Santa Clara Review, Vol. 98, Issue 2

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santa clara review since 1869


santa clara review since 1869

E d i t o r -­‐‑ i n -­‐‑ C h i e f joshua fredkin

P r o d u c t i o n E d i t o r sara phillips

F i c t i o n E d i t o r stephanie mita

A r t E d i t o r kristen rieke

A s s o c i a t e E d i t o r dana nialis P o e t r y E d i t o r stephen layton N o n -­‐‑ F i c t i o n E d i t o r eliza lamson P u b l i c R e l a t i o n s D i r e c t o r hannah miller

M u s i c & M a r k e t i n g D i r e c t o r taara khalilnaji

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A s s i s t a n t E d i t o r s claire smith veronica rodriguez aven satre-­‐‑meloy lauren donati hallie mcknight eric ackerman ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ Ĵ jenny vandenbelt carolyn jones joseph forte felicia fregoso mara mayora katie simmons ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ

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E d i t o r i a l B o a r d justin lorentz henry gage maria lopez victoria yap katherine white joe kerwin ayja bounous sarah gasman jesse wackerbarth jacob wagner alvaro rodriguez caitlin thompson katherine king sara martineau Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ suzanne azpeitia

F a c u l t y A d v i s o r kirk glaser volume 98 number 2 spring/summer 2011


This issue of santa clara review proudly features cover art by Beverly Rayner. Gene Pool Repository, 2006 wooden cabinet, vintage photographs, plexiglas, paint The santa clara review is published biannually by Santa Clara University ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ę ǰȱ ę ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ santa clara review is not ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǞŗŚǯŖŖȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱǞŘŜǯŖŖȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǞŝǯśŖȱǻ ȱǞŗǯŖŖȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ǽǯ To facilitate accurate reproduction of your piece, we welcome submissions online via our website: www.santaclarareview.com You may also send correspondence, including address changes, subscrip-­‐‑ ȱ ǰȱ ǯǰȱ DZ santa clara review Santa Clara University śŖŖȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¡ȱřŘŗŘ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱşśŖśřȬřŘŗŘ ǻŚŖŞǼȱśśŚȬŚŚŞŚ No manuscripts or artwork can be returned unless accompanied by a self-­‐‑ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱsanta clara review may ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĵȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ £ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŗşŚŘ ȱ ǯȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱŜŖǛȱ ǰȱǻŗŖŖƖȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǼDzȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŞŞǛȱǻŞŖƖȱ ¢ ȦŚŖƖȱ ȱ ȱ ǼDzȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ şśǛȱ ȱ ǻŗŖŖƖȱ ¢ ȦśŖƖȱ ȱ ȱ ǼDzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ǯȱ ¢ǯ The santa clara reviewȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ


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MENTAL IMPROVEMENT

“when several young gentlemen of the College [decided to] publish a journal, their object was stated to be mental improvement and to evince that improvement in their endeavors”

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǰȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱǻ Ğ ȱ Ǽ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ the Dead and Dying—Typhoon ȱ ȱǻ Ğ

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ȱ ȱ ȱ śŞȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Nature: An Interview with Beverly Rayner



letter from the editor ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ of pieces we happened to send to the printer at publishing time— ¢Ȭ ¡ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ An ancient belief from the Talmud states that within every generation ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ¡ȱLamed Vav Tzadikimǰȱ ¢Ȭ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ on earth, whose role it is to justify the purpose of humankind to ȱ ǯȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ within the pages of this journal may not be able to substantiate the ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¡ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱSanta Clara Review is proud to be the ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ şŞȯ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ěǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Rayner for her illuminating interview, for allowing us to publish her work, Accretion, and for contributing our cover, the fascinating Gene Pool Repository. ¢Ȭ ¡ȱ ¡ ȱ ǯ Enjoy, Joshua Fredkin and the Santa Clara Review editors



ainsley kelly |

Intercessions My  window  slides  between  me and  the  light,  which  stands  between Â?‘Žȹ Â’—Â?˜ ȹŠ—Â?ČąÂ?‘ŽȹÂ?›ŽŽǯȹȹ Š–™•’Â?‘Â? illuminates  the  undersides of  insects,  and  leafless  twigs like  blackened  cobwebs   ÂŠÂ›ÂŽČąÂŽÂ?Œ‘ŽÂ?ȹ’—Â?Â˜ČąÂ?‘Žȹ—’Â?‘Â?ÇŻ ÂŒÂ›Â˜ÂœÂœČąÂ?‘Žȹ ÂŠ¢ǹȹŠ—˜Â?‘Ž›ȹ Â’—Â?˜ ǯ ˜–ŽÂ?‘’—Â?ČąÂ’ÂœČąÂŠÂ• ÂŠ¢ÂœČąÂ˜Â‹ÂœÂŒÂžÂ›ÂŽÂ?ÇŻ For  what  surrounds  the  lamps with  nimbuses,  but  scratches  on  the  glass? ListenÇ°Čą Â˜Â–ÂŽÂ˜Â—ÂŽČąÂ’ÂœČąÂ™Â•ÂŠ¢Â’—Â?ČąÂ?‘ŽȹÂ?ž’Â?Š›ǯ

ainsley kelly | 1


doug margeson |

Deadlines ȱ

ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ “Good God, sir, how would you like it if you were lying there and somebody was trying to take your picture?” ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǯȱȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȬȬȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱřśȱ ǯ ǯ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Besides, the inside of the aid car was too dark for my camera ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ scheme of things, in comparison with the kid’s death -­‐‑-­‐‑ just another death, one of scores like it that week, hundreds like it that month, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ǯȱwho cares! ȬȬȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ The medics pumped the kid’s chest and shot him full of adrenalin and one of them fainted from the heat in the cramped ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ I wanted to take one of those hands and feel its warmth and say,

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ȃ Ȃ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ would be another one and I would shoot my photos and write ¢ȱ ¢Dzȱ ě ȱ ǰȱ ě ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Some say newspapers shouldn’t print photos of demolished ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ appeal to people who get some kind of sick kick out if it, so the ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ¢ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱĚ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ “Beautiful morning, eh?” the cop said as he sipped his cof-­‐‑ ǯȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ğ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢-­‐‑ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ

doug margeson | 3


ȱ ȱ ě ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ Ğ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ “Guess he’ll have to sit out his senior prom,” a Marine said to me about a Vietnamese teenager propped against a wall, his legs ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¡ȱǯŚśȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱŗŜȱ ȱ ȱŚŖǯ The medics prodded her chest and her stomach as gently as ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ¢ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ stood still but my bonesȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱĚ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ¢ǯȱ For, you see, she made the same sound a woman makes in ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

4 | santa clara review


they stay, coming forth sometimes when you try to sleep or try to ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ the peaceful eyes of a sleeping child, the peaceful eyes of a child ten ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ close to your spine, because if you think about it, if for a moment you can’t not think about it, you know, oh how you know, that they Ȃ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱȱ ¢ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ downtown Rotary club had more value, in the judgment of people ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ at morning editorial meetings, the smug people, the comfortable ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ that time, I also realized I had come to love something with just as ȱ DZȱ ȱȱ ǯȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Nearby, a tall, handsome cop, the kind you see in mov-­‐‑ ies but never in real life, so angular and spare and razor-­‐‑creased ȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ him and I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or just talking because ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ǰȱ Ȭ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ Ȃ ȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

doug margeson | 5


camille richter |

Unmentionables Â‘ÂŽČąÂ›Â’ÄšÂŽÂœČąÂ?‘›˜žÂ?Â‘ČąÂ™Â’Â•ÂŽÂœČąÂ˜Â?ČąÇžĹ˜Ĺ›ČąÂ™ÂŠÂ—Â?Â’ÂŽÂœ colored  like  party  favors in  search  of  secrets  of  women with  names  like  Victoria ÂœÂ‘ÂŽČąÂ”Â—Â˜ ÂœČąÂœÂ‘ŽȂ••ȹ—ŽÂ&#x;Ž›ȹ‘ŽŠ›ǯ Slipping  into  an  open room,  too  shy  to ask  for  the  key, that  lacy  triangle over  her  Mervyn’s  brand elastic  band, ‘Ž›ȹ•’Ĵ•ŽȹÂ?Â’Â›Â•Č‚ÂœČąÂ‹Â›Â’ÂŽÂ?œǰ frayed  from  thighs  rubbing beneath  basketball  shorts,  Â‹ÂŽÂ? ÂŽÂŽÂ—ČąÂ“ÂžÂ–Â™ČąÂ›Â˜Â™ÂŽÂœÇŻ ŽĚŽŒÂ?Â’Â˜Â—ÂœČąÂ’Â—ČąÄšÂžÂ˜Â›ÂŽÂœÂŒÂŽÂ—Â?ȹ•’Â?‘Â? ›ŽÂ&#x;ÂŽÂŠÂ•ČąÂŽÂŠÂŒÂ‘ČąÂ?Â›ÂŽÂŒÂ”Â•ÂŽČąÂŠÂ—Â?ČąÂ‹Â›ÂžÂ’ÂœÂŽÇŻ The  bristle  of  sunshine  blonde  Â•ÂŽÂ?ȹ‘Š’›ȹŠ—Â?ČąÂ?Â˜Â˜ÂœÂŽÂ‹ÂžÂ–Â™ÂœÇŻ Â‘ÂŽČąÂ•ÂŠÂŒÂ”ČąÂ˜Â?ČąÂ‘Â’Â™ÂœÇŻ The  seamless  grace  Â˜Â?ČąÂœÂ•Â’Â?‘Â?ČąÂ‹Â›ÂŽÂŠÂœÂ?ÂœÇŻ ˜œÂ?ǰȹ’—ȹÂ?Š—Â?•’—Â?ČąÂ?ÂŠÂ‹Â›Â’ÂŒÇŻ ÂœČąÂ?Â‘Â’ÂœČąÂ?‘Žȹ‹ŽŠžÂ?¢ȹ˜Â?ČąÂ‘ÂŽÂ›ČąÂœÂŽÂĄÇľ

6 | santa clara review


She walks, with caution, ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰ to test if it detects, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ǯ ¢ȱ ȱ ę of thirteen years the think they hear those ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

camille richter | 7


marc foster |

Mrs. Van Allen Addresses the Babysitter ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ şŗ ȱ ȱ ř ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ dinner and cocktails tonight, so I should be home by ten at the ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ it’s a dire emergency and you can’t reach me or Doctor Polk, then call an ambulance, but otherwise, what’s the order? ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǵȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ * * * ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ In case you get hungry, let me show you, here, in the fridge, Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ

8 | santa clara review


Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ŝŖȂ ǰȱ ȱ ȱŚŖȂ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Ƿȱ ȱ¢ ȱ mind passing me the ashtray, Milo? ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȯ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ĝ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ ǯ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ be it? ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ The irony is that Malcolm probably wouldȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¡Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ

marc foster | 9


ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę¡ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ

Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ƿȱ Ȭ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ¢ǵȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¤Ƿȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ Ȭ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ

¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ sail, grasp the tiller, and you do have a wonderful sense of freedom ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱClaribelle imitating

ȱ ¢ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

10 | santa clara review


ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Can you pass the ashtray, dear? ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǯ Between you and me, sometimes I think Malcolm and I are ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ I don’t mean to imply she’s a Kennedy-­‐‑style limousine ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ interview on Firing Line with Stokely Carmichael in which he absolutely laid bare the contradictions of the so-­‐‑called Black Panther ǯȱ I like Buckley because he’s a Republican, but not one of ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ £ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ¢ȱ

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ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ƿȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ doing in an apartment like this? Are you done with your nap, sweet thing? Speaking of naps, Milo, one thing I want to discuss is your ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ make a racket in the front hall if someone tries to enter, but I would ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ agreement? * * * ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ must insist that you not thank me for buying you books! You should think of it as an obligation on my part—older generation educating ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǵȱ ǵȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ that come from? ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȭ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ

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ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ not to make him partner, he began to act out, because for seven years he’s done everything they wanted him to do: he shined his ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ he would rather start spending more time with a woman who ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ I don’t want to cast aspersions, but I will say that Charlene ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ¢ȱ ȱę ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ¢ǯȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱę ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯȱ Are you sure you don’t want something to eat, dear, or ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ǵ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱşŝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę¡ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ the thigh, oh my, so much for this pair! I’ll keep my legs crossed so you won’t notice, how’s that? ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ and I had a pied-­‐‑à-­‐‑terre—that’s a kind of tiny apartment—on Bank ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ę¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Anne’s birth was the happiest day of my life, as I’m sure your ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ oyster for months, not saying a thing, and then he’d do something ǯȱ I said we could get spacious digs uptown for not much money, and wasn’t it premature to leave all the advantages of the ¢ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ¡ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ started working longer hours, and when he was home he holed ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ

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Now he comes to visit Anne once every two weeks, but I ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¡ǯȱ ȱ ǯ That’s all right, I’ve had enough refreshments for one ǯȱ ȱ¢ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ you mind, terribly? ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ¢Ƿ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ we possibly need? ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ · ȱ ǯȱ ȱ

£ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ that Eileen wanted to see The French Connection, but of course I had ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ heard me say that? Yes, my view is that if it’s not live, it’s not art, ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯ It turns out this woman Eileen lives two blocks from ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ upbringing? No? Back then it was my sister and me and my parents, the ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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¢ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘśȱ¢ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ At the end of senior year in college, one of the girls in my ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ££ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ŝDZŘŖǷȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Around nine o’clock, if you would be so kind as to give ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ƿ * * * ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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ǯȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ƿ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǯ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ I was standing on the curb at Bloomingdale’s waiting for ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ this big Puerto Rican character with sideburns had got hold of my ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ halfway down the block with my purse, not engaged in a tug-­‐‑of-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱşŜ ȱ ǯ Now they tell you not to resist, and I know I shouldn’t have, ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¡ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ when he started to get rough I hit back, and that obviously made ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ that, given the choice between reading and brushing one’s teeth,

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ best! Thank you! ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǯ Something to eat? No? ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱę ę ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ the miraculous thing about someone your age, or someone Anne’s ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ You see, sometimes I worry that I’m not such a terribly good ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

18 | santa clara review


ǯȱ ¢ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯ So what do you think? Do you think I’m a good listener? ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ę ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ę ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ǵȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ Ȭ Ƿȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ƿȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ ǯǵȱ ǯ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ĝ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯ

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* * * ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ starting kindergarten in the fall, we’re going to have time together ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ƿȱ ǰȱ Ƿȱ Ƿ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ Ĵ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȬ ěȬ ¢ǯȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ĥ Ȃ ȱHunger Artistǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ her? * * * ȱ

ǰȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ¢ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱę ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ I’m very impressed with the caliber of your correspondence, but ¢ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

20 | santa clara review


could put everything back to where we were last year, but I’m afraid Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ DZȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȁ Ȭȱ ȱ ǰȂȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȁ Ȭ ȱ ȱ Ȭȱ ȱ ǰȂȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ¢ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱȱ with Frances makes me think how much I enjoy your ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱȱ wrong? Is it wrong for someone my age to be in love with ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ you had been through my underwear drawer, and that there were ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ Ƿȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱę ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ we can’t continue having our conversations, and I don’t think it’s ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ

marc foster | 21


ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ ǯǵ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ * * * ȱ

ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ have to sneak out of the apartment? Your mother’s not returning ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ the window and saw the rain, and the leaves being swept down ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ŝŖ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ I froze, and I thought: what if Anne sees her father with this 21-­‐‑year-­‐‑old or nineteen-­‐‑year-­‐‑old, or whatever she is? I wanted to ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯ

22 | santa clara review


You Have the Right to Your Body

melina ramirez | acrylic paint and black glitter on canvas 2.5’ by 1.5’


I’ll Be Damned

contact this artist at: elijennett@hotmail.com

| elijah jennett spray paint/stencil on canvas 16”x20”


Untitled

taylor rulon-­miller | digital print shot with diana style camera 12” by 12”

contact this artist at: taytayru@gmail.com


Hope Floats

contact this artist at: vmgarcia@scu.edu.

| veronica garcia digital photograph 5� by 7�


All of the Lights

alejandra germann | digital photograph 8� by 10�


Purple Weight

contact this artist at: charlotta.kratz@gmail.com

| charlotta kratz digital photograph 5� by 7.5�


Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose (after Sargent)

charlotte allen | oil on canvas 24� by 30�

contact this artist at: ch.allen1989@gmail.com


Mictecacihuatl

contact this artist at: ari_rodriguez5490@yahoo.com

| ariana rodriguez digital photograph 7� by 14�


marty saunders |

Affe mit Schädel — “Monkey with Skull”

ȱ ǰȱŗŞşř ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ “is tomorrow’s promise, I see occupation in the caverns of my re-­‐‑ Ě ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ “To remain in this country’s pregnant embrace,” said the jaw, “is to accept faces draped and hooded, but these, these cannot ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¬ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ǰȱȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱĚ Dzȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ This language breaks at feelings of purple and blue spreading be-­‐‑ neath the skin, at green sprouting from mouths that once lapped a ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃȱ ǰȄȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȁ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ “But we skulls,” turned the cheek, “…we have seen the black-­‐‑ironed bombs scratch out our people’s faces, and those that ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ Just then, the sockets began to speak again, saying: ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ “This is the inheritance of loss,” said the disjointed, human ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

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chelsea henshey |

Seal of Confession ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ thought of himself as the ultimate actor, the symbol of comfort and ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Father Moore believed in the anonymity of a confessional ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ his congregation—the father who lusted over his daughter, the son ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Growing up cloistered, a circumstantial only child, Kenneth ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ intense dementia, kept Kenneth hidden in the leaking corners of a ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ The confessional reminded Kenneth of the cabin—the ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȯ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ŗşŜŘȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ in his camp shorts every time Presley reached the chorus of “Good ȱ ǰȄȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ around their boyish necks from tied laces—to avoid the clunk and ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱĚ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ “But what if he does?” Kenneth watched his brother untie ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Dzȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ “I’ll tell dad it’s my fault, ok?” ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ

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transformed into the shape and hue of a bruise, the bull’s-­‐‑eye of a ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ¢ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŗŘȬ¢ Ȭ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Kenneth was found halfway in the boat, his head in the hollow ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ

chelsea henshey | 35


ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ pictured his mother in the throes of labor, her collapsing organs ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ imagined her smiling as they held up George, then suddenly ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ dzȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ğ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱȃ ǵȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ Ȭ Ĵ ȱ ȱ Ğ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ “It’s been a long time,” Georgeȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱę ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱę ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ sense: the pain drilling bits out of his skull was evidently caused by ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱGeorgeȱ ǯȱ ȱ he talked to himself at night, when he delivered a sermon, when ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ Ğ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ darkness and glared, failed to convert himself to Georgeǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ She generally didn’t make deliveries, but as if it would save her ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

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ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ę ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ of laughter, but the deep valleys of her forehead resonated with ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ dedication: Donated by Regina Garthey, in loving memory of my mother, Hannah Gartheyǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Regina suggested following him home, warming the pie as ¢ȱȃ ȱ Ȅȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ

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ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ Ȭ Ȭ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ğȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ¢ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ “Did they teach you that in school? I can see how much it’s ǯǯǯȄ ȱ ȃ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

chelsea henshey | 39


ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ę ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ¢Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ěȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ Kenneth plucked a lily from the arrangement, crunched its ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ “Forgive me father for I have sinned…” Someone had been ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ dzȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ people happy, I like to see their feelings…You see I don’t remember ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ

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since I hired a helper, he’s shown up and ordered anything in her ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ǵȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ Dzȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ blocks south, and turned into the alleyway between the bakery and ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Kenneth liked it that way, occupying the top half of an abandoned ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ǰȱ

chelsea henshey | 41


they would never imagine the presence of a lonely priest looming ǯȱ As he reached the steel door, Kenneth paused to rub his ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱĚ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱŗŖȬ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱĚ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ǯȱFather Moore, what are you trying to prove?

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madeleine sears |

Lovedrug / Indian Summer Mumbai, India Boundless inclusion in the heart of all that has become. ~Buddha ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ You fed into my veins and ran through my bloodstream to every ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȮȱŘřřȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŗŚȱ ȱ ǯ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ The trains are the veins through the body of Mumbai. People stream through the cement overpass, much too narrow for ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ę ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ while another women’s face is one train jolt away from landing in ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ

madeleine sears | 43


of Indian women and myself works both for and against me at this ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ceiling of the train car, yet tall enough to feel violated by the Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ The God of All Things. A striking orange sari draped over warm brown skin with a gold ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ȱ ǯ A defecating man witnessed through the rusting metal bars of a ȱ ǯ ȱŜŖȬ¢ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȯȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ A hostel located 40 minutes outside the city center becoming a ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǰȱ drinking chai, smoking hashish in a linoleum lined storage room, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ řŖȱ ǯȱ Rain leaking in, a dirty sidewalk as a bed, and street water splashing ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱǻŗşŘŚǼǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱŗřȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

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ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ĝ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ǯ £¢ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Mumbai scrapes you raw– a compilation of journal entries. July 30, 2010 ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ě ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ Maybe to be closer to God, maybe to grow as people, maybe to feel ȱ ǯ July 31, 2010 In my head I have an English/Indian accent right now because I Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ August 1, 2010 I may or may not have just caused a bike with a bag of dead chickens ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ If I rid myself of [negative thoughts and emotions], or try to, I will ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

madeleine sears | 45


August 2, 2010 Today I saw probably the most heart wrenching thing I have ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŜȬ¢ Ȭȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŞŖȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ sore on her cheek and was literally wasting away, an obvious AIDS ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ got infected and now relies on her young son to beg for her on the ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ help but feel so bad for her son who will probably lose his mother ȱ ȱ ȱŞȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ August 4, 2010 ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ August 6, 2010 ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ I have found the Divine. ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱĚ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ smell of body odor and incense, garbage covered coastline, children snatching at my pockets, swirling chaos of people/rickshaws/bikes/ Ȧ Ȧ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ Blessed art though amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ naked babies, wounded, begging, pregnant, despairing, dying, Ȯȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ

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mark fitzgerald |

Hunger It grows stronger the more we feed it, ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ through the door, but in what keeps ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ĵ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

mark fitzgerald | 47


deborah gold |

After ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯȱ -­‐‑ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱę ǰȱ ǰȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ŘŞȬ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ DZȱ stomach-­‐‑tingling evenings collaborating on menus and lists—alert ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȯ ¢ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯ Good Parents move clumsily around, their suspicions near-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ £ ȯ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ would be spring? If he’d just crack one more half-­‐‑smile, or say a single word, ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ cowgirl who’d dismiss the night’s clutchings with a shrug and wry ǯ Before, you’d pitied the other moms, sparks gone from their ǰȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ǰȱ Ğ ǰȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ to wake from drive-­‐‑induced naps and hear their children’s Playsta-­‐‑ tion shrieks and husbands moving crap around the basement or ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ to waken from your dream, so glad of their dullness, so glad they ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯ

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jessica poli |

Diagram ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ I thought he would peel me open like an orange, split the rind, thick epicarp stripped, shuck this raw husk to see what’s underneath, high in tannins & other polyphenols—I’d die & dye, dour milkglass mouth ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ of anatomy & morning that we weren’t anything, white thigh against milk— ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ I have split myself in two & found nothing, I have halved the single cell where I thought we kept our ventricles, but it only spilled dissolved molecules that might have been part of a hand or some absent organ, & I have diagrammed it all to remember every way ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

jessica poli | 49


tom andes |

“…And Then I Became an Adjunct”; Or, Fourteen Ways of Looking at an Adjunct; Or, The Whale ȱ

ȱ Ĵ ȱ

ŗǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěǰȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ a year, they’d enrolled me in the second grade several towns away ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘDZŚśǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ŗŖȱ ȱ ŗśȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ in front of the school several hours later, when the sun set, and the ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŚśȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ from New Durham, a considerably longer drive when the weather ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ weather was always bad—half of it along a dirt road, and once she found out where I lived, nobody in her right mind would have ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ¢Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

tom andes | 50


ȱŘǯ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱę ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ station wagon, which I’d commandeered since moving out of my Ȃȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ě¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȱȃ ¢ Ȃ ȱę ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ since he didn’t have a license, and he was on parole, if he’d pulled ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ a patch of ice and lost control of the car, which spun three times ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱśŖȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱȃ ȱ Ğȱ¢ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

Ȃ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ out the night before when we’d sideswiped a loading dock doing donuts in a warehouse parking lot, and I’d landed on my face in ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ my parents gave me an ultimatum: I could keep my rented room in ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ Thus began my academic career, which is to say, my career as an ǯ řǯ Some months before the accident, in that same station wagon, driving back to Andy’s one morning, we’d seen an old man riding

tom andes | 51


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱȃ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ guy,” Sean said, rolling down the window, and he leaned out the Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ Ğ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ tell people obliging Sean that morning was the worst thing I’d ever ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Śǯ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ śǯ My freshman year, Christian lived across the hall in the dorms on the British campus, and many was the night we’d made the shamefaced procession to his door, furtively bumming a couple ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ passed the bong and read passages from The Iliad out loud to each ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Ŝǯ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱȱ From there on out, she and I spent all our time together smoking pot and drinking beer in her car while we drove from house to house ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ which we’d drive out onto the endless grid of empty county roads ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ ěȬ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ the three of us sat in a room in one of his father’s warehouses on

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ħ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ New York Trilogy— Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱBraveheartǯȱȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ night, therefore sparing me a serious bump in the road to academic ǯȱȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱřŘǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱŘŘŖǰŖŖŖȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ŝǯ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ¢ȱ Ğ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ of scorched upholstery, aware of the unpleasantly intense heat in ȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ from one end of the building to the other, pounding on doors until ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ¢ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ the scorched remains of my armchair were doing in front of my Dzȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱǻ ¢Ǽȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ smoke-­‐‑damaged copy of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a novel

tom andes | 53


Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Şǯ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ than ask Peter to drop me at the station, I asked him to drop me at ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ the remains of the lunch I’d packed for myself, anticipating a full ¢Ȃ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ northbound train, but it wasn’t until I’d arrived home, eaten a plate ȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ realized what the other passengers on the train and my roommates ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ my alma mater didn’t accept for publication, though they accepted ȱ ǰȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ memories of those times—an uncharacteristically happy poem, I felt when I wrote it—a poem that eventually appeared as the second entry under publications on my resume when I began looking for ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ şǯ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ bedroom house with her cousin, who was still in high school, and ȱ Ȃ ȱę ·ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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onto the same room, so any one of those moonlit country lanes Ȃ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ŗŖǯ At 24, a college graduate, I moved from the front of the house to the back of the house at the French Caribbean restaurant where I ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ with me, I found third waitress inferior to her friends, though later, ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ of A History of Sexuality Vol. 1 by Michel Foucault, thinking it might ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ this point, I can only assume everybody in that room knew I was ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ŗŗǯ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ The third waitress spent a year hanging out with anarchists in San ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ

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Ĺ—Ĺ˜ÇŻ My  job  in  California  consisted  of  proctoring  electronically  ÂŠÂ?–’—’œÂ?Ž›ŽÂ?ČąÂ?ÂŽÂœÂ?ÂœČąÂŠÂ?ȹŠȹ ›˜–ŽÂ?Â›Â’ÂŒČą ÂŽÂœÂ?’—Â?Čą Ž—Â?Ž›ȹ’—ȹ Š—ȹ ›Š—Œ’œŒ˜ǯȹȹ Most  of  the  other  TCAs—“Test  Center  Administratorsâ€?—were  ÂŒÂ˜Â•Â•ÂŽÂ?ÂŽČą ÂœÂ?žÂ?Ž—Â?ÂœÇ°Čą Ä™Â&#x;ÂŽČą ¢ÂŽÂŠÂ›ÂœČą ¢Â˜ÂžÂ—Â?Ž›ȹ Â?‘Š—ȹ Čą  ÂŠÂœÇ°Čą  Â‘Â’ÂŒÂ‘Čą –ŠÂ?ÂŽČą –Žȹ Â?ÂŽÂŽÂ•ČąÂ•Â’Â”ÂŽČąÂŠČąÂŒÂ›ÂŽÂŽÂ™¢ȹ˜•Â?ȹ–Š—ǯȹȹ ‘˜žÂ?‘ȹ Č‚Â?ČąÂ?›ŠÂ?žŠÂ?ÂŽÂ?ČąÂ?Â›Â˜Â–ČąÂŒÂ˜Â•Â•ÂŽÂ?ÂŽÇ°Čą Čą  ÂŠÂ—Â?ÂŽÂ?ČąÂ?Â˜ČąÂ?ÂŽÂ?ȹ’—Â?Â˜ČąÂ?‘Žȹ ČąÂ™Â›Â˜Â?›Š–ȹŠÂ?Čą Š—ȹ Â›ÂŠÂ—ÂŒÂ’ÂœÂŒÂ˜Čą Â?ŠÂ?ÂŽǯȹȹ Â’Â?‘ȹ my  bachelor’s  degree,  I  made  the  same  wage  these  kids  did,  12  Â?Â˜Â•Â•ÂŠÂ›ÂœČąÂŠÂ—ČąÂ‘Â˜ÂžÂ›DzȹÂ?‘˜žÂ?‘ȹ ČąÂ?Â’Â?—ȂÂ?ȹ•’”ŽȹÂ?Â˜ČąÂ?Â‘Â’Â—Â”ČąÂ˜Â?ȹ–¢ÂœÂŽÂ•Â?ČąÂŠÂœČąÂŠÂ–Â‹Â’Â?Â’Â˜ÂžÂœÇ°Čą I  craved  professional  advancement  or  at  least  a  few  more  years  respite  from  the  working  world,  besides  which,  I  could  always   Â›Â’Â?ÂŽČą Šȹ —˜Â&#x;Ž•ǯȹ Čą —ȹ Â?‘Ž˜›¢ǰȹ Čą •’”ŽÂ?Čą  Â˜Â›Â”’—Â?Čą ŠÂ?Čą ›˜–ŽÂ?Â›Â’ÂŒČą Â‹ÂŽÂŒÂŠÂžÂœÂŽČą aside  from  the  times  when  I  needed  to  check  test-­â€?‑takers  in  or  out,  I  ÂŒÂ˜ÂžÂ•Â?ȹŽ’Â?Â‘ÂŽÂ›ČąÂœÂ’Â?ȹŠÂ?ČąÂ?‘ŽȹÂ?ÂŽÂœÂ”ČąÂŠÂ—Â?ȹ›ŽŠÂ?ČąÂ˜Â›ČąÂœÂ–Â˜Â”ÂŽČąÂŒÂ’Â?ÂŠÂ›ÂŽÄ´ÂŽÂœČąÂ˜Â—ČąÂ?‘Žȹꛎȹ ŽœŒŠ™ŽDzȹÂ’Â—ČąÂŠÂŒÂ?ÂžÂŠÂ•ČąÂ™Â›ÂŠÂŒÂ?Â’ÂŒÂŽÇ°ČąÂŽÂ&#x;Ž›¢ȹÂ?’–Žȹ ČąÂœÂ?Š›Â?ÂŽÂ?ČąÂ?Â˜ČąÂ?ÂŽÂ?ȹ’—Â&#x;˜•Â&#x;ÂŽÂ?ȹ’—ȹŠȹ —˜Â&#x;ÂŽÂ•ČąÂ˜Â›ČąÂœÂ?Ž™™ŽÂ?ČąÂ˜ÂžÂ?œ’Â?ÂŽČąÂ?Â˜ČąÂ•Â’Â?‘Â?ČąÂŠČąÂŒÂ’Â?ÂŠÂ›ÂŽÄ´ÂŽÇ°ČąÂœÂ˜Â–ÂŽÂ˜Â—ÂŽČąÂ—ÂŽÂŽÂ?ÂŽÂ?ČąÂ–Â˜Â›ÂŽČą scratch  paper,  which  I  found  more  maddening  than  not  being  able  Â?Â˜ČąÂ›ÂŽÂŠÂ?ČąÂ˜Â›ČąÂœÂ–Â˜Â”ÂŽČąÂŠÂ?ȹ Â˜Â›Â”ȹ’—ȹÂ?Â‘ÂŽČąÄ™Â›ÂœÂ?ČąÂ™Â•ÂŠÂŒÂŽǯȹȹ ČąÂœÂ™ÂŽÂ—Â?ČąÂ?Â‘ÂŽČąÂ–Â˜Â›Â—Â’Â—Â?ČąÂ˜Â?Čą Ž™Â?ÂŽÂ–Â‹ÂŽÂ›ČąĹ—Ĺ—Ç°ČąĹ˜Ĺ–Ĺ–Ĺ—ČąÄ™ÂŽÂ•Â?’—Â?ČąÂ™Â‘Â˜Â—ÂŽČąÂŒÂŠÂ•Â•ÂœČąÂ?Â›Â˜Â–ČąÂ’Â›ÂŠÂ?ÂŽČąÂ?ÂŽÂœÂ?ČąÂ?ÂŠÂ”ÂŽÂ›ÂœČąÂžÂ™ČąÂŠÂ—Â?Čą Â?˜ Â—ČąÂ?‘Žȹ ˜›Â?‘Ž›—ȹ Š•’Â?Â˜Â›Â—Â’ÂŠČąÂŒÂ˜ÂŠÂœÂ?ǯȹȹ —’Â?’Š••¢ǰȹÂ—Â˜ČąÂ˜Â—ÂŽČąÂŠÂ?Čą ›˜–ŽÂ?Â›Â’ÂŒČą seemed  to  grasp  the  seriousness  of  what  had  happened  in  New  York,  and  they  adhered  to  their  policy  of  not  granting  refunds  for  cancellations  within  24  hours  of  a  scheduled  test,  a  policy  it  fell  Â?Â˜ČąÂ–ÂŽČąÂ?Â˜ČąÂŽÂ—Â?Â˜Â›ÂŒÂŽČąÂ˜Â&#x;Ž›ȹÂ?‘ŽȹÂ?Ž•Ž™‘˜—Žǯȹȹ —ȹ›ŽÂ?›˜œ™ŽŒÂ?Ç°Čą ČąÂŒÂ˜Â—ÂœÂ’Â?Ž›ȹÂ?Â‘Â’ÂœČą Š™™›˜™›’ŠÂ?ÂŽČąÂ?›Š’—’—Â?ČąÂ?Â˜Â›ČąÂ‹ÂŽÂŒÂ˜Â–Â’Â—Â?ȹŠ—ȹŠÂ?“ž—ŒÂ?ÇŻ ŗřǯ A  few  weeks  before  we  broke  up,  my  then-­â€?‑girlfriend  told  me  she’d  been  thinking  about  moving  back  to  Fresno,  and  I  got  angry,  though  even  at  the  time,  I  felt  like  I  was  going  through  the  Â–˜Â?Â’Â˜Â—ÂœÇ°ČąÂ?ÂŽÂ’Â?—’—Â?ȹ Â‘ŠÂ?Čą ČąÂœÂ‘Â˜ÂžÂ•Â?ȹ‘ŠÂ&#x;ÂŽČąÂ?Ž•Â?ȹ’Â?Čą Č‚Â?ČąÂŠÂŒÂ?žŠ••¢ȹŒŠ›ŽÂ?ǯȹȹ —ȹ her  birthday,  I  got  angry  with  her  for  wearing  a  yellow  ribbon  on  Â‘ÂŽÂ›ČąÂ™ÂžÂ›ÂœÂŽǯȹȹ ÂŽÂ›ČąÂ‹Â›Â˜Â?‘Ž›ȏ’—ȏ•Š ȹ ÂŠÂœČąÂœÂŽÂ›Â&#x;’—Â?ȹ’—ȹ ›Ššǰȹ‹žÂ?ČąÂŠÂœČąÂŠÂ—ČąÂŠÂ&#x;Â’Â?Čą •’œÂ?Ž—Ž›ȹ ˜Â?Čą •ŽĞ Â’—Â?Čą ›ŠÂ?Â’Â˜Ç°Čą ÂŠÂœČą Š—ȹ ŠÂ&#x;Â’Â?Čą ›ŽŠÂ?Ž›ȹ ˜Â?Čą •ŽĞ Â’—Â?Čą  ÂŽÂ‹ÂœÂ’Â?ÂŽÂœÇ°Čą not  to  mention  a  full-­â€?‑time  graduate  student,  I’d  determined  that Â

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ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ĞȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱI’m sorry I ruined your birthdayǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ŗŚǯ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱę Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ idea of living together, but whenever one of us wanted to do it, the ȱ Ȃ ǯȱȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ people in our creative writing program, she didn’t want to go into ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ě ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ where I had friends who could get me classes, never mind the drive, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ · ·ȱ ȱ ȱ more to prepare me for a career I could only look forward to—and ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ę ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ǯ

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santa clara review |

Turning an Eye on Human Nature: An Interview with Beverly Rayner

Beverly Rayner was born and raised Connecticut, but has been living in the San Francisco Bay Area for over 30 years. She has a BFA in sculpture and an MFA in photography from San Jose State University. She has had an extensive exhibition history spanning more than 25 years, and her work is in several museum collections. Beverly’s rural New England roots reveal themselves in her love of the mysterious forms and rich ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ she grew up. In her mixed media artworks, she combines photographic images with all kinds of objects and materials in a great variety of ways, fusing them into entirely new, hybrid objects. She is currently teaching photography at Santa Clara University. To see more of her artwork, visit ȱ ȱ DZȱ Ĵ DZȦȦ ¢ ¢ ǯ Santa Clara Review:ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ visual and conceptual inspiration? Beverly Rayner:ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ relate to each other, how we relate to the world, and how we try to ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ a lot of great inspiration from listening to NPR, because there are ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ideas, and then they just percolate inside me until one pops up and ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR: That leads us into talking about how you make your art ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǵ BR:ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ but for years and years and years people have just brought me ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR:ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ genetics, and the surveillance devices? BR:ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ how things work, and in the minutia of things, both visually and ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ what that means on a more conceptual level as far as being humans and the hubris of thinking we can do what we want with genetic ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ of doing these things and then perhaps a century later realizing ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

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¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR: ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ £ ȱ ȱ ę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ BR:ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ But what you’ll see is that the eye pieces are all about surveillance ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ about our certain need to watch ourselves and protect ourselves from the evil within or without, and what does all of that mean? ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ into the internet, and then the pieces of information hook up with each other and become a sort of living entity that’s then accessed by ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR:ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ BR:ȱ ǰȱ ¡ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ SCR: Are you working on anything new? It sounds like your ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ BR:ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘŖŗřǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ a list, really, this long, of ideas, so when I start on it, I’ll look at that ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR: Now that you’re teaching here at Santa Clara, what do you hope to bring to the SCU community?

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BR: I’m teaching a digital photography class, which is just one Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ such a good feel about this place, I really respect the University’s ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ people’s minds who are looking down the straight photography ǰȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱȁ ¢ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȂȱȱ SCR: If a new student came to you not sure of his or her direction, what would you say about how to start practicing art in a way that inspires them? BR:ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ yourself, so to have a solid foundation you need to identify what ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǵȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ SCR:ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ capture a moment when you are inspired?

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BR: Because so much of it lives in my brain and then gets translated into a physical form, I need to write down what I’m thinking and ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ “That would make a great piece!” and suddenly I start to think ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ directly into the artwork, and sometimes it mutates as I’m making ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱę ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

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Accretion

beverly rayner |

polyester housecoat (extended with fabric, thread and fasteners), 100 years of ephemera from a single family, metal and stone lamp stand, wooden hanger

5’ x 12.5’ x 20.5’


Slavers Throwing Overboard the Dead and Dying—Typhoon Coming On (after ȹ ž›—Ž›ǟ

contact this artist at: mmelvin@scu.edu

mark melvin oil on canvas 30� by 40�


A Romance Written in los Stars, Wey

armando portillo| oil on canvas 24� by 30�

contact this artist at: aportillo@scu.edu


Vastness

contact this artist at: mreilly@scu.edu

| margot reilly mixed media 6� by 10�


Bay Bridge

thanna rajapakse | black and white photograph 5� by 7�

contact this artist at: srimani89@gmail.com


The Interview

contact this artist at: carolcollins.art@gmail.com

| carol collins digital photograph 16� by 28�


The Chairs

hallie mcknight | acrylic on canvas 16” by 20”


Submit

contact this artist at: annamarieleon@aol.com

| annamarie leon charcoal on BFK rives 22� by 30�


donna hunt |

Summer Mourning I tell Aimee August ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱŝ ǯȱȱ drone and whine, keep ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱřȱ ǯȱ £ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȭ ¢ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŚǯȱȱ ȱ truck wails as though synthesized, ę ǯȱȱ Ğ ȱśǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ Ȭ ȱ ǯȱȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ě ǯȱȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȱ Ȃ ȱ Ȭ Ȭ ǯ

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lisa ampleman |

I’ve been collecting this to tell you ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ bluegrass’s mournful picking fades to static as I drive into a high cloud’s shadow ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ to distract me, and so I list again ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱę ǯȱȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰ and it feels good to turn the steering wheel at just the right angle, to move farther and farther away from you, the sun so bright ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

ǯ A storm came through, strong from eating through empty prairie, the sky lit solid ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ though not supposed to—and watched, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǯ The rain frantic on the roof drowned out ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ

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ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ I nearly wrote this down on hotel stationery— but you have seen storms before and do not need to know ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ

ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ

If I scribbled some note and put a stamp on it, ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

ǯ We gather here to witness, the minister says, this man and this woman. They’re about to have their hearts sewn in, I think, and push down the silly pathos ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ¢ in the bones of my jaw, in the muscles ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰ ȱ

ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ

reaching up his back to draw them close, ȱ Ȃȱ ǯ

lisa ampleman | 73


ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ which drew out our eyes so well ȱ ȱ ǯ

ǯ A postcard:

ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ǯȱȱ ǰȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ

ȱ I’m sorry about how ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ

ǯ You are more present in your absence, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ǰ in the sunwarmed fabric you are not wearing, ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ I think of you in stairwells, in elevators, ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ I think of the way you pulled me into you even when my arm was taut with resisting, of the way you once stopped the loud bell of a lid clanging on the counter

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by clasping it to your chest ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

ǯ I am tired of plastic wrappers, of packaging, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ǰȱ ȱ needing disposal, of each popsicle wrapped ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ¢ȱ ǰ paper towels, pistachio shells, shiny piece of paper ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ Ğ ȱ Ĵ ǰ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ its own envelope, space saved by crossing lines ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ Since I cannot speak to you, as valediction, all tucked together, ȱę ȱ ȱ DZȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Two birds burst across the highway in play, ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯ

lisa ampleman | 75


robert mcguill |

Cabin Fever The old homestead cabin had leaned against the sky for as ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ and stick up the ass, ready to weather another hundred years of whatever man and God threw at it—providing the world itself held ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ

Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ respectability that could only be got by way of a plumb line, level, ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱ £ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ grass, checking the road for the knot of dust that would announce ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ years, and he would have been content had that number multiplied ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ log house might have been wrong, but at least the rest of the place ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ğȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

76 | santa clara review


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ weakness, money was Moyle’s, and this gave them ample incentive ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ to latch onto the thing he wanted most, yet still provide enough leeway that he could go on despising the other from a comfortable ǯ Dark clouds passǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱBlue heavens abide. ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȭ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Then, so as not to give Gil the satisfaction of catching him in the act ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǻ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ǽȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ granddad had built the place at the turn of the previous century and lived in it right up to the time he went into the veteran’s ȱ ȱ £ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ its construction, it had begun to list, set-­‐‑to on a drunken tilt by a ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ Ȭ ȱ ǯ ȱ

Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Instead he got philosophic, saying that from a distance ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ perspective worthy of consideration. ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ It was taken before the horseback accident that had crippled the old ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǻ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ǽȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ

robert mcguill | 77


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ sheepherder who goes by the name of Johnny Madrid—or so says the dubious ink scrawl on the photograph’s backside—while an ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱęĞ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ him and that the real laugh had been on Death itself, whose clutches he’d escaped through dumb luck and an unwillingness to go gently ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ in his wool socks, his granddad would stop what he was doing and ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ Ȭ step, shorter leg on the inside of the trail always keeping things Ȭ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ along over the loose rocks up through the scraggly wheatgrass ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ pistons thrumming, and once shut down, chugged a few times and ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ past the sharpie handshakes and not-­‐‑so-­‐‑furtive sizing up of one Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ

78 | santa clara review


¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯ “Dan?” Despite himself—or rather, despite his hope of appearing ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ name, and when he did his face went as gray and pale as a rain ǯ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ “Brenda?” ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ǵȄ Brenda Moyle was a small woman, slim and muscular with a bun of silver hair punched up under a fancy, broad-­‐‑brimmed ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȬęĴ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȃ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǯ She closed the door and leaned against the car’s polished ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ silver conches, the high-­‐‑dollar snakeskin boots, the fancy makeup—

robert mcguill | 79


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ drawing room and balancing teacups on her knees at the ladies’ ¢ǯ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ £ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ you Dan,” she said, stomping over and throwing her arms around ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ just hadȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ for Brenda that her personal misgivings had been laid to rest, he ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ Especially since he hadn’t been as fortunate as her and Gil, who were stocked up good on the one true salve for any ailment God or ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ DZȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱGilǯȄ She released him from the ropelike grip of her arms and clamped her hands on her hips, giving him a good up and down ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ¡ ¢ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ stung when he recalled the day he’d come home and found the note ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ would always love him—but that Gil could do for her in ways that Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ

ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ timbers with a banker’s remorse, tallying up all he’d lost in the ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ

80 | santa clara review


ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ “Don’t mean to be unneighborly,” he said now with a ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ be a spell—” ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ǯ She moved in beside him, comfortable as ever, and gazed ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ £¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ĵ¢ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ Ȭ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ¢ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ Ĵ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę¡ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱȃ ǰȱ¢ ǵȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱwifeǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ǰȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȯ ¢ ȱ had money enough to turn any girl’s head—but he did blame her for being greedy, and for helping to see to it he lost the deed to the ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ĵ ȱ ǯȄ

robert mcguill | 81


ȱ ȃ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȄ Brenda glanced at the yellow vehicle, smiled from under ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ǰȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ǯȱ Tell me somethin I don’t know, he thought, remembering how he’d had his eyes opened to Gil’s moneymaking ȱ ę ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ he had a hole in his pocket, and the best parts of his life just kept ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ Ĵ ǯ They stood there a while, him and Brenda, neither saying a ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ wished, vaguely, that Gil would come along, ridiculous as that ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ inhospitable fence-­‐‑work didn’t give you a clear enough picture of who you were dealing with, all you had to do was take a good gander at the asinine “grave” Gil had erected near the main ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ

ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǻ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ¢Ǽȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

82 | santa clara review


ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ on the stones, coats smeared with dust and sheep shit, and though ȱę ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱexactly ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ǰȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ “Nothing wrong workin for a gamin operation—if that’s ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȄȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ shade of the log wall, she raised her hand to her hatbrim and said, ȃ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǵȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ

robert mcguill | 83


ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ǯȄ The feelings that had lain sleeping inside him for three ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ĝ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ę ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ worked in the casinos for twenty years socking away what cash he could to buy the place back, and he wasn’t in the mood to talk about ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ğ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ¡ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ She removed her hat and her hair tumbled to her shoulders, spilling ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ bench outside the door, then raised her face to the clouds and ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȃ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȄȱȱȱ ȱ

ȱ ǰȱę ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę¡ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǵȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ

84 | santa clara review


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ sunk much work or money into the place, and for that he was ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ǰȄȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǵȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ě Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȯ ¢ȱ Ğ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ himself hoodwinked out of what had been the jewel in his Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ “Never had but one dealin with the man,” he said, “and ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ Brenda approached him now, her boots raising groans from ȱĚ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ǰȱ ££ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȄ

robert mcguill | 85


ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱĚ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ¢ ¢ǯȱȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǵȄ “I mean he didn’t writeȱ ǯȄ “Then who did?” ȱ ȃ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ǯȱȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ “Everything that’s his is mineǯȄ Not quiteǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Not quite. Courts’ll set you straight on that real quick, darlin. Believe you me. ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ

86 | santa clara review


ȱ ȃ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǯȄ If it hadn’t cost him his job and two days travel to get here, he’d have tipped his hat, climbed back into his pickup and told her ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ cabin, reformed, and stuck with her, his one-­‐‑time wife, who was looking at him now with the same hungry eyes she’d brought to ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȄȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ on the property, and a chance to live out the rest of his days in ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ “I never had the guts to tell the old man I lost you and the cabin both,” he said, chinking in the gap of silence between them ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ confession, a long time in coming, snaked back and bit him in the ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ his mouth and coughed, trying to disguise the break in his voice, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ Brenda turned away and brought the straw hat to her ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ ȃ ¢ǵȄ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

robert mcguill | 87


Brenda looked up, taking a step forward, reaching for his ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ ȱę¡ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ

ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ££¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱĚ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĵ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ “Dan?” ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȄ ȱ

ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǵȱ ǵȄ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ȱ Ğȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ with his blood, he would have driven into town this very moment ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ have drug him up here by his short hairs, and banged his fat head ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ

88 | santa clara review


kevin brown |

Acnestis ǯȱȯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ders and the lower back, which cannot be reached to be scratched Driving alone, looking for my childhood home, I always seem to be one street ěǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Avenue or Baker Street, but every road looks familiar, like friends’ faces in dreams: you know who they are, ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ who wore her hair in pigtails, an ordinary last name—Smith or Johnson—but I am unable to hold it, moves along ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ you used to sing is mired in my mind, says “something something daydream in the something something clouds,” ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ěǰȱ Ğ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ to hear, though it rolled around ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Dz I even lick my lips now, wondering if it has somehow spilled out, but all ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ

kevin brown | 89


Peat Moss

Peter Miller, otherwise known by his musical persona, “Peat Moss”, started playing music in 8th grade when his two best friends told him he should learn to play the drums in order for ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ

ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ guitar in the most unconventional way possible and to this day Peter ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ formal training on either drums or guitar but learning them came ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǵȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯǯǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȅȱ ȱ ¢ ǯ

90 | santa clara review


Only Living Boy ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŝŖ ȱ ¢ ȱ -­‐‑ ited from their parents and the alternative rock of their own MTV adolescence, ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ¢Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ In 2008 the band -­‐‑ seemingly as a right of passage – found that not ev-­‐‑ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ache, disbelief and lawyer’s bills the band surged forward to reinvent itself as ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ Ğ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱȃ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȄȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ Ğȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ recorded its insightful and provocative self-­‐‑titled debut, which was released on ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘŖŖŞǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǻŘŖŖȱ Ȧ¢ Ǽȱ ȱ band has developed a ravenous, grass roots fan-­‐‑base that continues to grow with ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱȮȱ Ȧ Ȅǰȱ ȱ ȱȃ Ȅȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǰȱŘŖŗŗȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱȃ Ȅǯ The band will be releasing a 7” vinyl single in late march and embarking ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȃ ȱ -­‐‑ Ȅǯȱȃ ȱ Ȅȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ȧ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǻ ȱ ȱ Ǽǯ

music | 91


Revolution of the Mind

If revolution had a soundtrack, what would that sound be? A duo of devoted Ȧ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ through its music, vivid imagery and accounts of the turmoil that shapes politics and society ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ęȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ££ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ęȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŗşşŖ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ęȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ęȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ŘŖŖŖ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ £ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ ȱ ȃ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ¢Ȃ ȱ ǯȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȄȱ ȱ ¢ ǯȱȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ȱ Ě ȱ ȱǻ ęǼȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ¢ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ȭ ǰȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȮȱ ȱ ȱȮȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ǯȄȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱŘŖŖşȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱȃ ǯ ǯ ǯȱ ǻ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǼȄǰȱ ȱ ¡ȱ ȱ ¢Ȭ Ȃ ȱ ȃ ǯ ǯ ǯȱ ǻ ȱ ȱ ǼȄǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ song was featured on some of the hip-­‐‑hop blogosphere’s most prominent sites, as well as that ȱ Ȧ ȱ £ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȃ ȱ ȱ Ȅȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ £ ǰȱ ¢ȱǭȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ

92 | santa clara review


Young Prisms ȱ ȱ ȁ Ȃȱ ȱ ȁ ¢ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ǰȂȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱ ȱ ǰȱ Ĵȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ the old man, at twenty-­‐‑four, and all recently dropped out of various un-­‐‑ ¢ ȱ ȱ ǯ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ment above a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco’s Mission District and started pumping out dark, driving rhythms overlaid with melodies that ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ¢ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ·-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȃ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ěȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱȃ ȱ ȱ Ȅǯ The group’s lyrics, which you’ll have to do your best to deci-­‐‑ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ grim, passionate poetry part My Bloody Valentine, part Sonic Youth, part Charles Bukowski, part some kind of sparkly ecstasy that cannot be cat-­‐‑ £ ǯ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱȁ ȱ ȱ Ȃȱ ȱ ȱ

¢ȱ ŗŞ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ŘŖŖşȱǻ ȱ Ǽǰȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱŝȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǻ ȱ Ǽǰȱ ȱ ȱǻ ȱ ȱ Ǽǰȱ ȱ ȱǻ ȱ -­‐‑ ¡ȱ Ǽȱ ȱŘŖŗŖǯ

music | 93






Contributors’ Notes ainsley kelly is a junior English major and Religious Studies mi-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ £ ȱ ȱŘŖŗŖǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ alejandra germann ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ annamarie leon is a senior studio art and art history double major ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ tive nature of fear and insecurity and the physical manifestations ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ ariana rodriguez is a Bay Area native majoring in Studio Art at Santa Clara University, with concentrations in photography and ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱȃ Ě ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȄ armando portillo is a senior at Santa Clara University and will ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ beverly rayner has an MFA in photography from San Jose State ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ camille richter ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ


carol collins escaped her high-­‐‑tech management job for an under-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ǯ Ĵ ȱ £ȱis a lecturer in the Department of Communication ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ DZȱ ǯ Ĵ £ǯ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ȧ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ landscapes and skyscapes as subjects in her paintings but has re-­‐‑ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ coming up in May which will be a combination of skyscapes and ȱ ȱ ǯ chelsea henshey ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ę ȱ ǯ deborah gold is the pseudonym of a teacher, writer, and foster ǯ donna hunt is a 2010 Pushcart nominee, and her chapbook The Coastline of Antarctica is forthcoming this summer from Finishing ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ ǰȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ doug margeson ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǯȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱŗŞŚȱ ȱ ȱŘŞȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĝ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ę ǯȱ ȱ ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱȱ ħ ȱ Ĵȱ ȱ ȱ Ȭ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ hallie mcknight is a sophomore at Santa Clara University study-­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ shows around Northern California, including the California State ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ


jessica poli ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ĴȂ ȱ -­‐‑ ¢ȱ £ ǰȱ ǯ kevin brown ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ -­‐‑ necticut Review, South Carolina Review, Stickman Review, among ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ǰȱ ǯ lisa ampleman, a University of Cincinnati PhD student, is the au-­‐‑ thor of I’ve Been Collecting This to Tell You, winner of the 2010 ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ğǰȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ maddie sears is a traveler, an advocate for social justice, and lover ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ¢ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ple of India and South Africa, and all my wonderful friends and ¢ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ǯ marc foster ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱŗşŜŘǯȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŞŘŜȱ ǯ margot reilly is a sophomore in the Individual Studies program with a major in Socioeconomic Development and International ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ media class in which she created a collection made from organic ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ter ȱ ę £ , who teaches writing at the University of Mary-­‐‑ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ


mark melvin is pursuing a Studio Arts Major at Santa Clara Uni-­‐‑ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ marty saunders ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ melina alexa ramirez is a Studio Art Major and Religious Studies ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘŖŗŘǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ standards of beauty and worth with symbolism, historical and con-­‐‑ ¢ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǯ robert mcguill is a Pushcart Prize nominee and Glimmertrain Sto-­‐‑ ȱę ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ Ĝ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ taylor rulon-­‐‑miller is a double major in art history and studio art ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¡ ȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ǰȱ ¢ȱ ǻę ȱ ǭ Ǽǯ thanna rajapakse is a Biology/ Individual Studies Major, Class of ŘŖŗŗǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱǭȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱŘŖŗŗȱ ȱ ȱ -­‐‑ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Dzȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ǯ tom andesȂȱę ǰȱ ¢ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ řDZ ȱ £ ǯȱ ȱ ȱ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ Ĵ ǰȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ ǯ veronica garcia ȱ ȱ ȱ Ĵ ȱ ȱ ȱ ¢ȱ -­‐‑ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯȱȱ ȱ ȱ ȱę ȱ ȱ ȱ photographer who gains ongoing inspiration from her dreams and ¢ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ȱ ǯ