Memory IN LOVING
How to express your condolences when someone dies
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult and devastating life events a person will experience. While there’s nothing you can do to remedy the situation, you can certainly let your friends or loved ones know that you’re there for them in their time of need. Even if you’re not sure what the appropriate behavior is when someone else is grieving, there are several things you can do to show that you care.
Make initial contact
When you first learn that your friend or loved one has suffered a loss, consider how close you are to the grieving person.
If you are more of an acquaintance, wait a day or two to pay your respects. It may be more appropriate to send a letter, email, or card of sympathy if you are not close with the bereaved.
If you are very close, phone or visit them as soon as possible to offer support. Keep the call or visit brief and express your sympathy at that time. Remember that they are likely overwhelmed at this time, and may not have time or energy to spare on social graces.
Offer assistance with practical matters
During a time of loss, it’s often difficult for the person who’s left behind to tend to their daily needs. Offer to run errands for them or help with them housework. Something as simple as picking up a prescription, getting a few groceries or picking up dry cleaning can be very helpful during this period of time. Most likely their time will be taken up with making the final arrangements for the deceased and it maybe hard for them to take time out to keep the household running. Don’t put pressure on them to accept your help, or take it personally if they decline. They may simply want to be left alone, and you should respect their wishes.
Drop off some food
Preparing and dropping off food is another way that you can show you care when someone close to you has lost a loved one. Make oneor two dishes that you can drop off to the grieving person to help feed the friends and family who will most likely gather before and after the funeral. Casseroles, soups and stews are all dishes that are easy to heat up and taste just as
good even when eaten a day or two later.
If cooking isn’t a skill you possess, you can have food delivered or pick up something at a local deli or bakery.
Send flowers
Families often appreciate receiving floral arrangements when they’ve lost someone. It lets them know that you’re thinking of them and shows respect for the person who’s passed away. Flowers are also a simple reminder of life and beauty during a dark time.
A florist can help you select an arrangement that is tasteful and will work with you to find something that’s within your budget. Sign the card with a heartfelt sentiment.
Attend the viewing and funeral
Another way to be there for a friend or loved one is to attend the viewing and funeral service. If the deceased observed a different religious tradition from your own, simply ask the clergy member what is an acceptable level of participation in the service for someonewho isn’t a member of the religion. For example, everyone is welcome at a Catholic funeral, however, non-Catholics are not permitted to receive Holy Communion during the service.
Learn the proper etiquette beforehand to avoid any uncomfortable moments.
Support the bereaved aft erward
After the funeral, life goes back to normal for those who weren’t as close to the deceased. But for those who deceased person best, the grieving process is just beginning. It is during the weeks, months and years following the loss that the bereaved person will needsupport the most. While they were probably carried forward on a sea of momentum and adrenaline during the funeral preparations and service, now they are left alone to learn to live with their loss.
Visit them periodically for a chat, invite them to get out to some low-key events with you when they feel up to it or telephone to let them know that they’re on your mind.
While words can never truly express the deep sense of sympathy you feel for someone’s loss, actions can go a long way to let them know you care. By reaching out to the bereaved and assisting them in any way you can, you can show how much you feel for them during this time.
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Joaquin Jr. Aboytes 1938-2024
Colton, CA
John Stanley Anisko 1935-2024
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Albert Garcia (Big Al) Acosta 2024 Pomona, CA
San Jacinto, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Margaret “Maggie” Barrett 1945-2023 Redlands, CA
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Adela “Ida” SaldaÒa Aparicio 1921-2024
Rancho Cucamonga , CA
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Loving Memory In Loving Memory Rev. Msgr. Philip Anthony Behan 1944-2024 Sun City,CA
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David Leslie Brewer 1933-2023
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Burnadette Fern (Nelligan) Button 2024
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Memory
Dora T. Acosta 1929-2024
Colton, CA
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Dennis Bacon 1951-2024 Hemet, CA
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Maureen Francis Black 1943-2024 Georgetown, TX
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Sharon Kaye (McCurter) Alderman 1946-2024
Montclair, CA
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Judith A. “Judy” (nee Shidal) Barnum 1939-2024 San Bernardino, CA
Darla M. (Van Veldhuizen) Brockus 1970-2024
Sharon Alexander 1945-2024
Redlands, CA
Robert Bothner 1929-2024
Loving Memory In Loving Memory Argentina R. (Argie) Brogdon 1945-2024
CA
Marjorie Ann Barr 1939-2024 Riverside, CA
Geraldine Farr Bray 1936-2024
Dorothy Brown 1927-2024 Hemet, CA
Loving Memory In Loving Memory David Edward Byrne 1946-2024
Harriette “Hattie” Byland 1947-2024
CA
Sabina “Sadie” Ruiz Cabral 1925-2024 Redlands, CA
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Florentino “Tino” Sr. Casem 1944-2024
Great Falls, MT
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Jacob K. Cosby 1932-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Kay Pence Custer 1940-2024
Yucaipa, CA
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Donald Cassell 1939-2024
Riverside, CA
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Diane Coughlin 1943-2024
La Verne, CA
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Alfonso E. Espinoza 1937-2024 Ontario, CA
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Fred Albert M.D., Gattas 1922-2024
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Shirley A. (Bruyneel) Childs 1943-2024
Riverside CA
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Leonard (Mike) Cox 1947-2024
Janet Schnur DeLaby 1938-2024 Cumming, Georgia
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Mary Eugenias 1932-2024
Upland, CA
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Bud (Henry Lee) Cook 1923-2024
Redlands, CA
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Robert J. Dexter 1940-2024
Riverside, CA
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Wildomar, CA
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Luann Mae Cram 1928-2024
Upland, CA
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Mazie Ann Fairfax 1928-2024
Jean Geitner 1938-2024 Weiser, ID
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San Bernardino, CA
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Alta Loma, CA
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James Wilson III Gill 1943-2024
Carol Coons 1955-2024 Upland, CA
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John C. Donahue 1943-2024 Malvern, AR
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George E. Fikrle 1930-2024
Carlsbad, CA
Redlands, CA
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Dr. Daniel Gorenberg 1931-2024
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Janet Edwards 1933-2024 Redlands, CA
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Anthony Michael Flores 2004-2024
San Bernardino, CA
Riverside, CA
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Darel Griffin 1932-2024
Alta Loma, CA
Cheryl Lynn Williams Culpepper 2024 Loudon, TN
Caring for an ailing parent with confidence
Reversing the roles of caregiver and dependent is complicated and emotional. Adult children can become caregivers of their parents inthe blink of an eye, and it can lead to doubt and anxiety for all.
As unfortunate as it may be in the moment, taking over the care of ailing parents is simply a part of life. It is the natural progression that most have to face.
Here are some tips to help you deal with progressing from someone’s child to their caregiver:
1. Accept what is happening. As difficult as it may seem, it is important to know the facts of the illness or condition that needs to behandled. If it is an illness that will eventually lead to death (whether immediate or long-term), making arrangements for a written will, funeral, and legal determinations is crucial. Completing these steps will reduce future stress and worry.
2. Have open communication with your parent. Explain that you will be handling the situation and stepping up into the caregiver role, so that there is no question or uncertainty. It is important to take over this responsibility while also aff ording your parent dignity, respect and any autonomy they can still have over their own care.
3. Prepare yourself. It will be a rough road to travel. Surround yourself with a reliable support system, plenty of positive energy, and tissues. Know that you will shed tears; you will fall; you will get back up; and you will do what needs done for your parent.
4. Approach your parent with love. Be gentle, loving and understanding, but be strong and courageous. When you are in the last moments with your parent, show them how much you love them. Let that message overshadow the message of fear. Assure your parent
that they have had a wonderful life, and their pain will soon end.
5. Reach out to others. There are a number of helpful organizations whose mission is to help caregivers. Don’t hesitate to reach out for
help. Investigate your local social services organizations and speak to representatives about your situation. Take the help theyoffer. The stronger you are, the better you will take care of your parent during this difficult time.
You have a window of opportunity to make lasting memories and to develop your parent’s hardships into a unique loving and bonding experience. Your parent brought you into the world, nurtured and enabled you to become the adult that you are today. This can be yourturn to nurture them in return. Caring for your ailing parent may seem unnatural and stressful, but being prepared and approaching the situation with a full toolbox can help turn it into a natural, even beautiful, experience.
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Jay P. Grossman 2024
Riverside, CA
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Lawrence “Larry” H. Harper 1938-2023
Riverside, CA
Manuel Torres Hernandez 1936-2024
La Verne, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Annamae van Altena Holzhauser 2024
Redlands, CA
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Kathleen Anne Jayne 1939-2024
Riverside, CA
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Memory
Antonia Matilda Fuentez Guevara 1932-2024
Montclair, CA
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Robert L. Harshman 1934-2024
Grand Terrace, CA
Sheri Lynn Hernandez 1967-2024
Redlands, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Cecil Elbert “Cec” Hope 1932-2024
Upland, CA
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Loversa Anabelle Kawecki 1926-2024
Upland, CA
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Memory
Eric Guth 1968-2024
Markleeville, CA
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Jimmy Hartshorn 1949-2024 Ontario, CA
William Arthur Hiepler 1933-2024
Zoe Ellen Guthmiller 1934-2024
San Bernardino, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James Thomas Hallum 1933-2024
Rose M. Helmick 1930-2024 Upland, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
San Bernardino, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Pamela Ann Horvath 1956-2024 Corona, CA
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Melvin Howard Kessen 1916-2012
Banning, CA
Paul Hodges 1933-2024
Claremont, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Dorothy Huff 1932-2024
Cherry Valley, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Kathleen Helen Henley 1931-2023
Redlands, CA
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Redlands, CA
San Diego, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Laha Jean Brown Jamison 1934-2024
Riverside, CA
Danny Kirkpatrick 1953-2024 Yucaipa, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Ronald K., M.D. Kjos 1932-2024
Riverside, CA
Darlyn Klinkert
1924-2024
Fallbrook, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Donna M. Lai
1941-2024
Kenneth J Koperski 1947-2024
Rancho Cucamonga , CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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David Patrick Lewis 1950-2024
Riverside, CA
Jeannine Marie Lutz 1937-2024
Colton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Christopher Allan Kraft 1958-2024
Victoria C. Landeros 1930-2024 San Bernardino, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Redlands, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Jack Kroonen 1930-2024 Corona, CA
Loving Memory In Loving Memory Terry Lee Lawrence 1957-2024
Muriel Lavender 1937-2024
CA
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Donald R. Lincoln 1932-2024
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Bernardino, CA
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Andrea Lan’ee Krueger 1948-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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1943-2024
Donald R. Lincoln 1932-2024
Chino Hills, CA
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
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1924-2024 Moreno
CA
Redlands, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Cindi McDowell 1948-2024
Redlands, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Ronald S. Lyons 1945-2024 Arroyo Grande, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Richard McElvany 1942-2024 Claremont, CA
Gail Ann White Mann 1956-2024
CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Marlene J. McMeans 2024
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Sarah (Sally) M. Mayer 1929-2024 Riverside, CA
Shirley Ann McClay 1932-2024
CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Margaret Castaneda Mendez 1937-2024
Bernardino, CA
Murrieta, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Akiko Lostbom
Valley,
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Kathy Mikkelson 1953-2024
Pomona, CA
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Randall (Randy) “Graffiti” Morrison 1958-2024
Surprise, AZ
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Mary Nilio 1928-2024
Upland, CA
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Ruth Petersen 1935-2024
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Carol Louise Miller 1945-2024
Riverside, CA
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Jennie Adame Moyeda 1931-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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San Bernardino, CA
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Leslie George Poole 1944-2024
Riverside, CA
In
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Gerald Anderson Miller 1934-2024
Riverside, CA
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Robert Daniel Nance 1942-2024 Lansdale, PA
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Charles “Chuck” , Jr. Miller 1934-2024
Riverside, CA
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George Fidel Negrete 1936-2024
San Bernardino, CA
Linda Montoya 1931-2024 Ontario, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Pamela Kay Nickey 1963-2024 Rancho Cucamonga , CA
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Henriqueta (Maria) Quiñones Olvera 1930-2024 San Bernardino,CA
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Martha Mary (Gollan) Petite 1944-2024 Yucaipa, CA
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Robert J. Pruchnik 1934-2024
San Diego, CA
Priscilla Oxarart 1941-2024
Upland, CA
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Oren Pike 1928-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Ninfa Duran Pulver 1938-2024
Riverside, CA
Andrea Lynn Parker 1976-20214
Upland, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Frances Ilene Pitruzzello 1932-2024
Riverside, CA
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Ronald W. Pusey 1933-2024 Rancho Cucamonga, CA
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Kenneth N. Perkins 1938-2024 Corona, CA
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Manuel Martinez Plaza 1942-2024 Corona, CA
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David Raley 2024 Redlands, CA
Steps to take when filing a will
As with being born and having to pay taxes, we all face the prospect of our own death. If you plan on living to a ripe old age, it’s important to make things easier on those you leave behind by preparing a proper last will and testament.
Benefits of creating a last will and testament
When you file a will, your final wishes are laid out in black and white, leaving no ambiguity about how you want your assets divided. By creating a will that is watertight, you can make your death less stressful for your survivors. You should also have peace of mind knowing your survivors will be taken care of when you are gone. Although it’s unsettling to think of your own death and the world without you in it, consider how you’d like your assets to be distributed once you are gone. Typically people contemplate how they’d like to leave their children, spouse, favorite charities and other loved onesin the event of their death.
When is a good time to start planning your final wishes?
Consider preparing a last will and testament once you’ve acquired assets or dependents. If you work full time, have a spouse orchildren, own a home, or have savings, it’s the right time to start planning.
Preparing the will
Don’t know how to get started? Follow these steps to begin planning your final wishes.
1. Account for all of your assets and debts
Create a comprehensive list of everything you own or are entitled to. This includes, but is not limited to:
• Real estate holdings
• Life insurance policies
• Vehicles
• Cars
• Boats
• Recreational vehicles
• Financial investments
• Owned businesses
• 401(k)
• RRSPs
• Home equity
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Pensions
• Other retirement savings and portfolios
• Debts and liabilities
2. Assign a trustee
A trustee, or executor, is the person who you assign to carry out the instructions held in your last will and testament. Their duties can include the distribution of assets, funeral planning, death announcement, services, cremation or care of your final remains, and distribution of your assets as set out in your will.
want your body to be cremated and your ashes scattered over your favorite lake, ski hill, ocean vista or other special place. Your wishes are yours alone, andcan be as personal as you like. Whatever they may be, ensure your requests are clearly identified in your will.
5. Make it legal
Ensure that the person you select to administer your estate is okay with being appointed as such before assigning them. The job of anexecutor or trustee is complex and stressful, usually taking months or years to conclude. Make sure they are up to the task.
3. List all beneficiaries
Construct a list of relatives, friends and charities that you would like to remember in your will. This can include your spouse, children, siblings, parents and in-laws, charities you support, and any other people or organizations that you want to leave some of your accumulated wealth to. Write down the exact assets or percentage of the total estate that each person or organization will receive.
4. Final wishes for your bodily remains
Perhaps you want to be interred in a tomb, with a simple grave, or extravagant headstone. Or maybe you
Contact a lawyer that specializes in estate law. They know the current rules and regulations regarding wills, how they may affect your wishes, and the best ways to take care of those left behind. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no substitute for a legal will. Writing a letter or informal statement about how you’d like your assets divided might be a nice gesture to your survivors, but does not take the place of a will. Don’t risk your financial legacy being mismanaged. Don’t jeopardize the understanding of your final wishes. You can purchase a kit to create a will yourself. This will be less expensive than using a lawyer, but may not be as binding and watertightas you might like. If your will has complex instructions, it’s best to consult a lawyer.
Maintaining your wishes
Divorces, new marriages, new children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, favorite charities or new circumstances may raise the need to change your will, to either include new entries to your will, or have some taken out of it. After having your last will and testament written up, signed and witnessed, you will have to make changes to it as your life unfolds.
Make it a habit to revisit your final wishes when life changes occur, or every few years. That way, you can rest assured loved ones will be taken care of when you are gone.
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
James Lee “Jim” Ralph 1959-2024
Freedom, PA
In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Loretta Resendez 1959-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Rachel Quesada Rodriguez 1936-2024
La Verne, CA
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Jon Walter Scharer 1934-2024
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Det. Robert “Chuckles” Ramirez 1941-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Lawrence “Larry” Rich 2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Redlands, CA
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In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
Grace G. Ramirez 2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Bessie Ridley 1919-2024
Rosa Rojas 1945-2024 Colton, CA
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Nicola, Sr. Sciortino 1934-2024
Marvin O. Sherfey 1930-2024
Pomona, CA
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Louis Belmontes Sr., Ramos 1930-2024
Riverside, CA
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Shirley Johnson Ross 1930-2024
Sierra Vista, AZ
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Thomas Carney Shoultz 1932-2024
Victorville, CA
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Carolyn Sue Robb 1947-2024
Hemet, CA
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Ernestine H Seifert 1933-2024
Ontario, CA
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Michael Ann Reed 1947-2024
Chino Hills, CA
Barbara Sausser 1936-2024
Montclair, CA
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Lowell Kent Smith 1937-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Rachel Lydia Sanchez Rodriguez 1931-2024
Claremont, CA
Redlands, CA
Riverside, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Anna Seils 1946-2024
Upland, CA
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Jonathan Daniel Smith 1993-2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Goldie Scarborough 1940-2024
Chino, CA
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Rev. Nancy Grissom Self 1929-2024
Redlands, CA
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Robert “Bob” Soman 1932-2024
Riverside, CA
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Daniel T. Soso 1936-2024
Colton, CA
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Marjorie Van Horn 2024
San Bernardino, CA
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Ralf Sutton 1955-2024
Highland, CA
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Donald Gene Ware 1937-2024 Highland, CA
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Rae Marie Wojtasiewicz 1933-2024 Riverside, CA
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Emily Wright 1935-2024
Redlands, CA
Reinder (Roc) C. VanderWerff 1957-2024
Riverside, CA
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Arthur L. Welch 1937-2024 Banning, CA
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Harold Frank Wondolleck 1949-2024 Riverside, CA
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Barbara Zinsmeyer 1966-2024 Redlands, CA
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John V. Tomassi 1947-2024
Wauchula, FL
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Neil Dwight Vandruff 1932-2024 Hemet, CA
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Tom and Julie Torrence 1936-2024 & 1933-2018 Cherry Valley, CA
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Cecilia Valera 1947-2024
Riverside, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Colton, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
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Richard Joseph MD, Wilson 1932-2024 Redlands, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
In Loving Memory
Upland, CA
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Tanna Antonette Bullard 1949-2024
Las Vegas, NV
Mary Ann Woods 1937-2024
Rancho Mirage, CA
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Erin Walsh Dyer 1966-2024 Seligman, AZ
Capp Wyatt II Wormley 1938-2024 Riverside, CA
Rosemary Peters To 1931- 2024
Montebello, CA In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory In Loving Memory
DIRECTORY
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Akes Family Funeral Home......................... www.akesfamilyfuneralhome.com
Arlington Mortuary ...................................... www.arlingtonmortuary.com
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Final Tribute ................................................ www.finaltribute.net
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Ingold Funeral Chapel ................................ www.ingoldfuneralandcremation.com
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McWane Family Funeral Home .................. www.mcwanefamily.com
Miller-Jones Mortuary................................. www.miller-jones.com
Murrieta Valley Funeral Home .................... www.murrietavalleyfuneralhome.com
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Preston and Simons Mortuary.................... www.preston-simonsmortuary.com
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Sierra Memorial Chapel Mortuary .............. www.thomasmillermortuary.com
Sunset Funeral Care ................................... www.sunsetfuneralcare.com
Thomas Miller Mortuary ............................. www.thomasmillermortuary.com
Todd Memorial Chapel ............................... www.toddmemorialchapel.com
Weaver Mortuary ........................................ www.weaver-mortuary.com
Wiefels & Son Mortuary .............................. www.wiefelsmortuary.com
