to the Summer issue of The Raphaelite, where we share the vital work of St Raphael’s Hospice, on our ward and in the community.
In this issue, you’ll have a sneak peek into a day in the life of two of our nurses, Kevin from our Community Team and Marilou from our Hospice ward. You’ll discover more about our memory work with patients and families, creating special keepsakes that help keep the spirit and stories of loved ones alive for generations to come. Our expert Counselling Team kindly share with us a gentle guide to navigating grief. You’ll also find uplifting stories from our incredible volunteers, whose time and generosity continue to make our work possible.
Thank you for being a part of our community – our services wouldn’t exist without the kindness of people like you.
We hope you enjoy this issue.
Becca Trower
Clinical
Director and Joint CEO, St Raphael’s Hospice
Every Moment Matters: The gift of hospice care
Shorok, a devoted daughter, recently shared her story in our Every Moment Matters appeal, describing the Hospice as a ‘lifeline’ during her father’s final days:
When you hear that the man who raised you – the one who has been by your side your entire life, is dying, your world shatters. You need something to hold on to, something to ground you. For my family, that lifeline was St Raphael’s.
Before you die, you live – and how you live in those final moments depends on the care and support around you. Thankfully, my father, Bashir, had options because of St Raphael’s. Cancer could take his body, but it never broke his spirit, because an army of compassionate nurses, doctors, housekeepers and volunteers stood beside him, ensuring he was never alone.
St Raphael’s managed his pain, gave him freedom, and
supported my mother as she cared for him until the very end.
My father wasn’t afraid of dying, but he feared pain and the thought of being confined to a bed, waiting for his time.
St Raphael’s made sure that didn’t happen.
With tender hands, warm smiles, and endless patience, they eased his pain and brought him comfort. Because of them, in his last week of life, my father wasn’t just existing – he was living. He danced with his granddaughters in the living
room, blew out the candles on his 48th wedding anniversary cake, and made his family one last pot of tea. These moments weren’t spent in a hospital bed. They were spent at home, surrounded by love.
I realise now that this care is only possible because of community support –making sure more families, like mine, don’t have to face the impossible alone.
Our regular donations matter because every moment matters.
Why regular giving matters One gift makes a difference, but regular giving changes lives. Your support with a monthly donation helps the Hospice:
• Plan for the future • Fund our specialist teams • Support more families • Keep our services free To donate, scan the QR code or visit straphaels.org.uk/everymomentmatters
Cherished family moments: Shorok’s daughter with her beloved grandparents
A Day in the Life of our Nurses on the ward and in the community
Kevin has been a Clinical Nurse Specialist in St Raphael’s Community Team for 14 years, visiting patients in their homes and supporting them over the phone. He tells us what his role is like and why no two days are the same:
and the energy we put into it. One of the most important things about hospice palliative care is that we have time to assess and support and our patients really notice the difference.
We are now treating a lot more non-cancerous conditions, like Parkinsons and Motor Neurone Disease. These can be daunting for families as the conditions progress, so we’re there at the end of the phone or face to face to guide them through.
Having a nurse visiting with palliative care expertise gives families reassurance. I can change their medication; explain things they’re worried about or answer questions – and there’s always plenty of laughter along the way too.
Sadly, it’s not rare to find people with no support network.
I work with my colleagues to put more support in place and connect them with other services at the Hospice, like our Wellbeing Centre and Psychosocial Team.
Without our expertise and support, patients and their families would end up not coping or in hospital. We do a lot of preventative work and sometimes that isn’t understood or recognised.
Families are often shocked that St Raphael’s is a charity and not fully NHS funded.
I love my job, but without donations, we simply couldn’t continue our vital work.
It’s a privilege to make a difference to someone at the end of their life. Patients and their families are constantly surprised at the time we spend with them Scan here to Sponsor a Nurse with a monthly gift, or to make a one-off donation to support our nursing care. straphaels.org.uk/sponsoranurse
This year will be Marilou’s 25th year as a Registered Nurse and her second year at St Raphael’s. She shares an evening working on the ward:
8pm Marilou is at handover with the day shift nursing team. She then catches-up with her night staff colleagues; two Registered Nurses and two Healthcare Assistants. They discuss the patients on the ward before beginning their rounds.
“Palliative care nursing at St Raphael’s is incredibly special. We look at patients individually, take time to learn about who they are and their individual needs. We honour the small things. A holding hand, a listening ear. Every moment is important. It’s holistic in terms of the support we provide.”
9pm Marilou visits each patient with a friendly hello to find out how they are feeling. No task is too much trouble, as seen while fluffing a patient’s pillows for added comfort. Their rooms often display keepsakes from home, some may have their beloved dog asleep in the room with them.
9.30pm The nurses prepare for their medication rounds, ensuring everyone’s needs are met. Patients are repositioned regularly to promote comfort and care for their skin.
Despite being busy, there is a sense of calm on the ward as the bustle from the day has eased.
Out of hours calls ring through the night for help and advice, from patients in the community, district nurses and ambulance services.
4am Marilou starts compiling patient notes and any discharge plans, for her colleagues to access at 8am for the day shift
“The evening brings its own set of challenges. Many families have left and patients rely heavily on the nurses through the night. Having a great team to support you makes a world of difference.”
“To be at a patient’s bedside during their last breath and to know their favourite music was played, is a privilege. The night shift allows me to have the best of my own family in the day and be the best for our patients at night.”
Precious Memories
for generations to come
At St Raphael’s, we know that love doesn’t end when a life does. That’s why our memory work is such a vital part of the support our social workers offer to families, helping both adults and children keep the connection alive with someone they’ve loved and lost.
We offer gentle, creative ways to hold on to precious memories that can bring comfort during some of the hardest days. One of the meaningful keepsakes we offer are small wooden hearts imprinted with the fingerprint of a loved one.
It’s a simple but powerful way to keep a tangible part of the person close when they are no longer here.
For children, we use delicate diamante crystals – tiny, sparkling gems they hold while talking about their loved one. The crystals become a symbol of memory and connection to help young minds try to make
sense of grief and hold on to memories in a gentle, safe way.
We also help patients with young children create memory cards at the end of their life. The team help to capture answers to phrases like, “I love you because…” or “You make me laugh when…”. These precious answers allow children to hear their loved one’s voice long into the future, often becoming precious treasures for them to read and re-read over the years.
Through these simple acts, we help ensure that memories live on.
We are proud to walk beside families in their grief, offering ways to keep love present, even when someone is no longer physically with them.
Navigating Grief
Grief is a natural part of who we are as humans, yet many find it difficult to talk about. Feelings of loss can manifest with different symptoms. As we are all unique, our experience of grief will be too.
Below, our Counselling Team share a gentle guide to help cope with bereavement and honour the loss of a loved one, while continuing to live as fully as possible.
Self-care for the mind:
• Allow yourself to grieve
Feelings like sadness, anger, guilt, and loneliness are natural and common. Working through the emotional pain, rather that suppressing it, helps to process the layers of grief.
• Ask for help
Seek support from someone who understands, or identify helpful support groups for positive connections. Adjusting to a world without your loved one can be overwhelming, and external support may help you find new routines and a positive shift in your identity.
• Create a mourning ritual
Journalling, writing a letter to say goodbye or making mementos from meaningful items – all help to express and honour your grief.
Self-care for the body:
Thanks to the support of our community, our Psychosocial Team have provided 1,000+ free counselling sessions to patients and loved ones over the past year.
To help keep these vital services available, please scan to support.
Self-care for the body is important when you’re bereaved because grief doesn’t just affect your emotions, it also takes a toll on your physical health too.
If possible, try to:
• Move gently with exercise like walking, stretching and yoga, drink enough water and eat nourishing foods
• Rest when needed
• Connect – ask for comfort from someone you trust
• Breathe with deep controlled breathing or meditation.
To connect with our Counselling Team for bereavement support or advice, please don’t hesitate to contact AshleyHarper@straphaels.org.uk
Memory Crystals
Thank you
to all our supporters who fundraise for us
A marathon effort
Congratulations to our 13 incredible runners who completed the TCS London Marathon in April, raising more than £38,200 for the Hospice.
Amongst them was Karan, who raised an outstanding £6,319, in honour of his brother who was cared for by the Hospice. Alan also ran for the Hospice, after the care his parents and his wife’s parents received and raised £3,000
Pedal to the medal
This fantastic group of cyclists took on The Hilly 50 – an annual 50km ride around Box Hill, which was started 10 years ago by a dedicated supporter, Mike Morley and the Cyclist Touring Club South West London. It has raised over £8,300 for the Hospice to date. After Mike died, the cycle has continued each year in his memory.
Harry, the son of our beloved Housekeeping Manager, Paula, who died on our ward in April, was the first of our runners to cross the finish line. He finished the race in three hours two minutes, on one of the hottest days ever recorded at the London Marathon. He raised over £4,600 for the Hospice.
“St Raphael’s provided incredible care throughout, both at home and on the ward. My mum died shortly before the London Marathon, and I crossed the finish line in her honour. I hope to have made her as proud of me as I am of her.”
Support from a star
Gladiator’s very own Nitro, Harry Aikines-Aryeetey, took on the Celebrity Bridge of Lies and we were thrilled to have been selected as his charity of choice.
Facing BBC’s infamous Bridge with fellow Gladiators, he helped raise £1,500 for our Hospice!
Local business support
We are so thankful to companies who generously support the Hospice, like DCL Insurance who are supporting our latest Bereavement Pathway initiative – helping us support people through their grief and find joy after the loss of a loved one.
The DCL team have been a great supporter of the Hospice and have also generously provided our pool car since 2019, which is used every day by our Community Team of nurses.
If you are an individual or business who would like to help support our Hospice in any way, please get in touch with SamanthaBourne@straphaels.org.uk
Karan’s medal in honour of his brother
Harry with siblings post-marathon
Life is a Garden
Volunteer Penny recently shared her story as part of our Volunteer Recruitment Campaign, inspiring others to give their time to support the Hospice. A much-loved and ever cheerful presence at St Raphael’s, Penny explains what motivates her to devote so much of her time to a cause close to her heart:
As a volunteer, I take pride in the Hospice gardens, with each plant as well cared for as the people who walk through these doors. The same way my husband, Steve, was when he
was a patient here three years ago.
While Steve was on the ward, I noticed a woman wearing a “Volunteer Gardener” t-shirt and I knew instantly that I wanted to become one too. I applied shortly after Steve’s death and the woman in the t-shirt was soon to become a friend.
I now volunteer for the Hospice in seven different ways – in the garden, on reception, on the ward as both a companion and biographer, in the community as a Compassionate Neighbour, as a member of the Hospice User Group, and in the Retail Team where I run a plant stall at the monthly clearance sales.
It is a privilege to be a part of this Hospice family. We’re a strong team who pull together
and it keeps my cup full. You will typically find me in my sunhat or wellies, enjoying the company of patients and plants.
Patients’ rooms on the ward have a private patio which open onto a lovely garden, where we often chat about the plants in bloom. A patient recently donated thornless Kew Garden Roses, which we planted in her honour, for more patients to enjoy.
Life really is a garden.
For me, it’s not about “giving back”, it’s about doing. I’ve always believed in trying to make a difference to help support others, with a smile or a friendly hello. I am full of empathy and compassion for each person I meet, as the journey through life is unique for all.
Comfort in the garden
“Mum chose to go to St Raphael’s; she was happy knowing that the Hospice is animal friendly – and our beloved dog Reuben could stay with her on the ward.”
The Hospice has been so much more than we ever expected. We admit, we thought it would be a “corridor to death” – it’s anything but that. You can hear laughter in the hallway, young people playing in the garden with Reuben our dog, happy faces despite the challenges.
Mum is a very house-proud person and loved her garden.
After becoming bed-bound, she could no longer see her lovely garden from her bed. Here, she’s loved looking out onto the Hospice gardens and seeing Reuben play outside. The nurses have also joined in with play time and giving the pup his treats.
We all deserve dignity in dying. It’s these special types of places like St Raphael’s that help us receive it.
Mum is a natural fighter and is now well enough to be discharged and return home again. We are so appreciative of the care and support we continue to receive from the Hospice.
Twin sisters, Lorna and Mel
Steve was generous and kind – and I find great joy knowing that his legacy lives on in the time that I share with others at the Hospice.
