Soulstainable Living: The Magazine Sep-Oct 2023

Soulstainable Living: The Magazine

Sept./Oct.2023 Sept./Oct. 2023

Let's Heal Together.

Cover art is by Tokeya C. Graham "cancer."

CONTENTS

Table of

O2.

Monthly Musings

O3.

What’s New?

04.

A Word From...

05.

What I Am...

06.

Living Soulstainably

07.

Editor in Chief: Tokeya C. Graham

Let's Heal Together

08.

The Black Healing Project Spotlight Design Editor: Toya Mañón

09.

In Memory Of...

MONTHLY MUSINGS Greetings, Beautiful People: Welcome to September and Soulstainable Living! It’s been a long time since the last time (but life…) and I’m so happy to be back in the mix. This month is extra special. It’s the relaunch of Soulstainable Living Magazine and the design is SO DOPE! It’s a collaboration between me and my friend/colleague: Dr. Toya Mañón. We have partnered together to present my vision and introduce a new project that I have been working on for almost four years (see above about life): Soulstainable Living Presents The Black Healing Project (BHP).

Listen, this new project is my heart’s work. It is a representation of the path to healing that I’m currently on and will be on for the rest of my life. I know what the people say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But guess what: sometimes you just can’t. Sometimes, you just have to take the lemons. Sometimes, you make lemonade. Or lemon cookies. Or let the lemons rot. Because life be life-ing, your actions might vary from moment to moment (no judgment).

/ 02

WHAT’S NEW? What’s new since the last magazine dropped in 2021? (Yes, it’s really been that long!)

THE GOOD

I graduated and now I am officially Docta Graham! I have a Doctor of Education (EdD) Educational Leadership (Higher Education focus) degree. My dissertation focused on retaining Black faculty.

I won the Tyll van Geel Leadership award from Warner Graduate School of Education at University of Rochester for my work in the Educational Leadership doctoral program.

I won the The Seven Pearls of Excellence in Education Award from Theta Omega Sigma Alumnae Chapter of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. In March, I was promoted to the rank of Full Professor at my place of employment, effective September 1. This is significant because only 3 4% of all professors are Black women. Also, Black women faculty are only 2% of all tenured professors. It took me 15 years from start to finish (five years is the stay time in each ranking). This is no small feat.

THE BAD AND UGLY A few months after graduating, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am so grateful that it was caught in the earliest stage (Stage 0). I am blessed to have had a team of wonderful practitioners who guided me through surgery and radiation. I am now taking tamoxifen for the next 5 - 10 years to (hopefully) prevent a recurrence. Stay tuned for projects related to Black women and breast cancer awareness, education, and prevention.

But wait…there’s more: on the day of diagnosis, I also tore my Achilles. It took two months to get an appointment (hello, pandemic scheduling).

So I had to hobble from appointment to appointment until I was in a walking boot.

Hurray for the kind folks at Pluta: they wheeled me to and from my radiation appointments.

BACK TO GOOD While my whole house was supportive, I have to give a special shout out to my youngest son, Kristian, because he was my radiation buddy. My husband had just started a new job on the day radiation began and my daughter had to work.

His schedule allowed him to attend all of my sessions (15) with me. I would have done it without him but I’m glad I didn’t have to.

Just last month, I had the idea to create an award for Black educators. The Black Educators Matter: Rising Star Award honors innovative Black educators in our area who challenge the status quo to create dynamic academic experiences for their students, inside and outside of the classroom. We seek to amplify the work of educators who showcase passion for the profession. Each awardee receives $500 to use as they desire, in celebration of their commitment to cultivating safe spaces that foster critical inquiry, creative thinking, and whole person development.

Our first awardee is Mx. Ayana McCuller (they/them) who teaches English at Hillside.

Celebrating Black educators is very important to me. Please let me know if you want to help with future awards.

FINAL THOUGHTS I have so much to catch you up on, but I want you to know that I am in a much better emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual space than I was this time last year. Even though I knew I wouldn’t die from the type of cancer I had, my life has become significantly more challenging due to the diagnosis and heel injury. However, I am committed to living a life of my own choices and at the pace that works best for me. That works best for my healing.

/ 03

A WORD FROM TIANNA MAÑÓN

I jumped into action mode. How do I fix this? How do I ensure a healthier pregnancy and baby boy? I sketched out a rough plan, including the advice of my partner and medical team. Bedrest. Weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests. More water. More vitamins. Healthier snacks. Lying on my left side only. Napping for 3+ hours per day. I was convinced I just had to find the right plan and everything would be fine

As I write this, I’m lying in a hospital bed. Most of my body is swollen, my feet look like two balloon animals, and my blood pressure is probably a little too high. I’m recovering from an emergency c-section after a long, tough, complicated pregnancy that transformed the very way I see healing.

I first learned I was pregnant in February of 2023. By May, my partner and I learned that I had a very rare condition called velamentous cord insertion. By all estimates, it only affects 1 percent of pregnancies. The umbilical cord, normally attached to the center of the placenta, in our case, was attached at the very end, and not even into the placenta itself, but into the membrane around it.

First, my doctor assured me it wouldn’t matter. Lots of babies with this condition still get what they need but I was 20 weeks pregnant and already measuring much too small. Then, two days before my 30th birthday, my partner and I were told the pregnancy was officially high-risk and our lives changed overnight. .

That’s the funny thing about healing, huh? If you’re not careful, there’s a step you can get stuck on. I call it the “but I did everything right” step and it’s the one that comes right before true healing. It’s the step where most of the work you did was out of trying to control for a certain outcome, not true healing. It’s not a bad step but when faced with the uncertainties that the universe throws at you, it always breaks down because it’s not authentic healing. The second something goes wrong, your plan is thrown back at you and you face a pain so deep that you realize maybe I haven’t healed at all.

Maybe I was just trying to prevent the next pain point.

Most pregnant people who get a c-section go home after just a couple days but I’m facing my fifth day in the hospital. And I just found myself on the “but I did everything right” step telling myself that if I just slow down, drink more water, rest more I can go home but I think true healing isn’t going to be feeling good enough to go home. It’s accepting that I have little control; something this pregnancy has been trying to show me all along. I was aiming for a perfect pregnancy but healing doesn’t require a perfect you. Instead, it helps shape your best you– as long as you let it.

More about the author: Tianna Mañón is the owner of Mañón Media, a full-service PR firm that focuses on spreading awareness about important issues, and getting ignored stories into the media.

When she’s not working with major newsroom editors and top entrepreneurs, Tianna enjoys golfing, skincare and reading.

/ 04

THE ULTIMATE LIST OF

WHAT I AM...

Reading (these are just a few of the books that I have read this year so far; all are linked in my bookshop): Black Joy: Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Restoration by Tracey Michae'l Lewis-Giggetts Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey Strong Black Woman: How a Myth Endangers the Physical and Mental Health of Black Women by Marita Golden

Eating: This month I have been focusing on making sure I eat breakfast. My favorite things to make for a quick and nutritious (and tasty) breakfast are: steel cut oats with bananas, black berries, and raspberries. I typically pair that with avocado toast topped with pico de gallo and a soft fried egg. YUM!!

Doing: I have been writing a lot for my one woman show and I have been RESTING! I’m focused on my healing so I really have been trying to pace myself. Oh! I did perform as the featured poet for Just Poets “The ‘LITTLE’ Poetry Series” back in June.

Here is a snippet of me poeting after a long hiatus from performing.

Photographs by Dr. Tokeya C. Graham

/ 05

LIVING SOULSTAINABLY with Keilani Graham 1.What do you do as a creative outlet?

My creative expression comes out in the way I style myself. From my nails to my hair and makeup, my clothing, and tattoos. I love all things colorful; I’ve had every single color of hair. Even if I don’t have something bright and colorful on, I try to at least have some funky piece to wear.

2.What is your self-care journey?

I try to take each moment as it comes. Our emotions come and they go and the levels of what I need depend on the day. When I’ve had a long day, I may need more time to myself to wind down.

Taking those moments to rest, listen to an audiobook, or even do nothing, that’s my self-care. There are other days when I’m able to take more time to take in and appreciate what’s around me. On those days my self-care looks different.

3.What does healing mean to you?

Healing happens day by day. You won’t magically wake up and feel better and the sun will be shining and the birds singing. But over time it will be easier; little by little you will notice the changes.

4.What is one goal you have for yourself about self-care.

When it comes to self-care, I think we’ve got this image of what it means to participate in the act of caring for one’s self. Buying ourselves expensive things or taking off work and staying in bed all day. Those are examples of self-care but that isn’t the only way to do it. I think my goal is to focus on the little ways I can care for myself.

Making sure that I go to bed on time so I can rest well is self-care. Making sure I eat breakfast and lunch so I’m not grumpy and hungry is self-care. Those are the things I want to focus on.

5.How would you describe yourself in one sentence?

Still loading…

6.What is something interesting about you?

I LOVE building Lego sets. I think that might catch people off guard. I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to get the new Lego insect set and they were surprised at how much I sounded like I enjoyed doing them. And I do; I like making sure that I have time to do things that are mindless and fun. It's a part of my self-care routine.

7.What are you listening to this month?

I’ve been holding myself true to a goal I set at the beginning of the year. I'll be honest and say that I was slacking off for a bit, but now I’m back to listening to full albums. It might sound strange, but I get into the habit of listening to a few songs, getting distracted, and then going back to my trusted liked songs playlist. Lately, I’ve been listening to Noname’s Sundial. The thirty-oneminute and fifty-four-second album is Noname’s first drop in five years. As a devoted fan, I’ve been waiting closely for a full-length album. Thankfully, I wasn’t disappointed with her work. In her eleven songs, she examines Black American culture.

/ 06

LET'S HEAL TOGETHER October Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

1 October is Breast Cancer Awareness

Wednesday

2 On Child Health Day, spend some time with a special youngster in your life.

month.

2023

Today is a good day to take a walk. Pay attention to the sights around you.

8

9

10

Second Sunday Stories & Stuff @ Avenue Blackbox Theatre 2 p.m.

Have you created a plan for this week? Make sure you include REST!

World Mental Health Day is a good reminder to check on your people.

And yourself!

15 Soulstainable Living Radio 6:00 a.m. on Jazz90.1 WGMC (weekly) www.jazz901.org

Soulstainable Living Radio 5:00 p.m. on WAYO LP (weekly) www.wayofm.org

22 Self-care is always important. What have you done for YOU lately?

29 On National Oatmeal Day, be creative with this healthy food. Try different add-ins. Enjoy!

16

23

30 This is a favorite of mine: National Checklist Day. Get those to-do lists done.

Friday

Saturday

4

5

6

7

Random Acts of Poetry Day. Write a poem today that celebrates YOU!

National Do Something Nice Day! Commit to doing something nice for someone else.

I Pink TF NOT one woman show @ Avenue Blackbox Theatre 7 p.m.

I Pink TF NOT one woman show @ Avenue Blackbox Theatre 2 p.m.

11 Today is National Coming Out Day. Support our LGBTQ+ villagers. Love is LOVE!

17 On this Black Poetry Day, read a poem by your favorite Black poet.

Order a copy of Soulstainable Living Presents the Black Healing Project.

Thursday

3

18 Follow (my son) Earth2Dot on Apple Music.

24

25

Before you go to bed, make a gratitude list. It’s important for your heart and mind.

On National I Care About You Day, be sure to let others know that you care about them.

12 Have you read any good books lately? Make sure you have signed up for a library card.

13 Today is a good day to move your body. Do whatever you are able to. Everything helps.

14 Are you following me in all the places. Check out my Linktree and share! Thank you!

19

20

21

Are you finding ways to connect with the people you love and who love you back? Be sure to do so. We need each other.

Today is National Mammography Day, so please schedule your mammogram!

Love is in the air!! On Sweetest Day, celebrate your nearest and dearest loved ones.

26 How are you centering JOY in your life?

27

28

Ok, it’s time for a dance break. Make sure to turn the music up and DANCE!

Take five minutes to sit still. Practice your breathing. Clear your mind. Repeat.

31 Review your month.

What are your goals for next month? Celebrate your wins.

/ 07

October also kicks off Breast Cancer Awareness month. In honor of this and my own healing journey, I will be performing a one woman show, I Pink TF NOT. I Pink TF NOT is an evening of art, poetry, prose, music, and comedy about one Black woman’s breast cancer diagnosis and how she avoided becoming a supervillain. This event will be a FUNdraiser for The Avenue Blackbox Theatre, where the event will be held. We will also be hosting some giveaways throughout October.

I will take over the Avenue the first weekend of October from Friday 10/6 - Sunday 10/8.

Flyer designed by Kristian Graham, 2K Media and Marketing

"We love Black people who love Black people.

We are because we are."

SPOTLIGHT / 08

THE BLACK HEALING PROJECT

As you already read, I have been focused on healing. Stay tuned for details on how you can purchase the Soulstainable Living Presents the Black Healing Project workbook which will be available for purchase in October.

IN

MEMORY

DR.

OF

ROCHELLE

WATSON

PAYNE

In June of this year, one of my closest friends/colleagues, Rochelle, passed away after a battle with cancer. She was the first friend that I made at MCC. We hit it off immediately. We started our faculty careers together.

We fell in love with each other’s families. We were co-conspirators in many things. We kept each other’s secrets. Rochelle was fiercely passionate about her students and her family. She was an amazing educator, a brilliant scholar, and a wonderful friend. I had the opportunity to be a featured speaker at her funeral, and here is a poem I wrote to honor her life.

She Was Not Yet Done

by Tokeya C. Graham

She was not yet done with living In spite of every obstacle She hurdled forward Gold disguised as silver A crown that webbed around and Down her back woven through Rods of steel Her grace only second to her beauty She was not yet done with living Despite every arrow thrown Her sideways stride Standing on shoulders And backs of her sheroes She rose.

She was not yet done with living Despite all that she carried Her smile a comfort Her fire a light Her self a beacon in the dark Her passion a war cry Her cry a call She was called She was not yet done with living Yet this life was done with her.

/ 09

Would you like to sponsor an event? Buy ad space in our next magazine? Partner on The Black Healing Project? Hire me for racial equity work, strategic planning, or curriculum planning? Reach out to tokeya@soulstainableliving.com

Before You Go: Linktree

TokeyaCGraham https://linktr.ee/TokeyaCGraham