Volume 6 - Issue 4 June 2010
Wo m a n ’s M a g a z i n e
In This Issue:
~ Shutterbuggerz Photos ~ New Feature - The Male Box ~ She’s A Bridesmaid For A Day ~ Monthly Features
Free~Take One For You
And Take One To A Friend
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essage M by Judy Smith
Our April-
Winners
from the
Ladies, it is our turn to demonstrate our love for our man this month. Now I hope you don’t just wait for one day, like Father’s Day to do this but let’s not let this opportunity pass us by. I know… but forget about how terrible he did for mothers day. This is not pay back time. We all know you did not want that set of pots or that weed eater but let’s not forget that they can’t help it. Let’s be a shining example and make them feel really guilty because we are going to do it right! Are you with me? Most of you probably won’t have it as easy as I will. My husband is so wonderful. In fact, his nick name is Mr. wonderful. He gave himself this name not too long after we were married and reminds me of it quite often.
Pro Winner: Wiseman Photography
Last year me and the kids went together and bought him the new NASCAR Hall of Fame building. Okay…so it wasn’t the whole building…okay, it was just one brick! But you would have thought it was the whole building the way he reacted and loved it. He was thrilled and we were thrilled that he was thrilled. So this year, he has “hinted” that he wants tickets to go see “his brick”. He does want to see the other stuff inside but I am sure he will be shining that brick. See how easy we have it this year. Seriously, men are great. My man is great. We have a new contributing writer that I think you are really going to enjoy. Yes, it is a man and the column is titled “The MaleBox”. You will really want to read it and maybe get your man to read it as well. It will have some amazing insights for all of us to learn from. I almost forgot to tell you one very important thing! My husband did tell me he wanted me to go with him to visit the NASCAR Hall of Fame and that it would probably take the WHOLE day for us to see and read everything. Wasn’t that so wonderful of him? If I am lucky, he might even let me buy him dinner! Happy Fathers Day to all the “Mr. Wonderful’s” out there.
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Amateur Winner: Tiffany Bigley
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pg 4 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Sophie
Woman’s Magazine
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s t n e t n o C
Message From The Heart..........................................................................................pg 3 Twinkies & Root Beer...............................................................................................pg 6 Mandy’s Misadventures............................................................................................pg 7 Unlikely Mentors: Reaching Your Full Potential.....................................................pg 8 And God Created Woman.......................................................................................pg 11 A Father’s Love......................................................................................................pg 12 The Fly Lady...........................................................................................................pg 13 Ask The Coach: May I Help You?..........................................................................pg 14 Nicole Greer: What Does A Sophisticated Woman Say?........................................pg 17 Susan Guest: 8 Ways to Lighten Your Home For Summer.....................................pg 18 The Male Box.........................................................................................................pg 20 Girlfriends In God...................................................................................................pg 22 Casey Winebarger: Protecting Your Most Precious Belongings.............................pg 24 Truth & Beauty: by Teresa Pope.............................................................................pg 25 The Front Porch......................................................................................................pg 27 The Sophie Shopper................................................................................................pg 28 She’s A Bridesmaid For A Day...............................................................................pg 30 Dinner Diva............................................................................................................pg 31 Shutterbuggerz Feature...........................................................................................pg 32
shutterbuggerz pg32 Thanks To Our Distributors
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Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 5
Be The Right Kind Of Woman The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. -- Spoken by Margaret Nadauld, Young Women General President. Nov 2000
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pg 6 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Twinkies and Root Beer A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a sixpack of Root Beer and he started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at the boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever. When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy? “He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? God’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!” Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he W W
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asked,” Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?” He replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.” However, before his son responded, he added,” You know, he’s much younger than I expected.” Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally! ~author unknown~
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’s y d an
M
Misadventures by Mandy Thomas
Sister Squabbles
I
thought I had more time, and, to be quite honest, I feel a bit lied to. Not that anyone told me that, it was just an assumption on my part, and don’t you get started on all that “you know what assuming does” stuff. And yes, I know that parenting and all of its glories cannot be predicted and there is no formula to it, but still. My issue is this: sibling rivalry. When should a person expect it to begin? Two weeks ago, my answer would have been “around preschool,” but, as it turns out, I was wrong. So horribly wrong. It all started out innocently enough, just a regular day of playing together; no big deal. I was washing some dishes at the sink, and
end of the matter altogether, I mean, what is Addison going to do? She’s only two feet tall and can hardly walk straight. Case solved, right? I should know better than to think things like that. Addison let out what can only be amounted to as a war cry, and dove straight for the piano keys again. “Addison,” Savannah said, fed up, “you’re UGLY!” And that two foot baby took her pudgy little hand and slapped my four year old right in her face. Now, admittedly, I should have stepped in here, but what happened next happened so quickly that I hardly had time to get over the shock of Savannah being - well, being back handed. No sooner than I moved to go and remove Addison from the situation, then she began to head butt Savannah, who in turn dove on top of Addison. From there it disintegrated, into kind of a cartoonish cat fight, in which there’s a big cloud with only arms and legs visible. And of course, the banshee screaming. Five minutes later I put them both in time out (Addison in her crib and Savannah on her bed), and was hiding in the hallway doing what I thought was most appropriate. Which was laughing my head off. It seemed completely ludicrous to me that I had just split up a fight between a four year old and a one year old, and had to put them both in time out. When I was finally able to stop laughing, I heard another sound coming from the room that held my little convicts. They were laughing, too. So then, what was the point of all that fighting?
2010 Birthday Party Special! Have a Birthday Party for 8 Children for only watching the girls play. Savannah was tinkering around on a play piano that her Nana had gotten her when she was about one year old, which had been passed down to Addison because Savannah was “too big” for it. Addison herself was playing with a stuffed animal in the floor and seemingly oblivious to anything her sister was doing. Savannah had found a little tune she liked, and was puttering on the keys when Addison decided that she, too would like to have a go at it. “No,” Savannah said, and moved Addison gently away. Addison would not be deterred; she reached back for the piano. “NO,” Savannah said again, and positioned her body so that Addison could not reach the keys. Of course, I thought that would be the
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pg 8 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: “Why I almost stopped writing for Sophie Magazine”
“The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the wildest dreams. We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century.” —Sidney Madwed Your Health Is Important To Your Family and To Us When looking for a pharmacy, choose one that puts your family’s health needs and concerns first. At your local Medicap Pharmacy® store, we do this by taking the time to review your medications and answer any questions you have. We also offer these useful services: •
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In my personal effort to reach my own potential, I find myself
regularly re-evaluating my priorities and my time spent on various business and ministry ventures. Simply put, I want to invest my limited time, energy and resources in the most high impact areas. It has become much easier to say “NO” to distractions and efforts that seem to be yielding a minimal harvest. Recently, I became quite discouraged and considered ‘throwing in the towel’ on my monthly Sophie column. Back in early 2008, I had launched “Ask the Coach”, a column extending an open invitation for readers to ask me questions they would like to see addressed by a Life Coach… no requests came! Then I shifted to my “Unlikely Mentor” column, again encouraging readers to submit ideas for future stories… still no response. Around the first of this year, I was ‘venting’ to a friend who has over 10 years in the magazine publishing industry. She reminded me that print media is mostly passive, meaning that most readers never take the time to reply or to dialogue with writers. Then she challenged me to hold out my vision for this column’s INVISIBLE IMPACT! Could it be that more people were noticing, and actually reading my reflections on life and life coaching? More importantly, could it be that women (and even men) were being quietly impacted and inspired? I decided to take her challenge, dig deep and hang in there. I began by revisiting my mission for this column and found that I still possessed a deep passion to encourage each of you as you seek to REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL. Standing on the edge of ‘quitting’ due to discouragement, I was reawakened to the power of encouraging you month by month. Soon thereafter, I received just the encouragement I needed… within less than two weeks, I had five interactions with individuals who thanked me for these articles. Two of the five were interested in having me partner with key individuals in their lives as a Life Coach. The initial wave of hearing from a few of you fueled my own excitement. Today, much of that energy and passionate purpose is being poured out to my new clients… a ripple effect that began with YOU! It is my hope today that this TURNING POINT in my commitment to Sophie may actually challenge you in your own LIFE TURNING POINTS. TURNING POINT #1: Stop and reconsider the Power of Encouragement! Without your feedback, I had no way to know the potential or the impact of this column. A few of you encouraged me and
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 9
now I am passing that along. We are partnering in a ripple effect that has no limits!!! TURNING POINT #2: Never underestimate YOUR Power to Encourage. Most of us are so busy that we end up speeding through our days with little consideration of how those around us are being affected by our presence. When was the last time that someone did something to encourage you? Have you stopped and taken time out of your busy day to pass that encouragement along? MY PRACTICAL CHALLENGE to you is to drop a note to the columnist in this magazine who most encourages/entertains/inspires you. Then look beyond our ‘Sophie Family’ and ask yourself whose Life Turning Point might be sparked by your unique and personal words or acts of encouragement. Make a call, write a card, give a healing hug. Just last week, I ran to my new bank and headed through the drive up window. The kind lady on the other side of the window said, “Don’t you write for Sophie Magazine?” I smiled and made a mental note to thank my friend who told me to not give up. I promise to keep the encouragement coming your way… and you don’t even have to respond. But if you do, I will keep the ripple effect alive and well as I pass your kindness along to those in need of hope! *** Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach,Speaker and Author serving clients nationally and internationally. She would love to offer you a FREE CONSULTATION on how her services could benefit you and your team/organization/group. She is also offering GROUP COACHING for small groups who desire to build extreme success and significance strategies into their daily lives ON A BUDGET! Contact Kim directly to create a coaching partnership today: PHONE: 828 327 6702, EMAIL: kimfletchercompass@gmail.com, WEB: lifecompassinternational.org.
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And God Created Woman By the time God created woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and asked, “Why are you spending so much time on this creation?” The Lord answered, “Have you seen the requirements sheet for her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, have a lap that can hold two children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.” The angel was astounded at the requirements for this creation. “Six pairs of hands! No way!” said the angel. The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!” “And that’s just on the standard model?” the angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement. “Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through a closed door as she asks her children what they are doing, even though she already knows.” “Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no-one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.” The angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day, wait until tomorrow to finish.” “But I can’t!” The Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick, AND can feed a large family on a pound of mince, and can even persuade a nine year old boy to have a shower.” The angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.” “She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.” “Will she be able to think?”, asked the angel. The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.” The angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops! It looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.” “That’s not a leak,” the Lord objected. “That’s a tear!” “What’s the tear for?” the angel asked. The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.” The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for women are truly amazing.”
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 11
Write That Will By Lisa Forte State Farm® agent You’ve worked hard to accumulate valuable assets over the years. How do you plan to distribute this property after your death? It’s important to have a will, regardless of the value of your possessions. This written document instructs how you want assets that pass via your will (money, property and other assets) to be distributed after your death. If you die without a will, your probate assets will be divided according to state law. Here are some tips for preparing a will: •Have an attorney draft your will. If you draft your own will, make sure it complies with state law or it could be invalid. •Name an executor, whose role is to handle all administrative aspects of the will, including collecting assets, paying all debts and taxes and distributing your estate, according to your wishes. •List personal property such as artwork, collectibles, jewelry and other personal property that you want to go to specific individuals. Be clear about how you want your assets distributed. •Do not include funeral preferences in your will because it may not be read until several weeks after your death. •Review your will every few years and have your attorney make changes as appropriate. A little advanced preparation will help ensure that your final wishes are handled the way you planned them to be.
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pg 12 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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A Father’s Love This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, this father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn’t want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in here. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he’d get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a “walk-on.” Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game. It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, “My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?” The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, “Take the rest of the week off, son. And don’t even plan to come back to the game on Saturday.” Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. “Coach, please let me play. I’ve just got to play today,” said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. “All right,” he said. “You can go in.” Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before is doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you’ve never heard! Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, “Kid, I can’t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?” He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?” The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, “Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!” --Author Unknown
Do you ever feel like you are about to explode? You know that antsy feeling when your skin is prickly or you break out in a red rash on your chest. It is almost as if you feel the need to run or scream but you hold it back. The minute this feeling hits us our face gets hot, our ears turn red and our body tenses up. What is really going on? Someone has said something or done something and we don’t know how to handle our reaction to it in an effective way to keep us from internalizing our feelings and hurting ourselves. I believe with all my heart that this is a learned behavior by women. We have been taught to not make waves, to be the peace maker and stay calm. But in our all or nothing way of thinking we can go too far. Men react differently to stressful triggers. At least the good men I know do. They take their stress out on an inanimate object. Did you see what I said? “Take their stress OUT!” When that flash of adrenaline hits; that is the reason we get hot and antsy. It is because adrenaline has no place to go, we are holding it inside. Adrenaline release when we are scared is a natural body function. That “fight or flight” response has saved lives. When YOU stuff those feelings the only person who gets hurt is YOU! You don’t think you are hurting anyone is the sad part. You think you are preserving the peace. This makes me want to cry. We think as long as the peace is around us that life is good. The only problem is the battle is going on inside of you. This causes your heart to race, your blood pressure to go up and become anxious; all because we didn’t love ourselves enough to deal with the situation. I am not telling you to explode. We have to learn constructive ways of processing the information that has lit the fire under us. We are going to build a triage sheet for our Control Journal. Your first assignment is to write down how your body reacts to the stressor. Then what are some effective ways for you to release the pressure that is building so that you don’t obsess about it. I like to write about it. I look at everything as a teaching moment. What can I learn from this and what can I teach you about how I reacted. Other people may want to draw or write music. Some of us go for a fast walk or a swim, put in a workout video or clean house like a mad woman. I also like to get in a bathtub to process what my feelings are. Once I know them I can write them down. This keeps me from blowing up. My bathtub is my meditation place. Another thing I like to do is look at the worst case scenario but in a calm fashion. Think through everything and soon the worst thing that can happen can turn into the best thing that can happen. This is hard for you to do by yourself in the beginning. When the adrenaline is pumping our minds are clouded by the steam coming from our ears. This is when it is good to take the pan off of the flame by walking away from the situation toward someone who will listen. For me, I call Tom and say these very simple words, “I need to vent!” He knows that this is his queue to listen so he puts on his headphones. He is really good about not wanting to fix things. He listens and when I finish letting off the steam he will ask me if I feel better. I always do and then we discuss what is going on. It is always good to have a calm head to help you figure out things. Open up your mouth and let some steam off by talking to someone who will listen. When you feel yourself getting into a TIZZY, I want you to turn down the fire and use your new ways of dealing with the stress. With this knowledge of yourself, you can begin to put into practice these tools to help you let off steam without having a stroke. I learned how to do this and you can too! We don’t have to be perfect anymore. {{{HUGS}}} I think you will find many benefits from learning how to process this adrenaline. I can name two right now, You will have fewer accidents and you will not be sick all the time. Finally Loving Yourself starts by understanding what is happening when it happens and taking actions to prevent you from abusing yourself again. FlyLady
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 13
Are You
Scared To Let Off
STEAM? by The FlyLady Marla Cilley
pg 14/ June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
May I Help You? by Jody Williams
Why is it that people have trouble accepting help from others? Recently I took my cub-scout troop to Hardees for a community service day. We offered to carry people’s tray, bring condiments and napkins to their tables, and pick up trash. We positioned the boys near the register and after people placed their order, the boys would ask if they could assist them. At least 1/3 of the time, the person would refuse and walk away without saying thank you or anything else to the kids. I honestly didn’t anticipate that happening and had to pull the group together to keep some of the boys from getting their feelings hurt. I explained that some people just aren’t comfortable receiving help. There were plenty of others who accepted the offer and complemented the boys on their community involvement and many gave an unexpected tip to the boys who helped them. However the ones who refused help and even acted insulted by the offer, stuck in my mind. Then a couple of days later a second incident took place that prompted me to focus this article on accepting help. I was at the gym and a lady using two canes to walk was heading for the exit gate. I got up to open it for her but she pushed her way through before I could get there. So I said, “Let me get the door for you.” She stuck out one of her canes to block me and said. “No thanks I can do it myself,” which she attempted to do with both canes and her gym bag. I stood in amazement at how someone who obviously needed help refused to allow someone to assist them. I enjoy helping people. It gives me pleasure to see others achieve their goals and dreams and that is one of the main reasons I became a business coach. However, I have learned that there are a lot of people who will not accept help or wait until it is too late to ask for advice. I believe is it due to
pride. It is seen as a sign of weakness to ask someone for help, assistance or advice. This pride has caused many a businesses to fail or at least not achieve the level of success that they could have obtained. My greatest source of wisdom is the Bible and it states, “Wisdom is found in those who take advice. For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure. The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” These are just some of the many verses in Proverbs written by the richest and wisest man in the world, Solomon. Why do people refuse to seek advice? One word, Pride. We want to be able to say, “See what I did all by myself.” This is a big mistake that can cost you time, energy, money, and possibly your business. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We need someone who can help us see the weaknesses and either improve on them or find ways to mitigate them. I believe in surrounding myself with people who are better than me, especially in the areas where I am weak. I have coaches who push me to do the things I don’t want to do in order to achieve the goals that I desire. If it weren’t for them, it would be too easy to procrastinate or simply never tackle the tasks that I don’t want to do. The result would be an unfulfilled life and dreams not accomplished. That is not acceptable to me and if you are the same way, then I would recommend you getting a coach for your business. Together we can map out the paths for your success and help you overcome the roadblocks to your dreams. Don’t let pride keep you from having the business and life you deserve.
Jody Williams, MBA Action Business Coaching 828-466-2279
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The Tasty Tortilla
by Linda Plummer It certainly is a poor man or woman who cannot find a few eggs, a couple of potatoes and an onion in their store cupboard! The ever-practical Spaniard realized this and thus created their marvellous “tortilla” - an easy-to-make dish that could be savored by rich and poor alike. Not only cheap to make the tortilla, or Spanish omelette, is immensely adaptable: you can eat it hot or cold, depending on the weather and your mood; you can enjoy a small slice as a “tapa” (snack) in between meals; or, accompanied by a multi- colored mixed salad and crusty, fresh Spanish bread, you have a marvellous main meal! Should unexpected guests come knocking at your door ... just whip out the ever-adaptable tortilla, pour them a glass of smooth, Spanish wine and they are bound to be delighted! Unlike the better-known French omelette, which should be made quickly and over a high heat, the Spanish omelette needs to be cooked more gently, so that the middle is not too runny. The French omelette is best eaten straight away and always hot. Its Spanish counterpart, on the other hand, improves if left to rest for at least five minutes before eating, keeps well for a couple of days in the fridge, and can easily be re-heated in the microwave, unless you prefer it cold. As with the French omelette, the Spanish tortilla is made in a frying pan (preferably non-stick) but, unlike the French version, both sides need to be browned. For this reason, it is possible to buy special tortilla frying pans - a sort of double pan which allows you to swish the omelette over to cook the other side! I have to say, I prefer the traditional method of placing a plate on top of the pan, turning the tortilla out and then returning to the pan to cook the underside. But the simplest method is to place the frying pan under the grill to brown.
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 15 Whichever way you choose to prepare it, once cooked, leave it to cool a little, cover with a large plate, then gently ease out the omelette. It should be circular, about an inch-and-a-half thick, and it is usual to cut it in slices or wedges. Having said that, you can divide it into small cubes, pop cocktail sticks on top, and serve along with other “bits and pieces” as apéritifs. Spanish recipes for tortilla vary from region to region - also what you have in the fridge and what you fancy! You can replace the potato with, say, spinach, leave out the onion, add a bit more garlic, etc, etc. Just use your imagination! Below is a recipe for traditional potato-and-onion tortilla. TORTILLA - Spanish Omelette Ingredients: Olive oil 1 large onion, chopped 1 clove garlic, crushed with 1 teaspoon salt 2 medium-sized potatoes, peeled and diced Black pepper 6 eggs, beaten Method: 1. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a pan. 2. Add onion, garlic/salt, pepper and potatoes. 3. Gently fry until golden-brown and potatoes slightly softened. 4. Tip potato-and-onion mixture into bowl containing beaten eggs. 5. Stir and transfer to large frying pan containing clean oil. 6. Cook over low heat for 10-15 minutes. 7. Transfer pan to preheated hot grill until top is browned. 8. Carefully tip onto plate and slice as you would a cake. After 20 years of living in Spain, Linda Plummer decided to create the information-rich website http://www.top-tour-of-spain.com with its FREE monthly newsletter, “The Magic of Spain”. This page printed with permission from: http://www.creativehomemaking.com/articles/102804k.shtml
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pg 16 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Organize Your Leftover Containers in Four Easy Steps
by Monica Resinger (with permission)
This week, it was time to organize my leftover containers that are kept in a kitchen cupboard on a slide out shelf. I didn’t realize how long it had been since the last time I did this until I got to the bottom of the shelf and found things I’m ashamed to tell. I will tell you that there were containers I had forgotten I had because they were buried so deep. How could something like this be useful?! Really, the only use it had was to barely store my leftover containers; barely meaning each time I’d open the door, usually something would fall out. I had to ask myself “why would I need 250 containers?!” Just joking, it wasn’t that much, but it was too much. Here’s how I got this cupboard in shape in four easy steps: 1. I took everything out of the cupboard. This is a cupboard close to the floor so I sat on the floor and took it all out and set it all around me on the (cleaned) floor. When the shelf was cleared
out, I vacuumed it and wiped it off. 2. From the lids and containers on the floor, anything I didn’t use or want anymore either went into the trash or into a bag to be donated to the Goodwill depending on if it was still useful or not. 3. With what was left, I matched containers with lids. Each container I found that still had a lid (don’t ask me where they go!), I’d set back into the cupboard and each lid went into a plastic organizer to hold them; this way the lids would still be in with the containers, but not all scattered around. I stacked the containers according to their size and shape. 4. I threw away the remaining disposable lids and containers (yogurt, sour cream, margarine, etc.) that didn’t have a match and donated any good, no match lids or containers to the Goodwill; I’m sure they’ll find a match for them. Complete in four easy steps! Now when I open that cupboard, the containers don’t come falling out and I can easily find the container I need. It is a great feeling to have them organized (for a change).
Monica Resinger is editor/founder of Creative Home Newsletter: a free, weekly newsletter with articles and tips on organizing, cooking, cleaning decorating and more. To get this free newsletter, visit HomemakersJournal.com.
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 17
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Let’s call my client “Sophie”. Sophie is short for sophisticated. By definition, she is knowledgeable, skilled and mature. She’s had her fair share of achievements. After all, she is educated, she raises children, and contributes to the company’s bottom line. With style and an innate sense that her personality is an attribute, she can navigate everyday with relative ease. However, today we are discussing her dream. The ideal life she desperately wants is on the coaching agenda. Like most women, Sophie secretly longs for more. Sharing her heart’s desire, plainly I can see that she can make the dream come true. I sense hesitation and the look on her face is classic. She is frustrated. I ask her a simple question, “What’s stopping you?” Her response is “It’s hard.” Granted Sophie’s dream is big. It requires more knowledge, more skill and more maturity than she has ever had to muster. Like most women, Sophie has real life obstacles that stand in the way of her success, her delight, and her future. But the reality is she is really just getting in her own way. Simply stating, “It’s hard.” Well, makes it hard. Didn’t I just mention her capability? What gives her the idea she is incapable? Didn’t I just celebrate her achievements? Why does she think her dream is unachievable? Didn’t I just mention her personality and style move her easily through the day? Did she forget she is sophisticated? Sophie’s statement, “It’s hard” isn’t serving her. Her words hold her back. They create a barrier to what lies beneath the surface. Orison Marden stated “Deep within us dwell slumbering powers that would astonish us, that we never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize our lives if aroused and put into action.” With little awareness, we like Sophie continuously lull ourselves into a state of powerlessness with negative self-talk. What would it be like if every Sophie out there was awake operating in her powers? We’d be astonished. The books Sophie longs to write would be published, charities would be birthed out of her love for humanity, art would adorn the halls of our homes and the desire Sophie has to travel the world to share her story would encourage millions. Pay attention to what you tell yourself. Self-talk is incredibly powerful. It is simple. The talk you are having with your self is either holding you back or propelling you into action. Action is fueled by positive affirmations. Positive self-talk can manifest your dream. And your dream has the capacity to revolutionize the planet. Monitor your messaging. Take the advice of Van Gogh, “If you hear a voice within you saying, “You are not a painter”, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” An Exercise for a Vibrant Life
Over the next 30 days, invite confidantes to monitor your self-talk. Ask them to bring to awareness your negative self-talk. Write down their observations in a journal. Take each statement and re-create it to bring vibrancy into your life. Examples: Negative Self-Talk: I am so tired. Vibrant Self-Talk: I am energized about my future. Negative Self-Talk: I am way behind. Vibrant Self-Talk: I am making progress. *** Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and business coach. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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8 Ways to Lighten Up Your Home for Summer by Susan Guest, ASID The warm days of summer are finally here. Time for hula hoops, cookouts, swimming, summer camp, and family fun. It is also time to prepare your home for soaring temperatures by lightening up your décor. Even though most of us have air conditioning, it is important to alter the home visually during the warmer seasons. Here are eight tips for your summer transformation: • Remove dark heavy drapery and leave only the blinds or shutters that control sunlight. • Slipcover your furniture with a lightweight fabric such as muslin. Cover the heavier fabrics on upholstery that make your body temperature rise just by sitting on them. • Pull up rugs and store until fall. You might want to use natural fiber rugs such as sisal or even rag rugs during the warmer months. • Temporarily replace your heavy bedding with thinner comforters or sheets in pale colors. Many of my clients have reversible coverlets or separate looks for each season. • Move some of the furniture out of your family room to give a lighter, airier feel. • Trade your dark accessories out for lighter colored items-apple green, white, and yellow are great for this season. • Thoroughly clean rooms to make them sparkle -- including crystals on your chandeliers, lamp shades, and windows. Allow the light from outside to transform your interior. • Decorate your home with foliage or fresh cut flowers from you yard. No green thumb? You can buy bouquets at the local farmers’ market or grocery. Make a glass of lemonade and enjoy your lighter environment. Happy Summer!
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www. guestinteriors.com.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 19
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pg 20 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
THE
MALE BOX by Wayne DeLoriea
Let me begin by wishing every dad out there a very Happy Father’s Day. It’s apropos that Judy has invited me aboard just in time for that special day. I am a father of three great kids. My children are the mark I leave on the world, my legacy, my monument. You see, we guys are all about making marks, changes, fixing things or building monuments. I can’t think of a single monument built by a woman…not that there might not be one somewhere but monuments just don’t seem to be that important to them. I think this need develops in guys very early in life when we leave the seat up, throw our clothes in the corner or carve our girlfriend’s initials into a tree. We want the world to know that we were here. Well, that need to make a profound impact on the world is what brings me to you. In my most recent monument, Coach Without A Whistle, I tell almost all of the little secrets that made me the man that I’ve grown to be. Over the next months and hopefully years, I’ll share the nuggets of knowledge that I’ve learned along the way to becoming a stronger man. As a Master Fitness Instructor and NASCAR Coach for some of the most premier teams in the sport, I know what strong is. I’ve seen guys do some of the most athletic and graceful physical moves that are on par with any sport in the world. However, that’s not the strength I’m talking about. You see ladies, in every man’s heart there is a door. This door is a BIG HONKIN’ DOOR! It’s made of the heaviest material known to the universe. Only the strongest men can open these doors. Guys, you know what I’m talking about. This goes out to all the younger men out there. I don’t care how much weight you can push or pull in the gym. If you truly want to be a strong man, be a door opener and start with the door to your heart. Just beyond the Big Honkin’ Door is a small boy who wants to be loved and accepted. The little boy fears rejection most of all. He’s every bit the ’snakes and snails and puppy dog tails’ that the rhyme describes but his ego is also the most fragile thing in the universe. I suppose that’s why the door that guards him is made of the most impenetrable material in the universe. There seems to be a direct relationship between the value of the treasure and the security we choose. Well guys, if you really want to build your ‘muscles’ open the door often. Grab hold of the handle and start pulling for all you’re worth. The love and admiration you receive from all who know you is greater that any bodybuilding or racing trophy I’ve ever seen. In time, you’ll come to find that the little girl that lives inside the heart of the woman you love will begin to trust you and then feelings of rejection will be a thing of the past. As you get good at holding the door open, that little boy you keep locked up behind the door will
begin to respect and love you. Here’s the best part…as this progresses your children will learn what a man is…a real man….a real strong man. So, as you get up on Father’s Day morning, look outside and you don’t see a new Ferrari in the driveway with your name on it, just understand that you’re going to get another necktie or a package of underwear…just like all the years before. The difference is that this year, this Father’s Day, can be the turning point in your relationships because of the gift you give yourself…permission to come out from behind the door and fall in love with your family, permission to be soft and gentle, permission to kiss the boo-boos and roll in the grass with the people you love. The longer you run in fear of rejection… the stronger you make that fear. I’ll leave you with this little story that impacted me along the way. Once upon a time there was a young Indian brave sitting at the fire under the stars with his grandfather. The grandfather explained that in every man there are two wolves, the good wolf and the bad wolf. The young brave thought for a minute and looking up at the wise old man asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” Smiling, the old man looked into the young braves eyes and simply answered, “The one you feed.” Deny the fear of rejection and throw that BIG HONKIN’ DOOR wide open…this is what feeds the good wolf that will protect you when someone DOES say an unkind thing. Keep the faith brothers and become door openers. Happy Father’s Day. Coach
Owner & Operator of The CORE Fitness Studio, NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne DeLoriea, One of NASCAR’s most successful and decorated coaches, certified in 79 countries around the world and author of Coach Without A Whistle joins forces with Healthy Lifestyles to help you realize your nutrition and fitness goals.
How To Start A Business sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 21
When starting a new business there are several easily overlooked key points to make your start-up successful.
1. Don’t give up. This may sound silly but if you start-up is being difficult or your having a bad year and you quit and go do something else you never accomplish the first goal, which is why you started the business in the first place. All the hard work and effort are equity in your endeavor and if you are stuck, can’t beat the competition or can’t find the solution then just restructure the problem and look at it from a different way and keep moving forward. 2. Don’t Spend Money. This is often overlooked by new entrepreneurs but I see it all the time. Depending on the type of business you are starting try to keep the cost down. One way to do this is to start in your home or garage. Add a new phone line or use a cell phone for business. Don’t borrow money to do this. Trust me you don’t want to learn this lesson the hard way, like I did. So frequently I see new entrepreneurs investing tons of money in how the business looks like antique cabinets, custom cabinets, the finest this or that. Don’t do it. Start bare bones and see how things go from there. 3. Test Your idea. This is a great inexpensive way to test your idea, run it by other successful business owners. Typically you don’t want the opinion of your family members because they usually don’t have their own business or want you to get a real job. Run it by local business leaders or someone who you know who is successful in business. If you don’t know anyone, get on the hone and survey potential customers and see if there is an interest in your idea. 4. Have a plan. If everything test like you thought and there is interest then create a simple one page plan that encompasses your daily, weekly and monthly duties that will be require to execute the plan as well as the expectations in sales and growth. Place this on your desk so you can see and check it daily and adhere to it.
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pg 22/ June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Faith in the Storms Part 2 Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth
“All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful” (Psalm 25:10 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Sometimes when I gaze at the Jaynes family portraits of three smil ing faces, I can almost see a shadow of a fourth. For there are four of us and one day - our picture will be complete. “Steve, can you meet me for lunch? I have a little surprise I want to give to you.” I was so excited to share this unexpected news with my husband that I called him at the office and asked him to meet me at our favorite spot for lunch. After five years of struggling with infertility, we had become content with the realization that it must be the Lord’s desire for our son, Steven, to be raised as an only child. It appeared that he would not have a brother or sister. And now this surprise. At lunch, as Steve plucked the bow from the tiny package and nestled among the tissue paper hid a small gingham baby pillow. “Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked with tears forming in his eyes. With a lump in my throat, all I could manage was a nod that said, “Yes, I’m pregnant.” After many years of trying to conceive, the Lord had blessed us with this unexpected pregnancy. I began planning the nursery, the doctor confirmed that the baby was growing, and we were about the happiest couple on earth. But our elation collapsed when a few months later the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and my heart was crushed with sadness and despair. For those of us who believe that life begins at conception, a miscarriage can be devastating, because it is not simply the loss of a child who is to be; it is the loss of a child who is. This was a tidal wave and it hit me broadside. I wish I could tell you I got out my Bible and began reciting the verses about my new
identity. I wish I could tell you that I said, “All things work together for good” and kept my chin up. I wish I could tell you that I went into a time of prayer, trusting that “Father knows best.” I did not. I went to bed and mourned for three months. I avoided church and happy people, my prayers felt empty and rote, and I allowed the tidal wave of pain to swallow my hope. Why? I listened to the lies of Satan. “I told you so,” he taunted. While I was too weak to pray, Jesus prayed for me (Hebrews 6:20). One summer night, three months after the miscarriage, as I lay on my bed, crying, praying, and crying again, I wondered, What is my child doing in heaven? What does she look like? If only I could see a glimpse of her face or have one conversation with her. With a miscarriage there is no funeral - there are no sympathy cards. I needed some kind of closure to this grief. Then Almighty God Himself reached down and gave me a precious gift. Just as clearly as if I were reading words on a printed page, a letter was spoken to my heart. When the words stopped coming, I jumped up and wrote each precious gift on paper. Dear Mommy, I asked Jesus if it would be all right for me to write you a letter. He said it would be OK. First of all, I want to thank you for loving me and giving me life. I remember how happy you and daddy were when you found out that you were going to have me. I remember how you prayed that I would come to know Christ at an early age. I remember how you prayed that I would have a mission in life to help others. Mom, I know that you and dad were sad when God decided to take me to heaven before I was born. I saw the tears that you cried. But Mom, what I wanted to tell you is this: Your prayers were answered. I am healthy. I am strong. I do know Christ, and He lets me sit on His lap every day. And mom, I do have a mission.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 23
Everyday new babies come to heaven who were never born. Many of them never knew the love of a mother or father. When they come to heaven, they always ask the same question; ‘Baby Jaynes, tell me, what was it like to have the love of a mother?’ And I can tell them. Oh, how I can tell them. Thank you, mom, for loving me. I know you miss me. But one day we will be together and what a time we will have. Until then, imagine me happy and whole, playing at the feet of Jesus, and telling other babies about what it feels like to have a mommy that loves them. See you soon, Baby Jaynes What a precious gift the Lord had given me. The time of mourning had passed. I now had a picture of my child playing at the feet of Jesus! I still have days when I long for this child. Some days when I look at portraits of the Jaynes threesome adorning our family room walls, I almost see a fourth shadow in the sunlight. But there will come a day when my little girl will not be a mere shadow. I will hold her in my arms. Until then, it gives me great comfort picturing her healthy and whole and being held lovingly in the arms of Jesus. During those months, I had a friend who used to sing me these words from a song titled “Trust His heart” by Eddie Carswell and Babbie Mason. God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you can’t understand When you don’t see His plan. When you can’t trace His hand Trust His heart. Faith. It is believing God no matter what our eyes and emotions tell us. It is not enough just to know the words in our heads; we must believe them in our hearts. Faith is trusting God in the dark.
Let’s Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, I trust You because You are trustworthy. You never change. You always tell the truth. You always want what is best for me. You always have my best interest in mind. So even though I may not understand Your ways, I trust Your heart - and that gives me a peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Job - now there was a man caught in a terrible storm. He had no idea what had hit him! And while his friends tried to come up with all kinds of reasons his life was falling apart, they had no idea. Today, I want you to read God’s response to Job. It’s long, but buckle up. You’re about to get an earful. Read Job 38-41. Now, what was Job’s response to God? Job 42:1-6. I’d love to hear your thoughts on thisdevotion. Visit www.facebook. com/sharonjaynes to share what’s on your heart. Girlfriends In God P.O. Box 725 Matthews, NC 28106 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com
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pg 24/ June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
PROTECTING YOUR MOST PRECIOUS BELONGINGS The Importance of Estate Planning for Parents
By Casey Winebarger, Esq. As a parent, protecting your children is no doubt one of your greatest concerns. You make sure they eat a healthy diet, take them to the doctor when they are sick, and clean their wounds when they are injured. You will do whatever it takes to prevent them from harm. But what if something happened to you? Do you have a plan in place to protect your children in that event? Regardless of how young or healthy you are, you need an estate plan to ensure your children are cared for, as you would want them to be, in the event you cannot care for them yourself. An estate plan is essentially an instruction manual for what happens at your death. It can consist of a last will and testament, a revocable or irrevocable trust, or a combination of these. One of its main purposes is to name who you want to receive your property and how much you want each those people to have. State law dictates the beneficiaries of your property if you die without an estate plan. In North Carolina, your children and your surviving spouse are your beneficiaries. If you are a single parent or both you and your spouse die, your children will receive your property outright in equal shares. Step-children that you have not formally adopted will not inherit from you if you die without an estate plan. Parents typically want their children to be the beneficiaries of their property, so the state law distribution might conform to the wishes of many. But what if you desire to leave money earmarked for your
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daughter’s college education? What if your son is a spendthrift and you want to protect his inheritance from potential creditors? What if you have a disabled child for whom the receipt of a large inheritance could jeopardize eligibility for benefits? In these instances, and in any instance where you want to alter the state’s predetermined estate plan, you will need to draft your own. In addition to making sure you provide for your children the way you see fit, an estate plan allows you to name someone you trust, called a custodian or trustee, to handle your children’s inheritance while they are minors. Without an estate plan, a court will appoint someone to this role. This individual may or may not be the person you would have chosen for the job. Perhaps more importantly for parents, an estate plan allows you to name someone you trust to be the guardian of your children if both you and your spouse pass away. Although a court is ultimately responsible for appointing the legal guardian, naming a specific person in your last will and testament to serve as guardian for your children weighs heavily with the court. In fact, courts will almost always honor this designation unless it is clearly in the best interests of your child to appoint someone else. As with the custodian of your child’s inheritance, if you do not name a person to fill this role, the court will appoint someone without any input from you. When developing an estate plan, you should carefully consider the goals and aspirations you have for your children’s futures and how you can best provide for their financial needs as they grow up. In deciding on a custodian or trustee to manage their property, choose a responsible person who you trust to manage and spend the money as you would yourself. Likewise, in determining a guardian for your children, consider people who have similar values and belief systems as you. You should also consider the person’s age and physical ability to raise your children. And you should always name one or two successors in the event the primary person chosen is unable to accept the responsibility. It is never too early or too late for estate planning. An estate planning attorney can help by listening to your wishes and goals, working with you to develop the plan, and drafting the documents to put the plan into action. It is a good idea to review and revise your plan each time you have a significant life change, such as a marriage, divorce, birth of a new child, or death of a close family member. In any event, you should review your plan every three to five years to make sure it still conforms to your wishes. It is essential to engage the services of an attorney to ensure your estate plan is drafted and executed in compliance with the law. With an estate plan in place, you can be confident that your children will be protected and cared for, regardless of what the future may bring. DISCLAIMER: The content of this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice. You should not rely solely on the information herein to make legal decisions. You should consult an attorney for specific advice tailored to your unique situation.
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Casey Winebarger is an attorney at Patrick, Harper & Dixon, LLP in Hickory, North Carolina. She practices primarily in the areas of estate planning, elder law, and business and corporate law. Casey may be contacted at 828-322-7741 or via email at cwinebarger@phd-law.com. Patrick, Harper & Dixon is Hickory’s oldest and largest full-service law firm.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 25
TRUTH
& BEAUTY by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
Question: I recently lost my job so I can no longer afford to get my facials nor can I afford the pricey skin care products. Can you recommend a good “at home” skin care regiment I can follow until I can afford to go back to my esthetician? Answer: Always remember that good skin care consist of CLEANSING, EXFOLIATING, FEEDING, SEALING AND PROTECTING. Cleansing is self explanatory, but do not use soap. Instead use a cleansing cream such as Cetaphil. It is inexpensive and works great. Exfoliating can be done by using a mixture of sea salts and sugar. How often you exfoliate depends on your age. Once per week per 10 years of age. If your in your 20’s then you should exfoliate twice per week, in your 40’s, then 4 times per week and so on. Feeding - Give your skin something good to eat, by applying topically vitamins A, C and E. Vitamin A is a retinol that will help your skin renew itself. Vitamin C helps in a couple of ways. First it is a antioxidant that can protect your skin from free radical damage. Next it is essential for collagen production, therefore it helps to maintain the skin suppleness and elasticity. Vitamin E will help to combat dry skin and will also help to stave off those pesky free radicals. Seal your skin by using a good moisturizer. I’m sorry, but I just can’t recommend any cheap moisturizers. Moisturizers purchased at a drug store or mall may feel good but they do nothing to moisturize the skin. The molecules in those products are so large the skin can not absorb them, therefore they do not work because they just sit on top of the skin and are never absorbed down to the area where it’s needed. There are a lot of great products to choose from, just make sure that you purchase from a spa, dermatologist or cosmetic surgeons office. Those products may cost more, but they will work. Lastly you should protect your skin with a sunscreen product of at least a SPF 15. These tricks will help until you can get back on your feet, but they are not recommend for the long term, so as soon as you can afford the “good products” you should get back to them and your esthetician.
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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren’t overweight..
WHY? • • • • • •
Because we were always outside playing...that’s why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Play stations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! • • • • • •
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!! • • • •
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it ?
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It is storm season. The time of year when the day starts out picture perfect with not a cloud in the sky and then BOOM….a clap of thunder and then a torrential downfall. The time of year when you fall in a peaceful sleep only to be awakened to flashing lights and bowling balls rolling overhead! When my babies were little and a storm came, I would wrap them up in my arms and sit with them in a chair and explain there was nothing for them to be afraid of. I used to teach them to count the timing of the thunder and then when the lightening would come. Stories of how the angels were bowling in heaven and you would see when they got a strike! I used to love the nights of the “flash” lightening and I would show them how beautiful it was. Being a good mother meant teaching them not to be afraid of things like regular thunder storms but also not to do stupid things that would get them struck by lightening. Now they are grown and when they had babies, I would wrap them up in my arms….well, you get the picture. There is another picture I want you to see though. Two of those babies are graduating high school and last night during one of those storms, my arms were aching. My babies have grown up. How did that happen? I am not ready for this and I know I am not old enough for this to happen. Did I do a good job as a mother? Did I do a good job as a grandmother to my two graduating grandkids? I can’t re-do it. My prayer is that they will look back and think fondly of the times we had together. They might not remember me holding them in my arms but I sure hope they remember how I always did and always will hold them in my heart. Maybe for a graduation gift, I should buy them a lightening bolt charm to always remind them that I was the one struck with love….and maybe it will remind them to get in out of the rain. Who knows, maybe I will get to wrap their babies up in my arms…you know what I am saying. I know I will because I am not old!
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pg 30 / June 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
She’s a Bridesmaid for a Day, but Keep Her a Friend for Life Author: Patricia Oaklief Of course, we understand that a wedding is all about the bride and groom. Bridesmaids are there to support the bride, and the rules for how a bridesmaid needs to support the bride tend to be very specific. However, in discussions, it’s easy to sense that some of the rules are not so clear and, in some cases, hard feelings can develop between the bride and some of her bridesmaids, particularly in areas related to costs. There are brides, however, who seem to have successfully and sensitively managed the issue of cost with their friends and it usually comes down to the bride being sensitive, flexible and generous. Someone who hasn’t been in a wedding before usually has no idea the actual cost of being a bridesmaid. And the cost is formidable, especially for a college student, young mother, someone just starting out in her job, or someone who has been a bridesmaid in several other weddings. A bridesmaid is responsible for her dress, alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, shower gift, shower hosting, bachelorette party hosting (although it’s OK to ask guests to chip in for this one), wedding gift and, if she doesn’t live in the area, travel and lodging. There are a few lessons learned from brides who were able to deftly manage the issue of cost with their friends that may be helpful for a future bride, especially one who values her friendships: A. Before even asking a friend to be in your wedding, think through if the cost of being in your wedding will be a factor for your friend, how important it is that this friend is in your wedding, and what compromises you are willing to make and/or financial support you are willing to give. Your friend shouldn’t have to pay a steep penalty just to be a part of your day. B. The thing that seems to cause the most problem is the dress, especially if a bride wants her bridesmaids to wear something a little pricy. Some brides often counter that they purposely chose a dress that can be worn again but the odds are, in spite of the best intentions, it won’t. It’s a style the bride likes not necessarily the bridesmaid. To avoid hard feelings over the dress, initiate a discussion with each bridesmaid about what she would be comfortable paying and what, if any, style looks absolutely horrible on her. C. If you want your friend to wear a dress you know she can’t afford, pay for the dress and alterations but in a discrete way. Don’t send her a check as reimbursement for the dress but instead, for example, make arrangements beforehand with the store to send the bill to you. Simply tell your friend you had your heart set on a particular dress and budgeted paying for this dress in your wedding planning. D. If you don’t have your heart set on a particular dress, you could choose a color and style, e.g. tea length, and let each bridesmaid select her own dress in that color and style. E. If your bridesmaid does not live in the city where you are getting married, instead of expecting her to stay in a hotel (even if you have a block of rooms for a discount) ask friends and relatives in the area if they have an extra room or bed for your friend. This not only saves the bridesmaid a significant expense but helps her feel like part of the family. It’s one more set of friends or relatives she’ll know at the reception. Your wedding day is important. It’s easy to get caught up in the events of the day but remember it’s just one day. Friendships are for life. It’s important to remember that the day is about marrying the man you love surrounded by those who mean the most to you – the people you want in your life for the rest of your life.
A
sophiewomansmagazine.com / June 2010 / pg 31
Head
of the Pack
By Leanne Ely CNC - The Dinner Diva
The antioxidant protection of cruciferous vegetables is powerful. You know from previous articles here in Healthy-Foods and elsewhere that vitamins C and E and beta carotene help ward off disease and illness by helping combat harmful free radicals that naturally accumulate in the body. Free radicals damage your body, causing changes that can lead to all kinds of problems like cancer and heart disease. One the most delicious cabbages, Savoy cabbage is an amazing source of beta carotene and folate unlike other types of cabbage. Bok Choy too, enjoys the same reputation. Who knew that choosing a simple cabbage could make such a different nutrient-wise? Folate is an important nutrient for preventing birth defects, as well as possibly protecting the body from cancer and heart disease, too. I’ve just started getting into eating more cabbage and in my opinion, Savoy is heads above the rest (get it?). Look for it in your produce section next time-it’s the pretty looking cabbage with crinkly, curly leaves and a pale green color. Bok Choy looks more like celery than cabbage, with its thick white stalks and dark green leaves.
The Dinner Diva
Here is a recipe to help you get more cabbage in your life and more antioxidant protection. Works great as a side dish for nearly anything! Antioxidant Slaw Serves 4-6 1/2 cup low-fat mayonnaise 2 tablespoons thawed frozen orange juice concentrate 1 teaspoon sugar Salt and pepper, to taste 3 cups Savoy cabbage, shredded 1 cup shredded carrots 1/2 red bell pepper, thinly sliced 2 tablespoons golden raisins Stir all ingredients together and serve. Per Serving: 115 Calories; 7g Fat (49.9% calories from fat); 1g Protein; 14g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 8mg Cholesterol; 130mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1 Vegetable; 1/2 Fruit; 1 1/2 Fat. Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com
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Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:
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