2024 (Oct-Dec) OCR In Loving Memory

OCTOBER - DECEMBER 2024

In Loving Memory TRIBUTES TO OUR LOVED ONES

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Helping children triumph over grief

hildren are amazingly perceptive. They sense when adults around them are stressed, sad or keeping a secret. While you may beinclined to shield children from grief, this can actually lead to confusion and anger.

Wherever possible, children should be prepared for the passing of a loved one.

In the event of a terminal illness, children should beprepared for the passing just as an adult would be. Death should be approached openly and honestly.

Remember that children are accustomed to adults providing solutions and will have difficulty understanding why their loved one can’t be made well again. Explaining the process of death, perhaps with the assistance of suitable books, is a healthier approach than denying the tragedy.

Although naturally resilient, it should not be assumed that children will be unaffected by death. They may experience any or all of the following:

Anger

Children, like adults, may feel rage at the deceased person, other relatives or themselves. They may even resent acquaintances who have not had to suffer through the anguish of losing a loved one.

Fear

Whenever a loss occurs, people affected are reminded that they, too, will die.

It is no different in children, although it may be their first time realizing the permanence of death. They may fear their own death, or the death of others.

If the deceased person was a parent, they may begin to fear that other caregivers will pass away too.

Sadness

Children experience deep sadness and even depression. They may not have experienced this level of pain before, making their feelings unrecognizable to them. Grief also manifests in physical

symptoms such as stomach pain, headaches and fatigue.

child will view the body, they should be carefully briefed as to what to expect.

Confusion

Grasping the concept of death

Children may not understand where the deceased person has gone and why, especially if they are too young to understand the concept of death. They may also have trouble adjusting to life without the person who has passed away, especially if that person was part of their day-to-day.

Guilt

Guilt is a natural part of grief. Children may worry that something they did or said caused the death. They could also regret not spending more time with the deceased before they passed away.

Level of involvement

Older children should be allowed to choose their level of involvement with regards to attending the funeral. They may want to write a poem, say a few words, lay a rose on the coff in, scatter ashes or wear a favorite outfit. This should be allowed wherever possible, even if it is not in keeping with the ideals of the funeral service.

Viewing of the body should be a personal decision and is probably not suited to younger children. It may be best if the loved one is remembered as when they were alive. If it is decided that the

Caregivers should take care to avoid talking about death as if it is “like sleeping” or “going to sleep” because this can make a young child fearful of going to bed at night.

They may believe that they will not wake again in the morning. Euphemisms such as this ultimately do more harm than good.

It can be stressful for guardians to cope with young children at such a solemn time.

If children are attending the funeral, it is important that they are made aware of the process and what is expected of them. It should also be explained that there will be many sad people inattendance. Observing grieving adults can have a profound effect: children may be reluctant to see those people again at a later stage. Itis important to explain that although people are sad now, they won’t always be unhappy.

Letting them grieve, their way

If it is decided that children should not attend the funeral, encourage them to say goodbye in their own way, perhaps by planting aspecial tree in the garden or letting go of a balloon covered with messages and drawings. For a close relationship, creating a special, private place where the child can go to remember the person who died can provide enduring

opportunities for peace.

Involve older children in decisions surrounding the death of a close friend or relative. They may want a special keepsake and should not be overlooked when belongings are being given away.

Keeping to familiar routine, especially for younger children, can be helpful but care should be taken not to push children into situations until they are ready. Allow older children suff icient time to grieve and avoid returning them to school too soon.

Encourage the child to talk about their feelings. Older children may find internet support groups helpful but online activity should becarefully monitored at this vulnerable time. If those closest are unable to provide support due to their own grief, the child should becomforted by a close adult friend, perhaps a favorite aunt or uncle.

Wherever applicable, the school counselor may be able to provide advice and indeed, the school should be kept informed so that allowances can be made for changes in behavior and grades.

Understand that the child who has recently been confronted by death may regress for a short while – perhaps wanting a childhood toy or adopting attention-seeking behavior.

Help children release their anger appropriately. One approach could be to encourage hitting cushions. Another could be to have the child write a letter, or draw a picture to describe their anger. This can then be torn up or burnt.

Taking care of physical health

Physical health is often forgotten or given a lower priority. However, ensuring their physical needs are attended to will provide them with a sense of safety and comfort. Ensure they have enough time to rest.

Encourage children to eat and drink well. Exercise and playcan be the perfect way to release frustration, anger and anxiety. Above all, ensure that children understand that although this time is difficult to deal with and the loss will always be with them, the grief will pass.

- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

Linda V. Armor 1938-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Kerry Chiemi Asao 1959-2024 Lakewood, CA

Nancy Baier 1950-2024 Dana Point, CA

Rosemarie Batchelor 1930-2024 Fullerton, CA

Martha E. McFarland Baxes 1940-224 Fort Collins, CO

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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Susan (Hart) Begley 1940-2024 Garden Grove, CA

John Blair 1934-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Constance E. Blasie 1944-2024 Hood River, OR

Kathryn Bocker 1928-2024 Lindon, UT

Sabra Bordas 1943-2024 Newport Beach, CA

In Loving Memory

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Janice Mae Borkovetz 1931-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Hester Darlene Bradley 1960-2024 Anaheim, CA

Eric Lee Brennan 1946-2024 Stamford, CT

Chester “Chet” Britt 1929-2024 Laguna Woods, CA

Susan Zocca Bruner 1933-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

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Kristine M. Bunyan 1957-2024 Mission Viejo, CA

Harold Eugene Burnett 1945-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Henry J. Call 1937-2024 Santa Ana, CA

Larry Campeau 1937-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Caroline L. Chambers 1935-2024 Orange County, CA

In Loving Memory

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Ken Champion 1935-2024 Orange, CA

John Charles 1940-2024 Louisville, KY

Geraldine “Gerry” Louise Chase 1944-2024 Adrian, MI

Irene Theresa Chrislip 1930-2024 San Clemente, CA

Don Collins 1938-2024 San Juan Capistrano, CA

In Loving Memory

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Patricia Cook 1932-2024 Fullerton, CA

Winnie Cummings 1934-2024 San Tan Valley, AZ

Emmy, Mary Ellen (Mahar) Cummins 1940-2024 Fullerton, CA

John S. Dahlem 1943-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Carlton Dawson 1938-2024 Tuscon, AZ

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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Jack Delman 2024 Hemet, CA

Ruth “Anne” Dorman 1951-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Ellen Ann Doubet 1939-2024 North Tustin, CA

Lillian Simms Duneer 1931-2024 Visalia, CA

John Edward Dunn 1937-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

In Loving Memory

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Jacqueline Elario 1936-2024 San Clemente, CA

Mary Louise Engman 1930-2024 Orange, CA

Krista E. Ericson 1972-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Martin Robert Farris 1949-2024 Laguna Niguel, CA

Francisca ‘Sica’ Feddersen 1927-2024 Dana Point, CA

In Loving Memory

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Albert “Bert” Paul Ferrari, Sr. 1943-2024 Murrieta, CA

Phyllis J. Filippo 1928-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Barbara (Switzer) Firor 1931-2024 Santa Ana, CA

Jodie Fish 1930-2024 Garden Grove, CA

Eleanor (Ellie) Flood 1930-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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Steven Donald Foster 1948-2024 Nampa, ID

Philip Francis Friedrich 1941-2024 Fullerton, CA

Beverly Ann Fruechting (Hayles) 1946-2024 Orange, CA

Robert Fults 1938-2024 Long Beach, CA

Diane Gates 1938-2024 Morgan, UT

How to Support a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One

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t is never easy for someone who has lost a member of the family, even when it comes at the end of a long life or a prolonged illness. The loss is always deeply felt and followed by a period of grief.

Considering this, how can you help support a friend who has suffered such a loss? Here are seven simple suggestions.

1. Be there for your friend

Expressing your support by being physically present with your friend is perhaps the single most appreciated action you can take. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, many friends fail at this most basic task. Be sure to devote some time to spend with your friend in the days and weeks following the loss.

2. Don’t talk; listen

Your friend is likely experiencing a number of thoughts regarding the deceased, and you can be their sounding board. It is appropriatefor you to offer the occasional comment in order to share personal recollections, express sympathy, and provide encouragement, but most of the time you should just listen to what they have to say, and empathize with the feelings they share.

Allow your friend to work through volatile emotions, freely express grief without fear of judgment, and tell you how the deceased had an impact on his or her life.

3. Provide childcare

If your friend has children, volunteer to take care of them for an afternoon or evening.

Particularly if your friend has to make funeral arrangements to handle, your offer can allow them to focus on those responsibilities without the hassle of arranging for a babysitter.

you can help out. For instance, you can offer your home as a possible location. You could also help with preparations if the reception is to be held at another location. If sandwiches or sweets are desired, you could offer to prepare some. During the reception, you could assist as a host. Afterward, stick around to help clean up.

4. Drop off a meal

7. Check in

Prepare a home cooked meal and deliver it to your friend.

There are enough things demanding their attention— preparing meals doesn’t have to be one of them. However, don’t pressure your friend to invite you to stay to share the meal. Rather than intruding on family time, simply drop the meal off and leave.

5. Show up for visitation and for the funeral

A day or two prior to many funerals, there are times designated for visitation.

Often called a wake, this is an opportunity for people togather to view the body and to express their condolences to the family. Show up for at least a few minutes during one of these times,and then do your best to attend the funeral itself.

If you are unable to attend the funeral in person, at least check in periodically over the phone or online.

6. Offer to help out with the reception

If your friend is responsible for organizing a reception following the funeral, volunteer your services.

There are a variety of ways

Grief doesn’t simply end after the funeral. In fact, after the funeral is when the journey

through grief truly begins.

Check in with your friend regularly after the death.

Remember the anniversary of the loss and ask your friend how you can support them on this day. Offer your company, assistance and support through the months and years to come.

Allow your friend to relax and show honest emotions.

Losing a loved one can be an intensely stressful and exhausting experience. Your friend should not have to put on a brave face or attend to your needs. Give them the

space and freedom they need to process the loss, even if it extends well beyond the date of the funeral.

By being sensitive to your friend’s mental and emotional state—and by taking some responsibilities upon yourself—you can help remove some of the weight from their shoulders. Your support in these ways will go a long way toward helping your friend through this time of loss.

- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

Robert Gates 1934-2024 Morgan, UT

Alaine Marsha (Watt) Gohn 1950-2024 Fountain Valley, CA

James Harold Goode Jr. 1936-2024 Oceanside, CA

Robert L. Gover, Jr. 1925-2024 Orange, CA

Joanne Granville 1932-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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In Loving Memory

Wendy S. Greene 1929-2024 Tustin, CA

Rosanne Harrison 1932-2023 Fullerton, CA

Lillian Herring 1928-2024 Fullerton, CA

William F. Hogan 1930-2024 Orange, CA

James Windham Hoover 1937-2024 Tustin, CA

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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Robert Lewis Horvath 1942-2024 Carrollton, TX

David Hsu, M.D. 1942-2024 Santa Ana, CA

Robert Huss 1937-2024 Chico, CA

Jack Jones 1929-2024 Brea, CA

David Albert Kaech 1940-2024 Surprise, AZ

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Tsuneko Kanegae 1929-2024 Westminster, CA

Joan Karcher 1927-2024 Anaheim, CA

Marjorie Lou Kelley 1932-2024 Santa Ana, CA

Dennis Kelly 1948-2024 San Clemente, CA

Robert J. Kendzor 1933-2024 Anaheim, CA

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Richard Kenfield 1936-2024 Germantown, TN

Richard Glezen Kingsley 1932-2024 Irvine, CA

Ursula Knopp-McKendree 1962-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Joseph L. Kolb 1922-2024 Fullerton, CA

C. Ronald Koons, MD 1928-2024 Mission Viejo, CA

Steps to take when filing a will

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s with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.

Benefits of creating a last will and testament

When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors.

You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone.

Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.

When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?

Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.

Preparing the will

Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.

1. Account for all of your assets and debts Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to.

This includes, but is not limited to: • Real estate holdings • Life insurance policies

• Vehicles • Cars • Boats • Recreational vehicles • Financial investments • Owned businesses • 401(k) • RRSPs • Home equity • Stocks • Bonds • Pensions •O ther retirement savings and portfolios • Debts and liabilities 2. Assign a trustee A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning, death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set out in your will.

Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.

3. List all beneficiaries Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.

4. Final wishes for your bodily remains Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you

want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.

5. Make it legal Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

There is no substitute for a legal will.

Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes.

You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.

Maintaining your wishes

Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.

Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone.

- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

Joyce Kubo 1930-2024 Fountain Valley, CA

William H. “Grandpa Bill” Kuni 1931-2024 Garden Grove, CA

Julia Janke Landry 1961-2024 Orange, CA

Allen Layne 1938-2024 Santa Ana, CA

Lawrence “Larry” LeDoux 1934-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

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Shirley Ruth Lieberman Baum Lehrfeld 1936-2024 Laguna Woods, CA

Roger H. Lisabeth 1947-2024 Mission Viejo, CA

Laura Little 1940-2024 San Clemente, CA

Jeri S. Livingstone 1945-2024 Garden Grove, CA

Willa Dean Lyon 1931-2024 Coto de Caza, CA

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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George Gary Mackie 1940-2024 Former Resident of Newport Beach, CA

Barbara Ann Marsh 1927-2024 Laguna Woods, CA

Dr. Philip J. Martin 1941-2024 Tustin, CA

Sandra “Sandy” L. Masterson (Spieth) 1945-2024 Lake Havasu City, AZ

Penelope “Penny” Matter 1942-2024 Dana Point, CA

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Robert F. McBirney 1956-2024 California

Gerald (Jerry) W. McClellan Jr. 1938-2024 Newport Beach, CA

Donald McIntosh 1936-2024 Laguna Woods, CA

Marilyn McIntyre 1928-2024 Newport Beach, CA

Roberta Mae Hudson McKay 1941-2024 Cody, WY

In Loving Memory

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Eugene McMaster 1930-2024 Los Alamitos, CA

Susan Meir 1959-2024 Tustin, CA

Steven Eugene Mendell 1952-2024 Corona del Mar, CA

Ron Meyer 2024 Las Vegas, NV

Toshiko Mizuguchi 1933-2024 Orange County, CA

In Loving Memory

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James Jerome Moiso 1941-2024 Fall River Mills, CA

Harry Monck 1947-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Dorothy Mary Morgenstern 1942-2024 Fullerton, CA

Carol Sue Newett 1933-2024 Newport Beach, CA

Carolyn M. Nutt 1944-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

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Dale T. Parry 1932-2024 Anaheim, CA

Mary “Barbara” Porter 1929-2024 Pomona, CA

Thomas Purcell 1955-2024 Bear Creek, CO

Sally Rans 1937-2024 Laguna Niguel, CA

Jean Margaret Mahoney Robinson 1937-2024 Newport Beach, CA

In Loving Memory

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Primo Rodriguez Jr. 1938-2024 Orange, CA

Tim Runner 1943-2024 Orange County, CA

Patricia Rypinski 1940-2024 Newport Beach, CA

Howard Salsitz 1946-2024 Fullerton, CA

Gina Frances Santanello 1961-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

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Diane S. Schoenenberger 1943-2024 Huntington Beach, CA

Beverly Ruth Scoville 1930-2024 Crescent City, CA

James Frederick Sever 1952-2024 La Jolla, CA

Donna Lee Shook 1930-2024 Yorba Linda, CA

Kevin Charles Simpson 1980-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

In Loving Memory

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Joanne Simpson 1936-2024 Fullerton, CA

Zelda Skretvedt 1926-2024 California City, CA

Wells Sloniger 1941-2024 Anaheim, CA

Audrey Smith 2024 Orange County, CA

Patricia Sortino 1952-2024 Laguna Hills, CA

In Loving Memory

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Hugh Barrett Speed III 1946-2024 Mission Viejo, CA

Frederick Darrell Starnes 1941-2024 Coto de Caza, CA

Margaret “Peggy” Story 1945-2024 Orange,CA

Gene Swanson 1933-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Thomas Tanner 1949-2024 Orange, CA

In Loving Memory

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Andrew Weiss Tanoos 1988-224 Long Beach, CA

Reuben Davis Taylor Jr 1933-2024 Anaheim, CA

Thomas S. Tedesco 1926-2024 Indian Wells, CA

Dr. Cynthia Kathleen Tetley-Nash 1952-2024 Mount Pleasant, SC

J.R. Thomas 1930-2024 Fountain Valley, CA

In Loving Memory

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Ty Torres 1969-2024 Capistrano Beach, CA

Thomas L. Townsend 1939-2024 San Clemente, CA

Philip Turgasen 1934-2024 Trabuco Canyon, CA

Edward Ufier Jr. 1946-2024 La Habra Heights, CA

Marshall Van der Linde 1934-2024 Anaheim, CA

In Loving Memory

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Joan Peggy Warner-Plettinck 1931-2024 Westminster, CA

William C. Williams 1937-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Cherlene J. Williams 1936-2024 Brea, CA

Alice Mae Winer 1941-2024 Laguna Niguel, CA

Janice Orleana Wolfe 1932-2024 Fullerton, CA

In Loving Memory

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Mary Yamaga 1932-2024 Costa Mesa, CA

Jane H. Yarbrough 1928-2024 Fullerton, CA

Carole Marie Zaffino 1943-2024 Surprise, AZ

Jenny Ziesche 1942-2024 Orange County, CA

Barbara Zink 1938-2024 Bonsall, CA

In Loving Memory

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Ruth Bryson 1928-2024 Escondido, CA

Nancy Kathleen Lusk 2024 Laguna Beach, CA

Kevin Nagano 1977-2024 Torrance, CA

Joseph Manisco 1956-2024 Newport Beach, CA

Ronald Mc Vicar 1946-2024 Fullerton, CA

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory

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Marsha Golden 1946-2024 San Clemente, CA

Herschel Hibbard 1925-2024 Fullerton, CA

Janice Takako Kondo 2024 Orange County, CA

Marcia Tweedie 1923-2024 Golden Valley, MN

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Writing a Sympathy Note

riting a sympathy note is a thoughtful way to express your condolences when someone you know has suffered a recent loss. However, it is essential to strike the right tone and off er your sympathy with sensitivity.

Use this list of do’s and don’ts to guide you as you craft the perfect note of sympathy.

can be just what the family needs, so it’s fine to share a funny story if it puts the deceased in a good light.

Do

Offer some help. If you’re far away, you might say “I’m here any time you want to talk.” If you live close by, bring a casserole, offer towalk the dog or do some babysitting.

Don’t

Say “Let me know if you need anything.” While this is a popular gesture, it’s essentially an empty one. The bereaved is too busy and in too much pain to think of things for you to do. If you really want to help, offer something specific.

Do

Write that note, even when you feel awkward.

Skipping the note might be interpreted as a sign that you don’t care about the family’s sorrow. This is never the message you want to send.

Do

Send the note as soon as you hear about the death.

The first days and weeks after a loss are often the worst. This is the time to offer your heartfelt sympathy.

Do

Send a stock printed card if you barely knew the deceased or the family. If the relationship was closer, be sure to write a personal note or letter. When in doubt, send flowers along with your note.

Do

Remember the note is for the living, not the deceased.

Even if you didn’t get along with the deceased or didn’t know the person at all, it’s always appropriate to offer sympathy to the family.

Do

Tell them you’re sorry they suffered a loss. This is the essence of your message. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but it always needs to be said. Let them know they’re in your thoughts as they struggle with their grief.

Do

Share a positive memory of thoughtfulness, warmth, or other positive qualities the loved one possessed if you were also close with the deceased. Gentle humor

Don’t

Say “Mary’s finally out of pain.” Avoid saying anything that makes it sound like the death was a good thing.

Don’t

Express religious sentiments, unless you’re sure the family shares those beliefs. To non believers, these sentiments might sound empty and make them feel worse.

Condolence notes can be a source of comfort and let sorrowing relatives know they are not alone. With a few simple words, you can let the bereaved know you care and brighten their day.

- TRIBUTE TECHNOLOGY

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