Abstract Extraction By SG There was a girl, born in snow with body warm, colored like sand, a tropic blood boiling beauty. She was a flower, beautiful and tempting, she was once a simple seed. This is the story of the rose grown through the cracks on concrete. In her own mind, she was somehow predatory and prey-- the two twisted together in each of her decisions. As all things are made up of non-negotiable needs , she bloomed as a flower with flowering thoughts, constantly in need of the soil and water, in need of the resources to truly reach as far up and away as she had ever imagined, to stretch herself, to lengthen the spine and learn. As circumstance would have it, she was innately familiar with the blood and bone of low socio-economic standings-- her hunger grew through her stomach, consumed by her wish to consume without question or worry, she yearned to take flight without inhibition-- to make choices of her own volition, to no longer question her fiscal stability. As a young woman she spent her time planning, contingencies and escape routes were her only comfort. Forever plotting her own story-- unsatisfied with the ending the world had tried to force upon her. As a young woman, she was educated and well-spoken. Along with her arguments, she was allowed her thoughts, allowed her rebellion and questions and mistakes.
Watching her grow into the vessel of her body was a transformation she had no idea was within her. Constant chameleon child, so adaptive, resilient and religiously scribing her notes of truth. She has always been the watcher, caregiver and bullhorn. Lets herself cryloudly, raging and sorrowful, yet continuing to mourn within herself-- seemingly alone, yet feeling the eyes-- the anticipation of her surroundings. Such is she, a flower, that is in love with what the sun can give, wishing to be there with it. She was wishing to find herself worthy of belonging to those above, somehow transcending her circumstance while creating pathways for those to find the same warmth. She spent her days wondering why the ground was so cold, why others in her tax bracket felt so far below, so far away from the sun. I remember her being born close to death-- blue as the sea, gasping for air, so unsuccessfully. She became familiar with the discomfort of her existence, but did not enable it. Her sense of justice was developed through a system of constant disappointment and anger, a cycle of revisions and hoarse vocal chords. She had been taught to turn to stone from the experiences of her mother. To see her formidable maker beaten, battered and bloody took her trust by surprise, along with her purpose. In the midst of her mother’s weakest moment, she found herself enraged on behalf of justice, trust, equity and love. She had no idea that throwing herself into the crossfire of man-made love would ignite her sense of self. She found herself resenting this feeling, this indisposable sense of obligation-- not only to engage for her own understanding, but the need to engage to allow others to also understand, to engage for the sake of safety, equity and opportunity. In hindsight,
she would move forward to find this obligation a burden as well as an essential element of her being. Along with the weight of her obligation, she found herself intertwined with delirium. The lessons of her mother consisted solely of: what not to do, who not to be, and a constant stream of apologies for an uncontrollable circumstance. Attempting to create a visual of her needs with only the negative spaces of these dreams-- knowing she craved stability so intensely due to her existence without it, knowing she wanted emotional consistency through her engagement with the emotionally volatile. Knowing that there was an inherent wrong, an unbalanced spectrum, and feeling with all the might of her vessel that it must be fixed-- at all costs. Due to her circumstance, she found herself outside of society. She often found herself exiled by her own accord, finding no use in the quarrels of a society who stood blind to her world. She grew through moons and sunsets, making decisions for her own good, and the good of her family. In the midst of all her decision-making, she found herself at a loss relatable figures. Despite her understanding of her experiences being banal, she found herself completely unable to relate to a human without proof of experience. This applied tactic often left her with no one-- she would stay in this state of loneliness until she’d meet Nina. Not only did Nina embody the stability she had always envisioned for herself, she also allowed her to understand herself outside of her categorical circumstances. While Nina allotted her the comfort to trust, it was a man cut of the same cloth of delirium that truly showed her the difference between her past and her future. This man held the surname Morgan. Even before he had
confided in her this truth, she admired the valor Morgan embodied, the success. While near him she could feel the powers of transcendence radiating from him-- she knew that he had evolved passed his maker, history and hesitation. As she watched his actions she began to once again take note. During her analysis of him she found that the most essential element, the one that will move forward to dictate transcendence was grit. She had looked to him for an answer-- and what he revealed she had already known. Morgan embodied the ultimate form of affirmation for her: he was the proof that her dream was far more than obtainable-- and that was all she’d ever need to move forward. She took this long awaited answer in stride, his proof, the evidence of his transcendence simply reinvigorated her sense of purpose. Whatever obstacles stood in her path were no match for her grit. Of all the things she thought she knew, she never saw herself as valuable. She’d now find herself beneath the dirty coals of her past, adding pressure to them, and then finding herself again-- born into a diamond. Of all the choices she could’ve made, she is proud to find herself in a position of contentment based in her own choices. She’s obtained the independence of her childhood dreams, in all realms of her life. She is fulfilled in her work. Her thoughts and arguments have allowed her the agency to make a change in her own immediate surroundings as well as the environments she does not directly touch. She has allowed her fiscal transcendence to pay itself forward, giving opportunities to those who may not have been told they are worthy. She has blossomed, found her place in the sun and grows forth, to make a place there for those who also seek warmth.