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FAMILY
NEW MEXICAN 30, 2013 THE
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f Keep orders brieOK and direct – it’s
is the biggest misasked, “What Which journalist recently I had to think about that. parents take parents make?” mistake made by some to and do entirelynot parents? The biggest too much attention usually, but is they pay entirely children. These children too much for theirspoiled brats. Why as by always, end up R MOYER some children, in WENNE Because A well not always? Y: MELIND manage to do . The COMMENTAR mysterious means, -optimal parenting spite of less-than produced by the manis David Call works notion that one is raised is belied by in with students ner in which one s, including children rten his kinderga the many exception bad upbringings and N.Y. class at Agua COLD SPRING, of good ary who do well despite Fría Element do badly in spite s sent children who of my neighbor John School in 2011. ast week, two on the school bus bigupbringings. s Many parents, some parents’ Rosemond their 5-year-old The families were too On the other hand, concerned about that they pay entirely for the first time. terrified. I look back Living With a more rigorous gest mistake is their kids. Those folks mildly curr to Children excited but also kindergarten little attention found reading parenting ten — I remembeeagle waitkindergar are on riculum, fondly d as an are not generally not belabor their missend the playgroun will ing a year to to kindergarsoaring around purpose columns, so I es, Kathleen — but only serve the their children than with my friend would beast It to celebrate themselv deeds. different readers reason school. circumstances. ten today is a vastly Many schools have of giving my regular thing to do under any SATURNO ago. LUIS SÁNCHEZ parents is that it was 30 years d exploratory programs is an untoward other which still THE NEW MEXICAN by made or they ditched play-baseinstruction and regular The biggest mistake ior of a toddler is cute, state by to misbehav in favor of direct they think the failure to discipline at that critical enter the thanks to the pressure As many old, after all” testing, in part too, because they ool test scores. rationalize their as, “He’s only 20 months time earnings, of the preimprove grade-schfor this column told me, later. saying such things … he’ll grow out of it.” Parents to labor force a year misbehavior days are most stage a experts I spoke nip grade. these to just first kids “It’s need d the and the new affluRedshirte an ugly little head. era understood kindergarten is who come from ing, then, that first reared its inaction with psychological likely to be boys study from California l bud, when it send s Perhaps it’s unsurpris one into dangerou in the proverbia of parents don’t their ent families — lull themselves “Don’t sweat the estimated 9 percent ten anymore. parents who redshirtmore Today’s parents meaningless homilies as, s to kindergar reported that begins as small 40 percent their 5-year-old so that their savvy 6-yearsuch fluffy, largely in fact, all of the big stuff kids earn, on average, So when researchinto rages, m. They wait a year don’t. small stuff,” when, correction, tantrums grow t handle the curriculug,” a than those who early d kids to nonolds can better occasional disrespec stuff. Without “academic redshirtin athers compare redshirte often comparing grows into defiance, up one’s toys grows This so-called they’re disobedience of keeping young ce and not picking redshirted kids, extra “gift of time.” y nod to the practice until they are bigger apples and oranges. g is a rk. grows into belligeren benefit from the socioeconomic the Universit do one’s schoolwo of parents is they comletes on the benchis highly controversial. researchers at you think redshirtin New into refusal to of lots y 2006, by makes In this made skilled, Universit all 2011 If A in, “Honey, and the and more Early ChildThe biggest mistakeons with instructions, as you’re not alone. Association of of Texas at Austin a analyzed national data Associareally bad idea, titled “Delay Kindergarten to serve coffee The National bine wordy explanati s and the National op-ed it. over and I’d like toys and move Southern Californi years from 15,000 Times against coming is York Children hood Specialist argued mine many n of Young became Peril” deftly a friend of pick up these collected over your hair push-back, I need you to at Your Child’s compared what tion for the Educatio redshirting in this room, so else, OK?” Explanations invitefriend use the know you’re pulling should it, saying that d to what 26-year-olds. They re At this point, I fiercely oppose your been redshirte So what at the outset of and had somewhe know: you who for to failures them as can’t kids young of have first! Why are argumenout and just want time to enroll my kid in “labels children who had been e.” Studies that as in, “I was hereparents tell me their children became of kids redshirted. They found I do when it comes this of Deborah Stipek, their school experienc d kids fare not the parents, combine kitchen?” These well redshirte I asked their class but d kids performed worse means that they, those conditions, all peers Graduate kindergarten? evaluated how schooled-on-timeno tative, which simply of the Stanford that the redshirte were twice as likely to redto push instructions. Under the former dean compared to their tests, , who has studied the opportunity explanations with likely to redshirting provides on 10th-grade es clever, will seize form is, “I want you to pick and were less School of Education age effects. She says that conclude that or social advantag children, being advantage drop out of school, the proper age. long-term academic shirting and relative than just their college; the only d kids re else, right now,” kids at a disadvant back. In this example, consider more graduate from them somewhe so.” and can even put become even more toys and move g was that redshirteplay varsity parents shouldcomes time to make enroll“Because I said is these up redshirtin “Why?” to has to to response The practice consider child when it ly more likely over claims the biggest mistakeof and the proper — they need to suggest were marginal in recent years wrong reaend the above example, ment decisions school. controversial d “OK?” on to the And then, as in do it for the sports in high ten, too. “I usually sit in the a bad parents is attaching suggests that redshirte their kindergar that some parents their kids not because This quickly becomes made by some the kindergarten, Other research and engaged than are instructions. of times she did that parents visit and envision their child sons: They redshirt for school, but what they think a parent count the number ready kids are less motivated the room, kinhigh school and of me that even comin as some had their kids aren’t back telling are peers once 50, I there than special habit. age of parenting might give their younger because reported more likely to require be dying because, in the in that setting, out make herself stop. a that in a day. She children would holding them that they are more And in a 2008 review, , she couldn’t petitive sport, whereas dergartens where and athletic edge she was counting n. It is a namby-pamby request, services. ation, social , though education self-regul education of t of petulance. instructio the star of them an academic an economis , if they had poortens are much more tolerant “OK?” is not an the resident prince or princess happens. If little Delia is David Deming, y, and Susan Dynarski to who need over their peers. scheme, maybe she’ll other kindergar petition made ignored, which is what usually expert at they amenable to kids at Harvard Universit policy more Gammuch public be kindergarten, Harvard. and It deserves to all the way to questions an education and Michigan, concluded that puts support,” she says. ride the wave of d answers parents’ lower IQs extra this way, of course, the University ist John Rosemon writer ing the system also tend to have finding Family psychologwww.rosemond.com. Moyer is a science disadvantage. redshirted kids at g Melinda Wenner other kids at a adults. This latter on his website N.Y., and is a parenting say that redshirtin and earnings as to the fact that redhelpful living in Cold Spring, Slate’s DoubleX. Yet some experts for appropriate and is probably linkedmore likely to drop out of advice columnist can be extremely they aren’t convinced shirted teens are tend to have lower lifeand the practice. for certain kids, high school. They pooh-poohing by the research subset of kids who really a There could be
kfire ten? It could bac Delay kindergar
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9% of An estimated send parents don’t to their 5-year-olds kindergarten.
© 2013 by Vicki Whiting,
Graphics Editor Jeff Schinkel,
Vol. 29, No. 42
In fact, the and wrinkled. used to tell elephant is rough The skin of an lower part of their legs can be has its creases in the Like fingerprints, every elephant elephants apart. very own crease pattern.
Hat-making fun
Addressing parents’ biggest mistakes
Remaking Motorola
Columnist John Rosemond says it’s best to avoid unwanted pushback and that it’s OK to be direct when giving orders. Family, a-9
An engineering conundrum helps the technology giant jump-start its creatively inert culture. TeCH, a-7
for two!
Securing Santa Fe’s schools
BUDGET CRISIS
Time, options wane in D.C.
Likelihood of shutdown grows as Democrats, GOP trade blame over impasse By Roxana Tiron, Kathleen Hunter and Michael C. Bender
Bloomberg News
Nava Elementary School Principal Brenda Korting receives an update on the status of the school’s 330 students as they participate in a fire drill Friday. PHOTOS BY CLYDE MUELLER/THE NEW MEXICAN
District scrutinizes policies, makes changes to ensure student safety Romero, began a district-wide safety audit to look at access to schools, preparation and response to a crisis, the use of emergency drills and other practices. The district double-checked all internal radios and surveillance cameras, and it evaluated the security of all doors and windows. The district gave itself a B-minus. For security reasons, Romero declined to say how specific schools did on the audit. But parents and visitors have noticed some changes since January. For one thing, exterior doors are now locked, and even parents have to be buzzed in and screened by school secretaries in front offices. The days of propped-open side doors are gone, Romero and several principals and parents said. The district is working on upgrading its surveillance cameras and setting up
By Robert Nott The New Mexican
N We still want to maintain “ a welcoming environment to
the parent, but it is imperative that we know who is entering and leaving our schools.” Gabe Romero, SFPS safety and security director
ava Elementary School Principal Brenda Korting recalls parents’ reactions on the Monday following the fatal shootings of 26 children and adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., in December. As Santa Fe fathers and mothers dropped off and picked up their kids from Nava that day, they cried. So did Korting. “After Sandy Hook, everybody asked, ‘What can we do to make campuses safer?’ ” she said. It’s a question Santa Fe Public Schools has been trying to address as it upgrades its safety and security measures at its more than 25 facilities. Late last year, Santa Fe Public Schools’ new safety and security director, Gabe
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Española family seeks protection from man hunting ‘missing gold’ Property owner files for restraining order after receiving threats By Tom Sharpe
The New Mexican
Española businessman Richard Cook wants a judge to stop a Wyoming man from harassing him over access through Cook’s property to a site where the man claims to have located gold and says some of it has been stolen.
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Gale Roberts, who refers to himself as “The Gail Force” in emails, is accused of accosting 87-year-old Cook and his family members by insisting they allow him access to the top of Black Mesa, north of Española. Cook’s daughter, Katharine Cook Fishman, says in an affidavit in support of a requested restraining order that Roberts began seeking access through her family property this fall. After Roberts was denied access, he began harassing her
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family, threatening to file a restraining order and making other veiled threats, Fishman said. “You have no idea as to what I may do in the middle of the night that surprises … everyone when they crawl out of bed first thing in the morning,” Roberts wrote in a Sept. 23 email to Fishman that is included in court documents. “You might say that from this day forward you and Richard will have no idea what
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Santa Fe Photographic Workshops instructor presentation Slide presentation and open conversation of works by Sam Abell and Peter Ogilvie, 8-9 p.m., Sunmount Room, Immaculate Heart of Mary Retreat and Conference Center, 50 Mount Carmel Road, no charge, 983-1400, ext. 11. More events in Calendar, A-2 and Fridays in Pasatiempo
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Editor: Ray Rivera, 986-3033, rrivera@sfnewmexican.com Design and headlines: Kristina Dunham, kdunham@sfnewmexican.com
Police notes a-10
WASHINGTON — Congress is leaving itself just one day on Monday to end a budget stalemate that raises the risk of the first government shutdown in 17 years as Republicans sought to shift blame for the gridlock to Democrats. The Senate will reconvene Monday afternoon, when it will reject a House plan passed early Sunday to delay and limit President Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act. In response, the House would add “another provision” to the spending measure and send it back to the Senate, said Rep. Kevin McCarthy, the top House Republican vote counter. The provision would “reflect the House” and would be one “the Senate can accept,” McCarthy of California said on Fox News Sunday without offering details. A likely option would end the government’s contribution to the health insurance of members of Congress and their staffs, as a way of testing Democrats’ willingness to make any changes to the health law, according to a leadership aide who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss party strategy. House Republican leaders don’t expect to pass a bill that only extends federal spending, or have enough Republicans who support that, the aide said. The House version of the spending measure would also delay the start of the health law, which is known as “Obamacare.” No talks were held Sunday between House Republican and Senate Democratic leaders, even at the staff level, said a Senate Democratic aide who requested anonymity. A House Republican aide confirmed there weren’t talks between House leaders and White House officials. Concerns that the budget impasse will hurt economic growth helped push the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index to its first weekly decline since August. The index fell 0.4 percent to 1,691.75 on Friday and dropped 1.1 percent last week. The rate on 10-year Treasury notes fell three basis points to 2.62 percent. About 20 House Republicans gathered on Sunday in front of the Senate side of the U.S. Capitol and urged senators to return and take up the spending bill. They accused Democrats of wanting a shutdown to score political points. “The Senate doors are shut, they are locked,” said Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, the chairwoman of the House Republican conference. “If the Senate doesn’t act, it may be inevitable. Why are they waiting?” Unless differences are resolved, as many as 800,000 federal employees would be on furlough and national parks and Internal Revenue Service call centers probably would
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Today Nice day with plenty of sunshine. High 78, low 46. Page a-12
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Two sections, 24 pages 164th year, No. 273 Publication No. 596-440