KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES

STOP TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH

AND GET SOME NEW NEIGHBORS!

"Keeping up with the Joneses" is a saying that refers to trying to match someone else’s lifestyle. “The Joneses” are the people we are exposed to (family, neighbors, friends, celebrities, and even strangers) that trigger our desire to get what they have. We compare ourselves to the Joneses and the material things that they have; failing to ‘keep us with the Joneses’ means that you are inferior. People have been accused of trying to keep up with the Joneses, but has anyone successfully done it? No! Why? Because the Joneses aren’t real! The Joneses are fictional characters from a comic strip featured in several newspapers in the early 1900’s. The ‘Joneses’ were the neighbors of the comic strip's main characters, and were always spoken of, but never actually seen.

We all know a Jones. He's the guy who has the sleek Ferrari with leather seats and surround sound while you have the old minivan with leftovers of your kid's snacks between the seats. She's the girl in your daughter's class with all the latest fashions, jewelry, and also had the Sweet 16 that was equal to a Hollywood Oscar party (and was still strangely even less entertaining and even more irritating) while your daughter just had a few of her friends over for pizza and a cake. He's the guy who has the super expensive cell phone with all the latest apps and features (which he of course upgrades with each new version) while you still have the cell phone that is, well, just a phone. The Joneses reside on Best of the Best Boulevard. They are everywhere and people, want to keep up with them no matter the cost—even if they don't want to admit it. The mainstream media presents us with Joneses every minute. Every commercial you see presents us with a Jones. One might advertise the best looking car with everything in it short of a kitchen and a bathroom (then the RV commercial comes on). One might tell you how much you need the best TV with surround sound, HD, 3D, and every channel available. Heck, even TV shows get in on the act; from the 80s cartoons that were pretty much toy commercials to today’s “reality” shows like My Super Sweet 16.

Today, social media plays a huge part in our obsession to keep up with them. The Joneses are all over Facebook showing off pictures of their fancy cruises and highpriced food. As much as we like to see, we also want to be seen. It's part of an “if you have stuff, flaunt it” mentality that spawns shows like MTV Cribs. Let's face it; everyone has the impulse to make people jealous from time to time. Sometimes, those who see it, look it up willingly. It's an urge to live vicariously through the

John Jones (the dad), Jane Jones (the mom), Johnny Jones (the son), Jill Jones (the daughter), Jasper Jones (the dog), Jingle Jones (the cat), Jaws Jones (the fish). They have the perfect life; the perfect marriage; the perfect kids; lots of money, and they always win. They have it all – and then some. Everything they have is better and faster and we all want what they have.

For many of us, it’s our guilty pleasure to scroll through page by page on Instagram, looking into the lives of even perfect strangers, and passionately posting our own purchases and plates for all the world to see.

local Jones family. If you can think of it, the Joneses have the best of it and you have, at one point or another wanted it; often before you even thought about it, and whether or not you truly need it. Why do the media keep introducing us to this awesome family to get us to buy things? It works. We all have at some point seen something on TV and wanted it. Even if we never got the motivation to actually go out and buy it, someone else in our neighborhood or personal life did, and then we went out and bought it or the “better” version released a month later. This is “conspicuous consumption” early 20th century economists defined it as “buying luxury goods to show prestige to their peers.” To put it simpler, buying crap you don't need to impress the neighbors. Corporations make a killing off it. And it's not a new thing. The Joneses have been with us since ancient times (though probably under a different name. Today, think Kardashian). The Egyptians wanted each pyramid to be better than their predecessors. Kings wanted more land than the other kings. Greeks and Romans wanted to throw more extravagant parties than the other guy. Renaissance people liked buying the best artwork. Early Americans wanted their own stretch of farmland and a nice wooden house. Now, we have a nice suburban house, a family four (with a hot wife and two college bound honors students with trophies for everything), and a nice car. You could go as far as to say that keeping up with the Joneses is basically the American dream. The Joneses have always been with us. In a way that's a good thing. They helped inspire people to excel. They give people another reason to work harder and do better. For some of us, even as kids, they inspired us to work harder. To study for a test a little harder so we could get our parents to buy us that toy Johnny Jones had at his house. To clean up without being asked so we could get the money for the latest pair of sneakers the day they came out. The Jones gave us something to aspire to, a goal to aim for. However, keeping up with the Joneses can have a dark side, especially when you're willing to do anything to keep up. All of our ancestors recognized this. All the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) have a commandment against coveting the things their neighbors had. Thou shalt not covet. There are stories of how keeping up with the Joneses of the day led to unspeakable crimes in those religious traditions. King David had his neighbor Uriah killed for his wife. He lost his first son and his reign after that point was a complete mess. In the first Kings, King Ahab had his neighbor Nabath killed for his land. The New Testament writer James goes as far as to say coveting causes wars (both within ourselves and with nations). Eastern religions like Buddhism say similar things about letting desire to have all the latest things lead to doing wrong by our neighbors. It's amazing when you think about it; though thousands of miles and a few millennia apart, all of these traditions recognized that an all consuming desire to keep up with the neighbors can be incredibly destructive.

In the modern world, you don't have to go far to see what happens when wanting to keep up with the Joneses turns destructive. Our jail cells are filled with people who got consumed by wanting what the people around them had so badly, they were willing to hustle, lie, cheat, steal, and kill their way to the top and into the Joneses favor. They could be the kid who got caught shoplifting the latest game from the GameStop. They could be the gang member who got caught stealing a nice car. They could even be a guy who got so wrapped up in wanting something he didn’t have he ended up taking someone’s life. Of course, this dark side doesn't always reveal itself in ways that hurt other people, sometimes, we just hurt ourselves trying to keep up. Keeping up with the Joneses sometimes means trying to alter our physical bodies. Sometimes, this could mean getting radical and expensive plastic surgery. Other times, it could be less obvious, like trying to lose weight or build muscle for example. These aren’t bad things in and of themselves. However, when a person's desire to be skinnier or more muscular than the people around them (or that they see in the media) becomes all consuming, it can very easily turn life threatening. How many women have literally starved themselves to death trying to be as thin as that girl in the magazine? How many men have died taking steroids to improve their performance? It's not just our bodies that can be damaged by this dark side, but the family finances. Americans are drowning in credit card debt. According to the Federal Reserve's 2011 G-19 report on consumer credit, Americans have nearly $800 billion in debt. Most

of which is credit card debt. Most likely it's because they're living beyond their means. They buy all the latest gizmos and gadgets for themselves and their kids and charge it to credit. It's not just credit card debt though. A lot of the blame for the housing crisis can be placed on people trying to buy houses they had no way of affording. They keep up a lifestyle they can't afford so no one thinks they have less but when the house of cards comes crashing down, it crashes hard. Many families have been ruined in an all consuming quest to keep with the Joneses. Why do people do this? People can get this stuff without living beyond their means. Sometimes, they just don't think ahead. They buy this stuff hoping that somewhere down the line that a new source of income will come in. Other times, they don't want to make the sacrifices it takes to get the means to get the things they want. They don't want to save the money or take the classes they might need for a promotion. Our society emphasizes instant gratification; and sacrifice is a dirty word. Sometimes, they just don't want to risk someone thinking they don't have money and risk social standing, or public image. [In another section] you'll be given some money saving tips to stay or get out of debt and break free of the Jones' hypnotizing hold. Here's the most important one: Be grateful for what you have. You've probably heard this from your parents, but people could really stand to hear it more often. If you're mad that you don't have the best car, remind yourself that there are people living in places that don't have roads, or you could be on the bus. SO WHAT! if you don't have the biggest house on the block; there are people who don't have houses - PERIOD.

The Joneses are a double-edged sword. It's healthy to aspire. It's healthy to have goals. It isn't healthy to let what other people have consume you. It’s time to move away from the Joneses over to a nice house on a street called Perspective Avenue, off of Reality Road. You'll be happier that way.