RED Magazine #37

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RED Issue no. 37

RED Magazine is produced in Victoria by RhED to create a resource for sex workers, and a platform to elevate the voices of sex workers and their lived experiences. RED magazine is the result of community collaboration. Views and contributions within RED are those of the contributors and independent authors alone and are not necessarily shared by RhED.

We acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Wurundjeri People of the Kulin Nation and pay our respects to their elders past, present and emerging. We acknowledge sovereignty has never been ceded and uphold their continuing relationship to this land.

Who is RhED? Resourcing health & Education (RhED) is a service for the sex industry in Victoria. RhED is committed to respecting and reflecting the needs of the sex industry, and actively promoting the rights of sex workers. Our team reflects a mix of current and past sex workers, volunteers, and other professionals. Services available Advocacy | Education | Information | Support | Referral | Interpreters | Translated Materials RhED works with all genders and sexes and defines sex work as including, but not limited to: full-service in a brothel, street, private, and escort environment, stripping and showgirls, camming, pornography, topless waiting, and erotic massage. All services are free and confidential Phone: 1800 458 752 Email: Website:

COVER IMAGE Jessie Ngaio CONTENT CURATION/DESIGN/LAYOUT Katie Cameron CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Gabby Skelsey Cath Taylor Alyx Emerald WRITER AND ARTIST CONTRIBUTORS Neon Gaze Jessie Ngaio Melinah Viking Ella Ripley Reena

Estelle Lucas Buny T Salina Reign Sophie Allegra Sphynx Ryan Liza Ishtar Sassy Sin River Ivy Rose Tommy McKenzie Dani Zuzek Jenny Professional Various Anon

Issue no. 37: April 2020 Registered by Australia Post, Print Post Approval Publication #PP 343396/00004 | ABN 74 711 038 580 | ARBN A0028274C Copyright: Star Health. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the copyright owner. Views expressed in RED Magazine are those of respective contributors and do not necessarily represent those shared by RhED or Star Health.

TRANSLATIONS Silky Kim Xiaolei Xiong KaoJai RED MAGAZINE ADVISORY MEMBERS Dean Lim Ishtar Liza Marie Cath Brigall Matthew WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE NEXT ISSUE OF RED? CONTACT: Printed in Melbourne by Highlight Printing











































When the pages of this magazine were being put together, we were in a different time. The world watched in horror as Australia burned at an exponential rate, while the public outpouring reminded us of the comfort in collective experience and community action. Sex workers made up a significant proportion of this action, notably Kaylen Ward who defied stigma to raise $1M AUS for the Australian community. The response? Instagram deactivation, family disownment, and choice of employment on the table for global online debate. This narrative is all too common for our community. It serves as a stinging reminder of the urgency needed to to radically rewire the legal landscape and systemically shift cultural and societal thinking around sex work. Currently, our community is facing inconceivable and unprecedented challenges with the emergence of COVID-19. The difficult but necessary measures being driven by our government severely challenge sex workers’ economic freedom and will undoubtedly risk to further isolate a community already prone to isolation, yielded by stigma alone. In saying this, we know that sex workers are resilient. Our community has survived a lot and we will survive this too. It’s imperative now more than ever to keep community spirit alive, to find creative ways to ‘lean’ on each other, and to support each other during these astronomically challenging times. Amidst these challenges, RhED is also dedicated to keep the focus from fading on Victoria’s inquiry into the decriminalisation of sex work. This is an incredibly positive movement from the Labor Government and an opportunity for sex worker emancipation from the legislation that continues to threaten our health, working and human rights. Every voice counts in this inquiry and it’s the diversity of lived experience that makes our community so strong. A few key voices cannot adequately represent the voices of all sex workers; nor can they speak on behalf of the lived experiences and multifaceted intersections that make up the community. Everyone has a role to play. We need to work together to question the gaps and silences, to elevate voices more marginalised than our own, and to ensure that when it comes to the decriminalisation of sex work, we don’t cross the line until we all cross the line. And now to speak to this magazine. We all carry a story. Within these pages you’ll find a range of different voices and stories from the community. I hope that through reading this magazine you’re able to find a momentary escape from current news, and connection back to community. This magazine would never be complete if it were to try and cover all the diversifying experiences of sex workers, but I hope that as you move through these pages you, like me, can take a moment to feel proud and celebrate the magnitude of strength and diversity that exists amongst sex workers’ identities. Take care and stay safe. In solidarity, Cameron. Pronouns: She/Her

Note: If you’re an ally or non sex worker reading this magazine, please practice responsible curiosity.


Dear RED readers, Welcome to the 37th edition of your RED magazine! We want to start by acknowledging the very difficult and unprecedented territory we are in at the moment in relation to the Covid-19 crisis. We know this will have significant ramifications for the sex industry, and you are all in our thoughts as we continue to navigate this situation together. Please contact us for a copy of our flyer on Covid-19 if you feel you need more information in relation to this pandemic. Although we have needed to make some changes to the way that the RhED program works, we want you all to know that you can continue to phone and email RhED as per usual. The RhED program is still open for service in the midst of this crisis. If you need support, or just want to have a chat with someone, please give us a call. Physical distancing is important to maintain at this time, but we encourage you to stay socially connected with your community via phone, email or video link. We know that the sex industry is an incredibly mobilised and supportive community. Together, we are confident that we will get through this incredibly challenging time. In amongst this crisis, there is a business as usual update to provide to you. As always, there continue to be many changes to the RhED program including new staff, and the hard task of saying goodbye to some as they continue on with their adventures. SUPPORT AND ADVOCACY UPDATE Within the Support and Advocacy stream of the program, we were very sad to farewell Jessie from the program in early January. Jessie initiated some very successful opportunities for the program in her Migrant and Multicultural Health Education role and she will be very much missed by those whom she worked very closely with amongst the industry. See further into this magazine for Jessie’s farewell message. We may need to change the way we offer professional development workshops this year given the current climate. You may be aware that we recently had to put our working with clients living with disability workshop on hold. Please keep in touch with us as we navigate ways forward to reschedule this workshop amongst potentially others. We acknowledged International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers on 17th December 2019 with an awareness walk in Melbourne CBD from the State Library to Parliament followed by a gathering at Loop Project Space and Bar with speakers including; Cheryl Overs, founder of the Prostitutes Collective of Victoria (PCV), and Fiona Patten MP, Leader of Reason Party. RhED was also out in force at Midsumma and Pride March this year which was a great opportunity to connect and celebrate Melbourne’s LGBTIQA+ community and those sex workers identifying with this community. We are a proud bunch in the RhED team and hope this year brings some strong changes to policy to better protect the rights of sex workers and the LGBTIQA+ community. Down with religious discrimination up with decriminalisation!



PATHWAYS UPDATE Greetings readers, I’m Alex, the new coordinator for the RhED Pathways program. I have been at RhED for two years, as our Generalist Case Manager and am excited to step into the coordinator role with such an amazing team. I am passionate about peer work in all service and support sectors, sex worker rights, inclusive feminism supporting intersectionality and good pizza. We have had many staff move onto new challenges at the end of 2019 and I can’t acknowledge enough the great work they have put in. Our previous case manager and coordinator Erin, moved to the UK for a new adventure with her family. Petrea, our hive mind, genius, tireless advocate, also moved on after a few years with us to follow her PhD ambitions. We’d also like to farewell Suzie and Anastasia who showed a great deal of care and passion in both their roles and wish them all the best in their new adventures. One of our Case Managers, Alexandra is on maternity leave and excitingly welcomed in the beautiful Lulu in late December. As we move into 2020, we welcome Stina and Serena to our Pathways team. We would like to thank everyone who expressed interest in the generalist and generalist/justice case manager roles of which there were many strong candidates. Both workers come with unique experiences and strengths and we know they will be assets to our team. Our sex work advisory committee continues to meet quarterly and have assisted the program in numerous opportunities to ensure that diverse lived experience voices are captured in all the work that we do. RhED is passionate about ensuring that the voices of sex workers are heard, and this will be especially important this year as the state government considers its review into the decriminalisation of sex work in Victoria. RhED welcomes this review and is looking forward to the opportunity to amplify the voices of sex workers in an attempt to reduce the stigma and discrimination that pervades the industry through the current licensing system in Victoria. We are getting closer to finalising our new website. This has been an enormous task for the program, and one that has not been possible without the support of the team and our advisory committee. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for the new look! If you are interested in finding out more about being involved with RhED, or simply connecting with us, please don’t hesitate to get in touch at, 1800 458 752 or As always, if you have any feedback about improving the magazine, or any of RhED’s services, please let us know! Stay safe, well and connected with your community in these trying times. In solidarity,







Young Women’s Support Worker

/Ĩ LJŽƵ ĂƌĞ Ă LJŽƵŶŐ ǁŽŵĂŶ ;ΎǁŽŵĞŶ ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐ ƚƌĂŶƐ ǁŽŵĞŶ ĂŶĚ ŐĞŶĚĞƌ ŶŽŶͲĐŽŶĨŽƌŵŝŶŐͿ ĂŐĞĚ ϭϱͲϮϱ LJĞĂƌƐ ǁŚŽ ŝƐ ŚŽŵĞůĞƐƐ͕ Ăƚ ƌŝƐŬ ŽĨ ŚŽŵĞůĞƐƐŶĞƐƐ ĂŶĚͬŽƌ ƐĞdž ǁŽƌŬŝŶŐ͕ ŽƵƚƌĞĂĐŚ ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚ ŝƐ ŶŽǁ ĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ͘ We’re here to help ǁŝƚŚ ƉĞĞƌ ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚ͘ zŽƵ ĐĂŶ ƚĂůŬ ƚŽ ƵƐ ĂďŽƵƚ͗ Housing • Legal Matters • Mental Health

Sex Work • Sexual Health • Alcohol & other Drugs


HAVE YOUR SAY: RENAME RED MAGAZINE! Got a cracking new name for VIctoria’s Sex Worker magazine? We want to hear it! Email with your new name idea, and tell us in 25 words or less why this name would suit this sex worker publication. Submissions close: 30th August, 2020

UGLY MUGS The RhED Ugly Mugs Program would like to encourage workers and brothel managers/owners to sign up for Ugly Mugs reports via email. The Program also welcomes feedback on reporting and receiving Ugly Mugs reports. Please email with Ugly Mugs in the subject line if you you have feedback, or would like to be added to our mailing list. Violence against sex workers is a crime Report Ugly Mugs to RhED :1800 458 752

RED RENDEZVOUS & RhED WORKSHOPS Please note that due to COVID-19 we are currently hitting pause on our monthly meet ups and in-person workshops. We look forward to recommencing these in the future on the other side of the COVID-19 pandemic. If you’d like to receive updates for future meet ups or free professional development opportunities, please email:

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At the time of writing this the RhED team is for the most part in lockdown due to the global pandemic of COVID-19. We are working from home and coming in to the office to offer outreach services to the community in St Kilda and seeing clients in-person on a very minimal basis. We are disconnected from our friends, extended family and each other… and a little too connected to our housemates and immediate families! There is worry for vulnerable family members, people we know have lost their jobs, our routines have been disrupted and especially for the extroverts among us, it’s a painful time. We are also really feeling for sex workers and the most vulnerable people who are being impacted by Coronavirus. There is constant change, uncertainty and the imminent threat of poverty and illness for many of our clients and community. This is being felt extra keenly by the peers on the team whose friends and close ones are being directly impacted by loss of income associated with the shutdown of the sex industry. We wanted to compile some reminders and useful ideas for maintaining wellbeing while our lives are so disrupted. With the aim of keeping it simple and practical these ideas have broken down into the basics of what we need as humans: to breathe, eat, sleep and connect, and a little routine to bring it all together. We hope you can find use for these broad suggestions for staying sane during self-isolation in the coming months. • Take a proactive approach to maintaining your wellbeing: keep up your positive habits and substitute ones that you no longer have access too. If you’re thinking “what positive habits?” now might be the time to get into that morning meditation routine, journalling or taking a daily afternoon walk. • Getting dressed each morning. It’s basic but while staying at home in your pyjamas indefinitely might sound dreamy to some, we all get tired of being slouchy bed slugs eventually. If you start feeling a bit average, jump in the shower and put on fresh clothes • Try and get outside every day, be sure to keep to the most up to date guidelines from the government. The weather is cooling down but there are still sunny days and due to the restrictions brought in to slow the spread of coronavirus we are going to be getting less incidental vitamin D exposure, it might be worth taking a look at a supplement since we will likely be getting even less sun exposure over Winter than usual. • IMPORTANT! Manage your media intake; go for balanced news sources and for staying informed via government advice websites. It’s also fine to take days off news media or social media or put boundaries in place with your close ones who want to share news articles with you. • If you are struggling with a lack of structure or routine, try planning each day the night before. In your plan include activities that enrich different areas of your life. Some basic categories derived from a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) tool called Behaviour Activation are: Mastery, Values, Goals and Pleasure. You can develop a list of activities for each category and plan one of each for your day. If you’d like to learn more about this tool you can search for behaviour activation + CBT online. 11


BREATHE During this time of stress and uncertainty many of us will experience heightened anxiety and potentially a strain on pre-existing mental and physical health conditions. Remembering to breathe properly can help maintain mental clarity and calm and noticeably improve how we feel in our bodies. So, what is breathing properly? Often, especially when we are stressed we are breathing shallowly, into our chest and using our mouth, rather than into our abdomen where the diaphragm is engaged. You can check how you are breathing and remind your body how to breathe by placing a hand on your just under your belly button and inhaling and exhaling slowly through the nose, down into the abdomen so that your hand rises and falls with your breath. With your breath you can downregulate your central nervous system from the ‘fight or flight’ response and engage the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing the ‘rest and digest’ state. Here is a simple breathing exercise that you can do anywhere, if you are feeling slightly on-edge or completely overwhelmed. The premise is to create longer exhale breaths which is what engages the parasympathetic nervous system. 1. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of two, at the top of the breath hold for a count of one 2. Exhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, at the bottom of the breath, hold for a count of one 3. Repeat 4. You can increase the counts of each breath as you gain confidence

EAT With more time at home you may have more time to prepare food, this might need to be balanced out with economic restraints so here are some tips for cheap, healthy eating: • First off, plan your meals before you head to the shop, this way you give yourself time to think about what will support your current nutritional needs and suit your budget. • Batch cooking is time-efficient and if you stash a serve or two in the freezer you have healthy, ready-prepared meals for those days when you are feeling uninspired or are busy and helps avoid overspending on delivery meals. Pasta sauce, curry, dahl, soups and stews are great for the cool weather and keep well in the freezer. • Frozen and canned vegetables, legumes and fish are cheap items and have a long shelf life meaning you can limit your trips to the shops. • If you are feeling inspired, you can try cooking something new each week. Overwhelmed by choice? You’re not alone; try to find a blog or website that suits your taste and diet and give yourself 30 minutes to choose two recipes to prepare that week, remember to put a serve of each in the freezer for later! • Miss sharing meals with friends or family? Create a group chat to share recipes and your cooking triumphs! Include your older family members who might not be getting much social contact during the pandemic, if

they’re not on the socials, call your grandmother for her best casserole recipe and then tell her how it came out! • If you are in strict isolation and or find shopping, food indecision or food preparation are challenges for you there are many options for delivered food like boxes of ingredients with recipes included, delivered pre-prepared meals including options for dietary restrictions and delivered boxes of in-season fruit and vegetables

SLEEP • Adequate sleep promotes optimal brain function, mental wellbeing and physical health, most adults need 7-8 hours of sleep each night. • Sleeping and rising at the same time each day supports your circadian rhythms which regulate processes like sleep, digestion and hormone production. • Move your body! 30 minutes of exercise each day can improve sleep and overall wellbeing. At least 1-2 hours before bedtime is best as exercise releases endorphins and raises your body temperature which can make you feel more alert and awake. • Avoid screens in the one hour before bed and download blue-light filters for your devices. Blue-light emitted from phones, tablets and computer screens inhibit the release of melatonin, one of the hormones involved in maintaining your circadian rhythm. The content of your shows, social media or inbox can also stimulate your mind in both positive and negative ways so be aware of what you are consuming and when.

CONNECTION • Have an online dinner party with friends, there are numerous apps and platforms to do this, it’s a great excuse to dress up together. Or stay in your track pants and watch a movie together by sharing texts, voice or video reactions. • Get old fashioned and make a phone call or write an email, we have an illusion of being ‘in-touch’ with people

by seeing their lives shared on social media but try reaching out to friends and acquaintances to see how they are going during this trying time. • Write daily gratitude lists and share with your close ones by text. • You could start an online book club with your friends Helping others is a great way to connect with others, live your values and it supports your own wellbeing. There are groups coming together on platforms like Facebook to support people affected by the pandemic especially people who are older or living with a disability or chronic illness by delivering food or running errands for people. • Check in on friends and family. Volunteer or donate to a foodbank. Or search for online or remote volunteering opportunities.

EXERCISE • Try and get outside at least once a day, whether for a walk or to sit or do some exercise in the park. • If you live in an apartment take the stairs instead of the lift, or even try doing sprints on the stairs. • There are items around the home to incorporate into your exercise routine, try using large water bottles or laundry detergent as weights or using a towel as a resistance band, there are more ideas for this with explanations online. • You can access free workout videos of all kinds on YouTube whether you want to do cardio, weight work, yoga or a dance class! Not to mention all of the free or subscription apps you can download for exercising at home or in the park

INTERESTS AND RELAXATION • Choose an area of your life or a personal interest to develop (eg budgeting, gardening, decluttering, astrology, drawing) and spend an hour a day researching the area and putting what you learn in to practice, you could offer

to interpret your friend’s birth chart or clear out your cupboards and sell unused items or rearrange your home to help stave off cabin fever. • There are so many forms of media that you can access, podcasts, audiobooks, tv, cinema and books. Try becoming a connoisseur of a new genre, learn about the history of it or read/watch/listen to something new and write reviews for your friends. • Beyond the usual suspects, there are TV and movie subscriptions tailored to your taste. For example, services which cater to foreign and art house cinema, anime or spirituality. • Try to alternate between consuming interesting/ entertaining media and creating something of your own, being creative can be as simple as trying on new outfits, hair or makeup looks or practicing writing, drawing or playing an instrument. • Spend 15-20 minutes writing a to-do list, sort the tasks into categories and choose a task to from each category to complete each day.

Some of you might be lucky enough to welcome some time in isolation, thinking you will have a chance to get to all of those good intentions and abandoned projects accumulated over the years. If this is you, remember, you don’t have to come out of this global crisis the best version of yourself. If you are implementing some positive changes, find progress not perfection, reward yourself and be kind to yourself and others <3




Can you tell me a little about your background? I was born and raised in Rotorua, Aotearoa and I feel a strong connection to Maori culture as this was a prominent part of the environment within which I was brought up, the myths and legends were set in places just down the road from me. At 5 years old, I decided I didn’t believe in the Christian God but there’s still a part of me that believes the stories of the sky father, Ranginui and the sky mother, Papatuanuku and just down the road from my primary school, Rotokawa, there was a lake in which lived a sort of monster, a taniwha. That was pretty scary and awesome! I do not have any known Maori ancestors, though my closest grandparent was Tongan/ Fijian which, along with the fact that I went to a mostly Maori primary school and had the middle name “Ngaio”, confused my little kid mind and it wasn’t until the age of 9 or 10 that I realised I wasn’t Maori, that in fact I was basically a pakeha – a white New Zealander. I was very confused about my identity for a long time and as I’ve spent most of my adult life living in Australia and coming to understand my privileges and the deep, omnipresent and violent effects of colonialism, I find the question of cultural identity to be a difficult one. The little girl inside me thinks she’s Maori and the adult I am knows my responsibility to be aware of my privilege and not colonise spaces which aren’t mine. The people I tend to connect most deeply with are people who feel like misfits who do not belong anywhere, perhaps that says a lot about me. What was the concept for the cover artwork? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the intersections between our relationship with the earth, the body, patriarchy, capitalism, consumerism and colonialism. I see a lot of overlap between the ways in which we try to control the body - particularly bodies of people who are considered “other” - and the ways in which we try to control nature. I’ve also been feeling the heavy horrors of the climate crisis and the devastation it has had on the land and how this is directly related to the mismanagement of the land since colonial times. I’ve been thinking about this as a continuation of the

violence and loss that First Nations people have been experiencing for a long time and how the mistreatment of land and other people will ultimately hurt us all because we are so deeply interconnected with one another. I was also thinking about my own femme body, about my own identity confusion, of race and of place. I had the idea that the shirt the model is wearing might represent both a queer identity but also the idea of a cheap t-shirt made overseas in a sweat shop. I was also thinking about queer, femme sexuality and the political power of bodily autonomy. To be honest, the whole time I was doing this artwork, I was questioning whether, as someone who has only lived in this country for 14 years, I have the right to make this artwork at all. I never was able to answer that question, instead I tried to incorporate the question into my artwork. I like questions, I don’t want to make art that is didactic. Why is the representation of different identities important to you? Recently, I did an urban farming course where we studied permaculture. The principals of permaculture value working with nature and the importance of diversity as a means of resilience. This is different to monocultural agriculture, which is a great way to grow a lot of food but is inherently vulnerable and destructive environmentally. I believe diversity is fundamentally important for resilience and growth. Diverse and deeply interconnected ecosystems have been profoundly adaptable and resilient for most of the history of this planet. I believe that the attempt to create a singular dominant culture is like monocultural farming; it’s an attempt to one-up nature and have control over her, but this is not a healthy relationship and it’s literally killing us. I fundamentally believe that we need diversity in all aspects of life. Reality is complex and true strength comes from the collective wisdom of multiple perspectives. Representation of different identities also matters to me on a personal level. As a queer, polyamorous, kinky, disabled femme artist and porn performer, I have had my own experiences of feeling marginalised. This has given me an insight into how painful, violent and inhumane being an outsider




can be. I’m aware that my experience has been easy compared to so many, which gives me a sense of moral obligation to listen to the voices of others.

are many intersections between sex and gender, anyone who steps outside of heavily policed social norms of gender representation is often punished, this idea of living outside of a rigid binary ties into my interest in any sort of outsider experience. Mostly though, I admit my work explores my own experiences, my relationship with my body and sex and what it means to own these things.

What was your entry point into art, and do you have a preferred medium? I started identifying as an artist when I was 15 years old. I’d been chronically ill for years and was very behind in my education. At that point in my life I had a lot of suicidal ideation and felt I had no value in the world. Discovering I had a talent for painting and receiving some small amount of attention and praise for this talent gave me something to hold onto. It was something I could do. My preferred medium is probably painting but I’m definitely a multimedia artist; I also work in performance, comedy, soft sculpture and video art. One of my greatest passions is currently porn. Your work often leans toward the erotic and grotesque. Has sexuality and gender always been an important theme in your art? As a chronically ill child, I spent a lot of my time in isolation. This led to a sense of being different to other people, to feelings of alienation and monstrousness. This is probably what gave me an affinity towards anything that is considered ugly or different, which then led to the insight that the people and things that our society relegates to the gutter contain so much that is profound and beautiful. To me, the grotesque is beautiful. Sex, which we have always kept behind closed doors and tried to control, has a brilliant, monstrous freedom to it and though I’ve never had much shame about sex, I have nonetheless felt my sexuality contributing to my sense of being an outsider at different points in my life and have certainly experienced stigma for my work in porn. There

What does sex work mean to you? I’ve worked in different aspects of porn on and off for many years and have had a small amount of experience with other forms of sex work. Though it would be simplistic to pretend my experiences have all been positive, I truly have a deepening passion for creating my own porn as a means of exploring my sexuality as a sexually submissive femme and sharing intimacy in a way that I hope might be liberating for others besides myself. It is obvious to me that the attempts to control and regulate how we may use our bodies is a nasty part of patriarchy that even gets reflected in the misogynistic and paternalistic attitudes of sex worker exclusionary “feminists”. I have a strong passion for freedom of sexual expression and of the human right to practice bodily autonomy and so sex worker rights are something I care about deeply. Lastly, if you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now what would you want to say? Honestly? The climate crisis is the biggest existential crisis we have yet to face, we are in serious trouble right now. We need to stand up and fight and we need to do so together. Listen to each other. Plant trees. Make art. Have good, consensual sex. Dismantle systems of oppression. Eat the rich. Love and rage. 19


Let’s kick off with a positive or proud moment, if there’s one you’d like to share? One of my proudest moments was when a renowned producer/ director chose me as the subject for their multiple award winning short adult film, which has gone on to have numerous screenings and win awards internationally. Ah, this is amazing! So what is your relationship to the sex industry and what does it mean for you? To me, the sex industry means diversity and highlights the fact that there truly is someone out there for everyone! Though my reasons for being in the industry have evolved over the years, the one that has stuck with me is self-expression. It’s an opportunity to be who I feel and not what my physical exterior perceives me to be. To experience freedom in a way I would otherwise be restricted. To be able to share (in various forms) that euphoric feeling I experience when all the boundaries

and bullshit I live with on a daily basis disappear is amazing! My hope through my work is to not only bring pleasure to and enrich people’s relationships with themselves and others, but to also advocate, educate and help to breakdown stigmatisation in a positive manner. Sexuality and sexual pleasure is a basic human right for us all – regardless of gender, physicality, race, religion, orientation... the list is infinite! So well said. It’s disheartening to acknowledge the level the stigma still surrounding the sex lives of people with disabilities. Is this something you’ve personally come up against? Yep, the stigma is real, and has almost taken me. Personally, I experience it in three ways: 1. The general stigma surrounding people with disabilities being seen as sexual beings. Even in 2020 an attitude prevails that if you have disability you either don’t, or SHOULDN’T have urges. Often your support network believes it’s not an 21

important enough part of your life, or worth the effort for them to “take the risks” and/or responsibility of facilitating these needs, or dealing with potential repercussions: emotional, physical, or legal. Then there’s potential clients who may fear sexualising or navigating what they don’t understand, or have learned from false stereotypes. As I often say; encounters MAY require a little more physical creativity at times but then again, that’s half the fun right?! Sex should be creative, disability or not... that’s what keeps exploration alive and helps you learn what you do/ don’t enjoy! 2. The stigma surrounding sex work in general – The old “sex work is not real work”. God disapproves. It’s wrong. It’s an unskilled, desperate means to make money. We need to be rescued. That reoccurring script proclaiming that if someone could just give us an opportunity, a chance at an alternative, we could stop doing this awful thing? BULLSHIT, MAMMA!! Hustling is one of the oldest, most skilled professions!

3.The stigma specific to the intersection of being a sex worker and a person with a disability. Those with disabilities are often perceived to be incapable of making decisions regarding their own bodies and sexuality; therefore, unable to choose sex work as a profession, and MUST’VE been manipulated or taken advantage of. The ‘you need to be rescued’ reaction is magnified. ‘Who has allowed this thing to happen to you?’ Even within the industry this is an attitude I often get from other workers who should know better. There is a perception from others that if they work with me they must be taking advantage of a ‘poor disabled person’ - or will be judged for doing so, because I’m perceived to clearly not have the capacity to consent. There’s also industry professionals who’ve actively tried to discourage me, albeit in a friendly way that feels like a condescending pat on the head: “Oh, how lovely to see you here! I wasn’t sure you would come.” Or, “You know you really don’t have to. You’re all signed up, and have your name on the books now, but

we’ll understand if you can’t make it,”. This can be confidence crushing and it makes it even harder to show up again next time. Navigating all of this is an ongoing process and I am always fighting for my right to be acknowledged as a person with the right to choose. The right to express my sexuality, just the same as anyone else. I’m always having to assert that I am legally and chronologically an adult in complete control of my cognitive function. There is nothing impaired about my decision-making processes. This is not something I should have to prove daily, yet sadly I do! I imagine having to dismantle that unwanted paternalism, or even covert lateral violence playing out within the industry is really emotionally taxing. Can I ask how you feel about other areas of your life, say with family, friends, partners or Personal Assistants? I’ve had all kinds of issues with Personal Assistants and their comfortability, or even just willingness to assist. Sadly, some support agencies won’t take you

on, or will drop you when they find out what you do. The key is finding a support agency that recognises sex work is a real job and who you can trust with full disclosure. It’s certainly a challenge but they are out. When Personal Assistants are aware that their employing agency is supportive, they can feel secure that they aren’t doing anything “wrong”, e.g. helping me to dress for a client, or transporting me to a booking. Obviously, there will always be individuals who can’t bring themselves to facilitate something that they believe is morally wrong or exploitative and that’s OK, they can work with someone else. Family, friends and partners are just that— it doesn’t change due to having a disability. I encounter the same issues, as everyone else. Fair call on the family, friends and partners aspect. So, challenges aside, would you say sex work has improved your life in any way? Oh, yes. It’s increased my confidence, resilience and made me a better person! Before, I was much more of a passive and agreeable

MY DISABILITY DOES NOT RENDER ME SEXLESS. person, even if I didn’t agree. The industry has taught me that I CAN stand up for myself, as well as for others. I’ve learned to get up again when knocked down in the face of rejection, even when there’s been times I’ve feared I’m not strong enough. I’ve done things and gone places – something I never thought would be possible when I was younger. It’s awesome to hear your confidence and resilience shining through. Acknowledging this, is there anything you would suggest to other people living with a disability who may be lacking confidence around communicating their sexual needs and wants? This is an extremely difficult thing to do. Members of the general public have the autonomy to navigate this stuff independently, or through a friend. However, if you’re living with a disability, you often don’t have that luxury. You might need help booking an escort, booking transport or (controversially!) you might need physical support to get into a position where these kinds of services can be rendered. You will most likely need to have what may be an uncomfortable discussion (or

possibly several!) with individuals who aren’t necessarily understanding of such issues. They may bring their own prejudices, beliefs and values into the conversation, judge you, and even then, they may not be able to facilitate to the extent that you need. It sadly depends on the particular support company’s policy as to how much support you’ll get even if you ARE taken seriously. Some disability support agencies are faith-based, or fearful of public perception and as a result can be too careful. You will need to develop a thick skin to protect yourself from judgement. Putting yourself out there in this respect is intensely personal. So, find someone you trust to advocate for you. And flowing on from this, do you have any advice for people living with a disability who are potentially looking to work in the sex industry? THE GOLDEN RULE: Research intensely. Decide whether you are the kind of person who will thrive on the challenge; or be adversely affected by the negativity you WILL be exposed to. Think about the digital footprint you are likely to leave, and the affect it will have on 23

you and your loved ones. People just starting out may think it’s just all glamour, but it’s work! It’s not an alternative to work and often not just easy cash! Make sure it’s what you want, then persevere! Be prepared to fight to be taken seriously, to defend your right to inclusion in the industry, and sometimes even the right to your existence! If you’re the sort of person who loves a challenge, you’ll likely find the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, be you. Be authentic. What are some ways that people can be a better ally to ably-diverse sex workers? Take the time to educate yourself and others. Research with an open mind. Listen to people’s stories. For me, my disability doesn’t make me less of a person. I have all the same wants and needs as everyone else. My disability does not render me sexless. It doesn’t it make me cognitively impaired. It doesn’t render me incapable of making decisions about my life. Once you get your head around that; try to help others understand it.



In the porn world and the self-imposed oppressed male-sexuality world, if not acknowledging my gender identity when I’m performing allows someone to further explore their own sexuality, then I think I did my job well and that is a beautiful thing. However, if you refuse to acknowledge my gender indentity in my personal life, then fuck you.

How would you like to introduce yourself and the work you do? My name is Ella Ripley, but on set I prefer people call me Ripley. I’m a porn director and occasional performer from Melbourne. I’m 27 years old and I started in the industry in 2017. I identify as queer, trans, non-binary, and use they/them pronouns. I love what I do for a multitude of reasons, but the people I’ve met and get to work with are the best part. And how did you come to enter the industry? I was kicked out of music school in 2011. I graduated with a business degree in 2015. I wasn’t doing anything with it, nor did I know what I wanted to do with it. Eventually, I got a double Bachelor of Film and Animation, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. Two weeks after graduation while I was searching for work, I decided to investigate the porn industry (on a whim) and I sent my reel through to two companies. They both got back to me the very next morning and before I knew it I was going through a phone interview process – over an hour long and very wild! They requested an in-person interview which I decided to attend, mostly out of curiosity. I left the house at 7:30am in the most respectable job-interview outfit I could muster, and made the journey from St Kilda to the North-side for what turned out to be a rather long interview process! After a wild, two-hour interview they asked me if I’d like to go to a solo-location shoot of a new performer that day… given I didn’t have anything else on, I agreed! I remember awkwardly sitting in a chair observing two shooters film a solo performer, and some sort of a story line about her looking for cereal and getting horny about it. Then there was a scene with the performer taking selfies, and getting horny about it. I was taken aback by the fact that it didn’t feel that weird watching someone masturbate, though it’s probably important to mention I had a turn at full-service work when I was 18, so I guess the sex industry wasn’t that foreign to me. On the lunch break I was asked if I wanted to come up with a scene and shoot it within the next twenty minutes. I was terrified, I didn’t even know if I wanted the job, but I didn’t want to disappoint so I agreed. There was this really bougie

bathtub there, so I “wrote” a bathtub faucet masturbation scene. Although I was shaking, I shot and directed the whole thing in about twenty minutes while the company owner and main director observed me. We didn’t get back to the studio until 6:00pm (long interview!), where the owner praised my work and said she might call me. As I left for the train, the owner chased me down on the street and said, “you shot usable content today” and handed me $50. We hugged and I left. I thought that was quite sweet of her. Flash forward to two weeks after I started where the director of seven years no longer came to work. I don’t know exactly what happened, but they asked me to come on full-time as the main solo director. I agreed but I fully intended to just use it as a funny story and an interim job while I found something more “serious” in the film industry. I gave myself six months. At the six-month mark I had an interview at a prominent animation company to come on to be groomed as a producer. I made it to the final two interviewees but I didn’t get the job. So, I told myself I would leave porn by the one year mark. That came and went. But I still never thought it’d be long term. It was around then that the queer porn industry introduced me to the Northside queer community and the sex worker network. My friend-group started to shift from young film kids, to queers and sex workers. It was through those connections that I eventually allowed myself to see porn as long-term, that what I was doing was valid. Through these experiences I’ve unapologetically figured out not just my gender-identity, but who I am as a person. I get to walk into work every day exactly the person I am, no performing (ironically). In the end, porn has made me a happier, more complete person. Thanks porn! Thanks indeed! So on the topic of porn, what does ethical porn mean for you? I think it started out to tote not treating the performers like absolute shit. But not treating performers

poorly is the bare minimum. Additionally, it needs to be said that there is no “ethical porn” quality assurance agent going around awarding that title, or setting a standard and checking to see if it is even being met. Does ethical porn mean performers aren’t abused? That they’re compensated fairly and their safety is priority? Are performers all grass-fed and free to roam on a farm? I don’t know, and I don’t know its exact origins. For me, performer safety and well-being is the absolute priority. Additionally, I try to cultivate a space that allows performers not to compromise in regards to how they would like to present. I want to present the “brand” they want to present to the best of my ability. So, to me, “ethical porn” is just an oversaturated buzz title, we need to be better and not pat ourselves on the back for treating human-beings with respect and dignity. The boom of Playboy magazine in the 1950s lead to an explosion of male-centric pornography which is still largely dominating the porn industry. How do you navigate this? Like any facet of the sex industry, take the money from the cis-straight men and use it to create other content that is less funded, the content that myself and performers are passionate about. That said, I am more and more discovering that there is a cross-section, and a place where porn for queers/straight cis-women/ straight cis-men and everyone in between can coexist, that is the space I want to cultivate more. The rise of the internet shifted porn into the mainstream and big players like PornHub have made viewing accessible to anyone from anywhere at any time. Have these dominant spaces affected porn directors? I think it’s just changed things. The accessibility has forced directors to meet a higher standard of ethics and explore more niche fetishes. It has also allowed now more than ever for performers to have control of the content they create, which I think is beautiful. The person getting naked in front of the camera should’ve always been in control. Of course, there is less money in it with more 26

accessibility but personally as long as I can afford my basic needs, I’m unfazed by that. Historically, conversations around pornography have been framed around the harms of eroticising the objectification of women, mainly through acts such as gagging or spanking – as a director, do you have any thoughts on this? The latest PornHub trends published lead me to believe that objectification is on the decline. Content such as the above is becoming less popular and people are increasingly desiring porn with personality. But I also believe that if the performers are explicitly consenting to being gagged or spanked, and even enjoy those actions, and people like watching it, then it’s a non-issue. I don’t believe in any sort of kink-shaming. When a performer doing something they enjoy intersects with a viewer that enjoys watching it, that is porn nirvana. There is an increasing demand for non-binary specific pornography. Can you comment in this area? I’m not sure, diverse representation is always ideal but historically to be funded, content needs to also appeal to straight cis-men. There-in lies the cross-section I hope to cultivate more. The porn that I’ve performed in was surprisingly popular with straight cis-men and I don’t really present as a female. I don’t think cis-men see me as trans non-binary, more a “tomboy” but that doesn’t bother me personally. In the porn world and self-imposed oppressed malesexuality world, if not acknowledging my gender-identity when I’m performing allows someone to further explore their own sexuality, then I think I did my job well and that is a beautiful thing. However, if you refuse to acknowledge my gender identity in my personal life, then fuck you. What’s next for you? Hopefully more openly diverse content creation in direct collaboration with performers. If people want to contact you to collaborate, how can they reach you? Via Twitter: @EllaRipleyX

When a performer doing something they enjoy intersects with a viewer that enjoys watching it,

that is porn nirvana.


Can I first start with asking about your relationship to the sex industry? I’m a multi-industry worker. I still don’t really know how to accurately explain what my relationship with the industry is like. It’s been the most exciting, empowering and sexually liberating experience. I’ve learnt so much about myself and about humans in general. Although I’m grateful for everything I’ve learnt and experienced, I’m currently taking a break. It’s been emotionally draining having to advocate for my rights and opinions to be heard or valued.

just Chinese, my ethnicity is also part of 3 other Asian countries!). I wasn’t born in Australia, but I moved here with my family when I was younger. It was extremely confusing growing up. I could speak three languages fluently but I found I never really fit anywhere and always felt a bit “other” regardless of which community I was in. This sounds really challenging to navigate. Can I ask if these challenges surrounding ethnicity ever play out within the sex industry as well? I’ve struggled at times with other Asian clients. My appearance is Asian and so they automatically think they are privileged and can bargain or get things for free. Ethnicity aside though, my experience is that all clients expect me to be the quiet, shy, submissive stereotypical Asian girl. I love shocking them with my fluent English!

That emotional drainage you speak of is unfortunately all-too-commonly referred to within the industry under current regulations. It’s good you’re listening to what you need right now. Let’s go back a step, how did you first get involved? It was money-related. I was in debt from some very expensive and unforeseeable vet bills. A friend told me she had started working for extra money and was kind enough to let me ask as may questions as I wanted about her experiences. Coincidentally, she needed to find someone to cover one of her shifts that evening, I didn’t think too hard, I just I said I’d take her shift! I rocked up knowing absolutely nothing or what to expect and didn’t look back. Looking back, it was a wild time for me.

Stereotyping can be really problematic so good on you for challenging them. On the topic of stereotypes, broader society has been known to harmfully conflate sex work with human trafficking narratives and often in the context of migrant workers. Acknowledging your Asian appearance, has this myth had any impact on you or your work? Yes!!! Everyone assumes (before I speak) that I’m trafficked from overseas and forced into sex work because of my appearance. When I speak, they get confused and assume that I need to be ‘saved’ because I’m sending money back home, or that I’m against my own nationality because there is too much competition from how prevalent Asian sex workers are?? There are ‘captain-save-a-hoe’ types everywhere, but I think they feel more inclined to focus their attention toward the Asian workers.

After that initial shift cover, what influenced you to stay on in the industry for the time you did? I kept working for so long because I loved how it made me feel. My working persona was so confident, strong, fun and determined. I often wished my day-time persona was more like her! The money was also really good, and I loved having ‘girlfriends’ and a sense of community within the industry. It provided me social opportunities, catching up before or after work at really odd hours, talking smack about the clients and spending the hardearned money together knowing we didn’t have to worry about anything! Having a sense of community is so important. Is this something that’s been a barrier for you at times? I’m what some people refer to as “ABC” also known as Australian Born Chinese (although I’m more than

This sounds royally patronising. What do you think would be helpful to see in terms of ally-ship from people both inside and outside of the industry? Don’t automatically assume we need rescuing, and stop letting others assume we need rescuing. Suspend your assumptions, get to know us, and listen to our individual stories before validating your own misinformed confirmation biases. This job requires a lot of empathy, self-awareness and resilience, and all the amazing workers out there should be celebrated as individuals. 29



Your identity holds some really interesting and brave intersections. Can I ask firstly, how do you choose to identify? For me, I learned early on that my self-identity was too complex to fit into language, and I’ve just accepted other people’s interpretation of my identity. To keep things simple, I generally stick to the gender I present as (female), although I do think of myself as non-binary. OK, I can understand this. So how did you first come to access the sex industry and why were you drawn to it? I first engaged in sex work when I was about 18 doing private massages. I had absolutely no exposure into the industry or a sense of what it was, having lived a fairly sheltered upbringing until I left home at 17. I was bound by no norms, expectations or standards, so that meant I stepped over all boundaries. This worked to my advantage as I bolstered myself up in the industry by demanding high rates – which was a bit strange for a young lady to do. And I was drawn to it for the same thing as everyone else – money. But there were other motivations like the need for adventure, curiosity, high sex drive, searching for independence, time limitations, deteriorating health. And can you tell me about your experience balancing the intersections of queer, Muslim and sex worker? How do you navigate the interplay of these identities? I have many internal meltdowns trying to make sense of my identities but I generally keep those conflicts to myself. I don’t subject other people to the knowledge of my identities for reasons such as: if it’s hard for me, it’ll be impossible for them. I don’t care for other people’s opinion and I don’t need to be validated or to prove anything to anyone. In this way I’m quite secure with myself and confident that I’m aligning with integrity and truth, but intellectually I do get stumped sometimes. My first assignment with identity would be to my religious upbringing, then my gender, then my sexuality, then my occupation. Given how long I’ve been exposed to each of these ideas, it makes sense that I bond most strongly with my religious identity. However, religion has its own set of problems I’ve never been able to resolve, and since I was 13 I have been unable to fully give myself, in faith, to organised religion. This discordance is a conflict in of itself. I am someone who is full of faith, but with no direction one feels spiritual emptiness – to then relate this idea to my other identities brings another set


of problems. I’ve resented being born a female due to being subjugated to unfair rules and standards from a young age (as well as life threatening ovary related problems), but on the other hand it has made me a stronger person and I have easy access to femininity that I would struggle to survive without. Then I have to wonder, if I wasn’t punished for being female, would I be different? Would I be less damaged from enduring the trauma (as opposed to ‘stronger’)? These are the sorts of ruminations that keep me up at night, but the answer to it all is actually quite simple. One time I was wearing my headscarf for a funeral, (as it is mandatory in a mosque) and I confessed to my step-father how relieved and delighted I was to wear the scarf again, but that I felt guilty, ashamed and an imposter given my lifestyle. He replied, in earnest: ‘it’s nobody’s business what you wear or how you choose to practice your life and faith. That’s between you and God’. I try to remind myself of his words every time I get caught up in my head. It’s true of many people that guilt, shame or imposter syndrome leads to people feeling the need to separate or hide parts of their identity in different spaces to feel accepted. Is this something you can relate to, and how have you navigated this? As a white, conventionally-attractive female I’m privileged enough to walk into most spaces without raising any eyebrows, and I generally choose the path of least resistance because I have that internal security and confidence to fall back on. That doesn’t

mean I ‘hide’ my identities, I view it more that nobody is privileged enough to see my multifaceted sides unless they are close to me. I recall one time where I chose to wear my headscarf to the Scarlet National Forum where everyone is a sex worker. I don’t know that it’s common to see a visibly Muslim woman there, but it was a time of mourning for me and important to pay my respects. One worker was brave enough to ask me about it, and I could see everyone prick up their ears in curiosity. Some people who had known of me for years just assumed I was a westerner. Luckily, sex workers are some of the most accepting people so once I explained where I was at emotionally, it was put to rest. Observing you hold your identities close, are there any key challenges you’ve become aware of when acknowledging this post-colonial and largely heteronormative society? Because I don’t present as your stereotypical queer, Muslim or sex worker, I manage to dodge a lot of challenges. When I was 10, I remember being exposed to Islamophobia by a parent at my school which confounded me. The few times it’s been brought up as an adult was once when sex workers were bickering and someone thought I was trying to gain brownie points for being Muslim, with the inference that I was thereby marginalised, which is obviously not true because I am white and I don’t face the same challenges as my darker skinned and covered Muslim brothers and sisters. It was a mean-spirited misunderstanding and it didn’t bother me. For me, I think the greatest challenge is actually

convincing people that I am a queer Muslim sex worker, even if I look like I’m from the heteronormative post-colonial world. Given the covertness of your queerness and faith, have you ever had to defend either identity or challenge a client during a booking? When people ask where I’m from and I say I’m from a mainly Muslim country, it startles some and sends us off to a conversation about it. Most clients assume I’m third generation or so given my appearance but I’m not. I’m lucky I’ve never had a client ask to fetishise my cultural upbringing although I’m not sure I’d be a great candidate for the job, given I’m a blonde, white woman. And I use my queerness as a marketing point to generate more work with my friends! Broader society tends to draw assumptions about the rigidity of Islam. How do you feel your faith views sex work and queerness? Everyone experiences Islam, being queer and being a sex worker differently, there is no objective experience. I’m fortunate enough to have done well operating each of these identities concurrently. I find that the Muslim community (especially females) have a natural affinity with sex workers because the parallels of Islamophobia/ whorephobia and radical feminism follow the same line of logic i.e. YOU’RE unacceptable because you belong to THIS community which is WRONG or you are FORCED by patriarchy to WEAR or DO things a woman wouldn’t NORMALLY do. With that said however, I generally don’t readily volunteer information about my sex working identity or my queer identity to the Muslim community out of respect for my family. While they’re grown-ups that can handle their own, I don’t want them to experience lateral stigma when they don’t have to. I find a lot of marginalised communities tend to stand up for each other because they understand what it feels like to be treated unfairly and poorly. It’s a small silver lining that experiencing marginalisation can cultivate a sense of support and solidarity between communities. Speaking of support, it seems fitting to mention the platform you founded, Red Files. Can you tell me about the concept and how it all got started? Red Files is a national online platform to help create safety and prevent violence against sex workers. The concept of Red Files began long before we set it into

technology. Sex workers were already organising and sharing information on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp, but I realised early on there was no way to future-proof our hard work or to disseminate the information to sex workers who need it the most. That’s when I started doing the groundwork to build Red Files and soon after, more challenges surfaced for sex workers – FOSTA/SESTA, being kicked off from the internet, discrimination and stigma – which gave even more of a reason to start an independent sex worker platform. If it wasn’t for the hard work, trust and faith of my peers, Red Files would have never lifted from the ground. It’s such a brilliant platform for peer support and education, all workers should sign up! And you have another initiative, Red Cloud? This one is more a personal business venture – it was designed to give sex workers an alternative, safe and secure option for their website development. Too often I’d hear of sex workers being rorted by ‘IT experts’, overcharged and under-delivered. I was able to assemble a list of affordable services that sex workers needed in the digital space including hosting, web development, image editing, copy-writing and editing, photography and videography, domains, domain email setup, one on one website coaching and SEO audits. Because I have 11 years of industry experience, I have the technical experience to help and guide sex workers to their goals. In addition, it’s always supportive and helpful to have a business that’s sex worker friendly on your side and looking out for you – which none of the big tech companies do for us. And on the topic of the digital space, what are the biggest hurdles you’ve noticed Australian-based sex workers are facing in light of FOSTA/SESTA and do you have any advice for anyone struggling to navigate these hurdles? Sex work is all about risk assessment and since FOSTA/ SESTA came out, our risk portfolio has grown bigger. As a result, a lot of sex workers aren’t able to operate in a safe or effective way – losing business, making compromises

to their business model out of necessity, becoming unsafe, stressed and demotivated. Personally, I’ve seen workers do things they normally wouldn’t do because they need to pay bills at the end of the day and even I, who happened to be working in America under FOSTA/SESTA found myself hustling in person, which is a form of sex work I have never felt safe or comfortable doing. On Red Files we have articles about how to navigate online safely in a post-FOSTA/SESTA world. If the process is too complicated, you can always hire someone like me to coach you through it! That’s great for workers to know there are professionals that support them and are available to help guide them through the changing climate. Lastly, if you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? This is God. Stop being cunts. You’re all really off the mark. Do better. Be kinder. Stop being so quick to judge something you don’t understand. Stay humble. Peace out.



Being raised a Catholic has definitely created barriers to how I’ve understood and accepted myself. Growing up I faced real struggles with my sexual identity. During my childhood, we were taught that gays and lesbians were the devil. So, naturally it took me many years to sit firmly in the fact that I am very much attracted to women. From a young age, there were so many labels that I was warned to stay clear of that it was hard to separate my conflicting teenage realisations: 1. I am attracted to women, and 2. I am going to Hell for all eternity for being attracted to women. It was a horrible feeling. So unsurprisingly, coming out as transgender was no walk in the park either. If lesbians were the devil, surely being lesbian then trans* must make you worse than Hell itself? I was so terrified that I hid my true identity – even from myself - for many years. I now realise that allowing myself to become myself is the greatest gift I have ever given me. As I began to relinquish my fear, I slowly began to realise that this was a feeling I’d had, and something I’ve known deep down for my whole life. It was merely distorted and masked by the label “lesbian”. I love women and I hated being a woman. The two can coexist. As it happened, self-exploration of my true gender and identity led me to the colourful and intriguing world of sex work. So, a transgender, woman-loving sex worker. Hey, if I’m already going to burn in hell according to my parents? For an industry so often demonised and stigmatised by society, it sure did make me feel good! It helped me accept all parts of me and embrace the fluidity of gender expression outside of the binary. When I worked, I leaned 39

into femininity. Performing hyper-femininity, putting on expensive lingerie, and being exposed to a wide range of penis shapes and sizes actually helped me sit so comfortably in my truest self. Permission to audition and act as the opposite help to affirm my true self. Exploring, expressing and embracing all parts of your identity is the true form of self-expression. Being feminine as a man, or masculine as a woman does not make you any less you, if anything you might find a part of you that you did not know you needed. For me, taking off the makeup, the lingerie and washing away the femininity at the end of a booking left me with such clarity and a sense of unapologetic permission to show my true self to my broader community. You could say sex work was my pilgrimage to letting go of the multiple conditions my family created for me. It allowed me to express myself, play with identity, and pull confidence from a place I didn’t realise existed within me. Sex work has been a huge support to my dysphoria and assisting with the grieving process of losing the female version of myself. It led me back to my sexual confidence and built me into a much stronger and more accepting human being. I am now a lot more open to all kinds of conversations and experiences I would usually shy away from. Though I’m hanging up my work boots for a break, I plan on keeping my femme working lingerie and dancing around scantily clad in my living room when nobody else is home. Fixed gender binaries are harmful, and sometimes you’ve just got to do things that help you to celebrate all the parts of you without worrying about the world’s approval. Going against everything I was taught and following my heart is what my parents would call the ultimate rebellion. Others would call it growing up. I just call it becoming me.

than just

their sex lives.



Queer people

are more

To start off, how do you choose to identify? As a queer, non-binary femme person of colour (PoC). How did you first come to access the sex industry? Did you have any peers already accessing this area? I honestly didn’t have a very positive view of the sex industry when I was younger – it was unfortunately informed through the “oppressed and anti-feminist” rhetoric I was familiar with. It wasn’t until I became involved with burlesque and other avenues of artistic sexuality that I got to understand the legitimacy of sex work and sex worker politics. I wasn’t necessarily looking to access the sex industry, but through becoming friends with sex workers who were also involved with the arts or the queer community it’s become a part of my world. Has the sex industry provided you with something different to that of other hook-ups or relationships? Trying to find hook-ups with other women and nonbinary folks as someone who is not a cis guy is HARD!!! So much of dating culture in that community is oriented towards long-term relationships – there’s not really a good avenue for casual sex in a similar way to how gay male culture has Grindr. Sometimes I just have very specific sexual needs and fantasies I want met, and engaging with sex workers helps me get to the point without having to worry about building up a relationship beforehand. That’s not to say that I can’t get those desires met from more conventional means – it’s just that sex work can be a more direct and immediate channel. Also, sex workers tend to know what they’re doing, and they are pretty focused on making sure I am fulfilled – which is not a guarantee with hook-ups or relationships.


And does identifying as a queer, non-binary femme PoC client, influence the type of experience or type of worker you access? Predominantly I’m looking for workers who are cool with working with queer non-binary femme people and aren’t weird about it! I don’t necessarily need them to be an activist in the queer community or whatever, though it can help to be politically aligned. As long as there’s respect and care, it’s all good. Although, finding workers that respect you can feel really intimidating! So much of the discussions around sex work and respect has been centred on respecting sex workers, which is completely fair! But there doesn’t seem to be a space for femme/ non-binary clients to discuss their experiences. You just get the “you paid for it, deal with it” script. As a client, have you felt more comfortable accessing private or brothel experiences? I’ve only been to a brothel once so I don’t know if I have enough information to compare! I have found it easier to communicate concerns and boundaries with a private worker – in a brothel you don’t immediately know who you’ll be working with, and the conversations tend to be shorter. There also seemed to be some norms about how bookings work in brothels that I found a bit confusing. My brothel experience was good, though the receptionist did assume I was there to work and then made another comment about being surprised that the worker I chose didn’t charge me extra for girl/girl action. It’s not like extra fees for presenting as a certain gender are published or mentioned anywhere? I like that with a private worker you get to have a conversation before the meet up. It makes everything feel more clear and considered. Have there any barriers to you accessing these experiences? The main one would be cost – I’m a freelancer with very itinerant income, so I have to wait for a windfall or to have enough disposable income to be able to afford to see a sex worker. There can be further financial barriers if you can’t afford to book a hotel. I know there are outdated laws limiting where sex workers can host clients which creates barriers both ways! Brothels can be more economic than private workers in this regard, but there’s that aforementioned lack of prior communication that can be tricky to navigate. That said, once all the communication is sorted and money has crossed hands, everything else has been pretty straightforward. There’s a vast range of reasons clients seek out sex workers, though many express the companionship being just as important as the sex. Do you have any thoughts or opinions on this? It makes sense. I guess I could comment more if there was a specific worker I saw on a regular basis? There has been one worker I’ve been a client of twice cause she’s cool and treats me super well, so through these experiences I can see companionship being really important, especially if you value personal connection in your sexual encounters. In acknowledging the urgent need for services (and society) to better understand and cater for intersectionality, what has your experience been in terms of the literacy around the intersecting parts of

your identity within the sex industry? Finding a worker who I know would be at some level open towards having non-male clients was a little tricky, mainly because the marketing language was so much geared towards “gentlemen” and I had to do a little digging around to find folk who either explicitly mentioned being welcome to female clients (I’ve not seen one that mentioned non-binary clients yet) or at least kept their messaging gender-neutral. But since I’ve found suitable workers, they’ve all been pretty welcoming and accepting when it comes to gender. I also ended up learning that one of the workers was also non-binary but presents as femme for work, so that was a nice surprise! Race was where it’s been tricky. The sex workers I’ve worked with are all (as far as I know) white. This hasn’t been intentional, it’s just who I happened to find at the time. For the most part it’s been OK, but there was someone who just went on and on about weird exotifying stories of my origin culture which made me really uncomfortable. However, having already paid and already being in the middle of the session, I didn’t feel like I had any way to back out of it. That experience made me think of a potential barrier that other non-male clients may face: there’s no real clear guidelines on what to do if your experience with a worker turns uncomfortable, or if you want to back out for any reason. I’ve tried to talk about it before with other workers and I understand that if a client cancels that’s an income loss but I wonder if there’s a way to hold all of those concerns together to reach positive outcomes for everyone? Has accessing sex workers had any positive effects on the way you feel about your sexuality, gender, physical/mental health or overall identity? If so, how? Good experiences can certainly boost my mood, especially after a very stressful period of time or if it’s just been a while since I last had sex! I don’t know that it’s had much of an impact on my identity per se, at least

nothing that is immediately apparent.

the time. But that also gets dragged in as an example of how queer people can’t be trusted in non-sexual spaces, especially with children, as though their existence is inherently predatory. There needs to be a way to balance the celebration of sexuality without trying to suppress it to be more “respectable” with the understanding that queer people are more than just their sex lives.

There’s a significant overlap between the sex worker community and the queer community. In your opinion, has being a part of the queer community had any positive effects regarding the potential stigma of accessing the services of sex workers? Hmm, that’s an interesting one. I think there is probably less stigma around the existence of sex work as an industry, especially with the growth of third-wave feminism and the push back against sex-workerexclusionary politics. But I’m not sure if that translates to reducing stigma around being a client. I think it’s more acceptable to be a client in the gay male community (from what I understand) but not so much for other genders, especially women. Personally, I faced a lot of backlash from a particular subset of the community (likely the sex-worker-exclusionary folk) after I wrote about my experiences as a client of sex workers. They claimed I was a “rapist” because sex workers are all coerced and can’t consent. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if other women/non-binary types, especially queer ones, are worried about being similarly accused. There’s also the very real worry about stigma from wider society if outed as a client, such as losing jobs or other opportunities – while there are some resources for sex workers dealing with the fallout from stigma, there isn’t much on the client side.

As a client, what advice would you give to sex workers about working with queer people, non-binary people and/or people of colour? Pay attention to the voices of marginalised people across backgrounds, listen to what they need, give the support they ask for. Consider the ways that sexuality in general intersects with different cultures, and with marginalisation (and maybe lay off on the “XYZ country clientele are always like this” comments). Be more upfront and transparent on whether you welcome clients who aren’t men. If they contact you with concerns around pricing or safety, or even ask things that seem a bit 101, give them the benefit of the doubt – we’re not being time wasters, there just isn’t really a good guide to navigating these conversations, especially when they aren’t heteronormative scenarios! It would be helpful to consider payment plans and more relaxed deposit rules for people on lower pay brackets, and it would be awesome if there was some kind of accessible network/ resource for sex workers happy to work across genders!

As we continue to edge closer to acceptance, why do you think broader society still often views queer communities and queer spaces as hyper-sexualised? There is a deep, deep history around queer spaces and sex, mainly because so many pivotal spaces for queer people in oppressive times have been spaces like leather bars and bathhouses and such. And that history is important! I don’t think we should sanitise the sexuality of the queer community just because it’s not PG-rated all

If you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? Sex work is work like any other. Also, employers, please pay women and non-binary people a thriving wage already so that we can have the same access to the sex industry as cis-men.



Are you open or “out” to anyone in your life about your sex working identity? I’m not exactly “out” – this isn’t a gender reveal party. I don’t start conversations with “hi, I’m a sex worker!” It’s more through the bits and pieces of advocacy I do (like the online campaign for the decriminalisation of sex workers) that people get a sense of this. If somebody asked me if I was a sex worker I would never deny it. I’d say yes, I am, because I am! Although none of my close cis-gender, straight friends who see my campaigns have asked me any questions about it, they just don’t treat me any differently. So, I don’t believe in coming out because it’s not a big deal! Ugh, gender reveal parties, let’s stay away from that problematic area! So, just acknowledging you mentioned some of your close friends don’t ask questions when they see you in sex worker campaigns, do you feel like you have supports? I have supports within my community. Behind Closed Doors (a radio show on 3CR) are one of my biggest supports at the moment, they listen to whatever I have to say on the show. I feel both supported and like I have a platform to speak. That’s awesome. And given you’re getting your voice out there to broader society, how do you feel Australian responds to you and all the multifaceted parts of your identity? When I first moved here in 2004 I got a lot of attention – I had no idea I would be that popular to Caucasian men! So, my personal experience has been that Australian men love trans people of colour, perhaps opposites attract? I imagine if a white trans woman went to Asia, they’d get a

It reads like perhaps sex work has enabled you to become more of yourself? Yeah, I feel like it’s quite rare, like it’s not an Asian thing it’s a white, Western thing – exhibitionism and being exposed online. I didn’t realise someone like me had access to it. I was on Google one day and an ad just popped up – this Brazilian girl. She was doing all these things and she had the most beautiful, black luscious hair and dark skin and I just thought, I want to be her!

lot of attention from Asian men. Do you feel this could ever overstep healthy attention into the areas of exotification or over-fetishisation? Oh, it’s not 100% of people all the time. Each individual is different. But my general experience is that Australian men enjoy being with trans women of colour – there’s a market for us! Indeed! So, you were born and raised in Singapore. Can you tell me a little about the origins of your sex work experience there, and how you came to enter the industry? So, I started out as a model for a website in the late 90s. There wasn’t the number of social platforms we have now back then, and static pictures sold really well. As I started transitioning, I became more of an exhibitionist model – there was a real market for that: selling soft-porn pictures of trans women online. I remember contacting one of the websites in LA and said, “I’d like to model for you”. Eventually someone came to Singapore and took pictures of me, went back and it was a hit. We made a lot of money from that one season of pictures. So, they came back the next season and eventually they were coming four times a year to shoot me because I was so comfortable and liked to show off!

It’s great to be moving (slowly) into an era of visibility for healthy and diverse role models. On that note, has the sex industry and sex work had any impact on how you feel about yourself – your body and your sexuality? It’s helpful remembering that you can’t please everybody, but also everybody is somebody’s type. I’m on the chubby side – not all clients will want chubby girls, but I’ve also got to acknowledge there’s also a market for us and it’s actually good for business! Also, I don’t let the work control me, I control the work! This has had a great positive impact on both my physical and mental health. Beautifully said. And just to go back to when you first started out in Singapore doing online photography work – transitioning is often a complex time for many trans* people. Did revealing your body throughout your transition for the desires of others have any influence on your body acceptance and positivity? To be honest, I was always a confident person growing up anyway. I think a part of me knew transgender women have always been overly sexualised and fantasised about by other men, and so when I began transitioning I just thought, well if I’m being sexualised anyway I might as well get paid for it!

Unreal! And this was all happening amidst your transition? Yeah! It paid for my surgery. It paid for my college. It was amazing. Sex work providing money to then access genderaffirming surgery is an incredibly liberating story. 45

Great way to take that control back. And bringing it forward to current times, what does being a sex worker mean to you? Well, it means I hardly go on dates anymore! My experience has been that guys use trans women as a conduit to fulfilling their own sex fantasies which means I can have lots of sexually fulfilling experiences that have a clear ending and then I can get on with my life! It sounds like you’ve got really healthy boundaries? Oh yes, for me it’s all about healthy boundaries! Sex workers as we both know face a disproportionate amount of barriers, stigma and violence. In your experience are their extra or unique barriers that are specific to trans* sex workers of colour? Yes. This didn’t specifically affect me but when I was doing brothel work I saw trans* sex workers there more affected than cis-female workers by mental health and drug issues. Could these mental health and drug issues perhaps be a response to external stigma and hardships? Perhaps. And what I can tell you from my experience is that clients often offer you drugs. I’ve always been fixed in my boundaries and staying away from drugs but I can see how easy it would be to get sucked into that world… especially if you’re doing hard bookings, long shifts, need

the money, want to escape etc. LGBTI equality and human rights in Europe and Central Asia have previously said that sex work is the most accessible type of work for survival for “exotic trans women.” Do you have any opinions or thoughts on this statement? Oh, definitely. Trans women are still widely discriminated against in many employment areas, and the sex industry provides a space that trans women tend to thrive in. I’ve seen cis-men comfortable in their sex and gender dressing up as women for work just because there’s such a market for it. Really? Wow. Although, I hope this doesn’t economically affect trans women given the disproportionate amount of stigma in other employment areas. Can I ask, do you have any tips on keeping yourself safe while you work that other trans women of colour might benefit from knowing? I think it all comes back to being in control of the work, not letting the work control you. I don’t let money be my main driver, that’s when you can get sloppy with your boundaries and the rules you have in place to keep yourself safe. If a client doesn’t seem respectful, if they seem overly drug-affected, listen to your instinct. The money isn’t worth it. Don’t work hard, work smart! Don’t work hard, work smart. I like that. Lots of sex

workers have previously named their discomfort, or flagged issues in accessing assistance from health professionals. Have you got any thoughts on this, and are there any extra hurdles you’ve experienced in being both transgender and a sex worker? Not really, I know it can be uncommon, but my experiences really lean toward the positive side and health professionals in Australia have always been professional, kind and informative. When I first started going to the sexual health clinic I was shy at first, to be naked in front of a stranger but I go and get a screening every three months so I’m quite used to it now, but I’m also comfortable because I’m accepted and they’re just doing their job.

The challenges that trans* women go through are often quite visible. If you want to be an ally, don’t treat us differently. And speak up if you hear people saying problematic things about trans people, or people of colour! We’re not intimidating, but I think people often feel intimidated or won’t acknowledge us out of some kind of politeness around not wanting to get it wrong. This isn’t helpful either, be open to listening and learning. Yeah, I do get a sense sometimes that certain conversations are avoided out of the fear of getting it wrong or accidentally creating offence, do you think this risks creating a whole other set of barriers? Yes. This is why I have my own page when I can educate and raise awareness and help people learn how to become a good ally! You can follow it here:

That’s great to hear. And is there a strong sense of community within trans* sex workers in Melbourne? Yes, it’s called Sisterhood. So whenever we see a trans* woman who seems a bit lost or needing peers, we help them. It’s a sisterhood thing, it’s been like that since day one. Race, religion, whatever. It doesn’t matter, we don’t care. We just want to help each other to be able to keep moving forward. We look after each other.

Thanks for sharing! And lastly, in your opinion how can non sex workers be better allies for sex workers? Educate yourself Sex work is work. It’s not a big deal. And be kind! Anyone you know could potentially be a sex worker and it would be total shame if you’re never lucky enough to know this because they’re too scared to tell you for fear of being judged.

That’s beautiful. I feel like that captures the true essence of community. And how can people (not just sex workers) more broadly be better allies for trans women of colour? We’re just human. Every person has their challenges. 47


How did you migrate from a medical researcher to a Senior Mistress and Pro-Domme sex worker? Well I’d previously been travelling around Australia and living in a van for 18 months. When I returned I applied for a job in a well-known institute in Melbourne and got the position straight away. The combination of managing a whole floor of ten staff and working from 7am-5pm each day all while still living out of a van led me to panic! I didn’t feel like I was ready to jump into such a commitment but was unsure outside of my industry what other work was available for me. My partner at the time jokingly asked me, “why don’t you become a Dominatrix?” I didn’t realise he was joking and the very next day when he left our van to go to his full-time printing job I called two different venues in Melbourne, one of them being Fetish House. The rest is history! A joke that accidentally turned into a seminal career moment! And how did you come to decide which areas you were going to focus on within the industry? I’ve been a service provider for ten years and the types of services I have offered have evolved and changed over time. It’s been dependant on several areas: my level of experience at the time which influences what I’ve felt confident to specialise in, my lifestyle outside of the dungeon and its influence on my health and fitness levels, and my lovers at different points in time and our boundaries within that relationship.

And in your starting out days were you mentored? Do you think mentoring is essential for babykink sex workers? I entered into an apprenticeship and also received mentoring from a Mistress, who I felt I had a close bond with. I feel that in any position where you are providing a service/s that requires accuracy, then practice is the key and exposure is paramount. Working with varying body types and responses to different stimuli highlights the importance of gaining exposure to a multitude of responses to be able to adjust accordingly. Working in an establishment where you have many other work colleagues offering very similar services also really helps to educate on so many levels and support you when you are unsure of how to handle situations. It can be a highly stressful environment. It’s important for your mental and

physical health that you have people there to assist in any way possible, so yes I’d say mentoring is beneficial for everyone. And being a kink-based sex worker sounds pretty glamorous and edgy, but what are the mundane parts of your job that a non-sex worker wouldn’t think of? Cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. Cleaning can take a lot longer than the session itself. I can imagine! What about in the booking itself, are there certain entry requirements for a person to be able to become a kink and fetish worker (such as fitness or strength)? Actually, fitness and strength are not expectations that Fetish House has for our service providers. What is important is the ability to listen, follow instructions, and stay clear

on both the clients and your own boundaries. Given you’re engaging in a range of intimate ways with other human beings it’s also important to cultivate empathy, compassion, and on occasion, a resilient stomach. Awareness of boundaries, listening ability, empathy, and compassion – these sound like wholesome job requirements that any industry could benefit from. Has working in this environment had any impact on how you feel about yourself, your body, or your sexuality? There’s no doubt in my mind that working in this industry has influenced my personality. I’ve always been bisexual and open in relationships before working in the industry, but I had never owned slaves/subs/bottoms before. It’s been a very new experience to have polyamorous relationships

with others on a higher level. I’ve also found that my body image has been both uplifted and also totally deflated at different times throughout my career. For example, it’s uplifting when colleagues and/ or clients compliment my creative abilities or my looks, and yet it can be deflating if I compare myself against my work colleagues and their fitness, physique, or multitalented personalities. It can also be a challenge (as I’m sure many workers experience at times) not to take it personally when a client doesn’t choose you when meeting other service providers. Indeed, that one can be challenging and is unfortunately guaranteed at times. Can I ask, how do you decompress after a challenging shift/booking? Talking it over with my work colleagues is helpful in several ways.

Firstly, I want them to be aware of what I have experienced to prepare them in case they’re ever in a similar situation. It’s also important to have support if I’ve felt that my boundaries where crossed in some way, or if I’ve felt my client wasn’t getting their needs met no matter what I tried to do to rectify it. My long drive home from the dungeon is also always helpful to decompress. And is there anything common amongst clients that you wish they would just STOP doing? I would like my clients to stop bargaining, negotiating and pulling the “I’m unemployed” or “I’m a student” card. We are a luxury service, not a necessity. But maybe for some clients we should be subsided by Medicare or claimed through private health, as we assist our clients on many levels. On that note, is there anything you wish broader society understood more about kink and fetish work? That people who inflict pain on others are not psychopaths or sociopaths. We are actually empaths who help facilitate what others need, and at times pushing our own boundaries to help others achieve their fantasies. For anyone looking at getting into the realms of paid kink and fetish work, what would be your three top pieces of advice? 1. Expect to be dealing with lots of human bodily fluids. 2. Remember at all times that you do not have to provide any service you are not comfortable with. It’s ok to say NO. 3. Ensure enjoying yourself comes naturally. If not, then you are in the wrong industry. What are the equipment basics for someone looking to get started as a kink professional? I guess the “typical” pieces of equipment are: bondage gear, corporal punishment implements, outfits, Cock and Ball devices and aseptic cleaning products. And lastly, if you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? You only live once, so why not now.


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If I had to use one word to describe my relationship with the sex industry it would be measured. I’ve always had one foot in and one foot out the door. Yes, I am a sex worker, but I’m also a mother, an academic, a sister, a daughter, a lover and a friend. My intense fear of being ‘outed’ has made writing this challenging (even though it’s anonymous) and I still struggle with conflicted feelings about the views of others. While I am proud of myself and of my work in the industry and while I feel I should be confident and proud of my decisions (free from guilt or shame), I’m not naive enough to think that my views are commonplace. The fabric of life is weaved from diversity and a variety of opinions and I guess, through keeping my work and identity private, I’m choosing the path of least resistance. Roughly three years ago, after a series of disappointing hook ups, relationships and an unfortunate assault, I found myself at the beginning of a long process finding my way back to feeling self-empowered. What I didn’t realise at the time was how important the role of the sex industry would become in dissolving my shame and empowering me on my journey back to sexual liberation. If only broader society could let go of tired ethics and saviour complexes to understand the healing that this industry can provide for many workers. In hindsight, I’ve always been intrigued by sex work. I liked the idea of being my own boss, operating outside of acceptable societal norms and it’s such a generous gift to be able to see people in their most raw and vulnerable states. Being open to accepting care is such a powerful thing and I’ve really come to understand how touch can heal in a way that sometimes words just can’t. At times, the industry has been my sisterhood, my refuge, my security blanket. It’s been a welcomed financial safety net and it’s seen me through some difficult times. I’ve learnt so much about my personal values and who I want to be because of the diversity

of women (and men) I’ve met through sex work. My child had just turned two when I started sex work and working in the industry allowed me to spend more time with them – to me, this is priceless. At other times though, it’s been totally mundane and even unpleasant, as all jobs have the capacity to be! Society seems to fall short when it comes to acknowledging that any industry can take its toll on your mental or physical health. A mixture of slow days, instability, secrecy and alibis, fear of being outed, bad bookings (no one is immune!) and clients who became just a little too regular or familiar account for the times that have had me questioning my employment decisions. Retrospectively, I’ve learned to make meaning of the unpleasant times. They’ve played a pivotal role in helping me to redefine my boundaries – an invaluable lesson that now enables me to honour my integrity outside of the industry too. I’m in awe of parents who choose to tell their children they’re sex workers for so many reasons; it will no doubt mean the next generation is better informed, compassionate and open minded. To model unwavering self-acceptance sets such a strong example to young people in an otherwise anxious world. On the flip-side I worry that my decisions could see my young child (who doesn’t shy away from sharing intimate family details for show-and-tell!) ostracised by his peer group because of their parent’s disapproval. Perhaps this will change when he’s older, but for now he’s busy grappling with reproduction and how it all works, and this is enough for now! I’m certainly not an anomaly working as a single mother in the industry. I’ve met so many incredibly resilient, strong women who have helped with parental advice and who I believe are better parents because of their experiences. For me, after each shift when I cradle my sleeping boy and think how grateful I am not to be worried about my next pay check, knowing I have the next day free to be immersed in his magical world, this is when my employment choice makes the most sense to me and I’m not about to let any tired, old ethics get in the way of that!



How did you come to enter the porn industry? It seemed to just come naturally. I'd had a quick stint in a strip club after working at a few parlours in Melbourne and was looking to explore erotica and film. I was already quite comfortable being naked in front of many people, and wanted to see if I could transition into porn comfortably. Safe to say it worked out well! What was your first shoot like, and how did it make you feel? The first scenes I shot were quite organic. They were solo's, and the concepts were pretty simple: get naked, touch myself, follow time cues from camera person about times to switch positions, freezing for photographs (for photo-sets), or grabbing lube or a pillow to get more comfortable. It felt so natural. Like the cameras weren't even there. I guess I was a little nervous beforehand, I wasn't sure whether my natural positions would come across well on camera, or if I’d even be able to come! Afterwards, I was tired. Emotionally and physically (I didn't stretch my body beforehand). I remember getting home and just flopping onto the couch to chat with my house mates and falling asleep mid conversation. I woke up the next morning in a blanket they’d wrapped me up in! Has being gender neutral had any influence over the type of shoots you’re drawn to? It did in the beginning. We are lucky in Australia that the industry is quite small and independent, with a few camera people shooting for different overseas companies. 8/10 of my shoots are girl/girl scenes, which usually means that the person I am shooting with presents as cisfemale, regardless of their real-life gender identity. I am drawn to these shoots more because they can be less scripted in what "activities" we need to engage in, and can feel more real-life. I choose to do minimal boy/ girl scenes (that is, cis-male and cis-female), but I have a feeling this

also has something to do with my physical presentation - my anatomy (breasts and labia) are naturally shaped which tends to be not what boy/girl companies are looking for. Particularly soft-core publications. These days I mostly pick scenes based purely on whether I want to be involved or not. If it is an idea that I can get behind and love and am excited for, then I’ll go for it, regardless of the gender of my costars or the gender representation in the scene. Has the porn industry taught you any valuable skills or lessons that have been helpful in life more broadly? Yes! I have learned much better boundaries and future planning. Hard to shoot today when you needed your medical check last week! Has the accessibility of platforms such as PornHub had any impact on performer’s incomes? Do you think these types of platforms have affected the industry, and if so, for better or worse? They definitely have. However many companies and performers are using it to their advantage. We can request content be removed and we can create profiles and use it as advertising. Although there is definitely a negative undertone there are options now. If it’s OK to ask, are there specific skills or sex acts within the porn industry that attract a higher financial premium? There is no industry standard in Australia on payment of acts or scenes. So pretty much anyone can charge whatever they want. It takes a bit of a common sense approach, more for anal, golden showers, double penetration, group sex acts... But essentially each company creates their own "standard" payment or payment protocols. People seem to have mixed opinions around including a plot line in a pornography scene? What are your thoughts and why? If you don't like it skip it. Some 57

shoots lean toward cinematic pornography and is filmed for its artistic quality (which I am so superduper into), but there are also plenty of clips provided by independent workers that have minimal to no plot-line. An overwhelming amount of mainstream and heterosexual pornography ends with a closeup cum-shot on a woman’s body, signifying “the end” of a sexual experience. Meanwhile, it’s previously been said that one of the trademarks of queer and feminist approaches to porn is a focus on the process and bodily discovery, not just the product or “end shot”. As a performer, do you have any thoughts on this, and what sort of message this could to people of all genders in the context of sexual exploration/expression? I have soooooo many thoughts on this. For quite some time, there has been a subtle porn counter-culture emerging and I think companies that fall into the "queer" and "feminist" category have jumped on this different way of expressing sexuality and sexual experience. Predominantly because a lot of the time queer sexual experiences are less about the "cum-shot" and more about pleasure. We know that coming doesn’t always mean the end of a sexual encounter! I am all for any companies, regardless of what "category" they see themselves in, challenging what they see as a "typical" scene. Exploring new ideas, thinking outside the square and ultimately creating something that we can understand as sexy and pleasurable OUTSIDE of a prescribed timeline. Imagine, "Hey, do you want to watch porn without a dick in it?” “Do you want to watch a sexy experience where a dick comes and it's not the main event or THE END? We've got that for you!". Inclusion and diversity in porn means more variety in what we see, with different types of people that aren't just cisindentifying ones. AND It means that more types scenes that can be shot, with different body types, gender identities (for us performers), which

YAY, we are all happy for work. Historically there has been a pressure for porn performers to assimilate to white Western beauty standards. With the rise of ethical pornography, do you think as a society we are starting step away from this? If so why or why not? It's not even white standards, it's accepted business standards or legal standards. I think we are starting to move away from it. I feel like there are always going to be workers who choose to alter their appearance, whether for business reasons or personal reasons but it’s important to acknowledge we are starting to see more body types, colours, shapes and sizes in porn. We need porn that shows all types of people. It sends a healthy message that all bodies are capable of desire and being desired. Diversity is also important with many younger people turning to porn as "education". They shouldn't feel ostracised for feeling a certain way and then not seeing it represented in porn. When you’re not working, do you watch porn as a consumer? If so, are you able to enjoy it or do you find yourself critiquing it through a work mindset? As long as I'm not in it, I usually watch it as through work eyes. I see the concepts and positions, lighting, artistic direction, costumes, performers and think, do I like it, how would I do it, is this a project I would have liked to be in etc. It's hard to not see it through work eyes! I'm pretty critical of the scenes I've been in. Not of the other performers but mostly of trivial things like my posture or facial expressions. What does a typical day in the life of your work look like? How do you keep yourself physically and mentally healthy on set? If I'm shooting, I try to get there as early as comfortably possible to meet crew and co-performers. Usually shoot several scenes in one day. It can be 6+ hours depending on what you are shooting and which company etc. It's just another day of work I guess! I just drink a lot of water and keep my body and mind comfortable.I take rests when I need, I make sure that I have had a restful sleep the night before, I eat a hearty meal the day before. It's mostly in the time before and after shooting that matter the most. Listening to your body is a big thing, as is communication, especially when shooting scenes with other people. Broader society likes to have an opinion around the negative influences pornography allegedly has on the way young people

learn about sex, or on the expectations that cismen have in the bedroom. Do you have any thoughts or opinions on this? Porn is just representative of societal views. They are changing, just slowly. Workers know that education is the problem. We know that there needs to be better resources for young people. And NO COMMENT ON EXPECTATIONS OF CISMEN. It’s just a whole thing I don't even want to get into. What is the most important advice you would want someone to know entering the porn industry? Be ready to have that discussion with those in your immediate and extended circles. I have the same opinion towards sex work in general. If you're worried about being "caught out" or keeping it a secret, don't do it. Navigating condom use can be a tricky one for workers in the industry, and pornography often chooses a natural aesthetic. With no judgement at all, what is your take on this difficult-to-navigate area? Again there are not industry standards on condom use, but we also get tested every 4-6 weeks (depending on the company). Each worker will have their own opinions and make their own choices on this topic. I think the attitudes towards barrier protection in general need to change, staying safe is sexy! If you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? HEY! It doesn't matter who you are, or how you identify, there is porn out there for you! What’s next for you? If people want to follow your work, where can they find you? I was looking to go international but unsure whether that will happen. I'm moving towards more erotica, sensual, artistic porn as this is where my interest lies. Imagine a sexy renaissance painting. If you want to see what I'm up to Twitter is the best, @avelvetsphynx. Instagram has been difficult to post things up, and my website was shut down around FOSTA/SESTA. 59


What’s your relationship to the sex industry? I’m a “full service” gay male escort – i.e. I offer sexual services to male clients, ranging from dates and kisses and cuddles to penetrative and oral sex. I’m also starting to branch into original content creation through OnlyFans. How did you first get involved? I lost my regular job quite suddenly right before Christmas. I went through six months of deep depression and anxiety as a result, and after 400+ job applications and almost 20 interviews, I was drowning in debt and rent arrears. I had a number of friends at the time who were sex workers and convinced me to try it. Initially, I told myself I’d “just do it two or three times, just to get out of the red financially” but I quickly realised how good the money was and how surprisingly easy the skill came to me, and before I knew it, I was effectively running my own full time business. And what does the identity of “sex worker” mean for you? Empowerment! It’s incredibly empowering if you invest in it properly: you get to choose your own hours, your own working conditions, who you do and don’t see, what you do and don’t do in a session, and even how much you charge to a certain extent. It’s the most empowered I’ve ever felt as a worker in any capacity. It’s also surprisingly a non-sexual job a lot of the time. Companionship is just as sought after, something many people outside of the industry don’t often understand. What’s your main incentive to keep working in the sex industry? The money is obviously fantastic, sometimes unbelievable during the “good times” But honestly, it’s the autonomy that keeps me coming back. The agency to say no to working if I don’t want to work or if I don’t get a good vibe from the person. It’s that work-life balance that I love and have struggled to find in other industries with the same remuneration.

In acknowledging the male sex industry is largely based online, have you been affected at all by FOSTA/ SESTA laws and if so, how? I’ve heard stories of online sites that used to be central hubs for sex workers and clients being shut down due to the punitive atmosphere FOSTA/SESTA has created. This has created employment barriers for sex workers which is very disheartening to learn. One of the times I can remember FOSTA/SESTA affecting me personally was when I travelled to the United States for a holiday recently. I’d heard horror stories of sex workers and porn performers having their visas flagged and being turned away by authorities at the US border because they’d intended to work over there. Although I had no intentions of working over there I was worried I’d be turned away simply because of my chosen employment In Australia. Even though I’d been reassured that there was only a tiny, miniscule chance of that happening, and there were no immediate giveaway signs that I was involved the sex industry I still found myself fretting and shaking like a leaf in line at customs. I didn’t even check my phone or let people know I’d arrived until after I’d been cleared, just in case I was turned around and sent back home. It was paranoia, but given the level of stigma this industry faces, not entirely unhealthy paranoia I’d say! The male sex work community is a small but growing market. Do you ever feel isolated in your work and if so, how have you managed this? I’ve definitely experienced isolation. There’s no “water cooler” for other male sex workers to gather around to swap stories, let off steam or share tips for difficult clients. There’s not even a union! I actually combated this by creating my own small support group called ‘Working Boys’, a mainly online-based chat group for other men who have sex with men (MSM) sex workers. Originally, it was just intended for my friends and I to feel more supported, but it’s slowly expanded and now serves as a small point of contact for other male-identifying Melbourne-based workers as well. This sounds so positive for the MSM community! Given the demand for heterosexual cis-male sex workers is still relatively low, are you aware of many workers adopting a gay for pay mentality, and how do you feel about this? I still get a lot of straight guy friends who watch movies like ‘Deuce Bigalow’ or shows like ‘Hung’ and think they can get attractive women to pay for sex with them, because they’re obviously just so irresistibly desirable. When I tell them that it’s extremely unlikely they’ll make a fraction of a good living doing this, I also tell them that going “gay for pay” is almost a necessity if they want to work in this industry, that’s just where the money is. I don’t necessarily mind it – everyone has their corner of the market. As long as you’re respectful of our culture, and you’re not actively stepping on or pushing out anyone in the community you’re so generously borrowing from, I don’t see the harm. Sex worker stereotypes (largely thanks to media and entertainment) encourage us to think of male

sex workers as tall, handsome, chiselled and wellendowed. In your opinion does this unrealistic archetype create barriers for men wanting to access the industry? It certainly almost did for me! The very first time I made an online profile I navigated to the website and bam, a huge, muscle-bound porn star gorilla with giant muscles, a huge cock and a tight butt was the very first image I was confronted with at the login screen. “What the hell am I doing”, I thought. “I can’t possibly compete with him! What do I have to offer next to that?” It almost scared me away from the industry completely and if I hadn’t persisted, I probably would have never entered it in the first place. Have these stereotypes had any impact on you, or your male peers currently working? I very quickly realised that the hot muscular Greek god look, or alpha male demeanour is incredibly off-putting and intimidating to a large number of potential clients. Guys like that definitely do very well in the industry of course, but a huge number of clients are just as timid and trepidacious as we were when we first started, and they just want someone “approachable” who they wouldn’t be scared of approaching in a real-life, regular social situation. The majority of my sex worker friends and I are “normal” builds, humble backgrounds, and friendly demeanours. That’s hugely comforting to clients as it turns out, especially those new to hiring people for sex. Toxic masculinity is currently a hot topic in broader society. Do you see these behaviours playing out in the male sex work arena and if so, how? Not in my personal experience, but interestingly, I do know one or two workers who identify and present as men in their real lives, but they put on a wig, a dress and heels and don a feminine “ladyboy” (their words) persona for sex work. I was surprised to learn that this particular corner of the industry was hugely popular among straight and married men who wanted to live out their fantasies of male-to-male sex, but with the security of a feminine persona to dissolve their homophobic fears. These workers told me sessions like this were usually over very quickly, and right after the client would finish, “they would get this look in their eyes; you don’t know if he’s about to run out the door in shame, or straight up kill you”. This made sense to me when I thought about it… it seems like the shame linked to homophobia and that post-orgasm realisation that you just got-off through having sex with a man could activate the fight-or-flight response in these clients. This is obviously a product of toxic masculinity and incredibly oppressive and outdated gender roles. What has your experience been like as a gay maleidentifying sex worker accessing health services? I’ve always believed that your doctor is one of the few people in your life you should never lie to and consequently, I’ve been lucky to find a GP and sexual health professionals who have experience working with people like me. One of my first visits with my current GP went exactly like this: “I need a Viagra prescription, please.”

“I’ve definitely experienced isolation. There’s no ‘water cooler’ for other male sex workers to gather around to swap stories, let off steam or share tips for difficult clients.” 63

“No worries. Can I ask what it’s for?” “I’m a sex worker.” “Oh sure, no worries.” And he signed off on the prescription right then and there! He’s also made a point to ask how work is going whenever I see him and making sure I’m keeping myself safe, and my mental health in check. I think perhaps gay men in general are a bit more open and deliberate when it comes to their sexual health. Sexual health services that specialise in gay men’s health usually have a separate question to acknowledge whether a person has been paid for sex before. That helps me in removing the stigma and feeling like I have a place at these services.

the sexy lady on the corner with the thigh-highs and red lippy. Men are also often left out of the conversation when it comes to sex worker events and advocacy, which tends to focus on “women’s safety” and “female empowerment” when it comes to choice in work. All these things are completely understandable – it is a female-dominated industry after all, and one of the few avenues in which women’s empowerment is acceptably at the forefront of the conversation. And you of course don’t want to be ‘that guy’ muscling in and saying “don’t forget men too!”, but it’s also important to remember that men are a part of the sex industry as well, and it would be great to have a space at the table for these dialogues.

There’s a particular stigma around HIV risk attached to men who have sex with men (MSM). Do you believe this stigma intensifies for MSM who are also sex workers and if so, have you felt the effects of this? I remember I spoke to a client who was very new to hiring men for sex, and he mentioned one of the reasons he was so hesitant to try it was because “aren’t they all full of diseases?”. I quickly (and through gritted teeth) explained to him that male sex workers, (and gay men in general), are very on top of their sexual health, more-so than the general population, and that if you’re picking someone whose profession is sex work, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. That said, if a client ever asks me “if I’m clean”, it’s very unlikely to lead to a booking. Sometimes it’s as simple as accidental outdated language requiring a quick educational update to explain why certain terms are hurtful and stigmatising. If it persists beyond that, I don’t have the energy to educate, nor the will to spend time with someone perpetuating HIV stigma, and they’ll be told to go elsewhere.

How can non-sex workers be better allies for male sex workers? It’s fine and it’s natural to have questions about our work. It’s certainly a unique industry, and maybe you don’t have that much exposure to sex workers (that you know of). And a lot of workers are happy to educate in an effort to reduce stigma and create better understanding. But don’t gawk at us. And don’t be so tactless as to ask us “who our creepiest client was” or if we ever “feared for our lives” – yeah, we’ve probably experienced those, but we likely don’t want to relive them just to give you a briefly entertaining anecdote! Just remember that at the end of the day, it’s a job, like any other job. And it can be just as boring and monotonous and taxing as your job in corporate quality assurance or operations management *shrug emoji*

Are there any challenges you’ve faced that are specific to male sex workers? I’m very lucky to be able to live openly gay and move in very progressive, sex-positive circles. That said, I’d say the biggest hurdle is feeling like there’s no “space” for men in this industry. There are no male-only brothels, sex work is still often stereotyped as a “woman’s game” with

If you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? DON’T VOTE LIBERAL AGAIN! Just kidding. I mean, I’m not, but … just don’t believe everything the media tells you, especially the outlets run by those desperate, dying, conservative fossils. We’re not deviants, we’re not “poor and broken”, we’re not in need of saving – we’re just doing a job best suited to us, same as you. We deserve your respect, your acknowledgment and your support. And even if we don’t get it, we’re still gonna keep doing what we’re doing anyway, so you might as well just make it easier for the both of us.


How do you choose to identify? I identify as a woman, but I suffer from gender dysphoria and hope to cure this condition via surgeries I am saving up for via sex work.

one of the main issues with transphobia in Australia is that the right-wing media is pumping out transphobic news every day and it's brainwashing men into hating us more and more. People need to campaign against these transphobic news sources and try and educate cis-men that trans women are real women and we are not a threat to them. We are feminine, nurturing, soft, delicate and harmless, just like other women. I think that if men knew what we were like and it became common knowledge in Australian society, they would be less likely to fear us or treat us like trash. Similarly, we need to try to eradicate whorephobia in society. I think a lot of whorephobia stems from the media, but less from news sources and more from movies and TV. The disposable sex worker trope literally gets us murdered and needs to go. Having said that, I love seeing representation of sex workers as beacons of light/hope/ kindness/femininity in a dark/hopeless/cruel/masculine world, and having been a street/brothel-based sex worker I always enjoy acting out the role of the "hooker with a heart of gold" for some of the sad, lonely and broken men that I see. Honestly, most sex workers I've met are "hookers with hearts of gold". I believe that once people start viewing sex workers as the hard working, sweet people that we are, we will be more likely to be accepted in society. As I always say, I’d rather "fuck people for money than fuck people over for money.”

How did you enter into the industry? I entered the industry when I was homeless and aging out of the foster care system, and also so I could save up to pay for transgender surgeries. What does the identity “sex worker” mean for you? “Sex worker” is a person (usually a woman/femme) who trades sex with men for resources. It’s womankind’s natural safety net, it exists in every culture, it’s one of the oldest professions and it’s a basic human right. Being a sex worker literally saved my life. Tell us about this piece of artwork? This artwork is a comic strip about men who treat sex workers like sh*t. How can people be better allies for transfemme sex workers? People can be better allies for transfemme sex workers by being allies for transfemmes in greater society. More men will be willing to sleep with us and less likely to murder us or treat us like shit if they respect trans women. I think 67


Ours is a youth-obsessed culture, one which has determined that ageing women are no longer sexually attractive. It’s a harsh judgement, it goes deep, so it can be hard not to judge ourselves unkindly when our looks change as we mature. As a sex worker, it might be difficult to maintain your confidence if you imagine that the majority of clients only want to see younger women. You might think it’s not worth doing sex work once you’re over 50. But there is a demand for older women. You will get clients, although perhaps fewer than the average 25-year-old. There’s little point trying to look younger or lying about your age; best to use your status as experienced and mature as a unique selling point. I took up sex work in my 50s (actually, I did lie about my age, putting it back a few years), and I was pleasantly surprised at how many young men wanted to see me; I found that plenty of young guys fantasise about sex with a mature woman, and on the whole they were appreciative of the experience. Initially I’d only wanted to see older men because I thought they’d be easier to deal with and less likely to cause trouble. I made a point of seeing clients with disabilities for much the same reason. That was how things seemed to me, at least, and in my four years of doing full-service escorting, the very few problematic clients I did encounter were younger men. (Younger than me, anyhow.) How many clients you attract depends on how vigorously

you market yourself. An older woman might be reluctant to intensely engage with social media and could fail to realise the importance of Twitter when building up a client base. If you’re starting out as an escort, get advice from other sex workers about how to promote yourself; simply advertising on Scarlet Blue mightn’t be enough to get your business off the ground. If you’re not getting enough clients, perhaps think about specialising in a niche service or expanding your repertoire to make yourself more competitive; consider training as a dominatrix, perhaps, and then doing something unique with that? I’ve never worked in a brothel. I can’t comment on what it’s like working for an agency, either, although there appeared to be a few out there specialising in mature escorts. Once I went along to a well-known Melbourne brothel, a ‘woman-run’ establishment, to ask about work. When I met the owner, she told me in no uncertain terms that I was too old, too fat and too grey-haired to work for her. “You’re no use to me,” she said. She went on to emphasise how hard it was going to be for me to do sex work, being too old, too fat, etc. Not encouraging feedback, but I was able to see the funny side of it. It made for a good story. It didn’t put me off doing sex work, although it did put me off working at a brothel. The experience served as a reminder to self to make sure I didn’t buy into any of her ageist perceptions. “It’s not all peaches and cream out there, you know,” this


woman informed me. Yes, I did know. I also knew I’d be happier being my own boss. There are some important things to consider health-wise if you’re an older woman doing full-service sex work. Once you go into menopause your vagina produces less of its own natural lubricant, plus your labia minora and the skin around your vagina may become thin and prone to tearing. Sex can become painful. Remember that lube is your best buddy. Lube, lube, lube! You need to take good care of your vulva health. Have regular check-ups along with your pap smears. Hormone Replacement Therapy is an option for dealing with burdensome menopausal symptoms. If you want to avoid HRT, then oestrogenbased vaginal pessaries can keep your vagina from becoming too dry to comfortably have full sex. You can always choose not to offer intercourse. More often than not, my older clients couldn’t achieve erections and didn’t want full sex; they were happy to spend an hour or so pleasuring me instead, which made things nice and easy. Older women can be susceptible to developing something called lichen sclerosus, a skin condition which causes intense itching, like thrush. Lichen sclerosis is a fairly common auto-immune syndrome which in rare cases can lead to cancer of the vulva. It can cause the labia minora and the skin around the vagina to deteriorate. Check in a mirror for any whitish lesions, spots, or changes in the skin around your vaginal area, and look for small tears in the labia minora. It’s important to treat lichen sclerosis with regular topical application of a mild steroid. The symptoms will clear up quickly, but you will need to keep applying the ointment until advised otherwise. If you’re peri- or menopausal, pay extra attention to your mental and emotional well-being. Hormonal changes can have a dramatic impact on your mood. Given how demanding sex work is at the best of times, it’s worth factoring in plenty of breaks and good selfcare routines when you need them, ideally before you find yourself becoming burnt-out, stressed and resentful of the amount of attention you give clients. I ran out of patience with time-wasters, to the point where I stopped answering my phone. Eventually I became so fed up with men in general that I lost interest in doing sex work altogether. How much of that was due to menopause is hard to say. Social isolation can be a problem when you’re a private worker, especially if you’re not ‘out’ to friends and family. Even if you are, you may still need to talk about your working life with those who know what it’s like. I didn’t know anyone else in the biz when I started working, plus I felt like I was the oldest sex worker in town. I probably was. I occasionally heard about other mature-age workers out there, but I only ever met one other woman around my age. I don’t know of anyone else who started out as late as I did. Do reach out to sex worker communities. I got friendly advice and good support from RhED when I approached them some years ago, and through them I connected with other sex workers. I’ve also used Red Files, an online Australia-wide resource with information on practically everything you need to know about doing sex work in Australia. As well, Red Files is an excellent platform to make contact with other sex workers. Networking makes all the difference when you need to share your stuff, whatever it may be. —­Good luck!


WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY NOW TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE STARTING OUT? A selection of responses from workers in the community

Save some cash! Plan for being ill, burn-out, thrush, a slow week… Don’t get into any relationships

Be more open. You might not know it yet, but this community has your back. You matter far more than the well-paid extra that will leave you feeling dead inside. Stay humble!

Trust your instinct

Hustle harder, you’re still young! Use more lube!

Don’t self medicate

It’s totally OK to orgasm during sex with a client Don’t waste your time on people who are clearly not going to stop judging you All of your future best mates will be hookers! Work out the tax thing early on - it’s going to save you a massive headache What you are doing is legitimate work You should let yourself feel proud of your hustle



Big Sister is watching you

violence against sex workers is A CRIME Report Ugly Mugs to RhED

1800 458 752


If you would like to read the full Ugly Mug reports please contact RhED on 1800 458 752 or email For confidential support or for further information please contact RhED 1800 458 752 or go to • Have you seen a nasty client? • Were they nice in the introduction only to turn nasty in the room? • Have you received numerous harassing phone calls from annoying clients? • Have you been sexually assaulted by a client? The information does not identify brothels, agencies or workers but is used to ALERT OTHER WORKERS so that they can be aware of potential safety issues. Would you like to receive Ugly Mug updates via SMS? Please contact Aoife at Rhed on 1800 458 752 or

UGLY MUGS PRIVATE WORKER Date Published: 19th July 2018

DESCRIPTION OF MUG: Mug referred to himself as ‘Steven’, and is perceived to be European, with a short, solid build. Mug is aged in his 60s, and has short dark brown hair. Mug was wearing a green shirt, and denim jeans. Mug was smoking marijuana and smelled of body odour. Mug was initially friendly but became aggressive during and after the incident. DATE & TIME: Thursday 14th July 2016 10:30pm. SERVICE LOCATION: Private residence in Eastern suburbs of Melbourne DESCRIPTION OF VEHICLE: New looking white Toyota Camry Registration *** 123 TYPE OF INCIDENT: Sexual Assault/Held Against Will/ Refusal to Pay. WHAT HAPPENED: Mug negotiated service with worker over phone. Worker arrived at private residence where mug took worker into a bedroom. Mug locked the door and coerced the worker to provide services that she had not agreed to without paying. This incident has been reported to police.

[Please note this is an entirely fictional report]


Telephoning RhED 1800 458 752 or go to and click on on to complete the online form or email


How did you come to enter the porn industry? My wife and some of my other partners have been sex workers and honestly I’ve found sex workers to be the most fun, caring, real people to hang out with. I’ve always been interested in porn but was insecure about being pretty enough, a lot of the trans women I’ve seen in porn were very fishy “cispassing”, but exploring polyamory really boosted my confidence. Then a friend of mine Daisy (@cutelazydaisy on Twitter) helped me set up a Twitter and referred me to Michelle Flynn from LightSouthern who was an actual angel to work for. Are you active in any other parts of the industry, and if not, how did you come to choose porn as your medium? I was camming for the short-lived all trans site TSCamFire run by Annabelle Lane, and have been thinking about getting back into that as well as considering dipping my toes into private escorting with a girlfriend of mine. In your opinion is there much stigma against, or lateral violence toward trans* women within the sex industry? If so, can you tell us a little about this? I have heard horror stories from other sex workers but I think I’ve come into the industry at a time where things do seem to be getting better for trans performers, even just language changing on mainstream websites to “trans” or “transgender” rather than slurs. It seems like Twitter and sites like OnlyFans and ManyVids are also allowing us to have a lot more control and agency over our content and how we make money, as well as allowing us to have a more intimate relationship with our viewers. Trans* women are an extremely fetishised genre within the porn industry. Can you tell about any thoughts or opinions you have regarding this? I think being in a polyamorous marriage and dating people of various genders both prepared me for being fetishised but also showed me that at least where I’m living in inner north Melbourne, publicly dating and being attracted to trans women carries less stigma than ever. I was receiving creepy fetishy DMs pretty much as soon as I was online as a trans woman. Initially it was exhausting, but my attitude has changed a little. Trans women are fetishised no matter what I do so I might as well work with it rather than against it. I also think sexuality has a lot more to do with the role you want to play than the aesthetics or identity of a partner. Gender is confusing and obviously some people are mostly attracted to “chicks with dicks”. I just hope I can make the

kind of work that helps make attraction to trans women less stigmatised and associated with shame, internalised transphobia and homophobia, and that being attracted to different genders and bodies is kind of not a big deal... I’m heaps pansexual though so being limited in your sexual attraction feels quite alienating to me. In your opinion is it OK for people to fetishise trans* women? When (if ever) could this overstep the mark into objectification, or the reinforcement of limiting/ harmful stereotypes of trans* women? I think we just need more visibility with different kinds of trans and non-binary performers, as well as having more trans and non-binary people behind the camera. I’ve found that working with directors and producers who are themselves former or current performers has also helped me feel like I’m not being objectified, because they understand the vulnerability. Recently working with Ella Ripley was a really special experience because being non binary and previously shooting mostly cis-lesbian porn, I found the way they approached me and filmed me was super sensitive and validating. I think it just helps to have someone who relates to things like gender dysphoria and trans identity just helps me feel seen and safe. In previous studies it’s been suggested that trans* porn performers have felt pressure to postpone any gender-affirming surgeries as it might take away from the ability to earn money in the porn industry. Do you have any comments on this? Personally I’m not sure if I ever want any surgeries, honestly porn, watching and performing it has been something that has helped me feel affirmed and validated that my body is desirable. I recently got “GIRL DICK” tattooed on my fingers and feel proud of being a dick girl, although I hope that more different kinds of trans bodies get seen in porn. From what I understand non binary and trans masc porn is far less prevalent but that that doesn’t necessarily represent a lack of desire or interest from viewers. In your opinion, is there any existing pressure for trans* woman to assimilate to western beauty standards of women, or to adhere to gendered sexual behaviours within the porn industry? Are you able to talk a little about this? In my opinion assimilating to western beauty standards and adhering to gendered sexual behaviours exists to some extent for all women in every aspect of life. I hope that more diversity in porn can help society at large become more comfortable with being and being attracted to people who don’t conform to these norms. Are there specific challenges within the porn industry that are unique to the lived experiences of trans* women? So far I’ve only had good experiences but I’ve also been very careful and selective about who I work with and for. I haven’t yet worked with a male director, but I am interested in seeing whether that feels different. For me the biggest concern is my safety, it helps that I’ve had amazing support from other trans sex workers as well as cis-women and non-binary people who have

helped me screen people, given me recommendations, and support that has probably helped me avoid a lot of the nasty and dangerous situations that other performers may have faced. Broader society likes to have an opinion around the negative influences pornography allegedly has on the way young people learn about sex, or on the expectations that cis-men have in the bedroom. Do you have any thoughts or opinions on this? The first trans women I saw were as a teenager in reality TV and in porn, over the years seeing the way we are portrayed in porn and other media helped me find the confidence to come out as who I am. I think like any media there’s the potential for it to influence audiences positively or negatively. I think having more gonzo porn, more progressive porn, non-male directors and producers helps viewers have more realistic views of sex, and some of the things I’ve had to unlearn about sex came from mainstream media and culture and sex education. Many young people, including myself can learn about what they like sexually from porn, the more we can remove the stigma of engaging in sex work. The thing I would like to see in porn as a girl who primarily has anal sex is lube being visible and used in films, it may be unsexy to some but for me watching porn it sometimes makes me cringe that the implication is that they aren’t cutting to lube up. Trans* women often face a disproportionate level of violence, poverty and employment discrimination. In your opinion does the sex industry support you to tackle these issues? If not, how can we do better? For me and other trans people in my life, sex work is the most lucrative and secure kind of work we can have. The reality is that lot of other kinds of work are difficult or even completely inaccessible for us, so protecting our rights and bodies, paying us more, employing us regularly, and being more public about working with us are just a few of things the industry could do support us. Talk to us. Ask us about our lives and what we need to feel comfortable. Be sensitive to the fact that we are one of the most marginalised groups in most societies and although this seems to be improving, sex work can be something that we feel is our best option. I love being a sex worker,

but some friends have done it out of necessity and had very negative experiences being disrespected and taken advantage of by cis management. Hire us in positions behind the camera. If you’re not sure about something ask, and if you make a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings apologise and listen and learn how to do better.

Do your research, talk to other workers, be open and give things a go, but make sure you’re comfortable asserting your boundaries. You’re sexy and you absolutely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Whatever you’re into, someone’s into it. Twitter can be a great place to learn and find support from fellow sex workers.

There is often a lot of discourse around the use/nonuse of condoms or safer sex materials within the porn industry. Would you like to comment/educate on this? I always get my fellow performers to wear condoms. Being safe is sexy.

And if anything, what would you want to say now to yourself back when you were first starting out? You’re sexy and you absolutely don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you had a microphone that could reach the whole of society right now, what would you want to say? Trans women are hot, grow up. Be proud of being attracted to us. Pay for your porn.

How can other sex workers be better allies for trans* women who are sex workers? Work with us, support us, follow us, ask questions, listen, be respectful. Most of the time I’ve found that sex workers, at least the ones I’ve worked with are far better at this than people in other industries. Sex workers are the best.

What’s next for you and how can people reach you if they’d like to collaborate? I’m on Twitter @RiverIvyRose and everything I’m up to is there. I’d love to work with all kinds of people interested in making ethical sexy fun content. Sashay into my DMs or email me:!

What is the most important advice you would want someone to know entering the porn industry? 77

FAREWELL FROM JESSIE It has been an absolute pleasure working at RhED for the past year and a bit. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work with and alongside some truly amazing sex workers, allies and passionate advocates for the sex industry. I have learnt so much and grown so much in my short time here. It has been a really rewarding role for me and I can honestly say that I will miss each one of you that I have met on my various adventures at RhED (events, workshops, brothel outreach and personal visits). I hope that there is positive news on the horizon for the sex industry in Victoria and we see many more wins! But for now, I will continue to advocate and fight for our rights, wherever life decides to take me.



Monday-Friday: 8:30am-5:00pm Saturday: Closed Sunday: Closed


580 Swanston Street, Carlton VIC 3053 1800 032 017

59 Rupert Street Collingwood 3066




代词指代:SHE/HER 没有真正融入任何地方,总是觉得有”其他”什么 的,无论我身处哪个社区。

我可以首先问一下你和性产业的关系吗? 我是一名多行业工作者。我仍然不知道如何准确 地解释我与这个行业的关系。这是最令人兴奋,拥 有权力和性解放的经历。我学到了很多认识我自 己和一般人的道理。虽然我感谢我所学到和经历 的一切,我目前正在休息中。让人倾听或重视我维 护的权利和想法,是令人心力透支的。

这听起来真的很难摸索。我可以问一下,在性行业 中,有关种族方面的挑战是否也曾经出现过? 我曾与其他亚洲客户打过交道。我的外表是亚洲 人,所以他们自然而然地认为自己有特权,可以讨 价还价或免费得到东西。抛开种族不谈,我的经验 是,所有客户都希望我成为一个安静、害羞、顺从 的典型亚洲女孩。我喜欢用我流利的英语震撼他 们!

根据现行法规,不幸的是,你所说的心力透支现象 在业内是很普遍的。很高兴现在你能听从你所需 要的。我们倒退一步看,你是怎么第一次入行的? 这与钱有关。我欠了一些非常昂贵和没有预料到 的兽医账单的债。一个朋友告诉我,她已经开始工 作挣额外的钱,并且特别善良让我尽可能问她经 历的问题。巧合的是,那天晚上她需要找人来替她 值班,我没有想太多,就说我会替她值班!我直接 过去完全什么都不知道或有什么预期的,没有回 头。回首往事,对我来说,那是一个疯狂的时光。

天哪,刻板印象是离谱的,也是有问题的。关于刻 板印象的问题,众所周知,更广泛的社会将性工作 与人口贩运的叙述混为一谈,而且往往在谈论海 外工作者的语境中。在认可你的亚洲特质的外表 下,这个谬见对你或你的工作有什么影响吗? 有的!!!在我讲话之前,每个人都认为我被从海外 贩卖过来,并由于我的外表而被迫从事性工作。当 我开口说话时,他们会感到困惑,认为我需要被“ 拯救”,因为我需要把钱寄回家,或者我反对自己 的国籍,因为有太多的竞争,亚裔性工作者都非常 普遍了??到处都有“救妓女队长”(注:captainsave-a-hoe指代自命不凡和虚伪的经常出入俱乐 部的男人,尽管消费舞者的服务,但总是试图“拯 救”他们),但我认为他们更倾向于把注意力放在 亚裔工作者身上。

哇,那么在最初的替人值班后,是什么影响你留在 这个行业做一段时间? 我一直工作了这么久,是因为我喜欢它给我的感 觉。我的工作人设是如此自信,坚强,有趣和坚决 的。我常常希望我白天的人设能更像她!钱也不 错,我喜欢有“女朋友”和行业内的社区感。它给了 我社交机会,在工作之前或下班后在非常奇怪的 时间和朋友小聚,说些客户坏话和一起花辛苦赚 来的钱,想着我们不必担心任何事情!

你认为从行业内外的人之间的盟友关系来看,什 么是有帮助的? 不要想当然地认为我们需要拯救,也不要让别人 认为我们需要救助。在确认你自己肯定错误的偏 见之前,先放一放你的假设,了解我们,听听我们 各自的故事。这份工作需要大量的同理心、自我意 识和适应力,所有出色的员工都应该以个人身份 受到赞扬。

拥有社区感是非常重要的。这有时对你来说会是 个障碍吗? 我被一些人称为”ABC”,也被称为澳大利亚出生 的中国人(虽然我不仅仅是中国人,我的种族也包 含了其他3个亚洲国家!)我不是在澳大利亚出生 的,但我年轻时和家人搬到这里。我的成长过程也 令我很困惑。我可以流利地讲三种语言,但我从来 81

LIZA 熟龄性工作者



我们的文化是一种痴迷于年轻人的文化,这种文化 决定了老龄妇女不再具有性的吸引力。这种评价很 苛刻,根深蒂固,所以当我们的容貌因成熟改变时, 很难不去不刻薄判断自己。作为一名性工作者,如果 想象大多数客户只想看到年轻女性,那么你可能很 难保持自信。你可能会认为,一旦你超过50岁,做性 工作就不值得了。但是对老年妇女市场还是有需求 的。你会得到客户,虽然可能比平均年龄25岁的少。 试图看起来更年轻或谎报你的年龄是没有意义的; 最好利用你丰富的经验和成熟状况作为一个独特的 卖点。

立客户群时可能没有意识到推特(Twitter)的重要 性。如果你刚开始陪客,从其他性工作者那里采纳建 议,如何推销自己;仅仅在猩红蓝(Scarlet Blue)上 做广告可能不足以让你的生意起步。 如果你没有得到足够的客源,也许考虑专注于利基 服务或扩大你的保留节目,使自己更具竞争力;考虑 培训自己成为女施虐,也许这样子,然后做一些独特 的事情? 我从没在妓院工作过。我也不能评论为中介工作的 感觉,尽管似乎有几个专门有熟龄陪客的那种。有一 次,我去了墨尔本一家著名的妓院,一家“女性经营” 的妓院,去询问工作。当我见到店主时,她毫不含糊 地告诉我,我太老了,太胖了,头发太白了,不能为她 工作。”你对我是没用的,”她说。她接着强调,我做性 工作有多难,太老了,太胖了等等。

我从50多岁的时候开始从事性工作(实际上,我确实 在谎报我的年龄,往回倒了几年),我惊喜地发现有 很多年轻人想见我;我发现很多年轻人幻想着与一 个成熟的女人发生性关系,总的来说,他们很感谢有 这种经历。起初,我只是想接年长的男人,因为我觉 得他们更容易打交道,也不太可能惹麻烦。我之所以 接有残障的客户,原因也大致相同。至少在我看来, 事情就是这样,在我四年全方位陪客服务中,我遇到 的很少有问题的客户是年轻人。 (不管怎么说,都比 我年轻)。

没有鼓励性的反馈,但我能够看到这件事有趣的一 面。它创造了一个好故事。这并没有让我推迟从事性 工作,尽管它确实打消了我在妓院工作的念头。 这次经历提醒了我自己,确保我不要接受她任何年 龄的观念。”你知道,不是一切都很美好的,”这个女 人告诉我。是的,我知道。我也知道,做自己的老板会 更快乐。

你吸引了多少客户,取决于你推销自己的力度。年长 的女性可能不愿意频繁用社交媒体进行互动,在建


如果你是做全方位服务的性工作的年长女性,有一 些重要的健康事情要考虑好。一旦你进入更年期, 你的阴道产生较少的自然润滑剂,再加上你的阴唇 小和阴道周围的皮肤可能会变得薄,容易撕裂。性 交会很疼。记住,润滑油是你最好的伙伴。 润滑油,润滑油,润滑油! 你需要照顾好你的外阴健康。定期做检查和子宫颈 涂片检查。可以选择激素替代疗法是处理负担性更 年期症状。如果你想避免激素替代疗法,那么基于 雌激素的阴道栓可以防止你的阴道变得太干燥以 至于无法舒适完成完整的性交。你总是可以选择不 提供性交。很多时候,我的老客户无法勃起,不希望 完整性交;而他们很乐意花一个小时左右取悦我。 这使得事情变得美好简单。 老年妇女可能容易患上一种叫做硬化性苔藓,一种 导致剧烈瘙痒的皮肤状况,如鹅口疮。硬化性苔藓 是一种相当常见的自身免疫综合征,在极少数情况 下可导致外阴癌。它可能导致阴唇小和阴道周围的 皮肤恶化。在镜子中检查阴道周围皮肤的任何白色 病变、斑点或变化,并寻找小阴唇中小的撕裂。重要 的是要定期局部外用一种温和性类固醇来治疗硬 化性苔藓。症状会很快消失,但你需要继续涂抹软 膏,直到另有医嘱。

如果你是围绝经期或更年期,要特别注意你的精神 和情感健康。 荷尔蒙的变化会对你的心情产生巨大的影响。鉴于 性工作在情况最好的时候要求是多么苛刻,当你需 要的时候,值得考虑大量的休息和培养良好的自我 护理习惯,最好是在你发现自己变得精疲力竭,给 予客户关注感到压力和不满之前进行。我对浪费时 间的人没有耐心了,以至于我停止接电话了。最终, 我对一般男人受够了,完全失去了兴趣做性工作。 有多少是由于更年期很难说...

当你是一个私人工作者时,社会孤立可能是一个问 题,特别是如果你没有和朋友和家人讲自己情况。 即便你有,你仍然需要和那些知道这种工作生活的 人谈谈你的工作生活。当我开始工作时,我不认识 其他的人,而且我感觉自己是城里最老的性工作 者。我可能是。我偶尔听到那里有其他熟龄工作者, 但我只见过一个我这个年龄的女人。我不知道还有 谁像我一样起步得很晚的。

要多与性工作者社区接触。几年前,当我找到他们时,我得到了维多利亚州性产业健康和教育资源 (RhED)的友好建议和良好的支持,通过他们,我与其他性工作者建立了联系。我还使用了红色档案(Red Files),这是一个全澳大利亚的在线资源,提供关于在澳大利亚从事性工作时几乎所有需要了解的所有信 息。同样,红色档案是与其他性工作者接触的绝佳平台。不管是什么内容,当你需要分享时候,交际网会起 到很大作用。祝你好运!





你是怎么从医学研究员迁移到高级女王和女调教 师的? 我以前在澳大利亚四处旅行,在一辆面包车上住了 18个月。当我回来时,我申请了墨尔本一家知名学 院的工作,并立刻拿下了这个职位。管理整个楼层 的十名员工,每天从早上7点到下午5点工作,同时 仍然住在面包车上,这让我惊慌失措!我觉得自己 没有准备好投入这样的工作,但不确定我的行业之 外还有什么其他工作可供我选择。当时我的伴侣开 玩笑地问我,”你为什么不成为一个女调教师呢?“ 我没有意识到他是在开玩笑,第二天他离开我们 的面包车去做他的全职印刷工作后,我打了在墨 尔本了两个不同的场所的电话,其中一个叫Fetish House。剩下的就成为历史了! 一个笑话,不小心变成了一个开创职业生涯的时 刻!你是如何决定你将在行业内关注哪些领域的? 我已经提供了十年的服务了,我提供的服务类型随 着时间的变化而变化。它主要鉴于几个领域:我当 时的经验水平影响了我的信心想要专攻什么,我在 地牢之外的生活方式,它对我的健康和身体状况的 影响,我在不同的时间点的恋人和我们这种关系的 界限。

在开始创业的日子里,你得到 导师指导了吗?你认为指导对 婴儿癖的性工作者至关重要 吗? 我在学徒期时候,还接受了一 位女王的指导,我觉得我和她 关系密切。我觉得,无论你提供 任何姿势需要准确性的服务, 实践是关键,多广泛接触是最 重要的。和不同的身体类型和 对不同刺激的反应,强调了接 触多种反应的重要性,以便能 够做出相应的调整。在一个机 构工作,当你不确定如何处理 的时候,有很多其他的同事提 供非常相似的服务帮忙,也确 实有助于了解这么多水平的知 识,并支持你。这里工作环境会 是高度紧张的。在那里有人以 任何可能的方式给你提供帮 助,对你身心健康很重要,所以

是的,我想说有导师指导对每 个人都有好处。 做一个以性怪癖这种性质的性 工作者听起来相当迷人和前卫 的,但是你的工作中有哪些平 凡的部分是一个非性工作者不 会想到的呢? 清洁、清洁和更多清洁。清洁时 间可能比见面本身长得多。 我可以想象!那安排预订本身 呢,是否有一定的入职要求,才 能成为一个性怪癖和恋物癖工 作者(如体能或力量) ? 事实上,身体素质和力量不在 Fetish House对我们的提供 服务者的期望之内。重要的是 有倾听的能力、遵循指示,清楚 地了解客户和自己的底线。鉴 于你正以各种亲密的方式与他 人交往,培养同理心、同情心,

对界限、倾听能力、同理心和 同情心的认知——这些听起来 像是健康的工作要求,任何行 业都可以从中受益。在这种环 境下工作对你的自我感觉、你 的身体或你的性取向有什么 影响吗? 毫无疑问,在这个行业工作影 响了我的个性。在从事这个行 业之前,我一直是双性恋和感 情开放,但我从来没有拥有奴 隶/下方/受方之前。在更高的 层次上与他人建立多情关系 是一种非常新的体验。我还发 现,在我的职业生涯中,我对 自己身体形象在不同时期感 到振奋和沮丧。例如,当同事 和/或客户称赞我的创作能力

或外貌时,我会感到振奋,但如 果我将自己与同事及其体能、体 格或多才多艺的个性进行比较, 我会感到沮丧。这也是一个挑战 (我相信很多工作者都有这样的 经历),当客户在与其他服务提 供者见面没有选择你时,你不能 太在意。

事实上,那一点可能具有挑战 性,而且不幸地是只是有时得到 保证。我可以问一下,在有挑战 性的轮班/预约后,你如何减压? 与我的同事进行讨论在几个方 面对我都很有帮助。 首先,我希望他们了解我的经 历,以便他们做好准备,防止遇 到类似的情况。如果我觉得以某 种方式跨越了我的底线,或者无 论我试图采取什么方式来纠正, 感觉到我的客户没有得到满足

他们的需求,在这些方面获得 支持也很重要。我从地牢回家 的长途车程也总是有助于我 减压。

客户中有什么常见的东西,你 希望他们停止做的吗? 我希望我的客户停止讨价还 价,谈判和拿”我失业了”或”我 是学生”侮辱我。我们是奢侈品 服务,不是必需品。但是,也许 对于一些客户来说,我们应该 得到医疗保险(Medicare)资 助,或者通过私人健康索偿, 我们在很多层面上来协助我 们的客户。

啊,在那方面,你希望更广泛的 社会对性怪癖和恋物癖工作有 更多的了解吗? 给别人施加痛苦的人不是精神 病患者或社会病患者。我们实 际上是一个同情者,帮助别人 所需要的,有时突破自己的界 限,帮助别人实现他们的幻想。 对于任何有意愿从事有偿性怪 癖和恋物癖工作领域的人来 说,你的三大建议是什么? 1.预期要处理大量人体体液。 2.时刻记住,你不必提供你觉 得不舒服的任何服务。可以说 不。 3.确保自己是自然而然地享 乐。如果不是的话,那么你入 错行了。 对于希望开始成为性怪癖的专 业人士来说,需要准备的基础 配备是什么? 我想”典型”的配备是:束缚装 备,体罚工具,服装,阳物和球 型装置和无菌清洁产品。 最后,如果你有一个麦克风, 可以现在让整个社会听到,你 想说什么? 你只活一次,为什么不好好把 握当下。



有时还有强大的胃,也是很重 要的。


单身年轻妈妈和性工作者 代词指代:SHE/HER

如果我不得不 用一个词来描述 我与性产业的关 系,这便是去衡量。 我总是一只脚进门, 一只脚出门。是的,我是 一名性工作者,但我也是 一个母亲,一个学者,一个 姊妹,一个女儿,一个情人和 朋友。 我强烈恐惧自己被”淘汰”,写这 个变得充满挑战性(尽管它是匿 名的),我仍然与他人看法的矛盾情 绪作斗争。虽然我为自己和我在这个 行业的工作感到骄傲,虽然我觉得我应 该为我的决定而自信和自豪——没有内 疚或羞愧——但我并没有天真地认为我的 观点是司空见惯的。生活的结构是由多样性 的和由各种观点编织而成,我想,通过保持我 的工作和身份的私密性,我选择了阻力最小的 道路。

大约三年前,在经历了一系列令人失望的与人相恋、 感情关系和遭受不幸的攻击之后,我发现自己处于一 个漫长过程的开始,找回了自我做主的感觉。我当时没有 意识到,性产业在消除我的耻辱和赋予我找回性解放的旅 途中发挥了多大的作用。如果更广泛的社会能够放开陈腐的 道德和救世主情结,了解这个行业可以为许多工作者提供治 愈就好了。

事后看来,我一直对性工作充满兴趣。我喜欢做自己的老板,在可接 受的社会规范范围之外工作,能够看到人们最原始和最脆弱的状态, 这是一份如此慷慨的礼物。敞开心扉接受关爱是一件很有力量的事情, 我真的开始明白触摸是如何治愈伤痛的,而有时候语言是无法治愈伤痛 的。

有时,这个行业使我拥有姐妹情谊,是我的避难所,我的安心毛毯。它是一个令 人欣然接受的金融安全网,让我度过了一些困难时期。我学到了很多关于我的


个人价值观, 以及我想成为 谁,通过性工作认 识的女性(和男性) 的多样性。当我开始 从事性工作时,我的孩 子刚满两岁,在这个行业 工作让我可以花更多的时 间和他们在一起——对我来 说,这个是无价的。 然而,在其他时候,这完全是平 凡的,甚至令人不快的,因为所有 的工作都会这样!社会似乎达不到 承认任何行业都会损害你的身心健 康。漫长的日子,不稳定性,保密性和不 在场证明,害怕被淘汰,糟糕的预约(没 有人可以幸免!)还有一些客户,变得有点 太常规或太熟悉了,以至于不时他们让我对 我的职业决定产生了怀疑。回顾了一下,我学 会了在不愉快的时候创造意义。他们在帮助我 重新定义自己的底线方面发挥了关键作用——这 是宝贵的一课,现在我也能在行业之外尊重我的诚 信。

我很敬畏那些因为很多原因而选择告诉孩子自己是性工 作者的父母;毫无疑问,这将意味着我们的下一代将更明 智、更富有同情心、思想更开放。在这个充满焦虑的世界里, 坚定不移的自我接纳为年轻人树立了一个强有力的榜样。另 一方面,我担心我的决定可能会让我的孩子(他从不羞于在“展 示与讲述”活动中分享自己私密的家庭信息!)因为他人父母的反 对而被他的同龄人排斥。也许当他年纪大了的时候,这种情况会改 变,但目前,他正忙着研究生殖繁衍及其工作原理,这目前就足够了!

作为一名单身母亲,我当然不是这个行业的异类。我遇到过很多有韧性, 坚强得令人难以置信的女性,她们给了我做父母的建议,我相信她们的经 历让她们成为了更好的父母。每次轮班后,对我来说, 当我抱着我睡着的小 男孩时,想想我是多么感激我不担心我的下一个工资支票,知道我明天不上 班,可以自由沉浸在他的神奇世界时,这是我认为自己职业选择最有道理的时 候,我不会让任何陈腐的旧道德的方式阻碍我的选择!



MELINAH VIKING 多才多能的网络情色镜头表演者和怪癖性伴侣 代词指代:SHE/HER

让我们从一个积极的或自豪的 时刻开始吧,如果有一个你想分 享的时刻? 我最自豪的时刻之一是,当一个 著名的制片人/导演选择我作为 他们的多部获奖短片的主题,这 部短片后来多次上映,并在国际 上获奖。

所以,我竟然和一个国际知名的 镜头表演者随便聊聊天!太神奇 了。你能告诉我一些关于你与性 产业的关系,这对你意味着什么 吗? 对我来说,性产业意味着多样 化,并强调了这样一个事实:每 个人都有适合自己的另一半!虽 然我进入这个行业的原因多年 来不断演变,但让我印象深刻的 是自我表达。这是一个机会,让 我成为我所感觉的人,而不是我 的外在所感知的我。以另一种方 式来体验自由,否则我会受到限 制。能够分享(以各种形式)那种

欣快感,当我日常生活中所有的 界限和扯淡的事儿都消失的时 候,我所体验到的那种欣快的感 觉真是太棒了! 我希望通过我的 工作,不仅能带来快乐,丰富人们 与自己和他人的关系,还能以一 种积极的方式倡导、教育和帮助 人们打破偏见。性和性快感是我 们所有人的基本人权——无论性 别、身体状况、种族、宗教、性取 向……可列下去是无限的!

说得太好了!令人沮丧的是,残 障人士的性生活仍然是有污名烙 印的。这是你个人遇到的问题吗? 是的,污名烙印是真的,几乎把我 吞没。就个人而言,我通过三种方 式体验了这些: 1. 围绕残疾人被视为有性人的 污名烙印。即使在2020年,有一 种态度还是很盛行,如果你有残 疾的话,要么你没有,要么不应该 有性冲动。通常,支持你的交际圈 中人认为,这不是你生活中足够 93

重要的部分,或者值得他们努力” 试一试风险”和/或有责任帮助满 足这些需求,或处理潜在的影响: 情感、身体或法律上的。还有一些 潜在客户,他们害怕性化或尝试 他们不理解的东西,或者从错误 的刻板印象中学到的东西。正如 我常说的;特殊性经历可能需要 更多的身体上的创造力,但话又 说回来,这是一半的乐趣对吧?! 毕竟:性应该是创造性的,无论残 疾与否... 这就是保持乐趣的要 素,并帮助你了解你喜欢什么/不 喜欢什么! 2. 围绕性工作一般的污名烙印 是-老说法”性工作不是真正的工 作”。上帝不赞成。这错了。这是一 种无技巧的、绝望下的赚钱手段。 我们需要被拯救。那个反复重复 的台词宣称,如果有人可以给我 们一个机会,一个选择的机会,我 们可以停止做这件可怕的事情? 尼玛胡扯!!拉客是最古老、最有 技巧的职业之一!

3. 围绕性工作者和残疾人相汇 点有着特别的污名烙印。残疾人 往往被认为无法就自己的身体 和性行为作出决定;因此无法选 择性工作作为一种职业,而且必 须有过被人利用或占便宜过。” 你需要被拯救”的反应被放大化 了。”谁让这样的事情发生在你 身上?即使在业内,我也经常从 其他过去和现在的专业人士那 里获得一种态度,尽管他们应该 更了解状况。其他人认为,如果 他们与我合作,他们肯定占了’可 怜的残疾人’的便宜--或者因为这 么做被人指指点点。因为我被认 为显然时没有能力同意的。也有 行业内专业人士,他们积极试图 劝阻我,虽然是以友好的方式, 感觉就像居高临下拍拍脑袋表 示什么意思一样:”哦,很高兴在 这里看到你!我不知道你真的会 来。“或者,”你知道你真的不必这 样做。你们都已经登记过了,现

在书上都有你的名字,但是如果 你不能来,我们会理解的。”这可 能会击垮信心,使得人更加难以 下次出现。能够摸索透这一切是 一个持续的过程,我总是在争取 我拥有个人选择权利的路上奋 斗。表达我性能力的权利,就和其 他人一样。我总是不得不明确地 说,我是一个合法且时间上完全 可以控制我的认知功能的成年 人。对于我的决策是没有任何障 碍的。这不是我每天都应该证明 的,但可悲的是,我需要做这个! 为了消除这种不必要的家长式 作风,甚至行业内隐蔽的横向暴 力,一定给你情感上带来负担。我 能问问你对生活其他方面的感受 吗,比如与家人、朋友、合作伙伴 或私人助理? 我与个人助理有过各种各样的 问题和他们感觉是否舒适,甚至 只是他们是否愿意协助。可悲的

是,一些支持机构不会接受你,或 者当他们发现你做什么时,他们 会把你丢下。关键是找到一个支 持机构,承认性工作是一份真正 意义上的工作,你可以信任与充 分披露个人情况的地方。这当然 是一个挑战,但是他们已经知道 了情况。当个人助理意识到他们 的雇佣机构是支持态度时,他们 便可以放心,他们没有做任何”错 误”的事情。例如,帮助我为客户 穿衣服,或送我到预约地点。显 然,总会有人不能逼自己去做他 们认为在道德有问题的或剥削性 的事情,不过没关系——他们可 以给别人工作。家庭、朋友和合作 伙伴就是那样——不会因为残疾 而改变。我遇到同样的问题,和其 他人一样。 赞成你说的家庭,朋友和合作伙 伴方面!所以,抛开挑战不谈,你 会说性工作在任何方面改善了你


我的残疾 才不是 渲染我 无性。 的生活吗? 哦,是的。它增强了我的信心,韧 性,使我成为一个更好的人!以 前,我更是一个被动和讨人喜欢 的人,即使是我不同意。这个行 业教会了我,我可以为自己,以 及为其他人辩护。我学会了在面 对拒绝被击倒时再次站起来的 勇气,即使有时我担心我不够强 壮。我做过一些事情,去过一些 地方——这是我年轻时从未想过 的。

能够听到你焕发的信心和韧性, 真是太棒了。认可这一点上,你有 什么建议给其他残疾人士,他们 可能在沟通他们的性需求和欲望 方面缺乏信心? 这是一件极其困难的事情。普通 大众有独立或通过朋友独立处理 这些事情的自主权。然而,如果你 生活有残疾之下,你往往不会有 那种奢侈。你可能需要帮助预约 陪客、预订交通或(有争议的是!) 你可能需要有人为你提供身体上

的支持,达到某种姿势才能进行 这些服务。你很可能需要和那些 不一定理解这些问题的人进行一 次不舒服的对话(或者可能是几 次)。他们可能会将自己的偏见、 信仰和价值观带入谈话中,评判 你,即使如此,他们可能无法帮助 你达到你想要的程度。可悲的是, 即使你的确是被认真对待了,这 取决于支持公司特定的政策,你 会得到多少的支持。一些残疾支 助机构基于信仰,或害怕公众的 意见,因此可能过于谨慎。你需要 厚脸皮来保护自己不被人评头论 足。在这方面坦然面对接受自己 是非常个人化的。所以,要找一个 你信任的人来为你辩护。 从这一点来看,你对有可能从事 性行业工作的残疾人士有什么建 议吗? 金科玉律:认真研究。决定你是否 是那种能在挑战中茁壮成长的 人;或者被你要接触到的消极情 绪受到不利影响。想想你可能留 95

下的数字足迹,以及它对你和你 所爱的人的影响。刚起步的人可 能会认为这就是魅惑力,但这是 工作!这不是工作的替代选择,通 常也不只是容易到手的钱!确保 它是你想要的,然后坚持下去!准 备好为争取被认真对待而奋斗, 并捍卫你在行业内的权利-有时 甚至你存在的权利!如果你是那 种喜欢挑战的人,你会发现它的 利大于弊。只要你不伤害任何人, 做你自己。是真实的你。

人们可以通过哪些方法成为多元 化能力性工作者更好的盟友? 花时间教育自己和他人。以开放 的心态进行研究学习。听听人们 的故事。对我来说,我的残疾并没 有让我变得不那么像一个人—— 我和其他人一样有同样的欲望和 需求。我的残疾并没有让我成为 无性人。它不会让我无法对自己 的生活做出决定。一旦你明白了 这个道理;试着帮助别人理解它。

THAI REENA ธุรกิจเพศพาณิชย์สำ�หรับผู้ย้ายถิ่นในต่างแดน


ออสเตรเลียหรอก แต่ฉันย้ายมากับครอบครัวตั้งแต่ฉันยังเด็ก ฉันรู้สึกสับสนมากตอน ที่เติบโตขึ้นมา เพราะฉันพูดได้สามภาษาอย่างคล่องแคล่ว มันทำ�ให้ฉันรู้สึกว่าฉันไม่ เคยเข้ากับที่ไหนได้เลย และรู้สึกเสมอว่าเป็น “ส่วนเกิน” ไม่ว่าฉันจะไปอยู่ที่ไหนก็ตาม

ขออนุญาตเร่ิมต้นด้วยคำ�ถามที่ว่า ความสัมพันธ์ของธุรกิจเพศพาณิชย์กับคุณใน ขณะนี้เป็นอย่างไรบ้างคะ? ฉันเคยทำ�งานในอาชีพอื่นๆมาก่อน แต่ฉันยังคงไม่รู้เลยว่าจะอธิบายความสัมพันธ์ ของฉันกับธุรกิจเพศพาณิชย์นี้อย่างถูกต้องได้อย่างไร มันเหมือนเป็นประสบการณ์ที่ ตื่นเต้น ทรงพลัง และเป็นการได้ปลดปล่อยออกทางเพศมากที่สุด ฉันได้เรียนรู้เกี่ยว กับตัวเอง และผู้อื่น ถึงแม้ว่าฉันจะรู้สึกขอบคุณในสิ่งต่าง ๆ ที่เกิดขึ้น แต่ขณะนี้ เป็น ช่วงที่ฉันกำ�ลังหยุดพัก เพราะที่ผ่านมา ฉันรู้สึกเหนื่อยใจ ที่จะต้องเป็นปากเสียง เพื่อ ปกป้องสิทธิ ความคิดเห็นของตัวเอง เพื่อให้คนอื่นได้รับรู้ หรือเห็นคุณค่าของฉัน

ฟังดูแล้วเป็นเรื่องที่ท้าทายมากที่จะหาทางของตัวเองเจอ คุณคิดว่าความท้าทายที่ เกี่ยวเรื่องเชื้อชาตินี้ มีบทบาทต่ออาชีพธุรกิจเพศพาณิชย์สำ�หรับผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ หรือเปล่า? ฉันเคยพบว่า ฉันมักจะมีปัญหากับลูกค้าคนอื่น ๆ ที่เป็นชาวเอเชีย เพราะหน้าตา ของฉันเป็นชาวเอเชีย ดังนั้น พวกเขาจึงคิดว่าพวกเขามีสิทธิ และสามารถต่อรอง หรือขอสิ่งต่าง ๆ ได้ฟรี และหากไม่พูดถึงเรื่องเชื้อชาติแล้ว ประสบการณ์ของฉันสอน ว่า ลูกค้าทุกคนคาดหวังว่าฉันจะเป็นคนเงียบ ๆ ขี้อาย ยอมทุกอย่างตามแบบฉบับ ทั่วไปของผู้หญิงชาวเอเชีย แต่ฉันชอบที่จะทำ�ให้พวกเขาตะลึงด้วยภาษาอังกฤษที่ คล่องแคล่วของฉัน!

เป็นที่น่าเสียดาย ที่ความรู้สึกเหนื่อยใจที่คุณพูดถึงนั้น มันเกิดขึ้นอยู่บ่อยครั้ง ภาย ใต้กฎระเบียบต่างๆที่เกิดขึ้นในปัจจุบัน จนกลายเป็นเรื่องปกติไปแล้วสำ�หรับธุรกิจ นี้ แต่ก็เป็นเรื่องที่ดีนะคะ ที่ตอนนี้คุณกำ�ลังรับฟัง ถึงสิ่งที่คุณเองต้องการ ขออนุญาต ถามย้อนกลับไปว่า คุณเริ่มเข้ามาทำ�งานธุรกิจนี้ได้อย่างไรคะ? มันเกี่ยวข้องกับเรื่องเงินคะ ฉันเป็นหนี้จากใบเรียกเก็บเงิน ซึ่งมีราคาแพง และเป็น สิ่งที่ฉันไม่ได้คาดคิดมากก่อน จนมาวันหนึ่ง เพื่อนคนนึงเล่าให้ฉันฟังว่า เธอได้ เริ่มหาเงินเสริมรายได้ ด้วยความที่ฉันอยากรู้ ฉันจึงได้สอบถาม และถามคำ�ถาม มากมายเกี่ยวกับประสบการณ์ต่างๆ ซึ่งเพื่อนฉันก็ใจดีให้คำ�ตอบนั้น ๆ กับฉัน แล้วก็ เป็นเรื่องบังเอิญที่ว่า เย็นวันนั้น เพื่อนของฉันจำ�เป็นต้องหาใครสักคนมาทำ�งานแทน เธอ เมื่อฉันได้ยิน ฉันก็ไม่คิดอะไรมาก แค่บอกเพื่อนไปว่าฉันจะไปแทนเธอเอง จาก นั้นฉันก็โผล่ไปหาลูกค้าโดยที่ไม่ได้คิดอะไรในหัวแม้แต่นิดเดียว หรือแม้แต่จะรู้ว่าต้อง ทำ�อะไรบ้าง จากวันนั้นถึงวันนี้ ฉันก็ไม่หันกลับมามองอีก แต่พอมาย้อนนึกดู ช่าง เป็นเวลาที่บ้าคลั่งสำ�หรับฉันเหมือนกัน

โอ้ว ความคิด และการชอบตัดสินคนจากภายนอกนั้นถือเป็นเรื่องที่ผิดและเป็น ปัญหาจริงๆ ต่อจากหัวข้อเรื่องการตัดสินคนจากภายนอก นับเป็นที่รู้กันว่า สังคมใน วงกว้างนั้น สร้างความสับสนให้กับอาชีพงานบริการทางเพศว่า มีส่วนเกี่ยวข้องกับ การค้ามนุษย์ผิดกฎหมาย และมักจะถูกโยงไปถึงแรงงานผู้ย้ายถิ่นฐานที่มาจากต่าง แดน สำ�หรับการที่หน้าตาของคุณบ่งบอกว่า เป็นคนเชื้อสายชาวเอเชียนั้น ส่งผลกระ ทบต่องานของคุณหรือเปล่า? มีสิคะ!!! ให้ทุกคนเดา (ก่อนฉันจะพูด) คนมักคิดว่า ฉันเป็นหญิงถูกหลอกให้มา ค้ามนุษย์ มาจากต่างประเทศ และถูกบังคับให้ทำ�งานบริการทางเพศเพราะรูปร่าง หน้าตาของฉัน แต่เมื่อฉันปริปาก พวกเขาจึงเกิดความสับสน และคาดเดาเอาเองว่า ฉันจำ�เป็นต้องได้รับการ “ช่วยเหลือ” และคิดว่าฉันคงกำ�ลังส่งเงินกลับไปให้ครอบครัว ที่ต่างประเทศ หรือฉันต้องมาอยู่ที่ออสเตรเลียเพราะประเทศที่ย้ายมานั้น มีการ แข่งขันมากเกินไปจากจำ�นวนผู้ให้บริการทางเพศที่เป็นชาวเอเชียด้วยกัน คนพวกนี้ เป็นประเภทที่ชอบคิดเอาเองว่า ตัวเองนั้นคือ ‘อัศวินขี่ม้าขาว มาช่วยผู้หญิงที่อ่อนแอ ที่มีอยู่ทุกที่’ แต่ฉันคิดว่าผู้ชายพวกนี้คือ คนที่จะมุ่งความสนใจเฉพาะผู้ให้บริการที่ เป็นชาวเอเชียมากกว่า

ว้าว! หลังจากที่คุณไปทำ�งานแทนเพื่อนในครั้งแรกนั้น อะไรที่มีอิทธิพลทำ�ให้คุณ อยากทำ�งานต่อในธุรกิจนี้? ฉันก็แค่ทำ�งานไปเรื่อยๆ เป็นเวลานาน เพราะฉันรักในความรู้สึกที่งานนี้มีให้ฉัน หน้า ฉากของตัวละครการทำ�งานของฉัน เป็นคนที่มีความมั่นใจ เข้มแข็ง รักสนุก และมุ่ง มั่น ฉันมักจะหวังให้ตัวเองในเวลากลางวันเป็นเหมือนตัวละครนี้ เพราะเงินที่หาได้ ก็ไม่เลวเลย และฉันก็รัก เพื่อนสาวที่ฉันทำ�งานด้วย มันทำ�ให้ฉันรู้สึกถึงการได้เป็น ส่วนหนึ่งกับที่ทำ�งาน และเป็นโอกาสที่ทำ�ให้ฉันมีสังคมที่ทำ�อาชีพเดียวกัน ได้พูดคุย กับเพื่อน ๆ ก่อนหรือหลังชั่วโมงการทำ�งาน ซึ่งเวลาการทำ�งานที่ค่อนข้างแปลก ไม่ เหมือนใคร รวมถึงการได้พูดนินทาลูกค้า และการใช้เงินที่หามายากด้วยกัน โดยที่เรา ไม่มีต้องกังวลอะไรเลย!

ฟังดูแล้ว เหมือนเป็นการดูถูกผู้หญิงชาวเอเชีย ฉะนั้นคุณคิดว่า อะไรที่น่าจะเป็น ประโยชน์ ที่จะบอกคนเหล่านั้น ไม่ว่าคนที่อยู่ภายใน หรือภายนอกธุรกิจเพศ พาณิชย์? อย่าคาดเดาเอาเองว่า เราจำ�เป็นต้องได้รับการช่วยชีวิต และหยุดคาดเดาเอาเองว่า เราต้องได้รับการช่วยชีวิตด้วย หยุดการตั้งสมมุติฐานของคุณ และมาทำ�ความรู้จัก กับเรา ฟังเรื่องราวของเราในแต่ละคน ก่อนที่คาดเดาเอาเองซึ่งเป็นข้อมูลที่ผิด และ ไม่ถูกต้อง อาชีพของเราต้องการความเห็นใจ-เข้าใจ การยอมรับ และความอดทน ดัง นั้นจึงควรชื่นชม ผู้ที่ทำ�งานบริการทางเพศ ในแต่ละบุคคลไป

ความรู้สึกการได้เป็นส่วนหนึ่งของชุมชนถือเป็นสิ่งสำ�คัญ ซึ่งเป็นอุปสรรคสำ�หรับคุณ บ้างไหม? ฉันเป็นคนจีนที่เกิดในออสเตรเลีย บางคนอาจเรียกว่า “ABC” (Australian Born Chinese) (จริง ๆ แล้วฉันมีเชื้อสาย ชาติอื่นๆผสมมากกว่าจีนนะ เพราะฉันมีเป็น ลูกครึ่ง มีเชื้อสาย 3 ประเทศในทวีปเอเชียรวมกัน!) จริงๆแล้ว ฉันไม่ได้เกิดใน 97

LIZA หรือผู้ให้บริการทางเพศที่สูงวัย SHE/HER



เรามีค่านิยม ความเชื่อ ให้หมกมุ่นอยู่กับความต้องการที่จะคง รูปร่าง หน้าตาให้ อ่อนเยาว์อยู่เสมอ และความเชื่อนี้เอง เป็นสิ่งที่คอยกำ�หนดว่า ผู้หญิงที่มีอายุมาก ขึ้นจะไม่น่าดึงดูดทางเพศอีกต่อไป ถือเป็นการตัดสินที่โหดร้าย และฝังลึกในจิตใจ ของผู้หญิงหลายๆคน ดังนั้น ไม่ใช่เรื่องง่ายเลยที่จะฟันธงว่า เราจะไม่มีทางตัดสิน ตัวเราเอง เมื่อรูปร่างหน้าตาของเราเปลี่ยนไปตามอายุที่มากขึ้น และในฐานะอาชีพ ผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ มันอาจยากที่จะรักษาความมั่นใจในตัวเองตลอดเวลา เมื่อ คุณมีความคิดไปแล้วว่า ลูกค้าทุกคนคงมีความต้องการแค่ผู้หญิงสาวๆ เยาว์วัย เท่านั้น ดั้งนั้นหลายผู้ให้บริการทางเพศหลายๆคนจึงคิดว่า มันคงไม่คุ้มค่าหรอก ที่ จะทำ�งานอาชีพนี้หลังจากที่คุณมีอายุเกิน 50 ปี ไปแล้ว แต่ในความเป็นจริงนั้น ผู้ให้ บริการทางเพศที่สูงวัย ยังคงเป็นที่ต้องการทางตลาด ถึงแม้ว่าจำ�นวนลูกค้า อาจจะ มีจำ�นวนน้อยกว่าเพื่อนร่วมงานที่มีอายุเฉลี่ย 25 ปี แต่หากคุณต้องการให้ลูกค้าคุณ เชื่อว่าคุณอายุน้อย คุณก็สามารถทำ�ตัวเองให้ดูสาวขึ้น หรือโกหกเรื่องอายุ แต่ทราบ หรือไม่ว่า สิ่งสำ�คัญ และดีที่สุดก็คือ การใช้สถานะของผู้สูงวัย และประสบการณ์ที่ ผ่านมาเป็นจุดขายที่ไม่เหมือนใครจะดีกว่า

ล้มเหลวที่จะเข้าใจความสำ�คัญของ ทวิตเตอร์ (Twitter) เมื่อเธอต้องสร้างฐานลูกค้า หากคุณเริ่มต้นด้วยการเป็นเอสคอร์ต ไปขอคำ�แนะนำ�จากผู้ให้บริการทางเพศคน อื่นๆเกี่ยวกับวิธีการส่งเสริมการขายให้กับตัวเอง บางครั้ง การลงโฆษณาง่าย ๆ บน Scarlet Blue อาจไม่เพียงพอที่สำ�หรับการทำ�ธุรกิจของคุณ หากคุณไม่ได้จำ�นวน ลูกค้าที่เพียงพอ บางทีคุณอาจต้องนึกถึงความเชี่ยวชาญที่จะให้บริการแก่กลุ่ม ลูกค้าเฉพาะ หรือขยายบทบาทของคุณให้คุณมีความแข่งขันได้มากขึ้น พิจารณา ทางเลือกไปฝีกอบรมเป็น dominatrix ที่เล่นบทเป็นผู้หญิงจอมบงการ หรือบางที อาจทำ�อะไรบางอย่างที่พิเศษไม่เหมือนใครก็ได้ ฉันไม่เคยทำ�งานในสถานให้บริการทางเพศ ฉันจึงไม่สามารถออกความเห็นเกี่ยว กับสภาพการทำ�งานให้กับเอเจนซีว่าเป็นอย่างไร ถึงแม้ว่าจะมีเอเจนซีข้างนอก บางแห่งที่มีบริการพิเศษ โดยเอสคอร์ตสูงวัย มีครั้งหนึ่ง ฉันไปสมัครงานที่สถานให้ บริการทางเพศที่มีชื่อแห่งหนึ่งของเมลเบิร์น ซึ่งเป็นสถานบริการที่ ‘ดำ�เนินการโดยผู้ หญิง’ เพื่อของานทำ� แต่เมื่อฉันได้พบกับเจ้าของกิจการ เธอบอกฉันโดยใช้คำ�เลี่ยง ๆ ประมาณว่า ฉันแก่เกินไป อ้วนเกินไป มีผมขาวมากเกินไป ที่จะทำ�งานที่นี่ได้ เธอแค่ บอกว่า “ฉันไม่มีประโยชน์สำ�หรับที่นี่เลย” ซึ่งมันยากนะ สำ�หรับฉันที่จะทำ�งานให้ บริการแบบนี้ เพราะฉันแก่ไป อ้วนไป เป็นต้น ไม่ใช่คำ�ติชมที่ให้กำ�ลังใจฉันได้เลย แต่ ฉันก็มองให้เป็นเรื่องตลก ซึ่งก็กลายเป็นเรื่องดี ๆ ที่ฉันนำ�ไปเล่าต่อได้ เหตุการณ์นี้ไม่ ทำ�ให้ฉันย่อท้อต่องานให้บริการทางเพศเลย แต่มันกลับทำ�ให้ฉันไม่อยากไปทำ�งาน ในสถานให้บริการทางเพศต่างหาก ประสบการณ์ครั้งนี้เป็นเครื่องเตือนความจำ�ให้ กับตัวฉันเอง เพื่อให้แน่ใจว่า ฉันไม่ได้ยอมรับคำ�พูด ที่เจ้าของกิจการปฎิเสธฉันวัน นั้น เกี่ยวกับอายุ และเธอยังพูดกับฉันอีกว่า “ข้างนอกไม่ได้โรยไปด้วยกลีบกุหลาบ เสมอไปนะ เธอรู้ไหม” ใช่ ฉันรู้ดี และฉันก็รู้ดีว่า ฉันจะมีความสุขมากกว่า ถ้าได้เป็น นายของตัวเอง

ฉันเริ่มทำ�งานเป็นผู้ให้บริการทางเพศตอนฉันอายุเข้าสู่วัย 50 (จริง ๆ แล้ว ฉันโกหก เรื่องอายุ ฉันโกงอายุน้อยกว่าความเป็นจริงหลายปี) และแล้วฉันก็ต้องประหลาดใจ ที่ได้เจอกับชายหนุ่มจำ�นวนมากที่ต้องการจะมาหาฉัน ฉันค้นพบว่า มีหนุ่มน้อยห ลายคนที่มีความเพ้อฝัน หรือแฟนตาซี ที่อยากมีเซ็กซ์กับผู้หญิงสูงวัย โดยรวม ๆ พวกเขาชื่นชอบประสบการณ์แบบนี้ ในตอนเริ่มทำ�งานแรกๆ ฉันคิดเพียงว่า แค่ ต้องการรับแขกที่มีอายุมาก หรือมากกว่าฉัน เพราะคิดว่า ฉันจะดูแลพวกเขาได้ง่าย กว่า และมีแนวโน้มที่จะก่อปัญหาน้อยกว่า นอกจากนั้น ฉันยังคิดว่าคงจะรับแขกที่ พิการ เนื่องด้วยเหตุผลเดียวกัน ซึ่งนั้นคือสิ่งที่ฉันคาดคิดไว้ แต่ในสี่ปีที่ฉันทำ�งานให้ บริการเป็นเอสคอร์ต หรือการให้บริการทางเพศแบบเต็มรูปแบบ ฉันเจอกรณี ลูกค้า ที่มีปัญหาเพียงไม่กี่คนเท่านั้น และส่วนใหญ่ที่ฉันเจอก็คือ ผู้ชายอายุน้อย (อายุน้อย กว่าฉันก็แล้วกัน)

หากคุณเป็นผู้หญิงสูงวัยที่จะมาทำ�งานให้บริการทางเพศแบบเต็มรูปแบบมีสิ่ง สำ�คัญที่ควรคำ�นึง คือเรื่องสุขภาพ หลังจากที่คุณถึงวัยหมดประจำ�เดือนแล้ว อวัยวะ เพศของคุณจะผลิตน้ำ�หล่อลื่นธรรมชาติได้น้อยลง อีกทั้งกล้ามเนื้อแคมใน และ กล้ามเนื้อบริเวณรอบอวัยวะเพศของคุณ อาจบางลงและมีแนวโน้มฉีกขาดได้ง่าย

จำ�นวนลูกค้าที่คุณจะดึงดูดความสนใจมาได้นั้น ขึ้นกับว่าคุณทำ�การตลาดเพื่อการ ขายบริการได้จริงจังแค่ไหน ผู้หญิงสูงวัยคนหนึ่งอาจลังเลที่จะใช้สื่อโซเชียล และอาจ


การมีเพศสัมพันธ์อาจสร้างความเจ็บปวดได้ ดังนั้น อย่าลืมว่าสารหล่อลื่นเป็นเพื่อนที่ดีของคุณ และจำ�เป็นต้องใช้สารหล่อลื่นทุกครั้ง อย่าลืมนะคะ! อีกเรื่องหนึ่งที่สำ�คัญ คุณต้องดูแลสุขภาพของช่องคลอดให้ดี หมั่นตรวจเช็คอย่างสม่ำ�เสมอ พร้อมตรวจคัดกรองมะเร็งปากมดลูกที่เรียกว่า pap smear (แพพส เมียร์) ส่วนการบำ�บัดด้วยการทดแทน หรือการเพิ่มฮอร์โมน (Hormone Replacement Therapy - HRT) ก็เป็นทางเลือกหนึ่งในการรับมือกับภาวะจากวัยหมดประจำ� เดือน แต่ถ้าหากคุณต้องการจะหลีกเลี่ยงการทำ� HRT ยังคงมีอีกวิธีหนึ่งคือ การใช้ หลอดสอดช่องคลอด ซึ่งหลอดนี้จะให้ฮอร์โมเอสโตรเจน ซึ่งช่วยในการหลีกเลี่ยง ปัญหาภาวะช่องคลอดที่แห้งเกินไป จนไม่สามารถมีเพศสัมพันธ์ได้ หรือคุณยัง สามารถเลือกที่จะมีเพศสัมพันธ์โดยไม่สอดใส่ เพราะลูกค้าที่มีอายุของฉัน อวัยวะ เพศของเค้านั้นไม่สามารถแข็งตัว และเขาเลือกที่ไม่ต้องการร่วมเพศแบบสอดใส่ โดยลูกค้ากลับมีความสุขที่จะใช้เวลา 1 ชั่วโมง หรือมากกว่านั้น มาทำ�ให้ฉันพอใจ แทน ซึ่งทำ�ให้เป็นเรื่องดีและง่ายสำ�หรับตัวฉันเอง ผู้หญิงที่มีอายุมาก สามารถไวต่อการพัฒนาภาวะ หรือโรคบางอย่างที่เรียกว่า โรค ผิวหนังอักเสบชนิดแห้งฝ่อ (lichen sclerosis) ซึ่งเป็นโรคทางผิวหนัง ทำ�ให้เกิด อาการคันเหมือนเชื้อราในช่องคลอด โรคผิวหนังอักเสบชนิดแห่งฝ่อนี้ เป็นความผิด ปกติของระบบภูมิคุ้มกันที่บกพร่อง พบได้บ่อย ซึ่งในบางกรณี อาจเพื่มความเสี่ยง ที่จะนำ�ไปสู่โรคมะเร็งช่องคลอดได้ด้วย โรคนี้สามารถทำ�ให้แคมในและผิวหนังรอบ ๆ ช่องคลอดเสื่อมได้ คุณสามารถตรวจดูได้ด้วยตัวเอง โดยใช้กระจกส่อง เพื่อดูว่า มีแผลออกสีขาว จุด หรือสีผิวที่เปลี่ยนไปบริเวณรอบๆ ช่องคลอดหรือไม่ และมอง หารอยฉีกขาดเล็ก ๆ บริเวณแคมใน หากมีอาการจึงควรไปพบแพทย์เพื่อได้รับการ รักษา สำ�หรับวิธีการรักษา โรคผิวหนังอักเสบชนิดแห่งฝ่อ คือการทายาเฉพาะที่ โดยยาสเตียรอยด์อ่อน ๆ เป็นประจำ� อาการจะหายไปอย่างรวดเร็ว แต่คุณจะต้อง ใช้ครีมต่อไปตามคำ�แนะนำ�แพทย์ไปจนหาย หากคุณอยู่ในวัยใกล้หมด หรือหมดประจำ�เดือนไปแล้ว ควรให้ความสนใจกับ สุขภาพจิต และอารมณ์ของคุณเป็นพิเศษด้วย เพราะการเปลี่ยนแปลงของฮอร์โมน สามารถส่งผลกระทบต่ออารมณ์ของคุณได้อย่างมาก งานให้บริการทางเพศถือ เป็นงานที่หนัก เป็นงานที่มีการเรียกร้องสูงอยู่ตลอดเวลา จึงเป็นเรื่องที่จำ�เป็น และ คุ้มค่ากับตัวคุณเอง ในการหาเวลาพักให้เพียงพอ และมีกิจวัตรเพื่อดูแลตนเอง อย่างดีเมื่อคุณต้องการ ทางที่ดี ควรดูแลตัวเองก่อนที่คุณจะรู้สึกหมดไฟ เครียด และหงุดหงิดที่จะให้ความสนใจให้กับลูกค้า ฉันหมดความอดทนง่าย ๆ กับคนที่มา ทำ�ให้คุณเสียเวลา และเลยมาจนถึงจุดที่คุณอาจหยุดรับโทรศัพท์ไปเลยก็ได้ และ ในที่สุด คุณก็หมดความอดทนกับผู้ชายทั่วไป จนไม่มีอารมณ์ทางเพศกับงานให้ บริการไปเลย อาการแบบนี้ ล้วนแล้วแต่เกิดจากภาวะหมดประจำ�เดือน ซึ่งบางคน จะมีอาการมากน้อยแค่ไหน ก็คงไม่สามารถตอบได้ … ปัญหาความรู้สึกโดดเดี่ยวทางสังคม เป็นอีกปัญหาหนึ่งที่พบได้ ในกรณีที่คุณเป็น ผู้ให้บริการที่ทำ�งานส่วนตัวแบบไม่มีสังกัด โดยเฉพาะหากคุณยังไม่ ‘เปิดเผย’ เรื่อง นี้กับเพื่อน คนใกล้ชิด หรือครอบครัว ถึงแม้ว่า คุณได้บอกพวกเขาไปแล้ว แต่คุณก็ อาจยังรู้สึกว่า คุณจะสามารถพูดถึงเรื่องราวชีวิตการทำ�งานได้กับแค่คนที่รู้และเข้า ใจจริงๆ ได้เท่านั้น ตอนที่ฉันเริ่มงานแรกๆ ฉันไม่รู้จักใครเลยในธุรกิจนี้ และที่ยิ่งไป กว่านั้นคือ ฉันรู้สึกว่า ฉันคงเป็นผู้ให้บริการทางเพศที่มีอายุมากที่สุดในเมือง ฉัน เคยได้ยินมาว่า มีผู้ให้บริการที่เป็นผู้สูงวัยทำ�งานอยู่เหมือนกัน และฉันก็เคยเจอผู้ หญิงที่มีอายุรุ่นราวคราวเดียวกับฉัน แต่แค่คนเดียวเท่านั้น ฉันไม่รู้เลยว่า มีใครข้าง นอกบ้าง ที่เริ่มทำ�งานงานนี้เมื่ออายุมากเหมือนกับฉัน ทางออกที่ฉันเลือก คือ การออกไปเข้าร่วมชุมชน และเจอสังคมของผู้ให้บริการทางเพศด้วยกัน RhED ทำ�ให้ฉันได้รับมิตรภาพ ความช่วยเหลือ คำ�แนะนำ� และการ สนับสนุนดี ๆ ตอนที่ฉันเข้ามาที่ RhED เมื่อหลายปีก่อน ทำ�ให้ฉันได้ติดต่อกับเพื่อนร่วมอาชีพคนอื่นๆ ผ่านพวกเขา ฉันใช้เว็บไซต์ Red Files ซึ่งเป็นแหล่งความรู้ทาง ออนไลน์ทั่วออสเตรเลียที่ให้ข้อมูลที่เอาไปใช้งานได้แทบทุกเรื่อง ที่คุณจำ�เป็นต้องรู้เกี่ยวกับการทำ�งานให้บริการทางเพศในออสเตรเลีย นอกจากนั้น Red Files ยังเป็น แพลตฟอร์มเครือข่ายข้อมูลที่ดีเยี่ยม สามารถใช้ติดต่อกับเพื่อนร่วมอาชีพคนอื่นๆ การสร้างเครือข่ายการติดต่อกับคนอื่นจะช่วยสร้างความแตกต่างเมื่อคุณต้องการแชร์ เรื่องต่าง ๆ ของคุณ ไม่ว่าจะเป็นเรื่องอะไรก็ตาม ขอให้ทุกคนโชคดีนะคะ!



THAI MISTRESS SALINA ผู้ให้บริการทางเพศแนว Kink และ Fetish คำ�สรรพนาม พวกเขา

คุณเปลี่ยนงานจากการเป็นนักวิจัยทางการแพทย์ มาเป็นนางบำ�เรออาวุโส และผู้ให้ บริการทางเพศแนว Pro-Domme ได้อย่างไร? คืออย่างนี้นะคะ ก่อนหน้านี้ฉันได้เดินทางไปทั่วออสเตรเลีย และอาศัยอยู่ในรถตู้ เป็นเวลา 18 เดือน เมื่อฉันกลับมาที่เมลเบิร์น ฉันไปสมัครงานกับสถาบันวิจัยที่มีชื่อ เสียงแห่งหนึ่งในเมลเบิร์น และฉันก็ได้รับเข้าทำ�งานทันที โดยการฉันทำ�งานร่วมกับ พนักงานทั้งชั้นจำ�นวนสิบคน โดยเริ่มทำ�งานตั้งแต่ 7.00-17.00 น. และทุกวันใน ขณะนั้นที่ยังต้องใช้ชีวิตอยู่กับรถตู้ ทำ�ให้ฉันเริ่มตื่นตระหนกเป็นอย่างมาก! และฉัน ก็ไม่ได้รู้สึกเหมือนตัวเองพร้อมที่จะก้าวไปสู่ข้อผูกมัดในงานนั้น แต่ก็ยังไม่แน่ใจอีก ว่า โลกภายนอกของธุรกิจที่ฉันทำ�นั้น ยังจะมีงานอื่นสำ�หรับฉันอีกหรือไม่ ซึ่งแฟน ของฉันในเวลานั้น ถามฉันอย่างติดตลกว่า “ทำ�ไมคุณไม่หางานเป็น Dominatrix ล่ะ?” ตอนนั้นฉันก็ไม่รู้หรอกว่าเขาล้อเล่น และในวันรุ่งขึ้นหลังจากเขาออกจากบ้าน รถตู้ของเราไปทำ�งาน ซึ่งในขณะนั้นเขาทำ�งานเกี​ี่ยวกับสิ่งพิมพ์ ฉันก็โทรไปหาสถาน เริงรมย์สองแห่งในเมลเบิร์น ซึ่งแห่งหนึ่งเป็น Fetish House และจากนั้นเอง ทุก อย่างก็เปลี่ยนไป! จากคำ�พูดตลกในวันนั้น ที่บังเอิญกลายไปเป็นโอกาสทางอาชีพจริง! แล้วคุณตัดสิน ใจได้อย่างไรว่า คุณจะเลือกบริการแนวไหนเป็นหลัก ในธุรกิจเพศพาณิชย์นี้? ฉันเป็นผู้ให้บริการมาสิบปีแล้ว และประเภทของบริการที่ฉันเสนอให้นั้นมีการ วิวัฒนาการและเปลี่ยนแปลงไปตามกาลเวลา ซึ่งขึ้นอยู่กับหลาย ๆ ปัจจัย ส่วน ระดับประสบการณ์ของฉันในตอนนั้นมีอิทธิพลต่อสิ่งที่ฉันรู้สึกมั่นใจที่จะเลือกทำ� เป็นบริการพิเศษ วิถีชีวิตภายนอกสถานเริงรมย์ และอิทธิพลของมันต่อสุขภาพและ ระดับกำ�ลังวังชาของฉัน อีกทั้งความเห็นที่แตกต่างกันออกไปของคนรักของฉันใน เวลานั้น รวมถึงขอบเขตของเราภายในความสัมพันธ์นั้น

และในตอนที่คุณเริ่มต้น คุณมีพี่เลี้ยงคอยให้คำ� แนะนำ�ไหม? คุณคิดว่าการมีพี่เลี้ยงคอยให้คำ� แนะนำ�นั้น มีความจำ�เป็นสำ�หรับผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ แนว Kink หน้าใหม่หรือไม่? ฉันเข้าสู่การฝึกงาน และยังได้รับคำ�แนะนำ�จากพี่ เลี้ยงที่เป็นนางบำ�เรอ ผู้ซึ่งฉันรู้ใจ ผูกพันด้วย ฉัน รู้สึกว่า ในตำ�แหน่งใดๆ ก็ตามที่คุณเป็นผู้ให้บริการ ต้องการความแม่นยำ�ด้านการแสดง ดังนั้น การ ฝึกฝนจึงเป็นกุญแจสำ�คัญ และการได้เห็นตัวอย่าง ต่าง ๆ จึงเป็นเรื่องที่จำ�เป็นอย่างยิ่ง การทำ�งานร่วม กับร่างกายที่มีรูปร่างต่าง ๆ กัน และการตอบสนอง ต่อสิ่งกระตุ้นที่ต่างกัน จะทำ�ให้เห็นตัวอย่าง และ ความสำ�คัญของการตอบสนองในสิ่งต่าง ๆ เพื่อให้ สามารถปรับการแสดงตามได้ การทำ�งานในสถาน บริการที่มีผู้ร่วมงานคนอื่น ๆ และมีการบริการที่ คล้ายคลึงกัน จะช่วยให้คนที่เพิ่งเข้ามาใหม่ ได้เรียนรู้ จากประสบการณ์เหล่านั้นในหลายๆรูปแบบ และยัง มีคนคอยสนับสนุน ในเวลาที่เราไม่แน่ใจว่าจะรับมือ กับสถานการณ์นั้น ๆ ได้อย่างไร มันอาจเป็นสภาพ แวดล้อมที่เครียดมาก จึงเป็นเรื่องสำ�คัญ ที่เราจะ ต้องดูแลสุขภาพทั้งด้านร่างกาย และจิตใจ การที่มีพี่

เลี้ยง คอยให้คำ�แนะนำ� และช่วยเหลือในทุก ๆ ทาง เท่าที่ทำ�ได้ จึงเป็นประโยชน์สำ�หรับทุกคน ดังนั้น ฉัน จะตอบว่าใช่ค่ะ การเป็นผู้ให้บริการทางเพศแนว Kink นั้น ฟังดูมี เสน่ห์และน่าตื่นเต้นมาก แต่ส่วนใดเป็นงานที่น่าเบื่อ ของคุณที่คนนอกวงการคนอื่น คาดไม่ถึง? การทำ�ความสะอาด ล้างแล้วก็ล้างอีก แบบไม่มีจบ สิ้น ฉันใช้เวลาในการทำ�ความสะอาดมากกว่าเวลา ในการแสดงเสียอีก ฉันสามารถจินตนาการตามได้เลย! แล้วที่เกี่ยวกับ การจองนัดกับลูกค้าล่ะ มีข้อกำ�หนดอะไรที่คนอื่นจะ เข้าวงการนี้แล้วสามารถเป็นผู้ให้บริการแนว Kink และ Fetish ได้ไหม (เช่น มีสุขภาพแข็งแรงหรือเป็น คนมีพละกำ�ลัง)? ที่จริงแล้ว การมีสุขภาพแข็งแรงและเป็นผู้มีพละ กำ�ลังไม่ใช่สิ่งที่ Fetish House จะคาดหวังว่าผู้ให้ บริการ ต้องมี สิ่งที่สำ�คัญคือ ความสามารถในการ รับฟัง ทำ�ตามคำ�สั่ง และวางตัวให้อยู่ในขอบเขต ระหว่างคุณและลูกค้าอย่างชัดเจน เมื่อคุณต้องข้อง

การตระหนักรู้ถึงขอบเขต ความสามารถในการรับ ฟัง ความเอาใจใส่ และเห็นอกเห็นใจผู้อื่น ฟังดูแล้ว เหมือนข้อกำ�หนดของงานโดยรวมที่ธุรกิจไหน ๆ ก็ จะได้ประโยชน์ด้วยเช่นกัน การทำ�งานในสภาพ แวดล้อมนี้มีผลกระทบต่อความรู้สึกต่อตัวเอง ต่อ ร่างกาย และต่อรสนิยมทางเพศของคุณหรือเปล่า? ไม่ต้องสงสัยเลยว่า การทำ�งานในธุรกิจนี้มีอิทธิพล ต่อบุคลิกภาพของฉัน ตั้งแต่ไหนแต่ไร ฉันเป็นไบ เซ็กซ์ชวล(Bisexual) และมีความสัมพันธ์แบบเปิด (Open in a relationships) ก่อนที่จะทำ�งานในธุรกิจ สายนี้ แต่ฉันไม่เคยเป็นได้รับบทเป็น เจ้าของ/ทาส/ คนรองรับ/คนชั้นล่างมาก่อน นี่จึงเป็นประสบการณ์ ใหม่ที่จะมีความสัมพันธ์แบบหลายคู่นอนกับคนอื่น ๆ ในระดับที่สูงขึ้น ฉันยังพบอีกว่ามุมมองต่อร่างกาย ฉันเปลี่ยนแปลงตลอดเวลาท่ี่ทำ�งานนี้ บางทีก็ยก ระดับสูงขึ้น และลดต่ำ�ลงในเวลาต่าง ๆ กัน ตัวอย่าง

เช่น มันทำ�ให้ฉันภูมิใจเมื่อผู้ร่วมงาน หรือลูกค้าชื่น ในชมความสามารถ การสร้างสรรค์หรือรูปลักษณ์ ของฉัน แต่ในบางครั้งฉันก็รู้สึกตกต่ำ� เมื่อฉันเปรียบ เทียบตัวเองกับเพื่อนร่วมงานคนอื่น ๆ ในด้าน ความ แข็งแรง รูปร่าง บุคลิกภาพ และพรสวรรค์หลายด้าน ของพวกเขา ความคิดเปรียบเทียบนี้ มันเป็นความ ท้าทายของความคิดตัวเอง (และฉันก็เชื่อว่าผู้ให้ บริการหลายคน ก็มีประสบการณ์แบบนี้ในบางครั้ง) เพราะฉะนั้น คุณต้องไม่เอามาใส่ใจ หากลูกค้าไม่ เลือกคุณ และเขาต้องการผู้ให้บริการคนอื่น แน่นอนว่าเรื่องนี้อาจเป็นเรื่องท้าทายมาก และน่า เสียดายที่ต้องเกิดขึ้นในบางครั้ง ขอถามหน่อยว่า คุณมีวิธีคลายความตึงเครียดอย่างไรบ้าง หลังจาก เสร็จงานที่ท้าทายมา? ฉันพูดคุยกับเพื่อนที่ทำ�งานค่ะ ซึ่งช่วยฉันได้หลาย อย่างเลย สิ่งแรก ฉันอยากให้พวกเขารับรู้ในสิ่งที่ฉัน เจอมาเพื่อเตรียมใจพวกเขาไว้ก่อน หากพวกเขาต้อง เผชิญกับสถานการณ์ที่คล้ายคลึงกัน เป็นสิ่งสำ�คัญ ที่เราจะต้องคอยสนับสนุนซึ่งกันและกัน หากฉันรู้สึก ว่าขอบเขตของฉันถูกรุกราน ในบางกรณีที่ ฉันรู้สึกว่า

ลูกค้าไม่ได้สิ่งที่ตรงกับความต้องการของพวกเขา ซึ่ง ฉันก็ได้ลองทำ�แล้วทุกอย่างเพื่อให้พวกเขาพอใจแล้ว ดังนั้นการที่ฉันได้ขับรถกลับบ้าน และได้ออกจาก ห้องใต้ดินแห่งนั้น มักช่วยให้ฉันผ่อนคลายได้เสมอ ลักษณะการกระทำ�ของลูกค้าแบบไหน ที่คุณพบเจอ อยู่บ่อยครั่้ง และอยากที่คุณให้พวกเขาหยุดทำ�? ฉันอยากให้ลูกค้าของฉันหยุดต่อรอง เจรจา และ อ้างเหตุผลเช่น “ฉันเป็นคนตกงาน” หรือแสดงบัตร นักศึกษาแล้วพูดว่า “ผมยังเป็นนักเรียน” ธุรกิจของ เราเป็นธรุกิจฟุ่มเฟือยไม่ใช่สิ่งของจำ�เป็น แต่สำ�หรับ ลูกค้าบางคน เราอาจควรได้รับเงินลดหย่อนจากเมดิ แคร์หรือการเคลมสิทธิจากการประกันสุขภาพเอกชน เพราะเราได้ช่วยเหลือลูกค้าของเราในหลาย ๆ ระดับ เช่นกัน อ่า.. สำ�หรับเรื่องนั้น มีอะไรที่คุณต้องการให้สังคมใน วงกว้างเข้าใจมากขึ้นเกี่ยวกับเรื่องการให้บริการใน แนว Kink และ Fetish ไหม? ฉันอยากให้คนเข้าใจว่า ผู้คนที่ทำ�ให้คนอื่นเจ็บปวด ไม่ได้เป็นโรคจิตมีอาการต่อต้านสังคมหรือไม่แคร์ ความรู้สึกของผู้อื่น พวกเราเป็นผู้ที่เข้าใจผู้อื่น และ ช่วยอำ�นวยความสะดวก แก่สิ่งที่ผู้อื่นต้องการ และ ในบางครั้ง เราก็ต้องก้าวออกจากขอบเขตของตัว เอง เพื่อช่วยผู้อื่นให้บรรลุจินตนาการแฟนตาซีของ พวกเขาด้วย สำ�หรับใครก็ตามที่อยากจะเข้ามาหารายได้ในธุรกิจ การบริการในแนว Kink และ Fetish คำ�แนะนำ�ของ คุณ สามอันดับแรก คืออะไร? 1. ต้องยอมรับไว้เลยว่า คุณต้องรับมือกับของเหลว ปริมาณมากจากร่างกายมนุษย์ 2. จำ�ไว้เสมอว่า คุณไม่จำ�เป็นต้องให้บริการ หรือ ทำ�อะไรใด ๆ ที่คุณไม่สบายใจ คุณมีสิทธิที่จะบอก ปฏิเสธได้ ไม่เป็นไร 3.ให้แน่ใจว่า คุณเพลิดเพลิน รู้สึกสนุกสนานไปด้วย ซึงความรู้สึกแบบนี้เป็นไปตามธรรมชาติ มิฉะนั้นแล้ว จะถือว่า คุณไม่เหมาะกับธุรกิจนี้ อุปกรณ์พื้นฐานสำ�หรับคนที่ต้องการเริ่มต้นทำ�งาน เป็นมืออาชีพแนว Kink จะต้องมีอะไรบ้าง? ก็คงจะเป็น อุปกรณ์ “แบบฉบับ” ทั่วไปที่ต้องมี ได้แก่ ชุดอุปกรณ์สวมใส่แนวเจ้านาย และทาส (Bondage gear) อุปกรณ์สำ�หรับการลงโทษทางร่างกาย ชุด สวมใส่ เครื่องมือกระตุ้นองคชาติ และลูกอัณฑะ และผลิตภัณฑ์ทำ�ความสะอาดเพื่อให้ปลอดเชื้อ คำ�ถามสุดท้าย หากคุณมีไมโครโฟนที่สามารถส่ง เสียงให้คนในสังคมทั้งหมดได้ยินในตอนนี้ คุณอยาก จะพูดว่าอะไรบ้าง? คุณเกิดมาและมีชีวิตอยู่เพียงครั้งเดียว ทำ�ไมไม่ทำ� สิ่งที่อยากทำ�ตอนนี้ล่ะ



เกี่ยวกับมนุษย์คนอื่น ด้วยวิธีที่มีความใกล้ชิดเช่น นี้ ถือเป็นสิ่งสำ�คัญที่คุณต้องปลูกฝังความเอาใจใส่ การเห็นอกเห็นใจผู้อื่น และในบางโอกาส คุณต้องอด กลั้นไม่รังเกียจลูกค้า

SOPHIE คุณแม่เลี้ยงเดียวกับผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ SHE/HER

หากฉันต้องใช้คำ�ศัพท์ คำ�หนึ่งเพื่ออธิบายความ สัมพันธ์ระหว่างฉันกับธุรกิจ บริการทางเพศ คำ�นั้นจะต้อง ถูกวิจารณ์เป็นอย่างแน่ เพราะฉัน ไม่ได้เข้าไปอยู่ในธรุกิจนี้อย่างเต็มตัว เหมือนขาข้างนึงที่ก้าวเข้ามาแล้ว แต่ก็ ยังคงมีขาอีกข้างที่อยู่ข้างนอกประตูบานนี้ อยู่ ใช่ ฉันเป็นผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ แต่ฉันก็เป็น คุณแม่คนหนึ่ง เป็นนักวิชาการ เป็นน้องสาว พี่ สาว เป็นลูกสาว เป็นคนรัก และเป็นเพื่อนคนหนึ่ง เหมือนกัน ความกลัวอย่างรุนแรงที่จะถูก “เปิดเผย” ทำ�ให้การเขียน บทความนี้ไม่ง่ายเลย (ถึงแม้ว่าจะไม่แจ้งชื่อผู้เขียนก็ตาม) ฉัน ยังคงต่อสู้กับความรู้สึกที่ขัดแย้ง จากความคิดเห็นของผู้อื่นที่มอง เข้ามา ในขณะที่ฉันรู้สึกภูมิใจในตัวเอง และงานที่ฉันทำ� ความรู้สึก ของฉันขณะนี้ ฉันควรมีความมั่นใจ และภูมิใจในการตัดสินใจ ซึ่งควรที่ จะต้องปราศจากความรู้สึกผิดหรือรู้สึกอับอายจริงๆ แต่ฉันก็ไม่ได้ไร้เดียง สาเพียงพอ ที่จะคิดว่าความเห็นของฉันที่เป็นอยู่นี้เป็นเรื่องธรรมดา เนื้อผ้า ของชีวิตที่ถูกถักทอขึ้นมาจากความหลากหลายของมนุษย์ และความคิดเห็น และนี่ก็คงทำ�ให้ฉันต้องเก็บความเป็นตัวตนของฉันไว้เป็นความลับ ฉันจะเลือกทาง เดิน ที่มีการต่อต้านน้อยที่สุด เมื​ือประมาณสามปีที่แล้ว หลังจากที่มีการได้มีการนัดเจอ ออกเดท และการมีความ สัมพันธ์แบบข้ามคืน บ่อยครั้งที่ต้องเจอกับความผิดหวัง และการถูกล่วงละเมิด หลังจากนั้น เอง ทำ�ให้ฉันต้องใช้เวลากลับไปหาทาง เพื่อดึงตัวเองกลับมามีอำ�นาจและเชื่อมั่นอีกครั้ง ซึ่งฉัน ก็ไม่เคยคาดคิดเลยว่า ธุรกิจการให้บริการทางเพศ จะเข้ามามีบทบาทความสำ�คัญ และช่วยลบล้าง เหตุการณ์เหล่านั้น ทำ�ให้ฉันรู้สึกกลับมามีอำ�นาจและเชื่อมั่นพลังในตนเอง ซึ่งทำ�ให้ฉันสามารถเดิน ทางกลับสู่การปลดปล่อยทางเพศอีกครั้ง หากมองย้อนกลับไป ฉันเคยรู้สึกทึ่งกับงานให้บริการทางเพศ มาตลอด ฉันชอบแนวความคิดของการได้เป็นเจ้านายตัวเอง การทำ�งานนอกกรอบที่ยอมรับได้ของสังคม และถือเป็นของขวัญที่ดี ทำ�ให้ฉันมีโอกาสได้เข้ามาเห็น ถึงจุดเริ่มต้นของความเป็นมนุษย์ ที่ไม่ได้มีปรุงแต่ง ใดๆ การเปิดใจ และยอมรับให้ตนเองได้รับการดูแล ซึ่งถือเป็นสิ่งที่สำ�คัญ และยังทำ�ให้ฉันรู้อีกว่า การสัมผัสทาง ร่างกาย เป็นเครื่องบำ�บัดรักษาคนได้ดี และอาจดีกว่าคำ�พูดที่บางครั้งไม่สามารถทำ�ได้ อาชีพนี้เป็นเสมือน พี่น้อง ครอบครัว ที่หลบภัย รวมถึงเป็นผ้าห่มคอยคลุมป้องกันภัย ทั้งเรืองการเงิน และทำ�ให้ฉัน รอดพ้นช่วงเวลาที่ยากลำ�บากหลาย ๆ อย่างมาได้ ฉันได้เรียนรู้ รู้จักคุณค่าของมากมายของตัวฉันเอง และอะไรคือสิ่งที่ฉัน


ต้องการ อาจเพราะฉันได้ เจอกับผู้หญิง (และผู้ชาย) หลากหลายแบบจำ�นวนมาก เมื่อย้อนกลับไปตอนแรกที่ฉันเริ่ม ทำ�งานนี้ ตอนนั้นลูกของฉันยังเล็ก เพิ่งมีอายุแค่ 2 ขวบ และการทำ�งานใน ธุรกิจนี้ทำ�ให้ฉันมีเวลาได้อยู่กับลูกมากขึ้น สำ�หรับฉันแล้วเวลานั้นถือเป็นสิ่งที่มีค่ามาก สำ�หรับฉัน แต่ในบางครั้ง ฉันเคยรู้สึก เบื่อหน่าย และรู้สึกไม่ดี กับอาชีพนี้ ซึ่งก็คงเหมือนกับอาชีพอื่น ๆ ทั่วไป! เพราะ สังคมที่คับแคบ ไม่ว่าคุณจะทำ�อาชีพไหน ก็บั่นทอน ทั้ง สุขภาพจิตใจ และร่างได้ทั้งนั้น การเผชิญกับวันที่โชคไม่ดีใน การทำ�งาน วันที่เงียบ ไม่มีแขก ความไม่มั่นคงของงาน ความ ลับและคำ�พูดที่ต้องแก้ตัว ปิดบังตัวเอง ความกลัวต่อการถูกเปิด เผย การถูกจองนัดที่แย่ ๆ (ทุกคนก็คงโดนเหมือนกันใช่มั้ยคะ!) รวม ถึง ลูกค้าที่กลับกลายมาเป็นขาประจำ� และกลายเป็นคุ้นเคยมากจนเกิน ไป ซึ่งทำ�ให้บางครั้ง ฉันต้องกลับมาตั้งคำ�ถามกับตัวเองที่มีต่องาน เมื่อคิด ย้อนกลับไป ในช่วงเวลาที่แย่ ๆ เหล่านั้น ทำ�ให้ฉันได้เรียนรู้ถึงขอบเขต และ ความต้องการของตัวเอง ซึ่งเป็นบทเรียนที่มีค่ามาก และทำ�ให้ฉันได้เปิดมุมมอง อื่น ๆ โดยเอาความรู้สึกตัวเอง ลองออกมาอยู่ข้างนอกของอาชีพนี้ และมองรอบๆ อย่างซื่อสัตย์ ฉันนับถือพ่อแม่ที่เลือกที่จะบอกลูก ๆ ว่าพวกเขาทำ�งานเป็นผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ ด้วยเหตุผล หลายประการ ซึ่งทำ�ให้เด็กเหล่านั้น จะกลายเป็นคนรุ่นใหม่ ที่ได้รับข้อมูลแบบไม่ปิดบัง ทำ�ให้ เค้าเข้าใจ และเปิดใจมากกว่า โดยการสร้างยอมรับนี้ เป็นตัวอย่างที่ดีให้กับคนหนุ่มสาวในโลกที่ เต็มไปความวิตกกังวล แต่ในอีกแง่หนึ่ง ฉันกังวลว่า การตัดสินใจของฉันอาจทำ�ให้ลูกน้อย ๆ ของฉัน (ผู้ซึ่งไม่อายที่จะแบ่งปันรายละเอียดเรื่องส่วนตัวของครอบครัวให้กับผู้อื่น!) อาจถูกกีดกันออกจากกลุ่ม เพื่อน ๆ เพราะพ่อแม่ของเพื่อน อาจไม่เห็นด้วย ซึ่งความคิดนี้อาจจะเปลี่ยนไปเมื่อพวกเขาเติบโตขึ้น แต่ สำ�หรับตอนนี้แล้ว ลูกของฉันนั้นยังเด็ก และกำ�ลังยุ่งอยู่กับการหยิบ จับ สิ่งต่างๆรอบตัว และสร้างขึ้นมาใหม่ ก็คงเพียงพอแล้วสำ�หรับตอนนี้ แน่นอนว่าเป็นเรื่องปกติ ที่ฉันเป็นแม่เลี้ยงเดี่ยว และประกอบอาชีพบริการทางเพศ อาชีพนี้ทำ�ให้ฉันรู้จักกับผู้หญิงที่ มีความอดทน เข้มแข็งอย่างไม่น่าเชื่อ หลายๆคน ซึ่งเป็นคนที่คอยช่วยเหลือ ให้คำ�แนะนำ�เรื่องการเลี้ยงดูลูกแก่ฉัน และ เป็นคนที่ฉันเชื่อว่า ฉันเป็นพ่อแม่ที่ดีขึ้น ก็เพราะคำ�แนะนำ�จากประสบการณ์ของพวกเขา แต่สำ�หรับฉัน หลังจากเลิกงาน แล้วได้กลับมาแกว่งเปลที่ลูกชายนอนหลับและปลื้มใจที่ฉันไม่ต้องเป็นห่วงว่าจะเอาเงินมาใช้จ่ายครั้งต่อไปได้ที่ไหน และได้ รู้ว่าพรุ่งนี้ฉันมีเวลาที่อิสระจะได้ใช้เวลาที่น่ามหัศจรรย์กับลูก การเลือกที่จะเข้ามาในวงการนี้ คงเป็นเหตุผลหลัก ทีฉ่ นั เลือกและ เหมาะกับฉันทีส่ ดุ และฉันจะไม่ยอมให้ความเหนือ่ ยล้าและจริยธรรมเก่า ๆ มาขวางทางฉันอย่างแน่นอน!



MELINAH VIKING นักแสดงหน้ากล้องหลากหลายความสามารถ และเพื่อนแนว Kink PRONOUNS: SHE/HER

เรามาเริ่มต้นกับคำ�ถามว่า คุณมีเวลาดี ๆ หรือน่า ภาคภูมิใจที่อยากแบ่งปันให้เราฟังบ้างไหม? หนึ่งในช่วงเวลาที่ฉันภูมิใจที่สุดคือตอนที่ โปรดิวเซอร์/ผู้กำ�กับที่มีชื่อเสียงคนหนึ่งเลือก ฉันให้เป็นตัวแสดงในภาพยนตร์เรื่องสั้นที่ได้รับ รางวัลหลายรางวัลของพวกเขา ซึ่งได้เข้าฉายใน โรงภาพยนตร์หลายแห่งและชนะรางวัลระดับ นานาชาติ แสดงว่าฉันกำ�ลังสัมภาษณ์นักแสดงหน้ากล้องชื่อ ดัง จากภาพยนตร์ที่ได้รับรางวัลยอดเยี่ยมระดับ นานาชาติหรือนี่! สุดยอดไปเลย ถ้าอย่างงั้น คุณ ลองเล่าให้ฟังหน่อยได้ไหม เกี่ยวกับความสัมพันธ์ ของคุณกับธุรกิจให้บริการทางเพศ และมันมีความ หมายกับคุณอย่างไรบ้าง? สำ�หรับฉันแล้ว ธุรกิจให้บริการทางเพศ หมายถึง ความหลากหลายของมนุษย์ และมันเน้นให้เห็น ความจริงที่ว่า แท้จริงแล้ว คนทุกคนเหมาะสมกับ คนทุกคนเท่ากัน! เหตุผลที่ฉันมาอยู่ในวงการนี้ มักจะเปลี่ยนไปตามกาลเวลา แต่เหตุผลหนึ่งที่ติด อยู่ในใจฉันเวลานั้นคือ การแสดงออกทางความ รู้สึก ฉันคิดว่าอาชึพนี้เปิดโอกาสที่ให้ฉันรู้ และ เข้าใจว่าตัวเองรู้สึกอย่างไร ไม่ได้เป็นคนที่ร่างกาย

ภายนอกบอกให้ฉันเป็น ความอิสระของงาน ความ สนุกสนานที่ฉันทำ�งานอยู่นั้นทำ�ให้สิ่งแย่ ๆ รอบ ๆ ตัวค่อย ๆ หายไป ซึ่งมันอัศจรรย์มาก! ความ หวังผ่านการทำ�งานของฉัน ไม่เพียงแต่ ให้ความ สุข และเติมเต็มความสัมพันธ์ของผู้คนระหว่างตัว เขาเอง และคนอื่นเท่านั้น แต่ยังเป็นกระบอกเสียง ที่ให้ความรู้ และช่วยในการทำ�ลายการตีตรา ใน ลักษณะเชิงบวกอีกด้วย รสนิยมทางเพศ และความ สุขทางเพศเป็นสิทธิพื้นฐานของมนุษย์อย่างเราทุก คน ไม่ว่าเราจะเกิดมาเป็นเพศใด มีรูปร่างหน้าตา แบบไหน เชื้อชาติ ศาสนาอะไร มีแนวโน้มทางเพศ ด้านไหน คุณบอกกล่าวได้อย่างไม่มีที่สิ้นสุด คุณพูดได้ดีมากคะ! มันน่าท้อใจเหมือนกัน ที่รับรู้ว่า ยังมีการตีตราด้วยความคิดผิด ๆ ต่อชีวิตทางเพศ ของคนพิการ นี่เป็นสิ่งที่คุณเองก็คิดต่อต้านใช่ไหม? ใช่เลยค่ะ การตีตรานี่เป็นเรื่องจริง ถึงกับทำ�ให้ฉัน โกรธเป็นการส่วนตัวเลย แต่ฉันมีประสบการณ์กับ เรื่องนี้สามอย่าง 1. การตีตราทั่วไป ที่เกิดขึ้นกับคนพิการว่า เห็นแค่ เป็นเรื่องเพศ แม้แต่ในปี 2020 ทัศนคติแบบนี้ยังมี ให้เห็นอย่างชัดเจนว่า หากคุณมีความพิการ คุณ จะต้องไม่มีเซ็กซ์หรือ ไม่ควร มีความต้องการทาง 109

เพศ บ่อยครั้งที่เครือข่ายให้การสนับสนุนของคุณ เชื่อว่า เรื่องนี้ไม่มีความสำ�คัญพอที่จะเป็นส่วนหนึ่ง ของชีวิตคุณ หรือมีค่าพอกับความพยายามสำ�หรับ พวกเขาให้ “เข้ามามีเสี่ยง” และ/หรือ มารับผิดชอบ เพื่ออำ�นวยความสะดวกให้กับความจำ�เป็นเหล่านี้ หรือรับมือกับผลกระทบที่อาจเกิดขึ้น ไม่ว่าจะเป็น ด้านอารมณ์ ร่างกาย หรือกฎหมายก็ตาม แล้วก็ยัง มีลูกค้าที่อาจกลัวเรื่องเพศสัมพันธ์หรือการเดินไป ตามทางที่เขาไม่เข้าใจ หรือลูกค้าที่ได้เรียนรู้มาจาก รูปแบบทั่วไปที่ผิด ๆ อย่างที่ฉันพูดบ่อย ๆ ก็คือ การ เผชิญหน้ากับคนพวกนี้ อาจต้องใช้ความสร้างสรรค์ ทางร่างกายมากขึ้นเล็กน้อยในบางครั้ง และถึงกระ นั่นก็เป็นส่วนที่สนุกไม่ใช่หรือ? ในที่สุดแล้ว เซ็กซ์ จึงควรมีความสร้างสรรค์ควบคู่ไปด้วย ไม่ว่าจะมี ความพิการหรือไม่ นั่นเป็นที่ทำ�ให้เซ็กซ์สนุก มีชีวิต ชีวา และช่วยคุณเรียนรู้ว่าคุณมีอะไรที่คุณชอบ/ไม่ ชอบที่จะทำ�มัน! 2. การตีตราให้กับงานบริการทางเพศโดยทั่วไป หรือคำ�พูดที่ว่า “งานขายตัวไม่ใช่งานจริง ๆ” บ้างก็ พูดว่า งานนี้นั้นเป็นสิ่งที่ผิด มันเป็นวิถีทางที่ไร้ฝีมือ และจนตรอกที่จะหาเงิน คนที่ทำ�อาชีพนี้ก็จำ�เป็น ต้องได้รับการช่วยเหลื่อ หรือช่วยชีวิตจากคนอื่น คำ� พูดซ้ำ� ๆ ที่ชอบกล่าวอ้างว่า หากมีคนมาช่วยเรา ให้

โอกาสเรา หรือโอกาสที่เป็นทางเลือกได้ละก็ เราจะ หยุดทำ�สิ่งที่แย่ ๆ นี้ใช่ไหม? ไร้สาระจริงๆ!! โอ้แม่ เจ้าโว๊ยย!! งานบริการทางเพศเป็นอาชีพที่เก่าแก่ ที่สุด และคนที่จะทำ�อาชีพนี้ได้ต้องเป็นคนที่มีฝีมือ เป็นอย่างมาก ละไม่ว่า! 3. การตีตราที่เฉพาะเจาะจง การปิดกั้นการเป็น ผู้ให้บริการทางเพศ สำ�หรับบุคคลที่มีความพิการ คนพิการมักถูกมองว่าไม่สามารถจะตัดสินใจ เกี่ยวกับร่างกาย และความชอบทางเพศของตัว เองได้ ดังนั้น จึงไม่สามารถเลือกอาชีพบริการทาง เพศได้ และต้องเคยโดนชักใยหรือเอาเปรียบมา ก่อน ปฏิกิริยา “คุณต้องได้รับการช่วยเหลือ” จึง ถูกเน้นขึ้นมา ‘ใครยอมให้เรื่องแบบนี้เกิดกับคุณ เนี่ย?’ ทัศนคตินี้ยังมีอยู่เลย แม้แต่ภายในธุรกิจนี้ ที่ฉันได้รับมาบ่อยมากจากคนที่อยู่ในวงการ ไม่ ว่าในอดีตหรือปัจจุบันซึ่งน่าจะเป็นผู้ที่รู้ดีกว่านี้ นอกจากนั้น ยังมีความเข้าใจผิด ๆ จากคนอื่นว่า ถ้าใครทำ�งานกับฉัน พวกเขาคงต้องเอาเปรียบ ‘คน พิการที่น่าสงสาร’ หรือจะต้องถูกตัดสินจากสังคม ถ้ามาทำ�งานกับฉัน เพราะใคร ๆ ก็คิดว่าฉันไม่มี ความสามารถพอที่จะตัดสินใจด้วยตัวเอง ยังมี อีกที่คนในวงการเคยปรามไม่ให้ฉันทำ�งาน พูดใน ทำ�นองเป็นมิตรที่ทำ�ให้ฉันรู้สึกว่าถูกลูบหัวแล้วพูด ว่า “โอ้ว ช่างดีเหลือเกินที่ได้พบคุณที่นี่! ฉันยังไม่ มั่นใจเลยว่าคุณจะมา” หรือพูดว่า “คุณรู้อยู่แล้วว่า

คุณไม่ต้องมาก็ได้ คุณได้ลงทะเบียนไว้ และมีชื่ออยู่ ในทะเบียนของเราแล้ว แต่เราก็เข้าใจนะถ้าคุณไม่ มา” การพูดแบบนี้มันทำ�ลายความมั่นใจมาก และ ทำ�ให้ค่อนข้างอยากที่จะทำ�ให้ฉันกลับมาอัก การ ค้นหาทางเดินตลอดเส้นทางนี้ เป็นกระบวนการที่ ต้องเป็นไปอย่างต่อเนื่อง และฉันเองก็ต้องต่อสู้เพื่อ ให้มีการยอมรับสิทธิของฉันในฐานะบุคคล ๆ หนึ่งที่ มีสิทธิเลือก สิทธิในการแสดงออกถึงความชอบทาง เพศ ก็เหมือนกับคนอื่น ๆ นั่นแหละ ฉันมักจะต้อง เป็นคนที่คอยยืนยันกับพวกเขาเสมอว่า ฉันปฏิบัติ ตามกฎหมายและตามทำ�นองคลองธรรมของความ เป็นผู้ใหญ่ ฉันสามารถควบคุมการทำ�งานของ สมองด้วยตัวฉันได้เองอย่างเต็มที่ กระบวนการ ตัดสินใจของฉันไม่ได้พิการซักหน่อย และฉันก็ไม่ จำ�เป็นที่ต้องมาคอยพิสูจน์ทุกวัน แต่ก็เป็นที่น่า เสียดาย ที่ฉันยังคงต้องทำ�! การที่จะต้องรื้อฟื้นความรู้สึกถูกกดขี่ ที่เราไม่ ต้องการ หรือแม้แต่ความรุนแรงที่เกิดขึ้นและยังคง อยู่ข้างในใจ แล้วมาเปิดออก ในการทำ�งานนี้ คง ส่งผลกระทบรุนแรงต่ออารมณ์มาก คุณเล่าให้ฟัง หน่อยได้ไหมว่า คุณรู้สึกอย่างไรกับด้านอื่นของชีวิต เช่น ครอบครัว เพื่อน คู่ครอง หรือผู้ช่วยส่วนตัว? ฉันเคยมีปัญหามากมายกับผู้ช่วยส่วนตัว และเรื่อง

ความไม่สบายใจของพวกเขา หรือแม้แต่เรื่องความ รู้สึกที่จะช่วยเหลือฉัน เป็นเรื่องน่าเศร้าที่หน่วย งานให้การสนับสนุนบางแห่งจะไม่รับฉัน หรือทิ้ง ฉัน เมื่อพวกเขาทราบเรื่องอาชีพที่ฉันทำ� กุญแจ สำ�คัญ คือ การหาหน่วยงานสนับสนุนที่ให้การ ยอมรับได้ว่า งานให้บริการทางเพศเป็นงานจริง ๆ และหาคนที่คุณสามารถไว้ใจได้หากเปิดเผยเรื่อง นี้ให้ทราบ แน่นอนเป็นความท้าทาย หากพวกเขา ยังไม่สามารถยอมรับได้ เมื่อผู้ช่วยส่วนตัวของฉันท ราบว่า หน่วยงานจัดหางานของพวกเขาให้การ สนับสนุน พวกเขาจะรู้สึกมั่นใจว่า พวกเขาไม่ได้ ทำ�อะไร “ผิด” เช่น ช่วยฉันแต่งตัวไปรับงานลูกค้า หรือส่งฉันไปตามการจองนัดของลูกค้า ซึ่งบางครั้ง ก็ทำ�ให้ฉันเห็นได้ชัดเลยว่า มีผู้ช่วยฉันหลายคน ที่ไม่สามารถอำ�นวยความสะดวก หรือให้เหตุผล ว่า เค้าไม่ทำ�ในสิ่งที่เค้าคิดว่าผิดศีลธรรม แต่กลับ กัน การเอารัดเอาเปรียบคนอื่นได้ แต่ไม่เป็นไร ฉัน ยอมรับได้ ก็ให้พวกเขาทำ�งานกับคนอื่นแทน ส่วน ครอบครัว เพื่อน และคู่ครองก็เหมือนกัน ไม่ได้ เปลี่ยนเพราะฉันมีความพิการ แต่ปัญหาที่ฉันเจอ ส่วนใหญ่ ก็คืนคนอื่นที่ไม่เข้าใจฉัน ความเห็นต่อครอบครัว เพื่อน และคู่ครองก็แฟร์ ๆ นะ! นอกจากความท้าทายแล้ว คุณคิดว่าการ ทำ�งานบริการทางเพศได้ทำ�ให้ชีวิตของคุณดีขึ้นใน


MY DISABILITY ความพิ การของฉันไม่ได้ DOES NOT กำ�หนดให้ ฉันเป็นคนไม่ มี RENDER เซ็ ME กซ์ SEXLESS. ทางไหนบ้าง? โอ้ว ใช่เลย มันเพิ่มความมั่นใจในตัวเองให้กับฉัน ทำ�ให้ฉันเป็นคนที่ยืดหยุ่น ผ่อนคลาย และทำ�ให้ ฉันเป็นคนที่ดีขึ้น ก่อนหน้านี้ ฉันเป็นคนที่เงียบ ๆ และเห็นคล้อยกับคนอื่น แม้แต่ในเวลาที่ฉันไม่เห็น ด้วย ธุรกิจวงการนี้ได้สอนให้ฉันรู้ว่า ฉันสามารถ ยืนหยัดเพื่อตัวเองและผู้อื่นได้ ฉันได้เรียนรู้ที่จะลุก ขึ้นยืนเมื่อฉันถูกทำ�ให้ล้มลงเมื่อเผชิญหน้ากับการ ถูกปฏิเสธ หรือแม้แต่เคยมีเวลาที่ฉันกลัวว่าฉันไม่ เข้มแข็งพอ ฉันได้ทำ�สิ่งต่าง ๆ ไปที่ต่าง ๆ ได้ และ ทำ�บางสิ่งที่ฉันไม่เคยคิดว่าฉันจะทำ�ได้ตอนที่ฉันยัง อายุน้อย เป็นเรื่องที่ยอดเยี่ยมไปเลย ที่อาชีพนี่เพิ่มเรื่อง ความมั่นใจ และความยืดหยุ่น ผ่อนคลาย ซึ่งฉัน เห็นด้วยจากที่คุณแสดงออกมา คุณมีอะไรที่อยาก จะแนะนำ�ให้คนอื่น หรือคนที่พิการ และขาดความ มั่นใจในเรื่องที่จะสื่อสารถึงความจำ�เป็นและความ ต้องการทางเพศของพวกเขา? นี่เป็นสิ่งที่ทำ�ได้ยากมากค่ะ คนทั่วไปล้วนแล้วแต่ มีอิสระในการจะหาทางไปทางไหนก็ตามด้วยตัว เอง หรือผ่านเพื่อน แต่ถ้าหากคุณเป็นคนพิการ คุณมักจะไม่ได้รับการต้อนรับแบบพิเศษ คุณอาจ ต้องได้รับความช่วยเหลือในการจองนัดเอสคอร์ต จองนัดรถขนส่ง หรือคุณอาจต้องใช้พยายามใช้ ร่างกายของคุณ เพื่อให้ไปถึงตำ�แหน่งที่บริการเหล่า

นี้สามารถจะมารับคุณได้ หลายครั้งคุณมีคำ�พูด บางคำ�ที่คุณอยากพูดออกมา (หรืออาจมีหลายคำ� พูดด้วยซ้ำ�!) กับบุคคลที่ไม่จำ�เป็นต้องเข้าใจปัญหา ดังกล่าว เพราะพวกเขาอาจนำ�อคติ ความเชื่อ ค่า นิยม และความคิดของตัวเองมาสู่การสนทนา หรือ มาตัดสินคุณแม้กระทั่ง พวกเขาอาจไม่สามารถให้ ความสะดวกในขอบเขตที่คุณต้องการก็ได้ มันน่า เศร้าที่จะขึ้นกับนโยบายบริษัทที่ให้การสนับสนุน โดยเฉพาะที่คุณต้องการได้รับการสนับสนุนเท่าไหร่ หรือแม้ว่าเขาจะ จริงจัง กับคุณหรือไม่ หน่วยงาน สนับสนุนความพิการบางแห่งมีพื้นฐานจากความ ศรัทธา หรือความหวาดกลัวหากประชาชนรับรู้ และจากผลอันนั้นทำ�ให้พวกเขาระวังตัวเกินไป คุณ จะต้องพัฒนาหนังหน้าให้หนาเพื่อป้องกันตัวเอง จากการถูกตัดสิน การนำ�ตัวเองออกสู่สังคมในแง่นี้ เป็นเรื่องส่วนบุคคลอย่างมาก ดังนั้น คุณควรมอง หาใครบางคนที่คุณสามารถไว้ใจได้ เพื่อให้เป็นกระ บอกเสียงสนับสนุนคุณไว้ ต่อจากเรื่องนี้ คุณมีคำ�แนะนำ�สำ�หรับคนที่พิการที่มี แนวโน้มที่จะหางานในธุรกิจให้บริการทางเพศแบบ นี้อย่างไร? กฎทองข้อหนึ่ง คือ การหาข้อมูลให้มาก ตัดสิน ใจก่อนว่า คุณเป็นคนประเภทที่อยากจะประสบ ความสำ�เร็จ และกล้าเจอความท้าทายหรือไม่ หรือ เป็นคนที่จะมีแนวโน้ม่ว่า เป็นคนที่รับแรงกระทบ วิจารณ์ทางลบไม่ไหว เพราะอาชีพนี้ คุณจะต้อง 111

เจอกับมันแน่นอน ผู้คนมักเริ่มต้นด้วยการคิดว่า มันเป็นสิ่งหรูหรา แต่มันเป็นงาน! แล้วก็ไม่ใช่งาน ทางเลือกด้วย และบ่อยครั้งที่เงินสดที่หามาได้ ไม่ใช่ง่าย ๆ ลองเช็คความรู้สึกตัวเองให้แน่ใจว่า คุณต้องการอะไร แล้วค่อยพยายามทำ�ไป! เตรียม พร้อมที่จะต่อสู้เพื่อให้คนอื่นยอมรับคุณอย่างจริงจัง และปกป้องสิทธิของคุณเพื่อให้ได้การยอมรับใน ธุรกิจนี้ แม้กระทั่งสิทธิที่จะมีชีวิตอยู่! หากคุณ เป็นคนประเภทที่ชอบการท้าทาย คุณอาจจะพบ ว่ามีประโยชน์มากกว่าข้อเสีย ตราบใดที่คุณไม่ได้ ทำ�ร้ายใคร จงเป็นตัวของคุณเองและเป็นตัวตน ที่แท้จริง มีวิธีใดบ้างที่ผู้คนจะสามารถรู้ และเข้าใจผู้ให้ บริการทางเพศที่หลากหลายความสามารถ? ใช้เวลาให้การศึกษากับตัวคุณเองและผู้อื่น ค้นหา ข้อมูลด้วยใจที่เปิดกว้าง ฟังเรื่องราวของคนอื่นบ้าง สำ�หรับฉันแล้ว ความพิการไม่ได้ทำ�ให้ฉันเป็นคนที่ ด้อยค่ากว่าคนอื่นตรงไหน ฉันมีความต้องการและ ความจำ�เป็นเหมือนกับคนอื่น ๆ ความพิการของฉัน ไม่ได้กำ�หนดให้ฉันเป็นคนไม่มีเซ็กซ์ มันไม่ได้ทำ�ให้ ฉันมีความบกพร่องทางสติปัญญาเสียหน่อย แล้ว มันก็ไม่ได้ทำ�ให้ฉันไม่สามารถตัดสินใจเกี่ยวกับชีวิต ตัวเองได้ หลังจากที่คุณได้ยินและรับฟังเข้าใจแล้ว พยายามช่วยให้คนอื่นเข้าใจด้วยก็แล้วกัน

KOREAN 이민자이자 성 노동자 대명사: SHE/HER

안녕하세요. 첫번째로 당신과 성 산업과의 관계에 대한 질문을 해도 될까요?

않았지만 어릴 적에 가족과 이민을 왔습니다. 자라면서 저는 제 정체성에 대해 너무나 혼란스러웠어요. 저는 세가지 언어를 유창하게 할 수 있었지만 그 언어를 쓰는 어떤 나라들에도 속해있다는 느낌을 받지 못했고 항상 어디를 가든 ‘이방인’이라고 느꼈어요.

저는 여러 가지 일을 합니다. 저는 아직도 저와 이 산업과의 관계를 정확히 어떻게 설명해야 할 지 잘 모르겠어요. 이 일은 가장 신나고, 힘을 돋우어 주며, 성적으로 자유로워 지는 경험이었어요. 저는 저 자신과 인간의 본성에 대해서 많이 배웠습니다. 저는 제가 경험하고 배운 모든 것에 감사하지만 지금은 잠시 일을 쉬는 중이에요. 그동안 제 인권을 스스로 변호하고 제 의견을 관철시키는 데 심적으로 많이 고통스러웠거든요.

정말 방향을 잡기 힘들었겠네요. 이런 인종을 둘러싼 장애물들이 성 산업에서도 영향을 미치는지 물어봐도 될까요? 저는 같은 동양인 손님들을 상대하는게 힘들어요. 제가 동양인의 외모를 가졌다고 해서 그들은 자기들에게 어떤 특권이 있다고 생각하고 가격을 깎으려고 들거나 공짜로 서비스를 받으려고 하는 경향이 있습니다. 손님들의 인종을 떠나서는 제 경험상 모든 손님들이 제가 수동적이고, 조용하며 부끄러워하는 그 틀에 박힌 ‘동양인 여자아이’ 이기를 기대해요. 저는 제 유창한 영어로 손님들을 놀라게 하는걸 좋아한답니다.

당신이 말한 ‘심적인 고통’이란 이 산업에서 현재의 법 아래 너무나 흔하게 일어나는 일이지요. 당신이 당신 자신에게 필요한 것을 주는 것은 좋은 일이에요. 한 발자국 나아가서, 처음에 이 일을 어떻게 시작하게 되었나요? 돈 때문에 시작했어요. 저는 너무 비싼 동물병원 비용 때문에 막막한 상태였지요. 마침 제 친구가 용돈 벌이로 이 일을 시작했다는 얘기를 해 주었고 친절하게도 제가 일에 대해 궁금했던 것들을 질문할 수 있게 해주었어요. 또 우연히도, 친구는 그날 저녁 자기 쉬프트를 대신 해 줄 사람을 찾고 있었어요. 저는 깊게 생각하지 않고 그냥 제가 대신 일하겠다고 했어요! 저는 제가 뭘 해야 할지 전혀 모르는 상태로 처음 일을 하러 갔고 두 번 생각하지 않았어요. 지금 생각해보니, 참 거친 시간이었네요.

세상에, 그런 고정관념이란 정확한 게 없고 문제만 일으키지요. 고정관념 얘기가 나온 김에, 사회에서는 위험하게도 성 산업과 인신매매를 관련 지어 생각 할 때가 많습니다. 이민자인 성 노동자들에게는 더 하고요. 당신의 동양인 외모와 관련해서 이런 ‘미신’이 영향을 미친 적이 있나요? 네!! 사람들은 모두 제가 해외에서 인신매매를 당해서 호주 땅에서 강제로 성 노동을 하고 한다고 가정해요(제가 유창한 영어로 말을 하기 전에는 말이죠). 제가 영어를 하면 사람들은 혼란스러워하고 제가 제 나라로 돈을 보내고 있으며 이 상황에서 ‘구출’되어야 한다고 생각해요. 아니면 동양인 성 노동자들이 너무 많아서 경쟁이 심해 제가 제 인종의 사람들을 싫어한다고 생각하거나요?? 어딜 가나 ‘ 잘난 내가 널 구해줄게’라는 유형들은 있지만 그런 손님들은 특히나 동양인 성 노동자들에게 더 그러는 것 같아요.

와, 그래서 그 첫 날 뒤에 왜 일을 계속 하겠다고 마음을 먹었나요? 저는 일을 하면서 받는 느낌이 좋았어요. 일터에서의 저는 정말 자신감 있고, 강하고, 재치있고 단호했어요. 저는 종종 일터 밖에서도 제 모습이 그랬으면 하고 바랬답니다! 돈도 굉장히 잘 벌었고, 또 이 성 산업 내에서 ‘여자친구들’ 의 공동체 의식이 좋았어요. 일하기 전이나 후 애매한 시간대에 만나서 놀며 손님 뒷담화를 하기도 했지요. 우리는 함께 있을 때는 그 힘들게 번 돈을 같이 쓰면서 아무것도 걱정하지 않아도 됐어요!

자주 나오는 얘기네요. 성 산업 안과 밖의 사람들을 서로 이해시키고 동맹관계를 맺으려면 어떤 게 필요할까요?

어떤 공동체에 속해있다는 느낌은 너무나 중요하지요. 혹시 그런 점이 장애물로 느껴진 적이 있었나요?

우리가 구출 되어야 한다고 생각하지 말고, 또 다른 사람들이 그렇게 가정하는 것도 막으세요. 당신들의 잘못되고 편향된 의견이 확실하다고 생각하기 전에 우리의 얘기를 들어주고 또 우리를 알려고 노력하세요. 이 일은 깊은 공감과, 자기 인식, 인내심을 요구하며 모든 성 노동자들은 한 인간으로써 대우받아야 합니다.

저는 “ABC”라고 불리는 사람들 중에 하나입니다. ABC(Australian Born Chinese)는 호주 태생 중국인이라는 뜻이에요(사실 저는 순수 중국인이 아니고 다른 세 아시안 국가가 섞여 있기도 하지만요!) 저는 호주에서 태어나지는 113

LIZA 성인 성 노동자 대명사: SHE/HER


성 산업은 한살이라도 더 어린것에 집착하며 나이든 여성은 성적인 매력이 없다고 단정지어 버립니다. 이 가혹한 현실은 나이가 들며 외모가 변하면서 우리가 우리 자신을 가치 없다고 판단하게 만들지요. 나이 든 성 산업 종사자들은 고객들이 어린 여자만 원한다고 생각하고는 자신감을 잃을지도 모릅니다. 50살이 넘어서 성 노동을 하는 것은 말도 안되는 일이라고 생각할 수도 있지요. 그러나 수요는 분명히 있습니다. 단지 25살의 젊은 여자들보다는 그 수요가 적을 뿐이죠. 어려 보이려고 노력하거나 나이에 대해 거짓말을 할 수도 있지만 최선의 방법은 나이와 경험이 많은 것을 장점으로 홍보하는 것입니다.

얼마나 많은 수의 손님들은 끌어올 수 있느냐는 당신이 얼마나 적극적으로 자기 자신을 홍보하느냐에 달렸습니다. 나이 든 여자들은 아마 SNS를 적극적으로 이용하는 것을 불편해하거나 트위터가 손님 층을 구축하는데 얼마나 중요한 지 깨닫지 못할 수도 있지요. 당신이 에스코트 일을 시작하고 싶다면, 다른 성 노동자들로부터 어떻게 자신을 홍보해야 좋을지 자문을 구하세요. 그저 스칼렛 블루에 프로필을 올려놓는 것은 비즈니스를 시작하는 데에 충분하지 않을 수도 있습니다. 일을 시작했는데 만약 손님이 많지 않다면, 틈새 시장을 공략하거나 자신을 돋보이게 할 수 있는 레퍼토리를 만들어보세요. 혹시 도미나트릭스가 되어 유니크한 일을 할 수 있지 않을까요?

저는 성 노동을 50대에 시작했습니다 (사실, 처음엔 제 나이를 몇 살 줄여서 말하기는 했지만요). 저는 얼마나 많은 어린 남자들이 저를 원했는지 기쁘고 놀랐어요. 저는 얼마나 많은 어린 남자들이 나이 든 여자와의 성관계에 환상을 가지고 있는지 깨달았고 그들은 이 경험에 굉장히 감사해 했어요. 처음에 저는 나이든 남자들만 상대하려고 했었는데, 제 생각에 그들은 더 다루기 쉽고 문제를 덜 일으킬 거라고 생각했기 때문이었지요. 같은 이유로 저는 장애가 있는 손님들을 받기도 했습니다. 저는 적어도 그렇게 생각했어요. 풀 서비스 에스코트를 한 4년동안 문제를 일으켰던 손님들은 모두 어린 남자들이었거든요(적어도 저보다는 어렸어요).

저는 한번도 업소에서 일한 적이 없습니다. 에이전시를 통해서 일하는 것이 어떤지 말할 수는 없지만 나이든 여성을 전문으로 하는 몇몇 업소가 있는 걸로 보여요. 한번은 제가 굉장히 잘 알려진, ‘여성이 운영하는’ 멜번 업소에 일에 대해 물어보려고 간 적이 있었습니다. 그 여성 오너는 제가 너무 늙었고, 뚱뚱하고, 흰머리가 많다고 했어요. 그녀는 “당신은 나한테 쓸모 없어요.” 라고 했지요. 그녀는 늙고 뚱뚱한 제가 이 성 산업에서 성공하지 못한다는 걸 계속해서 이야기했어요. 그녀 의견에 동의하는 것은 아니지만 그래도 저는 그 경험에서 즐거움을 찾을 수 있었습니다. 적어도 좋은 이야깃거리 하나는 생겼잖아요. 그 일로 인해 저는 성


노동을 하는 것을 그만두지는 않았지만 매춘업소에서 일하는 것은 포기했어요. 그 경험은 제가 그녀의 그런 나이 차별적인 관점에 동의하지 않는다는 좋은 예시가 되었습니다. 그녀는 “모든 일이 당신이 원하는 대로 굴러가지는 않아요” 라고 말했어요. 네 그건 당연히 알고 있었지요. 또 나 혼자 일하는 게 더 적성에 맞다는 것도 알고 있었답니다. 당신이 나이든 성 노동자라면 중요하게 생각해야 할 몇가지 건강 문제가 있습니다. 폐경기에 접어들면서 당신의 질은 애액을 덜 생산하게 되고 또 소음순과 질 주변 피부가 얇아져 찢어지기도 하지요. 성관계가 고통스러워 질 수 있습니다. 윤활유가 최고의 도우미라는 것을 기억하세요. 윤활유, 윤활유, 윤활유! 질 건강을 잘 돌보아야 해요. 자궁 경부암 검사를 포함한 정기 검진을 꾸준히 받으세요. 폐경기 증상이 스트레스라면 호르몬 대체 요법 (Hormone Replacement Therapy)을 받을 수도 있습니다. 호르몬 요법이 꺼려진다면 에스트로겐 성분이 들어있는 질 좌약을 사용해보세요. 좌약은 성관계 시 질이 심하게 건조해 지는 것을 막아줍니다. 아니면 삽입 성관계를 하지 않을 수도 있지요. 나이가 있는 손님들은 발기가 안될 때가 자주 있고 그럴 때는 그들은 그저 저와 시간을 보내거나 저를 즐겁게 하는 걸로 만족했어요. 쉽고 편한 일이죠. 나이든 여성들은 극심한 가려움증을 일으키는 ‘ 경화성 태선’이 생기기도 합니다. 아구창 같은 가려움을 일으키지요. 경화성 태선은 비교적 흔한 자가 면역 질환이며 드물게는 질 암으로 발전하기도 합니다. 소음순과 질 피부를 더 약하게 만들기도 하고요. 거울에 비춰보면서 어떤 하얀 반점이나, 발진, 질 주변의 피부 변화나 소음순 근처가 찢어졌는지 확인해보세요. 경화성 태선을 발견했다면 스테로이드 성 국소 연고를 발라 치료해주는게 중요합니다. 연고를 바른다면 증상은 빠르게 사라지지만 의사의 충고를 따라 계속 발라주어야 할 수도 있어요. 폐경기 전후라면 정신 건강에 더욱 각별한 주의를 기울이세요. 호르몬의 변화는 당신의 기분을 극적으로 변화하게 만듭니다. 아무리 좋은 손님이 오더라도 성 노동이 정신적으로 크게 부담이 될 수 있다는걸 생각하면 자기 자신을 쉬게 하고 잘 돌보아 주는게 얼마나 중요한 지 알 수 있어요. 특히나 자기 자신이 손님들에게 스트레스를 너무 많이 받아 아예 지쳐버리기 전에 말이지요. 저는 시간 낭비하는 사람들을 더 이상 참아 줄 수 없어서 이제는 전화도 받지 않아요. 결국 저는 남자들에게 너무 지쳐버려서 이제는 성 노동 자체에 흥미를 잃어버렸어요. 게다가 폐경까지 함께 겪으니 그게 얼마나 힘든 지는 짐작할 수 있겠지요. 성 노동자는 혼자 일하는 사람으로써 사회적으로 고립되는 문제가 생길 수도 있습니다. 특히나 가족과 친구들이 당신이 성 노동자인 것을 모를 때는 더하지요. 가족과 친구들이 당신이 무슨 일을 하는 지 안다고 해도 일이 정말 어떤지 이해하는 사람들과 소통할 수 있어야 합니다. 저는 처음 일을 시작했을 때 이 산업 내에서 아무도 아는 사람이 없었고 게다가 이 도시에서 제가 가장 나이가 많은 성 노동자처럼 느껴졌어요. 아마 그랬을 거에요. 종종 다른 나이 많은 성 노동자들이 있다는 이야기는 듣지만 실제로 제 나이 또래의 사람을 만난 것은 단 한 번뿐 이었어요. 저처럼 늦은 나이에 일을 시작한 사람은 없는 것 같습니다. 성 노동자 커뮤니티에 다가가보세요. 저는 몇 년 전 RheD에 연락했을 때 좋은 충고와 지원을 받았고 또 RheD 를 통해 다른 성 노동자들을 만날 수도 있었어요. 또한 red files도 온라인으로 호주 전역의 성 산업에 대한 정보를 얻을 수 있다는 점에서 좋은 수단입니다. Red files로 다른 성 노동자들과 연락을 취할 수도 있어요. 무엇이든지 여러분의 이야기를 나누고 싶을 때 네트워킹을 하는건 큰 도움이 되지요! 행운을 빌어요.




셀리나. 어떻게 해서 당신은 의료 연구원에서 프로 도미나트릭스로 전업하게 되었나요? 이전에 저는 호주 전역을 여행하며 18개월 동안 밴에서 살았습니다. 여행에서 돌아왔을 때 멜번에서 잘 알려진 기관에 이력서를 냈고 바로 채용이 되었어요. 밴에서 계속 살면서 한 층 전체 열 명의 직원들을 관리하고 아침 7 시부터 오후 5시까지 일하는 건 정말 악몽이었죠. 이런 생활에 정착하고 싶지는 않았지만 이 일 말고 내가 무슨 다른 일을 할 수 있을까 확실하지 않았어요. 제가 그 당시 만나던 남자가 농담으로 “그러지 말고 도미나트릭스나 되어 보는 건 어때?”라고 물어보았어요. 저는 그게 농담인 줄도 모른 채 바로 다음 날 그가 일하러 간 사이 멜번의 업소들에 전화를 했고 그중 하나가 페티쉬 하우스였어요. 그 다음에 일어난 일들은 말할 필요가 없죠. 농담 하나가 직업을 결정짓는 중요한 순간을 만들었네요! 그러면 이 성 산업 내에서 어떤 분야에 초점을 맞출 지는 어떻게 정했나요? 저는 이 업계에서 10년동안 일했고 제가 제공하는 서비스들은 시간이 지나면서 발전하고 바뀌어 왔습니다. 어떤 분야에서 일할 지는 그 당시에 제가 자신 있거나, 제 라이프스타일, 그 일이 제 건강과 피트니스에 미치는 영향, 제 남자친구들의 의견 등등이 종합되어서 정해졌어요. 이 일을 시작할 당시에 멘토가 있었나요? 막 일을 시작하는 킹크/페티쉬 워커들이 멘토링을 받는게 중요하다고 생각하나요? 처음에 저는 견습 기간을 거쳤어요. 또 저와 친해졌던 ‘

미스트리스’에게 멘토링도 받았고요. 제 생각에는 어떤 일이든지 그 일이 정확성과 전문성을 필요로 한다면 반드시 연습에 연습을 거듭해 익숙해져야 한다고 생각해요. 다양한 체형의 사람들과 다양한 상황들에 대해 적절한 반응을 할 수 있도록 일에 익숙해 지는 것이 중요하지요. 자기 자신과 비슷한 서비스를 제공하는 다른 워커들이 있는 단체에서 일을 하는 것은 자기 계발에도 중요하고 어떠한 상황에 대처하지 못할 때 다른 워커들의 도움을 받을 수도 있어요. 도미나트릭스는 부담감이 심한 환경에서 일을 합니다. 그런 환경에서 다른 사람들의 도움을 받는 것은 신체적 정신적으로 중요해요. 그래서 네, 멘토링은 모두에게 유익하다고 말할 수 있겠네요. 킹크 노동자로서 일한다고 하면 화려하고 혁신적으로 들리는데, 그렇다면 성 노동자가 아닌 사람이

떠올릴 수 없는 킹크 노동자의 보통의 일이 있을까요? 청소! 청소하고, 또 청소하죠. 사실 일 자체보다 청소에 더 시간이 오래 걸릴 때도 있어요. 하하, 말이 되네요! 그렇다면 킹크와 페티시 성 노동자가 되기 위해 필요한 조건 같은 것이 있을까요? 예를 들면 피트니스나 근력 말이죠. 사실 페티시 하우스는 피트니스나 근력을 성 노동자들에게 기대하지는 않습니다. 중요한 것은 지시 사항을 듣고 따르며, 손님들과 자기 자신의 심리적 경계선을 존중할 수 있어야 한다는 거에요. 킹크와 페티시 성 노동자들은 손님들과 신체적으로나 심리적으로나 친밀한 관계를 맺는 다는 점에서 공감 능력이나, 마음에서 우러나는 동정, 그리고 가끔은 단호함과 강한 정신을 가지는 것이 중요해요.

킹크 성 산업에서 일하는 것이 제 성격에 영향을 미쳤다는 것은 의심할 여지가 없어요. 일을 시작하기 전에도 저는 항상 바이섹슈얼( 양성애자)이었고 구속 받지 않는 연애를 했었지만 한번도 노예나 섭, 추종자를 가져본 적은 없습니다. 이 직업으로 인해 더 높은 수준의 다자 연애를 한다는 것은 정말 새로운 경험이었어요. 저는 이 일을 하면서 저의 신체적인 이미지가 고양되기도 하고 동시에 추락하기도 했다는 걸 깨달았습니다. 예를 들어, 손님들이나 동료들이 저의 창의성이나 외모에 대해 칭찬 할 때는 신체 이미지가

고양되지만, 제가 저 자신을 다른 동료들의 몸이나 근육량, 그들의 다양한 재능에 대해 비교할 때는 추락하지요. 또 손님들이 저보다 다른 킹크 노동자들을 선택할 때 그걸 개인적으로 받아들이지 않는 것도 힘들어요(다른 성 노동자들도 다들 한번 이런 경험이 있으리라 확신합니다). 맞아요, 그런 경험은 정신적으로 힘들어요. 그렇지만 반드시 겪고 넘어가야 할 일이지요. 혹시 유난히 힘든 세션이나 예약 뒤 당신이 어떻게 스트레스를 푸는지 물어봐도 될까요? 동료들과 무슨 일이 있었는지 얘기하는 것은 여러 방면에서 도움이 됩니다. 첫번째로, 동료들에게 나에게 무슨 일이 있었는지를 알려 그들이 비슷한 상황에 있을 때 어떻게 대처할 수 있는지 준비하게 하는 거에요. 제가

심리적으로 불편한 상황이 생기거나, 제가 아무리 노력해도 고객이 만족하지 못할 때 동료들로부터 지원을 받는 것은 중요하지요. 집으로 가는 긴 길을 운전하는 것도 스트레스 해소에 도움이 됩니다. 그러면 고객들이 자주 하는 행동들 중에 제발 그만했으면 하는 것이 있나요? 저는 손님들이 가격을 깎으려고 들면서 “전 무직이에요” “ 전 학생이에요” 라고 하는 걸 그만했으면 좋겠어요. 우리는 고급 서비스이지 모두에게 필요한 것이 아닙니다. 그렇지만 우리가 고객을 보조하듯이 우리도 고객에게 메디케어나 보험을 청구할 수 있도록 해야하지 않을까요. 아, 혹시 사회가 킹크와 페티시 성 노동자들에 대해 더 이해했으면 하는 점이 있나요? 다른 사람들에게 고통을 주고 싶어 하는 사람들은 사이코패스나 소시오패스들이 아닙니다. 우리는 다른 사람들이 필요로 하는 것을 채워주는 사람들이고 다른 사람들의 판타지를 충족시키기 위해 우리 자신이 심리적으로 불편해지는 걸 감수하기도 합니다. 킹크와 페티시 성 노동자가 되고 싶어하는 사람들을 위해서 세가지 정도 충고를 해줄 수 있을까요? 1.사람 몸에서 나오는 많은 체액들을 감수할 준비를 하세요. 2.언제 어디서나 당신이 불편하다면 아니오라고 말해도 된다는 걸 기억하세요. 3.자연스럽게 즐기세요. 즐길 수 없다면, 이 일은 당신을 위한 것이 아닙니다. 킹크 전문가가 되기 위해 필요한 기본적인 장비들은 무엇이 있을까요? 제 생각에 ‘전형적인’ 장비들은, 속박 기구, 체벌 도구, 코스튬, 가짜 페니스와 고환, 청소 도구들이 있겠네요. 마지막으로, 당신이 지금 이 세상 전체에 방송되는 마이크를 잡고 있다면 무슨 말을 할 건가요? 인생은 한 번뿐인데 왜 지금 당장 하지 않나요.



정서적 경계선을 존중하고, 잘 들어주고, 공감하고, 동정하는 것이것들은 어느 직업군에서나 환영 받을 만한 요소들로 보이는데요. 이 직업군에서 일하는 것이 당신이 자기 자신을 바라보는 방식이나 당신의 성적 정체성에 영향을 미쳤나요?

SOPHIE 어린 싱글맘이자 성 노동자 대명사: SHE/HER

저와 성 산업과의 관계를 한 단어로 정의 한다면 ‘재다’ 일겁니다. 저는 항상 성 산업에 한쪽 발은 넣고 다른 쪽 발은 바깥 세상에 두었지요. 네 저는 성 노동자이자, 엄마입니다. 또한 교육받은 사람이며, 누군가의 자매이자 딸, 연인이며 친구이지요. 성 노동자인 것을 ‘아웃팅’ 당할 까 두려워 이 글을 쓰기가 힘드네요(이 글이 익명이라도 말이지요). 저는 아직도 다른 사람들의 시선 때문에 고전하고 있어요. 저는 제 자신이 성 산업에서 일하는 것이 자랑스럽고 또 제 결정에 대해 더 확신을 가져야 한다는 걸 알지만 (죄의식이나 수치심 없이요) 다른 사람들도 제 의견에 동의할 것이라고 생각할 만큼 순진하지는 않습니다. 사람들은 모두 각자의 다양한 의견을 가지고 있고. 남들과 언쟁을 하는 것 보다는 제 일을 비밀에 부치는 게 더 좋은 방법이라 생각합니다. 3년 전쯤에, 실망스러운 원나잇 스탠드들, 연인들, 그리고 불행히도 폭행을 당한 이후 저는 저 자신을 돌보고 다시 힘을 찾을 수 있는 여정이 필요했습니다. 제가 그 당시에 몰랐던 것은 성 노동이 얼마나 내 수치심을 없애줄 수 있는지, 또 성적으로 자유로워 지는 것에 도움을 줄 수 있는가 였지요. 이 사회가 성 노동자들을 멸시하고 우리가 구원받아야 한다는 편견들을 뒤로 하고 성 산업이 성 노동자들에게 미치는 치유적인 면을 이해할 수 있었으면 좋았을 텐데요. 지금 와서 생각해보면, 과거의 저는 언제나 성 산업에 흥미가 있었습니다. 저는 제 스스로 규칙을 정하며 일하는 것과 사회적 규범에서 벗어나는 것을 좋아했어요. 또한 인간의 가장 취약하고 은밀한 부분을 본다는 것은 선물 같은 일이라고 생각했지요. 돌봄을 받으려 마음을 여는 것은 정말 힘 있는 일이고 신체적인 접촉이 얼마나 크게 사람을 치유해줄 수 있는지 저는 진정으로 이해하게 되었습니다. 성 산업은 저에게 자매가 되어주기도 하고, 피난처가 되기도 했으며 마음의 안정을 주는 담요 같은 역할도 해주었습니다. 돈이 없어 힘든 시기를 보낸 저에게 경제적인 안정을 주기도 했지요. 저 자신에 대해서 너무나 많이 배웠으며 또 이 산업에서 만난 다양한 여성들(


남성들도)을 통해 내가 어떤 사람이 되고 싶은 지도 알게 되었어요. 제가 막 성 노동을 시작했을 때 제 아이는 두 살이었고 이 업계에서 일함으로 인해 저는 제 아이와 더 많은 시간을 보낼 수 있었어요. 그건 무엇과도 바꿀 수 없는 귀중한 경험이었습니다. 마냥 좋지만은 않았던 시기도 있었습니다. 모든 직업이 그렇듯이 말이지요. 사회는 어떤 업종이든지 일이 당신의 정신적 신체적인 건강을 해칠 수 있다는 것을 무시하는 경향이 있습니다. 돈이 잘 안 벌리는 날들, 불안정함, 비밀과 알리바이들, 아웃팅 될까 하는 걱정, 못된 고객들 (이건 누구든지 익숙해 질 수 없지요!) 이 모든 것들이 제가 옳은 직업을 선택한 건지 의문을 가지게 만들었어요. 저는 그런 힘든 일들 속에서 교훈을 찾는 법을 배웠습니다. 그 경험들은 제가 제 심리적인 방어선을 다시 구축하게 도와주었어요. 저의 존엄성을 제 스스로 존중할 수 있게 도와주었던 귀중한 경험이었죠. 저는 자기 자식들에게 자신이 성 노동자인 것을 말해주는 부모들에게 엄청난 존경심을 가지고 있어요. 그 사실을 자식에게 알림으로써 다음 세대들이 성 노동에 대해 더 나은 지식과 공감, 더 열린 마음을 가질 수 있기 때문이지요. 부모가 자기 자신에 대해 그런 확신을 가지고 있다면 자식들은 이 불안한 세상을 어떤 강한 자존감을 가지고 살아야 하는지를 알게 될 거에요. 저는 제 직업으로 인해 저의 어린 아이가(가족사를 남들에게 공유하는 걸 부끄러워하지 않는 아이에요!) 또래 아이들에게 따돌림을 당할까 걱정이 됩니다. 아마 아이가 좀 크면 세상이 바뀔 수도 있겠지만 지금 당장으로는 아이에게 성교육을 하는 것 만으로 충분하다고 생각합니다. 싱글맘으로써 성 산업에서 일하는 것이 저 혼자만은 아닙니다. 저는 인내심을 가진 강한 다른 엄마들에게서 육아 조언을 많이 받았어요. 저는 그들이 성 산업에서의 경험으로 인해 더 좋은 부모가 될 수 있었다는 것을 확신합니다. 저로 말할 것 같으면, 매일 일이 끝나고 나서 자고 있는 저의 아이를 안고서는 다음달 청구서 납부에 대해 걱정하지 않아도 되는 것이 얼마나 감사한 일인지 깨달을 때, 제가 다음날 일어나 일을 가지 않고 이 아이의 마법 같은 세계에 완전히 빠져들어도 된다는 것을 알 때 저의 직업 선택이 옳았다는 것을 확신합니다. 성 노동자들에 대한 어떠한 낡고 고리타분한 편견도 저의 이런 행복을 가져갈 수는 없어요!



MELINAH VIKING 캠 퍼포머이자 킹크 성 노동자 대명사: SHE/HER

혹시 당신의 자랑스럽거나 기뻤던 순간을 공유하는 걸로 시작해도 될까요? 저의 가장 자랑스러웠던 순간은 유명한 감독이 저를 단편 영화의 소재로 선택했을 때 였어요. 그 단편 영화는 상영도 많이 했을 뿐더러 국제적인 상도 여러 번 탔습니다. 저는 국제적인 상을 탄 캠 퍼포머와 이렇게 이야기를 하고 있는 거네요! 굉장합니다. 당신과 성 산업과의 관계를 조금 더 이야기해줄수 있나요? 성 산업이 당신에게 어떤 의미인지도요? 저에게 성 산업이란 다양성을 의미합니다. 또한 성 산업은 모든 사람을 위한 한 사람이 존재한다는 것이 진실이라는 걸 알려줬어요. 제가 이 산업에 몸 담았던 이유가 시간이 지나며 계속 변화하기는 했어도 절대적인 단 하나의 이유는 제가 제 자신을 자유롭게 표현할 수 있다는 것입니다. 그것은 물리적인 제약을 떠나 제가 되고 싶은 사람이 될 수 있다는 기회이기도 하지요.

제가 다른 장소에서 캠 퍼포머처럼 행동한다면 제약을 많이 받을 겁니다. 제가 매일 일상에서 겪어야 하는 일들과 각종 제약을 날려버릴 수 있다는 걸 공유하는 건 굉장한 일이에요! 제가 제 일에서 원하는 건 다른 사람들에게 기쁨을 주고 사람들의 관계가 좋아지게 돕는 것뿐만 아니라, 긍정적인 방향으로 제 일을 변호하고, 사람들을 교육시키며 우리에게 찍힌 낙인을 지우는 거에요. 성적 정체성과 성욕은 인간의 기본적인 권리입니다! 성별, 신체조건, 인종, 종교, 출신 등등 모든 걸 떠나서 말이에요. 맞는 말입니다! 장애인을 향한 성적 낙인을 생각하면 가슴이 아프지요. 이것 또한 당신이 사적으로 대항해 온 일인가요? 네 장애인을 향한 성적 낙인은 진실로 존재합니다. 저에게도 영향을 미쳤고요. 저 개인적으로는 세가지 다른 경험을 했는데, 1.장애인의 성욕을 둘러싼 일반적인 낙인이 있습니다. 2020년 현재에도 125

장애인은 성욕이 없고 혹은 성욕을 가져서도 안된다는 인식이 우세합니다. 종종 사람들은 성욕은 그다지 삶에 중요한 부분이 아니며, 그 욕구를 채우기 위해 “위험을 감수”하거나 노력할 가치가 없다고 생각하고, 정서적, 신체적, 법적인 결과를 고려해야 한다고 합니다. 또 잘못된 편견을 가지고 있어 제대로 자신의 욕구를 이해하지 못하는 잠재 고객들도 있지요. 제가 종종 말하지만, 만남을 시도하는 건 노력이 따르는 일이지만 그게 재미의 반이지 않나요? 모든 걸 떠나서 성관계는 창의적이어야 합니다. 장애가 있든 없든요. 당신이 뭘 좋아하는지 깨닫고 또 그 재미를 계속 찾을 수 있게 노력하는 거에요! 2.성 노동 자체를 향한 낙인 – “성 노동은 진짜 노동이 아니다” “신이 허락하지 않는다” “그냥 잘못되었다” “ 기술이 필요 없고 그냥 돈이 절박해서 하는 일이다” “성 노동자들은 구출되어야 한다” 이런 말들은 우리가 기회만 있었다면, 다른 일을 할 수단이 있었다면 이런 끔찍한 노동을 하지 않아도 된다고 된다고 합니다. 헛소리에요!! 매춘은 가장 오래되고,

기술적으로 숙련된 직업이에요! 3.장애인이자 성 산업에서 일하는 노동자들에 대한 낙인. 장애가 있는 사람들은 자신의 몸과 성 정체성에 대해 제대로 된 결정을 내리지 못해서 남들에게 조종당하고 착취당해 성 노동을 선택한다는 편견. 장애인 성 노동자들을 향한 “너는 구출되어야 해” 라는 반응은 특히나 심합니다. 심지어 전직 혹은 현직 성 노동자들도 “누가 너한테 이런 일을 시켰어?” 라는 반응을 보입니다. 이 업계에 대해 몸담고 있었던 사람들인데도 말이지요. 저와 같이 일하는 사람들을 두고 저 “불쌍한 장애인”을 착취하고 있겠구나 라고 생각하며 제가 제 일에 대해 제대로 된 이해나 동의를 못하고 있다고 판단하지요. 이 업계 종사자들 중에도 저에게 친한 척 하지만 자기가 우위에 있다는 듯이 “어머 여기서 너 보니까 좋다! 네가 올 줄 몰랐는 데” 라고 하거나 “너 이거 안해도 돼. 너 계약되어 있고 네 이름도 올라가 있지만 네가 이거 못해도 우리는 이해할거야.” 라고 합니다. 이런 소리를 들으면 자신감이 떨어질 뿐만 아니라 다시 일하러 가기도 심적으로 힘들어져요. 이런 일들은 지금 현재에도 일어나는 일이고 저는 제 자신의 인권과 제 선택을 존중받기

위해 싸우고 있습니다. 저는 다른 사람들과 똑같이 제 성 정체성을 표현할 권리가 있습니다. 저는 항상 제가 법적으로나 정신적으로 성인이고 제 인지 능력에는 아무 문제가 없다는 걸 계속해서 주장해야 합니다. 제가 어떤 일을 결정하는 과정에는 어떠한 정신적인 장애물도 없어요. 이런 건 제가 증명하지 않아도 되는 것인데 그래도 저는 매일매일 해야하지요. 그런 ‘넌 보호가 필요할거야’라는 인식을 깨부수는 것이나 이 산업 내 에서 일어나는 은근한 폭력을 당하는 것은 정말 정신적으로 부담이겠어요. 혹시 당신 인생의 다른 부분들, 가족이나 친구, 연인 아니면 도우미들에 대해서 어떻게 생각하는 지 물어봐도 될까요? 저는 보조 인력 혹은 도우미들과 상상할 수 있는 모든 문제를 겪었어요. 그들은 심리적으로 불편해 할 뿐만 아니라 아예 보조를 하고 싶지 않아 하기도 해요. 슬프게도 몇몇 도우미 에이전시들은 당신이 성 노동자 라는 것을 알게 되면 아예 당신을 받지 않거나 이미 있던 도우미들을 그만두게도 하지요. 제일 중요한 것은 성 노동이 진짜 직업이라는

것을 인지하고 당신의 비밀을 누설하지 않을 에이전시를 찾는 것입니다. 그런 에이전시들은 찾기가 어렵기는 해도 분명히 존재합니다. 에이전시가 도우미들에게 분명하게 “성 노동자들은 나쁜 일을 하는게 아닙니다” 라는 것을 알려준다면 도우미들이 당신을 도와줄 때 (예약을 위해 옷을 갈아 입거나, 예약 장소로 태워다 줄 때 등등) 더 심리적으로 안전함을 느끼게 됩니다. 그럼에도 불구하고 성 노동이 도덕적으로 잘못되었다는 개인의 믿음 때문에 보조를 거부하는 도우미는 항상 있어요. 그러나 상관없습니다. 그 사람들은 그냥 우리 말고 다른 사람과 일하면 되니까요. 가족과 친구들과 연인들은 제가 장애가 있건 없건 성 노동에 대해서 반응이 똑같습니다. 저는 그 문제에 대해서 장애가 없는 다른 성 노동자들과 같은 상황을 겪어요. 가족과 친구들, 연인의 반응에 대해서는 잘 알겠습니다. 혹시 부정적인 면 말고도 성 노동이 당신이 삶을 긍정적으로 변화시켰다고 생각하나요? 아, 그럼요. 저의 커진 자신감과 인내심은 저를 더 나은 사람으로


장애가 있다고 해서 제 인생의 결정을 제가 못 내리는 것이 아닙니다. 만들었어요! 성 노동을 시작하기 전의 저는 소심하고 그저 아무 것에나 다 동의하는 사람이었어요. 성 산업은 저에게 제가 제 자신을 위해 다른 사람에게 맞서도 된다는 것을 가르쳐 주었습니다. 고객들이 저를 거절할 때 다시 정신적으로 회복하는 것도 배웠고요. 심지어 제가 제 자신이 그리 강하지 않다고 생각했을 때 말이지요. 저는 제가 어릴 때는 도무지 할 수 없을 것이라고 생각했던 것들을 해왔고 또 갈 수 없을 거라고 생각했던 장소들을 가봤답니다. 당신의 자신감과 인내심이 시간이 지남에 따라 빛이 났다는 말은 정말 멋지네요! 얘기가 나온 김에, 혹시 성욕에 대해 소통하는 걸 부끄러워하거나 자신 없어 하는 다른 장애인들에게 조언을 해줄 수 있나요? 어려운 얘기네요. 장애인이 아닌 사람들은 이 문제에 대해서 혼자 극복하거나 아님 주변 사람과 같이 얘기해서 풀어나갈 수 있어요. 그러나 장애인들은 그런 사치를 누릴 수가 없지요. 장애인들은 에스코트 서비스를 예약하거나, 운전 기사를 부르거나 아니면 장애인에게 우호적인 성 서비스를 찾기 위해 물리적인 보조를 받아야 할 수도 있습니다. 이런 문제를 이해하지

못하는 사람들과 불편한 대화를 해야 하고요. 그 사람들은 편견과 편향된 의견을 가지고 당신을 판단하며 심지어 당신이 무엇이 필요한 지 이해를 하지 못할 수도 있어요. 슬프게도 이건 도우미 에이전시들의 정책에 달렸고 그들은 당신이 성욕에 대해서 말하는 걸 진지하게 받아들이지 않을 수도 있습니다. 몇몇 장애인 보조 에이전시들은 종교를 기반으로 하거나, 혹은 대중의 시선을 신경 써서 이런 문제에 너무 몸을 사려요. 남들이 자신을 부정적으로 판단하는 것에 익숙해져야 합니다. 이런 상황에 직면하고 반응하는 것은 지극히 사적인 문제입니다. 그러니 본인을 믿을만한 사람을 찾아 본인을 대변하게 하세요. 그렇다면 좀 더 나아가서, 성 노동을 시작하고 싶어 하는 장애인들에게 해주고 싶은 충고가 있나요? 제일 중요한 것은 조사를 열심히 하라는 것입니다. 당신이 장애인으로써 성 산업에서 겪을 장애물들을 넘어설 수 있을 지 아니면 패배하게 될 지 결정하세요. 소셜 미디어를 떠날 생각을 하시고, 당신과 주변 사람에게 성 노동이 미칠 영향을 고려하세요. 사람들은 그저 이 업계가 화려하다고만 생각할지 모르나 성 노동은 실제 직업입니다. 성 노동은 127

일의 대안이 아니고 또 쉽게 벌리는 돈도 아니에요. 당신이 이걸 진짜 원하는 지 생각해보고 맞다면 밀고 나가세요. 이 업계에서 당신의 인권을 위해, 심지어는 당신의 존재 자체를 증명하기 위해 싸울 준비가 되어야 해요. 당신이 도전을 좋아하는 사람이라면 이 일은 단점보다 장점이 더 많을 것입니다. 당신이 다른 사람을 상처 주지 않는 한에서 진정한 당신 자신이 되세요. 진실되게 행동하세요. 사람들이 장애인 성 노동자들을 보는 시선을 좋은 방법으로 변화시킬 수 있는 방법이 있다면 뭘까요? 장애인 성 노동자들에 대해 여러분 자신과 다른 사람들을 교육하세요. 열린 마음으로 조사하세요. 우리의 이야기를 들어주세요. 제가 한마디 하자면, 장애가 저를 2등 인간으로 만드는 것은 아닙니다. 저는 다른 사람들과 똑같은 욕구와 소망을 가지고 있어요. 장애가 있다고 무성인 것은 아닙니다. 제 인지 능력에 문제가 있다는 말도 아니고요. 장애가 있다고 해서 제 인생의 결정을 제가 못 내리는 것이 아닙니다. 여러분이 이 점을 이해한다면, 다른 사람들도 이걸 이해하게 도와주세요.


Scarlet Alliance Australian Sex Workers Assn, PO Box 854, Newtown, NSW 2042 203/1 Erskineville Road, Newtown, NSW 2042 (02) 9517 2577 0411 985 135 Red Files PO Box 2031, Fitzroy 3065 0416 680 891

United Sex Workers North QLD (07) 4724 4853 Respect Inc Brisbane Office 28 Mein Street, Spring Hill QLD 4000 (07) 3835 1111 Respect Inc Townsville Office 118a Charters Towers Road, Hermit Park QLD 4812 (07) 4724 4853 Respect Inc Cairns Office 7/24 Florence Street, Cairns QLD 4870


SWOP (ACT) Havelock House 85 Northbourne Ave Turner ACT 2612 (02) 6247 3443

SA SIN 220 South Road Mile End SA 5031 08) 8351 7626




SWOP NSW Outreach Project Level 4, 414 Elizabeth St Surry Hills NSW PO Box 1354 Strawberry Hills 2012 (02) 9206 2166 SWOP Hunter C/- ACON Hunter 129 Maitland Road PO Box 220 Islington NSW 2296 SWOP Illawarra C/- ACON Wollongong 47 Kenny St PO Box 1073 Wollongong 2500 SWALLOW 0425 716 744

NORTHERN TERRITORY NT Aids Council GPO BOX 2826 Alice Springs NT 0871 (08) 8953 3172 1800 624 794

SWOP NT, Main office 46 Woods St, Darwin NT 0801 GPO Box 2826 Darwin NT 0801 (08) 8944 7777

Centralian office 14 Railway Terrace, Alice Springs 0870 GPO Box 2461, Alice Springs 0870 (08) 8953 3172


Crimson Coalition 0421 569 232

(08) 9328 1387 PO Box 8054 Perth Business Centre WA 6849 SWEAR WA Sex Work Education Advocacy and Rights

NEW ZEALAND PROSTITUTES COLLECTIVE AUCKLAND Unit 3, 2 Canada St Newton 1145, Auckland (09) 366 6106

CHRISTCHURCH 157 Waltham Rd (03) 365 2595

Sexual Health Services Hobart, Launceston, Burnie & Devonport Freecall 1800 675 859


Women’s Health Centre 25 Lefroy Street North Hobart TAS 7000 (03) 6231 3212 Freecall 1800 353 212

202 Willis Street (04) 382 8791

Scarlet Alliance Tasmanian Sex Worker Project 319 Liverpool St Hobart (03) 6169 9437 Outreach: 0411 987 417 Coordinator: 0451 835 897


RhED 18 Mitford st, St Kilda 3182 Free Call 1800 458 752 VIXEN COLLECTIVE (Victoria’s peer-only sex worker organisation) Melbourne Flinders Lane, PO Box 525 Flinders Lane, VIC 8009 0414 275 959 Sex Work Law Reform PO Box 3071, South Melbourne VIC 3205

WESTERN AUSTRALIA Magenta 170 Aberdeen Street Northbridge

167 Rattray Street,Dunedin (03) 477 6988


FAMILY VIOLENCE & SEXUAL ASSAULT 1800 RESPECT National Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence Counselling Service Freecall 1800 737 732 Domestic Violence Resource Centre VIC (03) 9486 9866 Centres Against Sexual Assault Freecall 1800 806 292 Intouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence (03) 8413 6800 Freecall 1800 755 988. Safe Steps 24/7 Family Violence Response Freecall 1800 015 188

HEALTH Action Centre 91 Elizabeth Street Melbourne 3000 Tel (03) 9654 4766 Freecall 1800 013 952

Albury Dental and Community Health Centre 596 Smollett St PO Box 503 Albury, NSW 2640 (02) 6581 800 Barkly St Medical Centre 60 Barkly St St Kilda 3182 (03) 9534 0531 Barwon Health Geelong Hospital Level 3, Cnr Ryrie & Bellerine Sts Geelong 3220 (03) 5226 7254 Walk-in service Tuesdays 2pm–8pm Country Health Clinics Ballarat (03) 5838 4500 Bendigo (03) 5446 8800 Dareton NSW (03) 5021 7200 Geelong (03) 5226 4915 Traralgon (03) 5173 8000 Wodonga (03) 6056 1589 DANDENONG Rosie (Sexual Health Nurse) Available Tuesdays L2/122 Thomas St, Dandenong (03) 9792 7630 Family Planning Victoria 901 Whitehorse Road, Box Hill, VIC 03 9257 0100 Freecall 1800 013 952 Clinic hours: Mon-Fri 9am-5pm (Appointments 9am-12pm Drop-in 1pm-5pm Family Planning VIctoria Action Centre L1/94 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne (03) 9660 4700 Freecall 1800 013 952 Clinic hours: Mon-Fri 10am-6pm Drop-in 11am-6pm Star Health GP Service 341 Coventry St, South Melbourne 240 Malvern Rd, Prahran (03) 9525 1300 Harm Reduction Victoria (03) 9329 1500 Healthworks (Co-Health) 4-12 Buckley St Footscray 3011 Tel (03) 9362 8100 Hepatitis C Hotline (03) 9349 1111 Country Freecall 1800 800 241 TTY for hearing impaired callers 1800 032 665 Medical One QV L3/23 QV Terrace 292 Swanston St Melbourne 3000 (03) 8663 7000 Melbourne Sexual Health Centre 580 Swanston St, Carlton 3053 (03) 9341 6200

These services have expressed interest in working with sex workers. Their listing should not be interpreted as RhED’s endorsement of these services.

Want to be included? Email: Northside Clinic 370 St Georges Road Fitzroy North (03) 9485 7700 Thorne Harbour Health (formally VAC) 6 Claremont St South Yarra 3141 (03) 9865 6700 Freecall 1800 134 840 Victorian Aboriginal Health Service 186 Nicholson St Fitzroy 3065 (03) 9419 3000 Open Mon-Thur 8.30am-4pm Friday 8.30am-3pm

LGBTIQA+ SUPPORT Equinox Gender Diverse Health Service Trans gender support section 72 Rose Street Fitzroy VIC 3065 (03) 9416 2889 Transgender Victoria (TGV) PO Box 762 South Melbourne VIC (03) 9517 6613 (leave a message) Queerspace 100 Drummond st, Carlton (03) 9663 6733 Q Health Alcohol & Drug Counselling & Support Services (03) 9355 9900 Switchboard 1800 184 527 3pm -12am daily Zoe Belle Gender Centre Hares and Hyenas 63 Johnston St, Fitzroy (03) 9495 6589

WOMEN’S SERVICES Positive Women Suite 1/111 Coventry St Southbank (03) 9863 8747 WIRE (Women’s Information & Referrals) (03) 9206 0878 1300 134 130 Women’s Health Info Centre 1300 134 130

CENTRELINK Customer Relations: 1800 050 004 TTY: 1800 810 586 International Services: 131 673 Make an appointment: 131 021

ACCOMODATION Housing Crisis Support 1800 825 955 – 24hr

Melbourne Youth Support (03) 9614 3688 Frontyard Youth Service 19 King St, Melbourne (03) 9977 0077

Tenants Union of Victoria Tenants help line (03) 9416 2577

FREE CONDOMS & NSP Living Room Central Business District Freecall 1800 700 102 Healthworks Footscray (03) 9362 8100 Innerspace Melb Inner City Needle & Syringe Program Next Door 4 Johnston St Collingwood VIC Tel (03) 9468 2800 Mobile Health Outreach Service (MhOS) 0419 204 811 Salvation Army St Kilda NSP Health Information and Exchange 29 Grey St, St Kilda 3182 Freecall 1800 627 727 South Gippsland Alcohol & Drug Service Leongatha Hospital 10 Koonwarra Road Tel (03) 5667 5555

Star Health 22-28 Fitzroy St, St Kilda 240 Malvern Rd, Prahran 341 Coventry St, South Melbourne Freecall 1800 458 752 Federation of Community Legal Centres Victoria LEGAL (03) 9652 1500 For free legal advice & assistance St Kilda Legal Service (03) 8598 6609 0401 095 261 Lawyer will see clients at outreach locations and may provide court representation Firzroy Legal Service

Women’s Legal Service (03) 9642 0877

INDUSTRY-RELATED Dept of Employment, Workplace Relations & Small Business 1300 363 264

Market Engagement Division Sexwork Hotline 1300 764 671

VIC Equal Opportunity & Human Rights Commission Discrimination Complaints: 1300 891 848 Enquiry Line: 1300 292 153 Fair Work Ombudsman 13 28 46 GST Hotline 13 61 40 Job Watch Info Service Line 03 9662 1933 Taxation Department 13 28 66 Wageline 1300 363 264 SICU Sex Industry Co-ordination Unit (03) 9628 7191 Social Security Rights VIC INC PO Box 30, Abbotsford, VIC 3067

ONLINE Disability


Sex Industry Related Sites Sweet Release Agency 1 Queens rd, South Melbourne (03) 9069 9320

MULTICULTURAL / MIGRANT SUPPORT Multicultural Centre for Women’s Health Suite 207, L2 Carringbush Building 132 Cambridge Street Collingwood (03) 9418 0999

Multicultural Health & Support Service 23 Lennox Street Richmond VIC 3121 (03) 9418 9929 VITS Language Link Automated Telephone Interpreting Services (03) 9280 1907

SUPPLIERS TO THE INDUSTRY Adult House Management System Booking system for brothels (03) 9028 2333 0430 901 023 Appetence Safe sex supplies, adult toys Crown Posture Bedding (03) 9544 8444 0418 518 687 Dekes Supplies PTY LTD Safe sex supplies, cleaning products Ricky: 0411 120 362 Jeremy: 0458 800 200 Four Seasons Condoms and safer sex supplies (02) 8759 7304 0421 769 052 Metro Cleaning Supplies Laundry cleaning & professional products Freecall 1800 890 913 Photographer Alexa 0433 155 307 SafeT Card 0438 383 800 Sax Health Care Safe sex supplies 0414 744 705 customerservice@saxhealthcare. Stabilise-Empowering Sexuality Adult sex toys and products. 0438 531 311 Superchem Australia Cleaning products (03) 9354 2955

OWNERS INDUSTRY SUPPORT W Albon Australian Adult Entertainment Industry (AAEI) PO Box 7076 St Kilda Rd, Melbourne 0418 395 633 EROS The Eros Association: national industry association providing services and advocacy to adultsonly businesses. (03) 9670 7345

These services have expressed interest in working with sex workers. Their listing should not be interpreted as RhED’s endorsement of these services.


Bondage & discipline services Relaxation services only 39 Tope 39 Tope Street STH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9645 0206 SWA 4650BE 69 Relaxation 169a Malop Street GEELONG 3220 (03) 5229 1335 SWA 8076BE 26 Hocking Street 26 Hocking Street NORTH COBURG 3058 (03) 9350 7544 SWA 944BE

Apollo 45

45 Apollo Drive SHEPPARTON 3630 (03) 5831 4545 SWA 3927BE Bambra Studio 977 Glen Huntly Road CAULFIELD 3162 (03) 9563 6221 SWA 5944B Bayside Babes 6 Hamlet St CHELTENHAM 3192 (03) 9584 6598 SWA 6414B The Bignell 6 Bignell Road MOORABBIN SOUTH 3186 (03) 9553 0192 SWA 100BE Black Opal 12 Dandenong Street DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9792 3008 SWA 194BE Blue Krystal 16 Greens Road DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9708 5555 SWA 3420BE The Boardroom 53 Market St STH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9699 1711 SWA 395BE

Bodyline 10 Thomas St, YARRAVILLE 3013 (03) 9314 6551 SWA 126BE Butterfly’s 11 King Street BLACKBURN 3130 (03) 9878 0085 SWA 5415B California Club 30a St Kilda Road ST KILDA 3182 (03) 9529 4727 SWA 3430BE Candy Club 392 Victoria Street RICHMOND 3121 (03) 9428 5077 SWA 3276BE Cherry Blossoms 7 Park Street STH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 8596 2719 SWA 492B The Cherry Tree Garden 18 Albemarle Street WILLIAMSTOWN 3016 (03) 8383 3271 SWA 10707B Club 741 741 Geelong Road BROOKLYN 3012 (03) 9314 4242 SWA 6259BE Club 859 859 Glenhuntly Road CAULFIELD SOUTH 3162 (03) 9523 8555 SWA 154B Club Eight 8 Yiannis Court SPRINGVALE 3171 (03) 9574 1666 SWA 6727B Club Hallam 7 Rimfire Drive HALLAM 3803 (03) 9702 4744 SWA 7687B Club Keys 67 Keys Road MOORABBIN 3189 (03) 9555 8100 SWA 533B Club Pleasure formerly NtClub (Naughty Times)

For further info on brothels phone RhED: 1800 458 752

1309 North Road HUNTINGDALE (03) 9544 44433 Ladies, Trans. Fetish, Mistress’s SWA 5230B Collingwood Confidential 59-63 Rupert Street COLLINGWOOD 3066 (03) 9417 6004 SWA 7528BE Crystal Lodge 61 Trade Place COBURG 3058 (03) 9350 3333 SWA 221BE Dandy Belles 15-17 Maxwell St DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9792 0166 SWA 3702BE The Duchess 7-9 Duke Street ABBOTSFORD 3067 (03) 9428 8668 SWA 6679B Fantasy Dreams 10 Graham Road CLAYTON 3168 (03) 9546 6444 SWA 6336B Far Eastern Relaxation 77 Racecourse Road NORTH MELBOURNE 3051 (03) 9326 8388 SWA 6143B Fetish House 1 Edinburgh Street OAKLEIGH SOUTH 3167 (03) 9544 8384 SWA 4228BE Flame Angels 895 Mountain Hwy BAYSWATER 3153 (03) 9720 4044 SWA 3466B The Forum 20 Norton Drive MELTON 3337 (03) 9746 8922 SWA 907 6BE Garden of Eden 2 Centre Kirkham Road DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9792 4411 SWA 8810BE Gentle Moments 15A Cumberland Drive Seaford, 3198

(03) 8759 6693 SWA 7510B Gotham City 72-74 Clarke St STH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9699 9269 SWA 878BE Hocking Ladies 20 Hocking Street COBURG NORTH 3058 (03) 9943 0252 SWA 9950B Hot Gossip 42-44 Cromer Ave SUNSHINE 3020 (03) 9366 6444 SWA 5832BE

Ji Li Golden Hands Relaxation Centre 482 Geelong Road WEST FOOTSCRAY 3012 (03) 9314 8294 SWA 83B Le Boudoir 81 Rokeby Street COLLINGWOOD 3066 (03) 9415 8055 SWA 488B Lorraine Starr 201 Malop Street GEELONG 3220 (03) 5229 9456 SWA 5338BE Main Course 58 Dudley Street WEST MELB 3003 (03) 9329 1000 SWA 3998BE Maison D’Amour 33 Graham Road CLAYTON SOUTH 3169 (03) 9547 0275 SWA115B Manhattan Terrace 554 Swanston Street CARLTON 3053 (03) 9347 6000 SWA 4281BE Masquerades 142 Bridge Road KEYSBOROUGH 3175 (03) 9798 8615 SWA8128BE SWA8127BE Melbourne Colosseum 45-47 Tope Street STH MELBOURNE 3205


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Want to be included? Email:

(03) 9696 9199 SWA 5109BE

THOMASTOWN 3074 (03) 9460 3388 SWA 551B

Moon Club 26 Rhur Street DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9793 5289 SWA 3337B

Paradise Angels 31 Wells Road SEAFORD 3198 (03) 9786 7222 SWA 7091BE

My Alibi 35A Northgate Drive THOMASTOWN 3074 (03) 9465 8899 SWA 7466B New Palace 31 Aster Avenue CARRUM DOWNS 3201 (03) 9775 0502 SWA 4177B The Number 1 1 Joel Court MOORABBIN 3186 (03) 9532 2666 SWA8925BE Number 100 100 Johnston Street COLLINGWOOD 3066 (03) 9416 0099 SWA 7801BE The Oasis of the North 94-96 Trawalla Avenue THOMASTOWN 3074 (03) 9359 9408 SWA 142B Octopuses 24 Buchanan Road, BROOKLYN 3025 (03) 9314 8800 SWA 5693BE Oriental Angels 15 George Street BLACKBURN 3130 (03) 9877 3123 SWA 6374B Oriental Orchids 23 Hume Street HUNTINGDALE 3166 (03) 9544 1589 SWA 4697BE Oriental Leisure Paradise 47 Glendale Ave HASTINGS 3915 (03) 5979 3066 SWA 3161XB Oriental Plums 38 Tuscan Court

Pink Velvet 32 Dunlop Road HOPPERS CROSSING 3030 (03) 9931 0171 SWA 12125XB Pleasure Dome 44 Gladstone Street SOUTH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9696 2222 SWA 458BE Pleasure Planets 43 Lipton Drive, THOMASTOWN 3074 (03) 9469 3223 SWA 4572B Presidential Suite 45 Keppler Circuit SEAFORD 3198 (03) 9775 0880 SWA 120BE Purple Garden 34 Warner Street HUNTINGDALE 3166 (03) 9563 2982 SWA 3671B SWA 7023B SWA 605B

Red Light Relaxation Centre 44A Winterton Road CLAYTON 3168 (03) 9543 8820 SWA 5531B Romantics 71-73 Colebrook Street BRUNSWICK 3056 (03) 9386 0206 SWA 818B

Studio 54 54 Swanston Street PRESTON 3072 (03) 9495 1881 SWA 5218B Studio 466 466 City Road STH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9696 4666 SWA 4215BE

Phoenix Relaxation 10 Fulton Street OAKLEIGH 3166 (03) 9543 5901 SWA 9493BE

Studio Honey’s 3 Fleet Street SOMERTON 3062 (03) 9308 6268 SWA 3336BE

Top 12 4/12 Mosrael Place ROWVILLE 3178 (03) 9764 2100 SWA 763B

Tender Touch 122 Dynon Road WEST MELBOURNE 3003 (03) 9376 2666 SWA 217BE

Scarlet Lady 4 Dummet Crescent CLIFTON HILL 3068 (03) 9489 2240 SWA 3518BE

Treasure Topes 43 Tope Street SOUTH MELBOURNE 3205 (03) 9023 3425 SWA 4968B

Secret Angels 444 0438 868 755 Traralgon, Victoria SWA 8424XBE

Top Of The Town 518 Flinders Street MELBOURNE, 3000 (03) 9614 1414 SWA 9625BE

Pussycats 3 Leslie Court BURWOOD 3125 (03) 9808 5855 SWA 7043BE

Show Me Fire 27 Fleet Street SOMERTON 3061 (03) 9305 3473 SWA 6072B

Pussy Galore 31 Lillimur Ave HEIDELBERG WEST 3081 (03) 8528 9732 SWA 9389B

Silk Lotus 32 Montefiore Street FAIRFIELD 3078 (03) 9482 3835 SWA 6413B

Rainbow Dolls 48 Davies Avenue SUNSHINE NORTH 3020 (03) 9364 0770 SWA 6568B

Southern Comfort 16 Citrus Street BRAESIDE 3195 (03) 9588 0743 southerncomfortinter SWA 4015BE

The Red Door 7 Heversham Drive SEAFORD 3198 (03) 9782 5866 SWA 590B Red Lantern 17 Nicole Way DANDENONG 3175 (03) 9793 2988

Ultimate Magic 623 Hawthorn Road EAST BRIGHTON 3187 (03) 9576 9100 SWA 618BE Ultimates of North Shore 4 Seaside Parade NTH SHORE GEELONG 3214 (03) 5278 6111 SWA 10486BE Venus Babes 41 Downard St, BRAESIDE, 3195 (03) 9580 5456 SWA 5231B

Spellbound 9 Darbyshire Street WILLIAMSTOWN 3016 (03) 9399 3345 SWA 5960BE

Westminster Secrets 38 Westminster Street OAKLEIGH 3166 (03) 9568 5937 SWA 155B

Spoilers Relaxation Centre 14 Steven Court RINGWOOD 3134 (03) 9879 7900

Westside 60 Dudley Street WEST MELB 3003 (03) 9329 9236 SWA 4596B

These listings should not be interpreted as RhED’s endorsement of these establishments.