South Florida Family Life December 2020

COMPLIMENTARY

DECEMBER 2020

Joyful CELEBRATIONS FUN IS NOT CANCELED

SIGN on

the LINE DIGITAL CONTRACTS TO KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE

theGIFT of

TIME

NOT ALL PRESENTS COME IN A BOX

Gerson, who had a heart transplant, with Svetlana Shugh, MD

Lifesaving Expertise Years of Heart Transplants With hands that heal and hearts that care, Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital and Memorial Transplant Institute mark our 10-year milestone in children’s heart transplants.

Now more than ever, families can place their trust in us to safely care for their children when it matters most.

Every heart transplant means a second chance.

We thank our donor families and commend our heart transplant teams for their expertise and dedication.

You can help more children like Gerson at JDCH.com/Give.

JDCH.com/Transplant

2020-21

AN IMMERSIVE POP-UP EXPERIENCE

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contents

DECEMBER 2020

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COMMUNITY CLOSE-UP Our special advertising section takes a look at some local businesses and how they’re continuing to connect with the community while keeping the health and safety of families in mind.

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TOP 10 HOLIDAY COMMANDMENTS Thou shall make this season merry and bright.

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THE GIFT OF TIME Being present can be the greatest gift of all.

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JOYFUL CELEBRATIONS We’ve wrapped up a lengthy list of local winter fun for the family.

departments 6

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SOUTH FLORIDA SPOTLIGHT

SPECIAL NEEDS

HOME TECH

WORDS OF WISDOM

7 things to know about parents of children with special needs, and ways you can provide support.

Raise responsible digital citizens with a safety contract.

Holiday hijinks with the Elf on the Shelf.

Staying in touch with the people, places and events in our community.

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The Perfect Holiday Gift…

Our mission is to enrich family life in South Florida by offering the highest quality publication and an unparalleled commitment to our readers and our community.

A Horse to Love!

Sponsor a Horse

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stacey Jacques

and your child can ride, bathe, and groom their “own” horse $175 for 15 days or $300 for a full month

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Michelle Liem

Magical Mini Program

PUBLISHER Lisa Goodlin

ASSISTANT EDITOR Shannon Pease-Severance DIGITAL & SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Jennifer Jhon STAFF WRITER Greg Carannante SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Suzy Miguelez • Sheila Ranson CREATIVE DIRECTOR Carrie B. Weeks

Membership Program

Join for as little as $15 a year and get the opportunity to volunteer and learn more about horses.

Perfect for that special little animal lover.

Ages 6-10. $35 Thank you for the community support and generosity throughout the year. Please consider FRIENDS when making your year-end contributions and estate planning.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Broward’s Oldest & Largest Horse Rescue 19801 Sheridan Street, Southwest Ranches • 954-609-5943

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is a non-profit 501(c)3 organization established in 1987 and relies solely on the generosity of the community, trusts, foundations and grants.All donations are tax deductible.

PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Toni Kirkland • Linda Seavey DIGITAL DEVELOPMENT MANAGER Tom Gonzales CONTACT US: 4611 S. University Drive, #224 Davie, FL 33328 Phone (954) 424-7405 info@familylifemediagroup.com

For information on where to find South Florida Family Life, or to become a distributor, call 954-424-7405 or e-mail info@familylifemediagroup.com Comments and suggestions are welcome.

South Florida Family Life is published twelve times per year

by Family Life Media Group. It is distributed free of charge throughout South Florida. South Florida Family Life is not responsible for statements made by advertisers or writers. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of information we print, but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. All photography and letters sent to South Florida Family Life will be treated unconditionally, assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and comment editorially. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is forbidden.

Copyright 2020 by Family Life Media Group.

All rights reserved.

December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 5

SOUTH FLORIDA spotlight

From cozy to COVID CELEBRATING THE SEASON — FROM A DISTANCE

T

he holidays have always looked different in South Florida. We have boat parades and celebrations on the beach instead of snow, and weekends are usually filled with outdoor events as people take advantage of winter’s cooler, drier days.

But this year, with COVID-19 restrictions in place, many crowd-gathering traditions have been canceled to keep people safe.

Thankfully, some organizers are getting creative with their events and helping South Florida celebrate the season while staying socially distanced.

In Cooper City, the traditional treelighting event has been changed to several nights of guided tours through a holiday wonderland filled with carolers, holiday characters and snow. The Dec. 3-5 event is free, but registration is required.

For more information, visit www.coopercityfl.org.

Coral Springs is keeping its holiday parade plans, but with a twist: The cars will drive by, while the floats remain stationary.

The Holiday Drive-Thru

Experience will be Dec. 9 along Sportsplex Drive.

Learn more at www.coralsprings.org.

In Miami, the Florida Chamber Orchestra is planning its traditional holiday concert on Dec. 13 in a very untraditional setting: outside the Miami-Dade County Auditorium. Concertgoers will be guided to a parking spot, where they can tune in to a corresponding FM station to listen to the holiday performance.

More information is available at www.miamidadecountyauditorium.org.

The Miami City Ballet is also taking the stage outside with The Nutcracker in the Park on Dec. 18-31 in downtown Doral Park. Visit www.miamicityballet.org to learn more.

Miami has two new lights and music drive-thru experiences this year. Santa’s Spectacular! runs on select nights through Dec. 23 at Tamiami Park, and Bright Lights Miami runs through Jan. 10 at Virginia Key Beach Park. Prices are per car and reservations are required.

Learn more at www.santaspectacular.com and www.brightlightsmiami.com.

And Broward County’s traditional Holiday Fantasy of Lights is back, through Jan. 2 at Tradewinds Park in Coconut Creek. For details, visit www.holidaylightsdrivethru.com.

There are many more holiday celebrations planned.

For an extensive list of in-person events, please see our Joyful Celebrations on page 14, or visit our online calendar at www.southfloridafamilylife.com.

Fun with your four-legged friend Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden takes yoga’s Downward Dog to a literal level with Doga, one of the venue’s Dog Date activities this December.

From Doga and Dog Strolls to a Holiday Dog Bazaar, Fairchild offers many opportunities to bring your beloved fur baby out for some fresh air and fun.

From 1 to 4 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 6, dog aficionados can bring Fido along to fulfill his holiday wish list while perusing the pet-friendly goods sold by local dog-centric vendors at the Holiday Dog Bazaar.

If you aren’t sure what to pick for your pup, there will be people to help guide you in selecting the perfect present.

If simply strolling the lush gardens is more your speed, bring your furry friend for a Dog Date Stroll from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 17. The evening includes a Yappy Hour in the Glasshouse Cafe, where canines can belly up to the dog bar for some fresh, cold water

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to wash down their treats. Human counterparts can purchase food and beverages of their own, including grab and go goodies for the kids, such as chips, cookies and popsicles.

For a little seasonal relaxation, check out the Dog Date Stroll & Doga from 7:30 to 9:30 a.m. on Sunday, Dec. 20.

The early-morning activity includes sun salutations and furry stretches.

Before participating in any of the Dog Dates, owners must sign a waiver in advance, and dogs must remain on leashes at the Garden. For pricing and other information, visit www.fairchildgarden.org

IT’S TIME TO PLAY The Museum of Discovery and Science is reopening to the public this month, allowing visitors to once again experience its unique science playground, interactive aviation and science exhibits, and special traveling exhibit, Expedition Dinosaurs.

Closed because of the pandemic, the downtown Fort Lauderdale museum will open on weekends in December starting Dec. 5. It will operate on limited hours, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturdays and noon to 5 p.m. Sundays, giving families the chance to visit the museum’s iconic river otters and enjoy the life-sized, roaring, animatronic dinosaurs that will call the museum home through Jan. 15.

The Museum of Discovery and Science plans to resume its full operations starting with its Noon Year Eve’s Celebration on Dec. 31, a ball-drop extravaganza for families that is included with museum admission. Beginning that day, the museum will be open daily Tuesdays through Sundays.

The museum is located at 401 SW Second St. in Fort Lauderdale. Learn more online at www.mods.org.

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On the Nina & Louis Silverman Campus • 5850 S. Pine Island Rd., Davie, FL 33328 dpjcc.org | 954-434-0499 December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 7

COMMUNITY CLOSE-UP HISTORIC HOLIDAY DÉCOR: Daily, November 27 – January 8

Historic Holidays at the

DEERING ESTATE

HISTORIC HOLIDAYS EVENING STROLLS December 4 & 16 STORY-TIME & (SOCIALLY DISTANCED) PHOTOS WITH SANTA December 12 HOLIDAY BAY CRUISE December 13 HOLIDAY EVENING

BY THE BAY December 23

www.deeringestate.org 305-235-1668 ext. 233

WINTER CAMP Session I: December 21, 22 & 23 Session II: December 28, 29 & 30

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

To request materials in accessible format, sign language interpreters, and/or any accommodation to participate in any Miami-Dade Parks-sponsored program or meeting, contact Gisel Prado, 305-755-7848 or Gisel.Prado@miamidade.gov, at least 7 days in advance to initiate your request. TTY users may also call 711 (Florida Relay Service).

JOIN THE SHOW 8

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Historic holidays planned at Deering Estate The Deering Estate celebrates the holidays with an exciting lineup of programs and events for the entire family to enjoy, including Historic Holiday Décor: Vintage Florida, Historic Holidays Evening Strolls, Story-Time & (socially distanced) Photos with Santa, Holiday Bay Cruise, and Winter Camp. Santa Claus is visiting the Deering Estate on Saturday, Dec. 12 for Story-Time & (socially distanced) Photos with Santa. At Deering Estate Winter Camp, children ages 6-14 are invited to explore and learn from nature. Two different three-day sessions are available: Dec. 21-23 and Dec. 28-30, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.

For all programs and events, guests must practice social distancing and wear face coverings (ages 2 and up), and they are not allowed to gather in groups larger than 10 people. For more information on holiday season events at Deering Estate, please visit www.deeringestate.org or call the Deering Estate ticket office at 305-235-1668, ext. 233.

Learn to be a star with Area Stage Company Area Stage Company is South Florida’s premiere performing arts training facility, offering Conservatory-style classes and Broadway-quality productions year-round.

Learn acting, voice, dance, musical theatre and more while performing a full musical in front of an audience of friends and family.

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Enroll in our Spring session now!

In-person productions are BACK with safety and sanitation measures in place.

Space is limited, and spots are going quickly! All ages and experience levels welcome. There truly is something for every young performer!

COMMUNITY CLOSE-UP

Family lights tradition survives & thrives

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Has it really been nearly three decades since Broward County Parks and Recreation Division launched Holiday Fantasy of Lights? Yes, it has!

The drive-through light show at Tradewinds Park & Stables in Coconut Creek celebrates its 26th season this year, having been on hiatus a couple of times due to Hurricane Wilma in 2005 and the financial crisis of 2007-08. The event resumed on an annual basis in 2008 under the management of Brandano Displays.

What is now a tradition for many families was originally envisioned as a holiday event that would stretch for weeks instead of days, bringing people together for a celebration of lights, all to be enjoyed from the comfort of visitors’ own vehicles.

That idea of staying in your car or truck or van is especially relevant now, when we want to maintain social distancing in the midst of a pandemic.

The first HFOL, in 1993, included 26 displays along a 1.2-mile drive through Tradewinds Park, as well as lights strung through trees on the route. The event ran 39 days and drew about 142,000 visitors in 28,000 vehicles. Brandano came on board as the official light-display vendor the following year, as HFOL grew to more than 40 displays.

It’s estimated that more than 2 million visitors, in more than half a million vehicles, have passed through HFOL since it began. This year’s event has grown to almost 3 miles featuring more than 65 animated and static light displays.

The Fantasy of Lights 5K Run/Walk and Bike Through the Lights nights were suspended this year because of COVID-19 restrictions on large gatherings. But more than 1 million twinkling lights will be on hand every night, ushering us into a new year.

December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 9

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holiday COMMANDMENTS X

MAKING THIS SEASON MERRY & BRIGHT

Want to experience a more joyful holiday season this year that doesn’t leave you depleted, miserable and broke?

Here are 10 ways to shift your perspective and take command of this “hap-happiest” time of the year!

B Y C H R I S TA M E L N Y K H I N E S

Thou shall quit worshipping perfection.

Nothing burns holes into the fantasy holiday like real life. Maybe the tree is a lopsided, the dog ate your 7-year-old’s gingerbread house, or you were so focused on creating the best holiday ever that you ended up too sick to enjoy it when the big day finally arrived.

“Decide to do things differently this year. Strive for the good and be satisfied with the good. Too often the focus is on the result, and we tend to lose focus on the beautiful process of getting to the result,” says therapist Julia Flynn.

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Thou shall not overcommit. Decide ahead of time which activities won’t work this year.

Instead of committing to too much, choose what you are enthusiastic about.

“Be firm, decisive and assertive, always coming from a place of love for everyone and keeping the focus on the origin of the holidays,” says Flynn, who specializes in helping women manage anxiety, depression and holiday overwhelm. “Graciously decline and send a nice card or note.”

2

Thou shall rediscover “the why.” Take time to reevaluate your priorities. How do you want the season to feel? What do you want your kids to remember most?

“Sometimes we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why this time of year is important to us because I think ‘the why’ gets lost. It just becomes an expectation of self and family — or whoever — to have it look a certain way,” says Maki Moussavi, a transformational coach, speaker and author of The High Achievers Guide: Transform your Success Mindset and Begin the Quest to Fulfillment. “Take a step back to assess, from an intangible, emotional perspective, why the holidays are important.”

3

Thou shall rest. Self-care is essential all year long, but especially during the extra busy holidays when your stress level is more likely to skyrocket. Pare down your list to what reasonably makes sense for your health, time and emotional wellbeing. And practice restorative techniques that relax and re-energize you.

Simple ways to recharge include a warm bath, watching a favorite TV show, a walk outside, curling up with a juicy novel, a nap or a massage.

4

Thou shall honor thy family. Attempts to please others by saying yes to everyone else’s holiday plans without taking into account you and your family’s desires can cause undue anxiety, frustration and resentment.

For those events that you’d like to attend, but can’t, firmly communicate to your extended family or friends that you value time spent with them and would like to discuss alternative ideas for getting together. Don’t feel guilty about standing by your decisions.

“You have every right in the world to establish what you want your holiday tradition to be. You are not obligated to participate in somebody else’s version of the season,” Moussavi says.

5

Thou shall invite thy partner’s participation.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed because you’re trying to manage the bulk of holiday prep on top of working and taking care of your family, ask your spouse for help. Discuss what you’d both like the season to look and feel like.

“Sometimes it’s not that men don’t want to be involved.

It’s that they are never invited to be, and they don’t ask,” Moussavi says.

Maybe your husband can mail the packages for out-of-town family, shop for groceries or take charge of a few of the gifts.

6

Thou shall not allow others to steal thy happiness. Plan ahead for those individuals who love to bait you into an upsetting conversation at annual gatherings.

Since you know how the person is likely to behave, rehearse how you will respond when they pounce.

“The only thing you can do is get better at making it clear what you will and won’t tolerate,” Moussavi says. “You have to shut it down. You standing up for yourself is normal, empowered adult behavior.”

Arm yourself with responses like: “I’m here to enjoy myself. I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Or, “Let’s agree to disagree.”

Also, physically exit from the situation by saying: “I’m going to go refresh my drink.” Or, “I have to make a call.”

7

Thou shall simplify. “The holiday can be manageable and simple if we allow it to be,” Flynn says. “What makes the holiday so difficult is our own thinking about it. We make it difficult for ourselves.”

Experiment with small changes that can relieve your stress. Hire a caterer to handle dinner. Forgo Christmas cards this year. For the relative who has everything, send flowers or make a donation in their name to an organization that is important to them.

8

Thou shall not compete with thy neighbors.

As Theodore Roosevelt once quipped: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Some people enjoy casting their home in a professionallycreated holiday glow while others prefer to hang a festive wreath on their door and call it good. Do what brings you pleasure and makes sense for your budget.

9

Thou shall give from thy heart. Rather than twisting yourself in knots seeking the perfect present for everyone on your list, take a more light-hearted approach to gift-giving. For example, give a T-shirt with a meaningful quote, a digital photo album commemorating a fun getaway, or an experience like tickets to the zoo or a museum. Volunteering your time is also a fulfilling way to give.

“If you are intentional, you can make the holidays about the ideas of love, caring for one another, understanding, enjoying quality time together and treating each other as the precious beings each of us are,” Flynn says.

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gift of time

the

Not all presents come in a box

BY JANEEN LEWIS

arents want their children's holidays to be magical. Sometimes this means driving all over town or frantically searching online for trendy toys or gadgets only to find that children quickly grow bored and banish them to the back of the closet or toy box after the holidays.

This year, why not give your child the gift of time by picking out an activity you can do together? Try one of these in-person or online-experience gift ideas and pair it with a related item to elevate the power of your present.

A Heart for the Arts

Is your child a budding van Gogh or drama queen? Here are some ideas for visual and performing arts experience gifts.

Experience gifts: • A membership or ticket to an

art museum • A day at a paint-your-own pottery place or a painting class • Acting sessions • Dance classes • Singing lessons Tangible gifts: • Paint, an easel, drawing books,

a Spirograph or gel crayons • Pottery wheel for kids • Makeup kit for actors, costume

jewelry and clothing

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• Tap, jazz or ballet shoes • Microphone

Sports Fans

Sports are not only a fun way for a child to get exercise, but they also provide an opportunity for parents to connect to kids.

Experience gifts: • Tickets to a professional

sporting event • Visit a sporting stadium or Hall of Fame • Membership or admission to

an ice or roller skating rink • Lessons with a private coach

for a favorite sport • Batting facility membership Tangible gifts: • Ticket stub diary to hold tickets,

cards and other keepsakes • Professional or college team jerseys

or hats • Ice skates or roller blades • Fitness tracker watch • Sports equipment

Crafty and Creative

Does your child like to create projects over time? Maybe you’re a maker-minded parent who wants your child to learn practical life skills. Here are some ideas to get your hobbyist started:

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Experience gifts: • Knitting, sewing or crocheting workshops • Woodworking classes • Crafting lessons • Beginning jewelry-making classes • Lessons in glasswork • Bath bomb, soap or lotion-making tutorials Tangible gifts: • A crochet kit or beginner sewing machine • A woodworking kit • Origami, craft paper or beads • A jewelry-making kit • Materials to make spa products or cosmetics

Future Foodies

You could be raising the next Pioneer Woman or Bobby Flay. Support their love of creating dishes with these fun ideas.

Experience gifts: • Cooking lessons • Dinner at a fine dining, gourmet or

culturally diverse restaurant to

explore different foods Tangible gifts: • Personalized chef apron, jacket or hat • A cooking set or kid-friendly cookbook

Nature Lovers

Get outdoors and enjoy fishing, hiking, camping, canoeing and more with your child.

Experience gifts: • Membership to a nature center • Kayaking, canoeing or

paddle boarding • Fishing trip • Beginner scuba diving or

snorkeling lessons Tangible gifts: • Compass, hiking gear, tent or binoculars • Fishing rod and gear • Scuba or snorkeling gear

Wild About Books

Experience gifts: • Settle in for a story time • Check out a book or other materials

at the library • Attend an author visit or book signing

of your child’s favorite author Tangible gifts: • E-reader • Magnetic clip bookmarks or a book light • Reading tent • Cozy beanbag chair • Magazine subscription

NSU Alvin Sherman Library's

Free Virtual Health and Wellness Programs

Early Literacy

Tuesday, December 8, 2020 12 p.m. - 1 p.m. | Zoom Learn more at lib.nova.edu/HERO

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COMPILED BY SHANNON PEASE-SEVERANCE

CELEBRATIONS Looking for holiday fun?

We’ve wrapped up a list of festive, on-site events that make this month merry and bright. Don’t forget to double-check COVID-19 guidelines and other restrictions before setting out on your adventure.

BROWARD COUNTY LIGHT UP COOPER CITY AT THE PARK

Thursday- Saturday, December 3-5 Take a 10-minute guided tour through an enchanted holiday wonderland with carolers, holiday characters and snow. Memorial Park, between City Hall and the Community Center, COOPER CITY, 954-434-4300 www.coopercityfl.org

WINTER WONDERLAND ON WHEELS Friday, December 4

Drive through to see holiday lights and festive decorations. Free. 6-8pm, City of Sunrise Municipal Complex, 10770 W. Oakland Park Blvd., SUNRISE, 954-747-4600 www.sunrisefl.gov/winter

ELF

Friday, December 4 Bring the family and some snacks for a drive-in screening of Elf. Free. 7-8:45pm, Villages of Hillsboro, 4111 NW Sixth St., DEERFIELD BEACH, www.deerfield-beach.com

HOLIDAY LIGHTS CRUISE December 4-23 & 26-30

Check out the lights that line the shore while cruising the Intracoastal by way of Water Taxi. Tour includes sightseeing, holiday music and sing-alongs. Space limited. $35/adult, $15/child. Advance purchase online.

Fort Lauderdale Water Taxi stop by Riverside Hotel, FORT LAUDERDALE, www.watertaxi.com

FLASHLIGHT CANDY CANE HUNT Tuesday-Thursday, December 8-10

$10/resident, $15/non-resident. Ages 2-4 Tuesday, ages 5-7 Wednesday, ages 8-10 Thursday.

Pre-register online. 6:30-7:30pm, Coconut Creek Community Center, 1100 Lyons Rd., COCONUT CREEK, www.coconutcreek.net

CORAL SPRINGS HOLIDAY DRIVE-THRU EXPERIENCE Wednesday, December 9

Coral Springs presents a new twist on its traditional parade by keeping the floats stationary and having vehicles drive through. 6pm, Sportsplex Dr., CORAL SPRINGS, www.coralsprings.org

MENORAH LIGHTING Thursday, December 10

for the Performing Arts, 201 SW Fifth Ave., FORT LAUDERDALE, 954-462-0222 www.browardcenter.org

BETHLEHEM REVISITED

Friday-Tuesday, December 11-15 Walk through Bethlehem of 2,000 years ago, experience the sights and sounds of the marketplace and streets, see the Christ child in the manager.

Donations accepted. Friday, Monday & Tuesday 7-9pm, Saturday & Sunday 6-9pm. First United Methodist Church of Coral Springs, 8650 W. Sample Rd., CORAL SPRINGS, 954-752-0333 www.bethlehem-revisted.com

POLAR EXPRESS PAJAMA PARTY

Join the Promenade at Coconut Creek and the South Florida Jewish Academy for a menorah lighting, Chanukah masks, music and fun. 5pm, Promenade at Coconut Creek (near Starbucks), 4443 Lyons Rd., COCONUT CREEK, www.promenadeatcoconutcreek.com

GREATER POMPANO BEACH HOLIDAY BOAT PARADE

Saturdays, December 12 & 19

Wear your pajamas or elf costume and celebrate the season with a holiday science show, museum exploration, crafts and an IMAX presentation of Polar Express. $30. Museum of Discovery and Science, 401 SW Second St., FORT LAUDERDALE, 954-713-0930 www.mods.org

HOLIDAY LIGHT TOUR

Friday, December 11

See a procession of decked-out boats travel down the Intracoastal Waterway, starting at Lake Santa Barbara, POMPANO BEACH, heading north to Hillsboro Boulevard. This year’s theme: A Salute to our First Responders and Essential Workers.

7-10pm. www.pompanobeachchamber.com

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

December 12-28

Is your family looking for holiday lights?

View an official tour map at www.coconutcreek.net/holidaylighttour, and set off to see the best COCONUT CREEK light displays in town. Winners will be announced Dec. 28 on Coconut Creek social media platforms.

GARDEN OF LIGHTS

Friday-Sunday, December 11-13

Join Scrooge, Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim for this traditional holiday tale. $25. Friday 5 & 8pm; Use a flashlight to find candy canes hidden around Saturday and Sunday 2 & 5pm. Broward Center the park. Event also includes bagZM_WinterCamp20_1_2page_MiaFam7_25x4_25_FNL_REV.pdf decorating. ai160556103069_(O) 1 11/16/20

December 18-23 & 26-27 See the botanical gardens and the historic Wray 4:10 PM

continued on page 16

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Home decked out with thousands of lights and decorations. $15.95/adult, $12.95/child. Friday & Saturday 5-9pm, Sunday-Wednesday 5-8pm.

Flamingo Gardens & Wildlife Sanctuary, 3750 Flamingo Rd., DAVIE, 954-473-2955 www.flamingogardens.org

NOON YEAR’S EVE

Thursday, December 31 Ring in 2021 with dancing on a Kids Pop Dance Floor, noise makers and a special MODS Ball Drop at noon. Included with paid admission.

11am-1pm, Museum of Discovery and Science, 401 SW Second St., FORT LAUDERDALE, 954-713-0930 www.mods.org

SYMPHONY IN LIGHTS Through December 31

A spectacular dancing light show with thousands of animated lights and a towering Christmas tree all synchronized to music. The 15-minute light show begins at the top of every hour. Free.

6-11pm, Gulfstream Park, 901 S. Federal Hwy., HALLANDALE BEACH, 954-454-7000 www.gulfstreampark.com

HOLIDAY FANTASY OF LIGHTS Through January 2

A spectacular drive-through display of illuminated trees and animated figures. 6-10pm, Tradewinds Park, 3600 W. Sample Rd., COCONUT CREEK, www.holidaylightsdrivethru.com

MIAMI-DADE COUNTY PARK AND TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY Friday, December 4

This festive lighting ceremony kicks off the holidays.

6-7pm, Government Center, 8401 NW 53 Terrace, DORAL, www.cityofdoral.com

FIRST FRIDAYS: HOLIDAYS AT VIZCAYA Friday, December 4

Enjoy extended hours the first Friday of the month as you take in the beauty of the Main House and gardens decorated with old world charm for the holidays. $8-$18. 5pm, Vizcaya Museum and Gardens, 3251 S. Miami Ave., MIAMI, www.vizcaya.org

HOLIDAY GOLF CART PARADE & TOY DRIVE Saturday, December 12

A unique take on a typical parade as a procession of decked-out golf carts glide by. 6-10pm, Cutler Ridge Park, 10100 SW 200 St., CUTLER BAY, 786-573-5502, www.cutlerbay-fl.gov

STORY TIME WITH SANTA Saturday, December 12

Stop by for a visit, story reading and photo with the big guy. 10am-noon, Deering Estate, 16701 SW 72 Ave., MIAMI, 305-235-1668 www.deeringestate.org

WINTERLAND AT THE FARM December 12-January 10

Sunday, December 6, 2 p.m. – 2:45 p.m.

facebook.com/AlvinShermanLibrary

Have some old-fashioned holiday fun at the farm with a pony ride, magic show and holiday-themed photo opportunities. Online reservations required. $24.99. Pinto’s Farm, 14890 SW 216 St., MIAMI, 305-258-6067 www.pintofarm.com

FLORIDA CHAMBER ORCHESTRA: VERY MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON 2020 Sunday, December 13

Listen to this traditional concert in an untraditional outdoor setting. Participants will be guided to a

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parking spot where they tune in to a corresponding FM station to listen to a holiday performance.

7pm, Miami-Dade County Auditorium, 2901 W. Flagler St., MIAMI, 305-547-5414 www.miamidadecountyauditorium.org

SPECTRAL VIZCAYA

Wednesday, December 16 Learn about the history of Vizcaya through sculptures, performances and illuminations projected on the house, throughout the garden and in the bay. $10. 6:30pm, Vizcaya Museum and Gardens, 3251 S. Miami Ave., MIAMI, www.vizcaya.org

THE NUTCRACKER IN THE PARK December 18-31

The Miami City Ballet presents a magical, outdoor show that combines a live dance performance with dazzling animation and video sequences on a giant screen. Showtimes vary. Downtown Doral Park, 8395 NW 53 St., DORAL, www.miamicityballet.org

Dec. 18-23 & 26-27, 2020 Sunday-Wednesday: 5-8pm Friday-Saturday: 5-9pm Thousands of lights decorate the gardens, costumed characters and musical performances.

SANTA’S SPECTACULAR! A DRIVE-THRU MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA Select dates through December 23

Sing along to holiday favorites as actors, singers and dancers lead you through this musical holiday adventure. Time-slot reservations required.

Tamiami Park, 11201 SW 24 St., MIAMI, www.santa-spectacular.com

ZOO LIGHTS MIAMI

Through December 27 For 12 select nights through December 29, visitors can see the zoo twinkle with more than 1 million dazzling lights. See website for details.

6:30-10pm, Zoo Miami, 12400 SW 152 St., MIAMI, 305-251-0400 www.zoomiami.org

www.flamingogardens.org

Admission after 5pm: $15.95 ages 12+, $12.95 ages 3-11, children 2 & under and members free. Wildlife exhibits, museum and tram closed.

3750 S Flamingo Rd, Davie, FL 33330

954-473-2955

Funding for this project is provided in part by Broward County Board of County Commissioners as recommended by the Broward Cultural Council.

Sponsored in part by the State of Florida, Department of State, Division of Cultural Affairs and the Florida Council on Arts and Culture.

NIGHTS OF LIGHTS Through January 3

Walk through a winter wonderland brightened by thousands of twinkling lights positioned throughout a botanical landscape. Activities include a story time with Mrs. Claus and special appearance by Santa. Select evenings include a holiday concert performance. 6-10pm, Pinecrest Gardens, 11000 Red Rd., PINECREST, www.pinecrestgardens.org

HISTORIC HOLIDAY DÉCOR: VINTAGE FLORIDA Through January 8

The holidays come alive as you tour the elegantly decorated historic houses at Deering Estate. $7-$15. Deering Estate, 16701 SW 72 Ave., MIAMI, 305-235-1668 www.deeringestate.org

BRIGHT LIGHTS MIAMI Through January 10

A holiday event like no other, this drive-in/ drive-thru experience brings the magic of lights, music and laser to the next level. All ages.

Reserve online. Virginia Key Beach Park, 4020 Virginia Beach Dr., MIAMI, 305-960-4600 www.brightlightsmiami.com

PALM BEACH COUNTY ZOO LIGHTS

Select nights through January 9 Stroll the zoo while it’s twinkling with more than 1 million eco-friendly lights.

6-9pm, Palm Beach Zoo, 1301 Summit Blvd., WEST PALM BEACH, 561-547-9453 www.palmbeachzoo.org

December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 17

SPECIAL needs

How to bridge the gap 7 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

BY RACHAEL MOSHMAN

M

y husband and I adopted our daughter when she was 9 years old. She has a long list of mental health diagnoses. We quickly discovered that parenting a child with special needs results in the whole family having a challenging set of special needs.

As I’ve interacted with other parents of children with special needs, I’ve noticed that there are some factors that most of us have in common. These characteristics are typically present regardless of if the child has been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, physical disabilities, Down syndrome, emotional issues or any other special needs.

Isabel Garcia, the CEO of Parent to Parent of Miami, said other situations can put parents in the same spot, whether their child is dealing with cancer, a lost foot or hand, or other challenge.

The reaction of their friends to their family’s challenge is a reinforcement of what these families will face in the community, so support from loved ones is important.

Here’s what you should know: 1. WE’RE TIRED. REALLY, REALLY TIRED. Exhausted, actually.

This isn’t an occasional thing for us. We don’t miss out on a full

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night of sleep once in a while. It’s all of the time. My daughter suffers with insomnia and nocturnal panic attacks. It is not uncommon for her to be awake for most of the night. Even if we do get enough sleep, we’re still run down from all of the energy it takes to manage our child’s condition. Our schedules are jam packed with various doctor, therapy and psychiatric appointments, IEP meetings and trips to the pharmacy. On top of it all, we still have to go to work and keep up with general household duties.

2. OUR BRAINS ARE CONSTANTLY BUSY. We’re always considering possible triggers in every situation, wondering how to explain our child’s unique needs to others and worrying about the future. My daughter suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and seemingly innocent encounters can send her into a meltdown.

I spend hours analyzing every one, looking for the trigger and making plans to help her process it and get through it better next time.

3. WE KNOW MORE ABOUT OUR CHILD’S CONDITION THAN MOST DOCTORS. I’ve read piles of books on mental health and my daughter’s specific diagnosis. I keep up with the latest research online. Her pediatrician, psychiatrist, therapist and other

professionals have commented that I know more than many of their colleagues. I had to become the expert for my child. I’ve found this is true with most parents of children with special needs. I know a few parents who went back to school to get degrees to become teachers, therapists, social workers and researchers helping other families like their own.

4. WE’RE LONELY. Our friends and family often have stepped away because our child’s needs made them uncomfortable. Or perhaps we had to step away from them because they refused to respect our boundaries and parenting decisions. Most special needs children don’t respond well to traditional parenting methods. Our brains may explode if we hear, just one more time, that all our child needs is more discipline. Discipline isn’t the issue.

Our child’s condition is — and that isn’t their fault or ours. My husband’s mother even cut off contact because she found our situation too stressful to be part of.

5. WE’RE FRAGILE. We feel judged all the time. We want what’s best for our child like any other parent and worry if we’re doing enough for them. We often don’t have enough time or energy left to take care of ourselves.

6. WE’VE TRIED EVERYTHING. We know you want to help, but if there is a possible solution, we’ve tried it. I’ve been asked countless times if I’ve tried “warm milk” for my daughter’s insomnia. We’ve tried everything on a quest to make life easier for our children and families — conventional and unconventional. We need friends to listen and support, but we don’t need you to offer solutions.

7. WE’RE DESPERATE FOR NORMALCY. Yes, we’re overwhelmed and exhausted.

Our children have quirks and challenges that often make navigating life challenging.

But we’re up for the challenge and are teaching them to be open to all that life has to offer, too. Don’t leave us out. Invite us to your birthday parties, playdates and mom’s night outs.

Our participation depends on many factors, but we still want to be included and will do our best to be there and have fun. Vent to us about your problems and share the latest celebrity gossip. Much of our lives are spent inside a small bubble trying to manage our child’s needs. We welcome the chance for some fresh air.

So what can you do to help parents of children with special needs? Understand that we’re overwhelmed and near the edge. Bring us coffee and a muffin “just because.”

Tell us we’re doing a great job. Be gentle and kind with us. We’re doing the best we can.

Rachael Moshman, M.Ed., is a mother, freelance writer, educator and family advocate who has been writing about family life and parenting for a decade. She is a proponent of self-love and self-acceptance, regardless of your parental status.

JOIN US VIRTUALLY!

BABY & ME! For parents and babies birth to 6 months Classes meet once a week for 10 weeks DISCUSS & LEARN WAYS TO: • Understand your baby’s language • Help your baby grow and develop Take home FREE baby items!

Meet other parents!

HELPFUL HINTS

For parents of children 1-3 years Classes meet once a week for 12 weeks

BY JENNIFER JHON Parents of children with special needs can feel isolated and misunderstood. This is because parents who face these challenges go through a transformation, said Isabel Garcia, the CEO of Parent to Parent of Miami. “The people around us don’t go through this transformation, so that creates this imbalance.”

There’s more chaos in your life, regardless of your child’s challenge, Garcia said. “Your friends and family don’t really understand that. People are thinking about (the holidays), and we are thinking about the next neurologist appointment.”

So how can friends and family help?

Be brave. “People are afraid. Nobody wants to go through what we are going through,” Garcia said. But be brave, face your fears and reach out to your loved ones facing challenges.

Anything, even leaving a note at the front door, will help.

Don’t judge. For families with behavioral issues, the judgement is often so unbearable that they feel safer at home and they isolate, creating even more distance between friends and family, Garcia said.

Don’t be easily offended. If your friends miss a dinner or other invitation, don’t ask, “Why didn’t you show up?” but call to say, “We missed you!” Understand that accessibility is a big issue for children with wheelchairs, and sometimes a child’s anxiety or stress is too high for an outing.

Need more help? Parent to Parent is a community resource center for families of children with disabilities. Visit www.ptopmiami.org to learn more.

DISCUSS & LEARN WAYS TO:

• Build a positive relationship with your child • Promote your child’s social-emotional development • Use positive discipline to set limits effectively • Manage separations and reunions Receive FREE items related to course material!

To register, please call 305.243.8425 or e-mail us at FamiliesFirst@miami.edu FOLLOW US

/umfamiliessrst

Funded by The Children’s Trust, our program enables you to learn more about child development and positive discipline from experts at the University of Miami.

December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 19

HOME tech

Sign on the line HOW TO DESIGN A FAMILY DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP CONTRACT

BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

M

any kids will be receiving the gift of technology in the form of handheld devices, gaming units and smartphones this holiday season. This is a good time to re-emphasize your family values when it comes to establishing a positive digital footprint. Just as many schools require students to sign digital citizenship contracts, it’s a good idea for families to do the same.

We raise our kids to be polite and respectful in person, so why wouldn’t we stress those same values in the online environment? A digital citizenship contract can help you spell out your expectations of appropriate online behavior and send a clear message about how seriously you take your child’s safety and online reputation.

Involve your kids in the process of outlining the contract to start a family dialogue about issues that can come up.

Here’s a checklist of points to cover in your contract: TREAT OTHERS WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT. In other words, treat people the same way you wish to be treated, just like in person. Unacceptable behavior includes: • Posting/texting cruel remarks • Gossiping • Bullying • Using profanity • Impersonating others THINK BEFORE YOU POST. “Teenagers are all about instant gratification. They aren’t necessarily thinking: ‘well’ if I do this, how is this going to affect the other person? How’s this going to affect my life in the future?’” says Sarah Manriquez, a licensed clinical social worker.

Remind your kids to ask themselves questions like: • Would I want Mom or Dad to see this?

• How would I feel about Grandma seeing this?

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• Would I be embarrassed if everyone in school saw it?

SHOW EMPATHY. Explain that when they forward or share photos/texts/ videos that are harmful to a peer, they inadvertently condone cyberbullying.

Also, steer clear of mean-spirited chat rooms where anonymous members dish up snarky, cruel comments for entertainment.

ASK PERMISSION. Before logging into someone’s personal device, ask first and then log off of the device when finished.

Before downloading an app, tell your child that he needs to discuss it with you first.

PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY MATTERS. Errors of judgment happen

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when kids are still learning. Immediately address the situation together, whether they need to craft an apology or remove a comment or photo.

DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS. Some free texting and gaming apps (for example, textPlus and Clash of Clans) permit members to connect with other members even if they aren’t “friends.” Emphasize that exchanging text messages with someone they don’t know is the same as talking with a stranger. Often kids don’t view texting and talking in the same light.

GUARD PERSONAL INFORMATION. Avoid posting personal information in response from unknown individuals in a chat room or a public forum like:

• Email address (don’t use your email as a user name) • Home address • Social security number • School name • Birthday with year • Photos with geotags (switch off the camera’s location tag under privacy settings.)

ASSUME EVERYTHING POSTED IS PUBLIC. Texts, images and posts can be saved and shared. Keep up with the latest news, TV shows and other media for examples that can lead to conversation and empathy-building opportunities.

Kids are generally more open to discussing mistakes made by people outside of their immediate circle of friends.

IGNORE ATTACKS. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, one in three students has experienced cyberbullying. Tell your kids to let you or another trusted adult know if someone bullies them. Reacting or retaliating generally adds fuel to the fire.

If the bullying continues, your child can politely ask the person to stop; report the behavior to the content provider; and/or block the individual. Preserve the evidence

and contact law enforcement if your child feels scared or threatened.

Check out www.thatsnotcool.com, a site geared for kids featuring scenarios and text responses to help kids manage cyberbullying, dating violence and awkward peer situations like password requests and gossip.

ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES. Declare certain times of the day, the car or areas of the house as no-phone/no-device zones. At the end of the day, power down and store electronic devices in a central location of your home.

Disconnecting periodically allows for more opportunities to connect as a family, engage in creative pursuits, get adequate sleep, and complete homework and chores. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 72 percent of kids between the ages of 6 and 17 have electronic devices in their rooms. Blame the blue light or incoming message alerts, but kids sleep less if electronic devices are left on, losing up to one hour of sleep a night.

STRESS THAT PRIVACY IS EARNED. Because you are ultimately responsible for your child’s behavior whether online or off, have access to all passwords, check

their phones and visit the apps/social media networks they frequent regularly.

PLEDGE NOT TO TEXT AND DRIVE. Finally, if your child is of driving age, include a pledge on your contract that states a promise that he will not text and drive. Consider watching the 30-minute documentary by Werner Herzog together called “From One Second to the Next” on YouTube.

CLEARLY STATE CONSEQUENCES. Consequences could include loss of devices, screen time (except for required school work) and driving privileges.

SIGN HERE. After your child signs the commitment, hang it up near your computer or on your refrigerator as a family reminder. Review and adjust as needed.

For more ideas about creating a family digital citizenship contract, visit www.safekids.com. Additional online resources include www.commonsensemedia.org and www.connectsafely.com.

Christa Melnyk Hines is a freelance writer and the author of Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.

Thank you to the sponsors and the hundreds of volunteers who made “Broward: Read for the Record” a memorable experience for 40,000 four and five-year olds all over Broward!

December 2020 | S O U T H F L O R I D A F A M I LY L I F E 21

WORDS of wisdom

Magical memories TALES OF OUR ELF ON THE SHELF

BY CHERYL MAGUIRE

“W

hen is the elf coming to our house?” asked my 2-year-old daughter.

At the time, I had no idea what she was referring to.

“Elves don’t come to our house, sweetie. They make toys at Santa’s workshop,” I explained.

“Ella said her elf came to her house yesterday and then goes back to Santa at night.”

I responded with a platitude like “that’s nice” and redirected her attention elsewhere. I thought, or rather hoped, that was the end of the conversation, but I soon learned it was merely the beginning.

This was in 2007, when Elf on the Shelf was making his grand debut. I was a naïve parent who thought that the elf was just a cute stuffed toy in a colorful see-through box.

But looks can be deceiving. The package should contain a large warning label stating: I may look cute, but I require an immense amount of care that will last for the next10 years or so. I also come with a lot of specific rules that must be followed. If you are not up for the challenge, take your hands off the box and go buy a stuffed animal that only requires some occasional washing. Trust me, I’m not joking.

Although, even if that warning was listed, let’s be honest, I would have bought it anyway, because who would believe that a stuffed elf would require more care than a hermit crab or a newborn baby?

When my kids first met their elf, like any pet requiring oodles of time and money (yes money — I’ll get to that later), you have to choose a name.

I rattled off some suggestions of boy names that my husband had negated when we were pondering baby names.

I was excited that I might finally have the chance to have my choice selected.

“How about Gavin, Reese or Aiden?”

They responded the same as their dad did.

“No way!”

After much deliberation, they settled on an extremely creative one – Elfie. Yeah, I wasn’t too impressed either. I’m guessing that probably ranks in the top five for elf names.

After the naming ceremony, I was about to remove Elfie from the box only to hear my daughter scream in terror.

“NNNNOOOO, you can’t touch him mom or he will lose his magic.”

I wondered how I could create the same rule for my phone.

So Elfie sat in the box, untouched, waiting to fly back to Santa to report on my children’s behaviors.

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Now that is something that sounded good to me. A tattletale elf who held a lot of power in the gift-giving department.

What’s not so great is that Elfie works 24-7. By day he’s an observer, keeping tabs on who is being naughty and nice, and by night he takes a round-trip flight to report his findings to Santa. Every morning before the break of dawn, Elfie is back at the house to observe some more. But he doesn’t just plop down on the dining room table or hide away in a toy box. He is far too playful and mischievous for that. Nope, each morning Elfie — without fail — must be found posed in some funny or interesting manner, like zip-lining across the living room on a candy cane or making snow angels in a pile of sprinkles on the kitchen counter.

And then my kids wanted to buy Elfie accessories like clothes, sleeping bags and cooking utensils. This year you can even buy your elf a mask, hand sanitizer and toilet paper.

By the time we were done, Elfie had nicer PJs than I did.

Just like our pet hermit crab, Elfie grew on me over the years, despite the commitment. Last year, my older kids barely uttered hello to Elfie, and they didn’t dare search for him. It was then that I realized how much I’m going to miss the guy when my youngest outgrows him.

I still think Elf on the Shelf should come with a warning label about the huge time commitment, but I would be willing to add a disclaimer saying, “Okay, I’ll admit it — it’s totally worth it.”

Cheryl Maguire is the mother of twins and a daughter and host to an unforgettable elf.

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For a tour or to find a physician, call 305-585-4MOM or visit JacksonMaternity.org.