Grog Takes Over 2021 - 2022
*Grog has not taken ENGG 130
MARCH 2022 Vice President of Communications
Director of Publications
Junior Editors
Cover Design
Breanne Bacani
Mariko Gardiner Balreet Grewal Manav Joshi Charles Klak Phoenix Martinez
Contributors Joel Kayanja Polina Reisbig
Safiya Ahmad Safiya Ahmad
Copyright
All materials appearing in The Bridge bear copyright to their creator(s) under the Engineering Students’ Society (ESS) and may not be used without written consent.
Website
essualberta.ca
Contact
esscomm@ualberta.ca
@essualberta
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Engineering Students’ Society of the University of Alberta
Photo: Breanne Bacani
DEAR READER, i Hope all is well with all of you! Everyday I wake up and think of the beautifuL articles that my team will Publish and I can’t help but sMile. It has truly bEen a blast being able to make content for the student body and for that, I would like to thAnk you. My job here is almoSt dOne and it is biTtersweet. I am so gRatEful for this opportunity. best regarDs, Breanne Bacani Vice President of Communications
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Table of Contents
86Community
ESS Executive Review Grog's Lookbook
18 Features
The Secret of Life Research Feature:
Effectiveness of Nerves on the Elbow
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berta.ca
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Just for Fun
The Heroic Cycle of Sir Gilligan Best Hit Songs Weird Facts
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websitethatloadsper
rfectly.ualberta.ca
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ESS 2021-2022 Executive Report Cards a non biased review by Breanne Bacani
The official ranking system: A+ = amazing work, no complaints A- = amazing work, some complaints A = amazing work, lots of complaints B+ = okay work, no complaints B = okay work, some complaints B- = okay work, lots of complaints C+ = work was done C = work was done kinda C - = work was done but it wasn't good D + = did actually nothing but pretended to do something D = actually did nothing F = too many bad things to count 8
F
President Adrian Wattamaniuk
President Wattamaniuk did too much work this year. His advocacy work was too effective for student governance.
Executive Assistant Maria George
F
As assistant, Maria George typed up the meeting minutes too fast.
F
VP Academics and Services Ivana Tieu and Franklin Gonzales
The Academics and Services duo, Tieu and Gonzales had good intentions...almost too good.
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VP Communications Breanne Bacani As the sole provider for the ESS, Breanne Bacani carried the weight for all executives. Without Breanne, the ESS would not be afloat.
A+
F
VP Finance Ethan Franz
VP External Delaney MacIntosh VP External MacIntosh invited too many companies to the annual Career Fair.
F
VP Finance Franz unfortunately could not show us the numbers this year. 10
VP Internal Zack Dorward and Johnny Lee
F
The internal duo, Dorward and Lee failed to account for the one person who wanted merch the most...me. Merch sold too fast.
VP Student Life Holly Clark and Polina Reisbig Clark and Reisbig created too much fun, and raised too much money for their philanthropy projects.
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GROG'S T H E C L A S S I C S 12
The OG
LOOKBOOK
Winter 2022
Fall 2021
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GROG'S G E E R S T O R E F I T S 14
Halloween
LOOKBOOK
Election Szn
Valentine's Day 15
The Secret Of Life By Mariko Gardiner Recently I have been meditating on a few subjects that I feel have some worth to meditate on. Among these are the meaning of life and our purpose here on earth. I can say with some confidence that I have discovered the answers to both questions, and in fact the are far simpler that one might imagine. So simple, in fact, that once the reader reads them for the first time all the mysteries of the universe will reveal themselves as though there was never any mystery at all. The meaning of life is 42, meaning whatever you make of it. Do as you’d like, all concepts that limit us are truly of our own making. Our purpose here on earth is to enjoy it. There is nothing more than a moment to live in, so the truth never really mattered to begin with. People have been alive for a very long time, and in that time much has happened. There have been several pantheons of gods that ruled various belief systems, although now the monotheistic approach is much more popular, with a single all powerful and all knowing god. However, the only thing that makes a god is the belief the people have. That does not mean that gods don’t exist, only that they exist because of belief. By this same logic, if enough people believe that I’m a god, I will become one. There are also systems that don’t believe in the power of any one individual, but rather in the power of everyone and everything. To have this power, all that is necessary to do is believe. If you truly believe, then you can jump off a building and not hit the ground. However, it’s impossible to truly believe because we are all programmed from an early age to doubt. We are taught to fear death and follow rules because that’s the only way we would ever be controlled. But if we can escape the bounds of these deeply held beliefs, any thing is possible and we could be gods. Editors note: I realize the colour combination is terrible, but I promise that what is written is well worth the read and addresses all the most important questions.
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Research Article
Exploring the effectiveness of nerves located on the elbow region through experimentation and licking M. E. Gardiner1 , P. Reisbig2 1 2
University of Alberta Faculty of Engineering, Engineering Physics University of Alberta Faculty of Engineer, Environmental Engineering
There are many nerves in the human body, and most of them are capable of feeling a variety of textures. However, some areas are lacking in nerve endings, making them capable of only the most basic feeling. One such region of the human body is the elbow region. Elbows have fewer nerve ending than other parts, since if they had a lot of nerve endings it would cause excruciating pain every time the elbow was straightened. As a result, the elbow is not at all sensitive to feeling and cannot feel certain stimuli. In this paper, we tested how well the elbow can feel the stimulus caused by by being licked. In order to do this, we had two groups of people, lickers and lickees. In order to ensure that stimulus came from the lick itself and not the awareness that a lick may happen, the lickees were not told of their participation in this experiment until after the completion of the experiment when data was collected. In order to collect data, the lickers would sneak up behind the unsuspecting lickees when they are not paying attention and lick their elbows. This was done in the vicinity of the Geer Store so that store employees could act as witnesses if necessary. The results collected showed that the lickees could not feel the lick, although they did note a slight breeze on their elbows after being informed that they had just been licked. Key words: Elbow, Nerves, Experimentation, Licking DOI: 10.26117/2079-6641—-1-1 Original article submitted: 03.27.2022
Funding. The goodness of our hearts.
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The Heroic Cycle of Sir Gilligan BY MARIKO GARDINER
CHAPTER 17: IN WHICH SIR GILLIGAN FINDS THE CASTLE FOR WHICH HE HAS BEEN SEARCHING ALL THIS TIME ONLY TO FIND THAT HE HAS BEEN BETRAYED BY HIS OWN BROTHER AND HAS TO JOURNEY TO ANOTHER CASTLE. At long last Sir Gilligan arrives at the Castle Osteria, it’s dark walls and towers every bit as grand as he had been told. As he approached the gate, he was hailed from above. “Ahoy there, you scallywag, what is your business here?” “I am Sir Gilligan of the Order of the Fuscia Lizard, and I demand entry into this Castle!” “Do you have a reservation?” “A what?” “A reservation!” “No, but Surely you have room for a walk-in!” “I’m sorry, Sir Gilligan, but we are currently full and only allowing reservations in!” “What? But surely you have space, I can see an empty table just there!” “I’m sorry sir, that table is reserved for another party!” “Well, I’ll just be a minute, surely you can let me in!” “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t let you in without a reservation!” This shouted exchange continued in this way for some time with Sir Gilligan asking to be let in without a reservation and the guard above politely refusing each time. After almost 2 hours of this, the castle is approached by another knight, and the guard makes the same call as he had made for Sir Gilligan. “Ahoy there, you scallywag, what is your business here?” “I am Sir Percival of the Order of the Circle and I’d like to make a reservation for one!” “Of course, Sir. Our earliest slot is 6:15, does that work for you?” “Yes, thank you very much!” “Of course, Sir, please come inside to our waiting area and someone will inform you when your table is ready!”
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The castle gate was opened and Sir Percival was allowed to enter at once. Sir Gilligan, seeing this exchange, was outraged. “My good man, what the heck? Why did you let in that flea-ridden circle-loving scallywag, but not me?” “He had a reservation!” “He did not! You made the reservation just now!” “True, sir, he did not have a reservation but ten minutes ago, but he managed to remedy this unfortunate happenstance by making a reservation!” “I’d like to make a reservation, then!” “Of course, Sir! For how many shall I make this reservation?” “One!” “The earliest available reservation for one is at 9:45! Does this work for you?” “9:45! But that’s in three and a half hours! Surely I can get in sooner!” “I’m afraid not, sir!” “Okay, I’ll take the 9:45 slot!” Just then, a messenger pigeon flew into the castle, and the guard was silent for a few minutes. “I’m afraid the 9:45 slot has just been booked, sir! I can book you for 10:00, is that alright?” “What, really? Yes, yes, whatever, I suppose 10:00 isn’t that bad, I’ll take it!” “Okay, sir, I have a reservation booked for Sir Gilligan at 10:00 pm tonight!” “Can I wait inside?” “I’m afraid you can only come inside 15 minutes before your reservation!” “Oh, alright then. I’ll be back at 9:45!” With that, Sir Gilligan turned around and left. He went to the forest nearby and meditated on the days events. All in all, it had gone w=quite swimmingly, although he did wish he’d managed to keep the Groweden Ring, it was a shame that it had been lost in such a way as it was. He managed to keep his mind occupied with such thoughts until almost 9:45. He made his way back to the castle and was let in without further words exchanged with the guard. As he entered, he found himself in a large, candlelit room filled with elegant tables topped with white tablecloths. He was led to a small table in the back by a bright-eyed young lad. Upon being seated he was greeted by a rather grizzled old man. “Hello. My name is Arcturo. Can I get you anything to drink.” “Just water, please, and could you pass along a message to Princess Jaquet? Tell her where I am and ask her to come join me.”
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Arcturo grumbled as he walked away, and Sir Gilligan wasn’t sure that his message would get sent. He needn’t have worried, however, for just a few moments after Arcturo brought back a glass of ice water, which Sir Gilligan sent back to be replaced with room temperature water, a figure appeared wearing a dress with a veil. “Princess Jaquet, please, sit down.” Sir Gilligan stood up and offered Princess Jaquet his chair, wishing now that he had made a reservation for two. Princess Jaquet sat down and bowed her head to him. Suddenly suspicious at the silence of the often talkative Princess, Sir Gilligan tore the veil from her face only to find that it wasn’t Princess Jaquet at all, but Sir Gilliham. “You cur! What have you done with the princess?” “The Princess is safe in Castle Clearmont, I assure you.” “Castle Clearmont! But I was just there. I’m telling mom.” Sir Gilliham’s face turns white at those words. “Not that, anything but that. Please don’t tell mom!” “I’ll tell her, and I’ll tell her what you did to Fluffy McPiddlekins too!” As the two brothers yelled at each other, Arcturo appeared with some brutes and Sir Gilligan and Sir Gilliham both found themselves thrown out of Castle Osteria quite literally. They landed on the front lawn and continued arguing. “Please don’t tell mom! I’ll do anything, I’ll show you where the princess is!” “Oh, alright then, I won’t tell.” And with that Sir Gilligan and Sir Gilliham set off together back the way Sir Gilligan had travelled only that morning. The journey passed much the same, with the robbers, lizards and unicorn fanatics. Along the way, Sir Gilliham asked Sir Gilligan a question. “So what’s next?” “Now that I have a helper, I suppose I’m due for the Abyss soon.” “Makes sense. I suppose you already have a mentor, then?” “Of course, the old wizard Mud.” “Ah, truly the greatest of all wizards Mud is.” “Truly.” There conversations followed such nonsensical paths after that, as only conversations between siblings can, with the earlier arguments and animosity seemingly vanished, and the journey back seemed much shorter than the journey to had. But when they arrived at Castle Clearmont, they found that it was gone.
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BEST HIT SONGS!
You're Missing out if you haven't heard these hits yet! Scan the QR codes to listen!
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Weird Facts
How many of these weird, and very real facts did you know? The average person eats up to five bathtubs worth of pudding in a year! The flag of Antartica changes every few years to account for the change in shape of the continent due to global warming. The sentence "You're a wizard Harry" was never actually said in the entirety of the books and movies! 22
If scared a lizard will run in a northward direction. It's well known that if you are stressed, doing complex math problems will actually calm you down! Pandas will not have the dark circles around their eyes if they are well rested. There are actually lefthanded and right-handed Rubik's cubes! Prior to 1834, Monday never existed on the calendar! 23