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CONTENTS Nissan/Iyar 5780
April 2020
43 FEATURE: Avodah to Launch Service Corps Initiative in San Diego in Partnership with JFS
MONTHLY COLUMNS 12 From the Editor 22 Personal Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion
Around Town 18 Our Town 54 Entertainment
In Every Issue 14 Mail Bag 16 What’s Up Online 53 Diversions 56 News 58 Advice 59 Food 8 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
IN THIS ISSUE
30 ADVERTORIAL: 18 Under 18 35 PASSOVER: Strength and Memory at Passover 40 PASSOVER: Community Seder Listings 45 OP-ED: Tikkun Olam Part 2 47 PASSOVER: Getting to the Finish Line at Passover 49 PASSOVER: Alone, Yet Together 51 PASSOVER: Achieving Personal Freedom: The Deeper Message of Passover
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 9
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www.sdjewishjournal.com April 2020 • Nissan/Iyar 5780 PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Jacqueline Bull ASSISTANT EDITOR • Alex Wehrung ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson SENIOR CONSULTANT • Ronnie Weisberg CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Leorah Gavidor, Emily Gould, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Patricia Goldblatt, Pat Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Marnie Macauley, Rabbi Jacob Rupp, Saul Levine, Rachael Eden, Sybil Kaplan. ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Jonathan Ableson – Senior Account Executive Alan Moss – Palm Springs SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 263-4310 7742 Herschel Avenue, Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037 EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: jableson@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 7742 Herschel Ave., Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2020 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.
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WISHING YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE A JOYOUS PASSOVER. Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 11
A Note From the Past
H
ello. It is March 17th when I’m writing this note. This is essentially a time machine. How is it over there? The latest coronavirus news in my time is all restaurants are only permitted to serve food to go, the bars are closed and there are to be no large gatherings of any kind. The magazine is set to be sent to the printer on Mar. 23 and in your hands in one of the first few days of April, depending on your zip code. Normally the span of two weeks is a fairly predictable thought exercise. Living in multiple timelines is part of the job description in print media. (And probably to some extent digital media as well; Bon Appetit’s YouTube cooking series–a favorite of mine–shoots videos two or three months ahead.) To accommodate the sequence of man hours it takes to physically print the magazine, to lay it out digitally, to proof it on the page, to edit it, to write it, to assign it, we are always living in the future of when the magazine comes out, the present of the events of that month and the past of the prior issue. My brain living in all these different places is especially apparent to me now when news–big news–is happening every day or even every eight hours. I sat at my desk last week and watched as my inbox rolled out cancellation and postponement notices, one after the other. It was so cloudy and calm outside my window it didn’t seem possible that all of this was happening. Epidemiologists have expressed that this abundance of caution at this stage will diminish the number of total cases, lessen a spike of cases and save lives. The word “overreaction” is a bit of a paradox because it depends on the outcome of actions in the future and not on the efficacy of the present
moment. A response is either a reaction or an overreaction based on the unknowable severity of the outcome. Between you, me and the lamppost, I sincerely hope that we will have the good fortune of seeing our response as an overreaction; I will risk a reality of silliness over a reality of overrun hospitals. Events with large groups are as of now only cancelled through March. I wish I really could see into the future to see if that is true. I can say with certainty that this will be a memorable Passover. “Social isolation,” the buzzword of the moment, has spurred on creativity to better use our communication tools. Many synagogues are implementing Shabbat and other services as live streams, or newsletters or videos. As a part of the social media cautious chorus, I’m finding myself newly optimistic about its potential. The quick thinking to adapt in strange circumstances has me feeling quite patriotic. There is a surge of altruistic creativity which has been offering me hope and human connection in lieu of close gatherings. Funnily enough, I had originally planned on writing my letter about the experience of participating in the San Diego Half Marathon and then it was cancelled. Race participants were all switched over to the “virtual ticket” which would be more accurately called a remote ticket; you complete the same distance, but maybe at home on your treadmill or in a different city. With a few changes, race participants still picked up their gear for the race. In the gear pick up, I had gone through the line to get my bib number, picked up my race shirt, through the event merchandise and made it to the end where they give
From The Editor 12 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
you what is essentially a goodie bag with snacks and water. As I rounded the corner to the final booth, I saw there was a woman holding out my medal for me, she let out a little cheer and put the medal around my neck. She couldn’t have known how much that would mean to me. It was my first long race of any kind and the training for it had made me focused and energized. I actually had completed the full race route a week before the scheduled date as practice and had thought that I had technically done what I had set to do, but had yet to feel like it. I was unexpectedly devastated when the event was cancelled and felt robbed of my moment of catharsis. She couldn’t have known any of that. She could have just as easily handed me my bag with the medal with the rest of the items, but she didn’t. She gave me my moment. And I’m so grateful. Of course there is a moral here about how small acts of kindness can occasionally be felt profoundly, but more than that I was struck by her finding a creative solution in a strange circumstance to do something kind and selfless. Wherever or however this April issue finds you–whether the world is back to business as usual or this is a bit of entertainment in isolation of some kind–I wish you a Happy Passover. A
Jacqueline Bull
Yitzak Rabin called Magen David Adom Israel’s second line of defense. With the coronavirus, we’re the first. When the COVID19 coronavirus arrived in Israel, the Ministry of Health knew who could best protect everyone’s health. Because Israelis know Magen David Adom has the paramedics, training, and vision to minimize the spread of the disease. With its innovative home-testing program and cutting-edge video apps, MDA can literally see how patients are recovering — enabling most Israelis to recover at home, where they can infect the fewest people. Support from Americans like you has helped MDA shield almost all of Israel’s 9 million people from this disease. But this fight has depleted the tools and supplies MDA needs to ensure the infection rates don’t rise. Help Magen David Adom continue to protect Israelis and save lives. Make a gift today. Chag Pesach sameach.
afmda.org/protect
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 13
A footnote for your article on ‘with’ and aM ‘people’ and the plural Hebrew & Japanese ending in cherubim, seraphim, aHim
let us know what’s on your mind.
Your article on the amateur linguistic “detective work” of a Jewish tourist impressed me as a Hebrew linguist. The main influence of Hebrew was as a vehicle for Judaism, upon which Christianity and western civilization were built. A cute example is the city name San Diego: while it’s immediately derived from Spanish Sant-iago ‘St. James, Iago is from Hebrew Yaaqov.
Other influences include sumo wrestling, which Arimasa Kubo claims derives from Jacob’s fight with the angel who gave him his new name, Israel; sumo itself is the Japanese pronunciation of Hebrew Shemo ‘his name.’ A more dramatic connection is in the African Lemba tribe, which DNA tests verify them as descendants of the ancient Hebrew Kohanim. Hebrew has always been a rich example for linguistic study, including Noam Chomsky’s MA thesis, from which he developed his famous Sound Pattern of English. Similarly, my five decades of research on Hebrew resulted in a less famous but comprehensive theory of “How Words Mean”–in all languages, including even Chinese & Japanese. My claim is that the first consonant of any word in any language has its own meaning, which is the basis of the whole word’s meaning. So M meaning ‘together’ is the basis for Hebrew iM
Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 7742 Herschel Ave, Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037.
Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers. For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses. All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every article on sdjewishjournal.com. Magazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.
14 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
‘brothers’—and also Chinese Min ‘people’ and plural ending —Men (haidzMen ‘children’), as well as English Mob, Multitude, Many, and Russian Mnogo ‘Much, Many.’
Consonant-pairs are the newest part of my research, revealing even more startling Parallels, such as GaLa ‘festive’ with havah naGiLah ‘let’s rejoice,’ and even Ge’uLah ‘redemption’ with Goal. Both single consonant “Magic Letters” and consonant-pairs can help you learn Hebrew or any language faster and easier and (more interestingly) more than repeating prayers and blessings which until now may have little or no more meaning at all.
OP Ed or Ad: investing funds
While Tikkun Olam is praiseworthy, promoting/soliciting financial investment seems to be commercial. The OpEd in the SDJewishJournal would be better posted as an advertisement. If Charles Schwab or JPMorgan solicited funds that included ‘good deeds,’ would that be an advertisement or PSA/OpEd? My eyes get blurry looking for the difference, especially when the essay was written by the CEO of the investment firm. (A ‘foundation’ is also a ‘firm,’ n’est-ce pas?)
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what’s up
online
@sdjewishjournal.com
2 Jewish professors win Abel Prize, the equivalent of a Nobel Prize in mathematics Two retired Jewish professors, including a Yeshiva University graduate who taught in Jerusalem for nearly four decades, have won the Abel Prize for mathematics, the equivalent of a Nobel. Hillel Furstenberg, 84, and Gregory Margulis, 74, will split the monetary award of about $700,000. There is no Nobel for mathematics. The Abel has been given out annually by the Norwegian Academy of Science and Letters since 2003 to honor important advances in mathematics. Furstenberg and Margulis were recognized for their trailblazing work in probability and dynamics. Furstenberg, a Berlin native, left Germany with his family for the United States just prior to World War II, The New York Times reported. He was an undergraduate at Yeshiva University and earned a doctorate at Princeton. Later he moved to Israel and joined the faculty of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in 1965, where he worked until his retirement in 2003. Margulis, a Moscow native, received a doctorate from Moscow State University in 1970 and won the prestigious Fields Medal for mathematics achievement eight years later at 32. He was not allowed to leave the country because he is Jewish, but could travel to other universities beginning in the 1980s and eventually took a position at Yale in 1991.
16 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
Israel Coronavirus Updates Stay home: Israel’s Health Ministry announced the most far-reaching restrictions to try to slow the spread of coronavirus, instructing Israelis to not leave their homes except for essential needs such as groceries and medicines. Changes at the Western Wall: People are still visiting the Western Wall, but Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, the rabbi of the Western Wall and other holy sites, called on worshippers to not kiss the stones of the Kotel in order to not spread coronavirus. Worshippers at the Western Wall have begun standing about six feet apart during prayers services, in areas marked by yellow tape to be occupied by no more than 10 people. Hundreds of worshippers visited the Western Wall for morning services on Mar. 16 and dozens of bar mitzvahs took place with limited numbers of participants, the Western Wall Heritage Foundation said in a statement. Netanyahu’s criminal trial delayed: The coronavirus crisis is delaying Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s corruption trial. The trial had been set to begin this week, just as Netanyahu is negotiating to form a government in the wake of this month’s elections. Immigration to Israel rolls on: Most people are staying put at the moment, but at least a few are still planning to move to Israel. Two dozen new immigrants arrived the week of Mar. 15 from the United States, according to Nefesh B’Nefesh, an organization that coordinates immigration. The Jewish Agency for Israel, which supports new immigrants, has produced a short movie called “Making Aliyah in Uncertain Times” that explains how people can move to Israel despite a requirement that anyone arriving from overseas undergo a two-week quarantine period. About 170 people have moved to Israel so far in March, the agency said.
Linda Grant won a Jewish literary prize in Britain for her novel “A Stranger City,” about Jews coming of age in London. The book is “a superb piece of writing about London life and its complexity,” the chair of judges for the Wingate Literary Prize said in a statement from the prize committee. “'A Stranger City’ very much felt like a work for the 21st Century and a coming of age for Jews in Britain.” Grant said in the statement that she wanted to write about “the unease about the times we are living in, of those with an historic memory of always having to move on, of displacement and a complex sense of what exactly a home is.” “It goes I think for all Jews, but Jews are not the whole story–other immigrants have arrived and they have their own reality,” she said. Now in its 43rd year, the Wingate Literary Prize, worth nearly $5,000 and run in association with JW3, the Jewish Community Centre London, is awarded to the best book, fiction or nonfiction, to translate the idea of Jewishness to the general reader. Previous winners include Amos Oz, Zadie Smith, Oliver Sacks, Otto Dov Kulka and David Grossman.
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Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 17
our TOWN BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL
In February, the San Diego International Jewish Film Festival, celebrating 30 years, presented another series of truly educational and thought-provoking films. Some of the films that made a significant impression on us were “The Albanian Code,” “Chasing Portraits” and “Love In Suspenders.” The series was once again chaired by the amazing Christina Fink! Working with her wonderfully organized committee, the whole festival was an incredible success! During the run of the festival, some of those we ran into were Stan Rodier, Joel & Judy Pressman, Avril Copans, Sandy Sherman, Lynn & Jerry Sampson with daughter Rachel, Bobbi Warren, Jerry Goldberg, Stacie BresslerReinstein, Lynette Allen and Larry Rothenberg, Carol Weisner, Vivian Wohlwend, Sandy & Lyn Lary, Isobel & Marc Leverant, Nat & Sharon Koren, Sharon Davidson, Karen Brand-Rogoff, Stephen Edelstein, and Claire & David Ellman. With a jam-packed audience in attendance, the 42nd Annual Women’s Auxiliary Gala of the Seacrest Foundation was a spectacular event! Welcoming everyone were co-chairs Mary Epsten and Alana Ziman, along with Honorary Chairs Sheila & Jeff Lipinsky. The evening’s entertainment by The Dancing Fire was electrifying! What a joy it was to see so many generations of supporters dancing together into the night! Some of those seen in the crowd were Jessica & Devin Chodorow, Pamela & Edward Carnot, Cindy & Larry Bloch, Michael Bennett, Lois & Martin Ehrlich, Rebecca & Michael Epsten, Jean & Franklin Gaylis, Nancy Geist, Marla & Gordon Gerson, Sara Gilman and Len Gregory, Jennifer & Robert Handler, Kate & John Kassar, Larry Katz, Rabbi Marty & Anita Lawson, Carol Levy, Barbara & Howard Milstein, Linda & Wayne Otchis, Jane Ottenstein, Roz & Stan Pappelbaum, Monica & Ron Pearlman, Erica & Steven Ratner, Tammy & Jonathan Schwartz, Peter Stovin, Susan & Richard Ulevitch, Isabelle & Mel Wasserman, Sharon & David Wax, Jared Ziman, Emily Epsten and Gabe Callaway, Susan & Robert Lipidus, Barbara & Mark Steinberg, and Edie Greenberg.
2020 Gala Committee.
Back Row, L to R: Co-Chairs Mary Epsten and Alana Ziman, Front row, L to R: Honorary Chairs Jeffrey & Sheila Lipinsky,
Yom Huledets Sameach to…
Roz Freedman celebrating her 84th birthday. Don Goldman celebrating his 87th birthday. Esther Rosenberg celebrating her 90th birthday. Budd Rubin celebrating his 90th birthday.
Mazel Tov to…
Phyllis & Dan Epsten, on their 56th wedding anniversary. Roz & Marty Freedman, on their 62nd wedding anniversary. Joan & Jeremy Berg, on their 60th wedding anniversary. Jean & Theodore Buntan, on their 63rd wedding anniversary. Ina & Irwin Rubenstein, on their 64th wedding anniversary. Ron & Carol Fox, on the birth of their two new great grandchildren, Noam Dov Pamensky, born in Jerusalem on 18 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
Frank & Lee Goldberg, Suzi & Bernie Feldman.
December 6, and Nava Levin, born in Cleveland, OH on February 7. Proud grandparents are Jaymie & Aryeh Pamensky who reside in Toronto. Annica Udewitz, on becoming a Bat Mitzvah on March 7, at Tifereth Israel Synagogue. Parents Cheryl & Mark Shepard along with grandparents Phyllis & Sam Spital looked on with pride.
Jane Ottenstein & The Dancing Fire robot.
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Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 21
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM
THIS WAY TO EDEN by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com
The Work of Liking People
O
ne afternoon, driving home from work, I found myself making a mental list of an acquaintance’s positive characteristics. Sally was nurturing, fun, caring, protective and loyal. She was smart, driven, funny, charismatic and hard-working. I could rattle off over a dozen ways in which she excelled and was likeable. However, try as I might, I really didn’t like Sally. I thought I liked everyone and could easily observe the commandment ‘love your neighbor as yourself’. After all, it’s easy to love people when we see their strengths, perspective, struggles and vulnerability. As a people-watcher and generally happy person with a conscience, I assumed I wouldn’t struggle with this commandment. Sally proved me wrong. In addition to all of the wonderful traits she possessed, Sally also liked getting her way and she could be aggressive in her quest. Sally was judgemental and suspicious. She was quick to anger and could be insensitive and irrational. Still, why didn’t I like her? She was a package like everyone else. My closest friends and favorite family members have their own lists of strengths and weaknesses. Why did I associate them with their positive sides and not give Sally the same benefit? Our experiences with people don’t shape our opinions of them. Rather, our opinions of people shape our experiences with them. The difference between Sally and my closest friends is that they’re mirror images of each other. Both are caricatures. My close friends’ most likeable features are embellished and Sally’s least likeable attributes are amplified. 22 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
Sally can somehow pick up on my negative perspective and my best friends know how wonderful I consider them. In turn, Sally probably isn’t my biggest fan whereas my closest friends love me (I think!). So how do I change my perspective? How do I associate Sally with all of her wonderful qualities? How do I see all of the people in my life who fall under the ‘Sally’ category as the best version of themselves? A small study was published this past summer in the Journal of Research in Personality. Psychologists from Washington State University showed students 900 Instagram photos and asked them to judge the subjects in the photos on likeability, among other attributes. The psychologists found that students rated subjects with much higher scores in likeability when a photo was a posie (a subject posing traditionally) over a selfie (a self-taken photograph). Students considered those in selfies to be more self-absorbed and narcissistic even when all variables in the photo such as location, facial expression and physical achievements were the same. In short, we assume that people who take their own photos are preoccupied with themselves. As it turned out, in the case of the 900 photos, all of the subjects (from both posies and selfies) tested the same for narcissistic personality traits. Our perspective and preconceived notions are the deciding factor for likeability. Our judgements have nothing to do with the actual people involved. Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller, multinational writer and lecturer, comments that ‘loving your neighbor’ is much more than a sweet old
adage. There are defined halachot (laws) surrounding respecting others, speaking highly of them and being concerned about their future and losses. To acquire this basic level of love, I’m required to take specific action steps about Sally. I certainly can’t become complacent about my feelings against her. Additionally, there is an intrinsic relationship between the way we accept and love ourselves and how we feel about other people. The commandment to love our neighbors is hinged on us loving ourselves. Practically, the same laws that apply in interpersonal relationships apply to ourselves. By this logic, we certainly may not speak ill of ourselves or bear a grudge against ourselves. A powerful idea: to the degree I love myself, I am equipped to love others. So, the first step to liking Sally is to understand my limitation in liking myself. The Talmud discusses that each person must embrace the idea of “bishvili nivra haolam–the world was created for me”. Sally was put in my life to remind me of my own self-worth. It’s not enough to rattle off my (or Sally’s) accomplishments and talents. This doesn’t speak of my intrinsic value or likeability. Intellectual knowledge doesn’t foster love. Sally, you and I are each special and different. We are intertwined in this life and are designed to support one another. Spending time on this notion, praying for Sally’s well-being, investing time in her (time is my most precious commodity) or resources on her, all create space for love. So if I run a stop sign or cut you off, judge me favorably. I might be spending my drive home thinking about all the reasons to love you. A
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Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 23
ISRAELI LIFESTYLE
LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com
Purge & Soar
E
lection shmutz in both Israel and America makes me want to eat healthily, exercise, stop cursing and give others the benefit of the doubt. I yearn for some control at a time in our shared history as I find myself more and more concerned that, in fact, I’ve become irrelevant in the movie of my life. There seems to be another movement afoot that says Marie Kondo and her minions of declutterers are shysters, phonies and moral storm-troopers. I disagree. Like any popular new-think, detractors will emerge and, in a world where dissent used to be tolerated, this is fine. I’ve still not emptied my closet onto the bed nor asked a corkscrew whether or not it sparks joy. But taking a page out of the Konmari Rule Book, I’ve purged my husband’s closet of tricot disco pants and minimized his sock collection by 600%. Recently we installed a new kitchen. Or, should I say, a kitchen. In the eight years we’ve lived in our apartment, the cabinetry was the builder’s original set. Constructed in 1978, Golda Meir would pooh-poohed it in her day. I wept frequently, hating it so that, consequently, I hated my home. The open-floor design meant seeing it from every corner of living space. Painting walls or adding plants and artwork were merely futile 24 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
exercises, designed to distract. I am a 64-yearold grandma, living as though I was sharing a college flat. My unhappiness was palpable. And so, just in time for Passover, we added a kitchen and saved my marriage. The near frantic pace of clearing out cabinets and moving them to other spaces in a 900-squarefoot apartment forced me to immediately address which items add or subtract from our general well-being. The experience was lifealtering. With so much to do and so many goals to attain, possessions demand upkeep, storage, consideration. I had recently cleared out the flat of my elderly mother and the words of a dear friend kept ping-pinging in my ear: “Our treasures become our children’s burdens.” During that period with Mom, I pledged not leave the challenge of heavydisencumbering to my offspring. Now was a chance to begin working toward that promise. Because Seder Night was looming closer as well, shedding both home and heart of chametz (leavened food products) made sense. Thinking of the Exodus from Egypt, I pondered the question, “What did our foremothers deem critical baggage for escaping eternal bondage and nation building?” Considering both desert terrain
and thousands of chariots in hot pursuit, I envisioned not more than a carry-on tote per person containing a robe or two, sturdy hiking sandals, toothbrush and floss, three headscarves and enough fine jewelry to pound into a Golden Calf and/or eventual mirrors for the Tabernacle. It also occurred to me that my enormous Tupperware collection was embarrassing. Soft, delicious bread (an Israel specialty) contains almost the same ingredients as boring, hard-to-digest matzah. Bread rises and, infused with hot air, is delectable. On the other hand, matzah is hastily mixed and baked, remaining flat and meek. The most exemplary quality of matzah lies in its lack of pretentiousness. I’m reminded of a bumper sticker that read, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” How egotistical, bloated, futile and chamezdik. This is a legacy? As I combined both Spring cleaning and Passover preparation, the paradigm shift of connecting a historically humble past to a (hopefully) humble and meaningful future was nearly non-discernible. But it was there, nestled between 19 photo albums and 371 compact discs. Oy. Wishing one and all–Jew, gentile, believer and non–a chag kasher v’same’ach! A
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EXAMINED LIFE
OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu
Is Truth Trustworthy, Fact or Fake, Accurate or False?
W
e all know the meaning of the word “Truth,” don’t we? A statement of fact is either true or it’s not, right? But the word and concept of truth have recently become complicated, and even under siege. Statements of fact are often mistrusted and attacked as “fake” or “false,” especially when associated with reported news. Citizens here and in other roiling countries are increasingly questioning whom or what to believe, which is unsettling, to put it mildly. Truth is a basic and iconic social construct which enables us to implicitly trust the statements or motives of others. Without truth and trust, we lose confidence in our society and our lives feel more insecure. The very air we breathe, the food we eat, the words we hear all depend on trust in one another and in social and political institutions. If we can’t rely on statements from people or official agencies, what can we depend upon? We’re taught at home and school that ‘telling the truth’ is a cardinal rule of behavior and that lying is evil. ‘True or False’ tests in school seek only ‘T’ or ‘F’ answers, with no ambiguities or responses like “it depends.” (We soon learn that it often does indeed depend!) We take solemn oaths in court to “tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” In a venerable American parable about “telling the truth” no matter the consequences, the child George Washington was said to have told his stern father, “I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down the cherry tree.” In the classic film “A Few Good Men,” Jack Nicholson famously uttered, “You can’t handle the Truth!” (meaning his truth, as opposed to Tom Cruise’s). In the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta “HMS Pinafore,” the song “Things are Seldom What They Seem” (“Skim Milk Masquerades as Cream”) is about believing something to be true which is nothing of the kind. The famed Japanese film director Akira Kurosawa’s classic movie “Rashomon” told 26 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
the story of four people who witnessed the same experience, but as each related their version, four entirely different renditions unfolded of what occurred, that is, four versions of the truth. This phenomenon is seen daily in courtrooms when witnesses for the prosecution and defense–each sworn to uphold the truth–describe opposing perceptions of what transpired. Some paranoid or psychotic individuals harbor beliefs in the “truth” of totally false personal narratives which we refer to as “delusions.” But false beliefs (“conspiracy theories”) also abound among seemingly sane individuals, who know about the “true” villains of 9/11, the sinister “deep state,” the “real” killers of JFK, inherent evils of racial and ethnic groups, powers of messianic figures in cults (or politics), vaccines causing autism, the Earth is flat, the “plot” of the coronavirus, or the “myth” of global warming. These outlandish opinions are held by “True Believers” who, even in the face of contrary proof, deny the facts, rage at critics and tenaciously hold onto their “truths.” Discoveries in science have propelled the world forward in health, technology and other spheres, but there are those with “anti-science” biases who dismiss research findings, even when meticulously validated. Science isn’t perfect, but it offers the closest processes we have to achieving major discoveries and ultimate truths. Truth is not always an objective entity, implicitly agreed upon, nor is it solely a subjective perspective, “in the eye of the beholder.” Rather, Truth is often “in the between” (as Shakespeare put it). As long as humans have communicated using language, truth has been subject to diverse interpretations and disagreements. At this moment in time, however, truth has become especially muddled and murky. There are myriad accusations of “fake” or “false” news, urging us to doubt and disbelieve the truth of news stories we read in
the press and internet or hear on television. New words have entered the vernacular: One of President Trump’s advisors offered the bizarre concept of “alternative facts,” and the word “Truthiness,” popularized by Stephen Colbert, means a mock version of the truth, when one’s intuition or opinion can easily supersede actual facts. Deliberate lies and attacks on the press are spouted by politicians, fueling confusion in the minds of citizens. Our own intelligence sources tell us that false stories were “planted” in the media by foreign countries in order to sway the last Presidential election. There are malevolent governments and domestic operatives inserting untruths and disinformation in our news and social media, attempting to influence public opinion politically and socially and to sow chaos by destabilizing the fabric of society. Truth and trust are especially under assault in countries with authoritarian populist leaders. When societies are perceived by their citizens as unstable and polarized, the ‘social atmosphere’ feels unpleasant, even threatening. Provocative and conflicting news about people and events further engender uncertainty. People do best when they feel secure, grounded, confident, trusting themselves and others, and having some control over their lives and loved ones. When these feelings are upended, individuals resonate internally to the outside instability and insecurity. We need to be able to rely on our mainstays of Truth and Trust. When these are in doubt, whom are we to believe? What is trustworthy information and what is meant to instigate or confuse? Indeed, what is Truth? “In truth” (I say advisedly), we are better and stronger than that. We must uphold the truth whenever it is being disparaged or distorted. As was recently stated in federal court, “The Truth still exists, the Truth still matters.” A
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 27
RELIGION
POST-POLITICAL by Rabbi Jacob Rupp rabbirupp@gmail.com
Tapping into Nature
I
remember as the plane landed in L.A. from the frozen tundra called Minnesota in the winter, I blinked with wonder at the grass I saw. What? Green? Not piles of snow everywhere? Stepping out into the morning sunlight, I felt the warmth on my skin for the first time in months. I would make audible exhales as I soaked in the sun and recognized, for the first time in my life, what seasons are all about. Sure, we think we understand seasons in California. Like those “cold” winter mornings when sometimes there is frost on our windows and we don’t take our sweatshirts off. My mom used to make fun of me when I would visit her in the Bay Area after my body had adjusted to the San Diego climate and I would find myself cold at say, 60 degrees. But even after a laughingly light winter in Minnesota, I know that we’re not playing around anymore. The recent bestseller “Brain Wash,” by David and Austin Perlmutter works through some of the research on how the secret to longevity and happiness is (spoiler alert) to use your phone less, eat healthier, go out into nature, sleep more and exercise. What I enjoyed most about the book–a theme that I have spent more and more time delving into–is how factors in our environment affect our perception. As strange as it is to discuss your inner monologue in public (though I’ve been doing it for years), suffice to say “I” (the parenthesis is because this I is my inner voice) always feel in total control at all
28 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
times. In those rare moments that I have considered or been approached about medicinal solutions that involve substances that help us relax, I don’t indulge as the thought of losing my inner “I” seems so terrifying. But what I have spent a long time on is the awareness that my inner “I” isn’t in charge at all, and is affected by just about everything out there. “Brain Wash” just solidified it from a biological instead of psychological perspective, helping me gather more evidence that rather than listening to what my head says, I aspire to shift into how I “feel” and then try to find factors that either enhance or detract from that. Case in point: I recently was approached to lead services in a large congregation full of people who would be able to clearly hear the parts of Hebrew that I mispronounced. As a ‘rabbi’, nothing creates more imposter syndrome than this. It created such a state of fear for me that in the first EIGHT years of my rabbi career, I would literally hide in the bathroom when they were looking for someone to lead davening so that I wouldn’t be picked. And now, when I was approached and asked to lead the prayers, initially I said no. “Phew” my mind said. SAFE! But then my heart, my intuition kicked in and I felt disappointed and sad–a bit like I had walked away from a challenge. So I listened and went up and volunteered. And as I led the services, I enjoyed thoroughly the experience of listening to my inner voice kick and scream
while I did what I knew was something of which I was proud. What does all this have to do with the weather? A lot. No matter how fast our new iPhone gets or how infinite the amount of information we can put in the digital cloud, the beauty of nature is that it is just much much bigger than us. We try our hardest to build comfort and stability into our lives, but as a Californian living in Minnesota, sometimes it's just cold outside and you can’t do anything about it. No matter how many times I “will it” to be warm so I can don my zip-up and open my sunroof, in January it’s just not going to happen. It moves us from a controlled environment and forces us to pay attention to what’s going on around us. And the truth is, the more we live in what’s going on around us, the more joy we can access. Suddenly, 20 degrees is warm. The sun being out is a blessing. And you can literally get high on life just walking on the sand and hearing the waves. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD and get into your life. As we sit down at our Seder table this year, realize somewhere out there snow is melting. The world is warming up. Life is organic and living and it’s not all about you. G-d is bigger than you, bigger than all your worries and needs, and He gave you this thing called life if you care to enjoy it. And with that perception, suddenly the impossible is possible and you can walk out of whatever self-imposed nonsense you engage with and enter a place of freedom. A
JE WISH COM M U N I TY S U P P O R T
Know. Act. Give. Support the San Diego Jewish Community COVID-19 Emergency Fund
The Jewish Community Foundation of San Diego, Jewish Federation of San Diego County, and Leichtag Foundation have partnered to establish the San Diego Jewish Community COVID-19 Emergency Fund.
Community Partners
This urgent effort will gather information about community needs and immediately allocate funds, employing effective processes that proved successful in prior crises.
Needs will be dynamic. Critical areas that have emerged include: • Relief for those who are out of work
and those struggling to meet their basic needs. • Support for isolated individuals,
especially the most vulnerable, including the elderly, Holocaust survivors, those with disabilities, and others. • Food and nutrition programs for those of all ages. • Relief for Jewish organizations substantially dependent on lost tuition,
membership, programmatic or event income.
These dire situations demand that we come together as a Jewish Community to care for the most vulnerable among us. Thank you for making an impact on lives when it is needed the most. To make a donation, please visit: www.jcfsandiego.org/covid19 Or mail a check to the Jewish Community Foundation - 4950 Murphy Canyon Road, San Diego, CA 92123. 100% of your donation will be used to meet COVID-19 related needs. Contact: Ollie Benn - (858) 279-2740, ollie@jcfsandiego.org
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 29
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Teens Doing Outstanding Teens Doing Outstanding Things in our Community Things in our Community
You always hear people sayhear teens You always are the leaders people say teensof tomorrow, but of the are the leaders truth is these tomorrow, but teens the the leaders truthare is these teens of today. are the leaders
of today.
— Rebecka Handler, Director of the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative — Rebecka Handler,
Director of the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative
Over the past five years, the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative has stood by the Over the past five years, the San Diego belief that exposing teens to a diversity Jewish Teen Initiative has stood by the of Jewish experiences and opportunities belief that exposing teens to a diversity will help them more deeply connect with of Jewish experiences and opportunities their Jewish community. If teens are able will them more deeply connect with to tohelp experience different ways to connect their Jewish community. If teens arebecome able their Judaism they will more likely tolifelong experience different ways to connect to participants in Jewish life. We have their Judaism they will more likely become been working with educators, parents, and lifelong participants Jewish life. We have teens to explore andinimplement ways to been with educators, parents, and helpworking teens navigate Jewish experiences teens explore and implement ways to of and to today find ourselves in a new world help teens navigate Jewish experiences possibilities for Jewish teens. In thinking and today find a new world of about how to ourselves present theindiversity of ways to be involved the concept of possibilities for Jewishly, Jewish teens. In thinking 18 Under 18present emerged. about how to the diversity of ways to be involved Jewishly, the concept of 18 Under 18 is a community-wide 18awareness Under 18 emerged. campaign that recognizes 18 doing things in our 18teens Under 18 isoutstanding a community-wide community. Our hopethat is torecognizes inspire other awareness campaign 18 teens and preteens to find their teens doing outstanding things inconnection our to Jewish life is authentic. community. Ourthat hope is to inspire other
teens preteens to find their connection “Oh and my goodness, this is incredible! Thank toyou Jewish life that is authentic. so much, I look forward to continuing being a leader in our community!” says “Oh my goodness, this is incredible! Thank Talia Schauder, 18 Under 18 recipient. you so much, I look forward to continuing being a leader in our community!” says Talia Schauder, 18 Under 18 recipient.
The San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative is generously supported by:
30 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
The San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative is generously supported by:
As the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative, we felt strongly that these teen’s outstanding As the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative, we accomplishments needed to be shared with felt strongly that these teen’s outstanding the greater San Diego community. accomplishments needed to be shared with “18 greater Under 18 is such exciting opportunity the San Diegoancommunity. because it highlights the amazing and “18 Under 18 our is such exciting diverse ways teensanare gettingopportunity involved because it highlights the amazing andthis in their community. As a teen educator diverse ways our teens are getting involved is a unique and meaningful way to celebrate in their community. As a teen educator the accomplishments of the most active this and is a unique and meaningful wayrecognizing to celebrate involved leaders beyond simply the of the active and theiraccomplishments contributions within our most organization. involved beyond simply recognizing 18 Underleaders 18 brings to scale the hard their within our organization. work contributions each teen contributes to making 18 brings to scale hard SanUnder Diego18 a more robust andthe thriving work each teen contributes making Jewish community for youngto people.” — Daria Tomsky, Jewish Family Service San Diego a more robust and thriving Jewish community for young people.” 18 Under 18 is all about celebration through — Daria Tomsky, Jewish Family Service a teen lens.
18 Under me 18 is all about celebration through “It brings great pride to learn about athese teenteen’s lens. amazing accomplishments andbrings to work with the teen educators “It meclosely great pride to learn about who are mentoring and supporting them these teen’s amazing accomplishments as they reachclosely these achievements.” and to work with the teen educators — Rebecka Handler, Director of the who are mentoring and supporting them San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative. as they reach these achievements.” — Rebecka Handler, Director of the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative.
Fletcher Block
Karina Evans-Schreiber
Temple Solel
Congregation Dor Hadash
NFTY
Fletcher has held and currently holds numerous prestigious leadership positions: NFTY SoCal President, Shabbat Song Leader in the teen band Kavanah, Camp Simcha Counselor, and San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative Peer Leadership Fellow. Fletcher’s greatest accomplishment to date is his recent electoral victory to serve as the 2020-20201 NFTY National President. What makes Fletcher an extraordinary leader is the compassion and sensitivity that he holds for those around him. Fletcher is a community builder with a strong and caring heart who allows Jewish values to guide his time, manner, and ambition.
Dor Hadash Youth Group & Religious School Karina is a teen with a positive attitude and a team player approach. She serves as a Religious School madricha and as President of Dor Hadash’s youth group. Karina is passionate about helping others and always finds ways to build others up, both younger students and peers. In addition to her commitment to Dor Hadash, Karina is a founding member of San Diego HaZamir, a national Jewish choral organization. In her free time, she plays volleyball, runs track, and enjoys soccer.
Joey Colarusso
Ethan Hirschberg
Jewish Family Service
Temple Solel
Teen Leadership
Camp Simcha & Diller Tikkun Olam Award Winner
Joey has a passion for ending hunger and his devotion to serving on the Teen Leadership Executive Board is admirable. Joey pairs his Teen Leadership involvement and his passion for ending hunger by actively participating in his high school’s Hunger Club, which he co-facilitates, striving to create ways to bring the work of both groups together. This year, Joey took his leadership skills to Hunger Action Day in Sacramento, where he lobbied on behalf of San Diego Jewish Family Service and the San Diego Hunger Coalition for more effective hunger legislation. Day in and day out, Joey is positive, enthusiastic, and helps motivate others to be more involved.
Ethan is a leader within and outside of the San Diego Jewish community. Through his dedication to Temple Solel’s Camp Simcha and his ability to advocate for himself and his peers, he truly is a role model. He lives the values that we as a Jewish peoplehood highly regard, including courage, chesed, and tikkun. As someone who supports the building of the Camp Simcha community, he is the creator and author of “The Journey Through Autism,” a blog that captured the attention of more than 60,000 readers and the Diller Tikkun Award selection committee.
Shaina Eagle
Carly Klinger
Jewish Family Service
Congregation Beth El
Teen Leadership
As an Executive Board member of Jewish Family Service Teen Leadership and an alumnus of Girls Give Back, Shaina enjoys taking action and raising awareness around access to education, gender inequality, and food justice. In her role, Shaina is responsible for approving her peers’ volunteer hours in the San Diego Jewish Family Service volunteer database. Shaina always goes the extra mile; she even set the record for the largest amount of canned goods in weight for a group food drive...330 pounds!
USY
Carly is a leader in every sense of the word, someone whose life is infused with the values of Judaism. She is Congregation Beth El’s Co-USY president, a madricha at Religious School, and a regular volunteer in the Beth El community. Carly’s abilities and commitment to the community are respected and bring pride to those with whom she works. Carly’s leadership extends well beyond the greater San Diego Jewish community, she holds positions on both the regional and international USY boards. Carly has the talent to make those around her feel at ease, and her demeanor creates security and comfort amongst her peers.
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Tamar Ladd
Beatriz de Oliveira
Congregation Dor Hadash
Diller Tikkun Olam Award Winner
Dor Hadash Youth Group & Religious School Tamar is being recognized for her outstanding achievements that have impacted numerous facets of the San Diego Jewish community and beyond. Tamar is a Dor Hadash Religious School madricha and Vice President on the Dor Hadash Teen Board. She has a passion for feeding the homeless, student government, and helping others. Tamar runs cross country, enjoys aerial silks, unicycling and will become a founding member of the Teen Library Book Club. Tamar is mature beyond her years, she is always looking for ways to improve her involvement in everything that she does, and she goes above and beyond what is expected of her. She is extremely organized, artistic, and dedicated.
Beatriz is a lover of literature. She had assumed the daycares, or creches, in her hometown of Campinas, Brazil would be full of books. It wasn’t until she arrived to make a donation, that she saw she was wrong. Speaking with staff, Beatriz learned that most creches were funded by the government and could only afford necessities. Books for a Change was Beatriz’s response. Books for a Change collects and donates books to daycares around the world. To date, Beatriz and her organization have worked to serve more than 10,000 children. Additionally, she is developing a curriculum for daycare instructors to teach and to foster a passion for reading.
Ilan Leisorek
Zachary Patterson
Lawrence Family JCC, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS
San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative
Teen Leadership Council Ilan is the Co-President of the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS Teen Leadership Council. His approachable manner has allowed him to grow Teen Leadership Council’s membership and raise awareness about local Jewish teen community happenings. Not only is Ilan involved with Teen Leadership Council, he is also the President of the KEN Jewish Community teen movement and the Alternative Spring Break President for the San Diego Jewish Academy. Ilan’s involvement does not stop there, he is also a multi-sport athlete. He is outgoing and welcoming, always with a smile on his face.
JTIsrael & Peter Chortek Award Winner
Zachary was chosen as a 2020 Peter Chortek Award Winner through his being elected as the first student to serve on the San Diego Unified School District’s Board of Education. Zachary’s passion for social justice has led him to be involved with Temple Emanu-El and Jewish National Fund. Zachary was Temple Emanu-El’s teen representative on the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative’s pilot experience to Israel, JTIsrael. After JTIsrael, he made the leap to become involved with Jewish National Fund. As a proud Israel activist, Zachary recently attended Jewish National Fund’s annual conference and is now studying abroad at Jewish National Fund’s Alexander Muss High School in Israel.
Shayna Meltzer
Rebecca Pearl
Ohr Shalom Synagogue
Jewish Family Service
USY
Shayna is energetic, focused and incredibly gifted at making things happen. The vast amount of knowledge that she possesses benefits Ohr Shalom’s religious school and USY chapter. Shayna’s eagerness to grow through leadership development makes her a role model. Shayna has also served as a San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative Peer Leadership Fellow for the past three years. The way she leads and inspires others through music is just icing on the cake to what makes Shayna shine in so many ways.
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Teen Leadership
Rebecca is described as an exceptional leader. What makes her stand out are the leadership qualities she personifies. She displays kindness, maturity, punctuality, and initiative. Her leadership journey began during her involvement with Girls Give Back and has expanded to being on the Executive Board of San Diego Jewish Family Service Teen Leadership. Her peers look up to her because she speaks up to share her opinion. In addition to her leadership within Jewish Family Service, Rebecca is also an active member of Youth Action Movement and is actively involved in horseback riding.
Tzipporah Moehringer
Sadie Smith
San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative
Congregation Beth Israel
Motiv
Tzipporah has a passion for Tikkun Olam. She truly exemplifies what it means to be a leader within the greater San Diego Jewish community. Motiv is only one of the many communal leadership touchpoints that she holds, she is also involved with the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative Peer Leader Fellowship, Congregation Beth Israel, StandWithUs and Camp Mountain Chai. Tzipporah’s positivity and empathy make her instrumental in engaging other teens. She is smart, personable, hardworking and spiritied.
NFTY
Sadie is integral to the success of Beth Israel’s NFTY chapter. Her passion for Jewish culture and social action bleeds through her work ethic. Sadie has served as the Social Action Vice President and is currently serving as the President. She oversees every individual board member to ensure their goals are heard and worked towards. In her spare time, Sadie volunteers at San Diego Jewish Family Service (JFS). Sadie blends her passion for NFTY and JFS by inviting her NFTY peers to participate in JFS volunteer opportunities. At Sadie’s core, she is the type of leader who truly is invested in the people over the project.
Talia Schauder
Liza Turquie
Jewish Community Foundation
Israel American Council
Peter Chortek Award Winner
Talia has created Talia’s Tolerance Tour. She developed this project as a result of her interest in sharing her grandfather’s Holocaust survival story. Talia realized that there was a need to educate teenagers in middle and high schools about the Holocaust — teen to teen. Her project started as a presentation to a school that was having issues with antisemitism and has grown to presentations to diverse audiences of teens and adults countywide. Talia has had the opportunity to present to many students; at just one speaking engagement she spoke to 1,500 high school students. She has the unique quality that enables her to lead in partnership with her peers and elders.
Maya Silberstein San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative
Eitanim
Liza had the joy of growing up in the Jewish community of Mexico, a secular and very close community. Since arriving in San Diego, Liza has been committed to sharing the values of being Jewish and building Jewish identity. Liza actively participates in the KEN Jewish Community, in Youth Action Movement, Eitanim and Beth Eliyahu Temple. Liza was selected as the Israel American CouncilEitanim’s teen representative on the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative’s pilot experience to Israel, JTIsrael. Her ability to grow from learning with her community and her desire to make an impact in the world is what makes her a great leader.
Jason Wexler Jewish Community Foundation
Peter Chortek Award Winner
Peer Leader Fellowship
Maya is a key leader within the San Diego Jewish Teen Initiative’s Peer Leader Fellowship cohort. Her participation within Peer Leaders is paired with her additional responsibilities as the Tikkun Olam-Social Action Coordinator and her student government involvement at the San Diego Jewish Academy. What sets Maya apart as a leader is her willingness to give 100% of herself to everything she does. When Maya is not leading her peers within the Jewish community, she can be found on the tennis court or spending time with her siblings. She intellectually and spiritually shines and exudes a sense of kindness that is hard to come by.
Jason was chosen as a 2020 Peter Chortek Award Winner, due to his accolade of being chosen as a Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Student of the Year. Jason created a team of supporters called Answer for Cancer. As a part of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Answer for Cancer, Jason works in partnership with his peers to raise money for cancer research, specifically to find a cure for rare blood cancers. Under Jason’s leadership, his team raised more than $36,000. When Jason is not fundraising, he is a Peer Leadership Fellow, is a member of JCompany Youth Theatre stage, and a vocalist for On the Town.
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 33
Turn your social distancing into summer camp. Facebook.com/JewishCampAtHome
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Streaming live content all day from Jewish summer camps across the country. Participate live or watch later! Â Arts & crafts, music, science, rikud (Israeli dance), yoga, cooking, and more!
34 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
With appreciation to the California overnight camp community and especially to San Diego locals, Camp Mountain Chai, for the inspiration.
Strength and Memory at Passover BY PATRICIA GOLDBLATT
Y
ears back, my young son approached my father and requested the Haggadah be read in English. My father paused, considered for a few brief seconds but replied, not sternly, but firmly “No.” I seethed, displaying my annoyance in passive aggressive ways, pouting and snarling at my dad who ignored my glances of frustration anyway. My mother who had laboured long and hard with absolutely no help from my sister or myself for the Passover dinner, demurred, smiled, trying to brighten the mood, but I was dark into myself, my anger, only lightening up, when my eyes fell on the faces of the grandchildren at table, who unlike me, seemed unperturbed and had moved passed the usual father-daughter confrontations. Further enraged, I was thinking of clever friends who had entwined their Passover dinners with oranges, pomegranates or created makeshift tents in their living rooms to suggest they were marooned in the desert. How interesting, how contemporary, I thought–combining the traditional and the contemporary. We’re so boring, so traditional, I ruminated, resenting my father’s conservative approach to the evening’s proceedings. As I revisit Seder nights in my head, the memory above pops out to challenge and disturb me. I have to burrow deeper in order to recall shining faces and squirming bodies searching for the elusive afikoman, my parents’ overwhelming delight in their family and the magical observance, heads encircling Eliahu’s cup passed down through generations, as we awaited the wine to recede and of course the rollicking unending versions of Dayenu.
And if I am truthful, it is these last reminisces of the camaraderie at the table into that long Passover night that eclipse the earlier one, and I am reminded of more annual holiday suppers when we were all together, my antipathy dissolved into raucous laughter, meaningful hugs and that warm feeling of being one chaotic but loving family. And only when my father had passed was the evening quieter, stranger, my mother usually bouncing up and down to serve and clear dishes, now seated quietly, distant at the table. Now, I treasure that fixed recalcitrant image of my father in his rust sweater, the kippah on the back of his head, the nod and the thoughtful reflection that conflicted with mine that night so long ago. Now I’m wishing the man was in front of me, not just a memory of him, stern and unyielding, but the brilliant man who could fix anything, his eyes taking all of us in–proud and patient. Too often, small broigus or conflicts at holiday times erupt. Not surprisingly, we carry predispositions or grudges and they take the opportunity of a family gathering to allow themselves to erupt. We hear of these bitter intrusions, these malcontents all the time, not just at Jewish gatherings, but at thanksgivings and celebrations too: the stereotypical retelling of people drinking too much, or behaving in less than polite ways as I confess, I too, did that evening. Having recently attended a production of “The Humans” at the San Diego Repertory Theater, I noted that it was the same all over: a family allowing past angers to destroy what should have been an evening of contentment.
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 35
Being older also provides me with a view of both sides of an argument– being empathetic, and now, wishing my heart had not been hardened like Pharaoh’s. So many moments and lost opportunities to understand now arise–too late to mend bridges, joke, smile, lessen tensions and contribute more positively to situations in which tenderness, not abrasion, should have occurred. But we cannot turn back time. We must move forward with our wisely gleaned knowledge. Passover, like Rosh Hashanah or Chanukah, provides us with those rare moments of coming together as a family, perhaps welcoming strangers into our midst. We display our finer attempts as we tear ourselves away from daily distractions, the workday routines, and foremost,
cumstances, we have managed to gather, even surreptitiously, to chant our prayers, hug one another, solemnly wish for renewed and more joyful outcomes and more opportunities to come together freely. One might also think of the balances. The dark and the light. The candles that glow throughout the Seder lead us to our better selves. Or maybe it is age that makes us kinder, more insightful as our purview expands and we now replicate in our own particular ways the lives of our parents; recounting, reviewing the strands that have been woven into our own lives, both historically and personally. It has been quite a journey. The narratives of our biblical stories, besides providing voice to our ancestors’ travail, stand as well as met-
the technology that consumes us. We return to the stories that have been passed down. And the special Rosenthal dishes taken out only for Passover, the silver wine cup brought from Poland, the starched linens also somehow surviving emigration in third-class steerage. (Those precious treasures were saved by our ancestors to be passed on through the generations. A part of them is invisibly embedded in the things they touched, imprinted with love and care and ritual that have survived and bind us as a family, but also supporting a community that has endured in spite of attempts to destroy us.) However, we have righteously resisted and even in the worst of cir-
aphors to the present. And as we dip our fingers into wine glasses, counting the grasshoppers, darkness, disease and death as we travelled out of Egypt; they also suggest the trials we will continue to confront. Anti-Semitism persists even today in our societies that are touted as more tolerant, compassionate and understanding. Yet on a regular basis, walls are seared with hateful words, synagogue massacres persist and we hold an awareness of antagonism towards us because we are Jews. Today as I sit here, I recall this is the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. I read the words of a survivor from Ravensbruck, Marija Frlan, who when turning
36 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
PHOTOS BY BOB HOFFMAN
100, transcribed her experiences: “The ones who didn’t survive this, they can’t understand … It was terrible.” Frlan explained that prisoners at the Nazi camp for women were given just enough food to survive and had to work throughout the day. “Obligatory inspections were held outside every morning… One time, the inspection was going on for four hours,” she recalled. “Women at the camp encouraged each other not to give up, telling one another ‘Girls, hold on!’ and ‘No moaning!'” Ashamed, and in contrast to these huge agonies, I speculate on the lost moments with my father: the silly argument that marred my pleasure that night at the Seder. It was a petty grievance, truly irrelevant in light of Shoah, persecutions and the exodus from Egypt so long ago. Most of us have thankfully never endured physically these ravages to our bodies, yet we carry the narratives of expulsion from our homes, these words on our backs, in our hearts, in our souls. Yet we too, the descendants of the Holocaust and the exodus, fleeing our tormentors, are always in search of safety, eyes upward, trundling on with prayers for a peaceful future. As we sit at the Passover table, may our lives be rich with the love of our families, free from the discrimination, terrors and hatred that snake at our feet and those who wish we would perish. May we endure and prosper, but retell the Haggadah, ensuring that our unity is not dispelled by quarrels that would divide us. On Passover night, hold your dear ones close. Laugh with your family and proclaim loudly “Dayenu.” A
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OHR SHALOM
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation
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A highly dedicated and detail oriented Jewish professional with over 35 years of experience in Hebrew and Jewish Education on all levels. I specialize in Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation from beginning tutoring through to completion, and I have the qualifications to officiate and perform ceremonies. I am able to work with children at all levels of Hebrew proficiency, including those with special needs or who nweed extra attention. My expertise spans across all Jewish denominations, and I am available to work with those who are affiliated or unaffiliated to a synagogue. I am able to provide tutoring services both in my home or the student’s home, on a flexible basis, including evenings and weekends. Online tutoring is also an option.
May your cup overflow with goodness and happiness. Happy Passover
Community 2nd Seder Thursday, April 9, 6:00pm Join Ohr Shalom Synagogue for a traditional Second Seder led by Rabbi Scott Meltzer RSVP by Friday, April 3 Members: Adults - $40 | Children - $20 (5-12 yrs.) Non-Members: Adults - $50 | Children $30 (5-12 yrs.) For more infomation please contact the office at (619) 231-1456 or office@ohrshalom.org
FREE CONSULTATION Please contact
Sarah Hanuka 708-275-9584
SCOTT MELTZER, Rabbi | LYNN MENDELSOHN, President GILLIAN ARGOFF-TRESEDER, Executive Director CHERYL KATZ, Director of Education & Youth Programs
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2512 Third Avenue at Laurel Street (619) 231-1456 | www.ohrshalom.org | office@ohrshalom.org
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Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 39
Community Seders COMPILED BY ALEX WEHRUNG
Our annual list of community Seders has arrived. Use this guide to find information on your local synagogue or try a new one. Costs, dates and times are included along with contact information. Feel free to share a photo or note about your holiday gathering. Send a letter to the editor, tag us (@ sdjewishjournal) on Twitter or drop us a note on our Facebook page. Happy Passover! This information is up to date at time of printing; cancellations or postponements are possible.
Chabad Chabad Center of University City 3813 Governor Drive San Diego, CA 92122 (858) 455-1670 chabaduc.org April 8, 7:30 p.m. Call for cost Chabad of East County 7290 Navajo Road, Suite 207 San Diego, CA 92119 (619) 387-8770 jewishec.com April 8, 6:45 p.m. Cost: Adults $36 before April 1, children $20 RSVP required Chabad Jewish Center of Rancho Santa Fe 5690 Cancha De Golf Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 (858) 756-7571 jewishrsf.com April 8, 7:30 p.m. RSVP required
Chabad of Coronado 1300 Orange Avenue, Suite 130 Coronado, CA 92118 (619) 365-4728 chabadcoronado.com April 8, 7 p.m. Cost: Adults $50, children $30
Kehillas Torah (858) 829-9648 April 8, 7:45 p.m. Cost: $50 Call or email bledermansdccd@gmail.com for the location and to R.S.V.P.
Chabad of Carmel Valley 11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego, CA 92130 (858) 333-4613 chabadcv.com April 8, 7 p.m., April 9, 7:30 p.m. Cost: Adults $55, children $25 Must RSVP at chabadcv.com/3290283 or rabbi@chabadcv.com
Temple Beth Shalom 208 Madrona Street Chula Vista, CA 91910 (619) 420-6040 Arlene: (858) 344-5632 bethshalomtemple.com April 9, 6:30 p.m. Cost: Adults $30, children free
Chabad of San Marcos and CSUSM 649 Shady Lane San Marcos, CA 92078 (760) 481-7503 alefcenter.com April 8, 7 p.m. Cost: Adults $45, children $25, students free RSVP by April 1
Chabad of Oceanside/Vista 1930 Sunset Drive Vista, CA 92081 (760) 806-7765 jewishoceanside.com April 8, 7 p.m. Cost: Adults $55, children under 10 $30, children under 3 free
Chabad of La Jolla 909 Prospect Street, Suite 224 La Jolla, CA 92037 (858) 455-5433 chabadoflajolla.com April 7 and 8 Call to RSVP and get more details
Chabad of Chula Vista Otay Ranch Chula Vista, CA 91913 (619) 836-0770 jewishchulavista.com/passover April 8, 6:30 p.m. Cost: Adults $36, children $15
Beth Jacob Congregation 4855 College Avenue San Diego, CA 92115 bjsd.org/events (619) 287-9890 April 8, 8 p.m.
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Orthodox
Conservative
Temple Beth Shalom of Temecula 28600 Mercedes Street, Suite 102 Temecula, CA 92590 (951) 679-0419 tbstemecula.org April 9, 10 a.m. April 10, 7:30 p.m. April 11, 10 a.m. April 16, 10 a.m. Services are free. A donation is recommended Ohr Shalom Synagogue 2512 Third Avenue San Diego, CA 92103 ohrshalom.org (619) 231-1456 April 9 (RSVP by April 3) Cost: Members: adults $40, children $20. Non-members: adults $50, children $30 Temple Isaiah & Temple Sinai 332 W. Alejo Road Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 325-2281 templeisaiahps.com April 8, 6 p.m. Cost: Members: adults $65, children up to 12 $35. Non-members: adults $85, children up to 12 $45
Ner Tamid Synagogue 12348 Casa Avenida Poway, CA 92064 (858) 513-8330 nertamidsd.org April 9, 6 p.m. Cost: $25 per person
Reform Congregation Beth Israel 9001 Towne Centre Drive San Diego, CA 92122 (858) 535-1111 cbisd.org April 8, 6 p.m. Cost: Members and guests $45, nonmembers $48, children 6-12 $18, children 5 and under $8 Temple Adat Shalom 15905 Pomerado Road Poway, CA 92064 (858) 451-1200 adatshalom.com April 9, 6 p.m. Cost: Adults $45, non-member adults $52, children 5-12 $27, non-member children $30, children 5 and under $5. RSVP at adatshalom.com/event/ passover-seder1.html
Humanistic Kahal Am: The Humanistic Jewish Community of San Diego Elijah’s Restaurant: 7061 Clairemont Mesa Boulevard San Diego, CA 92111 (858) 549-3088 kahalam.org April 11, 12-3 p.m. Cost: Members older than 12 $38, nonmembers older than 12 $48, member and non-members 6 to 11 $15, children under 6 free RSVP by April 5
Other Congregation B’nai Tikvah Park Avenue Community Center: 210 E. Park Avenue Escondido, CA 92025 (760) 650-2262 bnaitikvahsd.com April 8, 6 p.m. Cost: Adults $60, children $20, active military $20, table rate of 8-9 people $400 San Diego Outreach Synagogue Morgan Run Club and Resort: 5960 Cancha de Golf Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 (858) 280-6331 sdo-synagogue.org April 9, 6 to 9 p.m. Cost: Adults $75, children 12 and under $38
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 41
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| FEATURE |
Avodah to Launch Service Corps Initiative in San Diego in Partnership with JFS BY ALEX WEHRUNG
I
n 2018, a delegation of 17 Jewish organizations visited detention centers along the U.S./Mexico border, where they saw children separated from their families and people being denied basic necessities. One of these visiting organizations was Avodah, a service organization founded in Brooklyn in 1998 by Rabbi David Rosenn after he graduated from rabbinical school; the organization’s name means ‘work’ or ‘service’ in Hebrew. “[He] looked around and said, ‘There is a Jesuit service corps, there is a Quaker service corps, there are a lot of different service corps. Why doesn’t the Jewish community have this as well?’” Cheryl Cook, CEO of Avodah, said. Avodah empowers young Jewish leaders to ignite social change via its Jewish Service Corps program, which has been running for 21 years. The program sends college-aged young-adult volunteers to certain cities to work at nonprofits, fighting against poverty and for social justice; they have already worked in Washington, D.C., New Orleans, New York, Kansas City and Chicago. “We believe that Jewish leaders have the power to help change our country for the better,” Cheryl said. After its 2018 trip to the border, Avodah decided to help reform the system, and that San Diego would become its sixth program city (as well as its first on the west coast). It will send an initial 10 corps members to work at Jewish Family Services (JFS) in summer
2020, with the hope of being able to send up to 20 in the near-future. “When Avodah approached JFS about launching in San Diego, we were eager to collaborate,” said Michael Hopkins, CEO of JFS. “Over the past year, we have met to outline the most pressing issues facing the San Diego region, introduced Avodah to our local partners and co-hosted a friend-raiser to build community support and momentum.” The Avodah volunteers are set to be welcomed into the office of JFS’s Joan and Irwin Jacobs campus. “In launching Avodah San Diego, we are building a pipeline of leaders in the region that will impact the local Jewish community and its work toward social justice for many years to come … We are especially looking forward to having a significant local impact on the current immigration-related issues facing San Diego–one of the main points of entry for refugees, asylum-seekers and other immigrants–as more people are fleeing their home countries for safety and freedom than ever before,” Cheryl is quoted in a press release. Avodah hopes to build and strengthen a network of Jewish leaders who are eager to support immigrants and refugees by bringing the Jewish Service Corps to San Diego. Cheryl estimates that approximately 85 percent of former Avodah corps members go on to start careers involving anti-poverty and social justice work.
As part of the initiative, the Avodah corps members will perform tasks for the benefit of JFS’s Safe Parking and Refugee Resettlement programs. The Safe Parking program provides a parking lot for individuals and families living out of their cars as a safe place to stay at night, along with other resources aimed at ending their homelessness. The Refugee Resettlement program provides a variety of services (such as case management, translation, immigration, etc.) to refugees, asylum seekers and those with Special Immigrant Visas, with the goal of helping them settle in the United States. The corps members will receive the same training as JFS employees, including newhire orientation and training centered around the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). “Each program will then provide specialized training to ensure each Service Corps member is equipped with the knowledge and tools for their unique role,” Michael said. “Each Avodah Service Corps member will have scheduled check-ins with their direct supervisor and participate in ongoing team meetings and trainings.” In the past, Avodah members have carried out such work as performing legal intake and keeping records of clients, so that organizations can determine how best to serve the people who require their services. “Avodah, and other national service corps programs, attract passionate individuals who are committed to making a positive impact Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 43
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Tikkun Olam —On Repairing the World Part 2: Jewish Poverty is Not an Oxymoron BY BETH SIRULL
I
was at a meeting a couple days ago and it happened yet again: The conversation turned to the pressing issue of poverty in this country. One of the people around the table said, “Poverty is not an issue in the Jewish community. Of course, American Jews are not all wealthy, but they are not poor either.” I beg to disagree. Early in 2019, The Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Foundation published a study entitled “Jewish Poverty in the United States: A Summary of Recent Research.” The study included a meta-analysis of available national and regional studies of poverty in the Jewish community as well as qualitative research with 70 community leaders working at Jewish Federations, nonprofits, and foundations across the country. While the study is not exhaustive, and the different studies examined use varying definitions of both a Jew and poverty, the results are certainly directionally accurate. According to two national studies, between 16% and 20% of Jewish households in the United States earn less than $30,000 annually; 7% earn less than $15,000. Approximately 20% of Jewish households report that they are “just managing” or “just getting by,” suggesting that there is a significant group of Jewish households in the country that need help. Not surprisingly, poverty in the Jewish community is concentrated among older adults, the less-educated, those who work part-time, people with disabilities, single women and immigrants. In May 2019, here in San Diego, the Jewish Community Foundation (JCF), Jewish Family Service (JFS), the Jewish Federation of San Diego County (JFed) and the Isakow Foundation joined forces to gather information on poverty in the local Jewish com-
munity. We wanted to learn more about the scope of poverty in San Diego’s Jewish community and understand the efforts currently underway to address these needs. Most importantly, we wanted to identify unfilled needs and begin developing approaches to alleviate the impacts of existing poverty in San Diego’s Jewish community as well as greatly reduce the incidence of poverty in our community. The last comprehensive study of the San Diego Jewish community was conducted nearly twenty years ago. Clearly that is too long ago and a thorough research effort into the local Jewish community is necessary. But, done right, such an effort will take at least one year. Those in need can’t wait. Accordingly, we hired a researcher to scour existing data locally, regionally and nationally and (as methodologically feasible) to extrapolate data to inform our thinking about poverty in the local Jewish community. In addition, the team conducted interviews with rabbis, social workers and other staff likely to have knowledge about the poor people in our community. And, most importantly, the team met with fellow Jews living in poverty in San Diego. This research suggests at least 4,500 Jewish households, of the approximately 50,000 Jewish households in San Diego County, live on less than $25,000 per year. Another 5,000 Jewish households in the county can barely make ends meet. Despite stereotypes and myths, one thing is clear: As Jews, we are not exempt from the challenges of poverty in our community, nor the requirement to address them. Our tradition is equally clear: “I command you to open your hand to your brother, to the poor and the needy of your land (Deut.
15:11). The Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch) suggests that we should give in concentric circles. The poor in your family take precedence over the poor in someone else’s family; local poor take precedence over their counterparts in faraway places. It is on all of us in the San Diego Jewish community to meet the needs of the poor among us. While there are a number of organizations serving the poor, including the Jewish poor, including Jewish Family Service, Interfaith Community Services, and G’mach Jewish Gift Closet, as well as synagogues, private foundations and individuals helping out on a case-by-case basis, combined these efforts likely touch just a portion of the Jewish community and they undoubtedly don’t address all the needs. In late February of this year, the four organizations that undertook the local research (JCF, JFed, JFS and the Isakow Foundation) co-hosted the first community-wide convening to discuss these findings and brainstorm approaches to addressing them. This convening was just a first step. There will be other sessions, opportunities to contribute ideas, volunteer time and donate resources. If you are struggling and need help, if would like to receive a copy of the working group’s report on poverty in the Jewish community in San Diego, or if you would like to learn more about this emerging effort, please email Darren Schwartz, Chief Planning and Strategy Officer at the Jewish Federation, at DarrenS@jewishinsandiego.org or call him at (858) 737-7157. A Beth Sirull is the President and CEO of the Jewish Community Foundation of San Diego, Miriam and Jerome Katzin Presidential Chair
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 45
46 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
Getting To The Finish Line At The Seder BY RABBI JACOB RUPP
O
ne of the greatest challenges we face as Jews (sorry, no coronavirus or anti-Semitism rant here) is finding life and newness in our millennia-old traditions. We sit down at the Seder and … talk. About slavery and freedom, bondage and liberation. The culmination of Seder (for those of us who are sober enough and still awake) is Hallel (which is a collection of psalms) that surrounds the meal and the after blessing. That should be surprising because for most Jews, the highlight of the Seder isn’t hallel. I’d venture that most people don’t even know what hallel is. All of the cleaning, the stories, the cute kids’ projects, the wine and all of the other props and parts of the Seder are all there to support and deliver a message: the Jewish definition of freedom. I remember growing up that we would learn about all of the other forms of slavery in the world, the addiction and human trafficking, etc. And while of course all of those challenges need to be understood and focused on, dare I say the Seder isn’t the time for that. The Seder is the time when we drive toward one singular point: what freedom means from a Jewish perspective. I want to deviate slightly for a moment to refine and address why I have to highlight “Jewish perspective.” After all, what’s wrong with freedom from a humanistic or universal perspective? Nothing! You just don’t need the Seder for that. We aren’t just looking for a case study when we recount the exodus from Egypt. If so, we could easily pick another epoch in Jewish history, or really any epoch in any history. As I get older and learn more, I am filled with such a tremendous appreciation for so many of the worlds’ cultures and ideology. I am hard-pressed to find a movement, ideology, religion, or political party that doesn’t have elements or ideas that can enhance my life or teach me something (sorry if that was offensive in our so highly polarized political environment). As I learn to respect and appreciate all cultures, it leads
me back to a crucial idea: what’s unique and special about my culture and religion (i.e the Jewish one) that is ours alone to share to the world? The narrative of the Exodus from Egypt is unique and important to impart the lesson of Jewish freedom. Jewish freedom specifically was that element that was delivered to us at the end of the Pesach story. It is timeless and it is profound. It is so important that even if we already knew it, we’d still need to discuss it. Even if we knew it last year, we’d still need it this year. Even if we understood it yesterday, we still need it today. What’s fascinating here is that the Haggadah has anticipated our issue from the outset; going through the motions and telling the story as its recorded is precisely the thing we need to understand the Jewish perspective. That is why the beginning of the Seder starts out by talking about how the great rabbis would spend all night discussing the Exodus (even though surely, they already understood it), and why it is incumbent upon us never to forget what we are learning. We talk about going out of Egypt all the time; twice daily when we recite the Shema, whenever we say kiddush on shabbat or holidays, and then one big deep dive over the festival of Passover. The Exodus of Egypt is a love story where G-d took us out of Egypt. Us. We the Jewish people are special. We are unique. There’s only one Jewish people and there’s only one of each of us. So we have to start there. We have to fundamentally recognize and appreciate that we are special and unique with a unique past and a unique history. As individual people, we are unique AND SPECIAL. That’s not an understatement nor some positive psychology nonsense. If you can’t start with a basic appreciation that you are unique with a special mission and honor your individuality, from a Jewish perspective, you are lost. Secondly and ultimately, the culmination of the Exodus story was that G-d gave us the ability to be unique–to actualize our
spiritual potential. We were able to manifest ourselves in our most elevated spiritual form. We could do the mitzvot, we could go to Israel, we could build the Temple, we could live at a level where we had complete clarity as to the right thing to do, and live with a focused and enduring sense of purpose that our lives had meaning and what we does fundamentally matters to G-d and the world. Boom. That’s it. More than any other time of the year, the lesson of Jewish freedom is that you are unique (yes you, with your filthy mouth and your cellulite!), holy, special, and G-d actually steps into your life with the instruction manual to live a life of meaning. Meaning! That’s it. It’s like the best thing you can do, the right thing for right now is to eat matza. That’s the most important thing you can be doing right now. You don’t need to go get your MBA, lose 15 lbs, or hire a virtual assistant. Right now, the most important you can do is to do exactly what’s in front of you. I can’t overstate how crucial this concept is, nor the long-term psychological value of living your purpose in the moment. This is everything. And when you can deep down connect to the idea that you’re living your best life–right now–the natural response is that tremendous gratitude and praise should burst forth from your deepest essence. When you’re in line with yourself and the world, all you can do is be thankful for the opportunity for your life. That’s what the Hallel section of the Seder is all about. Verses of praise and thanksgiving to G-d for creating us unique and lining us up with our purpose. And it’s so hard to stay aligned, and it’s such a fundamental feeling that should rivet you and ground you that you need to repeat it a lot. Like twice a day, and on Shabbat and the holidays and really go deep into it on Passover. It’s not an ethereal thought, or some intellectual game. It’s real. And it’s yours. A
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 47
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Alone, Yet Together BY RABBI LEINOW
I
imagine many of you are experiencing a sense of loss as we enter the Passover celebration period. In the past, Passover was a celebration of freedom, but this year the holiday represents a feeling of restriction. We are being forced to give up our freedom by an invisible biological enemy. It has entered our community creating illness and death. Some people may say it is the result of government neglect, and others would describe what is happening is nature forcing us humans to be aware of what happens when we ignore the balance between human needs, greed and nature. My personal loss is that this Apr. 8,
2020, would have been my 60th synagogue First Night Seder as a Rabbi. Recently I thought I would be unable to conduct my 60th Seder this year. Fortunately, we live in a modern world which has created new ways of overcoming obstacles. My first hope is that modern medicine has mastered control over the disease which has taken lives in the past few months. My second hope is that everyone reading this article will join with me at the Virtual Reality Seder which is being prepared by members of my synagogue. The Virtual Reality Seder of congregation B’nai Tikvah will be conducted by Cantor Larry and me and will be posted on You-
tube. It will be an opportunity for anyone who is at home and wants to experience a Seder to connect to our Seder online. The Virtual Seder will be filled with singing songs and family fun. You will not be alone because we will reach out with a communal traditional-modern celebration. Here is how you do it: During the week starting on April 8, 2020, to connect with our Seder go online to: youtube.com/ NorthSanDiegoCongregationB’naiTikvah–then follow the directions. I look forward to celebrating with you. Happy Passover to you all. Visit our website bnaitikvahsd.com for more information.A
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 49
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Achieving Personal Freedom: The Deeper Message of Passover BY RABBI YERUCHEM EILFORT
A
s Pesach (Passover) approaches we begin to prepare our homes, families, and communities for the singular holiday of Jewish liberation, for the ‘Time of Our Freedom’, as it is also known. The Torah commands to rid our property of every last vestige of Chametz /leavened products. Here in the Diaspora, we will avoid all products that are made from grains other than Matzah for eight days plus. Why do we avoid the leavened products and why do we specifically eat Matzah? The Torah commands us to remind ourselves of the Exodus from Egypt that our ancestors underwent some 3,300 years ago. We are likewise told that if they had not left Egypt that we and our children would still be slaves until this very day. The Matzah that we eat reminds us of the haste with which our ancestors departed the land of Mitzraim, which is how Egypt is called in Hebrew. The Chametz represents haughtiness, arrogance, and indeed many of our negative personality traits, which must be thoroughly eradicated for us to become truly free. And why is it that we make a point of remembering the Exodus every year for 3,300 years? Our Sages tell us that we emphasize this episode in our shared history because it behooves us to understand that we first needed to be free of Egyptian servitude before we could become truly free to serve the Almighty Creator. Remember, merely 50 days after leaving Egypt, the Jewish Nation stood at the foot of Mount Sinai and received the Torah directly from G-d. All of the above applies to us as part of
a Nation. But why is it so important for each of us, as individuals, to observe these restrictive observances? We shall answer by first asking another question. The first Rebbe of the Chabad Movement, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, wrote in the Tanya (the foundational work of Chabad Chasidic Philosophy) that at first glance it seems strange that the Torah describes the departure from Egypt as an escape and that the people hastened to leave. At first the Jews told Pharaoh that they would be leaving for three days to serve the L-rd in the desert, but that once out of Egypt they ‘escaped’. The Rebbe asks, “Had they demanded of Pharaoh that he set them free forever, would he not have been forced to do so (as he had been stricken by the Plagues)?” His answer is deeply profound and relates to each of us, even today, or perhaps better said, especially today. He explains that the Jews had to escape/ run away from Egypt because they still had the evil influence of Egypt residing in them. They had not yet been successful in expunging the darkness of the Egyptian Exile from their consciousness. In fact, we see that the darkness would not be fully expelled for a long time, to the extent that the generation that left Egypt would not be the generation that would enter the Holy Land. The Jews had been taken out of Egypt, but Egypt had not yet been taken out of the Jews! Many of us struggle with our personal exiles. We find ourselves enslaved to inner negative inclinations which make us feel distant from G-d and consequently
depressed. This inner-generated sadness makes our lives difficult, particularly when we remember that G-d wants us to serve Him with joyfulness. How can I feel joyful when I feel so distant from G-d, so entrapped within my own shortcomings, animalistic tendencies and appetites? The answer that the Rebbe so eloquently offers is that while it may be true that we have negative energy that makes us feel different from the Almighty, we also have a G-dly spark, a soul Neshama in Hebrew that is pure and divine. When we focus on that spark and nurture it through studying Torah and doing Mitzvot, we automatically will overcome the melancholy and achieve a true, lasting, and powerful joy! It is that joy that enables us to leave our individual Egypt and which provides the fuel to get us to the Promised Land with the Torah in our hands. Once we have the Torah, once we study it and incorporate its teaching in our lives, even the last vestiges of Egyptian influence will be permanently banished from within us. This year when preparing for Pesach and when sitting at the Seder table, remember this message. Fulfill these precious commandments with vitality and positive energy and then we will truly be ready for the ultimate Redemption with our Righteous Moshiach speedily in our days! A Rabbi Eilfort is Director of Chabad at La Costa and welcomes readers’ comments and questions. He may be reached at RabbiE@ChabadatLaCosta.com.
Nissan / Iyar 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 51
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Their Gigs Canceled By The Coronavirus, Jewish Performers And Educators Innovate Online BY GABE FRIEDMAN, JTA NEWS
A
s a freelance Jewish educator, musician and consultant, Eliana Light knows the coronavirus outbreak puts her line of work in a precarious situation. Instead of being hired to perform at synagogues, or getting invited to be an artist in residence at Jewish centers around the country, she will have to adapt as cities enact quarantine and social distancing policies–and just like freelance performers and small businesses in other industries, she could lose a lot of her traditional business. But the whole ordeal has had the opposite than expected effect on her. “Personally, I’ve gotten up the past couple of days with more energy and excitement than I have in a long time,” Light said on a Zoom call from her home base, a Moishe House in Durham, North Carolina. “I did the elliptical for two hours this morning … That’s not me, I’m not that person usually!” She has big goals she now plans to tackle in the coming months, and thinks the Jewish community will emerge stronger than ever from the trying time. “I think big shifts like this help us as individuals and as a community sort out our priorities, what matters to us, what’s important in life,” she said. “All of a sudden, all of my gigs get canceled, it’s time to do all the things you want to do … more professional development, clergy training, layleader training, one-on-one training and consulting, a podcast, a new album.” Light, 29, who records albums of original Jewish folk music in addition to performing and leading services in a variety of ways, is one of several young Jewish artists and spiritual leaders hoping that they will retain an audience as they shift their work online, in the form of Zoom calls, Facebook Live sessions and other forums. Unlike the many synagogues and large organizations that have at least somewhat of a built-in audience, Light and her cohort will have to get creative and do a lot of online outreach. The program brainstorming and decision making process is happening in real time, as the virus’ spread accelerates each day and forces more people online for their Jewish learning needs. Hours before being called for this article, Light and some of her friends, including Chava Mirel, Rachel Goldberg and Rabbi Alexis Pinsky, formed what they are calling the Mispacha Collective. Their debut online
event, which they’re dubbing the World Synagogue Sing, is set to take place Sunday. On Thursday, on a bit of a whim, Light tried running an impromptu morning shacharit prayer service through Facebook Live and was overwhelmed by the response. In addition to the 1,000-plus views, many people donated to Light through a PayPal account. The individual donations ranged from about $3 to $54. Light thinks people understand the difficulties that freelancers and small businesses are going through and that their situation could get worse the longer the pandemic wears on. “People don’t want to support the thing that you create, they want to support you,” Light said. “I’m not even worried about money; I know we’re going to figure it out.” Light is far from alone in these endeavors. Jewish kids’ performer Joanie Leeds is offering “Quarantine Kids Concerts” each afternoon. Interested viewers will pay a subscription fee through PayPal or Venmo to access a private Facebook group. Josh Nelson, Noah Aronson, Shira Kline, Elana Arian and Rabbi Leora Kaye are offering a “Quarantine Shabbat,” or Shabbat service via Facebook Live. Lex Rofeberg and his Judaism Unbound group has started a Facebook page that gathers many of these online offerings in one place. There are challenges for Light and others in her field, who are used to thriving off of in-person interactions at their performances in moving online. For instance, Light noted that the steep increase in screen time has hurt her eyes. She also finds it alienating at times to not be able to see her audience as she plays guitar. There are technical obstacles too, such as the lag that often occurs during a Zoom call, depending on everyone’s internet connection. Light’s in the process of hooking up a better quality microphone to her computer and downloading software to help with the delays. But overall, Light is full of enthusiasm about the potential that online work offers and the new audiences around the world that she could reach. “I hope we don’t go back to the way things were, [and] call each other even more and share our resources and support each other,” she said. “Hopefully we get back to something even better than it was before.” A
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entertainment
| By Eileen Sondak
Bloom Bash at the San Diego Museum of Art.
Editor’s Note: At time of printing, gatherings of 50+ are prohibited through the end of March and resuming in April. This may change as this situation continues to develop. Art Alive, the San Diego Museum of Art’s annual fundraiser, will return for its 39th year April 23–26. The weekend of activities features about 100 floral artists interpreting famous works of art. The centerpiece of the event is Bloom Bash, a festive evening that gives supporters an opportunity to dine on delicacies prepared by 45 restaurants while they admire the magnificent floral fantasy on display in the galleries. Broadway-San Diego is staging the Broadway megahit “Frozen” at the Civic Theater through April 12. The Disney musical promises an unforgettable theatrical experience marked by sumptuous sets, sensational special effects and stunning costumes. The show is a must-see for audiences six years old and older. Nederlander presents Baby Shark Live! at the Balboa Theater on April 4, followed on April 8–9 by Broadway San Diego’s musical parody, “The Office.” The Balboa will round out the month on April 25 with Patton Oswalt’s “I Love Everything,” presented by Live Nation. The San Diego Opera will bring “The Barber of Seville” to the Civic Center on April 25. Figaro and his wiles will delight opera-goers with hilarious pranks, mistaken identities and other forms of tomfoolery in this popular Rossini opera, through May 3. The Old Globe’s Main Stage is featuring a new version of the beloved classic, “Little Women.” This collaboration with Dallas Theater Center honors the spirit of Alcott’s original story while interpreting it with a fresh eye for a new era. The show will keep audiences entertained through April 19. The Globe’s White Theater’s riveting West Coast premiere of “Faceless” continues through April 26.The plot deals with an American teenager who left her home and family to join ISIS. “Faceless” paints a compelling portrait of a troubled young woman, her father and the attorneys who battle over her future. The play comes with a warning for its strong language, so be prepared. The Globe will celebrate the Bard’s birthday on April 18 with a free family day event that includes
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“Williams Unscripted” at North Coast Rep.
games and birthday cake. The San Diego Symphony will start off the month on April 3–5 with Rachmaninoff 3, a three-piece concert that includes a celebration of the career of one of the greatest living composers, Sofia Gubaidulina. Along with her Fairytale Poem, the performance will feature Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3 and Shostakovich’s famous Symphony No. 5. Maestro Rafael Payare will conduct, with pianist Alexander Gavrylyuk as guest artist. Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 13–a sparkling showcase for rising star Mackenzie Melemed–is next on April 14. The Fox Film Series continues on April 17 with “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” (Part 1). “Coltrane x 2: Giant Steps + Blue Train in Concert” follows on April 25. This pairing is a tribute to saxophone master John Coltrane. Take the kids to “Gold Rush: An American Musical Adventure” on April 26. This family concert includes pre-concert activities for the small-fry set. North Coast Repertory Theater is reviving Harold Pinter’s masterpiece, “The Homecoming” for a month-long run on April 8. Directed by David Ellenstein, the enduring play is set in an all-male household that relies on fantasy and one-upmanship for its very existence. Pinter explores issues about power, sexuality and self-identity in this powerful drama. You can see it play out on NCR’s Solana Beach stage through May 3. The troupe’s Variety Nights continue on April 28 with Tuesday Night Comics, hosted by Mark Christopher Lawrence. Frank Ferrante in “An Evening with Groucho” will tickle local funny bones April 13–14. Impro Theater’s “Williams Unscripted” will give audiences a taste of Tennessee Williams’ style of splendid storytelling on April 20. Cygnet Theater is offering the funny and flamboyant musical, “La Cage Aux Folles.” The fast-paced extravaganza deals with two men coming to terms with family problems after 20 years of un-wedded bliss. The show will have audiences rolling in the aisles through May 3, under the astute direction of Sean Murray. The Lamb’s Players is presenting a musical based on Lewis Carroll’s beloved tale, “Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.” “Alice” is an imaginative adaptation of the
brilliant story, aimed at entertaining everyone in the family. The show will stay on at the Lamb’s Coronado home through April 12. Following on its heels is a tour de force about one of America’s foremost writers, Emily Dickinson. Titled “The Belle of Amherst,” the show features Cynthia Gerber as the distinctive writer. The award-winning play will take up residency at the Lamb’s Coronado home April 25 through June 7. Coronado Playhouse is presenting Ken Ludwig’s farcical delight, “Moon Over Buffalo” at its waterfront theater on Coronado. The show will run through April 19. What a treat for the legions of Ludwig fans around town! Following this whimsical work is “Closer than Ever,” a Cabaret show with music by David Shire and Lyrics by Richard Maltby, Jr. Performances run April 23-26. La Jolla Music Society will feature jazz pianist “Christian Sands–3 Pianos: Erroll Garner Tribute” on April 3 at the Concert Hall, followed on April 18 by Hubbard Street Dance Chicago at the Spreckels Theater. The Hagen Quartet will perform in the Concert Hall on April 24 as part of the Revelle Chamber Music Series, and pianist Zoltan Fejervari will round out the month on April 26 with a performance at the Hall highlighting J.S. Bach, Ravel, and Chopin. San Diego Junior Theater is ready to unveil its production of “Matilda” on April 24. The amusing tale (based on Roald Dahl’s book) is a musical that should be a perfect choice for everyone in the family. The show will be ensconced at the Casa del Prado through May 10. The Museum of Art is showcasing “Juan Sanchez Colan & Cauleen Smith: Mystical Time & Deceptive Light,” an exhibition that features a video installation. The show will remain at the museum through June 21. Birch Aquarium is highlighting “Turtleversary,” the fifth anniversary celebration of the arrival of a rescued Loggerhead sea turtle. “Seadragons & Seahorses” is a permanent exhibition. “Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory, is also on view. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz, and another exhibition that helps you understand Scripps’ expeditions to discover and protect the planet. “Expedition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities. Another interesting exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet. Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species. This time of year, you can enjoy whale watching cruises as well. The Reuben Fleet Science Center will be showing a new film, “Great Bear Rainforest,” along with “Cuba,” a fascinating look at the island nation, “Turtle Odyssey” (narrated by Russell Crowe), “Superpower Dogs,” (which is about the bravery and prowess of some of the world’s most remarkable dogs) and “Volcanoes: The Fires of Creation” (which examines the contribution of volcanoes to the wildlife ecosystem and their im-
pact on humans). Also at the Fleet is the “Renegade Science Project,” which escorts visitors through the park for a 90-minute exploration. Its newest exhibition, “Sun, Earth, Universe,” is an interactive exhibit that explores the world of space science and astronomy. z is offering “Dream, Design, Build”–an exhibition that explores the museum’s collection of interactive engineering activities, “Mindbender Mansion” and “Taping Shape 2.0,” which uses hundreds of rolls of packing tape to create a world of translucent spaces and tunnels. The Fleet has several other permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Studio X,” “Block Busters” and “Origins in Space.” The newest is “It’s Electric,” an interactive show that explores the fundamentals of electricity. The Natural History Museum is captivating audiences with “Escape the Nat”–an escape room experience that dares you to solve puzzles and save the world. The 3-D films include “Museum Alive” (a behind the scenes look at the museum) and “Dinosaurs of Antarctica.” “Hidden Gems” is another attraction. “Coast to Cactus in California,” and “Unshelved: Cool Stuff from Storage”–a display of specimens from around the world–are also worth checking out. “Living Lab” (featuring our creepy, crawly neighbors) is on view, along with a photographic exhibit titled “Insects Face to Face.” Both are expected to remain at the Nat through September. The Timken Museum of Art has a new exhibition titled “Captivating Women from the Dykstra Collection.” The exhibition– marking the 100th anniversary of the women’s rights amendment–will remain on view through May 10. San Diego Air and Space Museum is featuring “Space: Our Greatest Adventure.” The New Children’s Museum has a colorful interactive textile environment to amuse the small-fry set. Dubbed Whammock, the intricate installation (designed by artist Toshiko Horiuchi MacAdam) invites kids to climb, play and have fun. The San Diego History Center is featuring the first exhibition in Balboa Park exploring San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community. The History Museum’s permanent exhibition, “Placed Promises,” chronicles the history of the San Diego region. And the America’s Cup Exhibition highlights the sailing race held in San Diego three times since 1988. The Museum of Man is now fully open after a year-long closure, and tours for the California Tower are available. Among the exhibits are “Cannibals: Myth & Reality” and “PostSecret.” The museum’s concert series continues on April 4 with “The HillBenders Present: WhoGrass. “Instrument Exploration: The Human Voice” is next on April 16–featuring singers from the San Diego Opera. Peter Sprague and Sinne Eeg team up for some Brazilian bossa nova on April 18, followed on April 30 by “Songbirds,” a program of women in song.A
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the news March of the Living 2020 Postponed Due to Coronavirus Due to the international spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus, the 2020 March of the Living in Poland will be postponed. The organization will launch a new initiative to combat anti-Semitism and racism, using the slogan “Never Means Never.” “After consulting with the relevant health bodies and officials, it is with a heavy heart that we are forced to announce the postponement of this year’s March of the Living in Poland,” said Dr. Shmuel Rosenman, March of the Living World Chair. “Our primary concern is the health of the many participants and the Holocaust survivors who would be joining them.” The march has been re-occurring since 1988, whereupon Jewish and non-Jewish youth from around the world walk 3.2 kilometers along the railroad tracks that lead from Auschwitz to Birkenau.
Coronavirus Cancellations Prompt Food Donations Following the cancellation of its annual Young Leadership LA Gala due to coronavirus, Friends of the Israel Defense Forces (FIDF) donated the food purchased for the event to Meals on Wheels and the Downtown Women’s Center in Los Angeles. Meals on Wheels addresses senior isolation and hunger, and the Downtown Women’s Center serves women who have been or are homeless. FIDF donated over 250 pounds of food to these organizations. “It was important to us that the food purchased did not go to waste as we knew there were people who could benefit immensely from such a donation. The food donation enabled us to give back to our local community at a time when it is needed most,” said Jenna Griffin, the executive director of FIDF Western Region. The Food Recovery Network is also taking donated surplus food and providing it to people who do not have proper access to food at this time. The Network is a nonprofit organization that has over 200 student chapters working on its behalf across the United States. From 2016-2017, the Network recovered over 240,000 pounds of food in Southern California.
Adopt a Family Foundation Annual Gala Postponed The Adopt a Family Foundation has decided to postpone its annual gala from Mar. 29 to Sept. 13. Reservations for “Voice of a Mother” will be carried over to the new date and registration of new guests will resume around the middle of August.
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The Foundation provides financial and emotional support to Israeli citizens and families–including children–who have been affected by the conflict.
California State Parks Provide $254.9 Million for Park Development On Feb. 25, California State Parks announced it would provide $254.9 million for 62 grants to 52 recipients, as part of the Statewide Park Development and Community Revitalization Grant Program. “We want to make parks accessible for all Californians so that
families and friends can not only bond and connect with nature, but also celebrate their cultural differences,” said Lisa Mangat, the California State Parks director. “Through these exciting grant projects, residents in 62 underserved communities will have closeto-home access to a vibrant park for their physical, social and environmental health.” Some California counties that will benefit from the funds include Alameda County, Kings County, Lake County, Los Angeles County and San Joaquin County.
Jewish Federation of San Diego Opens COVID -19 Emergency Fund Jewish Federation of San Diego County president and CEO Michael Jeser announced that the Federation has opened an emergency fund to help those who have been affected by coronavirus. In particular, the fund is meant to help seniors who have become isolated and lonely, as well as Jewish communal professionals whose income will be diminished on account of the virus. If other issues within the Jewish community arise, the funds will be directed to address them. “You can feel proud that you are a part of an organization that is at the forefront of helping those in need,” Jeser was quoted in a press release. “We are strongest when we work together, and we are deeply grateful for your continued support.” You can make a donation at jewishsandiego.org. To learn more about coronavirus, as well as what other resources the Federation has available for the San Diego Jewish community, visit jewishinsandiego.org/our-community/covid-19-resources.
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ADVICE
ASK MARNIE by Marnie Macauley
asksadie@aol.com
A Passover Puzzlement: Parenting And Praise
D
ear Marnie: Last Passover, our 6-year-old son, Avi, as the youngest at the table asked the four questions. I know every parent thinks his child is the smartest and most adorable. But and I’m not exaggerating, Avi was truly amazing! He learned them in English and Hebrew, he stood on a chair, and when it was his turn, he put on a stellar performance! He belted out each question slowly, trying to imitate a grown-up voice. Everyone roared with laughter and we all told him that was the best reading we’d ever heard! Naturally, his “tour de force” was Facebooked and put on other social media by us, members of the family, and the myriad of friends and neighbors we invited for the first night. This year my sister Beth is having the group over to her house for the first night and she insisted that Avi ask the four questions again. When I told him, he said “No!” My husband and I were taken off-guard and we repeated it, thinking he misunderstood. Avi still looked upset and refused, even when we explained what a huge compliment this was (and by the way he’s still the youngest as his next older cousin is seven) and showed him his “reviews” on social media. Instead of being excited and proud as he seemed last year, he was upset and adamant about not saying the four questions this year. He won’t explain it when we asked. Could it be he’s only confident because he was home and is uncomfortable repeating his performance at a different house? –We’re stumped in San Diego. MARNIE SAYS: No mamala. My hunch is it’s not the house. In fact my hunch is if you asked him to repeat his stellar performance for no one, in a shed, his little head would twirl like the kid in “The Omen”. Here’s why. Who but a Pavarotti could beat what little Avi did last year? Not even Avi. He knows it. And he’s terrified to risk being “less perfect.” A quiz: The Goldstein family is taking a 58 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
car ride. Little David, age seven is in the back seat with Amy, his three-year-old sister who usually doesn’t bring out David’s happy side. Mom, in the front passenger seat hears David offer Amy a candy. Thrilled at this odd burst of generosity she turned around and said: “David! You’re the best older brother in the world!” The next sound was David clapping Amy with the bag of candy. Why? Let’s think like David. “Me? No way! I gave her the stupid candy ‘cause it was licorice. I hate licorice!” “I was just thinking about how to decapitate her bridal Barbie.” “Uh oh … now what else are they gonna expect me to do?!” So David quickly “corrected” this grossly incorrect idea by hocking his sister on the head. Which brings us to our topic for today. HOW TO PRAISE WITHOUT “PUNISHMENT” Who doesn’t love praise? Especially today, when our world is filled with chaos, overwhelming demands, impossible standards for “success” all of which changes with lightning speed? We’re incorrectly taught to want “more”–more youth, more money, more status, more hair. And most parents know that praise is more encouraging than criticism in building confidence and esteem. Sometimes. Praise is a lot like medicine. If you take too little, it won’t work. If you take too much, you may kill yourself. Ah, but the right amount makes the critical positive difference. In working with thousands of people for many decades, here are my Three Principles of Healthy Praise: Situation: You and your child are straightening out the garage. You ask him to sort the hammers by size. He did it well. Let’s see how to build praise that works. #1: Praise with specificity
Instead of overwhelming general praise that either compares him to Bob Vila or rates his personality or future (“You’re a natural mechanic!”) stay in the real lane. “I see you put the hammers together in order.” This teaches the child specifically what he did well, and he can believe that about the task and himself. “I can do that” is the correct message. #2: Praise proportionally Instead of saying “WOW. Now that you organized the hammers this garage looks fantastic!” which is untrue and he knows it. Add: “You got the sizes right. Now I can get what I need easily.” He can buy this. He learns the true relationship and value of what he’s done accurately. #3: Praise the effort and determination more than “success.” Instead of saying: “You see? You did a perfect job! Good for you!” Add: “That took patience, thinking and organization. Good for you.” You’ve now become a correct mirror showing him that he not only has these skills, but the effort is as important as the outcome. He hears, “My work really paid off. I did something new, I tried, I can learn, listen and follow directions. It was fun and appreciated. I trust myself to do more. Useful praise supports positive reality, acts as an accurate emotional mirror, lets the child develop realistic self-knowledge and encourages determination. By eliminating impossible standards and unrealistic expectations, these compliments help children grow and mature with true confidence–confidence they’ve earned, and confidence they can trust. A
The Jewish history of America’s most famous ice cream VIA JTA NEWS, ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN “THE NOSHER” BY JOANNA O’LEARY
Chunky Monkey. Rum Tres Leches. Banana Nut Fudge. Who gave the world the gift of these delectable ice cream flavor inventions? While Italian immigrants are traditionally given credit for opening the first ice cream parlors in the United States in the early 20th century, a series of savvy Jewish entrepreneurs are responsible for the development of gourmet ice cream flavors and their subsequent rise in popularity among the general public. The name Häagen-Dazs leads many to assume it to be Nordic in origin. Surprise– this internationally renowned ice cream company that has over $2 billion in sales annually was actually the brainchild of a Polish Jew named Reuben Mattus. Just after immigrating to America in the 1920s at the age of 10, along with his widowed mother, Mattus went to work for his uncle’s Italian lemon ice business in Brooklyn. By the early 1930s, the family had expanded its product line to include chocolate-covered ice cream bars, ice cream pops and ice cream sandwiches. Mattus was convinced he could deliver even higher quality ice cream to his customers, and engaged in a thorough self-education on the science and culinary methodology required to create the richest, most superior frozen confections. Mattus’ real stroke of genius, however, was his recognition that his new ultra-premium ice cream needed a certain cosmopolitan cache to make it appeal to his target audience: sophisticated, moneyed Americans. Thus he decided to give it a “foreign-sounding”
name, specifically a Danish(ish) one to pay tribute to the country’s effort to save Jews during World War II. Remarkably, at about the same time, another Jewish entrepreneur on the other side of the country was launching his own ice cream experiment. Irv Robbins, a Canadian, was self-taught, first gaining skills working in his father’s store and then teaching himself more advanced techniques while crafting ice cream as a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy during WWII. In 1945, Robbins opened the Snowbird Ice Cream parlor, in part with funds from his bar mitzvah (how’s that for foresight?) in Glendale, California, and quickly won rave reviews for the wide variety of flavors. Shortly thereafter, Robbins’ brother-in-law Bert Baskin opened his own shop, and in 1948, the fraternal pair established a joint establishment and soonto-be company Baskin-Robbins. They came full circle when, nearly 50 years later, Baskin-Robbins merged with Dunkin’ Donuts–founded by the Jewish entrepreneur William Rosenberg. Steve Herrell, whose spouse and business partner was Jewish, observed the strides made by Haagen-Dazs in broadening consumers’ tastes for ice cream and decided to capitalize on that momentum
by opening an ice cream shop in the 1970s that proffered flavors more exotic than the standard chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Located in Somerville, Massachusetts, Steve’s served then-novel varieties of creams such as chocolate pudding, cookie dough and peanut butter, as well as afforded customers the opportunity to add “mix-ins” like M&Ms, chocolate sandwich cookies, sprinkles and toffee bits. And just as Herrell was inspired by HaagenDazs, his ice cream innovations would influence other ice cream entrepreneurs, including two mensches who would arguably go on to become America’s greatest creators and purveyors of gourmet ice cream: Ben (Cohen) & Jerry (Greenfield). After witnessing firsthand Herrell perform his mix-in technique at his eponymous parlor, the dynamic duo started their scoop shop in 1978 in Burlington, Vermont. They initially followed Herrell’s style of manually incorporating different toppings, then moved on to churning out pints pre-blended with different candies, baked goods and sauces, thus paving the way for the emergence of Phish Food, Chubby Hubby and other iconic Ben & Jerry’s flavors. When it comes to ice cream, how sweet it is to be loved by Jews. A
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THE BARBER OF SEVILLE BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI
April 25, 28, May 1, and 3m, 2020 | San Diego Civic Theatre
Figaro, Figaro, Fiiiigggaarrro!
Barber by day, matchmaker by night, Figaro puts his wiles to work as he aids in creating the perfect marriage with hilarious pranks, mistaken identities, and general tomfoolery. The Barber of Seville is full of romance and laugh-out-loud moments. This production is inspired by the bold colors, the balance of comedy and melodrama, and strong female characters that populate the films of Spanish director Pedro Almodรณvar.
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62 SDJewishJournal.com | April 2020
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