies.

Melana dance show

On Sunday 26th February 2023, the Melana Dance School in Emsworth raised an amazing £1,084.50 in memory of Jennifer Clark, who founded the dance school in 1975.

They performed two shows at the New Theatre Royal in Portsmouth.

Ruth’s 70 at 70

A HUGE thank you to long-term supporter, Ruth Cleeves, for taking on an immense challenge to celebrate her 70th birthday, while supporting St Wilfrid’s. Throughout 2023, she is taking on a number of challenges to total 70 miles, including the Great South Run and the Saxon’s Challenge.

Gary’s dog walk

On March 26th 2023, Gary organised a lovely charity dog walk around the local village of West Stoke. He provided the walkers with a delicious soup and bread lunch afterwards, and raised a fantastic £691 for St Wilfrid’s. That could help fund the costs of caring for a patient on our Ward for a day.

Josh and Chris

A big thank you to Josh and Chris Freestone, who ran a half marathon and a 10k, and raised an incredible £2,130 in memory of Dad/Grandad Keith Freestone.

If you are a member of a local club and would like to nominate us as your Charity

Patty and Roger

Thank you to Patty and Roger who raised £1,193.71 at their Diamond Wedding Anniversary.

Stevie B Cup

We are incredibly grateful to the Chichester Golf Club, who once again held their ‘Stevie B Cup’ competition in aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice. This year they raised a fantastic £1,562.12, which could help pay for a syringe driver to give continuous, effective pain relief medicine to a patient. This brings their total over the years to an outstanding £26,082!

A huge thank you also to some our our wonderful local corporate supporters

Coalie Fest

Thank you to the wonderful team at the Coal Exchange in Emsworth for once again holding their ‘Coalie Fest’ in aid of St Wilfrid’s Hospice. This year they raised a fantastic £2,218.17 for local hospice care.

Over the past 30 years they have raised an outstanding £18,200 for St Wilfrid’s Hospice.

Maxsie Trust

Thank you to supporters of the Maxsie Trust, who embarked on a five-day walk from 22nd-26th March 2023.

The group raised an incredible £6,500, which could help pay for our Family Services team for almost two weeks, allowing bereaved loved ones to receive the support that they need. Thank you!

Covers walk

Back in May 2023, a team from Covers Chichester completed a 5k charity walk through Itchenor, exploring the beautiful bluebell woodland and coastal paths in support of St Wilfrid’s Hospice.

Woods Travel

The wonderful team at Woods Travel in Bognor Regis took on a very exciting challenge to raise funds for local hospice care in the Spring of 2023. They all climbed the O2 in London, despite many of them having a fear of heights!

In total, they raised a fantastic £2,400, which could help fund two weeks of travel costs for our Hospice at Home team to visit and care for patients in their own homes. Thank you!

Tennyson bake off

A huge thank you to Tennyson Insurance who held a staff bake off in support of St Wilfrid’s Hospice.

They also entered our Moonlight Walk as a team. We are very excited to find out what their fundraising total is at the end of the year.

If you have your own ideas about fundraising, get in touch with our friendly Fundraising team on 01243 755184 or fundraising@ stwh.co.uk for help and support.

The

Crown Inn Eurovision

Party

In May 2023, the brilliant team at the Crown Inn Emsworth held a Eurovision watch party and raised an amazing £278.62. Thank you!

Calling all local workplaces!

Our education team have launched a fantastic new course ‘Introduction to Supporting Bereaved People at Work’. This course is aimed at workplaces to help support their staff at work when they are experiencing a bereavement.

“This was one of the most effective uses of two hours that I can remember – I learnt so many tips and strategies for supporting others, and I have a much better understanding of the process of grief and bereavement.” Find out more: stwh.co.uk/education

A wonderful volunteers’ week in June

From June 1st-7th 2023, we once again joined in with National Volunteers’ Week, and celebrated the amazing work of our team of volunteers at St Wilfrid’s Hospice. Without our volunteers, we simply wouldn’t be able to give the outstanding quality of care that we give to patients and their loved ones. From our gardeners who keep our gardens looking beautiful and tranquil for our patients and visitors, to our drivers who transport patients to and from the Hospice, and our amazing shop volunteers welcoming shoppers to our charity shops, our mighty team of volunteers make a huge difference to local lives.

We have so many volunteers who do so much, and we are grateful every single day for their kindness and generosity.

Follow us on YouTube

Follow us on YouTube to see watch some of our volunteers talk about their experience volunteering for St Wilfrid’s. youtube.com/@StWilfridsHospiceChichester

Please

It’s the camaraderie and it’s a place that’s full of laughter, it’s not all serious.

Some of our volunteers receiving long service awards

Welcome to our shops!

Shop, donate goods, or volunteer to support St Wilfrid’s and make a difference to local lives.

Every purchase, hour volunteered and item donated helps to make a real difference to the life of a patient and their family, so thank you for supporting our shops.

‘tis the season!

We are proud to showcase our beautiful St Wilfrid’s Christmas cards for 2023. All of our cards come in plastic-free packaging and help raise vital funds for local hospice care. Last year, our cards raised an amazing £45,269 Purchase here: stwh.co.uk/shop or in our 12 charity shops

Chichester Pride

Back in May 2023, our East Street shop once again celebrated Chichester Pride with an exciting shop window installation.

The team collaborated with Harry from the University of Chichester, who is part of the LGBTQ+ community and also performed at Chichester Pride. He worked with Leah from our East Street shop to create two amazing window displays to celebrate Pride.

Selsey’s 30th

On Sunday 11th June, our Selsey Shop hosted a party to celebrate the shop’s 30th birthday!

To celebrate this exciting milestone, our Selsey volunteers were invited to enjoy some food, drink and of course some birthday cake. They were also rewarded with a commemorative certificate from our CEO, Lois Howell.

To find your nearest St Wilfrid’s charity shop, whether to find affordable,

A piece of fashion history

“For many years I was a regular singer for the annual St Wilfrid’s Hospice vintage retail events at The Assembly Rooms in Chichester. I would adore having a pre-opening rummage through the rails for treasure to add to my collection of vintage clothing and accessories. In 2013 I arrived to set up my speaker and on the stage to the side was a fully dressed mannequin in a beautiful purple ensemble complete with the most exquisite deep purple feather boa.

I immediately undressed the whole outfit and claimed all items as my own! The feather item became one of my favourite finds and I would wear it for very special performances only. Five years on, and performing at the very same event, I wore this boa and sang my heart out for the shoppers, feeling fabulous. A few days later, I received this email from a lady called Jane ‘’I was delighted to see you wearing the purple feather boa at the Vintage Affair. It belonged to my mother, who was a chorus girl and danced at the Folies Bergere in Paris. She wrote a book about her experiences, ‘Les Girls’, which was made into a film. I’m so pleased it’s gone to a good home. My mother would be thrilled to know it was still on the stage!’’

Volunteering at our eBay shop

“Mid 20th century, shows signs of aging, still in working order...” not a description of the author, but a marvellous record player we have just received. Everyone knows about charity shops, familiar on our streets, but how many know that they are now online? St Wilfrid’s has its own eBay shop which makes a valuable contribution to the charity’s income.

I began volunteering here during the pandemic, so I have nearly three years here, but it does not seem like it since time has just flown by.

There are several roles in St Wilfrid’s eCommerce, such as researching donated items to assess their worth, listing them on eBay, as well as picking, packing and despatch.

The range of goods we receive is amazing, from crockery to clothes, artwork to antique field telephones from 100 years ago.

No two days are the same, and equally no two volunteers’ knowledge and experience are the same.

I was mind-blown and immediately replied asking for a copy of the book, to which she kindly responded and popped one in the post.

Jane also told me in further communications that this feather boa was the only piece of her collection to be donated to St Wilfrid’s. I like to think that somehow fate brought me and Constance Tomkinson (what a wonderful name!) together via this incredible piece of fashion history and that her showgirl legacy could live on through me. Jane also told me how Constance’s handbag has been to Revival many times on the arms of friends which just makes me so happy that these pieces still get to see the light of day, or in my case, under stage lights for all to see.”

Dawn Gracie - dawnsvintagedo.com

Although I like the antique shows on TV, I am no expert and I thought I would have little to offer.

However, it turned out that some bits of my former career were useful here, and if there is a common stream running through the volunteers, it is enthusiasm and a willingness to learn and help.

Learning from my colleagues has now made the antique shows valuations more fun, but volunteering at St Wilfrid’s Terminus Road Donation Centre brings so much more. It is a chance for anyone with enough spare time to be part of a team, and to know that we are helping our local hospice.”

Ian, eBay eCommerce Volunteer

Christmas Tree Recycling Scheme

You donate, we collect, we recycle!

Our Christmas Tree recycling scheme, TreeCycle, is back for another year! In early January 2024, our team of tree-mendous volunteers will come and collect your real Christmas trees from your doorstep, and send them

off to be recycled into mulch and chippings for local farmland, all for a suggested donation of £15 to St Wilfrid’s Hospice so that we can continue to provide vital end of life care to the local community.

Book your collection by January 7th, or sign up to be a volunteer!

What’s your legacy?

As an independent local charity, we receive a small grant from the NHS to pay for some of our care costs, but the majority of the cost of running the Hospice is covered by the generosity of our supporters, shoppers and donors.

Gifts left in Wills pay for 1 in 4 patients’ care. Whether big or small, these vital gifts mean we can provide expert care for people living with life limiting and terminal illnesses, while also offering guidance and support to their loved ones – now, and in the future.

Find out more: stwh.co.uk/gifts-in-wills