Greetings, Beautiful People:
Welcome to September and Soulstainable Living! It’s been a long time since the last time (but life…) and I’m so happy to be back in the mix. This month is extra special. It’s the relaunch of Soulstainable Living Magazine and the design is SO DOPE! It’s a collaboration between me and my friend/colleague: Dr. Toya Mañón We have partnered together to present my vision and introduce a new project that I have been working on for almost four years (see above about life): Soulstainable Living Presents The Black Healing Project (BHP)
Listen, this new project is my heart’s work It is a representation of the path to healing that I’m currently on and will be on for the rest of my life. I know what the people say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But guess what: sometimes you just can’t. Sometimes, you just have to take the lemons. Sometimes, you make lemonade. Or lemon cookies. Or let the lemons rot. Because life be life-ing, your actions might vary from moment to moment (no judgment)
What’s new since the last magazine dropped in 2021? (Yes, it’s really been that long!)
THE GOOD
I graduated and now I am officially Docta Graham! I have a Doctor of Education (EdD) Educational Leadership (Higher Education focus) degree My dissertation focused on retaining Black faculty
I won the Tyll van Geel Leadership award from Warner Graduate School of Education at University of Rochester for my work in the Educational Leadership doctoral program
I won the The Seven Pearls of Excellence in Education Award from Theta Omega Sigma Alumnae Chapter of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc
In March, I was promoted to the rank of Full Professor at my place of employment, effective September 1 This is significant because only 34% of all professors are Black women Also, Black women faculty are only 2% of all tenured professors It took me 15 years from start to finish (five years is the stay time in each ranking) This is no small feat
THE BAD AND UGLY
A few months after graduating, I was diagnosed with breast cancer I am so grateful that it was caught in the earliest stage (Stage 0) I am blessed to have had a team of wonderful practitioners who guided me through surgery and radiation I am now taking tamoxifen for the next 5 - 10 years to (hopefully) prevent a recurrence Stay tuned for projects related to Black women and breast cancer awareness, education, and prevention.
But wait…there’s more: on the day of diagnosis, I also tore my Achilles. It took two months to get an appointment (hello, pandemic scheduling). So I had to hobble from appointment to appointment until I was in a walking boot. Hurray for the kind folks at Pluta: they wheeled me to and from my radiation appointments. While my whole house was supportive, I have to give a special shout out to my youngest son, Kristian, because he was my radiation buddy. My husband had just started a new job on the day radiation began and my daughter had to work. His schedule allowed him to attend all of my sessions (15) with me. I would have done it without him but I’m glad I didn’t have to.
Just last month, I had the idea to create an award for Black educators. The Black Educators Matter: Rising Star Award honors innovative Black educators in our area who challenge the status quo to create dynamic academic experiences for their students, inside and outside of the classroom. We seek to amplify the work of educators who showcase passion for the profession. Each awardee receives $500 to use as they desire, in celebration of their commitment to cultivating safe spaces that foster critical inquiry, creative thinking, and whole person development.
Our first awardee is Mx Ayana McCuller (they/them) who teaches English at Hillside Celebrating Black educators is very important to me Please let me know if you want to help with future awards
I have so much to catch you up on, but I want you to know that I am in a much better emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual space than I was this time last year Even though I knew I wouldn’t die from the type of cancer I had, my life has become significantly more challenging due to the diagnosis and heel injury However, I am committed to living a life of my own choices and at the pace that works best for me That works best for my healing / 03
I jumped into action mode How do I fix this? How do I ensure a healthier pregnancy and baby boy? I sketched out a rough plan, including the advice of my partner and medical team Bedrest Weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests More water More vitamins Healthier snacks Lying on my left side only Napping for 3+ hours per day I was convinced I just had to find the right plan and everything would be fine
AsIwritethis,I’mlyinginahospitalbed.Mostofmy bodyisswollen,myfeetlookliketwoballoonanimals, andmybloodpressureisprobablyalittletoohigh I’m recoveringfromanemergencyc-sectionafteralong, tough,complicatedpregnancythattransformedthe verywayIseehealing
IfirstlearnedIwaspregnantinFebruaryof2023.By May,mypartnerandIlearnedthatIhadaveryrare conditioncalledvelamentouscordinsertion Byall estimates,itonlyaffects1percentofpregnancies The umbilicalcord,normallyattachedtothecenterofthe placenta,inourcase,wasattachedattheveryend,and notevenintotheplacentaitself,butintothe membranearoundit.
First,mydoctorassuredmeitwouldn’tmatter Lotsof babieswiththisconditionstillgetwhattheyneedbutI was20weekspregnantandalreadymeasuringmuch toosmall.Then,twodaysbeforemy30thbirthday,my partnerandIweretoldthepregnancywasofficially high-riskandourliveschangedovernight
That’s the funny thing about healing, huh? If you’re not careful, there’s a step you can get stuck on I call it the “but I did everything right” step and it’s the one that comes right before true healing. It’s the step where most of the work you did was out of trying to control for a certain outcome, not true healing. It’s not a bad step but when faced with the uncertainties that the universe throws at you, it always breaks down because it’s not authentic healing. The second something goes wrong, your plan is thrown back at you and you face a pain so deep that you realize maybe I haven’t healed at all Maybe I was just trying to prevent the next pain point
Most pregnant people who get a c-section go home after just a couple days but I’m facing my fifth day in the hospital And I just found myself on the “but I did everything right” step telling myself that if I just slow down, drink more water, rest more I can go home but I think true healing isn’t going to be feeling good enough to go home It’s accepting that I have little control; something this pregnancy has been trying to show me all along I was aiming for a perfect pregnancy but healing doesn’t require a perfect you Instead, it helps shape your best you– as long as you let it
More about the author: Tianna Mañón is the owner of Mañón Media, a full-service PR firm that focuses on spreading awareness about important issues, and getting ignored stories into the media When she’s not working with major newsroom editors and top entrepreneurs, Tianna enjoys golfing, skincare and reading.
Reading (these are just a few of the books that I have read this year so far; all are linked in my bookshop):
Black Joy: Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Restoration by Tracey Michae'l Lewis-Giggetts
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
Strong Black Woman: How a Myth Endangers the Physical and Mental Health of Black Women by Marita
GoldenEating: This month I have been focusing on making sure I eat breakfast. My favorite things to make for a quick and nutritious (and tasty) breakfast are: steel cut oats with bananas, black berries, and raspberries. I typically pair that with avocado toast topped with pico de gallo and a soft fried egg. YUM!!
Doing: I have been writing a lot for my one woman show and I have been RESTING! I’m focused on my healing so I really have been trying to pace myself. Oh! I did perform as the featured poet for Just Poets “The ‘LITTLE’ Poetry Series” back in June. Here is a snippet of me poeting after a long hiatus from performing.
Photographs by Dr Tokeya C Graham
1.What do you do as a creative outlet?
My creative expression comes out in the way I style myself From my nails to my hair and makeup, my clothing, and tattoos I love all things colorful; I’ve had every single color of hair Even if I don’t have something bright and colorful on, I try to at least have some funky piece to wear
2.What is your self-care journey?
I try to take each moment as it comes Our emotions come and they go and the levels of what I need depend on the day When I’ve had a long day, I may need more time to myself to wind down Taking those moments to rest, listen to an audiobook, or even do nothing, that’s my self-care There are other days when I’m able to take more time to take in and appreciate what’s around me On those days my self-care looks different
3.What does healing mean to you?
Healing happens day by day. You won’t magically wake up and feel better and the sun will be shining and the birds singing. But over time it will be easier; little by little you will notice the changes.
4.What is one goal you have for yourself about self-care.
When it comes to self-care, I think we’ve got this image of what it means to participate in the act of caring for one’s self. Buying ourselves expensive things or taking off work and staying in bed all day. Those are examples of self-care but that isn’t the only way to do it. I think my goal is to focus on the little ways I can care for myself. Making sure that I go to bed on time so I can rest well is self-care Making sure I eat breakfast and lunch so I’m not grumpy and hungry is self-care Those are the things I want to focus on
5.How would you describe yourself in one sentence? Still loading
6.What is something interesting about you?
I LOVE building Lego sets. I think that might catch people off guard. I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to get the new Lego insect set and they were surprised at how much I sounded like I enjoyed doing them And I do; I like making sure that I have time to do things that are mindless and fun It's a part of my self-care routine
7.What are you listening to this month?
I’ve been holding myself true to a goal I set at the beginning of the year I'll be honest and say that I was slacking off for a bit, but now I’m back to listening to full albums It might sound strange, but I get into the habit of listening to a few songs, getting distracted, and then going back to my trusted liked songs playlist Lately, I’ve been listening to Noname’s Sundial The thirty-oneminute and fifty-four-second album is Noname’s first drop in five years As a devoted fan, I’ve been waiting closely for a full-length album Thankfully, I wasn’t disappointed with her work. In her eleven songs, she examines Black American culture.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month
Second Sunday Stories & Stuff @ Avenue Blackbox Theatre 2 p m 15
Soulstainable Living Radio 6:00 a m on Jazz90 1 WGMC (weekly) www jazz901 org
Self-care is always important What have you done for YOU lately?
On National Oatmeal Day, be creative with this healthy food Try different add-ins Enjoy!
On Child Health Day, spend some time with a special youngster in your life
Have you created a plan for this week? Make sure you include REST!
Soulstainable Living Radio 5:00 p m on WAYO LP (weekly) www wayofm org
Order a copy of Soulstainable Living Presents the Black Healing Project
This is a favorite of mine: National Checklist Day Get those to-do lists done
Today is a good day to take a walk Pay attention to the sights around you
World Mental Health Day is a good reminder to check on your people And yourself!
On this Black Poetry Day, read a poem by your favorite Black poet
Tuesday 3 10 17 24 31
Before you go to bed, make a gratitude list It’s important for your heart and mind
Review your month. What are your goals for next month? Celebrate your wins
Random Acts of Poetry Day Write a poem today that celebrates YOU!
Today is National Coming Out Day. Support our LGBTQ+ villagers Love is LOVE!
Follow (my son) Earth2Dot on Apple Music
Wednesday 4 11 18 25
On National I Care About You Day, be sure to let others know that you care about them
National Do Something Nice Day! Commit to doing something nice for someone else
Have you read any good books lately? Make sure you have signed up for a library card
Are you finding ways to connect with the people you love and who love you back? Be sure to do so We need each other
Thursday 5 12 19 26
How are you centering JOY in your life?
I Pink TF NOT one woman show @ Avenue Blackbox Theatre 7 p m
Today is a good day to move your body Do whatever you are able to Everything helps
Today is National Mammography Day, so please schedule your mammogram!
Friday 6 13 20 27
Ok, it’s time for a dance break Make sure to turn the music up and DANCE!
Are you following me in all the places Check out my Linktree and share! Thank you!
Love is in the air!! On Sweetest Day, celebrate your nearest and dearest loved ones
Take five minutes to sit still Practice your breathing Clear your mind Repeat
2023 Monday 2 9 16 23 30
Saturday 7 14 21 28 / 07
As you already read, I have been focused on healing Stay tuned for details on how you can purchase the Soulstainable Living Presents the Black Healing Project workbook which will be available for purchase in October
October also kicks off Breast Cancer
Awareness month In honor of this and my own healing journey, I will be performing a one woman show, I Pink TF NOT
I Pink TF NOT is an evening of art, poetry, prose, music, and comedy about one Black woman’s breast cancer diagnosis and how she avoided becoming a supervillain This event will be a FUNdraiser for The Avenue Blackbox Theatre, where the event will be held We will also be hosting some giveaways throughout October
I will take over the Avenue the first weekend of October from Friday 10/6 - Sunday 10/8
T H E B L A C K H E A L I N G P R O J E C T
"We love Black people who love Black people. We are because we are."Flyer designed by Kristian Graham, 2K Media and Marketing
In June of this year, one of my closest friends/colleagues, Rochelle, passed away after a battle with cancer. She was the first friend that I made at MCC. We hit it off immediately. We started our faculty careers together. We fell in love with each other’s families We were co-conspirators in many things We kept each other’s secrets Rochelle was fiercely passionate about her students and her family She was an amazing educator, a brilliant scholar, and a wonderful friend I had the opportunity to be a featured speaker at her funeral, and here is a poem I wrote to honor her life
She was not yet done with living
In spite of every obstacle
She hurdled forward
Gold disguised as silver
A crown that webbed around and
Down her back woven through
Rods of steel
Her grace only second to her beauty
She was not yet done with living
Despite every arrow thrown
Her sideways stride
Standing on shoulders
And backs of her sheroes
She rose
She was not yet done with living
Despite all that she carried
Her smile a comfort
Her fire a light
Her self a beacon in the dark
Her passion a war cry
Her cry a call
She was called
She was not yet done with living
Yet this life was done with her
