the player hater
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IthinkI’dmissyouifwenever met.
Wedding Date
-The
prologue
“I WANT youtogettoknow Thadbetter soyoucanknow andlovehimthesamewayIdo.”
My best friend is watching me earnestly from across the table at our favorite restaurant; we’re here so Mia canbamboozle me into gettingcloser to her new boyfriend, a manshe’s beendatingfor aroundfivemonthsnow whomshewantsmetobond.
Bond withhow, yousay? Aweekend trip with themto some place she saw online and has been begginghimtotakeher.
WhywouldIwanttobethethirdwheel withjustthetwoofthem?
Istir theicearoundmycocktail.
Mia thinks she can woo me with drinks at this posh bar we’re sitting in a bar that serves their concoctionsinfunkyglassesandhasthemostincredibledessert will winmeover.
And under normal circumstances, she’d be right. If she were, say, asking to borrow a favorite dress or a pair of my insanely expensive high heels I would cave at the first sip of this delicious nectar I’mdrinking.
Itake a sipfroma glass shapedbythe Gods it’s shapedlike a canary filledwithpinkalcohol, andwarmsmystomachinthemostscrumptiousway.
Butalas,Miaisnotaskingtoborrow clothesor expensiveshoes.
She’saskingtheimpossible.
“Idon’t want toloveThadthesamewayyouloveThad.”
I’mnever goingtogetgiddyabouthimduringa weekendgetaway,nomatter how hardshe tries to makemeandher boyfriendbuddies I’drather lovehimfromafar.
Firstofall,hisnameisThad.
Secondly, he looks like a douchebag your stereotypical professional athlete who turns into a charmer whenhe’saroundwomen,atleastfromwhatIcansee.
Megawattsmile.
Flexeswhenanyonelooksathisarms.
Long,flowinghair hewearsinamanbun.
Textbook player.
Mia who is still looking hopeful on the other side of the table is blissfully swirling her gold drinkingstraw around a prettyglass containinga shinyliquid withedible gold glitter floatingonthe surface.
Eventuallyshe sighs. “Juliet. Ilove you, youknow Ido. And Ialso love Thad.” Icringe againat the sound ofhis name while she continues. “Youhave got to start trying he’s gettinga complexand beginningtothinkyoudon’tlikehim.”
Idon’tlikehim.
Juliet
At all
And whydo Icare thata grownmanis gettinga complexbecause he and Iare notBFF’s? It’s not myjobtomakehimfeel secure.
Thisisahimproblem,notaJulietproblem.
“Whydoes he care ifIlike himor not?” Does he seriouslyexpectall womentodropathis feetto worshiphimbecause he’s good-looking,successful,andfamous? Well,letme tell yousomething: I’m not signing up to be the Vice-President of his Fan Club anytime soon, even though my best friend is thePresidentandcurrentlyrecruitingnew members.
Nothankyou,sir.
“He cares because you’re my best friend and he wants you to like him.” This time, she delivers her sentence withaneye roll, layingonthe sarcasmlike syrup onwaffles. “That’s whywe’re going onthisquicktrip.It’ll bethebestwaytobondinsteadofstayinginthecitywithall thedistractions.”
I’mbeingdifficultandwebothknow it.
TobehonestIdidn’t actually thinkIwas givingher boyfriendan‘Idon’tcare for you’vibe when Iwas around him IlegitimatelythoughtIwas beingpleasant, fakingthe good times and laughter for thesakeofmybestfriendwhileall alongfindingthedudesuspect.
GuessI’mnotasgoodanactressasIthoughtIwas.
“Mia youknow Idon’twanttothirdwheel itona vacationwiththe twoofyou.” Thatwouldbe torture. “Plus, I don’t have the money to go galivant to some expensive resort for the weekend.” I crossmyarmstopunctuatemysentence,daringher toargueaboutmyfinancial situation.
I will not be peer pressured into a vacation with a man I don’t want to go with, although a piña coladadoessoundrather tasty.
“Youwon’tbethirdwheelingit,anditwouldbehistreat.All expensespaid.” Freetrip?
Myearstwitch.
Dammit.Iwould kill for anall-expensespaidtrip.
MiaknowsI’masucker for abargainandobviouslyplanstoexploitthefact. “Sonow he’stryingto bribe me?”
She laughs. “Iwouldn’t use the word bribe; Iwould use the word coax. You’re like ananimal at the Humane Society that needs to be given treats so when an armreaches into your cage, you don’t gnaw itoff.”
Iturnmynose up at the comparison. “Iobject at beingequated to ananimal ina shelter, but also accurate.” I lean forward. “Tell me more about how I won’t be the third wheel. How is that possible?”
“Thad’sbestfriendHalbrookwill bethere.”
Halbrook?WhyhaveInever heardthatnamebeforeor metthisperson?
“His name is Halbrook?” Ican’tkeep the aversionoutofmyvoice. “Whatkind ofname is that?” Soundsaristocraticandstuffy.
Pompous.
“Halbrookishislastnameandwhateveryonecallshim.IthinkhisfirstnameisDavis?”
Goodgod.Theman’sentirenameistwolastnames.
It’stoomuchfor metohandle.
Ipress mylips together so the laughdoesn’tburstout. “Sorry, butthis is notconvincingme. Why wouldIwanttobethrownatsomedudeIhaven’tmetyet,justsoyour boyfriendcanshow offfor you all weekend?Nothanks.”
“Juliet,I’mnotaskingyoutodoitfor him;I’maskingyoutodoitfor me.” Her handcrosses over tomysideofthetable,reachingfor mine.“Pleasecome.It’simportanttome.”
Miagivesmyhandabeseechingsqueeze,her bigdoeeyesseeminglyhelpless.
Iknow she’snotmeaningto,butsonofabitch she’sgoodattheguilttrip,that’sfor sure. Too good.
“Thisisn’tabigask,Juliet,it’savacation.It’ll befun.”
I hate when she’s right; this isn’t a big ask, plus it’s a free vacation. Granted, it’ll be a work in patiencebutavacationnonetheless.
“JulietandDavis?Onwhatplanetwouldthatcombinationwork?”
“Juliet.” Her tone is so sharp Iglance up frompickingatthe appetizer onthe plate infrontofme, seconds away from dropping the calamari on my tongue. “I’m not asking you to date anyone this isn’t a setup. I’m merely pointing out the fact you will not be a third wheel. Someone else will be thereinthesameboatandI’mnotquitesureDavislikesme,either.Theseguyshavetrustissues.”
I’m not sure she’s being entirely honest surely she would have mentioned these reservations abouther boyfriend’sbestfriendbefore?
Isetthecalamari ontotheplate.
Myshoulders slump indefeat. “Ugh, fine I’ll agree to this weekend getaway. For you not for him because Ilove you.Butyouhave to promise;swear to God, hope to die, sticka needle inyour eyesthatyouwon’tpushmeatthisHalbrookStoneguy.”
“DavisHalbrook.”
“Itsoundslikearockquarry.”
Mialaughsloudly.“Youneedtocutitout.”
I wave my hand in the air flippantly because his name does not matter. “Whatever. You have to promise this isn’ta setup, and you’re also notgoingto throw your boyfriend atme and force us to be bestfriends,andIdon’twanttodatehisfriend,either.”
I hold my hand out so she can commit to me in the only way two people can; with our pinkies wrapped around one another. We hold them a few seconds before nodding our solemn vow, the agreementmoresacredthanasignedcontract.
“Idon’tneedthetwoofyoutobebestfriends Iamalreadyyour bestfriend.”
“Youknow whatImean.”
Mia beams happily, pinkypromise still looped throughmine. “He’s a reallygreatguy, you’ll see! You’ll likehim.It’ll betotallyfun,you’ll see.”
She’ssaid‘you’ll see!’twice,butwho’skeepingtrack?
Iresume calamari consumption, dippinga piece firstinthe marinara thenthe ranch. “Whenis this fantasticextravaganzahappening,anyway?”
“Theweekendafter mybirthday.”
Intwoweeks?
Of course her flashyboyfriend wants to whiskus awayfor her birthday, footingthe entire bill to some Instagram worthy resort where they’ll lie around with their perfect bodies, not gain a single ounce from sipping froofy drinks and eating whatever they want because they both work out like fiends.
I’ll just be along for the ride, gaining ten pounds simply by thinking about island food and fresh waffleseverymorning.
NotthatI’mbitter aboutit;I’mnot,Iswear.
What is wrong with you, Juliet? You should be happy for Mia, not acting like a bitter shrew.
Jealousofall thetimetheyspendtogether?Pfft,me?No!
Okay, maybe I am just a teensy, weensy bit jealous if I’m being honest, but I would never in a million years say those words out loud.
Noway.
Iamhappyfor her;Ijustdon’twanther hearttogetbroken!
A weekend away where you can keep an eye on the guy, around the clock, will be the perfect opportunity to do that.
“Doyouknow wherehewantstotakeyou?”Us.
“Notyet hewants ittobeasurprise.He’s planningtheentiretriphimself.”Shelooks positively tickledpink.
Planningthetriphimself?
Ohboy.
“WhatshouldIpack,anyideas?”
Mia mulls this over as she stirs her drink. “That’s a good question maybe a swimsuit just in case, I can’t imagine we’d go anywhere that didn’t have a pool? I showed himtwo places I thought lookedamazing;onehadalake,theother hasapool.”
Lakeor apool.
Iconcedethatitdoesindeedsoundlovely.
Imuster upsomeenthusiasm.“Soundslikeit’sgonnabegreat!”
“Soyou’ll reallycome?”
“Of course I’ll come.” Ugh, who could sayno to that sweet, happyface? “I love you wouldn’t missitfor theworld.”
Idownwhat’sleftinmycanaryshapedglass,facescrunchinguplikeI’veswallowedalemon.
one
“WHEN YOU SAID all expenses paid getaway, Iwas hopingwe’d end up ata tropical destination. Or Cancun.Or,oh Idon’tknow. Fiji. ”
Mybestfriend laughs atme as Istep downfromthe blackSUVand surveythe same surroundings I’ve beenwatchingthroughthe tinted window onour shuttle ride fromthe airport; acre after acre of woodedtreescoupledwiththeoverwhelmingscentofpine.
Washingtonnatureatitsfinest.
Alakeshimmersinthebackgroundthroughevenmoretrees.
Andmoretrees.
“Are yousure we didn’t take a wrongturnsomewhere? Perhaps while the plane was zippingus pastCalifornia?”
We’dpassedthecutestlittletownonour drivehereabouttwenty-fiveminutes back.Therewasn’t muchto itbuta restaurant, a bank, a bar, and a gas station butquaint, justthe same. Anyway, itwas hardtoseewhereweareinthefadingsunlight.
“Whereoneartharewe?”
Mia glances downat the screenof her phone thenholds it up into the air, squintingat it. “I have horriblereceptionherebuttheguysarealreadyheresomewhere.AtleastThadis.”
“That’swhatI’mtryingtofigureout wherehereis.”
“Did you not see the big wooden sign at the entrance?” She holds her phone into the air as if a better signal weregoingtobeamdowntoher.
Umno unless itwas a signfor Disneyland, Icompletelymissed it. Disney, bythe way, happens to be one of Mia’s favorite escapes we go to at least once a year, spending a day at Disneyland California Adventure and a dayat the hotel pool. Usuallyit’s the last place onearthIwant to be but I’dswapthiswoodsymurder trapfor aparkfull ofpeopleinaheartbeat.
“Iamso glad he decided onthis place. AtfirstIwas thinkinghe’d choose Hawaii, butI’d seena sponsored ad for this place too and fell inlove.” She spins, hikingboots crunchinginto the gravel as sheattemptsapirouette.
Hikingboots?
Noonetoldmetopackhikingboots! Shit.
“Why did I think we were coming to the tropics? Why! I had such high hopes I packed three swimsuits justincase. It’s nottoo late to turnaround and head to the Caribbeanyouknow.” Ihike the laptopbagfurther uponmyshoulder andscowl ather throughthedarklensesofmysunnies.
“You’re so funny.” Mybestfriend giggles. “You’ll still have a chance to putone ofthose suits on ifthelakeisn’tfreezingcold.”
juliet
Great.“I’mnotsurethelakeishappeningfor me.Haven’tyouever heardofshrinkage?”
“Onlyguyshaveshrinkage.”
“Andme Ihavebigdickenergy,remember?”
Behind us, someone clears their throat. “Ladies, there’s a driver onhis wayto come grab youand take you to the cabins. They should be here any second.” Our driver then busies himself by opening thebackoftheshuttleandhaulingour suitcasesouttheback,oneheaveatatime.
Miahasone.
Onesuitcaseandatote.
I have two suitcases and it appears that while I was packing, I was prepping for a month-long excursion,fillingitwithdaydresses,skirtsfor fancydinners,cover-ups,cutematchingpajamas and everylotionandpotionthatgoesintomyrigorousskincareroutine.
Hey. Wrinkles don’tdisappear themselves, theyhave to be babied, and Iwanted to packanything andeverythingImightneedfor afun,adventurefilledweekend.
Thisisanadventurealright.
The engine ofa vehicle echoes inthe still duskair, the sunmakinga slow descentinthe skyas an ATVmaterializesfromatrail inthenear distance.
It’safour-seater,Inoticeasitgetscloser.“It’slikeanUber inthenorthwoods,”Ijoke. Our shuttle driver begins stackingour bags into the backofthe vehicle as the guyclimbs out and comesaroundtointroducehimself.
“MissusWatley?Mia?”Hishandisn’tsurewhichonetoshakeuntil Miagrabsholdandgivesita firm squeeze. “Welcome. I’m Ben Sutter, the innkeeper and well, the concierge as well. Thad is alreadywaitingfor youbackatthe cabins, makingsure everythingis perfect. Ifyoubothwantto hop onintotheGator,we’ll beatthesiteinafew shortminutes.”
“Thesite?”
After thanking our shuttle driver and tipping him, we climb in, waving one last time before my eyesfullydigestour surroundings.
“…obviously I’ll be here to take you into town if you need anything, and of course, I can easily make youreservations for anyof the restaurants intown.” I canbarelymake out Ben’s words as we crunchalongthe trail, motor and gravel and wind drowningout his welcome speech. “…also board gamesandcards.Thenagain,youfolksmightenjoythequiettime.”
Miaisnoddingher headalongenthusiastically.
I’ve always known she has wanted to take a trip and “rough it” for a weekend she has a very stressful advertisingjob;works crazylonghours and manages several high-profile accounts. Mybest friend rarely has time off that when she does, Mia tends to spend it shopping, going to the spa, or gettingher hair andeyelashesdone.
Sothissolitudewe’reabouttoembarkon?I’msureit’sawelcomechange.
It’s wonderful seeingher so happybutatthe same time, Isee nothingbutblue skies and trees;not apiñacoladaor hammockinsight.
I’mnotspoiled, honestly.
Ijustwasn’texpectingthistypeoftripandhavethefancydressestoproveit;Itotallyhaditinmy brainthatweweregoingsomewherehot.
Reframe,Juliet.
Reframe.
This is a good thing Mia needs to relax and unwind. And sure, she could have done that in a pool withaswimupbar,butthat’sneither herenor there.Or aresortwithaspa,perhaps?
Thosecomeandgo;thethreatofpoisonivyyounever forget.
We approach what Ben referred to as “the site,” six shiny and modern airstream campers converted into cabins and arranged in a half circle facing a massive lake. Each one has its own private deck and striped awning, along with a sliding glass door facing the lake and a flickering lanternnexttoitsentrance.
The camper or, let’s be real: glamper inthe center has a beautiful wildflower archaround its small door atthe front, dozens ofcandles glowing. Onthe picnic table, onthe steps, inthe sand going downtothewater.
“Flameless,” Bensays under his breathincase we got anyideas about burningactual candles at thecampsite.
Miagaspsasher boyfriendcomesoutthedoor holdingabouquetinonehand,crowningmybestie withasmall,hand-wovenwreathinher hair,plantingakissonher mouth.
“Happybirthday,baby.”
Shefliesintohisarms.
“Itwas mybirthdaylastweek, yougoof,” myfriend sobs happily, meltinginto his embrace. “You aretoogoodtome.”
So tinycompared to his massive frame, Mia all butvanishes into Thad’s body, his arms like two giantsausages, stuffed into a long-sleeve cottontee, aka: meatcasings. The dude is waytoo bigto be wearingtightclothesbutIsupposeit’snoteasyfindingthingsthatfit.
I’ll givehimapasseventhoughhe’syettoacknowledgemypresence.
I shift onmyheels as theystand there, continuingto hug, Thad cooinginmybest friend’s hair she’d thrown it into a cute ponytail on the shuttle ride to the resort, always looking tidy. Jet-black hair,petite,andsweetasapplepie,Iunderstandhisattractiontoher butcannotseemtotrusttheguy.
Something about him throws me off and I’m glad to have the chance to observe him over the weekend.
Hekissesthetopofher head,thenpracticallypetsit,handrunningthroughher silkenhair.
Break it up you two, some of us are embarrassed to be standing here while you paw at one another, it’s on the tip of my tongue to say. I’m hungry and tired, and would love to climb into a shower andintotheonepair ofwarmpajamasI’mgladIbrought.
Hallelujah!
The whole scene is vomit inducing, heart pounding romance and though I hadn’t wanted to be here,I am gladIgettoseeMiasohappy.
Ijusthopeitendsthewayshewantsitto.
Thadis talkingintoher hair.“I’msogladyoumadeit.I’msosorryIwasn’tattheairporttocome getyoubutIhadsomanythingstogetdonehereandthingstograbintownsoyou’dbecomfortable.”
MoresobbingfromMia.
Morekissing.
Ben waits behind me for the right moment to mutter out an awkward, “Okay, well I’ll just put their bagsinsidetheir cabinsfor youThad.”
Iclear mythroat.
Clear it again to get the lovey-dovey couple’s attention. “Uh, hello? Some of us would like to freshenup?”
“Oh shit, you’re right. Of course you ladies want to freshen up. Sorry, I’m off in my own little world.” He winks at me as if we’re co-conspirators. “Halbrook isn’t here yet so we’ll just do our
Pfft.
thing.”
Irefrainfromgroaningoutloud as he steps forward to hugme, too, thoughmyhugisn’tnearlyas warmastheonehegavehisgirlfriend.Obviously.
Hmm.“Whichcamper isyours?”
“Oh,we’renotstayinginoneofthese.Our placeisover there.”
I follow his extended arm; he’s pointing into the woods, to a tent rising from the earth in a different area completely. But not just any old tent. No, this one is one of those posh setups with a chandelier,anactual bed,andasittingarea.
Thekindyouseeontelevisionononeofthoseswankytravel shows.
Ugh.Jealous!
“You’resleepinginthere?”Iglanceover atthecampers.“WhereamIsleeping?”
“You’re inthe HappyCamper the one withthe flowers around the door.” Thad beams. “Babes and I still need a kitchenette to use and stuff, and we canall use the porchat night for sittingaround and lookingatthe water. It’ll be so peaceful.” He has his hulkyarmaround Mia’s waistand he gives itasqueeze.
All Ihear is‘BabesandI.’
I shake the words out of my skull and smile, hefting the carry-on bag on my shoulder; I feel so ridiculoushavingbroughtall thiscrapnow.
“Oh,sure.TheHappyCamper soundsdelightful.”
I cando this I cantotallydo this. It’s not as if we’re roughingit inanactual tent; I cansurvive living in the cute glamper a few short nights while my friend stays in the canvas tent outfitted for a Kardashian.
I gaze at it longingly, with its own flameless trail of candles flickering in the night, bend vine chairs,steamer trunkcoffeetableandhanginglanterns.
Sigh.
Itiscrazyromantic,theentirethingglowingsoftlyinthedark.
Myownlittle camper is cute, too, and IapproachitwithBenas mybestfriend and her boyfriend headtowardtheir digs.
“Here youare.Cozyas a bedbug,” Benjokes before seeingmyface.“Kidding.Justkidding,there arenobedbugs.Weroutinelycheckbetweeneachandeveryguest.”
Inodwithaheavyswallow andanervouslaugh.“I’mnotworried.”
Bedbugs are probablythe leastofmyproblems;surelythere are creatures and critters larger than that lurking in every crack and crevasse. Besides, I once spent the night in a motel infested with roaches IthinkIcanhandleafew creepycrawlies.
Maybe.
Bencarries mygiantsuitcases alongthe pathto the door ofthe shiny, silver camper, vintage inits aesthetic but modernineveryother way. Runningwater, electricity. Aflat televisionmounted above thecabinetsinthesmall “livingroom”slashkitchen.
Ben doesn’t follow me inside it’s cramped, and he’s a stranger but he does stand at the entrance,waitingtosee ifthere’s anythingadditional Irequire before retracinghis steps andfiringup theoff-roadingvehiclehedroppedusoffwith.
I listenas the engine noise fades into the distance, myeyes catchingglimpses of the glowingtent outthewindow tothebackofmyglamper.
Thenoiseisdeafeninglysilent.
Naryapeep,notevenfromacricket
Never mind,theregoesone.
Heftingone ofmysuitcases atop the small kitchentable, Icarefullyunzip itso itdoesn’timplode, the mess inside making me cringe. Security must have gone through it, for clothes are unfolded and tossed backinside haphazardly notthe wayI’d painstakinglyrolled and packed themthe daybefore sotheywouldfitlikeapuzzle.
Iremove mytoiletries, grateful the baghas a hookperfectfor the backofthe bathroomdoor, with its utter lackof counterspace. Put the travel size bottles of shampoo and conditioner inthe miniscule shower.
Slippersgoonmyfeet.Robegoesinthebedroom.
Silk pillowcase goes on the pillow and I swear I’m not high-maintenance, I just like to be comfortable!IthoughtIwasgoingtoaspaintheCaribbeanfor alongweekend,okay?Sheesh.
Ithoughtperhaps everyone would gather atthe bonfire thatis simmeringonthe sandybeachnear the lake, but when I get a text from Mia saying ‘Get a good night’s rest, we have a busy day tomorrow!’,Iknow wewon’tbeoutsidetonightsingingkumbayaintotheweehoursofthemorning.
The television works, but doesn’t have Netflix. Instead of trying to harness technology while in the middle of the woods, I take out the few magazines and crossword puzzles stored inmycarry-on, andmakemyselfcomfortableonthebed.
“ …IS SHE DEAD?”
“…No way she’s definitely alive. Her chest is moving up and down.”
“…Maybe we should check just to be sure. We can hold a mirror under her nose. If it fogs up, we’ll know.”
“…Mia,Icouldhear her snoringbeforeweevenwalkedinside.” Snoring?
What?Who’ssnoring?
Iwipeatthecorner ofmymouthandfeel moisture.Ew,isthatdrool?
“Ohyeah,she’sdefinitelyalive.”
I feel a finger pokinginto myribcage. “Up and at ’em, SleepingBeauty, your new roommate has arrived!”
Roommate?Whatisthisnonsense?
“Eh?” Startled by the unfamiliar male voice, I blink open my eyes, staring blankly at the unfamiliar ceiling.Wherethehell amI?Whyisitsobrightinhere?
“Juliet,wakeup.You’veslepthalfthedayaway.”
Ohshit,that’s right;I’mcampinginthe middle ofGod’s GreenEarth,withnaughtbuta bagfull of beachcover-upsandflirtyathleisurewear.
I roll to the side, grumping at the sound of my best friend’s voice. “Slept the day away? Ha. I never sleeppastseven.”
EvenhalfpassedoutI’margumentative.
Miahuffsasshejostlesmeagain.“Well it’spastten.We’vealreadyhadbreakfast.”
Alreadyhadbreakfast!
Ifranticallyshootupasifsomeonehastakenafireandlititunder myass.
“Ten? Why didn’t anyone wake me up!” How could she eat without me! She knows I need food
firstthinginthemorning,assoonasIpeel myeyesopen!
She knows this! I’ma complete monster until I’ve had sustenance! I literallyneed a three-course breakfastbeforeIcanstartmyday.
“Itried callingand texting. Iwas actuallystartingto getworried thatyouwere dead.” Mia chews onafingernail behindthemanwho’simpolitelyhoveringover mybedasifI’maspectacle.
Although,tohiscredit,he does lookconcerned.
Bah!Heneedstogoaway!
Pulling the blankets up farther so they’re covering my chest, I narrow my eyes at him. “Stop lookingatme.”
Shit, was that rude? What if he works for the glampground and I just insulted him? I hate having badmannersbutit’snotlike staring ispolite.
Ibackpedal. Sort of. “WhatImeanttosaywas canIhelpyouwithsomething?”Ipause.“Sir.”
Hegrinsatme.
I scowl at his audacity. “I can’t get out of bed with y’all crowding me give a girl some room, wouldyou?”
“Did she justsayy’all? Ithoughtyouwere bothoriginallyfromIllinois,” the behemothinterloper drawls,mostdefinitelyfromthesouthor thereabouts.
It’stooearlyfor metobesleuthinghisorigins.
I close my eyes again as they continue talking about me behind my back. Or, right in front of my closedeyelids.
“SheisfromIllinois Idon’tknow whysheinsistsonsayingy’a ” “Um,hello!” Iputmyarmupandwave a handinthe air.“I’mliterallylyingrighthere.Couldyou all getoutofmyroomsoIcangetdressed?”
Ihear amalevoicechuckling.
Mia gives a small, apologetic gasp. Flutters her hands. “Juliet is right; everyone give her space. Weshouldn’thavecomeinsideanyway.”
“I had to bring in my stuff.” The strange dude turns, presenting me with a view of his ass. “And whosaidshecouldhogtheentirebed?”
Hogtheentirebed?Thereisonlyonebedandit’smine.
Nevertheless, my gaze travels upward, foggy as it may be. Up the tight back end to broad shouldersandathickneck,thetelltalesignofafresh,new,haircutatitsbase.
Heglancesatmeover hisshoulder,eyebrowsraisingwhenhecatchesmestaring.
“Come on, Halbrook I want to runand reserve a boat for later, I hear theystockthis lake with bass.”
Davis.
Boat. Bass.
Ohmygod thatguyisDavisHalbrook?
That…that…lumbersexual withtheplaidshirtandtightassandlingeringstare?
Icrane myneck, waitingto climb outofthe bed until Ihear the screendoor slamfor the lasttime, eyeshominginonthedufflebaginthekitchenette.
Scurrying up, I scramble to close the actual door, locking myself inside so I can rinse off and change,brushmyteethandthewholebit,beforemakingalate-morningappearanceoutside.
Ican’tbelieveIsleptthislate Inever sleepthislate!
Mustbethefreshair.
Andthetravel.Andtheanxiety.
Rooting through my bags, I unearth the only casual things I brought jeans and a lightweight crewnecksweatshirt andthrow thatonwithsneakers.
I wish I’d known we were coming to this place; I would have packed more appropriate attire. These sundresses certainlyaren’tgoingto cutit;I’ll looklike a complete asshole gathered ’round the bonfirewearingpastel pinkflorals.
Ican’tliveinthesesamejeansandsweatshirtfor thenextthreedays,butImayhaveto.
Onenightdown,threetogo…
Hair ina ponytail, I finallyemerge frommyhovel, not the least bit bright eyed and bushytailed, searching for my friend. Raising my nose in the air on my way down the little path to her tent, the lingeringsmell ofbaconhitsmysenses,alongwiththearomaofcoffee.
Mystomachgrumbles.
“Juliet!” Mia spies me before Isee her,appearingfrominside her cute,canvas tent, side-stepping thesteamer trunkcoffeetableonitswoodendecksoshecanenvelopemeinahug.“Thereyouare!” Ikissher cheekwhenIhugher back.
“Didyougetagoodnight’srest?Iwassoworriedwhenyouweren’tupbrightandearly.”
“Yes,IthinkIsleptgood?Imusthavebeenoutlikealight.”
“It’sthefreshair for sure.”
Inod,takingasipfromthecoffeeshehandsme.“Thankyou,ugh,Ineedthis.”
“Don’tthankme,thankBen.Thatmanisanangel.”
Iraiseatiredbrow andcontinuesippingaswewalkintoher tent.
“Maybehe’ssingle?”Miamusesoutloud.
“Please stop trying to set me up with any man that has a pulse. I’m not moving to the wilds of wherever this place is to be some dude’s sidekick in the great outdoors.” More sipping. “I’mwhat youwouldcall indoorsy.”
“Ijustwantyouto know Igotyour back,” she laughs, ploppingdownina chair, gesturingtoward thefoodlaidoutonthecoffeetable.“Here,let’ssitdownandeat.Imadeyouaplatewhenyoudidn’t show upfor breakfast thevultureswerecirclingandIknew therewouldn’tbeanythingleft.”
“Vultures?! What vultures?” My head spins around anxiously, waiting for the predatory birds to comeflockingdownfromthetreesover our heads.
Mia rolls her eyes. “I’mtalking about the other guests. They had a small spread between seven andnine,andeveryoneswoopedin luckyyou,youmissedthemob.”
“Other guests?”
“Yes.Youmissedthatrushtoo,asmall caravanarrivedearlythismorning.Everythingwassetout as a warm welcome it was really nice, but would be great if we were the only ones here, you know?Quietandprivate.”Shestealsapieceofbaconandchompsonit.“That’swhyThadandDavis rantosignusupfor twoboats thereisn’tgoingtobeanythingleft.”
Twoboats?Um. What’s that supposed to mean?
I assume Thad is renting some boat so we can do a sunset win cruise, or sunbathe tomorrow onlyoneofwhichI’mwell preparedfor consideringtheswimsuitsIhavejammedintomysuitcases.
Ieatmybaconandlistentoher chatter.
“…Andyou’vealreadymetHalbrook,sothat’soutoftheway.”
Irefusetocall himbyhislastname.“MetDavis?When?”
“Thismorningwhenwecameandwokeyouup?”
“That was Davis?” OhJesus. “I wasn’t still asleep and dreamingthat all happened? Youknow I
can’tfullyfocusuntil I’vehadmycoffee.I’mliketheCryptKeeper inthemorning,Mia!”
“Youweren’tthatoutofit,stopbeingsodramatic.Whodidyouthinkthatwas hoveringover you, another groundskeeper?”
I look like total shit, and I only know this because I just caught a glance of myself in the mirror theyhave above thatcute little bureauinMia and Thad’s glampingtent. Below itis one ofthose oldfashionedwashbasins.
“Ew,Ilookhideous.Icannotbelievehesaw melikethis.”
NotthatIcare.Idon’tknow him.
“Youdon’tlookhideous,stopbeingdramatic.”
This fromthe womanwho was probablyup before dawnto washand air dryher hair, and apply makeupsoskillfullyitdoesn’tlooklikeshe’swearinganyatall.
“Youclearlydon’tlovemeatall,”Isniffle.
“Hedoesn’tcarewhatyoulooklike.”
“Gee,thanks.”
She laughs. “WhatImeantwas, the two ofyouaren’there to be setup. You’re here because Thad wantsthetwoofyoutobefriendssowecanall domorethingstogether likeonebighappyfamily.”
“Okayfine but couldn’t we have just like, gone to dinner or something? Was it necessaryto be thisextreme?”
Mybestfriendshrugs.“Ican’tpretendtoknow whatgoes oninhis prettylittle headhalfthe time, but this is what he planned. I wouldn’t have chosen this location for a first meet up knowing how you are but now we have to make the best of it.” She glances behind her into the cute tent and gestures.“Imean,how adorable is this? Andit’s onlyfor a few more nights andthenwe cangotothe spa and get facials and massages and everything will be right with the world again.” She nabs the coffee I just sat down and steals a drink. “Do you think I love the idea of being stuck in a cabin withouttheuseofmyflatiron?No.”
“Butyou’retheonewhowantedtocomehere!”
“Right, but I wasn’t at all prepared! You can’t just spring this on someone.” She leans forward andtouchesmyleg.“Don’ttell himIsaidthat,hisfeelingswouldbesohurt.” Inod.
Her secretissafewithme.
“I’mgoingto be re-wearingthis same pair of leggings and tee shirt this entire weekend, most of whatIbroughtwasfor aromanticweekendsomewherewarm.Notthatit’scoldhere,butyouknow there’slesssandthanIwasanticipating.”
“Ohmygod same.”
“Whatonearthmademethinkwewerecomingsomewherewarm?Seriously,Igotsocaughtupin theideathatIlostmycommonsense.”
“Ofthetwoofus,you’redefinitelytheonewho’smoreoverzealous.”Miagigglessoftly.
“Whenyoudidn’tsayexactlywhere we were comingandonlygave me tinyhints aboutit,Ifilled in the gaps myself.” I pause, remembering our previous conversations. “When you said there were twinkling lights in the trees I assumed you meant palmtrees. When you said we were going to sit under thestarsandgaze Iassumedyoumeantstarsover theocean.”
“That sounds like you, always letting that imagination run away with you.” Mia pauses and glances over. “Um. Didn’t yourealize youweren’t headed southwhenyouarrived at the airport and boardedaplaneheadedwest?”
Ithoughtthatwasweird?
“I’manEnglishteacher,notaGeographyteacher.”
I’malsohorribleatmath,science,andastronomy.
Wesharealaugh.“Sonow what?”
Mia sits back and crosses her legs. “Now we wait for the guys to get back from their errands; hopefullywe’reabletoscoreaboat.Ithinkthereisabonfiretonightwiththeother campers.”
I glance over to my silver airstream and notice people milling about now that it’s later in the morning peoplethatwerenottherelastnightwhenwearrived.
Awesome morepeople!Other signsoflifemeanwe’renotstuckherealone,justthefour ofus.
IfDavisisanythinglikehisbuddyThad apamperedformer playboywholovesattentionandthe spotlight it’sgoingtobeapracticeinpatience.
ThankgodIonlyhavetoseehimwhenwe’redoingactivities…
two
“UH WHAT areyoudoinginhere?Youcan’tjustbargein.”
Juliet is back in her camper correction: our camper hands on her hips, standing in the doorwayglaringdaggersinmydirection.For adaintylittlething,Mia’sbestfriendsureseemsangry.
Maybeshedoesn’tlikebeingwokenfromadeadsleepwhileshe’sdroolingandsnoring?
Inanycase,itappearsshehasachiponher shoulder,or maybeshehatesmen?
Whoknows.
I was inthe process of unpackingmythings fromthe duffle bagI brought whenshe burst through the door, back fromreserving the boat and a few other things for the four of us to do over the long weekend.
“Ididn’tjustbarge in. Iwas invited.” Ipause, foldinga hoodie before tuckingitinside a drawer. “Andhellotoyou,too nicetomeetyou,I’mDavis.”
Iwalkover andholdmyhandoutbutthestubbornwomanjuststaresdownatitrudely.
“Invitedbywho?Andhow didyougetin,Ilockedthedoor whenIleft.”
I reachinto the pocket of myjeans and dangle the keyinfront of myface. “Ohlook, I have one, too.”
“Why?”
She hasn’t left the doorway, her entire frame taking up the entire minute area with a defensive stance.
“BecausethisiswhereI’mlivingfor thenextcoupledays?”
“Livinghere?” Her mouthparts and I cansee the shockonher expression. “Like here here? In here.Thiscamper?”
Ichuckle.“Iwouldn’tbeputtingmyunderwear inthedrawersifIwasn’tstayinginhere.”
Her eyes flicker to the kitchen drawer I just recently closed, it’s still open an inch or two, revealingmyredboxer briefs.
Julietshakes her head, ponytail swinging. “No one told me Iwould be sharinga roomwithsome randomguy.”
“Goodnews,I’madecenthumansoyoucanresteasy.”
Shelaughs.“You’renotsleepinginhere.”
She’ssobossy.Sodirect.
“Whynot?”
“’Cause thisis my place.” Her place?
Icluckmytongue and grinather. “Now yousound spoiled and I’msure that’s notthe case,” Ilie, deciding she’s most certainly acting like a spoiled brat. What’s the big deal if we sleep in the same
davis
camper,it’snotasifwe’regoingtofool aroundandgetromantic?
If Juliet is always this high-strung, then she’s definitely not my type. I like good-natured, easygoing,andfun-lovingwomen notuptighthall monitors.
“I’msorrybutthat’snotfor youtodecide.”
“Uh yeahitis. I’ma female, you’re a male, Idon’tknow you you’re notsleepinghere. End of story.”
“Not to be a dick, but that’s not reallyfor youto decide. If youdon’t want to share a roomwith someone,perhapsyoushouldgoseeifyoucanfindanother placetostay.”
Her jaw literallydropsopenandasqueakofair puffsout.
“Besides, why should I be the one to leave? This is a two-person camper and I was under the impression, and fine withit, I would be sharing youdidn’t actuallyexpect Thad was goingto fork over afew thousanddollarssoyoucouldbeinyour ownroom,didyou?”
Icansee fromher expressionthe answer is yes yes, she did thinkshe’d be inher owncamping space.
“Youshould chat withMia I guess and figure it out.” I go about ignoringher but it’s hard she’s kindofadorablewhenshe’sprissyandpretty,andI’mguessingunder thatpricklyexterior lies aheart ofgold.
ButmaybeI’mjustnaïve.Itendtothinkthebestofeveryoneandwheredoesitgetme?
Nowhere.
I’mstill single,withzerokidsandnodog.
Iknow whatyou’rethinking: poor guydoesn’tevenhaveadog?!How canthatbe?
Alas, it’s true I’d love one, obviously, but would love a partner to shoulder the responsibility withandalsotakeittothedogparkwithme,becausedogsneedfriends,too.
“Youlookawfullymiffed. Are yousure we can’tbe interimbestfriends because our bestfriends aredating?”
“Idon’tknow whatyou’retalkingabout.Interimbestfriends?”
“Sure,” Isay. “Friends for the weekend. We’ll pretend for the sake ofMia and Thad thatwe like eachother andnoonewill bethewiser.”
“I’mnotgoodatpretending,”shedeadpans,lookinghellatireddespitethecoffeemuginher hand. Shetapsontheceramicwithwell-manicured,lightpinknails.
“Notgoodatpretending?”Ibetyouamilliondollarsshe’spretendedtohaveplentyoforgasms.
I bite my tongue, folding a pair of joggers I’ve decided to leave in my duffle, kicking the entire bag beneath the rickety kitchen table if I sat on it, the entire thing would collapse beneath my weight,notthatI’vethoughtaboutsittingonittoseeifIactuallyweightoomuchtocollapseit.
I’ddoneabitofsnoopingaroundwhileJulietwas havingbreakfastwithMia,checkingoutall the cubbies and nooks and crannies and concluding that this place is cute as a button; I’mdefinitely not movingoutofthislittlesliceofheavenintheboonies.
Besides, ina few hours after spendinga bitoftime withme, she’ll be singinga differenttune, not spearingmewithher murder face.
She’ll behalfinlovewithmeliketheyall are.
If only they loved me for me.
Ha!
“No. I’mnot good at pretending and I’mnot going to fake liking you for the sake of some guy I hardlyknow.”
The socks inmyhand are wadded up as Ihold themabove myduffle, suspended inmid-air. “Are
youtalkingaboutme,or Thad?”
“Thad.”Juliethesitates.“Andyou,ofcourse.I’mnotheretobeanyone’s bestfriendexceptMia’s shedeservesadecent,honestguyandI’mheretomakesurethat’swhatThadis.”
“You don’t think Thad actually cares for Mia?” This is news to me. “Why would you think otherwise?Hashegivenyouareasonnottotrusthim?”
I’ve never knownmyfriend to be a cheater or a player Thaddeus Dumont is a one-womanguy as far as I’mconcerned. I’ve never seenhimsleep around or step out behind anyone’s back; not that he’s had many relationships. For the longest time, his career was number one only recently has he beengivingactual thoughttohisfutureandlifeafter football.
Thadwantsafamily,kids,apicketfenceandtwoandahalfdogs. Wait.
Twoandahalfkids?
Whatever,hewantsbothinhowever manyquantities.
Julietisshakingher head.“No,hehasn’t.Buthaveyouseenhim?”
Er. Yes? “Ihave to stare athis uglymugmore oftenthanI’d like. Whatdoes thathave to do with anything?”
“The manis a god womenmust chase himand throw themselves at his feet. Do youknow how muchwillpower thattakes?”Shesnorts.“Whatmancanresistagroupie.”
Now I’mthe one snorting. “Um, plentyofthem. Fuc er, bangingyour wayaround towngets old after a while. He’s not a rookie anymore; he’s been playing ball for years and that’s his job. He doesn’t play the sport for the women.” I toss the socks back into my bag and rest my hands on my hips, facingher. “Isn’tita little too earlyinthe dayto be so cynical, whatis the actual problem? Are youpissedwe’renotatthespa?”
She kind of has “spa” written all over her, not ‘I’ma roughing it in the woods’kind of gal. Her non-responseisall theanswer Ineed.
“Let me get this straight you’re here to basically spy on Mia and Thad and try to trap himinto cheatingonher?”
“No!I’mnot tryingto trap himinto cheatingwithme are youimplyingthat Iwould hit onhim? Ew,gross.”
Soissheimplyingthatshewantshimtohitonher?
“Weird, because that’s exactly how it sounds. Am I gonna have to keep an eye on you while you’rekeepinganeyeonhim?”
I try to laugh the idea off, but there’s an element of truth to it and we both know it. Juliet didn’t lookshadywhenIwas standingover her this morning,butnow thatI’mlookingather inthe doorway ofthecamper,shelooksangrier.Frustratedfor noreason.Sulky.
Shehasamugfull ofcoffeeinher belly isn’tcaffeinesupposedtomakepeoplehappier?
Or atleastmorealertandwideawake?
“Youdon’thavetokeepaneyeonme.All Isaidwasheistoogood-lookingandhandsome…”
“Too good-looking and handsome for what? Fidelity? Loyalty? Do you look at me and think the same thing?” I shoot her a megawatt grinaimed to charmand resume unpackingmythings. Her eyes trail tothedufflebagrestingonthekitchentableandshescowlsagain.
“Hey,easyontheunpacking.Wehaven’tresolvedthelivingsituationyet.”
Ilaugh. “Letme make one thingclear;I’ma super chill dude. Easygoing. Calmand collected. I’m thinkin’ maybe you should try acting the same way you know like an adult and not an immature highschool studentwho gets squeamishatthe idea ofbeinginthe same roomwitha guy.” Irefuse to
lookat her. “I’mnot goingto tryanything, I’mgoingto keep myhands to myself. Are youthe type of girl who giggles when a guy says something flirtatious? Because if that’s the case you really should grow up.”
Her mouthfallsopenwider thanitwasbefore. Ismirk.“Yeah,that’swhatIthought.”
“AreyouimplyingthereasonIdon’twanttoshareacamper withyouisbecauseIamimmature?” I nod. “That’s exactlywhat I’mimplying. You’re a biggirl, put onyour biggirl panties and deal withthe situation. If yougo out there and complainto your best friend that youhave to share a room with me, you’re gonna come off as being really ungrateful. More ungrateful than you actually sound, andIhaveafeelingyouwouldn’twantMiatothinkthat,wouldyou?”
Juliet narrows her eyes in my direction, steampractically rising out of her nose. “They told me over andover whataniceguyyouare.”
“Sonow I’mnota nice guybecause Irefuse tokowtow toyou? Thatbecause you’re telling me to leave,Ishouldleave?Now youonehundredpercentsoundspoiled.”Ipause.“Wheredoyousuppose Ishouldsleep?Onthegroundoutside,infrontofthedoor?Or maybeahammockinatree?Or wait how aboutIgo ondownto CabinFour and see ifthey’ll harbor me? Newsflash: the place is booked solid.”
Juliet’s nostrils flare. “You’ve called me spoiled twice and I’moffended by that. You shouldn’t makemefeel likeshitbecauseI’mhesitanttosharearoomwithacompletestranger.”
“Out of everything I just said, that’s your takeaway?” I have no intention of standing here bickering. It’s a gorgeous day and the sun is out. Plus, Thad and I managed to score a boat for tomorrow andwehavethattolookforwardto.
I click my tongue. “Sounds to me like you don’t trust your friend’s judgment. She has met me dozensoftimesandtrustsmewithyou.”
For the briefest of seconds Juliet hangs her head and shoulders inshame and I cansee the regret washingover her.Themomentlasts intheblinkofaneye,over anddonewith,inaflash,andbeforeI know it,she’shuffingoutloud.
Squaringher shoulders,shelooksmedeadintheeye.
“Fine.We’ll sharethiscamper butkeepyour mittsoffofme.Don’tgetanyideas.”
I’d love to throw a barb back at her in the formof chuckling but fight the power the truth is, I think Juliet is pretty darn adorable. I happen to love the fact that she’s outspoken and telling me what’sonher mindandisfar fromshy.
It’sanattractivequalitythatIrespectandwishmorewomenwerelikethis.
“We haven’t even started the day; let’s not get off on the wrong foot. Want to start over?” I hold myhandoutasanoffering,expectingher totakeitandshakeit.
Shestaresdown.“What’sthat?”
“It’smyhand?”Shehasmedoubtingmyself.
“What’sitdoing?”
“Waitingfor you.”
Julietslapsit,inapancakelow five,scootingaroundme.“Happynow?”
“Notreally Iwaslookingfor ahandshakesowecanseal thedeal.”
“Whatdeal?”
“Freshstart.”
She hums,settingher coffee mugonthe counter inthe kitchenette,lettingherselfintothe bathroom andclosingthedoor behindher.Twosecondslater shesticksher headbackout.
“There’snofaninhere.”It’sanannouncementfilledwithdismay. “So?”
Julietwatchesmepointedly sopointedly,Igetuncomfortable.“Sooo….”
“Sooo…
”Irepeatintheexactsametoneandinflection.
Thisisafungame.
Julietblinks;clearsher throat.
“AmIsupposed to know what’s goingonrightnow?” Because Idon’t. I’ma guyand she’s giving mewaytoomuchcredit.ThelasttimeIreadmindswasnever.
“Ineedtousethebathroom.”
“So?”
“Ifyousay so onemoretime,Iswear toGod…”
“So what if you have to go to the bathroom? Go.” Pause. “Wait are you worried I’mgoing to bustinonyou? Thatbathroomis dinky, Iknow two ofus are never goingto fit. Youare totallysafe, I will notbebustingin.”Iglanceupfrommytaskandlookather face.“Areyoublushing?”
Sheblushesharder.
What’sher deal?Whyisshebeingweir
Ohhh.
Igetitnow,shehastotakeashitanddoesn’twantmetohear or smell it.Ha!
The good news is, those toilets aren’tfilled withwater, and they’re notporcelain. The chances of mehearingher dothedeedareslim,butthatdoesn’tseemtomatter.
Take a hint, Davis.
Shewantsmegone outofthecabin,outofhearingdistance. “Okay. Right. Ineed to take a piss so maybe I’ll go…find, a…um, tree or somethingsomewhere. Plentyofthem,eh?”
Stoptalking,Davis.
I make a show of closing the drawer I’m digging in and zipping up my duffle, tossing it to the kitchenbenchanddustingoffmypalmsonthelegofmyjeans.
Makefor thetrail outsideandmeander downit,greetingthefew peopleImeetalongtheway.
“Hey there, good morning,” I tell a good-looking older couple as I get closer to the shoreline where the piers are. ThinkingImightparkmyass inone ofthe Adirondackchairs arranged atthe end ofone ofthe piers to kill time while Iwaitfor Thad, Mia, and Julietto finishwhatever they’re doing so we canhangout as a group. Well, I know what Juliet is doing, but don’t want to thinkabout what ThadandMiaareupto.
“Hi!” The womansizes me up and down. “Headed to the water? We were just downthere it’s breathtaking.”
“Yes,ma’am,”Inod,eyesalreadytakinginthesceneryandlovingit.
The womanhas her partner husband, boyfriend? bythe armand squeezes his bicep. “Did you hear thatErik,hecalledmema’am.”
I was raised inthe south; I like to thinkI have passable manners and great etiquette. I sayplease and thank you, and hold doors when people are entering a building at the same time I am. I carry groceriesandsay‘blessyou’ifsomeonesneezes.Soyeah I’mgoingtocall thiswomanma’am.
It’srespectful.
Her eyesarelituplikeChristmastrees.“WeheardThadDumontwasherebuttheydidn’tmention thattwofootball playerswereherethisweekend.Doyouplayfootball too?You’re so big!”
She drags her gaze up and down my torso again, eyes pausing in the center of my legs. Brazen,
consideringher partner isstandingbesideher,probablywonderingwhatelseonmeisbig,too.
“I’mretired.”Ireachforwardandextendmyhandtotheguy.“DavisHalbrook.”
“Retired!”sheexclaims.“Youcan’tbeinyour thirties!”
“Thirty-three,” I amend. And yeah, that sounds youngto retire but not whenit comes to football. MybodyisalreadybeattoshitandIpayfor iteveryday.
“I’veheardofyou,”themansays,his legs baredespitethechill intheair.“How areyouenjoying retirement?”
“I’min finance now so there’s still no sitting around.” Finance sounds boring to most people compared to playing professional football but I have a Business Degree after playing college ball thatcomes inhandynow thatI’moffthe playingfield. Never thoughtIwould need PlanB (anactual degree), but here we are, the ripe old age of thirty-three, with a bad knee, bad back, and more concussionsthanIcankeeptrackof.
Many of my clients I manage retirement accounts and investments are athletes and retired athletes.
“You’reherewithDumontandhisgirlfriend?”thecoupleasks.
“Yup, she’s always wanted to come to a place like this and found this campground on social media.”
The woman who still hasn’t introduced herself titters. “This isn’t my idea of a romantic weekend but we had to compromise. Erikwanted to spend the weekend at a dude ranchinWyoming but had to settle for a campground withWi-Fi and electricity. He canride horses tomorrow. Best of bothworlds.”
“Roughingitinstyle.”Inodwithagrin.“I’msorry,Ididn’tcatchyour name,”Isaytothewoman. “You’reErikandyouare…?”
“Celeste.ButeveryonecallsmeCookie.”
Cookie.
I refuse to ask the origin for the nickname and how it came about. Definitely sounds snooty, though,shedoesn’tlookit?
“Areyouherewithanyonespecial?”Cookiecoos.
“No therearefour ofusinour partybutJulietandIjustmet.”
Cookie’s eyes light up. “Oh Juliet. What a romantic name! We can’t wait to meet her, can we Erik?”Another squeezetoher partner’sarm,thepair ofthempositivelyradiatingsex.
I know swingers whenI see themand make a mental note to be less friendlynext time we bump intooneanother.
“I’mnotsure Julietis goingtolive uptoher name,” Iblurtout,still butthurtthatshe triedkicking meoutofthecamper beforeevenmeetingme.
I’magreatdude!
Wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone some woman I’ve only just met. She’s the girlfriend of my best friend’s girlfriend;itwas myintentiontotake greatcare ofher andbe her friendwhen her friend was busygettingromanticwithmine.
Ohwell.Somefriendshipsaren’tmeanttobe.
They’recalledfriendshits,andIhaveafeelingtheonewithJulietandIisgoingtostink.
Juliet’sloss,notmine.
I plan to make the most of this glorious weekend the great outdoors, surrounded by friendly facesandmybestbuddy.That’swinningatliferightthere.
Icontinue mywaydownto the lakefront, a little bitbummed thatthere are no other people down
here despite the swinger-vibe Igot,Cookie andErikseemedreallynice andI’mlookingforwardto meeting the other folks staying with us in the other cabins. On the water, a few ducks call, their squawksechoing.Inthedistance,Ispyseveral homessprinkledinthewoods.
I’ve always wanted to have a lake house butnever saw the pointinhavingone as a single man. I getenoughalone time, whywould Isubjectmyselfto complete silence inthe middle ofthe woods? I much prefer the sound of a slamming screen door and the laughter of kids. Maybe a dog barking. Splashing.
Yeah, I totally want a wife and kids. I’ve been looking for love, just haven’t found anyone at least, not the right one. Lots of gold diggers, cleat chasers, and fame whores but not one woman withaheartofgoldIcouldbringhometomymomor theplacesIvolunteer.
Bending, I pick a pebble off the shore and lob it sideways onto the water, watching it skip the surfacetwicebeforesinking.
Twoskips?Pfft,Icandobetter thanthat!
Irootaround for another pebble flatter the better while hummingthe melodyfor “Lookingfor love inall the wrongplaces,” thumbingthe stone inmyhand before releasingitto the water. Itskids beautifully,skipsfour times,thensinks.
Niceone,Halbrook!
Iskip rocks for atleasttwentyminutes, huntingonthe ground for the perfectstones thenwatching astheyhop,jump,andsink,tryingtobeatmybestscore.
Notthatit’sacompetition.
Can’tbeifI’mtheonlyoneplaying.
Icheckthetime,confidentThadandMiawill bedonedoingwhatever itis they’vebeendoingthe pasthalfhour *cough, banging*and make mywaybackup the trail so we cangetthis daystarted and kickitintherear.
Plus, we have reservations in a few for a tour of the lake on a pontoon boat, and I’d hate to be late.
I find everyone on the small porch of the camper I’m sharing with Juliet, the three of them laughingwhenIwalkup.
“Youdonegoingtothebathroom?”Iaskmyroommate,givingher acommiseratingnudgewithmy elbow.“Everythingcomeoutokay?”
She blanches but manages to roll her pretty blue eyes, nudging me back. “Everything is fine, thanks.”
“Cool.” I focus my attention on Thad. “Boat should be here to grab us any minute we should headbackdownthere.”
Thad cocks his head thoughtfully. “Ithoughtwe were goingfishingtodayinstead pontooncruise tomorrow atsunset.”
Shit, Ithinkhe mightbe right. “Come to thinkofit, Idid see a guydownthere loadingup a boat. Musthavebeenours.”
Mia’slong,blacklashesflutter.“Ilovefishing.”
Juliet looks at her. “Youdo?” The ‘since when’remains unspoken but lingers in the air, the only obliviousoneisThad.
“Obviously,”Mialaughs.“MydadalwaysusedtotakemewhenIwasakid.It’sbeenawhilebut Iloveitsomuch.”
Thadtakesher handandkissesit.“Beautiful and outdoorsy.”
Holdinghands,theyheaddownthepathtowardthewater.
“Outdoorsy?”Julietmutters.“Ishehigh?”
“Highonlove,”Igrin,draggingher along.“How aboutyou?Doyoufish?”
Sheconsidersthisquestionandasshedoes,Isteal furtiveglancesather.
Baseball cap with her ponytail pulled through the back. Glossy lips but otherwise, no other makeup.Frecklesacrossher perkynose.Hoopearrings.
Jeansandsweatshirt.
Dang she’s cute for someone so suspicious.
“I’ve only been fishing a few times in my life. Never really had the opportunity, my dad wasn’t into it. My grandpa was, but I grew up in Illinois and my grandparents lived in Arizona, so I didn’t see themoftenand inArizona, there aren’tmanyplaces withbodies ofwater.” She pauses, following nexttomedownthetrail.“Isthatall hecaresabout?Her looks?”
“Who, Thad? Uh no. He’s not superficial at all.” Okay, that may not be entirely true. Clearly Mia is drop-dead gorgeous so that was the first thing that attracted him to her. But she’s funny and sweetandthosearethethingsthatkeephimattractedtoher.
“Whatever yousay.”
Shedoesnotsoundconvinced.
“Thad and I are sapiosexuals we recentlydiscovered this after too manybottles of beer, while payingclose attentiontothe halftime commercial duringa football game onone ofThad’s bye weeks. Onecameonfor anonlinedatingapp,ergo,we’resapiosexuals.”
That’show Iknow ThadlikesMiafor Mia,andnotbecauseMialookslikeamodel. Er.
Yeah.
“Asapio-whatnow?”
“Sapiosexual. Finding someone’s mind to be the most attractive thing about them over physical appearances.”
Julietsnorts. “Ohyeah? Thenwhyhas he beenphotographed withactresses and models ifhe’s so attractedtobrains?”
Ilaugh,amused.“Please.Don’tbelieveeverythingyouseeonline.”
Sheisstill notconvincedand how did this trail become so damn long?Arewethereyet?
“Don’t believe everything I see or read online? How can you say that when he’s photographed withabeautiful new someoneeverysingleweek?”
“It’spartofthejob.”
Shesnortsagain.“Uh,okay.”
“Didabugflyupyour nose?Whydoyoukeepsnorting?”
She waves a hand aimlessly. “It’s just something I unintentionally do, okay? I inherited the snort genefrommymother.”
“Geneticsnorting?”
“Yes.”
“Hey.” I touch her arm to stop her before we’re down on the shore, within hearing distance of Thad and Mia. “I was being serious before Thad met Mia, part of his job was to pretend to be datingcertainpeople. Publicists setitup, it’s basicallypublicitystunts, more so for the actresses and models.Helpseveryoneout.”
“How doesthathelpoutafootball player?”
“Because, the more fans and public love him, the more visible he is on social media, the more companieswanttoendorsehim.”Longstoryshort?“Money.”
She’ssilent.Then,“Oh.Iguessthatmakessense.”
We continue walking. “And for the record, some of those gorgeous womenyou’ve seenwere his sisters.Hebringsthemtoeventsalotandtheyarestunning.”
“Modelstoo,nodoubt.”
“No. Keelee is a fifth grade teacher who happens to be married, and Victoria is getting her master’s.He’sbroughtbothofthemtotheESPY’safew times,butmostly,hisagentsetsupphotoops withfemalecelebritiestoboosthispopularity.Happensall thetime.”
“Interesting.”
“Yeah sodon’tbethinkinghe’sascumbagskirtchaser.He’snot.”
Julietseems to take myword onthis as we finallyarrive atthe fishingboatthat’s beenpulled up to the shore, fishing poles sticking out in their holders, the guide already in the driver seat. I don’t remember hiringone bothThad and Iknow a thingor two abouthow to drive a boat, and withfour adultsinthesmall space?Itsurewouldbeatightfitifthedudestays.
He’sasbigasweare.
I notice a large wicker picnic basket and a big beverage cooler taking up additional precious space;onemorebodyjustisn’tgoingtowork,evenifsomeoneisgoingtousethecooler asseating.
“Hey, Captain?” I greet the guy. “I don’t thinkwe hired a guide for the day? Tomorrow night we have someone driving the Sunset cruise, but today I believe we are on our own?” I don’t want to comeoffasacompleteassholesoIposeitasaquestion.
“Thatright?” The dude takes offhis ballcap and scratches his chin. “Fine byme. I’ll justpull her up to the dock so you can all safely board and if you aren’t needin’me today, I can come back in a few hours.”HewaitswhileThadandIdeliberate.
“Yeahbuddy,Ithinkwe’regood.I’vebeendrivingabouthalfmylife.”Mybuddydigs inhis back pocketandproduceshiswallet,peelingitopenandshellingoutafew bills.
Notwantingtolooklikeaschmuck,Idothesame.
“Thanksfor your time,bro,appreciateit.We’ll circlebackaroundattheendoftheday.”
Can we pause to mention that Thad is sponsored by a wildlife and outdoor supply company? Yeah. He does do the scout and fishing guide thing most often than not, but I think today he was lookingforwardtosomeprivacywithMia.
Prettylake.Prettygirl.
Picniclunch.
Quietsetting,beautiful weather.
Kindofromanticinaway.
The guy wants to flirt with his girlfriend and show off a little bit can’t quite do that with a professional intheboatgivingyouinstructionsyou’realreadyfamiliar with,canyou?
Don’tblamehimfor tippingtheguyandsendinghimonhismerryway.
“Cell serviceshouldbegood,I’ll shootyoumynumber.”
Now my best friend is scratching at his chin in thought. “How about we call it three o’clock don’twanttobeoutterriblylong,thegirlsmaygetbored.”
“Three o’clock?” Mia gulps. “That’s like…” I can see her mentally counting the hours being trappedinafishingboat,her eyesdartingfromustotheboat.“Four hours.”
“I brought a book,” Juliet perkily announces, pulling it out of the back of her pants. She’s had it tuckedintoher waistband,grinningwiththeannouncement.
Her friendgroans.“Ugh,whydidn’tIthinkofthat?”
Julietloops her armthroughher friend’s.“Youcansunbathe
onthatlittle sundeckthingyifyouget
bored.It’ll betheperfectweather for it.”
Sundeckthingy?
I thinkshe’s referringto the bow, where the trollingmotor is situated and where we canstand to cast.
Butsundeckthingyworks,too,Iguess.
“Oh,goodidea!”
The guide gets us all situated,showingus the bait,the rods,andgivingus a quickoverview ofthe control panels. Where everything is stored, safety features, life jackets and cushions, the whole shebang,beforesendingusonour way.
Offwego!
