Soulstainable Living: The Magazine December 2023

Soulstainable Living: The Magazine

Let's heal together!

December 2023

Cover art is by Tokeya C. Graham "Peace Be Like."

CONTENTS

Table of

O2.

Monthly Musings

O3.

Soulstainable Youth Healing Corner

04.

A Word From...

05.

What I Am...

06.

Living Soulstainably

08 Editor in Chief: Tokeya C. Graham

Let's Heal Together

09.

I Pink TF Not! Design Editor: Toya Mañón

12.

Before You Go

MONTHLY MUSINGS Greetings, Beautiful People: Welcome to the last part of 2023. I think about how we have been in a pandemic for the past three years and are now entering year four (I cannot believe it). Over the past few years, I have changed tremendously as a person; some of these changes have been for the betterment of myself and others. However, if I am honest, some things have changed me in ways that are not so positive. Thank goodness for a strong commitment to healing. I talk about healing a lot because it’s a constant state of being for me. Too often, we mask what we are really going through. While this is necessary in some ways, we also have to do that deep interior work that is ___________. That is why I created The Black Healing Project. The workbook will be available for orders soon. I cannot wait to walk through this healing process together. As bell hooks said, “rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”

In this month’s issue of Soulstainable Living: The Magazine, we have some more experiences in healing. We want our platform to be intergenerational, and so this month’s issue features a brilliant teenage writer. We also have words of affirmation on the rigor of healing from a community healer.

We also have included a male voice to share his self-care practices. I am honored to share photos from my one-woman show, I Pink TF Not! As part of my #BlackBreast weekend, I also sponsored a family literary event. You can watch the link of me reading Big by Vashti Harrison (the featured story). We have so much good stuff for you, so I hope you enjoy.

As we close out 2023, think of the ways that you have made good changes over the past year. It’s so easy to get caught up in what you haven’t done and make plans to do better. Of course, you have to do that. All I am asking is that you find a way to celebrate the fact that you made it through. Too many people didn’t, so we have to celebrate each day not promised. As you plan for 2024, be sure to make some space for JOY!

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SOULSTAINABLE YOUTH HEALING CORNER Teen Perspective: Signs Something May Be Wrong with Your Child

by Princess Reh (age 14) Have you ever wondered if everything is okay with your child? Maybe you are worried that something’s wrong but don’t know what it is. If you are a concerned parent or just a friend of someone and are slightly concerned, this article is for you. Even if you aren’t concerned, it’s still good to know the signs. Here are a few things you might want to keep an eye on and why:

Isolation (also known as social withdrawal): Most teens and kids, in general, will be interested in making friends and going to social gatherings.

Kids who are struggling may not want to make friends or have had trouble making friends.

However, this isn’t to be confused with introversion. Introverts still have friends but like time alone to recharge. People who isolate often have other mental health issues and find it easier to hide from the world than become a part of it.

Someone may isolate during a hard time, but if it persists, it may be time to get help. Introverts may have two to three friends, while someone dealing with isolation may only have a few online friends or just family as friends. Isolation/social withdrawal is characterized by social refusal, and anger towards others, and is a symptom of multiple mental health disorders.

Schizophrenia/Psychosis: This illness is rare but ChildMind.org shows that schizophrenia can begin in teenage years but that it is often glossed over. If someone is looking around rooms or is hypervigilant in the places they are in, this could be a sign of schizophrenia. One of the more common signs, however, is seeing things or hearing things that aren’t there, believing in odd things, and having disorganized speech. If something like this seems to be happening a lot, then it may be time to pay closer attention.

These are just two slightly less common symptoms of mental illness, but what about the known ones and how to help? The most common ones talked about are anxiety and depression. For teenagers, symptoms of depression include sadness, irritability, oversleeping or eating, and possibly self-harm.

Symptoms of anxiety include being restless, difficulty concentrating, refusal to eat and use the bathroom in public places, and general refusal to be in public spaces, even school.

Every child has different needs. What is going to help someone else may not support your kid. For some people, it may be best to ask many questions, whereas for others, that may seem annoying. You can ask them questions to understand more or do things that make them feel cared for and appreciated. If your kid does decide to tell you that they are struggling with something, it’s best to believe them and get help.

Editor’s note: please seek professional assistance to diagnose your child with any mental illness. This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical intervention.

Princess Reh is a Black American girl living in Western New York, USA. She attends school at AfriSTEAM Academy Homeschool and her parents have taught her a lot about mental health. She aspires to be a fantasy author and a zoologist/animal educator. Some of her pastimes are caring for pet chickens and other animals.

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A WORD FROM

by Ebony Johnson

When I think about healing, I envision an onion, a halfrotten, crunchy skin shedding, funky onion. Seems pretty accurate of every healing story I’ve ever heard of, including my own. Onions have layers as does this thing we call healing. We peel back those layers with every victory just to find there is MORE healing to be done. When I was asked to reflect on my healing journey, I was at first nervous about saying the right words, so I sat with it awhile and then I prayed. What I came up with is that healing is like a big ol’ stankin,’ half-rotten, crunchy shell shedding onion! I believe in being authentic, so let us cut the pleasantries and get real. HEALING freakin’ sucks. It hurts, it’s not easy, and it damn sure never ends. That’s the part folks don’t want to talk about. BUT nevertheless, if you want to BE better, you must DO better! Healing is mandatory for you to get to your greatest form and here’s the real kicker: no one is responsible for your healing but YOU! About four years ago, I decided to truly tackle my healing head on. I wrote a book about my life, Becoming A Unicorn: An Autobiographical SelfEmpowerment Reflection. Unveiling the trauma of my childhood, like really putting thoughts to paper, literally sent me into therapy. Once I started this journey it was like the universe conspired against me (really with me) to ensure I saw it through. Memories resurfaced that I had long forgotten or subconsciously buried, sprouted out of me like those tentacle things that come out of them dang onions. I peeled and ripped at every layer of sexual abuse, parental neglect, homelessness, poverty, effects of addiction, gang violence, death, physical abuse, sexual promiscuity & identity, mental health dysfunction, and every other hindering spirit, generational or otherwise. .

With every trigger there is an opportunity of growth waiting. My greatest challenge came when my mother passed away in 2021. She had been the main villain in my childhood trauma story and when she passed, although we mended our relationship years ago, I was left with my unresolved resentment that I thought was long gone. She was the main source of my pain, the pain that made me, that pain that I transformed into power. She left me asking “Who am I without my pain?” That question launched this current level of healing for me. Trying not to be mad because she’s gone and trying not to lose myself because I’m still here. Trying not to blame myself for not being there and trying to accept there was nothing I could’ve changed. Fighting this current battle while still honoring all I’ve overcome, I know that healing is like the ebbs and flow of the ocean, ceaseless. So, I vow to continue the work to ensure that no one will ever have to heal from me and so that I can help others do the same.

Ebony Johnson has served over 20 years in the Human Services field helping people in their most vulnerable states of being to stabilize their lives. She plans to continue this great work as a Certified Life Coach & Mentor. Ebony is also a travel business owner of Boss Magic Travel & Leisure and her goal through both career paths is to travel the world helping others through their healing journey. You can find Ebony on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok sharing her journey, business, and funny memes. For more information, reach out to Ebony: https://linktr.ee/BossMagic

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THE ULTIMATE LIST OF

WHAT I AM...

I am a SUPER user of the library. It is one of the greatest institutions ever created. If you live in NYS, in addition to your local libraries, you can get a New York Public Library card. These are some of the books I have read (audiobooks count as reading, too!). I borrowed all the books from the library.

Family Lore by Elizabeth Acevedo The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride Royal Holiday by Jasmine Guillory Big Girl: A Novel by Mecca Jamilah Sullivan Thicker Than Water by Kerry Washington

I’m resting. A lot. Putting on my show took a lot of me. More than I imagined. It was such a cathartic experience for me AND the audience. Reliving that time and sharing it with others drained me.

So, I have been taking things slowly and being gentle with myself. I thought my recovery time would be a few days, but it’s been more like a few weeks. And that’s okay. I am not a machine.

In this rollercoaster season, I am always mindful of being grateful for all of my blessings. Over the past season, I have tried to remember to celebrate all of my wins, little or big. One thing that I am proud of is that Soulstainable Living was awarded a Scale Up WNY grant from LISC NY. Soulstainable Living also became part of the Forbes BLK community which is “a global community of Black entrepreneurs, professionals, leaders and creators that are driving systematic change in business, culture and society.”

On Monday, November 13, I hosted Soulstainable Living Presents The (Virtual) Café with performances by nine amazing poets (in order of appearance): 1. Michael Johnson 2. Ja’Miah Smith 3. Teshondra Bradley 4. Natalie Louis 5. DeVine Write 6. Talitha-Koumi Oluwafemi 7. Dr. Lesli Myers-Small 8. Afi 9. BakariPoet Did you miss it? No worries. Enjoy the performance on YouTube.

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LIVING SOULSTAINABLY by Kristian Graham What do you do as a creative outlet?

I love to create in all mediums, but I’m most intensely passionate about the work that I do with my music. Sound means so much to me. In early 2020, I received a screening for tinnitus which ultimately led to a formal diagnosis. In those first couple of months, I spent so much time feeling scared of noise. Making the adjustment to a reality with a droning ringing has been very sobering.

Embarking on the journey of learning how to take in all my surroundings again really required me to sit in meditative thought a lot, which was super intimidating at first. I tried to pretend that it didn’t exist, or that the constant ringing that I heard wasn’t real. For the first week that I had tinnitus, I went to bed humming “alouette, gentille alouette” every single night hoping that I’d wake up and that somehow my French ear worm would’ve pushed the tinnitus out. (Clearly, I didn’t understand the science at first). However, as I went along my journey, I learned how to embrace my reality, and to accept it for what it was rather than what I wanted it to be.

trait

What is your self-care journey?

On the journey, I am learning how to appreciate and to value my wellness more.

I’ve been trying to take more time to read and to sit with my emotions.

What does healing mean to you?

My healing means everything to me. I owe it to myself to be well and to enjoy all that I can in life. I’m always on the constant journey of understanding who I am and how to properly honor myself.

One goal you have for yourself about self-care.

I definitely have to get more sleep. It’s such an important pillar of our existence, we spend so much of our life asleep! I definitely need to sleep more than I do. I always liked the concept of being early to bed and early to rise, but I also like the nighttime too much.

Self-Por

If you had to describe yourself in one sentence...

Funny guy trying to make a way!

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Something interesting about you is...

I actually love silence. The stillness brings me a lot of solace. On the other hand, I started making ambient music in late 2020 and I haven’t stopped since.

Sort of a running motif throughout a lot of my music is a constant tone.

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4. I’v od a lo teps fr Tim o t e be m e. It l a tely my en w ’s be en n atch becau s ice to re ing Adv e I just entu min isce re !

It started off as a mixing accident. At first, I couldn’t tell that one of my synths had recorded a single note throughout the first minute of the song. I guess it sort of became kind of like my auditory signature. Now I do it as sort of an homage to myself, an inside joke that nobody else can hear but me. soil (2

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Overall, I have learned that…

Tinnitus doesn’t have to be permanent. I remain optimistic that in the future my full hearing will return, but I’m also learning how to work with what I have, and I’m pretty happy with that.

Kristian Graham is a philosophical creative who uses art and music as his mediums. He is inspired by the world around him and commits to making it a better place through artful action. You can find his music on all streaming platforms under Earth2Dot. All cover art is designed by Kristian.

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202 World AIDS Day #RockTheRibbon

Send holiday, friendship, and love cards to your people.

International Day of Persons with Disabilities

Today is a great day to take a walk and enjoy nature.

Check out my Make sure you Hanukkah (through Before the year Today is a great day Linktree and share! have your holiday 12/15). ends, remove to practice some Thank you!

Watch “A Puppy for clutter from your self-care.

What will pajamas and socks.

Hanukkah.” life in all areas. you do?

International Human Rights Day: Dignity, Freedom, and Justice for All

Soulstainable Living Radio 5:00 p.m. on WAYO LP (weekly) www.wayofm.org

Order a copy of International Soulstainable Tea Day is a good Living Presents the day to brew up a Black Healing special blend.

Soulstainable Living Radio 6:00 a.m. on Jazz90.1 WGMC (weekly) www.jazz901.org

Project.

National Christmas Movie Marathon Day. Perfect for a snowy day!

3

This is your Make a list of at monthly reminder least three things to cultivate and you are grateful celebrate JOY! for.

Bake Cookies Day Have you had a Follow my son, Winter Solstice Today is a good day Are you making Share a favorite chance to volunteer Kristian aka Celebrate the to move your body time to find your recipe with friends this month? Find a Earth2Dot, on Apple traditions around in whatever way breath? Practice and family. way to help your Music. He’s also a the world or you are able to. breathing to community. gifted artist. create new ones. center yourself.

Find tools to deal with seasonal affective disorder.

Learn how Christmas is celebrated worldwide.

Kwanzaa Day 6 Kuumba: Creativity

Kwanzaa Day 7 Imani: Faith

Kwanzaa Day 1 Umoja: Unity Honor each principle daily.

Kwanzaa Day 2 Kujichagulia: Self-Determination

Kwanzaa Day 3 Ujima: Collective Work and Responsibility

Kwanzaa Day 4 Ujamaa: Cooperative Economics

Kwanzaa Day 5 Nia: Purpose

January 1

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I Pink TF Not! During the first full weekend in October, to kick off Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I had the opportunity to be an Artist in Residence at The Avenue Black Box Theatre.

On Friday, October 6 and Saturday, October 7, I performed I Pink TF Not!, my creative testimony about the past year of my life since my breast cancer diagnosis. I won’t say too much about the show because I plan to share it again sometime next year. BUT what I will say is that it was an AMAZING experience for me as a writer, a performer, a creative, and a survivor. My sister, Reenah Golden, Founder/Artistic Director, served as director, set designer, and technical designer for the show. Under her skillful direction, my experience came alive in ways that I am still thinking about. I am forever grateful for and humbled by her talents. THANK YOU! As always, I have to thank my husband, Kevin, for his support and videographer skills. He is my chauffeur, thought partner, and encourager. I also have to thank our two youngest (adult) children: Keilani and Kristian for their expert-level stage management and technical skills. They executed Reenah’s lighting direction and vision impeccably. They are always down for my shenanigans and projects. I appreciate their consistent support and their gifts.

/ 09

I also have to thank my other sis, Dr. Latoya Mañón, for facilitating the opening night talk back. Her energy and smoothness were top notch. Lu Highsmith and Sunni Heston are another set of sisters that I have to thank for their prayers, which became part of the show. Your voiceovers added to the rich tapestry of the show. Also, thank you to my DivaMentor, Dr. Arlette Miller Smith, for providing some set materials that added a special touch.

Last, but not least, thank you to everyone who bought a ticket to attend or donated a ticket to share: thank you. All proceeds of the show were donated to the Avenue as part of their 5th season fundraising campaign. If you were able to attend, your energy was surely appreciated in the space. I am forever grateful.

Enjoy these pictures of what remains a beautifully blessed event. Thank you so very much for your prayers, your love, and your consistency.

THANK YOU!!

Note about photo credit: there are too many photos, and I don’t have the names of everyone who shared photos.

Thank you!

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Before You Go: Linktree

TokeyaCGraham https://linktr.ee/Toke yaCGraham

Would you like to sponsor an event? Buy ad space in our next magazine? Partner on The Black Healing Project? Hire me for racial equity work, strategic planning, or curriculum planning? Reach out to tokeya@soulstainableliving.com