2024 (Jan-Mar) Inland Empire In Loving Memory

Memory IN LOVING

Sheila

James

Lawrence

Donald

Ronald

Royce

Maria

Rita

Mary

Donald

Nuncio

Art

Johnny

Wayne

Robert

Katherine

Barbara

Evelyn

Julia

Tim

Patricia

Cecilia

David

Cristina

Donald

Daniel

Bob

Michael

Susan

Raymond

Donna

Luis

Cecilia

Katherine

Mary

David

John

John

How to support a friend who has lost a loved One

t is never easy for someone who has lost a member of the family, even when it comes at the end of a long life or a prolonged illness. The loss is always deeply felt and followed by a period of grief. Considering this, how can you help support a friend who has suffered such a loss? Here are seven simple suggestions.

1. Be there for your friend

Expressing your support by being physically present with your friend is perhaps the single most appreciated action you can take. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, many friends fail at this most basic task. Be sure to devote some time to spend with your friend in the days and weeks following the loss.

2. Don’t talk; listen

Your friend is likely experiencing a number of thoughts regarding the deceased, and you can be their sounding board. It is appropriatefor you to offer the occasional comment in order to share personal recollections, express sympathy, and provide encouragement, but most of the time you should just listen to what they have to say, and empathize with the feelings they share.

Allow your friend to work through volatile emotions, freely express grief without fear of judgment, and tell you how the deceased had an impact on his or her life.

3. Provide childcare

If your friend has children, volunteer to take care of them for an afternoon or evening. Particularly if your friend has to make funeral arrangements to handle, your offer can allow them to focus on those responsibilities without the hassle of arranging for a babysitter.

4. Drop off a meal

Prepare a home cooked meal and deliver it to your friend. There are enough things demanding their attention—preparing meals doesn’t have to be one of them. However, don’t pressure your friend to invite you to stay to share the meal. Rather than intruding on family time, simply drop the meal off and leave.

5. Show up for visitation and for the funeral

A day or two prior to many funerals, there are times designated for visitation. Often called a wake, this is an opportunity for people togather to view the body and to express their condolences to the family. Show up for at least a few minutes during one of these times,and then do your best to attend the funeral itself. If you are unable to attend the funeral in person, at least check in periodically over the phone or online.

6. Offer to help out with the reception

If your friend is responsible for organizing a reception following the funeral, volunteer your services. There are a variety of ways you can help out. For instance, you can offer your home as a possible location. You could also help with preparations if the reception is to be held at another location. If sandwiches or sweets are desired, you could offer to prepare some. During the reception, you could assist as a host. Afterward, stick around to help clean up.

7. Check in Grief doesn’t simply end after the funeral. In fact, after the funeral is when the journey through grief truly begins. Check in with your friend regularly after the death. Remember the anniversary of the loss and ask your friend how you can support them on this day. Offer your company, assistance and support through the months and years to come.

Allow your friend to relax and show honest emotions. Losing a loved one can be an intensely stressful and exhausting experience. Your friend should not have to put on a brave face or attend to your needs. Give them the space and freedom they need to process the loss, even if it extends well beyond the date of the funeral.

By being sensitive to your friend’s mental and emotional state—and by taking some responsibilities upon yourself—you can help remove some of the weight from their shoulders. Your support in these ways will go a long way toward helping your friend through this time of loss.

Joyce

Jesse

Lynne

Patricia

Paul

Donna

Patricia

William

Gail

Benjamin

Craig

Frank

Glen

Patricia

Joyce

David

Judy

Wesley

Kenneth

Franklin

Susan

Edward

Carolyn

Marilyn

Rose Mary Tostado 1937-2024 Fontana, CA

Frederick Dewitt Van Allen 1932-2024

Sun City, CA

Carolyn Barbara Wallner

1933-2023

Hemet, CA

Marian Card Trotta 2023 Riverside, CA

Christine H. Trujillo 1949-2024

Margot Dornin Varden 1937-2024

San Bernardino, CA

Marvin Weetman 1935-2024

Post Falls, ID

Colton, CA

Jan Gregory Vohs 1950-2023

Menifee, CA

Velinka Udicki 1956-2023 Fontana, CA

Rev. John Francis Wagner 1938-2024

Temecula, CA

Jean Werner 1937-2024

Hemet, CA

Maria Isabel Puyana White 2024

Moreno Valley, CA

Ofelia Valdez-Yeager 1947-2024 Riverside, CA

Carole Colette Walker 1932-2024 Riverside, CA / Port Orchard, WA

Sally B Wishart 2023

Los Angeles, CA

Molly Alice Pihlaja Wright 1936-2024

Yucaipa, CA In

Gus and Corie Wybenga 2023 & 2024

Chino, CA

Frank Conriquez

How to prepare a eulogy

Giving the eulogy at a funeral is an honor as well as an intimidating responsibility. Particularly if you are not accustomed to public speaking, it can be difficult to know where to begin. Well, take a breath and relax. With a little forethought, you can prepare and deliver a stirring eulogy. It is important to invest the time necessary to prepare in advance. Do not wait to “wing it” during the funeral. That is a recipe for disaster. You may freeze up, ramble on, and miss out on the opportunity to pay proper tribute to your loved one. If you plan ahead and organize what you intend to say, it will minimize those dangers. When the time comes, you may choose to digress a bit from your prepared statements, but you will at least have a framework to guide you.

Writing the eulogy

To help with your preparation, make sure you carry a notepad, smartphone or tablet with you for note-taking purposes. Whenever you hear a family member or friend make a relevant observation

about the deceased, quickly jot it down. This way, you can keep track of quotations, humorous stories, and factual information. Later, when you sit down to organize your thoughts onto paper, you can use your notes as a reservoir of ideas.

If you are have difficulty recalling information or getting input from others, don’t be afraid to ask outright. Spark conversations by asking questions such as:

• What is your favorite memory of your time with them?

• If you could sum up their life in one word, what word would that be?

• What kinds of hobbies did they have?

• What nicknames were they known by?

When you have gathered enough information, it is time to put it all together. While there is no right or wrong way to prepare a eulogy, the following blueprint can help you get started if you are unsure.

To begin, describe your own relationship with the deceased. Explain how you are personally affected by the loss. Remember that many of the people listening to you will understand fully and may share many of the same emotions.

Next, work in some personal details pertaining to the deceased, and include

three or four anecdotes. Tell stories that included you, or that were shared with you by others. Heartwarming accounts of generosity are powerful when delivered in a eulogy. Stories that demonstrate the person’s character will resonate with the people who miss them. Humorous anecdotes provide much-needed comic relief from the tension of a funeral service. However, be sure to keep the humor respectful and appropriate.

Talk about life lessons you learned from them as well as the qualities that made your loved one special. Whenever possible, tie these lessons or qualities into your anecdotes. Keep the focus on the person you are honoring.

Near the end of the eulogy, consider addressing the deceased directly. For example, you can turn toward the casket and say, “Mom, I love you and I’m going to miss you. You taught me well, I couldn’t have asked for a better mother, and you will always be close to my heart.”

Delivering the eulogy

You should prepare a complete manuscript of what you plan to say. Using this manuscript, you can practice delivering the eulogy a few times to see how it flows and to edit for length. In

most cases, a eulogy of five to ten minutes (two to four typed pages) is appropriate. If you expect that you will stray from the manuscript during delivery, aim for shorter. If you tend to speak faster when nervous, prepare a longer eulogy.

Whether you take the complete manuscript to the podium or condense the eulogy onto cue cards is your decision. If you are nervous about speaking publicly, bring the entire manuscript up to the podium with you. Just having it handy can relieve your anxiety about getting lost during the eulogy. If you are a confident public speaker, condense the eulogy to bullet points on cue cards. This will help you deliver a more natural, conversational tribute to your loved one.

If you invest the time and energy in preparing the eulogy, you can approach your responsibility with confidence. Step up to the podium, take a deep breath to calm your nerves and get your bearings, and tell everyone about this wonderful person you are honoring.

Roberto Casas

Clinto “C.C.” Myers

Diana D. Rigney Sepulveda

Linda Lenny Sloan

Duncan Campbell Webb

Josephine Zermeno

DIRECTORY

Acheson & Graham Mortuary .....................

www.achesonandgraham.com

Akes Family Funeral Home......................... www.akesfamilyfuneralhome.com

Arlington Mortuary ......................................

www.arlingtonmortuary.com

Bobbitt Memorial Chapel ...........................

www.bobbittchapel.com

Cortner Chapel ...........................................

www.cortnerchapel.com

Evans Brown Mortuary ...............................

www.evans-brownmortuary.com

Final Tribute ................................................

www.finaltribute.net

Forest Lawn Cathedral City ........................

www.flcoachellavalley.com

Ingold Funeral Chapel ................................

www.ingoldfuneralandcremation.com

Inland Memorial, Inc. ..................................

www.inlandmemorial.com

McAulay & Wallace Mortuary .....................

www.mcaulaywallace.com

McWane Family Funeral Home ..................

www.mcwanefamily.com

Miller-Jones Mortuary.................................

www.miller-jones.com

Murrieta Valley Funeral Home ....................

www.murrietavalleyfuneralhome.com

Norco Family Funeral Home .......................

www.norcofamilyfuneralhome.com

O’Connor Mortuary .................................... www.oconnormortuary.com

Pierce Bros Mortuary.................................. www.piercebroscrestlawn.com

Preston and Simons Mortuary.................... www.preston-simonsmortuary.com

Rubidoux Mortuary .....................................

www.rubidouxmortuary.com

Sierra Memorial Chapel Mortuary ..............

www.thomasmillermortuary.com

Sunset Funeral Care ...................................

www.sunsetfuneralcare.com

Thomas Miller Mortuary .............................

www.thomasmillermortuary.com

Todd Memorial Chapel ...............................

www.toddmemorialchapel.com

Weaver Mortuary ........................................

www.weaver-mortuary.com

Wiefels & Son Mortuary .............................. www.wiefelsmortuary.com