Bridging Divides with Respect: An Interview with LGBTQ+ Advocate Shane
Windmeyer
How One Conversation with Chick-fil-A Changed the Dialogue
Shane Windmeyer has spent his career fighting for LGBTQ+ inclusion and equity. But in a cultural landscape often defined by outrage and polarization, his approach to advocacy stands out: engage directly, listen deeply, and build relationships — even with those who disagree.
One of the most talked-about chapters in Windmeyer's journey is his unlikely friendship with Dan Cathy, president of Chick-fil-A, a company once widely criticized for its donations to groups opposing same-sex marriage. What began as a public clash turned into a series of private conversations that challenged assumptions on both sides.
In this exclusive interview, Shane Windmeyer shares how that relationship unfolded, why he believes in dialogue over division, and what lessons activists can learn from his experience.
Q: Shane, you’ve been an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ+ rights for years. How did your interactions with Chick-fil-A and Dan Cathy begin?
Shane Windmeyer: It started with conflict, plain and simple. When Dan Cathy made public comments against same-sex marriage back in 2012, it hit a nerve with LGBTQ+ folks like me. There was a lot of pain and frustration, especially seeing a major corporation financially supporting groups that promoted harmful narratives about LGBTQ+ people.
I was one of many who spoke out publicly. There were protests, calls for boycotts. But amid that storm, Dan Cathy did something unexpected — he reached out to me personally. He wanted to talk, one-onone. Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. But I believe in the power of conversations, so I agreed.
Q: That must have been a difficult decision. What made you decide to meet with him?
Shane Windmeyer: It was not an easy choice. A lot of people advised me against it. They feared it would be seen as “selling out” or being too soft. But I’ve always believed that real change happens in uncomfortable conversations.
Yelling at each other from opposite sides of a press release doesn’t move us forward. Sitting down faceto-face, that’s where empathy can begin. So I met with Dan, not to debate or negotiate, but to listen — and to be heard.
Q: How did those conversations unfold? Did you find common ground?
Shane Windmeyer: The first thing I’ll say is that we didn’t agree on everything — and that’s okay. Our values around marriage equality, for example, remained different. But what changed was the understanding between us.
Dan listened. He didn’t try to “win” the conversation. He shared his personal beliefs, but he also expressed genuine concern about how LGBTQ+ people were being impacted by the company’s actions.
Over time, we built trust. We talked about our backgrounds, our faith, our families. Those conversations didn’t erase our differences, but they humanized them. And that made all the difference.
Q: What was the reaction when you publicly shared your friendship with Dan Cathy?
Shane Windmeyer: Let’s just say, it was mixed. Some people were surprised, others were angry. There were definitely critics who felt I was giving Chick-fil-A a pass. But I stand by my decision.
I shared our story because I believe transparency matters. I wanted people to see that even in moments of deep disagreement, we can choose respect over hostility.
I wasn’t excusing the past actions of Chick-fil-A. But I also wasn’t going to ignore the fact that real conversations were happening — and that they were leading to tangible changes.
Q: Did those conversations have an impact on Chick-fil-A’s corporate behavior?
Shane Windmeyer: Over time, Chick-fil-A did make changes. They reevaluated their charitable donations and shifted away from funding groups that were viewed as anti-LGBTQ+.
Was that entirely because of my conversations with Dan Cathy? No. But those personal dialogues created an opening. They put a human face to the issue. They made it harder to dismiss the real-world impact of the company’s decisions.
Change in big organizations is never instant. But relationships like the one I built with Dan can plant seeds that grow into meaningful shifts.
Q: What lessons did you personally take away from that experience?
Shane Windmeyer: The biggest lesson is that activism doesn’t have to mean demonizing your opponents. You can hold people accountable while still seeing their humanity.
I learned that listening is as powerful as speaking out. And that vulnerability — admitting when you don’t have all the answers — is not weakness. It’s strength.
Also, change takes time. We live in a world that demands instant results, but meaningful progress often happens quietly, through relationships and persistent dialogue.
Q: In today’s climate of “cancel culture” and intense polarization, do you think your approach still resonates?
Shane Windmeyer: I think it resonates now more than ever. The easy path is outrage. The harder path is engagement. But if we only ever shout past each other, nothing changes.
The truth is, we’re not as divided as we’re led to believe. Most people want to do the right thing. They just need space to understand perspectives different from their own.
That’s what my experience with Dan Cathy taught me. We may not agree on every issue, but we found respect. And from respect comes progress.
Q: What advice would you give to young activists who are passionate about LGBTQ+ rights?
Shane Windmeyer: First, stay true to your values. Never compromise on your core beliefs just to make others comfortable.
But at the same time, lead with curiosity, not contempt. Ask questions. Be willing to have tough conversations. Hold people accountable, yes — but don’t write them off before you’ve listened to their story.
Activism is about building bridges, not just burning down barriers. If you can balance courage with compassion, your impact will be far greater than you imagine.
Q: Looking back, how do you reflect on your friendship with Dan Cathy today?
Shane Windmeyer: It was one of the most meaningful and challenging experiences of my career. I’m grateful for it, not because we solved every problem, but because we proved that conversation is still possible, even across deep divides
That’s a message we need now more than ever. I’m proud of the work we did — and I hope others are inspired to have their own courageous conversations.
Final Thoughts
Shane Windmeyer’s story with Chick-fil-A is a testament to the power of empathy, patience, and dialogue. In a world eager to polarize, his choice to engage directly — without compromising his values — offers a different path forward.
It’s a reminder that activism can be bold and bridge-building at the same time.