WINTER$4.99 PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM2013 PRISONER OF FLESHTHE Giving You the Tools to Break Free! THE PREVIEW ISSUE 13 QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF IN 2013 ARE YOU ADDICT?FOODA Do Black Men Have a Better Chance at Education in Prison? REALISTIC TIPS TO SAVE $ AND BE DEBT FREE KEEPING UP WITH Power Player Spotlight: MieshaWilson How she moved past childhood trauma to triumph in business, building a Nu LifeDemon of AbuseFacing the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INSIDE:
Politics Love Hate Fear Insecurity Success Failure Marriage Divorce hood Economy Employment Money sure Self-Esteem Resentment Struggle Death Prison Forgiving Loneliness Testimony Inspiration Politics Love Felony Addiction Abuse Success Failure Bullying Single Parenthood Economy Homelessness Peer Pressure Self-Esteem Domestic Violence Education Life Death Poverty Tragedy Triumph Testimony Fear Insecurity Mistakes Felony Addiction Marriage Divorce Breakups Bullying ployment Money Drugs Homelessness
Insecurity Mistakes Felony Addiction Abuse Breakups Bullying Single Parent Money Drugs Homelessness Peer Pres Struggle Domestic Violence Education Loneliness Poverty Tragedy Triumph Love Hate Fear Insecurity Mistakes Failure Marriage Divorce Break Economy Employment Money Drugs Self-Esteem Resentment Struggle Death Prison Forgiving Loneliness Testimony Inspiration Politics Love Hate Addiction Abuse Success Failure Bullying Single Parenthood Economy Homelessness Peer-Pressure Self-Esteem
Yourheread Contact us to place your ad in the PREMIERE ISSUE of Prisoner of the Flesh™ TODAY!magazine Phone: (888) 861-2215 Email: advertising@prisoneroftheflesh.com
Our goal is to become the number one self-improvement resource by providing insightful news, practical information, useful advice, and covering lifestyle issues for people that are looking to be inspired, and interested in getting guidance and support in becoming stronger and more self-motivated.
Editorial inquiries including submissions, ideas, or Letters to the Editor should be sent to AdvertisingBusinesseditor@prisoneroftheflesh.cominquiriesshouldbesenttobusiness@prisoneroftheflesh.com.Inquiriesshouldbesenttoadvertising@prisoneroftheflesh.com. DISCLAIMER Prisoner of the Flesh is a self-improvement, lifestyle publication that is owned, operated, and published by Freedom Publishing, LLC. Any views, opinions, or interpretations expressed in the columns are solely those of the authors and do not represent those if Freedom Publishing or its subsidiaries. Freedom Publishing, LLC will not accept any responsibility for the views expressed in the pages of Prisoner of the Flesh magazine, prisoneroftheflesh.com, or other communications. All individuals listed in this magazine are independent contractors and can not legally bind POTF magazine, it's parent company, or its affiliates in any contract or agreement, or incur any debt on its behalf. All legally binding contracts/agreements must go through, Prisoner of the Flesh magazine, (888) 861-2215 and be signed by the Publisher. Prisoner of the Flesh is not liable for any errors or omissions contained herein, and must be held harmless from any liability or damages that occur from any third-party advertisements published herein, ora any loss resulting from the advertisements herein. Copyright Prisoner of the Flesh magazine 2013. Reproduction without written permission from Publisher is prohibited. Prisoner of the Flesh assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.
Our mission is to provide information, tools, and resources to win the battle against the emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, or financial demons that are difficult to escape, while shedding new light on issues that impact our community as a whole. We will take an in-depth, behind-the-scenes look at the lifestyles of men, women, and youth in suburban and urban inner cities, and explore the impact and implications issues like crime, addiction, abuse, and abandonment have on offenders, victims, and society as a whole—as well as the rationale.
We will go underground to highlight tales of triumph and tragedy within the community, uncover the hidden costs of crime, examine obstacles many in our community face like housing, employment, health, and substance abuse, and more importantly provide legal and social information that affects the urban community.
MISSION:
VISION:
To bring awareness to domestic violence we discuss intimate partner abuse, its impact, why people stay, look inside the puzzling mind of abusers, and give you tips on how to recognize them.
11 THE DEMON OF ABUSE
QUIET ADDICTION
Editorial Coordinator
Damian Calvert, a man convicted of murder, who served almost two decades in prison, shares his story of life before prison, in prison, and beyond being a prisoner.
Consultant
When most people hear the word vegetarian they automatically label that person based on how they think they should look, talk, act, and dress. We attempt to break those stereotypes with a few famous names that may surprise you.
41 HOW TO GO VEG
14 REMEMBER MY NAME PROJECT
If you’re opening up to the benefits of the lifestyle, whether Pescetarian, Flexitarian, or all-out Vegan get a few great tips on how to transition your diet.
Matt Saffold, Beatrice Bachleda, Jenae Clark, Keyana Williams
Thousands may be suffering from this misunderstood habit and not even realize it.
35 FOOD ADDICTS
31
Contributors
Business Manager
Web Developer
Raymond S. Brown, (www.gramstudio.com)III
Keyana Williams
CONTRIBUTIONS
Did you know that the symptoms of a food addiction can be the same of those of drugs and alcohol?
21 MY TESTIMONY
Guest Writers
In remembrance of the many men, women, and children killed by domestic violence, this project created a virtual memorial to ensure that their names will never be forgotten.
Real Life
Mind & Body
Freedom Publishing
39 CAN YOU SPOT A VEGETARIAN?
MeLisa Collins
Founder Turk Publisher
Deidra Nichols
Shon Burks (www.FrozenCreative.com)
Guest Writers –POTF for Teens Aisha Echols, Allyson Carpenter
Creative Director
Keyana Williams
AIDS
73 POWER PLAYER
77
This one may not be real, but we show you an example of one of the worst applicants EVER, to get you thinking about how what you say (or don’t say) on your application could be damaging your chances of getting a job.
This issue’s Power Player, Miesha Wilson, owner of Nu Life Fitness Camp provides us with her secrets to success as a small business owner and entrepreneur. PHD: PRISON HELD DEGREE?
Law & Politics 87 POLITICAL PARTIES 101 Whether you’re a new voter, or you just don’t know, we offer you a quick visual tutorial to help you understand the major U.S. political parties. IN EVERY ISSUE 1 Publisher’s Note 2 Letter from the Editor 3 Letters from Readers 4 Streets are Talking 5 Ask The Board 7 Missing Peace 8 Inspiration 55 Words to Live By POTF for Teens 01 Social Media, Violence, and Teens 01 Why Are Teens Wildin’ Out? 01 Teen Inspiration 01 Avoid the Trap
Make these 5 financial resolutions a part of your every day!
FINANCIAL RESOLUTIONS
85
45
FINDING PURPOSE
83
43
49
65 KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES
Have you heard about the new AIDS pill? The at-home AIDs test? Despite preventative methods, and “know your status” pleas, are Blacks still ignoring the epidemic?
HEART TO HEART
Money 57
Having a hard time dealing with the loss of a loved one? Here are 10 ways to keep showing them love even after they’re gone. AFTER THE NEW YEAR’S BALL FALLS
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61
Featured spotlight on a woman in need of her second heart transplant and another chance at life. GOOD GRIEF
CLAUDE’S COMMANDMENTS
Even in adulthood many of us struggle with realizing our purpose – what we were given this life to do. Read one woman’s account of how her experiences in her job, led her to discover her real purpose.
60
More money tips and 7 not so ordinary words of advice you can use to start improving your finances.
Our friend, Claude Bailey, shares realistic advice and tips to help us save money, get out of debt, and stay debt free through financial principles that played a fundamental role in how he and his wife were able to do it – and you can to!
Most of us end up falling flat on our faces trying to keep up with this makebelieve family. PASSING DOWN WEALTH
69
Business Education&
2012 is gone, so in 2013 you should ask yourself these 13 questions.
An extremely large number of Black men in the U.S. don’t graduate from high school. Does prison provide better opportunity? 10 LEGAL HUSTLES
7 (UNCONVENTIONAL) MONEY TIPS
Do you think like a wealthy person or a poor person? Are you passing down bad financial habits to your kids? Your money mistakes don’t have to be your kids’ inheritance.
Looking for ways to make “quick” money without sacrificing your freedom? We’ve got 10 side hustles you should consider. EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION FAIL
50
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Sincerely,iden,
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Founder
Prisoner
of the Flesh magazine Freedom Publishing 1 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
[Signature]
& Publisher
WELCOME TO THE PRISONER OF THE FLESH MAGAZINE PREVIEW ISSUE!
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This preview edition demonstrates what the magazine's departments and columns will be, and a sample of the topics we plan to cover. Prisoner of the Flesh will also feature extensive, in-depth interviews with a range of interesting people with interesting stories – from everyday people to celebrities, from murderers to victim’s families, from abuse survivors to abusers –we plan to cover it all!
2 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Welcome to the preview issue of Prisoner of the Flesh! Normally, this is where you would find a Letter from the Editor. Right now, there is no official Editor-in-Chief, so as Editorial Coordinator, for now, I’m filling in as the Editor this issue.
When Turk first approached me to make his vision for a self-improvement magazine become real, I thought, “Okay, well that’s different.” With such passion in his words, he said he wanted a magazine that would touch lives! He wanted a magazine that would appeal to a wide range of people. From the youngest teen, to the oldest adult; rich, poor, and everything in-between; any race or ethnicity; from addicts to inmates; and so on! He wanted a magazine that included real life stories of crime, murder, violence, death, and prison – but didn’t glorify any of those things. He felt like everybody has been, or is going through something, so he wanted to cover a wide range of topics. Whew! It sounded like a huge task, and defied logic in so many ways to me. We were breaking all the rules in my mind! How could we create a magazine that appealed to such a variety of people? Then I remembered his words…. everybody has been, or is going through something. No matter how small, we all have room for improvement. To do better. To be better. That’s what this magazine is all about.
Prisoner of the Flesh™ is a self-improvement, lifestyle magazine for those who are - or have been - locked within the prison walls of their own flesh and are ready to break free! What that means is that this magazine is for anyone and everyone that has been, or is going through, or struggling with anything. Our goal is to give you the tools to be better! To break free! Before our official launch, we just had to release this [x] page, almost full-length preview version of Prisoner of the Flesh – JUST FOR YOU! What you will find in the pages of this issue is just a sampling of where we’re trying to go with this publication.
In this preview, we also invite you to take a look at some of the additional sections that will be included, starting with the first issue. The Prisoner of the Flesh preview ends with an advertisement of the Prisoner of the Flesh website (prisoneroftheflesh.com). Connect with us on your favorite social network where we will be announcing the magazine’s launch and information on the exclusive launch party.
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
We hope you enjoy what we’ve put together. As you continue to grow, our goal is to have you grow with us through the information, tools, and resources we plan to give you with each and every issue. Now, without further ado…. introducing Prisoner of the Flesh! 1 ….. 2 …… 3…..Break Free!
KeyanaSincerely, Williams Editorial Coordinator
With the preview now available, anyone wanting to experience the full magazine can place their pre-order through our website. The price is $4.99. Shipping not included.
No matter what your religious affiliation, political stance, what you’ve been through, what you’re doing, or what you’ve done, we hope that you will get something from this magazine. We hope that Prisoner of the Flesh will become an essential part of your life, and a resource that you depend on to provide you with the tools, tips, and resources to help you improve any and all aspects of it.
My Testimony: Damian Calvert
Dear Reader….
Facebook Twitter E-mail us: letters@prisonerofthefleshmagazine.com Send mail to: 16781 Chagrin Blvd. Suite 446 Shaker Heights, OH 44120
Share your thoughts with us on:
Very good read....but I'm biased. This story bought me to tears, but not because of his story; because of the untold story of the person's life that he took. I hate that these people are able to turn their lives around, yet their victims never get that chance. The person that killed my husband turned 18 two weeks before the murder and was only sentenced to 16 years. I can see him coming home in about 10 years, telling a story similar to Mr. Calvert's. I can appreciate
someone changing their life around, but his focus during this entire interview was on well he's doing now and how he had such a horrible, painful life so that’s his excuse for behaving the way that he did. But somewhere down in Akron, his victim’s family, parents, kids, etc., probably ended up having horrible lives based on the pain this man caused. Yet he barely spoke of the regret he feels for the victim.
Prisoner of the Flesh magazine is here to help you improve, but we need you – our readers – to help us improve too! Is there a column in our magazine you can’t wait to read? Did something we wrote about hit home with you? Did a book or movie we recommended motivate you in some way? If you love it – tell us! If you hate it –tell us! This magazine is for YOU so we want to know how you feel about it – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
LETTERS READERS
Please include your name, address and phone number (if applicable). Submissions become the property of Prisoner of the Flesh. Letters sent to us may appear in these pages or on prisoneroftheflesh.com, and may be edited for grammar, clarity or space, and be published or otherwise used in any medium.
FROM
3 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
We want to hear from you!
D. Nichols, Cleveland, OH
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That’s why Prisoner of the Flesh will be taking it to the streets to find out what people have to say. We’ll stop someone on the street, or crash their social network page, and ask the question….they’ll give us the answer – AND be featured right here in the magazine. It’s that simple! Stay tuned….you never know WHO we might ambush!
STRAIGHT FROM THE STREETS
The streets listen!andtalkDOwewantto
ASK BOARD is here to provide you with straightforward, personal advice and opinion, and offer you a new perspective on your problems and questions. We are a panel-style advice column, so the response to your burning questions will be answered by someone from our team of advisors (The Board) that is best-suited to give you the advice you need.
ASK THE BOARD Need some advice? Send us your problems!
• Do you have a secret and don’t know what to do?
• Need help with relationship problems?
FINANCE WHIZ LAW ENFORCEMENT HEALTH FITNESS&GURUMOTHER FORMERATTORNEYADDICT We Got You!5 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
THE
Ask The Board is a chance for you – our reader – to open up about your personal problems without exposing your identity to the world. We’ll answer ALL the letters received, whether or not they are published, but the best and most interesting letters will be answered – right here in the magazine!
• Is there an issue you’re struggling with?
• Feeling conflicted?
• Have a question about interviewing?
A response will be sent back,
the Flesh. Letters sent to us may appear in
All submissions remain anonymous,
• by return address (unless otherwise instructed). but become the property of Prisoner of these pages on prisoneroftheflesh.com,
and may be edited for grammar, clarity or space, and be published or otherwise used in any medium. RELATIONSHIPCOUNSELOR ENTREPRENEUR EX OFFENDER ITHEPLEAD5TH YOUTH MINISTER *Actual board members not pictured. Example only. SOCIAL WORKER 6 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
HOW TO CONTACT THE BOARD WITH YOUR QUESTIONS: • Begin your letter using the salutation "To The Board." • Letters “To The Board" can be e-mailed to TheBoard@prisoneroftheflesh.com Type “To The Board” in the subject line or send mail to: Prisoner of the Flesh c/o The Board, 16781 Chagrin Blvd., Suite 446, Shaker Heights, OH 44120.
or
MISSING PEACE Every year in the U.S. thousands of murders go unsolved and thousands of missing persons go unfound. We want to illuminate the faces of these victims, tell their stories and help fill in the missing pieces to help these victims families find peace. If you have a loved one you would like to have featured in Missing Peace, e-mail us at MissingPeace@prisoneroftheflesh.com. Send mail to: 16781 Chagrin Blvd., Suite 446, Shaker Heights, OH 44120. Please include your name, address, e-mail and a contact phone number. 7 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Released: 2007
With The Bucket List, it’s not so much the movie that’s inspiring –it’s the message. Part drama, part adventure, and part comedy, the overall message is to make every effort to live life to the fullest, which can be carried out by way of a “bucket list.” A bucket list is a list of all the things you want to do before you “kick the bucket” a.k.a. die. Starring Jack Nich olson and Morgan Freeman, the film presents the story of two terminally ill men (one a mechanic, the other a billionaire) who decide to take the time they have left to create and merge their bucket lists, and attempt to cross off any many things as they can. The film challenges you to think about what you would do if you only had six months to live.
www.GetRichSlowly.org
MOVIES
The Bucket List
Organized into a series of thoughtprovoking questions (like How much do you love yourself? Who are your five people? What is your purpose? and Are you ready for the next level?), singer/songwriter/actor Tyrese Gibson’s book How to Get Out of Your Own Way will challenge you to rise above life’s circumstances and obstacles, by inspiring you to take control of your life.
ISBN: 978-0-446-57222-4
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
8 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
BOOKS
Pub Date: April 7, 2011
Page count: 304
“Few people get rich quickly, but almost anyone can get rich slowly” – J.D. Roth, founder of GetRichSlowly.org Named the best blog of 2011 by Time magazine and the most inspiring money blog by Money magazine, GetRichSlowly.org provides practical information and advice on personal finance and other related topics. Whether you need help planning, pro tecting, saving, spending, investing, living, or retiring with your money this site is for you. The site was created by a guy who –like many of us – was in debt, but was able to become debt-free and even save money using the tips and advice he now provides through getrichslowly.org. Start with the twelve key beliefs that form the core of the Get Rich Slowly philosophy. By following these we’ll all be well on our way to getting rich – no matter how fast or slowly.
INSPIRATION ON THE WEB
Using his experiences as teaching tools, How to Get Out of Your Own Way is an easy read that seems more like reading a letter from your big brother. Raised in South Central L.A., Tyrese experienced gangs, extreme poverty, violence, and his mother’s
How to Get Out of Your Own Way by Tyrese Gibson
abuse of alcohol and abuse by her boyfriends throughout his childhood, yet rose to fame and fortune by taking his life, and his future, in his own hands. In this part memoir, part guide book Tyrese tells you how he did it, and how despite where you are in life now, you can do the same.
[Repeat Chorus 2x's]
Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it It's yo time, it's yo time, it's yo time, it's yo time
You were made to live a good life and that's what I believe So hit the floor say a prayer start working you got to do something It's alright to crawl before you walk it's alright to walk before you run But if you wanna get what you never got gotta do something that you never done
[Verse 2:]
You've been qualified But his mercy multiplied You cannot be denied Cuz you're finally certified It's official Go ahead and testify He's gone bless you You gone bless him Now God be glorified
"Go Get It" by Mary Mary
It's like you're looking through a telescope you see where you gone be Growing getting better you're not the person they see Can't be mad at the things you been through cuz they built yo muscle Now you're stronger than you've ever been they can't stop yo hustle
[Chorus:]
Yo Faith ain't never small that's what brought you this far See you got your dreams and you got your prayers and you got Yo God he gone take you there See everybody has a season and I believe this one's yours Cuz you been workin, waitin, this what you been prayin for
Go get it, Go Get it, Go get it, Go get it, Go get it Go get yo blessing
[Repeat [Bridge:]Chorus]
INSPIRATIONALTURK'S READS: 9 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
MUSIC
[Verse 1:]
Anonymous letters accepted.
Domestic Violence is an issue that’s important to us here at Prisoner of the Flesh magazine. In these types of situations, there are many victims. That’s why we’ll be covering do mestic violence in EVERY issue. Whether you’ve been abused, are being abused, are a witness to abuse, or are yourself an abuser, SHARE YOUR STORY with us at editor@prisoneroftheflesh.com, or by mail to 16781 Chagrin Blvd., Suite 446, Shaker Heights, OH 44120.
10 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Demon of Abuse
Domestic violence has plenty of victims, but it also victimizes the community. Still, many of us turn a blind-eye and rationalize
REAL LIFE 11 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Facing the
By: KEYANA WILLIAMS
A
My Name Project on page X], celebrating those who have survived [see A Survivor’s Story on page X], and supporting those who work to end violence on a daily basis [see Ujima Program on page X].
THE DEMON OF ABUSE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE ON THE BASIS OF RACE, COLOR, RELIGION, NATIONAL ORIGIN, SEX, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, AGE, DISABILITY OR ECONOMIC STATUS. RICH AND POOR; YOUNG AND OLD; URBAN AND SUBURBAN; BLACK, WHITE, OR OTHER, ABUSERS AND THE ABUSED HAVE MANY FACES AND COME FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE.
Statistics say that one in four women and one in thirteen men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Many victims may choose not to disclose their abuse due to feelings of shame or fear of being looked at a certain way. Considering the fact that an estimated 75% of physical assaults often go unreported, imagine what the actual reality of these numbers could be.
buse in the form of domestic violence can be childto-parent, parent-to-child, or sibling-to-sibling, but most usually occurs among intimate partners [see Recognizing an Abuser on page XX]. Across America we lose an average of one and three women to domestic violence each day, so the fight to end it is an everyday battle. However, each year, across the nation, during the month of October we observe National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is a time specially reserved for spreading awareness about domestic violence, mourning and remembering those who have died because of domestic violence [see Remember
Whether these situations are reported or not, as an individual, and as a community it is our responsibility to step in to end any form of domestic violence or abuse.
Economically, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Centers for Injury Prevention and Control have reported that $4.1 billion of the $5.8 billion per year that intimate partner violence costs our community is for direct medical and mental health services.
THANAGESINJURYCAUSEMAJOROFTOWOMEN14-45,CAUSINGMOREINJURIESAUTOCRASHES,MUGGINGSANDRAPESCOMBINED. 12 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Although abusers are both male and female, an overwhelming percentage of victims of domestic violence are women, so although a lot of the proceeding information is perhaps described or defined with women in mind, it may also apply to men [see In the Mind of the Abuser on page XX].
Over the past few years, the U.S. government with support from the Obama administration has been working to empower survivors to break the cycle of abuse with programs to help them become financially independent, has prevented victims of domestic violence from being evicted or denied assisted housing after abuse, and are promoting tools for better enforcement of protective orders, while helping survivors gain access to legal representation.
that it’s not our business. So, if appeals to the heart don’t work for you, how about what impacts your wallet? The demon of abuse may run rampant behind closed doors, but its damage spills out into the streets forcing us all to pay the costs. Reportedly, each year the expense for the resources needed to address domestic violence exceeds $5.8 billion.
2.2 million (medically treated) injuries due to intimate partner violence annually, which costs $37 billion. According to the New Mexico Coalition Against Domestic Violence, battering is the major cause of injury to women ages 14-45, causing more injuries than auto crashes, muggings and rapes combined.
Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year. There are an estimated 16,800 homicides and
BATTERING IS THE
Coordinated by the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, The Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Defnition of domestic violence
Project defines domestic violence as “as a pattern of abusive behaviors -- including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion -- used by one intimate partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship.” They describe batterers as using a range of tactics to “frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure, and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner.” Domestic violence occurs in intimate relationships where the perpetrator and the victim are currently or previously dating, in a relationship, living together or married. The tactics described in these kinds of situations can be classified into various type of abuse categories.
Includes name-calling, yelling, putting down, constant blaming and criticizing, and threats.
Scratching, biting, slapping, hitting, pushing, punching, choking, dragging, threatening with weapons.
Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or forces sex, insists you dress in a more sexual way than you feel comfortable, calls you sexual names, refuses to use contraception or protection.
Physical
Sexual
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Controlling all the money, taking your money, putting all bills in your name, selling or destroying your possessions or property, making you account for every dime you spend, not allowing you to work outside of home or attend school or tries to make you feel guilty about doing so, taking or disabling your car, not giving you access to transportation.
Financial
Verbal
Mental and Emotional
There are various types of abuse. The most common is physical, but abuse can also be mental and emotional, verbal, sexual, and even financial. The common thread in all types of abuse is the desire of the abuser to have control and power over their victim. The following are just some of the behaviors seen in various types of abusers:
Controlling what you do, who you see or talk to, and where you go, verbally attacking and humiliating you in private or public, forcing you to believe negative things about yourself, accusing you of cheating, not permitting you to use the phone, forcing you to stay in the house or locking you out of the house, and monitoring your behavior.
Types of abuse
Memories can have healing powers. Although they can bring sadness, pain and tears of sorrow they can also bring smiles, laughter and tears of joy. An important part of living after the loss of a loved one is finding ways to remember them and honor their life.
Story by KEYANA WILLIAMS
Children
No one wants to be a single parent, so sometimes the challenge of raising children alone stops a victim from leaving an abusive situation. Also, the guilt of taking a child or children away from the other parent is a disabler. In some cases, it is the threat by abusers that a woman might have her kids taken away from her that keeps her from leaving.
Remember My Name© Project
For the hundreds of thousands of men, women, and children that have died due to domestic violence, their memory can be preserved through the Remember My Name© project. Created in 1994 in partnership with Ms. Magazine, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) started the Remember My Name© project to memorialize those who have lost their lives due to domestic violence. Remember My Name© is a virtual memorial created from a national registry of names of people who have been killed by an intimate partner. Every October, for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, they produce a poster listing the names submitted within the year. So far thousands of loved ones from all over world have been memorialized through the project ranging from ages 0 to 85. Of course, that number does in no way reflect the total number of people that have been killed as a result of domestic violence – nationally or internationally – and is only a collection of names that have been submitted to the project.
Fear
When abuse is financial and victims are economically dependent on their abuser the fear of poverty or a standard of living less than what they have grown accustomed to is a major reason why people stay in abusive situations. Victims of domestic violence often make several attempts to leave an abusive partner and are forced to return for economic reasons. Economic self-sufficiency can play a significant role in ending domestic violence, by allowing individuals to have personal control over their money and other financial resources, giving them confidence in their ability to stand on their own. Building a financial base, budgeting and managing money, and developing financial goals are the tools many people can use to break free from economic abuse. However, oftentimes victims of domestic violence have little or no access to financial resources and face the choice of poverty or remaining in an abusive relationship. Abusive partners may sabotage victims’ attempts to seek employment or education outside of the home by harassing them at work, withholding transportation or childcare, or being physically abusive.
The greatest danger in an abusive relationship is often when a victim tries to leave. That is why support, resources, and a safety plan are extremely important weapons against an abuser.
Continued on page XX
Whether it’s guilt over the impact that leaving may have on the children, or the guilt of leaving a person they believe to be emotionally dependant on them, many victims start to feel remorse, a sense of responsibility and blame that disables them from trying to leave by overpowering their desire to leave.
Money/Lack of Resources
Why survivors stay in abusive relationships
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Guilt
Everyone deserves a healthy, non-violent relationship, however many in abusive situations do not recognize that the abuse is not “normal” and is NOT their fault. They may have witnessed or experienced domestic violence as children. Children who experience domestic violence are at a higher risk of perpetuating the cycle of violence, or getting into abusive situations themselves later in life.
Witnessing or experiencing domestic violence as children is an example of how domestic violence can put children at a higher level of psychological and emotional risk, laying the foundation for failure, emotional disorders, and abuse of not only other people, but themselves and oftentimes substances. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.
They think it’s normal
The memorial features a scrolling list with the name, age, and city, state, or country of the person being remembered, and a year listed by each name indicating the year of the post on which their name appears. Names are submitted daily and no matter when the tragedy occurred, names of loved ones can be submitted to Remember My Name© for inclusion on the registry.
For a life lost at the hands of another, forget about the tragic way that their life ended, but hold on to any and every part of what they meant to you and remember them always. It’s important to create a legacy for them and let others know who they are and not only how they died, but how they lived [see 10 Special Ideas to Remember and Honor a Loved One on page x].
If you would like to memorialize your loved one and make sure others remember his/her name, visit the NCADV website at http://www.ncadv.org, and find the Remember My Name Virtual Memorial under ‘Programs’. Names can be submitted electronically by completing an online submission form. ◆
The American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family: Report of the APA Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family estimates that each year 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members, and a child's exposure to the father abusing the mother is the strongest risk factor for transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. Although not always the case, boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
[In his book, R&B Singer and Actor Tyrese Gibson said that witnessing his mother’s abuse from her boyfriends showed him everything he didn’t want to become. Read more about How to Get Out of Your Own Way on page x]
Impact of domestic violence
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Statistics regarding domestic violence are alarming.
In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
As alarming as statistics like those are, think about what an alarm does. An alarm gives a clear signal that you can hear or see about a problem or condition, or provides you with an alert. When your alarm clock goes off you either do one of two things: pound on the snooze button or spring into action. That is equal to the natural fight-or-flight response we all have inside of us. At any form of perceived danger, or cause for alarm, our reaction is to flee or attempt to eliminate it. With that in mind, we think it should be so easy for someone to just walk away from an abusive situation. In relationships, the alarms are the red flags that we oftentimes ignore. But, not everyone quickly reacts to their own alarm. Have you ever heard someone else’s alarm going off? Beep…beep…beep…BEEP! The alarm just goes on and on and seems to get louder and louder and you wonder how can they NOT hear that? Are they just ignoring it? Or do they really not hear it? When it comes to domestic violence and any form of abuse, ignoring an alarm can mean the difference between life and death. Whether it’s your alarm, your neighbor’s, a relative’s, or a friend’s, some people just need a little extra help waking up.
Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
Everyone should play an active role in preventing and ending domestic violence, by stepping up to stop domestic violence when you see it [see Coordinated Community Action Model on page XX]. Your challenge is to commit to making sure that no one suffers alone, and to assist those who you know need help in escaping a toxic situation.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline links tens of thousands of victims every month to the resources needed to reach safety. If you are a victim, loved one, or concerned citizen you are encouraged to use this hotline for more information at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www.TheHotline.org.
For more information or to get help, here are a few more resources: The National Domestic Violence Hotline The1-800-799-7233NationalTeen Dating Abuse Hotline 1-866-331-9474 16 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:
for women following incarcerations • Speakers
• African-American females experience intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females.
• African-American women experience higher rates of intimate partner homicide when compared to that of white females.
• Both African-American victims and abusers are more likely to be arrested, prosecuted and imprisoned due to domestic violence than any other group.
- From the Women of Color Network
Ujima
For
P:
• An estimated 29.1% of AfricanAmerican females are victimized by intimate partner violence in their lifetime (rape, physical assault or stalking).
children
According to the Ujima Program, barriers to seeking help for African-American women includes inaccessibility to services; fear of rejection from family, friends, church, and community; and concerns that services are not competent to meet their needs. more information, please contact: Program (216) 688-7280
Domestic Violence can affect all people, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or culture, however recognizing the distinct cultural differences in the African-American community, the Domestic Violence & Child Advocacy Center (formed when the Bellflower Center for Prevention of Child Abuse and the Domestic Violence Center merged) in Greater Cleveland launched the Ujima Program to provide culturally sensitive services within the African-American community concerning the issue of domestic violence.
Ujima Program Services • Weekly support groups throughout Cuyahoga County • Services with re-entry
ProgramUjima 24-Hour ViolenceDomesticHotline: (216) 391-HELP 24-Hour Family Helpline (216) 229-8800 Domestic Violence & Child Advocacy Center www.dvcac.org The Women of Color Network www.womenofcolornetwork.org
The third principle of Kwanza, Ujima, means “collective work and responsibility”, so the Ujima Program works to engage the community in supporting its efforts. focus and professional and their
StatisticsSpecificCulturally
E: vgrant@dvcac.org Resources: THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & CHILD ADVOCACY CENTER'S 17 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
training on domestic violence for community organizations • Educational and support services to victims
Drama Accusations CriticismSelf-glorification Excuses Blame Deflection Fantasy Lies Assumptions V.I.P.MentalityManipulation Anger Power Trips 18 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
JUSTICE SYSTEM:
DESIRE TO MAKE
Inspired and adapted from the “Power & Control Wheel” developed by the Domestic Violence Intervention Project, 202 East Superior Street, Duluth, MN, 55802, (218) 722.4134
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Enact laws which provide courts with progressive consequences in sentencing. Adequately fund battered women’s service agencies and violenceprevention education. Commute the sentences of battered women who kill in self defense. Heavily tax the sale of weapons and pornography to subsidize sexual and physical violence prevention and intervention efforts.
COORDINATED COMMUNITY ACTION MODELOORDINATED
CLERGY:
A DIFFERENCE
Condition batterers’ continuing employment on remaining nonviolent. Intervene against stalkers in the workplace. Safeguard battered employees’ employment and careers by providing flexible schedules, leaves of absence and establishing enlightened personnel policies. Provide employment security to battered employees. Provide available resources to support and advocate for employees.battered
Develop and utilize safe and effective methods for identification of DV. Provide referral, education and support services to battered women and their children. Refrain from overly prescribing sedative drugs to battered women. Utilize accountable documentation and reporting protocols for DV. Devote a percentage of training equitable to DV cases handled.
Design and deliver services which are responsive to battered women and children’s needs. Require staff to receive training on the etiology and dynamics of DV. Oppose the “pathologizing” of DV and exclusive control of the “field” by “degreed professionals.” Shift the focus from “trying to keep the family together at all costs” to safety of battered women and children. Utilize methods to help identify DV.
MEDIA:
YOU
Regularly disclose relevant statistics on DV case disposition. Utilize methods of intervention which do not rely on the victim’s involvement. Devote a percentage of training equitable to DV cases handled. Vigorously enforce batterer’s compliance, and protect women and children’ safety, with custody, visitation and injunctive orders. Adopt a “pro-arrest policy.” Provide easily accessible and enforceable protection orders.
EDUCATION SYSTEM:
Support and educate teachers to recognize and respond to symptoms of DV in students’ lives. Teach violence prevention, peace-honoring conflict resolution and communication skills. Acknowledge gender bias in teaching materials and develop alternatives. Require education about relationships at all levels. Teach that it is the civic duty of all citizens to oppressionopposeandsupportthosewhoareoppressed.
Speak out against DV from the pulpit. Routinely assess for DV in premarital and pastoral counseling. Seek out and maintain a learning and referral relationship with the DV coordinated community response system. Oppose the use of biblical or theological justification for DV. Reject patriarchal dominance as a preferred social pattern.
SOCIAL PROVIDERS:SERVICE
GOVERNMENT:
HEALTH CARE SYSTEM:
Enact laws which define battering as criminal behavior.
EMPLOYERS:
Prioritize subject matter that celebrates peace and non violence. Spotlight efforts which promote nonviolence. Devote an equitable proportion of their media “product” to battered women and children’s needs. Educate about the dynamics and consequences of violence, not glorify it. Cease labeling DV as “love gone sour,” “lover’s quarrel,” “family spat,” etc. Stop portraying the batter er’s excuses and lies as if they were the truth.
Produced and distributed by: 4612 Shoal Creek Blvd. • Austin, Texas 78756 512.407.9020 (phone and fax) • www.ncdsv.org
This Model demonstrates, in abbreviated form, ways communities can accountably act to support battered women and children, and hold batterers accountable for their behavior. It is not a definitive representation. This Model primarily identifies heterosexual males as perpetrators of domestic violence (DV), as they comprise 95% of the batterers in this country. This Model was developed by Mike Jackson and David Garvin with the feedback of over 118 reviewers. We are grateful for their input, and acknowledge the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project for the wheel format. Permission to reproduce is given if there are no changes and credit is given. Please make copies and distribute them for your public education efforts. We welcome your feedback for future editions.
Developed by: Domestic Violence Institute of Michigan P.O. Box 130107, Ann Arbor, MI, 48113-0107, (313) 769.6334
• Female/Male • may have a history of violence • resolves conflict by bullying or intimidating • degrades and minimizes your successes • tries to play down the abuse,“I didn’t hit you that hard” • blames being under the influence, “That was the liquor talking” • hits, breaks, or destroys objects in anger • extremely jealous • makes you feel bad for wanting to do better • Says “sorry”, never admits to being wrong • says mean things to you • wants to make all the decisions • uses money to control you • accuses startingsupportersyouroftrouble • flips andbeingbetweenlovingbeingmean • forces you to do thinks you wantdon’ttodo • easilyexplodes 20 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
rainy morning, the purpose was to take a picture of him for his contribution to the PhD article (PhD: Prison Held Degree. Do Black Men Have a Better Chance at Education in Prison?). Who knew that it would turn into a 1 ½ hour-long interview!
Calvert’s story starts as one that too many growing up in urban inner cities can relate to, yet for others among us seems like a made-for-TV movie. Coming up in Akron, Ohio, Calvert grew up in the Projects, the youngest of 2 children. His mother, addicted to drugs. His father, absent. By age 17, he had 3 children. By 18, he had a criminal record, had been shot 3 times, and was now a father of 4. Three days
FromCALVERTConvictedMurderertoCommunityMobilizer
My Testimony:
REAL LIFE 21 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
W
hen we met Damian Calvert at his oneClevelandmid-townofficecoldand
after the birth of his fourth child, his only son, he was sentenced to 18 years-to-life in prison—convicted of Amurder.reformed, self-declared weapon, Calvert’s journey from the 18 year old that committed his crime – taking a life—to the man he is today, has been long and bumpy. Ultimately, he says he’s been transformed from that “weaponized” version of himself to a warrior for the community. Calvert served time in several prisons across the State of Ohio including Grafton Correctional Institution, Mansfield Correctional Institution, and the infamous Lucasville. In 2005, Calvert founded a formally recognized NAACP Chapter (Unit 34AB) in Grafton Correctional Institution and served as its President. Among his other accomplishments, he
By KEYANA WILLIAMS
Testimony:
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wrote and established a program called the Reentry Career Program; establishing enough trust with prison administration to be permitted to run it. The program had a strong community link to it. According to Calvert, he established a reputation for being serious and running good programs. He also learned the importance of the politics of it all, and says that running the Reentry Career Program was basically what got him out of Representativesprison.from service providers such as Towards Employment, Reentry Advocate magazine, and even some Cleveland police commanders…and others who were invited to speak to entrants in the Reentry Career Program and became friends to the program. Some eventually became his advocates. When it came time for his parole hearings, Calvert would
Columbus, Ohio (the state capital) to speak on his behalf at his next parole hearing. Calvert says, the board voted unanimously for his release. He was granted parole on March 28, 2011.
write letters to these individuals and ultimately received their support. Calvert says his journey led him to understand the importance of reaching out to the community. His initial parole was revoked when his victim’s family spoke out against his release, saying that they would be afraid if he got out. They questioned why he deserved to enjoy his life when he cut short the life of someone that they loved. On Calvert’s end, he says he completely understands. He understands that “old sins cast large shadows.” He understands that there are people who are still grieving over what 18year old Damian Calvert did. Still, he fought for his parole. For Calvert, fighting for his parole was another way for him to demonstrate his redeemability, and how prepared he was for his freedom. Several of his supporters, headed to the
Despite everything he has gone through and everything he continues to battle, Calvert has an optimism that is inspiring. Find out what he had to say, and what the attempted rape by, and ultimate stabbing of, his cellmate had to do with starting him on a path of renewal.
DC: Because when you’re put into a harsh situation or environment….
DC: The most important thing to be emphasized about men and women seeking education in prison is not just the academic piece. Education comes from the Latin root “educare” or “educere” which means “to bring forth that which is in you… mining those gifts and talents that a lot of men and women in the inside possess that they weren’t even acquainted with. So you use those tools, your learning in the classroom setting, those tools serve as the shovel and the equipment to mine those gifts and talents. The beautiful thing is when you get involved in your education … it serves as a vehicle to demonstrate your redeemability…and your consciousness. One of the things that I’ve learned by starting the NAACP in Grafton ….is that once the powers that be, and the people around you, see your consciousness, they no longer relate to you as an “it” or a “thing”. You become a human being. You become a man. You become a name. And that’s what happened to me. It’s very transformative and it’s very affirming.
DC: Growing up, OR, inside of a prison setting, OR, people that find themselves in dark valleys in their lives. You really have to go inside to find those strengths to persevere. What it becomes is a testament to your creativity or innovativeness. So for instance … in my situation … I’m doing a life sentence. I was sentenced to 18 years-to-life for murder at the age of 18. You’re carrying a cross. A physical cross; an iron cross, with the weight of them years on it … and you feel it physically. It doubles you over. Then you’re bearing that cross with your conscience at the same time, while you’re trying to reconcile with your creator for what has happened, and you’re trying to figure out, “How did I arrive here?” You have to become very innovative and creative in how you apply your consciousness and motivate yourself to keep on keeping on, because this is not a day-by-day thing or a minute-by-minute thing. It’s a second-by-second, where you’re trying to justify your existence. You’re asking yourself, “What’s it all for?”, when you can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel.
POTF: As far as growing up…?
POTF: Let me go back to something real quick that you said. You said, “It acquaints them with their gifts and talents which they weren’t acquainted with before.”
POTF: What did you want to say that you didn’t get a chance to say in your interview for the PhD article?
POTF: Why do you think that is?
DC: Many of them, yes.
SENTENCE IMPOSED Less than 1 year ..................... 2.0% 1-3 years.................................. 12.3% 3-5 years .................................. 14.5% 5-10 years ................................ 28.9% 10-15 years .............................. 20.3% 15-20 years .............................. 9.1% More than 20 years ................ 9.8% Life ........................................... 3.0% Death ......................................... >1.0% TYPES OF OFFENSES Drug Offenses .......................... 47.7% Weapons, Explosives, Arson ... 16.1 % Immigration.............................. 11.9% Robbery ..................................... 4.2 % Burglary,PropertyLarceny,Offenses .............. 3.9 % Extortion, Fraud, Bribery ..... 5.6 % Homicide, Aggravated Assault, and Kidnapping Offenses ... 2.9 % Miscellaneous ........................... 0.8 % Sex Offenses............................. 5.7 % Banking and Insurance, Counterfeit,Embezzlement ..................... 0.4 % Courts or Corrections ............ 0.3 % Continuing Criminal Enterprise ................................ 0.3 % National Security ................... >0.1 % BEHINDTHEBARS 23 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
POTF: …pretty much?
DC: Yeah. I was like, “How imma bounce back from that?” Imma die in prison.
1992, September 17th, I was incarcerated on this case. I was told my first time for eligibility for parole would be in 2006. 1992, 2006…I couldn’t see that far….
DC: You know….or imma be so old and feeble when I get out, I won’t be able to produce. It takes muscle and strength to lift the bricks to lay the foundation for your dreams. Then in there …people done bought into the things that they say about them, “You ain't $h!t !”, “You’ll never be nothing!”, “You’re just a convict!”, “You’re just an inmate!” Or, what they’ll say when you’re going in to get your GED, “I don’t know why you’re getting your GED. People out there ain’t even getting jobs!”
INMATES BY SECURITY LEVEL Minimum .................................... 17.1 % Low ............................................ 39.0 % Medium ...................................... 28.5 % High........................................... 11.2 % Unclassified1 ........................... 4.1 % INMATES BY GENDER Male........................................... 93.5 % Female ....................................... 6.5 % INMATES BY RACE / ETHNICITY White ......................................... 59.4 % Black ......................................... 37.2 % Native American ...................... 1.8 % Asian ......................................... 1.6 % Hispanic .................................... 34.9 % INMATE AGE Average Inmate Age ................ 39 Quick Stats from PrisonsBureautheof 24 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
DC: Yeah…
POTF: Mmhmm
POTF: Right.
In 2011, when I started college—this is during 911, and the economy had really took a downturn and it was all that cynicism and pessimism—people like, “I don’t know what you going to college for. That $h!t ain’t gon’ help you when you get out. You got regular people going to college can’t get jobs…and you gon’ have a felony against you! A body case!?”
POTF: What pushed you though? But, before you answer that … at what point…cause you’re 18, you’re going … you’re facing this … basically this life sentence…at what point….because you went in thinking, “Okay, my life is over.” At what point did that change for you?
POTF: And so what did it feel like for you to hear that at that time? Did you feel like your life was over…?
DC: The cross that everybody bears going into a situation like that …that journey is very individual. Some people harder, some people…mine was hard because of the baggage I brought to that. To answer that question in short…we have the tendency to look where we failed, as opposed to where we slipped. I had to go look where I slipped. So like every other soul in my community …in Akron, Ohio… Eastside…Projects… you know, my mother was strung out on dope. I grew up watching her shoot dope. Taking me to the doctor to play hyperactive to get Ritalin [Ritalin is commonly used to treat attention deficit
DC: You’re telling me to look into the first decade of a new millennium!? When we was just starting this decade.
POTF: Mmhmm
DC: All the way to seeing my sisters turn tricks. All the way to when I was 12 [and] my mother went to the penitentiary, and I was put in foster homes. I started running away and that was my orientation into the streets. To answer that question, you have to kind of look at …we’re talking about effects…we gotta look at some causes.
DC: The anger I felt. The bitterness I felt…the resentment that I felt…the hurt that I felt…the shame that I felt…knowing that dudes that I see on the block was tricking with my sister. The shame that I felt seeing my mom flip tricks. The shame that I felt having been locked up as a juvenile already. One side shame, one side fame, because...you know…that gives you props. There’s a lot of confusion in that and you carry all that inside you…and then you don’t know how to name them demons so they stay trapped inside you…and they drive you. They push you. That weaponizes you. That makes you a weapon. That makes you makes you dangerous. When you don’t know how to name the demons that’s driving you, you can’t draw a circle around them and what happens is…you hurt…and the only way you can articulate that hurt is to hurt the people around you. Then, when they looking at you
DC: I got in a lot of fights in prison. But where they underestimated me was that wrath I carried in me. I was looking for a object to explode on. So when they brought it to me, I was sorta like primed and ready.
By the time I was 17, I had 3 children. By the time I was 18, I been incarcerated 2 times as a juvenile, I been shot 3 times, I have 4 children. I turned 18 [on] June 22nd; in September…about 3 months later…I’m incarcerated for murder. So, I say that to say…those conditions weaponized me.
disorder (ADD) and narcolepsy] to shoot up with. Seeing her prostitute; seeing Butch beat my mom senseless.
POTF: Okay
DC: With the running away…the slips…where I slipped at was not going to school…where I slipped at was in emulating the brothas on the block that got immediate results from what they were doing—selling drugs and stuff. So, I thought that was the thing to do.
My narrative is one of small victories. My narrative is one of creativity. My narrative is one of adventure…of survival. Of literally being down in the depths of life, but pulling myself up outta that. And the values that come with that. The values of patient steps, the value of resiliency, of fortitude, of wherewithal. The value of imagination...of being able to imagine myself not only outside of my circumstances and outside the prison, but imagining myself out here in the community doing some type of advocacy—that is actually what I’m doing now. It’s actually amazing and it affirms everything I read in The Secret. Everything I read in The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Everything I read in The Way of the Wizard by Deepak Chopra, about carrying your highest vision of yourself…seeing it in your mind’s eye and holding it there…and pulling it back to that moment, acting as if that’s what it’s gon’ be. I proved that true… and I am not unique. The men that I learned from when I was in Lucasville…I did 13 months in solitary confinement…got sent to a maximum security which is Lucasville, after I stabbed up my cellmate because, you know, because he basically tried to rape me. I’m a young, light-skinned brotha in the joint, had good hair, you know….these are the realities of incarceration.
DC: I was in a messed up environment and reacted very unhealthily to it.
POTF: Okay
DC: Butch was my step-dad.
POTF: And who was that?
POTF: What do you mean by weaponized you?
DC: They weaponized me. They made me a weapon.
like, “I’m bleeding! Why did you do this to me?” you say, “Now you know how I feel”; “Now you feel me”; and that’s a common thing. They say misery love company…a miserable person is in pain. They don’t know how to exorcise those demons. They don’t know how to name them and articulate. So they make you miserable. In a very warped, very human way, you say, “Now you know how I feel.”
POTF: Mmhmm
POTF: Okay
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Fast forward it to now….as a Movement Builder Organizer, I work with returned citizens. Returned citizens, [is what] we call people who been incarcerated. I help them create a new narrative around that; a narrative that you reclaim. There’s a narrative of all of us that have been incarcerated. There’s a narrative when you go to our file …there’s a narrative that says we’re this, or, we’re that. You have to reclaim your narrative. Through you reclaiming your narrative, it’s not about, “oh, imma leaf in the wind, being whipped about by the State, grew up in a messed up situation, no power over my life, whoa is me, boo hoo, boo hoo.”
POTF: This was during that….okay.
POTF: Weaponized, like you said.
DC: In solitary confinement, I’m going through these peaks and these lows. The situation really broke me down...and it brought me to a point that…many souls that hit that point…some of them don’t come back. Looking back on it, it was so necessary to my own evolution. But even looking back on it, I’m like, “Wow!” That’s real scary because you’re really there on that edge that I seen a lot of people, a lot of men, come to and don’t come back. Amazingly, I was at that point at 20, 21… and almost fell over. I was literally hanging by a limb so to speak. But it was at that point that I remember listening to the men around me…you know…they were very angry. Nothing but hatred coming out of them... and more in that hatred, I hear regret. Of so many years lost. I can hear that bitterness in them and that regret. I was thinking like, “I might grow old in the joint. I don’t wanna be like that.” Somewhere along that...literally standing on that precipice … or that edge… I was like, “man….you know...I want to live!” “I don’t know what type of life this is, or if this can be called life, but I want to live.” “And I don’t want to be like these old bitter dudes.” Somewhere in that “aha” moment, or that come to Jesus moment, or that road to Damascus moment I had at that point... it transformed me. It’s a very slow process by the way.
DC: Noooo. The only men I had in my life were showing me how to cook up dope. They used to show me how to cook up dope, how to clean guns … how to break the gun down, how to file off the serial number … how to steal cars…you know…peel the columns and stuff like that. How to hit licks. Naw, never a man speak to me and show me how to be a man. The most amazing thing about it … these men I learned from….never coming home [Calvert is holding back tears]. I’m talking double life sentences. Men who took life. But yet, found purpose inside their prisons to give life…or affirm it. I didn’t understand the scale of that type of blessing, but I felt it, and I’m like, “Damn.” And every time they gave me some wisdom, I felt responsible to it.
The journey was slow… it was very rough around the edges. I still had a lot of anger in me. But slowly, I began to cool down. What I noticed was I used to attract a lot of people to me that always put me in fighting contexts. Dudes be like, “Man, why you walk like you tough?” and all of this $h!t . But all of a sudden through that process it was less and less of that. I wasn’t called to fight all the time. I didn’t have to act tough.
DC: When I went to the hole…did that 13 months, I went through a lot of changes, because I was in a hole… within a hole…within a hole. I was thinking like, “Why was I born?” I was semi-suicidal, but not suicidal like … imma hang myself or cut my wrists…but suicidal in the sense of …what they call that is fatalistic. In the sense that, you know, the guards…they’d just had a riot in Lucasville…8 inmates got killed…guard got killed…I come down a few months after that, the climate is very electric still…and my fatalistic way of thinking was like, “imma make these muthaf*%k@$ kill me, cause I can’t do this time!” I was broken.
POTF: Yeah
DC: This was during that 13 months…
I has started this course… it’s a 12-week course called, “In Search of Self” and they offer it free for guys that are incarcerated. You get two lessons a month. And what they do is draw from … [all these] prophetic Eastern texts including the Bible … and what their basic philosophy was, was that everything you see is the sport or the
POTF: Okay, so it definitely wasn’t overnight, it was a process?
POTF: Had you had men in your life like that before? Or any…
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DC: Nooo. But what it did was... it opened me. It made me hang question marks on everything. It took me 4 years to get out of Lucasville. But along the way, I had hit a depth in myself that ...I could only go up from that point. I hit a low that…the only way out, was to go up. Not only that, but looking back …they say, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. All of a Isudden…wouldhave people who studied very interesting schools of thought just approach me and start speaking to me and just always saying, “You know what? You ain’t like these other young dudes.” And sorta give me some advice or drop some jewels on me. Jewels is what we call advice, or some wisdom, or some nuggets…that would really help get me through a day. And they loved to give me books! They would always give me books, “Young brotha, check this out.” I would read the book and then start to break it down. They’d be like, “Man you smart!” I’d be like [to myself], “Man…I can read.”
POTF: This was after your 13 months in the hole?
DC: I was weaponized. Your original question was what changed me?
play of God. That there is no place that God is not. That when you look at your fellow human beings, that is God expressing as that person. That when you arrive at a level of consciousness where you just feel that love flow, for everything, even if you don’t like the personality… that that’s God recognizing God. So they believe that everything is an expression of God. I was intellectually reading it and was like, this is a wonderful exercise; because if I walk through this prison, like, “That’s God. That’s God. That’s God”, that helps rearrange my thinking; which I was very adversarial.
POTF: What do you mean? Describe that more for me? You said you fell into the same habits as before?
DC: No, No, No. Well, let me frame it like this. Coming home…this world it just kept rotating. Technology and all these things. I read about them. But the experience of them was just like…you know…going into a store, I love cereal and trying to figure out which box of cereal to get and reading the labels, and which one is more health[y]…I was there an hour! It’s called paralysis of analysis. I was overwhelmed. I just had to ask somebody to pick a box of cereal for me.
DC: I joined the Red Cross, and when I become Chairman of Social Services, I wrote to Lorain County Red Cross.....to train me and some select guys, so we could become instructors in there; and they came in. We became certified instructors with our port of authority being through Lorain. That was very empowering. I sat and marveled at that like, Wow! These hands that took like are now endowed with the ability to save life. Then articulating that with people in my community. I started calling it community. Not inmates. Community. I realized I had a certain talent for relating.
POTF: So it started to be a WHEN I get out?
Falling back on my lessons of what I learned in prison, I’m like, “what do I do?” I’m a student at CSU [Cleveland State University] full-time, I said, you know what? Let me find an issue to volunteer on. Something that’s worthy for me to volunteer on. At that time it was Issue 2, Senate Bill 5 … I was like, you know what? We need unions. So, I go up to Shaker Square, volunteered, phone bank. Certain people heard me on the phone banking. This guy was
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DC: It was a team accomplishment…but it felt very good and it opened up to me what is possible. ‘Cause I’m like, if we can do this in here, this can be done on the street. It really made me think entrepreneurially. I call it social entrepreneurial because it was like, I got all this time in prison … this I know. How do I take my program engagements and all the things I learned from these programs and translate that into an opportunity when I get out? I really started being strategic about the enterprises that I involved myself in. Because I’m like, okay…everything I’m doing is going on my living resume.
DC: Always. So when I worked for the NAACP it was, “how is this going to be a selling point?” It just really dawned on me, that…man, these skills is transferrable! We need every advantage we can get in how to sell them, how to market ourselves when we get out… and so the NAACP also acquainted me with politics –Inpoli”tricks”.cominghome...I did the first thing… I fell back what I learned in prison. This world, it just kept rotating while in many senses I stood still.
When I would see other men, particularly big men, or capable men, I immediately scanned for chinks in their armor….where are they weak at? This guy is big, but he got little legs, so if I ever locked up with him, I’m going for his legs. This guy here…he ain’t got no chin. I know a good chin shot, 5lb press and he going down. That’s how I analyzed them. Immediately. You’d be talking and I’m looking for chinks in your armor in case we ever go to war. And I became conscious of that and wanted to change that. That’s why I say my circumstances weaponized me. Being light-skinned growing up, being bullied. Being shot with pellet guns and BB guns by White people, ‘cause they called me zebras and Oreos.
To this day I don’t like Oreo cookies, and will never eat’em. Just because of the name! Or moving to the Projects, and brothas beating the $h!t outta me, taking my bike. Every time we’d be around girls, all of a sudden I’d get jumped. You know…all that. That was part of that weaponizing. That was part of why I was always analyzing, okay … where’s the chink in the armor? In case we fight. Then early in my incarceration, consuming books like Machiavelli The Prince, The Art of War…all these type of books. So that had to stop! So, intellectually I was like, “I need that.” Somewhere along the lines, I started to say, you know, that is God expressing as this person, or God expressing as that person, ‘cause this person is alive. That holy breath. This is God. Sometimes I would make the leap where I would feel that surge, you know, like “Yeah, this is real! This is God all around!” But it’s very hard to hold on to that. Soon as I would say, “Yeah, this is it!”… it’s gone. So like I said, it was a very slow process.
POTF: What did it feel like for you to achieve those things, because those are real accomplishments that everyday people on the street can’t accomplish. For you to be locked up, and for you to get that type of recognition and accomplish things like that, how did that make you feel?
POTF: Before they even send you to an interview?
DC: I went to Harbor Light [Harbor Light is a halfway house in downtown Cleveland].
And so through that volunteering—again, another opportunity to demonstrate your consciousness and your values through your investment in this—and the hard currency is the meeting of other people. All of a sudden, this lady asked me the back story…”Hey, why do you show up every day?” And I tell her, like, you know, for me, it’s just another way for me basically integrate into my community. Little did I know I was talking to my future boss. Little did I know, she was actually doing one-on-ones with me during that time. I was being interviewed.
POTF: and you came to Cleveland, you said. Did you know anybody?
DC: Yeah, you gotta go through these programs. I jumped straight in that job. So, I wasn’t even home really 24-hours because I got there that evening, and this was about 10, 11…so by 1pm, I was there. I was working. So I worked there and my fourth day I got a study ticket, what they call…
like, “Hey. Would you like to come speak at this church?”
DC: Okay, well, I went down to see the Employment Specialist to get a handle on a job. While I’m waiting to see him, I hear him talking to this younger guy. This guy looked maybe about 20-21. He was like, “Look…there’s a job opening at this warehouse…” and the dude was like, “Man! Imma have to lift boxes?” He was like, “Yeah, man you can …” He was like, “Man, my back hurt.” He was like, “Man it’s a d@mn job!
I jumped right in, I said “Aye.” I said, “Let me get that job man.” He looked at me and kinda appraised me – I was a lot bigger when I came home too. I’m like, “Look man… I been working out my whole bid. I’m ready for this.” I said, “This $h!t is like a workout to me.” He was like, “Can you be ready to go in a hour?” I said, “Hell yeah!”
POTF: A study ticket?
POTF: Okay
DC: These jobs are through temp agencies and they rotate guys in and out. But after my fourth day there they gave me study ticket like, “We gon’ keep you.” Then I went down to Towards Employment and said, “Hey, I got a study ticket…I need some work clothes and boots.”
DC: Mmhmm
POTF: Let me take it back a little bit because I want to hear more about you and your story. So, I wanted to know more about what it felt like, what was the first thing you did when you came home, cause you’re from Akron, right?
DC: I went down there. I didn’t even do orientation. I skipped orientation at Harbor Light. You’re supposed to do like 14 days…
Matter of fact … these pants here [pats his jeans, and then stands to display them], these Dickie pants was … originally I got to work with, but I still wear them. They got sentimental value.
I was like, “Sure.” Speak at the church. Next thing you know they got me everywhere. And when they learned my story, they were even more interested because it’s like, “Man! You’re fighting for police officer’s unions, correctional officer’s unions? And I’m like, “Yeah!” I said, “Man…I wouldn’t want to live in a community without no police.” I said, “I was locked up with real killers and murderers and rapists.” I said, “And more than that, I wouldn’t want to live in a community where if something happened to me, there’s no EMS, or they have to come from two counties over to get to me, or somebody I care about. You know, these are critical services! They want to take away collective bargaining … this attack on teachers and stuff…but all this collateral damage.”
DC: I stayed at Harbor Light. My second day out I got a job …in Strongsville [at a company that was producing science kits].
POTF: How did you get that job? I mean, coming home and you have a felony.
POTF: They got sentimental value because they were….?
DC: My first clothing that I bought coming home. So, I worked there and I was already enrolled in CSU. I got my FAFSA grants while I was still incarcerated. When
POTF: (laughs)
POTF: What did you do?
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[As a Movement Builder Organizer, Calvert goes out into the community and finds people that are discontent with the condition of their community, want to do something, but don’t know exactly what to do or how to engage, but want to do something. Calvert helps them identity an issue that matters to them, and develop their narrative or personal testimony surrounding the issue.]
DC: Nuh Uhh
POTF: So you were in prison when you applied to all these…?
POTF: So what’s your relationship like with your kids?
DC: Periodically…over time…when they were young, yes. As they got older, smelling themselves, there was huge gaps, but I always wrote letters. I always reached out. Even if it was to cuss them out. But, I maintained some daddy recognition, so when I came home, it wasn’t strange. I just had to come in under that friendship dynamic…more than a dad. But I enjoy a good, rich relationship with my angels.
POTF: You have all girls?
POTF: Okay…and what’s your relationship like with your son?
DC: My son cool, but I kinda pushes him back because… [Pauses]…I was with his mother when I was incarcerated. And I had been with [her] since I was 16…. and she comes from a very [affluent] background… she’s very smart. And sadly, I did kinda hold her back. But when I was incarcerated she went to Case Western Reserve [University], then went down South where she ended up meeting her husband and marrying him. My son grew up very well-to-do; a little sheltered. Not really knowing a lot about me other than what he heard from his cousins. And…when he was 18 stepping out on his own…well prior to that his sister…my daughter…they found each other on Facebook…and he got another side of his dad. He sort of over-romanticized the version of me being out in the game, and stuff, and him being sheltered. He think that $h!t is cool. ….I just told him one day…”[son] you’re not a gangster and you’d get ate up in those elements.” I said, “You want props that you haven’t even earned.” And I said lemme tell you something…”When I was out hustling, I did it because I was really hungry and this was all I really had. And I hated dudes that had mothers and fathers; that had a roof over their head...that was out there just because they wanted to taste the adrenaline and the excitement.” I said, “Them was the guys we preyed on.” And I said, “That’s what you are right now.” He didn’t like hearing that. But it was necessary. I said, “Man, experiences ordain certain things. You don’t have any experience. You should be feeling blessed man, that you didn’t have to go through that $h!t , or be forced into a condition man where you gotta make certain decisions…and you think this $h!t is cool, man, and I don’t respect that. You need to grow up.” So that kinda…
POTF: Okay. How old is he now?
DC: Me and my daughters…we’re super tight. This is one of them right here [shows off a picture of him and one of his daughters from his cell phone screensaver]… we’re tight….We’re a little too cool, I think. ‘Cause sometimes, you know, when I pull out the daddy card they’re like “oh ha ha”…
POTF: Put a wedge…
DC: Yes.
POTF: Yeah. It’s hard to come and fill that role when you’ve been gone for so long…
POTF: Were they able to come visit you?
DC: I have 3 girls and 1 son. My son lives in Boston, Massachusetts.
POTF: Not knowing that you would get out?
DC: I didn’t know if they was gon’ let me out, but held a vision that this was my time. I applied to [the 3 colleges]…all I had to do was show up to each college and sign my paperwork. I walked into the parole board with that in hand. So coming home, I just had to wait for the next semester to start. So, I stayed in Harbor Light for 28 days…and then left.
DC: Got to. Got to.
[Calvert says he saw his son only one time during his incarceration. He did see him born, but he was locked up three days after his birth. Nine to Ten years into his incarceration his ex came to see him out of the blue and brought his son, the perceived family reunion turned sour when she and asked that he sign over his parental rights so that her husband could legally adopt their son. He refused. He considered it as a form a second abandonment. He was never allowed to write or communicate with his son.]
DC: Yeah…but you know, imma keep it real wit you… be mad at me all you want.
POTF: You gotta tell him the truth. That’s your job as a father.
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DC: He’s 20.
DC: That’s why I just had to come in under that friendship dynamic but I maintained contact with my kids. I used to write them, send them poems.
I went to the parole board, I was accepted into Akron University, Cleveland State …I’d also put into Oberlin College, but they didn’t accept me.
POTF: Why do you use the term “returned citizens?”
DC: Words like “ex-con” “ex-felon” all have negative connotations to them. And stereotypes that have been reinforced through fab culture and reality shows and drama like the “Oz”, “The Wire”, and “Prison Break”. And so when you use that label on somebody, to the average mind, those associations bubble up that totally eclipse the human being...their journey to redemption... their journey…their rehabilitation. It negates all of that. Overshadows that. So when you say “returned citizen” that returns dignity to that soul and it speaks to their entitlement as a citizen to fair employment, to fair wages; their entitlement to be a part of community and to be a producer in community. That speaks to that, and that’s part of generating a healthier narrative. And this is important. This is sooooo important on many levels. We must use words that befit us to counteract that negative narrative that other people and other powers create. It starts with your narrative…what you say about yourself…that’s tied to your esteem and how you feel about yourself. How you love yourself….You want to change your life? Change your thinking.
Connect with us! POTF_MagazinePOTFmagazine@POTFmagazinePOTFmagazine@POTFmagazinePOTFmagazine.tumblr.com Daily inspiration, tools, tips, resources and more! 30 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
What’s next for you?
POTF: So what do you want for yourself now?
DC: One of the things I always stressed on the inside was to think entrepreneurial and figure out how to make a career out of the truth that you done lived. For me, this was a manifestation of that intention from the beginning. After December, I don’t know what will happen. What I am is a “possibilitarian.” I believe if you live your truth, if you live authentically, [and] keep investing in the community, I believe opportunities will arrive. I don’t know what opportunities, what form those opportunities will take, but they’ll open up, just as this one did. I would like to continue to be an organizer. There’s a lot of opportunity in organizing around issues that are very germane to the condition of our community right now. Just for returned citizens alone…almost 6,000 every year, return to Cuyahoga County. That number’s been consistent over the decade. If you’re talking about building and empowering community, you have to target this population to help organize it. You have to help create opportunities for employment, offer businesses to this population, because this will determine the overall health and fitness of our community. Period. So to be on the crux of opportunity creation around that...something will happen. Something will manifest. And I’m living as such. I will find work. If I have to go back to a factory, I’ll do that. Just keep it moving. Keep learning. Keep building. Keep making these connections. Opportunities will bubble up. To be honest, I don’t know what opportunities. But I know that success is when preparation meets opportunity. I’m in a perpetual state of preparedness.
[The grant for the program that funds his current position was scheduled to end in December 2012. He dreams of purchasing his first home, continuing to be an organizer, participant in programs, creator of programs, college graduate. He also works with at-risk adolescents at John Adams High School.]
My elevator speech is already done. My story itself is already done...when that door crack open … imma walk right in.
FOOD ADDICTION
is a quiet demon. There is not yet a level of acceptance for food ad diction as there is for alcoholism or drug addiction. As a result, it is packed away in a corner leaving those suffering from it to en dure it alone, uneducated, and unsupported. It’s a sad fact because there is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone can fall prey to it just as easily as they can fall prey to prescription drugs, cocaine, crack, heroin, or any other addictive substance. It may sound like an outlandish comparison—evaluating food and drugs side by side—but the reality is that they do have much in common.
Food addiction is now an accepted diagnosis though with a difficult and tangled web of recovery. While an alcoholic can ultimately abstain from consuming alcohol to recover, a food addict cannot simply stop eating food.
Having an addiction to food isn’t just eating something so much because you love it. It’s
about having an emotional dependency on it and a psychological connection to it. It’s an addiction by every definition. Dictionary. com describes addiction as “the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming… to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.”
It may sound strange, but food addiction shares characteristics that define substance addiction and dependency. Like many illegal drugs, food to a food addict triggers the reward and pleasure centers of the brain. Similarly, one’s “tolerance” for food can increase with frequent consumption. It can produce a dopamine (reward-driven and pleasure-centered) rush that fades
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F OD
quickly after, causing the addict to search ways to continue that high. Not only that, one’s high.inevencould“tolerance”increase,requiringtheaddicttoconsumemorefoodordertoattainaItiscertainlyverysimilartotheexperiencesofadrugaddictoralcoholic.
Story by BEATRICE BACHLEDA
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OD A
The foods usually favored by a food addict are those high in sugar, fat, and salt- the very basic but biologically sought-after ingredients. These typically high-calorie foods and ingredients are what cavemen would consume in large quantity since they never knew when their next meal was coming. It seems almost as if these foods are triggering a biological tendency to gorge or binge in a food addict; and food addicts tend to eat past the point of fullness. The high is so strong that it can shut down any feelings of fullness or satisfaction, enabling the addict to continue consuming even if they stop being hungry.
Food addiction begins in many ways. The most common are by depression or emotional conflict. It has also been shown that exposure to unhealthy foods at a young and impressionable age can pave the way to addiction. A food addict tends to discover that certain food can chase away negative feelings while increasing happiness…and the cycle begins. The more a food addict eats, the harder it becomes to achieve those levels of negative vs. positive QUIET ADDICTION
feelings. The tolerance grows and the food addict finds him or herself searching, seeking, and trying to solve their emotional troubles, and all the while, consuming more food to fill the void.
their food addiction. Just like drugs or other addictive substances, food addiction does not discriminate. An addict may be in front of you in the checkout line and you will never know. It’s important to remember though that even if someone has a tendency to overeat, it does not necessarily mean he or she is a food addict [see Are You a Food Addict? on page XX].
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Like addictive substances, in general, food addiction leads to many negative consequences. Weight gain is an obvious one and likely a contributor to the rising obesity epidemic the country is experiencing (The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a mid-2012 report in which they roughly estimated that 42% of Americans will be obese in the next 18 years). However, average weight people can be food addicts as well. They may simply have a higher metabolism or workout more to offset the calorie intake. They could also be too thin, by struggling with bulimia to combat
Food Addiction can cause lifestyle changes. An addict may be nervous in social situations that include food. They could choose to miss work in order to stay home and continue searching for that high. It can damage relationships, causing the addict to keep secrets or create problems as they have trouble functioning due to withdrawal.
THE U.S. CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION RELEASED A MID-2012 REPORT IN WHICH THEY ROUGHLY ESTIMATED THAT 42% OF AMERICANS WILL BE OBESE IN THE NEXT 18 YEARS
So how does someone seek relief and freedom from food addiction? Though a crack addict can strive to avoid crack, a food addict can’t just stop eating food. Since there are scientific studies that are now proving that food addiction is a real disease, caused by a variety
Yes it’s true. A food addict can experience withdrawal when they don’t have access to their preferred food. Much like a caffeine headache that comes on after a missed cup of coffee, a food addict can experience anxiety, agitation, irritation, hypoglycemia where blood sugar drops causing faintness and dizziness, and other physical symptoms. Not to mention, all the emotional strife and physical problems that can stem from unhealthy yo-yo dieting.
If you need help, or want more information on food addiction, visit the Food Addicts Anonymous website at foodaddictsanonymous.org. There you will be able to access information on any face-to-face meetings in your area, or setup a meeting over the phone or online to get support for your addiction. If you’re in Ohio, call (440) 842-2822.
HEROIN IS NOT GOOD FOR THEM BUT THEY’RE ADDICTED TO IT AND THEY GET TO A POINT WHERE THEY DON’T CARE HOW THEY LOOK OR WHAT IT’S DOING TO THEIR LIFE OR CAREER.”
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IN OUR FEATURED INSPIRATIONAL BOOK, HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY, SINGER/ACTOR/AUTHOR TYRESE GIBSON DISCUSSES HIS ADDICTION TO FOOD AND HOW HE OVERCAME IT. IN IT, HE SAYS “A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T ASSOCIATE FOOD WITHBUTADDICTION,INAWAY, I WAS ADDICTED TO IT. FOOD WAS MY DRUG. IN THE SAME WAY, SOMEONE WHO IS PUTTING HEROIN IN THEIR ARM KNOWS THE
of reasons, there are stronger efforts to create effective treatments. Seeing a counselor is a great first step in determining the cause behind food addiction. If one is using food as a way to erase negative feelings, getting psychological help can aid in finding out why the negative feelings exist. Discovering and avoiding trigger foods help. Studies find that not all foods set off an episode so finding which ones do can go a long way in recovery. Exercise is also an important part of treatment. Addicts turn to food for a high, but exercise also produce a very similar high with much healthier benefits. Most importantly, finding support among loved ones and especially people who are recovering food addicts are what makes or breaks a recovery.
Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous is a support group found in nearly every city across the world. Their principle is based on the twelve steps and twelve traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA) groups are free to join and they always welcome new people. There is power in numbers and aligning yourself with people who understand and want to support you is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.
Exposing kids to unhealthy foods at a young and impressionable age can pave the way to addiction.
ARE YOU ADDICT?FOODA
Food addiction manifests itself in the uncontrollable craving for excess food that follows the ingestion of refined carbohydrates, primarily sugar and flour substances that are quickly metabolized and turned into sugar in the bloodstream.
Due to those uncontrollable cravings, a food addict's quality of life deteriorates when he or she eats sugar, flour or wheat. It can deteriorate physically, emotionally, sociallyspiritually.and/or
If any of the following symptoms are familiar to you, you may be a food addict:
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• Do you steal other people’s food?
• Are you more interested in what food is served at social gatherings than looking forward to the warmth of being with the people attending?
• Have you tried different diets or weight loss programs, but none has worked permanently?
• Do you eat in private so no one will see you?
Social Symptoms of Food Addiction
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Many food addicts are obese and have tried numerous methods for weight control (diets, drugs, surgery, etc.) yet nothing has created a permanent solution. Other food addicts have never been obese. Their physical weight has been controlled by extreme measures such as excessive exercise, purging through vomiting or laxatives (bulimia), or the severe and unhealthy limiting of food substances (anorexia). No matter which version of food addiction fits you, all of these symptoms become more severe with time and eventually lead to physical problems that can create an early and sometimes painful death.
A food addict’s social life is affected by intense obsessive thinking about food. Making eye contact with people and taking an interest in developing friendships or intimate relationships become secondary to locating and eating addictive foods. Food addicts often hide or steal foods and eat in secret.
Physical Symptoms of Food Addiction
• Do you think you cannot control your intake of food, especially junk food or high sugar foods?
• Have you found yourself vomiting, using laxatives, diuretics, or exercising a lot to avoid a weight gain after you have eaten a lot?
• Do you avoid social interactions because you feel you do not look good enough or do not have the proper fitting clothes to wear?
Resources: Need Immediate Help? Food Addicts Anonymous • World Service Office // Ph: (561) 967-3871 • New Jersey // Ph: (732) 244-4324 • New York // Ph: (212) 988-9556 • Ohio // Ph: (440) 842-2822 37 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Emotional Symptoms of Food Addiction
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Diets become our higher power, only to fail us again and again. Some food addicts lose control of their lives and can no longer define reality. With abstinence from sugar, flour and wheat and other high carbohydrate foods, we can find hope to live our lives. Our Higher Power leads us forward, with love to freedom and a happy useful life. Abstinence will open the door, and by working the Twelve Steps, we can recover from this disease.
This biochemical disease is chronic, progressive and fatal. At the later stages of the disease, despair becomes our daily companion. Fear fills us; we became isolated in a room full of people. Many times we attempt to satisfy our soul needs with food, only to find the same emptiness within. As our self-esteem disappears and our health worsens, we search frantically for a way out.
• Do you find yourself feeling depressed, hopeless, sad or ashamed about your eating or your weight?
Food addicts notice that their emotions become more severe, intense, or unreasonable when eating the addictive substances. For many food addicts, emotional life may deteriorate into despair, depression, or thoughts of suicide.
• Do you pray and ask God to help you with your weight, and then feel your prayers aren’t answered?
Spiritual Symptoms of Food Addiction
• Do you feel that life would be fine if only certain people or things would change?
• Do you find yourself eating when you are upset or reward yourself with food when you do something good?
A food addict’s spiritual life is affected by a lack of connection to a higher power, an attempt to rely on self-will, self-obsession, and a general feeling of despair. If you have identified with any of these symptoms, Food Addicts Anonymous may be the place for you.
• Have you ever noticed after eating sugar, flour, or wheat that you become more irritable?
Food addicts find life less manageable or totally unmanageable when eating sugar, flour, or wheat. When we abstain from these substances and work the Twelve Steps of the FAA program, food addicts are able to create dramatic positive changes in the physical, emotional, and spiritual quality of their lives. With abstinence, a more satisfying life awaits you.
Reprinted with permission from Food Addicts Anonymous (www.foodaddictsanonymous.org)
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Do You Have the RIGHT LOOK to Go Veg?
M
Story by BEATRICE BACHLEDA
VEGETARIANSOFTYPES
Breaking vegetarian/vegan stereotypes
ost people think of vegetarians and vegans (commonly called veg*ns for both) as skinny, preachy, free-thinking “tree huggers” (a slang, sometimes derogatory term for environmentalists) who eat rabbit food and threaten to pour red paint over fur coats. They don’t get enough protein. They want to ban meat. They support PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). God forbid you order a steak in front of one of them, or else you better be ready for a longwinded lecture on the horrors of animal slaughterhouses.
MIND & BODY
LACTO-VEGETARIAN
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, FISH, SHELLFISH, NO ANIMAL FLESH OF ANY KIND. EATS EGGS, BUT NO OTHER DAIRY PRODUCTS.
VEGAN
FLEXITARIAN
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, FISH, SHELLFISH, NO ANIMAL FLESH OF ANY KIND, BUT EATS EGGS, AND CONSUMES DAIRY PRODUCTS.
EATS A MOSTLY VEGETARIAN DIET, BUT OCCASIONALLY EATS MEAT, EGGS, AND DAIRY PRODUCTS.
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RAW VEGAN
VEGETARIAN (LACTO-OVO VEGETARIAN)
MACROBIOTIC
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, FISH, SHELLFISH, NO ANIMAL FLESH OF ANY KIND, AND NO EGGS OR ANY TYPE OF DAIRY PRODUCTS.
Here’s what’s not true about veg*ns: pretty much everything mentioned above. While there are veg*n people and businesses who embrace the crunchy granola way of life that defines what most people would consider a veg*n lifestyle, there are many others out there silently engaging in a plantbased diet. They order their mushroom ravioli at dinner without a loud announcement of their diet choices and some of them are even, gasp, StealthRepublicans.veg*nsareamong us, breaking stereotypes left and right. Bill Clinton, former president of the United States of America is a home-grown vegan. Why? His diet of red meat and greasy food was taking their toll on his heart and following not one, but two, heart surgeries, he finally made the choice to go vegan. Now, his health is great. He has lost weight, and he looks like he can live forever; or for as long as Hilary allows him. He doesn’t wear hemp, organic clothing or sport “Luv Vegs” tattoos, while telling off everyone around him for eating meat. In fact, he still holds some influence in Capitol Hill and not one peep about banning meat has been heard from his corner.
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, EGGS, OR DAIRY PRODUCTS, BUT DOES EAT FISH.
OVO-VEGETARIAN
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, FISH, SHELLFISH, NO ANIMAL FLESH OF ANY KIND. NO EGGS, BUT CONSUMES OTHER DAIRY PRODUCTS.
NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, FISH, SHELLFISH, NO ANIMAL FLESH OF ANY KIND, AND NO EGGS OR ANY TYPE OF DAIRY PRODUCTS. ONLY EATS UNPROCESSED FOODS, NOT HEATED ABOVE 115°F.
PESCETARIAN
EMPHASIZE CONSUMPTION OF ASIAN VEGETABLES. NO BEEF, PORK, POULTRY, EGGS, OR DAIRY PRODUCTS, BUT DOES OCCASIONALLY EAT FISH. ONLY EATS UNPROCESSED FOODS, NOT HEATED ABOVE 115°F, AND NO SUGAR OR REFINED OILS.
DON’T GO COLD TURKEY. SLOWLY PHASE CERTAIN FOODS OUT OF YOUR DIET. DON’T TRY TO ELIMINATE EVERYTHING AT ONCE. TAKING BABY STEPS WILL HELP YOU MAKE AN EASIER TRANSITION. I.E. SET A DATE AND STOP EATING PORK; NEXT, SET A DATE AND STOP EATING BEEF; THEN, SET A DATE AND STOP EATING CHICKEN; AND SO ON…
There’s quite a bit of misinformation going around about veg*n diets. The most common one is lack of protein. The truth: meat is not the only source of protein out there. In fact, people are consuming too much protein due to high meat consumption. Protein can be found in legumes like beans and chickpeas, nuts, seeds, whole grains, and food most commonly turn their nose up at: tofu, which ounce for ounce has more protein than a chicken breast. All vegetables have protein in varying amounts so for as long as you eat a diet varied in different types of whole foods, you will meet your recommended amount for protein. It does not mean that one has to eat only rice and beans or do weird mathematical equations with nutritional values.
Another common stereotype is that all veg*ns are animal lovers and environmentalists. In reality, you’ll find that many veg*ns converted from eating meat for health reasons. A plant-based diet has been shown to reduce risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer while extending life expectancy. Veg*ns tend to experience more energy now that their bodies are not working overtime to digest meats. A meat diet can take up to 24 hours longer to digest food than a vegetarian diet, and considering that the a veg*n diet at most takes 54 hours to digest; well, that’s a long time to have that burger in your body.
To many people’s surprise, there are quite a few notables who partake in a veg*n diets. Just to name a few, these are celebrities, politicians, and athletes who chose vegetarianism or veganism: Joe Nameth (NFL Hall of Famer), Rosa Parks (Civil Rights Activist), Richard Gere (Actor), Steve Jobs (cofounder of Apple), Ellen Degeneres (Entertainer), Mark Twain (Author), Vincent Van Gogh (Artist), Paul McCartney (Recording Artist), Sandra Oh (Actress), Fred “Mister Rogers” Rogers (Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood), and Dennis Kucinich (Politician).
Veg*nism is the most environmentally friendly thing you can do. Even if you don’t recycle and could care less about turning the lights in your house off, you’ve pretty much covered your carbon footprint with a veg*n diet. Vegetable and grain crops take significantly less energy to maintain than livestock. Plus, more people can be fed on a vegetarian diet than a meat-based one. It’s easier than ever to be a veg*n with many restaurants listing plant based menu options and whipping up custom dishes if requested. Grocery stores are bringing in more veg*n alternatives and paying
QUICK TIPS
MAKE SURE YOU’RE BEING SAFE WITH YOUR PROTEIN LEVELS.
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FOREST WITAKER (BEFORE/AFTER)
MOST PEOPLE TRY TO GO VEGETARIAN, AND END UP GOING “CARB’ETARIAN”, OVERLOADING ON PIZZA AND PASTAS, WHILE SIMPLY AVOIDING MEAT AND ANY SOURCE OF PROTEIN.
diets tend to assume that all veg*ns eat are salads. This could not be farther than the notbarley.“FAHR-oh”)farroinis"KEEN-wah"),(pronouncedendlessgrainsways.inallofTheremeat-basedifnotfoodstoyouractuallyfromEliminatingtruth.meatyourdishexpandsculinaryworldmanymorethatwouldbeconsideredyouatethesamemeals.isarainbowvegetablestotryeasilypreparedmanycreativeThelistofispracticallyfromquinoawhichgainingquicklypopularity,to(pronouncedandMeatloafisdestinedtobebanned
COMMON CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Blond hair, brown-eyed country diva, Carrie Underwood, a good ole’ Oklahoma girl, has sworn off meat as well. She cites animal rights as a reason. However, like most vegans and vegetarians, she came to discover more benefits of the diet that only cemented her belief in veg*nism. A sweet little country girl who doesn’t eat meat? Unthinkable. But true. She is just one of many unexpected individuals choosing a plant-based diet.
A favorite among veg*ns to set straight is the salad theory. Apparently, most people who are not familiar with plant-based
from the dinner plate when delicious and healthier alternatives can be made with lentils and chickpeas. A veg*n’s palate is expanded and they are all the more worldly and healthier for it.
ANGELA BASSETT
CELEBRITY VEG*NS
attention to consumer calls to offer a variety of produce for the picking. Don’t forget the Farmer’s Market, the ultimate supplier of any diet.
GO FLEXITARIAN!
TRY MAKING 85% OF YOUR FOOD CHOICES BE VEGETARIAN, AND GIVE YOURSELF THE OPTION OF OCCASIONALLY EATING MEAT. TRY LIMITING YOUR MEAT CONSUMPTION TO ONCE PER DAY AND THEN SLOWLY PHASE IT OUT OF OUR DIET.
LOOK FOR VEGETARIAN VERSIONS OF SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE DISHES AND TRY THEM OUT.
RICHARD GERE ANDRE 3000
DOING THIS WILL TRANSFORM YOUR VEGGIES AND OPEN UP NEW TASTE BUDS FOR SOME OF YOUR OLD FAVORITES.
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EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT SEASONING AND SPICES.
BEING A VEGAN TAKES AN EVEN LARGER COMMITMENT THAN COMMITTING TO A VEGETARIAN LIFESTYLE. SLOWLY START TO INCORPORATE VEGAN PRODUCTS INTO YOUR DIET.
BILL CLINTON
GIVE YOURSELF A YEAR AS A VEGETARIAN BEFORE GOING VEGAN.
GET A VEGETARIAN COOKBOOK AND EXPERIMENT WITH NEW RECIPES.
It isn’t that stereotypes are unfounded. Behind every one is a grain of truth. But they are stereotypes for a reason in the end. For every environmentalist veg*n, you’ll find a veg*n behind the wheels of a gas-hogging Hummer. For every animal loving veg*n, you’ll find one who chose the diet purely for its health benefits, and who may, in fact, loathe having a cat or dog in the house. For every preachy one, you’ll find one who is too embarrassed to bring attention to it. You’ll find one who chose it for religious reasons, one who was just raised that way, even one who did it out of spite to their parents or loved ones. Generally speaking, for every one veg*n that fits the stereotype, there will be one, two, even three, who don’t come close. Veg*ns come from all walks of life. Consider the change it may make for you and forget the stereotypes it carries.
YOU CAN’T JUST DECIDE TO ELIMINATE THINGS FROM YOUR DIET WITHOUT MAKING SURE YOUR CONSUMING ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THE PROTEIN, NUTRIENTS, AND VITAMINS YOUR BODY NEEDS. GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE VEG*N LIFESTYLE AND BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF AS YOU ADJUST TO A NEW WAY OF EATING.
ON HOW TO GO VEG*N
READ AND LEARN.
She wished more than anything to be able to talk to her mom about her feelings
Tina was assigned to me as a client for Case Management and Behavior Modification. In our first meeting, her mother and stepfather described their concerns and issues through jaw-dropping accounts of her sexual misbehaviors, acting out, and violent physical outbursts. I remember thinking “Who does all that?” She had been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and ADHD, and often refused to take her medication. After the first meeting with mom and stepdad, I had it set in my mind that when I met this young lady she was sure to be a monster.
Tina was very articulate in her ability to explain her feelings to me, and more about her relationship with her family. She informed me that she had been molested at the age of 7 by a family friend, and that no one believed her; not ever her mother. How she had always been made to feel like the black sheep of the family, and often just wanted to die. She said she ran away because every day she was confined and restricted to her room—from the time she entered the door from school, until she left back out in the morning. Her room contained only a bookdresser,bed,andshelf.
I arrived at the home and got a brief update that included Tina refusing to take her medication, screaming at the top of her lungs, and lashing out physically at her parents.
Finding Purpose
MIND & BODY 43 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Story by MELISA COLLINS
n recent years I had begun to feel discouraged in my search to find my “Purpose”. “What am I on this earth to do?” “What is my calling?”
I always loved volunteering, and working with adolescent girls, yet the jobs I worked did not seem to fill that space. After moving from one unfulfilling job to the next, I became somewhat disheartened and set aside my dreams of finding this thing called “Purpose”. I eventually started a small business doing odd jobs for people. It paid my bills, and I continued to live my day-to-day; but with a constant nagging feeling that I was supposed to be doing more. I decided to take on a part-time job working with young adults at a mental health agency, where I had the privilege of meeting a special young girl (I believe she was 17 years old at the time). For the purpose of preserving her privacy, I will refer to her as “Tina.”
She revealed that she would sneak out to see her boyfriend, who was the only person (that she believed) truly cared for her and believed in her.
I walked judgingly toward the bedroom, preparing myself to meet this “devil child” face-to-face. I announced myself as I entered the room (that no longer had a door) only to find that Tina had barricaded herself behind her bed with pillows. She was lying on the carpet in a fetal position, still visibly crying and shaking; yet she looked up at me immediately. Her eyes melted my soul when we locked gazes for those lengthy seconds. Despite them being red from crying, there was something I saw deeper in them also crying out for help. I sat down beside her on the floor and that’s where we stayed for over two hours talking.
Approximately one week had passed since my initial meeting had taken place with her parents, when I received a frantic phone call from Tina’s mother. She was talking very fast, saying she needed me to come immediately. Mom said that Tina was out of control and she (mom) was feeling overwhelmed and was set to call the police to have Tina re-admitted [to the hospital].
I jumped into my Honda and made the 30-minute drive to their house to attempt to de-escalate a situation I was oblivious to any details about.
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MeLisa Collins is the Author of When I Grow Up I Want to be a Prostitute, Founder and Executive Director of the AS I AM Girls Club, a non-profit program for girls ages 11-17, and has been working in the Social Service field for over 20 years. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Central State University, and a Masters in Non-Profit Management. She is available for seminars, works shops, and open discussions for young girls covering the areas of self-esteem, personal development, character building and self-discovery. For more information about the AS I AM Girls Club or to have MeLisa come speak at your organization, she can be reached at 770-895-3128 or by email at asiamgirlsclub@ yahoo.com. She also maintains general information at her website asiamgirlsclub.org. Currently MeLisa resides in the Atlanta, GA area with her husband and four daughters and is actively involved with growing the AS I AM Girls Club network. Since 2005 the AS I AM Girls Club has worked with hundreds of young girls providing programs, activities, and coaching, including open discussion groups, a Pen Pal program, travel club, workshops and seminars. The goal for the AS I AM Girls Club is to assure that all young girls have something positive to do in their spare time, and learn to appreciate the value of being a girl.
I wish I could say that Tina accepted her behavior plan and went on to become a model citizen, and that her family became the support system that she so deeply needed. However, she did not; and neither did the family. I also wish I could say that she was the last young girl that was referred to me for behaviors harshly mimicking those of Tina’s, but I cannot say that either. Over half of my case load was adolescent girls of which 16 admitted to being sexually abused.
and be heard without being overshadowed by the opinions and dictatorship of her stepfather. I listened intensively so as not to interrupt her thoughts and tried not to break the golden rule of becoming emotionally involved with a “case.” It was hard. She had the sweetest spirit, and her tears were genuine. Before I left that evening, I gave her my number with instructions to call me directly when she felt low, and assured her that I would be there to listen. I thought of her the entire ride home.
I spoke for her in Juvenile Court hearings, school meetings, and at some psychological appointments.
I met with Tina several times after that night; at her school and at her home. The short time that I got to know her, I saw that her behaviors were unmistakably without a doubt linked to her sexual abuse, and her feeling of powerlessness and inability to deal with her pain and receive the proper help she needed. It was also apparent that her feelings of neglect often led to acts of rebellion and other misbehaviors. The hardest part for me was getting the mom and stepdad to see that as well. Along with working with Tina on her Behavior Modification Plan, I fought hard for her need to be heard, and became her voice; which for so long had been silenced.
Her side of the story was being told and decisions were then being made based on the “whole picture”. I was eventually assigned several other young girls while working with that agency, whose behaviors also mimicked those of Tina’s; many admitted to being sexually abused as well. As with Tina, I became their advocate when needed, too.
What Tina’s situation taught me though was to follow my heart instead of just “doing my job.” As I sat one day, again, thinking about my purpose, I realized that working with
Tina, and the other young girls, also helped me to find my purpose. I knew from that day forward, as I playfully scribbled an “A” on the back of my notebook, that my purpose was to be an “Advocate” for girls in need. Advocating gives me the passion to challenge, and the desire to find change for the lives of girls faced with extraordinary circumstances such as theirs. I later left that agency because I knew in my heart the services that were needed for these girls was not medication and locked facilities, but compassion, support, resources, and proper therapy. I then chose to re-ignite my love beenwhogirls—manyforasvolunteeringamsetpreviouslythatnon-profitandvolunteeringformyownIhadaside.Icurrentlyanadvocateat-riskhavesexually
abused—being a voice for them and helping their families with finding the services and resources they need. I realized that my purpose was to help girls and young women understand that their lives also had one—despite anything that may have happened to them in their lives.
"I am ... an advocate forat-risk girls—many whohave been sexually abused."
• find a local event to take part in • get tested • encourage a friend to get tested A red ribbon Awareness Aids is a symbol of 45 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
1) District of Columbia New York Florida Maryland Louisiana Puerto Rico 7) Delaware New Jersey South Carolina 10) Georgia
3)
6)
8)
2)
5)
3)
9)
AIDS 1)
SNAPSHOT: THE U.S. AIDS EPIDEMIC 10 STATES ACCOUNT FOR 71% OF AIDS DIAGNOSIS 46 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
8)
4)
6)
Adapted States, 10with New York California Florida Texas New Jersey Georgia Illinois Pennsylvania 9)
States
By AIDS Diagnosis rate per 100,000 reported in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. dependencies, possessions, and associated nations through 2009.
2)
February 2012 Top
from The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, HIV/AIDS Policy Fact Sheet on The HIV/AIDS Epidemic in the United
4)
Columbia, and the U.S. dependencies, possessions, and associated nations by cumulative AIDS diagnosis
5)
7)
10)MarylandPuertoRico
7% 17% 14.2% 10.7% 4.8% 3.5% 3.4% 3.2% 3.4% 2.9% Percentage (%) of total population reported in all 50 states, the
Top 10 Stateswith New AIDS Cases
Since the first cases of the virus now known as AIDS were reported in the U.S. (June 1981), there have been more than 1.7 million people estimated in the U.S. to have been infected with HIV. Over 600,000 have already died and approximately 1.2 million are estimated to be living with it today. Of all the U.S. states, District of Columbia has the highest AIDS diagnosis rate in the nation. Seven of the top 10 states by AIDS diagnosis rate are in the South. District of through 2009.
While certain groups may be more vulnerable to HIV, the true tragedy of this disease is that it’s not color- (or sexual orientation) blind. People living normal lives, people who go to church, people having familiesbasically anyone could be at risk if precautions and
Breakdown of the New Breakthrough AIDS Pill, At-Home HIV Test
By BEATRICE BACHLEDA
MIND & BODY
For those who might have trouble going to the doctor for an HIV test, there are two at-home tests that can be found easily. One is
here’s a lot of stigma about HIV/ AIDS in the black community. Blacks generally have a higher rate of undiagnosed HIV infections than other ethnic groups. Even though blacks make up less than 14% of the U.S. population, 45% are infected with HIV. That’s a big number! In short, AIDS is the number one killer of blacks age 19 – 44. Still today in 2013, over three decades later, blacks are less likely to be tested for HIV, more likely to be living with HIV and not know it, and less likely to have access to lifesaving HIV/ AIDS medication and services. According to research, of the 1.1 million HIV-positive in the U.S. over 300,000 are uninsured, the majority of which are black.
At-Home HIV Testing: OraQuick & Home Access HIV-1 Test System
Why is it so difficult to stop the spread of HIV; Especially among the black community? Sharing needles for intravenous drug use? Stereotypes? Misinformation? Lack of proper healthcare and insurance? Lack of support from churches, families, and communities? Or an influx of incarcerated marriageable men? The rate of incarcerated black men is eight times higher than white men – which also significantly impacts the epidemic in the black community. In addition to the risky sexual activity in male prisons, add the lonely wife or girlfriend outside waiting on her man to finish his bid that might also engage in risky sex.
Another at-home test is the Home Access HIV-1 Test System ($46$56.) This test requires a swab to be sent to a lab to be tested. 99.9% accurate results are given by phone in two days. By using a code that comes with the test, the person being tested does not need to give
OraQuick ($40.) This test can be done at home with results in about 20 minutes. Its accuracy rate is almost 100% accurate when indicating someone is not infected. However, it is only 93% accurate in saying someone is not infected when they actually are.
HIV/ & THE BLACK COMMUNITY
Truvada was originally used only to treat people already infected with HIV. Taken daily and in combination with protection and counseling, the pill reportedly shows great results in lowering the risk of getting infected. However, it’s not a failsafe. It needs to be taken daily to be effective which may be difficult to remember.
programs provide coverage. Those who are at high risk of transmission such as sex workers, men who have sex with men, and couples in relationships where one partner has HIV and one does not are the best candidates for Truvada. Truvada has a lot of challengers who say there are too many risks associated with the pill that make it dangerous as a preventative option.
The price tag may be another deterrent, potentially costing $6,000 to $12,000 a year though some insurers and Medicaid
steps are not taken. Steps like honesty between partners, being tested, and using protections such as condoms are vital in preventing the spread of HIV, but for many, these steps don’t happen. Fear gets in the way. Fearing of knowing. Fear of being infected. Fear of repercussions in their lives, career, family, and community. These are very powerful feelings. The biggest fear that prevents people from taking the steps to get tested and treated is not being accepted by their loved ones. With such little real information going around, an infected individual could run the risk of being rejected. Unfortunately, the denial and shame prevents people from speaking out and helping to stop the spread of HIV. As a way to reduce some of the stigma, new innovations are being introduced to the public like OraQuick and Truvada.
Truvada: The AIDS Pill
COMMUNITY
While those who know they’re infected take measures to prevent transmission, there’s a percentage of those who will not say –or do - anything at all. That’s the scariest part. We don’t want to go to the doctor. We don’t want anyone to see us at the clinic. Someone….we just don’t want TO KNOW! Don’t be afraid. HIV doesn’t have to be a death sentence. When caught early, treatment results are better and its spread is preventable. There’s no need to be ashamed, but there is a need to be informed. In the end, it all comes down to simple condom protection, honesty between partners, education, and KNOWING YOUR STATUS as the best preventions against the spread of HIV and AIDS.
Another recent development is a pill called Truvada that has been shown to prevent contraction of the HIV virus.
BEATRICE BACHLEDA with KEYANA WILLIAMS
their name or any identification. While both these tests allow for privacy, they are not entirely 100% accurate. They work best at giving an indicator of whether you should take the time to see a doctor.
WHY THE STIGMA IS STILL STOPPING LIVES FROM BEING SAVED
HEART TO HEART
MIND & BODY 49 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Despite the hardships she has undergone, Patrice has big plans for the future: “I want to have the energy to play with my 4 year old daughter and do the things that I no longer have the energy to do. I want to go back to school, and get my cosmetology license and open up my own hair salon. There are so many things that I want to do.”
You have the power to save lives by becoming a registered organ and tissue donor right now or by saying "yes" when renewing your driver license or state ID at the BMV.
Sisters Patrice and Candice Monroe discovered they had more in common than they ever thought possible. As teenagers, they were both diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, a condition in which the heart muscles become enlarged. Patrice was only 13 when she was placed on the national transplant waiting list, and a few years later, Candice was added to the list at age 15. Neither had to wait more than several weeks to receive the new heart they each desperately needed. Unfortunately, after 17 years, Patrice is once again waiting to receive the Gift of Life.
Candice remains healthy since her surgery and recently celebrated the 10th anniversary of her heart transplant, which allowed her the opportunity to earn her Master’s degree. She is currently working for JM Smucker Company. Both sisters are thankful for their donors and their families for giving them a chance to live their lives to the fullest.
For this, and other stories, visit Lifebanc's website at www.lifebanc.org.
Following a routine heart catheterization in January of 2010, Patrice was informed that the left side of her heart was not functioning properly. Four months later, she was suffering the symptoms of heart failure; she could barely breathe and her feet were so swollen she could hardly walk. By July she began undergoing evaluation for a second heart transplant and was officially placed on the national transplant waiting list in September of 2010. She has been patiently waiting since, with a pacemaker to help prevent arrhythmias in her heart until a new one becomes available for her.
Reprinted with permission from Lifebanc.
Special Ideas to Remember and Honor a Loved 10One
The demon of grief can have a long-lasting hold on anyone that has ever lost someone special to them. Whether a death is sudden or expected we are never truly prepared for the void that is left from losing someone close to us. Many of us are scared that our loved one will be forgotten or that our memories will start to fade over time. That is why remembering is so important. Finding ways to remember and honor our loved ones will help preserve those memories and show our loved ones that they are gone, but not forgotten. For us, it is also an important way to help heal our hearts. Below are 10 ideas for you to pay tribute to someone you love and help keep their memory alive for years to come:
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#4: Create a memory box.
#4 #8 #6 #1
Having a quilt made from your loved ones old clothes can be a way of not only memorializing them, but always feeling like they're close to you.
#6: Give.
#3: Have a memorial quilt made.
Include photos and special items that belonged to them or trinkets from things you did together. You can pull it out and go through it whenever you want to think about them. You could even add notes with messages to your loved one or reminders of moments you always want to remember.
#8: Release!
#1: Get together with friends and/or family and share your memories.
Visit your loved one’s resting place and talk to them. Take them flowers. Make sure their headstone and plot are clean and manicured. If visiting is too hard, write a letter. Tell them how you feel and everything you miss about them.
Release balloons with messages on them. You could even try hot air lanterns. On special occasions plan a special dove or butterfly release.
#9: Buy them a birthday gift.
Buy a gift for your loved one on their birthday and then give it to someone who needs it. It’s a great way to pay tribute to your angel by letting them be an angel to someone else.
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Honor his favorite tradition. Listen to her favorite music. Cook his favorite meal. Do all this things and think of them while you’re doing it.
#5: Create a new tradition.
Donate time or money to a relevant cause or charity on their behalf. You could even look into starting a memorial trust or scholarship fund for your loved one.
#7: Talk to them.
#10: Let them be a gift for someone else. What greater gift is there than the gift of life? If ever a time comes that you have the authority to authorize or give consent in relation to the donation of tissue/organs on behalf of a loved one…please consider letting them be a gift for someone else. According to Donate Life America, more than 114,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants and every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list. [See our Heart to Heart conversation on page x]
Talking and sharing with others may help you learn things you didn’t know—and give you a few good laughs! Have a party or small gathering on their birthday or the anniversary of their death and celebrate their life!
Think of something they loved to do, or a place they loved to visit for example, and choose a select day of the month, or year, to do it or go there and make it habit. Go to the movies every fourth Friday of the month. Go to Las Vegas every year. Pick something that’s relevant to your loved one and do it for them.
#2: Spend a day doing all their favorite things.
By KEYANA WILLIAMS
13 QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF IN 2013
MIND & BODY 52 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Seasons come, seasons go, seasons change…and so do people. Before the start of a new year, you should always evaluate and rate the people in your life - family members, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. There may be people in it whose season should be coming to an end. Don’t be afraid to move on. Sometime it’s just not worth it to weather the storm.
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2) Do i have a life or am i just living?
1) What Will my obituary say?
If you died right now, what would your obituary say? Think about it. Try writing it yourself. Are you proud of what it says? Or will your family feel obligated to make up lies to make your life sound more interesting than it actually was? What achievements have you made? Was there a purpose to your life? Did you take advantage of the opportunities life gave you? Did you make a positive impact in the lives of others? What do you want people saying about you when you’re gone? Start thinking today about what your legacy will be. You only have one life to live (unless you happen to believe in reincarnation) so live your best life. No matter how old you are, it only takes a moment to make a lasting impact. Think of what you endstartingwestartingof“bucketyear!accomplishcouldinaCreateyourlist.”Manyusstrugglewiththingsthatneverfinish.Letwiththeinmindbeyour motivation.
4) am i comfortable With myself?
This includes your confidence level, making new friendships and starting new relationships. How are you at even being alone with yourself? Whether you have to start from the inside-out or outside-in, if you find you are not comfortable with yourself, try some activities that will build your confidence and boost mental relaxation, physical calmness and lead to self-discovery. Yoga, meditation, walking and running are budget-friendly ways to get in touch with one’s self.
People who are just living are only waking up every day with no everywakinglifeHavingpurpose.realameansupdaywith a purpose. We say... GET A LIFE! Are you making a life or making a living? Making a life means investing in yourself and in your future; whether that means buying a house, furthering your education, starting a business, or making business investments. Making a living means that while you are earning income, you’re barely making ends meet, or living paycheck to paycheck. Decide what kind of life you want to live.
Think about it. Do you have a life or are you just living?
3) are there people in my life Whose season has passeD?
If it isn’t then you probably think you’re a victim - or you’re just full of excuses. Don’t be a victim to failure. Be a victor! While we can agree that a person’s life is shaped by their life, family, and community, we all have it in our control to make our lives what we want them to be. Blaming your mother, father, race, or lack of money is weak. Up to a point, you have to take some of the blame. Don’t blame the circumstances in your life for your situation.
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Many of us get well into adulthood and still can’t figure out what we want to be when we grow up! You may or may not have had the advantage of getting the experiences and opportunities to figure out all that you could do. It’s never too late to start. Get to know yourself. Be open to trying new things. Take free classes at your local library, take an introductory class at a community center, take a career and personality assessment test... the point is.... you have to explore and experiment and just make an effort to figure out what you’re good at. Even if you haven’t figured it out yet - keep looking!
13) What’s the one thing i Will mainly focus on improving this year?
7) What Do i stanD for?
5) am i the best me i can be?
6) What am i gooD at?
Most of us (if not all of us) have had failures. Even the most successful people in the world have. Write a list of all the failures you’ve had. Next to each, write a reason for the failure. Now look at the list. Is your name somewhere on it?
If you don’t care about the future of your education, healthcare, money, or your civil rights then politics is not right for you. Politics impacts virtually every aspect of your lives…how much we make, what type of healthcare we have, and even who we can marry. If you don’t care about politics, what you’re really saying is that you don’t care what happens to you and you’re okay with everyone else making decisions about every aspect of YOUR life. Really? [Start with the basics. See Political Parties 101 in page x]
Change can be difficult. For most people, it can be overwhelming when you try to make a lot of changes at once. Don’t set yourself up for setbacks. If you need to, take baby steps, and focus in on one thing at a time. Make a list of all the things that you want to improve and just choose one. One small change can lead to huge steps and then giant leaps!
8) What am i passionate about?
Just because you’re good at Math doesn’t mean you have to be a Mathematician. You’ve likely heard sayings, “do what you love and the money will follow,” or “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Those expressions are about following your passions. Just as you should get to know yourself and discover the things you’re good at—you should also uncover what you’re passionate about. Knowing what you’re both good at, and passionate about, could open the door to possibilities you never imagined for yourself. Use your passions to provide you with motivation, direction, and inspiration. I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. – George Burns
11) am i placing the right value on the right things?
What are the three things you value most in life? If Money, Power, and Respect are anywhere in your top three, you may want to reconsider the things you put the most value on. It’s okay to include them in your top 10, but placing value on them—above all else— can lead you to make bad decisions in an attempt to obtain them by any means necessary. What you value is linked to your selfworth so putting all your value in the wrong place can keep you feeling empty.
You may not have a trophy, but surely there were things that mattered to you. Did you get your GED? Update your resume? Start a business? No matter how big or small you think it is, take the time to reflect on your achievements and prepare for future greatness.
9) What is the reason for my failures?
10) Why shoulD i care about politics?
Most of us are guilty of it. We lend a sympathetic ear, but turn a blind-eye to the injustice of others. We don’t think of taking a stand until something affects us personally, or touches a family member or friend. None of us think “it” will happen to us - until it happens. We say…stand for something! You don’t have to turn into the next Rev. Al Sharpton, but be an advocate for something you believe in or support a cause that isn’t your own.
For many of us, a new year means making resolutions. Evaluate the things that will make you the best YOU that you can be. Figure out the best ways for you to physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually get in the best shape of your life! [See our Money section for tips and advice to get you started in becoming financially fit]
12) What DiD i accomplish in 2012?
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WORDS TO LIVE BY
Our behavior affects our future, and we are who we are because of the choices we made in life. Some of us became the products of our environments. If we lived with criticism, we became critical. If we lived in an environment where problems were handled with anger and violence, we practiced that in our lives; we became angry and violent. What we become has consequences.
Consequences can lead you to being someone you never planned on being. If you want different consequences from your life, you need to practice new behaviors and learn to live differently. Become who you were meant to be. You don’t have to be the someone that those consequences led you to be. You can be who you were meant to be.
INTRODUCING PrisoneroftheFlesh.com • Keep updated on EVERY issue • See what’s happening in our Straight from the Streets picture gallery • Access special news features, promotions, contests, and giveaways. • Quick links to Send Us a Story Idea, Submit to Missing Peace, Letters, Ask The Board, and More! 56 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
time of the year for something much bigger. More than anything else, this is a time is celebrated by and reserved for liars. That’s right, LIARS! This is the time of year when all people, regardless of race or background, come together and LIE to themselves and those around them about what they plan to do differently the moment after the ball-dropping party ends. During this week, people make a list of lies—um—“resolutions” that include the breaking of bad habits and the beginning of good ones. Many of these lies pertain to money, as people resolve to save more, spend less, get out of debt or even start a business. Well, here at Prisoner of the Flesh we try to promote truth. And the truth is . . . in order to actually meet any goal you set, you must be realistic. With that said, here are 7 unconventional ways you can improve your finances in the New Year. There is no science or complex financial formula associated with any of these tips—just a little common sense, with a spin.
MONEY
(Unconventional)
The last week of December is the time of year when everyone is coming down from their Christmas day high though,confetti-high,day-after-Christmas-saleandultimateandgearingupforaball-droppingthrowingmidnightparty.InactualitythelastweekinDecemberisalittle-known
GIVE. You’re probably thinking—wait… don’t you mean SAVE? No, I mean give. Now for some of you, that means tithes and offerings at your local place of worship. For others, it means donating to a charity or non-profit organization. The act of giving is extremely important when it comes to managing your money. No matter whether you believe in Jesus or Buddha or Karma, you know that whatever you give comes back to you. Try it for one year and see how your financial picture changes. Think about it like this: whenever you give, you’re simply making room to receive more.
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By JENAE CLARK
CANCEL THE PREMIUM CHANNELS.
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ANSWER THE PHONE.
For those of you unfamiliar with urban lingo, a “rack” equals $1,000 (as referenced in a couple of recent hip-hop club hits). By putting away a rack, you have an automatic emergency fund. This will help you avoid taking out short-term loans (see tip #4) or using credit cards whenever an unexpected expense arises. This also keeps you from borrowing from friends and family, which in the long run will probably help you preserve your sanity and save your relationships. No matter how much or how little income you have, put a small amount aside from each paycheck until you reach $1,000. Even if it takes you six months or more to reach this goal, you will be glad you did it. Once you reach $1,000, set a long-term goal to add money to your emergency fund each month until you have enough to cover 3-6 months of living expenses.
PUT A RACK AWAY.
Have you ever taken a moment to look at an itemized cable/satellite TV bill? For the cost of some of the premium packages, you could buy enough groceries to last for two weeks. And while Basketball Wives and Dexter may seem like necessities, trust me—they aren’t. Actually, the idea is to find ways to cut expenses in all areas of your life. Limit the amount you spend on eating out, and plan a grocery list for meals at home during the week. If you know you have a shoe addiction, RUN from sales and clearance events unless you actually need a new pair of shoes. With any purchase you make, ask yourself: Will I regret buying this (fill in the blank) a week from now? If the answer
WRITE IT DOWN.
Okay so perhaps that is a little extreme, but the point is to avoid short-term, high-interest debt at all costs. Just as you wouldn’t go looking for sexually transmitted diseases because they pose a risk to your health, it is detrimental to your financial health to get into this type of debt. Payday loans, car title loans, and other loans of this type create a vicious cycle of debt that is extremely difficult to break. Because of the extremely high interest rates and loan fees, many borrowers find themselves taking out a second loan to cover the cost of the first one. This is why it is extremely important to establish an emergency fund—otherwise; you may feel that a payday or title loan is your only option when you need a significant amount of cash. If you get to a point where you have exhausted other less-damaging options, check with your bank or credit union. They may have a loan option that has a lower interest rate and does not require a perfect credit score.
You may have a valid reason as to why your bills fall behind—temporary unemployment, unexpected expense, or family emergency. For those of us who have had the distinct pleasure of dealing with bill collectors, you know the experience is less than pleasant. But, the WORST thing you can do is ignore them. No matter how much you send them to voicemail, throw away those red envelopes and ignore the “Restricted” number that calls you at 11:36 a.m. every day, you cannot avoid facing the debt. Instead of running from the bill collectors, try something different—actually answer the phone. From the utility companies to credit card companies, most bill collectors have the ability to provide you with a few options to repay your debt. Even if you don’t have a dime to put towards the debt at the time, communication can often serve as a form of payment. When you talk to customer service representatives and bill collectors, it shows that you care about the money owed and that you intend to pay it when you can. Keeping the lines of communication open with bill collectors may save you from more severe debt consequences such as repossession, judgments, and wage garnishments, not to mention it will help you to better preserve your credit.
THINK OF PAYDAY LOANS AS STDS.
Now most people understand the importance of creating a budget, but simply creating a budget may not be enough. It is important to document everything you do financially—starting a budget that is practical for your lifestyle and income. Whether you keep detailed notes on bills and expenses in a spiral notebook or in a complex Excel spreadsheet hardly matters, as long as your budget method works for you. In addition to your main weekly or monthly budget, write down your plans or “mini budgets” for vacations, holiday shopping, or large purchases. If you haven’t had much success with finding a budget format that works for you, search the internet for suggestions. Remember; find what works best for you.
FOLLOW YOUR ANDHEARTGRIND.
If you love to paint, try selling some of your artwork at a local festival or marketplace. If you love doing hair and makeup, get some of your family and friends to model your styles and have them pass out flyers or business cards whenever someone asks them about their hair or makeup. If you love to sing, find a small lounge or pub that may need some live entertainment and sing for tips. And if you love sharing your unconventional opinions and giving advice, try submitting articles for publication to a cutting-edge magazine. That’s what I did.
Everyone is passionate about something— the key is to figure out what moves you and how you can use it generate additional income. I am not suggesting that you quit your job with health insurance and paid vacations to become a starving artist (because that’s just crazy.com) but I do suggest finding ways to make money while doing what you love. The point is to do something you love, even if it doesn’t seem very profitable at first. You will find that the more you love something, the more energy you will pour into it. And eventually, you will see your passion translate to dollars.
is yes, then quickly place it back on the shelf (or close that window if you’re shopping online) and step away from the merchandise.
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MONEY 1. I will create a monthly budget and stick to it! How? • Estimate your monthly income • List and estimate your monthly expenses. • Subtract your expenses from your income. • Set priorities and make necessary changes You may need to cut expenses, increase your income, or both. Putting it on paper will help you see where you might be able to save and where you need to cut back. 2. I will commit to generating savings. How? • I will save $_______________ from every paycheck. • In order to save you may need to create a plan to cut your spending in some areas. For instance… eating out less. 3. I will learn to spend smarter. How? • Buy only what you need • Make a grocery list and stick to it • Shop online and compare prices • Pack lunches and snacks instead of eating out • Don’t be scared of coupons 4. I will take better control of credit and debt. How? • Get all 3 of your credit reports i. Equifax: (800) 685-1111 ii. Experian: (888) 397-3742 iii. TransUnion: (800) 916-8800 iv. Free annual credit reports www.ftc.gov 5. I will become more financially literate. How? • Read and research • Take free classes offered at your local bank or library The 5 Financial Resolutions You need to make today! 60 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
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Claude Bailey puts a value on what he is willing to spend on an item, but that doesn’t mean he sacrifices getting what he wants. Shopping at stores like Gabriel Brothers helps, “Why pay $70 for a silk tie, when you can get it for $3.99?”
Claude says, for a lot of people, it’s about pride and ego.
ANYONEFORWHOWANTSTOSAVEMONEY,GETANDSTAYDEBTFREE
Gabriel Brothers is a discount fashion retailer with 38 stores throughout Kentucky, Maryland, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and West Virginia offering up 70% off department and specialty store prices on brand name designer goods and apparel. They get deliveries 2 to 3 times per week and new merchandise is stocked every day. They even offer a rewards program where you can get points for every $1 you (www.gabrielbrothers.com)spend.
MONEY REAL ADVICE AND TIPS
By KEYANA WILLIAMS
Just paying the minimum of every debt will get you nowhere. Look at your debts and put them in order from smallest to largest amount owed (i.e. $500, $1,000, $1,500, and so on). Make the minimum payment on all your debts monthly—except the smallest. You’re going to take your lowest debt and pay more on it towards paying it off. For instance, if the minimum is $15, pay and extra $85. You are going to do this every month until your lowest debt is paid in full. Once that debt is paid off, that $100 moves on to the next debt. Repeat this process and watch how quickly your debts will be paid off.
THE ENVELOPE SYSTEM
F
According to Claude, the first step to getting debt-free is to face up to it. Establish that you are in a bad situation. Realize that your expenses are more than your income. Put it on paper to really understand and own up to your situation. Look at much debt you really have, Claude says “it’s eye opening when you see it on paper.” Still, he urges to look at it often. Once you see what you owe and who…the next step is to establish a plan. The Bailey’s use what they call The Snowball Effect and The Envelope System.
As the Director of Student & Partner Services for a Cleveland-based non-profit andorganization,aPharmaceutical Sales Rep, Zerrine and Claude respectively each earn a modest, yet respectable income. A few years ago, when Claude lost his job and became unemployed, they managed to still keep their heads above water – and Zerrine managed to still keep getting her hair done weekly. The Baileys were able to weather the storm because they never lived above their means. They developed good habits that have allowed them to live a good life and thrive in situations that many of us would crumble in. As someone struggling with bad financial habits of my own, when I needed some realistic advice on what I could change in my life to become more financially fit, I turned to the Bailey’s. This is the advice and tips Claude gave to me, and I am sharing it with you!
or over a year, I worked alongside a woman named Zerrine Bailey (who I’ve come to love and adore as a sister). Zerrine, is one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met. She is a 40-something, half African-American, half Indian unassuming beauty, with a polished look and impeccable style. In our time working together, I don’t think I could say that I’ve ever seen her repeat the same look twice. If you ever see Zerrine, you’ll find her dressed in precisely coordinated ensembles, accented with the perfect accessories, from shoes, to earrings and handbags. She coordinates her work schedule around her weekly hair appointments and never misses a mani/pedi appointment.
None of us want to have to give up our little luxuries or spending money on the things that make us happy. Determine what expenses you have each month for things like nails, hair, entertainment, eating out, and even gas. Grab a stack of envelopes and label one with each item. Take the total amount of money you need out of the bank/ ATM. Divide the money and place it in the envelopes. For instance, if you budgeted $50 for your hair, place $50 in the envelope marked “Hair”. If you budgeted $25 for eating out that week, place $25 in that envelope. The money in the envelope is considered your budget for that item. Once that envelope is used…that’s it. No swiping your card. No adding more money. It takes a lot of dedication and commitment, but it’s a sure way to stick to your budget.
Her husband, Claude, is a handsome and distinguished-looking African-American man. His wardrobe mostly consists of
designer suits and silk ties. On more than one occasion he’s been asked whether or not he was pastor of a church.
BRAND FROM PRICE EST. RETAIL PRICE Tie Jones New York Gabriel Brothers $4.00 $29.00 Shirt Modena Gabriel Brothers $8.00 $39.00 Suit Lineage Value City $80.00 $185.00 Shoes Giorgio Brutini Milano $50.00 $95.00 $142.00 $348.00
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There were a few things that Claude told me to keep in mind when thinking about my financial situation. The first thing he said to me was to remember that, “You don’t set a budget to stop living; you set a budget to manage your expenses. You can still have a good life; but you have to smart about it.”
A lot of us tend to view being on a budget as a bad thing; a form of punishment. For The Bailey’s, being on a budget is a lifestyle choice.
THE SNOWBALL EFFECT
• STOP WRITING CHECKS.
• PUT A BUDGET ON EVERYTHING AND DON’T GO OVER IT. PERIOD.
How would you feel if someone borrowed from you and never paid you back? Creditors give to us trusting that we will pay them back.
• PUT A VALUE ON EVERYTHING.
How many times have you written a check – or swiped your debit card and then forgotten about a purchase you’ve made or a pending transaction…and then overspent? Claude says that by stopping the use of checks and using credit versus debit, you can see your money and transactions in real time.
• SET UP EMERGENCY FUND.
• IF YOU GET SOMETHING ON CREDIT, IT DESERVES TO BE PAID BACK.
Have a MINIMUM of $1,000 in your emergency fund. Have automatic monthly or biweekly payments go directly into your savings account – that way you won’t miss it. We should be saving at least $50 or $100 from each paycheck for emergencies like car or home repairs.
Set a limit on what YOU are willing to spend on an item. Just because companies put a value on it, that doesn’t mean that’s what it’s worth. Claude says that going online and looking up the designer/manufacturer of an item you want and searching sites like eBay is one way to save on the items you want; but you have to be patient.
HERE SOME OF THE INFORMATION CLAUDE GAVE ME THAT I THINK CAN ALSO WORK FOR MANY OF YOU. I’M CALLING THEM IT TAKES 30 DAYS ESTABLISHTOANEWHABIT.BEFOREYOUKNOWIT,BYMAKINGSOMEOFTHESESMALLCHANGES,BEINGFINANCIALFITWILLBEYOURLIFESTYLE.FORTHOSEOFISLOOKINGTOSAVEMONEY,GETANDSTAYDEBT-FREEITWILLBEHARD.THEREMAYBETHINGSWEWANTTODO,BUTCAN’TDORIGHTNOW.THEKEYPHRASETHOUGHISRIGHTNOW.BEPATIENT.ACCORDINGTOCLAUDE,BEINGRESPONSIBLENOWWILLPAYOFFLATER. 63 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
• STOP WASTING MONEY ON THINGS YOU DON’T USE. If there are features on your cell phone you don’t use, channels from your cable provider that you don’t watch … get rid of them.
• STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY AND THEN PAYING BILLS. Being responsible with your money has to be a priority.
• LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS, NOT ABOVE THEM.
• COOK AT HOME AND STOP EATING OUT. Going out to eat should be a treat. Claude suggests packing a lunch for work daily and fixing yourself a sandwich once you get home to tide you over until dinner if you have to.
Thank You to Our Troops
Thanking Our Troops Past, Present, and Future for Your Commitment, Service, Bravery and Our Freedom. You put your lives on the line for ours. -Salute!PrisoneroftheFleshMagazine
AND GET SOME NEW NEIGHBORS!
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"Keeping up with the Joneses" is a saying that refers to trying to match someone else’s lifestyle. “The Joneses” are the people we are exposed to (family, neighbors, friends, celebrities, and even strangers) that trigger our desire to get what they have. We compare ourselves to the Joneses and the material things that they have; failing to ‘keep us with the Joneses’ means that you are inferior. People have been accused of trying to keep up with the Joneses, but has anyone suc cessfully done it? No! Why? Because the Joneses aren’t real! The Joneses are fictional characters from a comic strip featured in several newspapers in the early 1900’s. The ‘Joneses’ were the neighbors of the comic strip's main characters, and were always spoken of, but never actually seen.
MONEY
STOP TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH
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media plays a huge part in our obsession to keep up with them. The Joneses are all over Facebook showing off pictures of their fancy cruises and highpriced food. As much as we like to see, we also want to be seen. It's part of an “if you have stuff, flaunt it” mentality that throughliveIt'supseethoseSometimes,timejealousmaketheeveryoneLet'sMTVshowsspawnslikeCribs.faceit;hasimpulsetopeoplefromtotime.whoit,lookitwillingly.anurgetovicariouslythe
The mainstream media presents us with Joneses every minute. Every commercial you see presents us with a Jones. One might advertise the best looking car with everything in it short of a kitchen and a bathroom (then the RV commercial comes on). One might tell you how much you need the best TV with surround sound, HD, 3D,
The Joneses reside on Best of the Best Boulevard. They are everywhere and people, want to keep up with them no matter the cost—even if they don't want to admit it.
John Jones (the dad), Jane Jones (the mom), Johnny Jones (the son), Jill Jones (the daughter), Jasper Jones (the dog), Jingle Jones (the cat), Jaws Jones (the fish). They have the perfect life; the perfect marriage; the perfect kids; lots of money, and they always win. They have it all – and then some. Everything they have is better and faster and we all want what they have.
We all know a Jones. He's the guy who has the sleek Ferrari with leather seats and surround sound while you have the old minivan with leftovers of your kid's snacks between the seats. She's the girl in your daughter's class with all the latest fashions, jewelry, and also had the Sweet 16 that was equal to a Hollywood Oscar party (and was still strangely even less entertaining and even more irritating) while your daughter just had a few of her friends over for pizza and a cake. He's the guy who has the super expensive cell phone with all the latest apps and features (which he of course upgrades with each new version) while you still have the cell phone that is, well, just a phone.
and every channel available. Heck, even TV shows get in on the act; from the 80s cartoons that were pretty much toy commercials to today’s “reality” shows like My Super Sweet
Today,16.social
For many of us, it’s our guilty pleasure to scroll through page by page on Ins tagram, looking into the lives of even perfect strangers, and passionately posting our own purchases and plates for all the world to see.
In a way that's a good thing. They helped inspire people to excel. They give people another reason to work harder and do better. For some of us, even as kids, they inspired us to work harder. To study for a test a little harder so we could get our parents to buy us that toy Johnny Jones had at his house. To clean up without being asked so we could get the money for the latest pair of sneakers the day they came out. The Jones gave us something to aspire to, a goal to aim for. However, keeping up with the Joneses can have a dark side, especially when you're willing to do anything to keep up.
Of course, this dark side doesn't always reveal itself in ways that hurt other people, sometimes, we just hurt ourselves trying to keep up. Keeping up with the Joneses sometimes means trying to alter our physical bodies. Sometimes, this could mean getting radical and expensive plastic surgery. Other times, it could be less obvious, like trying to lose weight or build muscle for example. These aren’t bad things in and of themselves. However, when a person's desire to be skinnier or more muscular than the people around them (or that they see in the media) becomes all consuming, it can very easily turn life threatening. How many women have literally starved themselves to death trying to be as thin as that girl in the magazine? How many men have died taking steroids to improve their bodiesIt'sperformance?notjustourthatcan be damaged by this dark side, but the family billionhavecredit,on2011FederalAccordingcreditdrowningAmericansfinances.areincarddebt.totheReserve'sG-19reportconsumerAmericansnearly$800indebt.Most
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local Jones family. If you can think of it, the Joneses have the best of it and you have, at one point or another wanted it; often before you even thought about it, and whether or not you truly need it. Why do the media keep introducing us to this awesome family to get us to buy things? It works. We all have at some point seen something on TV and wanted it. Even if we never got the motivation to actually go out and buy it, someone else in our neighborhood or personal life did, and then we went out and bought it or the “better” version released a month later. This is “conspicuous consumption” early 20th century economists defined it as “buying luxury goods to show prestige to their peers.” To put it simpler, buying crap you don't need to impress the neighbors. Corporations make a killing off it. And it's not a new thing.
The Joneses have been with us since ancient times (though probably under a different name. Today, think Kardashian). The Egyptians wanted each pyramid to be better than their predecessors. Kings wanted more land than the other kings. Greeks and Romans wanted to throw more extravagant parties than the other guy. Renaissance people liked buying the best artwork. Early Americans wanted their own stretch of farmland and a nice wooden house. Now, we have a nice suburban house, a family four (with a hot wife and two college bound honors students with trophies for everything), and a nice car. You could go as far as to say that keeping up with the Joneses is basically the American dream. The Joneses have always been with us.
In the modern world, you don't have to go far to see what happens when wanting to keep up with the Joneses turns destructive. Our jail cells are filled with people who got consumed by wanting what the people around them had so badly, they were willing to hustle, lie, cheat, steal, and kill their way to the top and into the Joneses favor. They could be the kid who got caught shoplifting the latest game from the GameStop. They could be the gang member who got caught stealing a nice car. They could even be a guy who got so wrapped up in wanting something he didn’t have he ended up taking someone’s life.
All of our ancestors recognized this. All the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) have a commandment against coveting the things their neighbors had. Thou shalt not covet. There are stories of how keeping up with the Joneses of the day led to unspeakable crimes in those religious traditions. King David had his neighbor Uriah killed for his wife. He lost his first son and his reign after that point was a complete mess. In the first Kings, King Ahab
had his neighbor Nabath killed for his land. The New Testament writer James goes as far as to say coveting causes wars (both within ourselves and with nations). Eastern religions like Buddhism say similar things about letting desire to have all the latest things lead to doing wrong by our neighbors. It's amazing when you think about it; though thousands of miles and a few millennia apart, all of these traditions recognized that an all consuming desire to keep up with the neighbors can be incredibly destructive.
and break free of the Jones' hypnotizing hold. Here's the most important one: Be grateful for what you have. You've probably heard this from your parents, but people could really stand to hear it more often. If you're mad that you don't have the best car, remind yourself that there are people living in places that don't have roads, or you could be on the bus. SO WHAT! if you don't have the biggest house on the block; there are people who don't have houses - PERIOD.
of which is credit card debt. Most likely it's because they're living beyond their means. They buy all the latest gizmos and gadgets for themselves and their kids and charge it to credit. It's not just credit card debt though. A lot of the blame for the housing crisis can be placed on people trying to buy houses they had no way of affording. They keep up a lifestyle they can't afford so no one thinks they have less but when the house of cards comes crashing down, it crashes hard. Many families have been ruined in an all consuming quest to keep with the Joneses. Why do people do this? People can get this stuff without living beyond their means. Sometimes, they just don't think ahead. They buy this stuff hoping that somewhere down the line that a new source of income will come in. Other times, they don't want to make the sacrifices it takes to get the means to get the things they want. They don't want to save the money or take the classes they might need for a promotion. Our society emphasizes instant gratification; and sacrifice is a dirty word. Sometimes, they just don't want to risk someone thinking they don't have money and risk social standing, or public image.
The Joneses are a double-edged sword. It's healthy to aspire. It's healthy to have goals. It isn't healthy to let what other people have consume you. It’s time to move away from the Joneses over to a nice house on a street called Perspective Avenue, off of Reality Road. You'll be happier that way.
[In another section] you'll be given some money saving tips to stay or get out of debt
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Story by JENAE CLARK
for how I would spend my newfound “wealth” (and I use that term loosely), my momma quickly shut all of that down when she informed me that I would now have to pay the insurance on the car that she was letting me drive, and I would need to buy my own gas. Crap! And just like that, there went my fake gold earrings and Oreo cookie shakes.
bout a year and half before my 18th birthday, I was fortunate enough to land a job—my very first—at a popular retail store. I won’t say the name, but let’s just say it rhymes with “Marget” and has a red and white bullseye logo. Anyway, when the hiring manager told me that they were going to pay me a whole $6.85 an hour, you would have thought that I hit the Megamillions Jackpot---that’s just how excited I was. If I worked my average 20 hours a week, then I was going to make over $100 per week! This would allow me to support my rather expensive Jack in the Box (a fast-food restaurant primarily in the West Coast) habit AND still have money left over to buy that black split-upto-my-thigh skirt that Aaliyah was wearing in her music video (Ok, so I might be revealing my age here, but just stay with me). Then if I worked a little extra on the weekends, I could buy some lipstick, fake gold earrings from Claire’s, and some new CDs. This “nameless” retail store paid us weekly and also allowed us to cash our checks right there in the store. Needless to say, when I got my first paycheck for $129 my swag immediately hit a hundred thousand trillion. You couldn’t tell me NOTHIN’! I remember stuffing the two-fifties, one-twenty, onefive, and four-ones in my pocket and speeding home in my Toyota Tercel Ashatchback.Iplanned
ARE YOU MENTALITY?DOWNPASSING OR A
Based on my experience with my first job (and my first paycheck) you can clearly see that I had absolutely no idea of what I really should have done with my money. Each week, the vicious cycle repeated itself—cash paycheck in the store, purchase clearance items and other meaningless merchandise from said
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know, there’s not much in life that falls in the free category. Anyway, the representative told me that all I had to do was fill out a one-page form with my social security number, current address and date of birth to see if I qualified for a Discover card. That’s all I had to do for a free t-shirt? Sign me up! I thought. I repeated this same process a couple of weeks later with a Visa representative (I think he was giving away restaurant gift certificates) and at the end of it all I had a whopping $1,250 worth of credit.Although my parents had taught me about earning money and saving money, I don’t think we ever even had a conversation about credit cards when I was growing up. So I considered that $1,250 in newfound wealth—“free” money. Of course when I realized that my part-time job at the coffee shop wasn’t enough to stay on top of my minimum payments, and that the interest and late fees cost more than the value of all the shoes in my closet, I changed my view of things.
Simply put, my parents did what they could to teach me about money, but their knowledge was very limited. To their credit, they taught me the value of working for money at a young age by “paying” my siblings and me for extra chores around the house. They also taught me to set aside tithes every time I got “paid” and encouraged me to save my money instead of spending it on Now and Laters and bubble gum (I rarely followed their advice on this). But unfortunately, I had no clue how money really worked, and had no concept of what wealth really
Let’s fast forward again—and now I’ve graduated from college with two credit cards in collections, multiple blemishes on my credit report AND thousands of dollars in student loans (I won’t touch the subject of student loans—there’s not enough space in this article for that). My rude awakening came when I discovered that these credit imperfections would stay with me for AT LEAST seven years—if not longer—and would impact my ability to get an apartment, buy a car, or finance anything of Unfortunately,value.
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Fastmeant.forward
the stories I’ve shared are only a glimpse into my money failures. I love my parents, and they did the best they could with the knowledge they had, but I needed much more
a couple of years. As an EXTREMELY broke college student, I was a sucker for anything free. So one spring day, a neatly-dressed company representative was in the lobby of my dorm giving away “free” t-shirts. Notice the word FREE is in quotations, because as we
And now we get to the underlying question: Why does this matter?
[Thinking wealthy doesn’t mean living above your means. Thinking wealthy, or having a wealth mentality, includes budgeting, saving, increasing earnings, planning for the future and being responsible with credit.]
store, and then hope that I had enough for gas and insurance. While I’m very thankful for parents who raised me well, and generally led by example, I was like so many others—first generation “barely-not-poor.” What that vague term really means is that both of my parents worked, we usually had everything we needed, and had some of the nicer things in life—sometimes. I’m not sure if that’s considered working or middle class, but that was the state of my family. However in contrast, my parents were both raised in severe poverty, and often went without some of life’s necessities. Their parents were not educated, and both mommyand dad were the first in their family to pursue higher education.
Warn teenagers about the danger of getting a credit card before you get a full time job. You don’t have to be a CPA or certified financial planner (I certainly don’t claim to be either one). Just share what you know about credit and remind them that the decisions they make with their credit will impact them years later.
information on how money worked. I lived for many years with a poverty mentality, and this mentality dictated the decisions I made with my money.
Lead by example. If members of the younger generation see you with payday loan receipts (again, see the article on Money Tips) and 20 pairs of Air Jordans, then chances are they won’t be very eager to listen to your money advice. Share your story with them of your own personal journey, and the lessons you’ve learned, and tell them what you do now to display a wealth mentality. Most importantly, like any other battle we fight in life, the battle
For those of us who have made many mistakes with our money in the past (and the present) we can start today by forming better habits (see 7 Unconventional Money Tips for the New Year) preparing our future generation by giving them a wealth mentality.
I, like many others, have learned some hard lessons when it comes to money management and wealth building. And it brings me to this conclusion—passing down a wealth mentality to the next generation is vital for their success. Period. There’s no way around it.
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Make it a point each day to “think” wealthy and you will find over time you will make better financial decisions and be able to pass the wealth mentality on to the next generation. And if nothing else, avoid free t-shirts and restaurant vouchers—they’re sooo not worth it!
Talk to your kids, nieces, nephews, and neighbors about the importance of spending far less than you earn. If you make $1,000 a month, you should not spend $990 a month. Show the younger generation how to create a budget.
PRISONER OF FLESHTHE Giving You the Tools to Break Free! PRE-ORDER PREMIERETHE ISSUE OF PRISONER OF THE FLESH MAGAZINE TODAY!Foralimited time only Buy One, Give One FREE! Do you know someone battling an issue? Someone that could use some motivation andGiveinspiration?themthetools to Break Free! As an introductory offer, when you buy an advanced copy of the premiere issue of Prisoner of the Flesh, we’ll throw in a 2nd copy that you can give to someone you know – for OfferOnlyFREE!$4.99endsJune 1, 2013.VISIT PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM TO ORDER TODAY! By mail at: Prisoner of the Flesh, LLC 16781 Chagrin Blvd, Suite 446 Shaker Heights, OH 44120 THE PREMIERE ISSUE
MBA - Master of Business Administration
Power Player Spotlight: WilsonMiesha
• Web: www.nulifefitnesscamp.com
AFAA - Primary Group Fitness Certification
I’d been acquainted with who Miesha Wilson was when I signed up for her fitness camp several years ago. She had just opened her second Nu Life Fitness Camp location in downtown Cleveland, and had a reputation for getting results out of her clients. A lot of Black men in women in the Greater Cleveland area were starting to jump in on the health and fitness movement and she was at the forefront. Nu Life offered a welcomed alternative to another fitness camp in the area known for whipping clients into shape by beating down their self-esteem. Her approach was based around making her clients accountable and empowering them to start a new life. byPhoto BIASHERB
• Name: Miesha Wilson
• Oldest of 8 siblings
only sibling at the time) was placed in foster care. They stayed in foster care for a while until being shuffled from relative to relative before finally going back home to their mother. It took several years.
Social services removed her from her mother’s home and she (and her
he started the business 7 years ago and in those 7 years has grown from one location to 3, alongside her husband, Demetrius Wilson who is also an entrepreneur (he owns a bar & lounge).
STATS:
• Married to Demetrius Wilson, 4 ¼ years
AFAAEDUCATION:-Personal Fitness Trainer Certification
by KEYANA WILLIAMS
By her account, not even one year after being back at home, her mother became addicted to crack cocaine. During that time with her mom, Miesha says she would spend days and weeks out of school, as
• Age: 33
She’s always on the go, traveling between her 3 Nu Life locations, work for Nu Life Printing, and her duties as a wife and mother, so it was a challenge to catch up with this busy business woman. On the
AFTA - Certified Nutrition Advisor
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BBA - Organizational Management
• Mother of 4 (includes 2 bonus children): 23, 20, 11, 1 ½
• Business: Nu Life Fitness Camp, Nu Life Printing
• Grandmother of 1: age 3
outside looking in, her success story seemed fast and easy. But in hearing her story, you realize that her life has been riddled by hurt, pain, betrayal, and disappointment – all stemming from her parents – when at the age of 4, she told her mother that she was being molested – by her father. He was arrested, but never really served time.
Miesha went on to attend Cuyahoga Community College (Tri-C) for an Associate’s degree in Business. From there, she attended Tiffin University and got a Bachelor’s degree in Business, and then a Master’s from Indiana Wesleyan University.
So, how did she get into the industry?fitness
answer. Miesha says she turned around and went to the mall instead – and never looked back. The rest is her Onestory.day, a co-worker told her that his wife wanted to know if Miesha would be willing to come to train her in their home. She says she
She grew up in the hood, and in the heart of the projects, but Miesha shows us that it’s not where you come from (or what you’ve been through) but where you want to go, and how you want to get there. She leaned on her education to make it during those hard times in her life. A self-proclaimed “nerd”, school became her outlet. She loved to learn, and says maintained straight A’s in school. She wanted to be a Psychiatrist, but says she inadvertently fell into business instead. She calls it “God’s plan” because she never wanted to own a business. She wanted to run someone else’s business, but never dreamed of running her own.
Miesha was attending another woman’s fitness bootcamp for several years as a dedicated member when that woman eventually approached her to teach classes at her center. They were both busy, so the opportunity never materialized.
Today, andhasproudlyMieshasaysthathermotherbeencleandrug-freeforover15years.Hergrandmother(whoshecallsherangelonearth)isstillfulloflifeandlivinginthehousethatsheraisedMieshain.WhatmakesMiesha’sstorydifferentfromsomany growing up in similar circumstances is her resilience, and determination to move beyond her circumstances. She credits the things she went through in life with making her who she is today, vowing that she never wanted to live in poverty, and never wanted to be broke. That pushed her
her mother dragged them from “crackhouse” to “crackhouse” while she fed her habit.
When she was 8, according to Miesha, her mother was really strung out on drugs. At the time, they were living in some of Cleveland’s most dangerous housing projects. Miesha recounts the day a drug dealer, her mother apparently owed money to, came into the home and held them hostage. Her mother locked them in the bathroom for hours upon hours, until she got the idea to squeeze Miesha through a tiny window in the bathroom and send her for help. She ran to a payphone, dialed “0”, and made a collect call to her grandmother. A short time later, her grandmother and great-aunt came down with shotguns and pistols and threatened his life, until he let them go. From that point, she never lived with her mother again. She moved in with, and was raised by, her grandmother for the next decade.
goinggoingsimultaneously,Whileworking,toschool,beingamom,andworkingout,thecommutestartedtobecometoomuch.Everymonth,shekepttellingherselfshewastoquitgoingtothatfitnesscenter.Onthewaytoworkoutoneday,sheattemptedtocalltheownerofthegymtobreakthenewsthatshewasn’tgoingtorenewhermembership.Shedidn’t
After graduating from high school,
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She credits grandmotherherwithsavingherlife.
and motivated her. She wanted to be an inspiration and role model for her family to show them that despite their circumstances, how they grew up, what they went through, that they could do more – be more.
MW: I always have new projects coming up! We just launched our first line of DVDs, which is a big deal for me. I’ve been asked to do this for years and I would not do it. We launched our first line of DVDs and they’re doing really well. We’re already thinking of the next DVD that we want to put out. We just finished franchising the business legally, so we can actually sell franchises all over the country now…
A guy that she was dating at the time told her about a property that
MW: Treat people how you would want to be treated. I just show empathy and I care. You have to care about your customers and they’ll know it.
POTF: What does being a business owner mean to you?
to form and before long she was going around the city training small groups of friends and families in their homes. She says it was exhausting, “I taught a group at my house at 5:30 a.m. in the morning, I went to work from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m., and then after that I had a group at like 5, 6, 7, 8, all around the city …” It got to the point where she no longer had room in any of the houses. People were calling and she was turning them away.
kept saying, “Nobody wants me to train them.” She had gotten his wife previously to go to the bootcamp she was going to at the time. Miesha had a reputation as a workout fanatic and was dedicated to working out. He asked her about 5 or 6 times before she finally relented. But there was one catch. Miesha told him to tell his wife that if she got some of her friends to do it with her, she would come and do it. Within weeks, the woman had gathered a group, and she had her first clients. After that, more groups started
POTF: What’s the one thing that you learned as a business owner that served you well over the years?
POTF: What’s the best advice you’ve received that you would like to pass on to the people reading this magazine?
MW: Being a business owner, to me, just means providing a service with integrity and ethics. My Master’s degree, I actually obtained that through a Christian university – Indiana Wesleyan [University] – and in all of our studies, we had to do prayer and it was all tied into doing things ethically, and I truly stand by that. I’m a Christian, and it was just profound to me because the teaching was just so far beyond how to make money. It was about being a leader, being a staple in the community, inspiring people to know that they could also do this, or change their lives, or have a place to go to that treats them well, with respect. So, I just think that being a business owner goes beyond just making a dollar. It’s about getting a chance to get paid for being passionate about what you do.
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MW: The best advice I would give is to educate yourself continuously on your craft. There should be nothing that you can’t still learn. A lot of times people have approached me and said, “can you tell me how to start a fitness place?” and I always tell them, you gotta start in the books. You have to go out and research. You have to learn about it. And the other thing is always just to provide excellent customer service. Everybody that knows me knows that that’s my number one rule.
When I sat down with Miesha, I really wanted to know that secret to her success as a business woman. She seemed to have the magic formula and I wanted POTF readers to have access to it! Read on, you’ll be surprised as to what the secret to her success has been.
MW: I have two. They would actually be people I don’t know. They’re Oprah and Jay-Z …
POTF: I would have to say those are my two!
POTF: What or who has been your greatest influence in business and why?
success. I think for me I would want to know, like, how do you maintain your sense of humility, getting bigger.
had been vacant for a while. She says she got a great deal on the location as a new business owner, and that property ended up being her first location.
POTF: Do you have any new projects coming up that you want to share?
MW: Both of them are, for me, I relate with Oprah because she also went through living with a grandmother and being raised outside of her parents, and just that whole story; and look at how she grew that empire. For Jay-Z, I relate to [how] he does everything with integrity, you know, and coming from [the] projects, coming from the hood, and coming out of struggle. So I always said that if I ever got a chance to meet either one of them, I wouldn’t want to question them about their
MW: Yeah! I just want people to follow us. Follow nulifefitnesscamp.com. If you can’t afford to have a membership, get a DVD. Find ways to get fit. If you need a free alternative …walking. Follow my blog. I’m giving recipes. I’m giving tips. I’m giving healthy ideas; because it’s not just about being here at Nu Life. It’s about a new life. And that’s another thing that I’m getting ready to embark on is …what is Nu Life? Nu Life is not just the physical part about coming in here and working out. It might be you changing and getting out of depression. It might be you changing your lifestyle and having a healthier way of thinking. It’s all about whatever your Nu Life is. We want you to feel like you can follow us to inspire you to do it!
MW: Shop! I love to shop! My husband actually said yesterday, “I know every time you stress because you come home with these TJ Maxx bags”…
POTF: Retail Therapy!
Connect with Miesha: • Blog: mieshanulife.tumblr.com • Twitter: @nulifefitness • Instagram: @nulifefitnesscamp 45 min NuCamp Xtreme = $25 30 min NuPump Xtreme = $20 The DVDs can be purchased online or at any of the three Nu Life locations.
POTF: What is the number one business goal you want to accomplish over the next year?
MW: I’m actually an avid reader. I love to read on new fitness trends, I just never have a lot of time so I’m a techie. I’m always online. Any article I can find online, I’m reading. Any video I can watch, I do. In my spare
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A few things though… I love to skate, I love volleyball. We do the Nu Life sports leagues every summer and they’re only for Nu Life members so we play against each other; volleyball, softball. It’s an excellent time! But those are the things I love to do.
POTF: So what do you do for fun?
POTF: Congratulations on that!
MW: The number one business goal is to have Nu Life in front of …to have it national! I want it outside of Cleveland. I want people to get this experience. I don’t want to sound like I’m alienating anyone, but I really want to see more of our Black women, our Black people, just get healthy and just get fit. So, we just started this movement called Black Girls Get Fit Too, and it has nothing to do with just being Black. It’s really just about our culture. That we in our culture are taught to eat everything on your plate, and you don’t throw it away until it’s gone. Everything we gather for we eat. And that’s okay, but we also have to know that we have to work off, or make better food choices; we don’t have to fry everything. So it’s just about, I feel like if you can get together to eat, you can get together to get fit, get healthy.
MW: In 2013, you’ll see Nu Life in some other cities, and that’s probably the biggest thing we got going on.
time, I really just like to do nothing, because I’m such a busy person.
Photo by HERB BIAS
POTF: Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
Roughly 1/3 of African-American men in area cities never completed high school. PolicyBridge from African-AmericanUntappedPotential:MalesinNortheastOhio.
community is sky high. According to the government nearly threefourths of African-American families are headed by single moms. This means that there are very few male role models for Black boys, and the ones that are there, aren’t exactly the best; gangsters, drug dealers, selfcentered athletes and rappers, many of whom were, or are, in gangs themselves. It gets worse. According to Legal Momentum, a women’s legal defense and education fund, two fifths of single mother families are poor, triple the poverty rate for the rest of the population.
is a major issue facing the Black community. The rate for children born out of wedlock in the Black
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PHD: PRISON HELD
BUSINESS & EDUCATION
More young Black men have done prison time than served in the military or earned a college degree.
First, we have to look at why they drop out of school to start with. There are several factors that start even before their first day of kindergarten. Single motherhood
For Black men, an education can be more difficult to get. Asians.ofonlyindicatesResearchthat54%ofBlackmalesgraduatehighschoolcomparedtothethree-quartersWhitesandBlackmenhaveoneofthehighestdropoutratesofanydemographic,
and when it comes to standardized test scores, Black men as a group can usually be found near the bottom. The majority of prisoners are Black men, and according to the Bureau of Justice, one in three Black men can expect to see the inside of a jail cell in their lifetime. This is where things get disturbing. In some cases, Black men have a better chance of getting an education in prison than outside of it. Why is that?
Damian Calvert was incarcerated at the age of 18 and served 18.5 years out of an 18 years to life sentence. While there, he earned a GED and college credits he is now putting towards a degree in Non-Profit Administration. He
lockdown drills, not to mention the ever present possibility of being punished for having “contraband” that includes things like cough
syrup, headache medicine, even butter knives in lunch boxes, under zero tolerance policies that schools eagerly enforce. Black boys are in fact being conditioned for prison life.
currently works for the Ohio Organizing Collaborative (part of Ohio Organizing Campaign) as a Movement Builder Organizer working on economic justice issues in the State of Ohio. “In many of these homes, it’s all about survival,” Calvert said. “No one’s talking about saving for college when they’re struggling to put food on the table.”
school’s lack of resources in general, Black young adults are at a distinct disadvantage when college admissions time comes. They compete with kids in ritzy suburbs who have access to SAT coaches, scholarship coaches, all the best activities,extracurricularandclassesthatgivethemalegup.Impoverishedurban
Research indicates that only 54% of Black males graduate high school compared to the three-quarters of Whites and Asians.
schools don’t have these. For many, the only way out is minority scholarships or athletics and both things are in danger. Universities are cutting to the bone. Eventually scholarships will go. Schools are dropping athletics left and right and those that still have it, for the moment, barely fund it. When college
The lack of two important factors affects the likelihood that an individual will become a criminal: education and employment opportunities according to research conducted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics.
HELD DEGREE Do Black Men Have a Better Chance at Education in Prison?
For many of the single motherheaded Black families that live in impoverished areas, these are often places where drugs, crime and various gangs run wild. These are also areas with low property values. Since property values determine how much funding a school gets from the local community, it means that Black children will go to cashstrapped schools that have very little resources. What little resources exist, are always on the chopping block.
There are few after-school programs to occupy their time, leaving them to wander the streets and get in trouble. There are few classes that could guide them to a career in the trades (i.e. shop classes like carpentry you’reelectricity)orsoifyou’renotcutoutforcollege,outof
luck. In a lot of cases, there are no tutors to help kids who are Whatstruggling.littlebudget there is…is devoted to security. Similarities can be made between schools in predominately Black inner-city neighborhoods and many of our
U.S. jails. It’s very hard to remain optimistic about prospects that don’t involve prison in these schools. Guards armed with tasers,
There’s more than that though Coupled with their own lack of financial resources and their
Poverty itself can be a major factor. Take it from someone who knows.
Story by MATT STAFFORD
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recruiters go looking for talent, they’re not going to the rundown school whose football program is barely existent. They’re going to the well funded ones in the suburbs. With all these avenues cut off and no one to push them, or show them how to succeed in spite of these obstacles, they lose hope and drop out.
"Returned citizen" Damian Calvert says when Bill Clinton signed the anti-crime legislation in 1994, it effectively took away the Pell Grants that were available inside prisons to get higher education. So now the State of Ohio picks up the tab when your 5 years to the parole board, or to your release date.
Calvert was one such person. As he served his sentence, he realized that he didn’t want to be in jail.
Calvert got his GED as well as some college credits and got released after serving 18 years of a 19 year sentence. He then began continuing his education at Cleveland State University. This is the story for a lot of prisoners who get educations. In many cases, these prisoners hit rock bottom. They realize they messed up but that they also got lucky. They see that their past shunning of education was what led them to jail and that while they can’t turn back the clock; they have the opportunity for a new
“I wanted to do better,” Calvert said. “I realized that in order to do better, I had to be better and to be better, I had to know better.”
When they do, their prospects are limited. With people who have degrees competing for basic jobs, the market for someone who didn’t finish high school is bleak. Many
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turn to crime for money and they end up in jail. A lot get involved in prison gangs (that often control the activities outside of prison). However, some get educated and turn their lives around.
Inmates can no longer earn degrees in prison, but instead can earn credits and receive certificates. The catch is, the only classes offered are elective courses, which means that a lot of the earned credits are lost when transferred and applied toward a degree. The classes that they give you are really designed to give you an orientation into academia.
However,BET.
WAY TO PREVENT CRIME AND REDUCE THE CHANCE OF CONVICTS RETURNING TO PRISON? TAKE IT TO OUR SOCIAL NETWORKS! #PELLGRANTSFORPRISONERS
Studies have shown that peer pressure, negative learning environments, and a lack of role models combine to derail African-American students’ academic focus and ambitions while they are still in elementary school. PolicyBridge from THINK IS THE BEST
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start. They’re mature enough to see that wanting to better themselves is not a bad thing and that gang life only leads to prison or the grave rather than music videos on MTV or
abiding students struggle. A nice campaign speech to be sure but in the end it was terrible public policy. Prisoners who get some form of education are statistically less likely to backgoto jail.
After the laws were allowedaanyonepassed,withcriminalrecordwasnolongertoreceiveFederalStudentAid.Statespassedsimilarlaws.Prisonsnolongerofferedcollegecourses.Nowthemostprisonerscandoisgetintradeprograms—if
So how can Black men be helped? There are no easy answers. Funding schools better so urban Black kids have educational opportunities equivalent to the suburban White kid is a good start. The first step though ataacknowledgingisthatthefactthatBlackmenhavebetterchancegettinganeducationinprisonthanschoolisaproblem.
UntappedPotential.African-AmericanMalesinNortheastOhio.BlackmaledropoutsleadthenationinincarcerationstatisticsaccordingtoConsequencesofDroppingOutofHighSchool:JoblessnessandJailingforHighSchoolDropoutsandtheHighCostforTaxpayers-22%DailyJailingRateforYoungBlackMenWhoDropOutofHighSchoolfromtheNortheasternUniversityCenterforLaborMarketStudies. DO YOU
they have them—or hope a philanthropist funds a college program. Otherwise, they’re out of luck.
many no longer have that option. After a series of get-tough-on-crime bills in the 90s, prison college education programs were eliminated. The thinking was that we shouldn’t educate prisoners while law
COLLEGE EDUCATION IN PRISON
Prisoner of the Flesh™ magazine is looking for YOU We are looking for a team to keep our mission pushing forward! WANTED • Editor-in-Chief • Section Editors • Youth Editor • Photo Editor • Copy Editor • Advertising Sales • Photographer • Graphic/Web Design • Social Media • Writers/Contributors We’re looking for passionate people interested in growing a start-up from the ground up. For more details, contact us at editor@prisoneroftheflesh.com 81 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
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No, you won’t get rich by doing it, but recycling is a good way to make a little extra cash. You don’t necessarily have to run around collecting aluminum cans from the trash (which pays on weight, and the current price of aluminum), but there is cash to be made in recycling all types of things, from clothing and furniture to elec tronics like cell phones and laptops. If you have access to a computer, do a recycling search on Earth911.com to find local recycling options, or search online for webbased recycling options that pay.
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Most people don’t enjoy cleaning, but if you don’t mind getting rid of someone else’s grime (and yes, I know that rhymed. Feel free to use it on your business card!) then cleaning ser vices may be something for you. Find an area you want to specialize in like cleaning fore closed homes, cleaning out rental properties, cleaning and organiz ing garages, or making windows shine from the inside out and start pro moting your services.
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ServicesParty/Event
Make a great homemade salsa? Do you make the cutest cupcakes? If you’re a good cook, selling food might be an option for you. Start by asking friends, co-work ers, or ask your friends to ask their friends or co-workers to get you started. Depending on how you do it, some licenses and insurance may be required to do a bit of research so that you can keep it legit.
There’s potential to make money in party and event services by providing anything and everything from candy stations to service staff like servers, bartend ers, and coat check. It may take some time to book your first job, but networking, passing out business cards, and talk ing about what you can provide can go a long way in getting you started.
ServicesCleaning
Recycling
LEGAL HustLEs to GEt You PAid!
Technically, we’re talking about flipping cars— buying and selling for a quick profit. This hustle is a little bit riskier. You’re taking a gamble anytime you purchase a used car, so ideally you should know about cars and maybe even be able to make minor repairs yourself. You’re required to pay sales tax and take care of paperwork like titles and bill of sales and we suggest you learn as much as you can before jumping into it.
Consulting
Whether you’re looking for a way to make more money, a new way to make a living, or just need a side hustle, here are 10 legit ways to almost immediately start putting money in your pocket.
Used SalesCar
Making money by blogging takes time. You have to work really hard on your blog and have a high number of steady, or canifpeopletofromoffcanonlydonetheadvertisers.readershipincreasing,toattractThat’swheremoneycomesin.Ifright,youcannotmakemoney,youmakealifeandliveofincomereceivedyourblog.Ithasbeinterestingtokeepcomingback,butyoucanpullitoff,itbealucrativehustle.
As a service business, landscaping is one of the hustles you can start with little to no money. You need to know what you’re doing, do a good job, and get a few basic tools, but building clien tele can be as simple as knocking on a few doors in your neighborhood.
ServicesLandscaping
Consignment is basically a form of recycling. Sell ing used and unwanted clothes and accessories can be a good way to put money in your pocket. You can make anything from a few bucks to thousands of dollars, depending on how you do it. Find local consign ment shops and gather unwelcome items from your friends and family and get started.
84 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
Blogging
If there’s an area that you consider your strength, yet others may have a hard time with for them selves, you could possible make money providing your professional exper tise as a consultant. In addition to your exper tise, the second thing you need is clients. Consult ing is such a broad area that you could literally consult on everything from starting a garden to starting a business. Fig ure out what you’re good at, use it to help others and there you go!
mentConsign-
Are employedcurrentlyyou Yes (Employer’sName: Tay RaAddress: Side byJob From:Responsibilities:Title: To:May we contact your previousCompany:reference? n/a From:Responsibilities:JobAddress:Title: 2006 To: p May we contact your previoustype?Canreference?you yesskills:Computer Facebook , Instagram,Please provide softwareknowledge below: DowOther special skills: 324 attenti DisclaimerI certify that my answers are true If this application leads to employment, application or interview may resultSignature: ImUnique Employment Application Applicant Information Full Name: Jackson ImUnique Star Date: I kick it w/a few dudes Last First M.I. Address: e 116 union Street Address Apartment/Unit # cleeveland oh City State ZIP Code Phone: iPhone 5 E mail Address: Shawdygotthecheeksclap123@yhoo com EmergencyPhone: 911 Social Security No.: idk Position: Doggie style flexible open When could you start? After my community service on the 15th Why do you want to work here? Cause I heard yall was hiring Why should we hire you? I’ m good at working with the pubic Have you ever been dismissed or asked to resign from a position? YES NO If yes, when? When I dogged that customer Have you ever been convicted of a felony, or misdemeanor which resulted in imprisonment? YES NO If yes, explain? I have a strict no snitching policy A yes does not necessarily disqualify you from being considered Education HighSchool: Don’ t remember the name Shut down Address: It was online Yearsattended: 5 HighestCompleted:Grade 10 Did you graduate? YES NO College: Cut n Up Beauty College & Preschool Address: Yearsattended: 3 HighestCompleted:Grade Did you graduate? YES NO References Please list three professional references. Full Name: Jakwon Thompson Relationship: Baby daddy Occupation: Owns landscaping company Phone: He’ll call you Full Name: Lil john Relationship: My dude Occupation: Self employed Phone: 555 5555 Full Name: Ms Tinker Relationship: My 4th grade teacher Occupation: teacher Phone: MLK jr elementary school If your job application lookslikeanythingthis ... BUSINESS & EDUCATION 85 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
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S. Jackson Date: Are you guilty of some of the worst resume and ComingskillsAremistakes?blundersapplicationandyourinterviewafail?soon... • Upgrade your job • Job application tips that increase your chances of getting called back • Job search tips for the unemployed • Affordable ways to dress for an interview on a budget And much more! It's Going to end up in this ! 86 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
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PoliticalrePublicans: • Believe the wealthy should pay less • Against anything socialized (i.e. Welfare, Social Security, Unions, etc.) and financially supported by the masses. • Emphasize individual achievement • Generally against Affirmative Action • Right Wing • Color: Red • Symbol: Elephant • More conservative • More economically driven LAW & POLITICS 87 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
• Doesn’t belong to a political party • Choose candidates based on their political platform • Has some Republican-centered beliefs and some Democrat-centered beliefs PindePendents:arties 101 democrats: • Believe the wealthy should pay more • Supports social programs • View society as something they are in together • Believe in eliminating poverty and social injustice • Emphasize individual rights • Left Wing • Color: Blue • Symbol: Donkey • More liberal • More socially driven 88 • WWW.PRISONEROFTHEFLESH.COM
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