In Loving Memory
TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES
Helping children triumph over grief
Children are amazingly perceptive. They sense when adults around them are stressed, sad or keeping a secret. While you may beinclined to shield children from grief, this can actually lead to confusion and anger.
Wherever possible, children should be prepared for the passing of a loved one. In the event of a terminal illness, children should beprepared for the passing just as an adult would be. Death should be approached openly and honestly. Remember that children are accustomed to adults providing solutions and will have difficulty understanding why their loved one can’t be made well again. Explaining the process of death, perhaps with the assistance of suitable books, is a healthier approach than denying the tragedy. Although naturally resilient, it should not be assumed that children will be unaffected by death. They may experience any or all of the following:
Anger
Children, like adults, may feel rage at the deceased person, other relatives or themselves. They may even resent acquaintances who have not had to suffer through the anguish of losing a loved one.
Fear
Whenever a loss occurs, people affected are reminded that they, too, will die. It is no different in children, although it may be their first time realizing the permanence of death. They may fear their own death, or the death of others. If the deceased person was a parent, they may begin to fear that other caregivers will pass away too.
Sadness
Children experience deep sadness and even depression. They may not have experienced this level of pain before, making their feelings unrecognizable to them. Grief also manifests in physical
symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches and fatigue.
Confusion
Children may not understand where the deceased person has gone and why, especially if they are too young to understand the concept of death. They may also have trouble adjusting to life without the person who has passed away, especially if that person was part of their day-to-day.
Guilt
Guilt is a natural part of grief. Children may worry that something they did or said caused the death. They could also regret not spending more time with the deceased before they passed away.
Level of involvement
Older children should be allowed to choose their level of involvement with regards to attending the funeral. They may want to write a poem, say a few words, lay a rose on the coff in, scatter ashes or wear a favorite outfit. This should be allowed wherever possible, even if it is not in keeping with the ideals of the funeral service.
Viewing of the body should be a personal decision and is probably not suited to younger children. It may be best if the loved one is remembered as when they were alive. If it is decided that the
opportunities for peace.
Involve older children in decisions surrounding the death of a close friend or relative. They may want a special keepsake and should not be overlooked when belongings are being given away. Keeping to familiar routine, especially for younger children, can be helpful but care should be taken not to push children into situations until they are ready. Allow older children suff icient time to grieve and avoid returning them to school too soon.
child will view the body, they should be carefully briefed as to what to expect.
Grasping the concept of death
Caregivers should take care to avoid talking about death as if it is “like sleeping” or “going to sleep” because this can make a young child fearful of going to bed at night. They may believe that they will not wake again in the morning. Euphemisms such as this ultimately do more harm than good. It can be stressful for guardians to cope with young children at such a solemn time. If children are attending the funeral, it is important that they are made aware of the process and what is expected of them. It should also be explained that there will be many sad people inattendance. Observing grieving adults can have a profound effect: children may be reluctant to see those people again at a later stage. Itis important to explain that although people are sad now, they won’t always be unhappy.
Letting
them grieve, their way
If it is decided that children should not attend the funeral, encourage them to say goodbye in their own way, perhaps by planting aspecial tree in the garden or letting go of a balloon covered with messages and drawings. For a close relationship, creating a special, private place where the child can go to remember the person who died can provide enduring
Encourage the child to talk about their feelings. Older children may find internet support groups helpful but online activity should becarefully monitored at this vulnerable time. If those closest are unable to provide support due to their own grief, the child should becomforted by a close adult friend, perhaps a favorite aunt or uncle. Wherever applicable, the school counselor may be able to provide advice and indeed, the school should be kept informed so that allowances can be made for changes in behavior and grades. Understand that the child who has recently been confronted by death may regress for a short while – perhaps wanting a childhood toy or adopting attention-seeking behavior. Help children release their anger appropriately. One approach could be to encourage hitting cushions. Another could be to have the child write a letter, or draw a picture to describe their anger. This can then be torn up or burnt.
Taking care of physical health
Physical health is often forgotten or given a lower priority. However, ensuring their physical needs are attended to will provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Ensure they have enough time to rest. Encourage children to eat and drink well. Exercise and playcan be the perfect way to release frustration, anger and anxiety. Above all, ensure that children understand that although this time is difficult to deal with and the loss will always be with them, the grief will pass.
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Linda V. Armor 1938-2024
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Susan (Hart) Begley 1940-2024
Garden Grove, CA
Janice Mae Borkovetz 1931-2024
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Kerry Chiemi Asao 1959-2024
Lakewood, CA
John Blair 1934-2024
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Nancy Baier 1950-2024
Dana Point, CA
Rosemarie Batchelor 1930-2024
Costa Mesa, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Constance E. Blasie 1944-2024
Huntington Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Kristine M. Bunyan 1957-2024
Mission Viejo, CA
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Ken Champion 1935-2024
Orange, CA
Hester Darlene Bradley 1960-2024 Anaheim, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Harold Eugene Burnett 1945-2024
Huntington Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
John Charles 1940-2024
Hood River, OR In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Eric Lee Brennan 1946-2024
Stamford, CT
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Henry J. Call 1937-2024
Santa Ana, CA
Fullerton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Martha E. McFarland Baxes 1940-224
Kathryn Bocker 1928-2024 Lindon, UT In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Chester “Chet” Britt 1929-2024 Laguna Woods, CA
Larry Campeau 1937-2024
Fort Collins, CO In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sabra Bordas 1943-2024
Newport Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Costa Mesa, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Louisville, KY In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Geraldine “Gerry” Louise Chase 1944-2024
Adrian, MI
Irene Theresa Chrislip 1930-2024
San Clemente, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Susan Zocca Bruner 1933-2024 Orange, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Caroline L. Chambers 1935-2024
Orange County, CA
Don Collins 1938-2024
San Juan Capistrano, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Patricia Cook 1932-2024
Fullerton, CA
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Jack Delman 2024
Hemet, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Winnie Cummings 1934-2024
San Tan Valley, AZ
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Ruth “Anne” Dorman 1951-2024
Jacqueline Elario 1936-2024
San Clemente, CA
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Huntington Beach, CA
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Mary Louise Engman 1930-2024 Orange, CA
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Albert “Bert” Paul Ferrari, Sr. 1943-2024
Murrieta, CA
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Steven Donald Foster 1948-2024
Nampa, ID
Phyllis J. Filippo 1928-2024
Huntington Beach, CA
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Philip Francis Friedrich 1941-2024
Fullerton, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving
Memory
Emmy, Mary Ellen (Mahar) Cummins 1940-2024
Fullerton, CA
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Ellen Ann Doubet 1939-2024
North Tustin, CA
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Krista E. Ericson 1972-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
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Barbara (Switzer) Firor 1931-2024
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John S. Dahlem 1943-2024
Huntington Beach, CA
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Lillian Simms Duneer 1931-2024 Visalia, CA
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Santa Ana, CA
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Beverly Ann Fruechting (Hayles) 1946-2024 Orange, CA
Carlton Dawson 1938-2024
Martin Robert Farris 1949-2024 Laguna
CA
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Jodie Fish 1930-2024
Garden Grove, CA
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Robert Fults 1938-2024
Long Beach, CA
Tuscon, AZ In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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John Edward Dunn 1937-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
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1927-2024
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Eleanor (Ellie) Flood 1930-2024
Huntington Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Diane Gates 1938-2024
Morgan, UT
Niguel,
Francisca ‘Sica’ Feddersen
Dana Point, CA
How to Support a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One
It is never easy for someone who has lost a member of the family, even when it comes at the end of a long life or a prolonged illness. The loss is always deeply felt and followed by a period of grief. Considering this, how can you help support a friend who has suffered such a loss? Here are seven simple suggestions.
1. Be there for your friend
Expressing your support by being physically present with your friend is perhaps the single most appreciated action you can take. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, many friends fail at this most basic task. Be sure to devote some time to spend with your friend in the days and weeks following the loss.
2. Don’t talk; listen
Your friend is likely experiencing a number of thoughts regarding the deceased, and you can be their sounding board. It is appropriatefor you to offer the occasional comment in order to share personal recollections, express sympathy, and provide encouragement, but most of the time you should just listen to what they have to say, and empathize with the feelings they share.
Allow your friend to work through volatile emotions, freely express grief without fear of judgment, and tell you how the deceased had an impact on his or her life.
3. Provide childcare
If your friend has children, volunteer to take care of them for an afternoon or evening. Particularly if your friend has to make funeral arrangements to handle, your offer can allow them to focus on those responsibilities without the hassle of arranging for a babysitter.
4. Drop off a meal
Prepare a home cooked meal and deliver it to your friend. There are enough things demanding their attention— preparing meals doesn’t have to be one of them. However, don’t pressure your friend to invite you to stay to share the meal. Rather than intruding on family time, simply drop the meal off and leave.
5. Show up for visitation and for the funeral
A day or two prior to many funerals, there are times designated for visitation. Often called a wake, this is an opportunity for people togather to view the body and to express their condolences to the family. Show up for at least a few minutes during one of these times,and then do your best to attend the funeral itself. If you are unable to attend the funeral in person, at least check in periodically over the phone or online.
6. Offer to help out with the reception
If your friend is responsible for organizing a reception following the funeral, volunteer your services.
There are a variety of ways
you can help out. For instance, you can offer your home as a possible location. You could also help with preparations if the reception is to be held at another location. If sandwiches or sweets are desired, you could offer to prepare some. During the reception, you could assist as a host. Afterward, stick around to help clean up.
7. Check in Grief doesn’t simply end after the funeral. In fact, after the funeral is when the journey
through grief truly begins. Check in with your friend regularly after the death. Remember the anniversary of the loss and ask your friend how you can support them on this day. Offer your company, assistance and support through the months and years to come. Allow your friend to relax and show honest emotions. Losing a loved one can be an intensely stressful and exhausting experience. Your friend should not have to put on a brave face or attend to your needs. Give them the
space and freedom they need to process the loss, even if it extends well beyond the date of the funeral.
By being sensitive to your friend’s mental and emotional state—and by taking some responsibilities upon yourself—you can help remove some of the weight from their shoulders. Your support in these ways will go a long way toward helping your friend through this time of loss.
- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY
Robert Gates 1934-2024
Morgan, UT In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Wendy S. Greene 1929-2024
Alaine Marsha (Watt) Gohn 1950-2024
Tustin, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert Lewis Horvath 1942-2024
Fountain Valley, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Carrollton, TX In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Tsuneko Kanegae 1929-2024 Westminster, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Richard Kenfield 1936-2024
In
In
Loving Memory
Loving Memory
James Harold Goode Jr. 1936-2024
Oceanside, CA
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Robert L. Gover, Jr. 1925-2024 Orange, CA
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Joanne Granville 1932-2024 Orange, CA
Rosanne Harrison 1932-2023 Fullerton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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David Hsu, M.D. 1942-2024
Santa Ana, CA
Germantown, TN In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Lillian Herring 1928-2024 Fullerton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Robert Huss 1937-2024 Chico, CA
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William F. Hogan 1930-2024 Orange, CA
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Jack Jones 1929-2024 Brea, CA
James Windham Hoover 1937-2024
Tustin, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
David Albert Kaech 1940-2024
Joan Karcher 1927-2024 Anaheim, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marjorie Lou Kelley 1932-2024
Richard Glezen Kingsley 1932-2024
Irvine, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Santa Ana, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dennis Kelly 1948-2024
Ursula Knopp-McKendree 1962-2024
Huntington Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Clemente, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Joseph L. Kolb 1922-2024
Fullerton, CA
Surprise, AZ In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert J. Kendzor 1933-2024
Anaheim, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
C. Ronald Koons, MD 1928-2024
Mission Viejo, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Steps to take when filing a will
As with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.
Benefits of creating a last will and testament
When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors. You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone. Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.
When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?
Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.
Preparing the will
Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.
1. Account for all of your assets and debts
Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to. This includes, but is not limited to:
• Real estate holdings
• Life insurance policies
• Vehicles
• Cars
• Boats
• Recreational vehicles
• Financial investments
• Owned businesses
• 401(k)
• RRSPs
• Home equity
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Pensions
• Other retirement savings and portfolios
• Debts and liabilities
2. Assign a trustee
A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning, death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set out in your will.
want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.
5. Make it legal
Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.
3. List all beneficiaries
Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.
4. Final wishes for your bodily remains
Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you
Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no substitute for a legal will. Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes. You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.
Maintaining your wishes
Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.
Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone.
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Joyce Kubo 1930-2024
Fountain Valley, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Shirley Ruth Lieberman Baum Lehrfeld 1936-2024
Laguna Woods, CA
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George Gary Mackie 1940-2024
Former Resident of Newport Beach, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Robert F. McBirney 1956-2024
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William H. “Grandpa Bill” Kuni 1931-2024
Garden Grove, CA
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Roger H. Lisabeth 1947-2024
Mission Viejo, CA
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Barbara Ann Marsh 1927-2024
California
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Julia Janke Landry 1961-2024
Orange, CA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Laguna Woods, CA
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Gerald (Jerry) W. McClellan Jr. 1938-2024
Eugene McMaster 1930-2024
Los Alamitos, CA
Newport Beach, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Allen Layne 1938-2024
Laura Little 1940-2024
San Clemente, CA
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Dr. Philip J. Martin 1941-2024 Tustin, CA
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Donald McIntosh 1936-2024
Santa Ana, CA
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Jeri S. Livingstone 1945-2024
Garden Grove, CA
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Laguna Woods, CA
Susan Meir 1959-2024 Tustin, CA
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Lawrence “Larry” LeDoux 1934-2024 Orange, CA
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Willa Dean Lyon 1931-2024
Coto de Caza, CA
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Steven Eugene Mendell 1952-2024
Corona del Mar, CA
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Sandra “Sandy” L. Masterson (Spieth) 1945-2024
Lake Havasu City, AZ
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Marilyn McIntyre 1928-2024
Newport Beach, CA
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Ron Meyer 2024
Las Vegas, NV
Penelope “Penny” Matter 1942-2024
Dana Point, CA
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Roberta Mae Hudson McKay 1941-2024
Cody, WY
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Toshiko Mizuguchi 1933-2024
Orange County, CA
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James Jerome Moiso 1941-2024
Fall River Mills, CA
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Dale T. Parry 1932-2024
Anaheim, CA
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Primo Rodriguez Jr. 1938-2024 Orange, CA
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Diane S. Schoenenberger 1943-2024
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Harry Monck 1947-2024
Huntington Beach, CA
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Mary “Barbara” Porter 1929-2024 Pomona, CA
Huntington Beach, CA
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Joanne Simpson 1936-2024
Fullerton, CA
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Dorothy Mary Morgenstern 1942-2024
Fullerton, CA
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Thomas Purcell 1955-2024
Bear Creek, CO
Carol Sue Newett 1933-2024
Newport Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Sally Rans 1937-2024
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Carolyn M. Nutt 1944-2024 Orange, CA
Laguna Niguel, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Jean Margaret Mahoney Robinson 1937-2024 Newport Beach, CA
Tim Runner 1943-2024 Orange County, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Beverly Ruth Scoville 1930-2024
Crescent City, CA
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Zelda Skretvedt 1926-2024
California City, CA
Patricia Rypinski 1940-2024
Newport Beach, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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James Frederick Sever 1952-2024
La Jolla, CA
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Wells Sloniger 1941-2024
Anaheim, CA
Howard Salsitz 1946-2024
Fullerton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Donna Lee Shook 1930-2024
Yorba Linda, CA
Gina Frances Santanello 1961-2024 Orange, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Kevin Charles Simpson 1980-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
Audrey Smith 2024 Orange County, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Patricia Sortino 1952-2024
Laguna Hills, CA
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Hugh Barrett Speed III 1946-2024
Mission Viejo, CA
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Frederick Darrell Starnes 1941-2024
Andrew Weiss Tanoos 1988-224
Long Beach, CA
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Ty Torres 1969-2024
Capistrano Beach, CA
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Coto de Caza, CA
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Reuben Davis Taylor Jr 1933-2024 Anaheim, CA
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Thomas L. Townsend 1939-2024 San Clemente, CA
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Joan Peggy Warner-Plettinck 1931-2024
Westminster, CA
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Mary Yamaga 1932-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
William C. Williams 1937-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
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Jane H. Yarbrough 1928-2024
Fullerton, CA
In
In
Loving Memory
Loving Memory
Margaret “Peggy” Story 1945-2024 Orange,CA
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Thomas S. Tedesco 1926-2024
Indian Wells, CA
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Philip Turgasen 1934-2024
Trabuco Canyon, CA
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Cherlene J. Williams 1936-2024
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Gene Swanson 1933-2024
Costa Mesa, CA
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Dr. Cynthia Kathleen Tetley-Nash 1952-2024
Mount Pleasant, SC
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Brea, CA
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Carole Marie Zaffino 1943-2024
Edward Ufier Jr. 1946-2024 La Habra Heights, CA
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Alice Mae Winer 1941-2024
Surprise, AZ
Laguna Niguel, CA
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Jenny Ziesche 1942-2024
Orange County, CA
Thomas Tanner 1949-2024 Orange, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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J.R. Thomas 1930-2024 Fountain Valley, CA
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Marshall Van der Linde 1934-2024 Anaheim, CA
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Janice Orleana Wolfe 1932-2024
Fullerton, CA
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Barbara Zink 1938-2024
Bonsall, CA
Ruth Bryson 1928-2024
Escondido, CA In
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Nancy Kathleen Lusk 2024
1946-2024
San Clemente, CA
WLaguna Beach, CA In Loving Memory In
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Kevin Nagano 1977-2024
1925-2024
Fullerton, CA
Torrance, CA
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Orange County, CA
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Joseph Manisco 1956-2024
Newport Beach, CA
1923-2024
Ronald Mc Vicar 1946-2024
Fullerton, CA
MN In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Golden
Writing a Sympathy Note
riting a sympathy note is a thoughtful way to express your condolences when someone you know has suffered a recent loss. However, it is essential to strike the right tone and off er your sympathy with sensitivity.
Use this list of do’s and don’ts to guide you as you craft the perfect note of sympathy.
Do
Write that note, even when you feel awkward. Skipping the note might be interpreted as a sign that you don’t care about the family’s sorrow. This is never the message you want to send.
Do
Send the note as soon as you hear about the death. The first days and weeks after a loss are often the worst. This is the time to offer your heartfelt sympathy.
Do Send a stock printed card if you barely knew the deceased or the family. If the relationship was closer, be sure to write a personal note or letter. When in doubt, send flowers along with your note.
Do
Remember the note is for the living, not the deceased. Even if you didn’t get along with the deceased or didn’t know the person at all, it’s always appropriate to offer sympathy to the family.
Do
Tell them you’re sorry they suffered a loss. This is the essence of your message. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but it always needs to be said. Let them know they’re in your thoughts as they struggle with their grief.
Do
Share a positive memory of thoughtfulness, warmth, or other positive qualities the loved one possessed if you were also close with the deceased. Gentle humor
can be just what the family needs, so it’s fine to share a funny story if it puts the deceased in a good light.
Do
Offer some help. If you’re far away, you might say “I’m here any time you want to talk.” If you live close by, bring a casserole, offer towalk the dog or do some babysitting.
Don’t
Say “Let me know if you need anything.” While this is a popular gesture, it’s essentially an empty one. The bereaved is too busy and in too much pain to think of things for you to do. If you really want to help, offer something specific.
Don’t
Say “Mary’s finally out of pain.” Avoid saying anything that makes it sound like the death was a good thing.
Don’t
Express religious sentiments, unless you’re sure the family shares those beliefs. To non believers, these sentiments might sound empty and make them feel worse.
Condolence notes can be a source of comfort and let sorrowing relatives know they are not alone. With a few simple words, you can let the bereaved know you care and brighten their day.
Marsha Golden
Herschel Hibbard
Janice Takako Kondo 2024
Marcia Tweedie
Valley,
