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Column Centimetres

with Olav Muurlink

The world has shrunk to the degree that there are relatively fewer flatearthers around. We’re moving so fast that we’d reach the edge of the earth before lunch if we’re not careful. But there are still some flat earthers around. Let me quote one of the more prominent, a Ultimate Fighting Championship chap called Bryce Mitchell, aka Thug Nasty, who putting aside the question of whether Thou Shalt Not Punch or not, has found Jesus, and declared “Hey y’all!!...if y’all don’t know by now, NASA is fraudulent. They're evil. That’s why their logo is the tongue of a snake. They make up lies like big bang and moon landings cause the elites don’t want you to worship God!” (Some spell checking, punctuation added by myself for clarity.) I’ve included the NASA logo, so that all those of you who have been punched in the head too many times can admire the tongue of the snake. NASA itself announced a couple of years back that it was resurrecting the “a bold, patriotic red chevron wing piercing a blue sphere” but what do you see now…a snake tongue or …what the hell is a chevron?) know any actual flat earthers, but I do know a Moon Landing Was Faked person, and I have said to her, why don’t you fly…errhm…to Cape Canaveral. Land in Cape Canaveral and watch a rocket launch. What’s your thoughts now?

For the flat earthers, they didn’t have to travel to Cape Canaveral to have their world view challenged visually. Yes, there is no curvature to speak of even on a ten story cruise ship… but the navitgation of the ship works on the basis that the earth is spherical…and there’s no “reaching the edge of the planet” alarm in sight in the captain’s quarters. In fact if the earth was flat, only three satellites would be required for the ship to navigate a circle the size of the planet…but a ship’s GPS relies on 24 satellites, because…the satellites can’t ‘see’ outside their piece of the curve of the earth.

Unfortunately, despite all of us having access to satellite technology— regardless of whether you’re a Taliban or a tech true believer—in our hands these days, it seems we are flat out believing in anything except what we can see from the balcony of our flat, drinking a flat white...feeling flat...

Editor: Olav Muurlink editor@thedailyjournal.ink

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Now a student of mine when I was teaching journalism at Griffith University was lucky enough to score a trip on a flatearther cruise. OK, let’s just pause for a moment and think of the risks of going onboard a cruise…pre pandemic of course, so no masks required…but a cruise on board with a group of people who believe that the ocean ends at a certain point, somehow. Now that’s a pack of crazies. I don’t

Olav Muurlink is associate professor in sustainable innovation at Central Queensland University... and used to plough the flat earth around Glen Aplin back when he was a boy.