Vol 108.1

VO LU M E 10 8 / I S S U E 01

ISBN 2325-2782

05

9772325 278006

S A N TA CLARA REVIEW vol 108 / issue 01

volume 108 / issue 01

STEPHEN BARILE / DEANNA BARINGER / LAWRENCE WILLIAM BERGGOETZ / MICHAEL BOCCARDO / Z.Z. BOONE / NATALIE CHRISTENSEN / AYUNA COLLINS / LAINE DERR / REBECCA FALZANO / DAN FERGUSON / CAL FREEMAN / KIMBERLY GLANZMAN / ZEBULON HUSET / LAURA JONES / PAUL KENNEBECK / ZACHARY KLUCKMAN / ESTY LOVEING-DOWNES / THEA MATTHEWS / SHANE MCCLATCHEY / WILLIAM MILLER / JOSEPH POWELL / CHRISTINA QUINTANA (CQ) / K.A. RAMIL / FORREST RAPIER / REEM RASHASH-SHABAAN / TESS ROSENBERG / RICHARD SCHIFFMAN / GORDON SKALLEBERG / CATHERINE EATON SKINNER / SAMUEL SWAUGER / TERRA TREVOR / CRISTINA TROUFA / MICHAEL WATERSON

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

FA L L 2 0 2 0

Featuring Cristina Troufa & Z.Z. Boone

S A N TA CLARA REVIEW

volume 108 / issue 01

CRISTINA TROUFA / O DEDO ACRYLIC ON LINEN

SANTA

CLARA

REVIEW

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

S A N TA C L A R A R E V I E W EDITOR-IN-CHIEF EMMA KULI ASSOCIATE EDITOR TERESA CONTINO

PRODUCTION EDITOR ALICE LEE

POETRY EDITOR ANTHONY ALEGRETE

ART EDITOR VICTORIA RUSSO

NONFICTION EDITOR SHENIR DENNIS

FICTION EDITOR ISAAC YELDER

WEBMASTER KISH RAI MARKETING DIRECTOR EMMA LIGTENBERG

OWL EDITOR ALEXA ALFANO FACULTY ADVISOR MIAH JEFFRA

ASSISTANT EDITORS PRODUCTION

ELLIE STERN

ART

LYDIA FITZGERALD

POETRY

NONFICTION

FICTION

THE OWL

MOLLY WORFORD JADEN FONG ALYSE GREENBAUM MIYA DRISCOLL

SARAH JAMES KYLER JUAREZ ALEX LAW SHANNON LUND

ALINA PINCOMBE ASHLEY TANG LIZ REYNOSO GUTIERREZ NATE BARNES

SARAH SCHULIST FRIDA RIVERA

EDITORIAL BOARD MAEVE CORBETT MURPHY DAILEY GRACE GILMORE FIONA JOFFROY CARLY KELLNER

BRAD LEWINSKI VICKY PHAM ARIA TA ALEXA VEGA BISHOP WASHINGTON SOFIA WOOD

TABLE OF CONTENTS POETRY 31 32 33 38 46 47 50

51 53 55 72 73 LAINE DERR / FLESHED 77 78 80 82

85 90 91 95 99 101 102 103

FICTION 7 17 56

NONFICTION TERRA TREVOR /

43 / 66 84

/

ART CRISTINA TROUFA / LUZ 2 CRISTINA TROUFA / SO CLOSE 3 CRISTINA TROUFA / ASCENSÃO 4 CRISTINA TROUFA / O DEDO 5 34 / TREAD

35 36 37 40

/

/ 41 42 /

48 49

62 NATALIE CHRISTENSEN /

63

NATALIE CHRISTENSEN / 64

/ ISOLATION

NATALIE CHRISTENSEN / SLOW DRAIN IN WINTER 65 /

74 75

/

76 AYUNA COLLINS / 81 86

/

87 / 88 89 92 /

93 94

/

volume 108 / issue 01

DEAR READER,

I am honored to share Volume 108, Issue 1 of the Santa Clara Review with you.

Santa Clara Review

Review’s powerful literary platform to amplify

editor in chief

CRISTINA TROUFA featured artist

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

LUZ CRISTINA TROUFA acrylic on linen

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

SO CLOSE CRISTINA TROUFA acrylic on linen

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

ASCENSÃO CRISTINA TROUFA acrylic on linen

4|

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

O DEDO CRISTINA TROUFA acrylic on linen

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

featured author

Rose Cottages, Korea, and Buck Fever

Full Moon in Blue Water The Last Elephant

stories,

Good.

6|

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

fiction

CLIFF

out.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

undershirt. wagon train.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

Stillman’s Superette.

on either side.

lose him.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

oil.

what he was saying.

Staten Island Sentinel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

and a .38.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

tire rut as a reminder.

Practice Safe Sex, it said. Mark the Sheep that Kick.

radio.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

weapons.

I nodded.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

hat.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

fiction

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

Figured I deserved a toy, he wrote. Dinner at Applebee’s and guess who’s lifting the check? with dollar signs for eyes and drool dripping from its mouth.

You’re not going back to work? , Jessup answered. And neither are you.

The story was in the

no strings.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

to him.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

hang with Jessup.

Gilma, who hated dirty dishes, set out a paper plate, a single paper

the plate.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

said.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

glass.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

grinning.

from around him.

half-hanging out his window.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

draft, and Jessup was ordering the same when Starly stopped and stared

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z. at him.

his dresser.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

dire health.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Z.Z. stolen his wallet.

mold and mouse shit.

BRUCE EATS SHIT

pulled down and pissed on.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Z.Z.

from the outside, so there was no fresh air, no moonlight. He wished he’d

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

RICHARD poetry

of my own moon-mad mutant mind.

of whim and whimsies.

– of mystery –

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

K.A.

poetry

or mourning, depending on where you stand light of the streetlamp.

the sunrise in the shots.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

FORREST poetry

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

TESS photography

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

TREAD TESS photography

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

TESS photography

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

TESS photography

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

FORREST poetry

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

FORREST

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

DAN oil on canvas

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

DAN oil on panel

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

DION DAN oil on panel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

TERRA TREVOR nonfiction

FACE

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

TERRA TREVOR

Then, at age twenty-three, I suddenly found myself employed full-

resume.

44 |

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

TERRA TREVOR

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

CHRISTINA poetry

After Catherine Barnett I forget

It seems the do and the done are all tied up in one.

46 |

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

DEANNA poetry

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

GORDON oil on plywood

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

ISOLATION GORDON oil on plywood

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

DEANNA poetry

and see how! low! can! you! go! enough,

an egg that isn’t rotten.

do, do not, and

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

CAL

poetry

for Jon Gueli

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

CAL

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

STEPHEN poetry

May 15, 1950 He had it. Fats

Dizzy, through all ranges of his horn out of nowhere.

More straight-ahead trumpet,

speedy passages, Charlie Parker Quintet Birdland.

He had it, that night. with Bird and Fats together, with one-night

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

STEPHEN Bird to put him on the Monday-night gig,

good-natured and well-mannered, Dizzy on bebop-trumpet.

Welfare Island,

Andy Kirk, the paid for the funeral.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

,

MICHAEL WATERSON poetry

You are the tortilla, I said, of the whole enchilada, the arrow shot through love’s heart.

all the best feeling hollow eyes following me, wondering what in the world to do

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

PAUL

fiction

LAST RITES

He turned his head from her.

that something is whispered.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

PAUL

*

won’t

She did the laundry.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

PAUL

especially - a sound Really *

Jamie was her sister. rock it.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

I’ll be the one to have to deal with that Your

PAUL

ever

can’t

from them.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

PAUL

all

gift of feeling superior to them.

She nodded.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

PAUL need

*

waiting room with the two women for a length of time.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

DO NATALIE CHRISTENSEN photography

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

NATALIE CHRISTENSEN photography

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

NATALIE CHRISTENSEN photography

64 |

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

SLOW DRAIN IN WINTER NATALIE CHRISTENSEN photography

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

LAURA nonfiction

mind you.

-

66 |

SANTA CLARA REVIEW

LAURA

them to grow.

-

very -

-

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

LAURA

transforming lead into gold.

Imagine if I were to touch you with an ice cold washcloth.

You’ll that increases air into the upper lungs from the lower lungs. I’ve just taught you how to take a bigger, deeper breath. Now the brain and the body has experienced it and are able to repeat that on their own with ongoing therapy and support.

learned to add.

– a

to sleep

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Of course it doesn’t, she says. The lack of oxygen puts you

LAURA

needed in the godawful heat of Miami Shores.

semester set her straight.

The teacher split the class, Occupational Therapists on one side, physical therapists on the other. I kept asking questions and the teacher would tell me, you’re on the wrong side of the class. Being a smart-mouthed New Yorker, I said, I’m just sitting in a chair.

But she kept saying, the kind of questions you’re asking, they’re what an occupational therapist would ask. A physical therapist only cares about range of motion; they don’t care about how somebody uses what you’re helping them rehab.

That made no sense to me. I thought you should treat the whole person. Even the family. Well, that’s what an occupational therapist does.

lifted my daughter to an almost seated position. Her left hand supported

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

LAURA

sshhhhh through her This happens, she said. We’ll try again tomorrow.

soldiers fall. yes.

The next day I came in and one of the other therapists pulled me aside. She was crying. She said, I’m so sorry to tell you, but he died. I was in shock and disbelief.

I left the NICU. I didn’t see another patient that day. I started questioning why we do what we do.

– this

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

LAURA

swiftly –

Who me? I thought. She must be kidding.

They thanked me for never once judging their family. Many people gave up on this girl because of her diagnosis. We knew she was going to die, her mother said, but you never gave up. She said I saw her baby for who she was. worth. It’s really hard to lose someone, especially a baby, especially in the NICU. But if I can make you comfortable or teach you something – how to eat, how to then you’ve taught me more than I taught you.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

SAMUEL poetry

desperation.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

ZEBULON HUSET poetry

situation

door.

disintegrated.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

SHANE oil on panel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

SHANE oil on canvas

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

FIN SHANE oil on panel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

LAINE DERR poetry

FLESHED

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

ZACHARY poetry

The last.

••

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

ZACHARY

our history was for sale. our marriage a wet dog

•• How I threw your photos in the trash, dug them out.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

ZACHARY poetry

lips.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

AYUNA COLLINS oil on canvas

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

CHRISTINA poetry

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

CHRISTINA

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

LAWRENCE WILLIAM nonfiction

-

The Tao Te Ching -

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

KIMBERLY poetry

CARELESSNESS wild tunes trapped in my throat. the ghosts

with lidless, open eyes – drifting,

and drag me down to drown, to dream,

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

REEM mixed media

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

REEM mixed media

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

REEM mixed media

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

REEM mixed media

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

WILLIAM poetry

on the other side

where we played toy soldiers

that stand together and apart,

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

ESTY poetry

If there’s a funeral for God,

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

CATHERINE EATON encaustic, oil, monotype print on paper on panel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

CATHERINE EATON encaustic, oil stick on panel

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

CATHERINE EATON encaustic, oil, paper on panel

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

REBECCA FALZANO Carry It Gently - a poetry series

FOUND

First, the forgetting and then,

sound of mom spelling your name for disjointed letters that still hold the memory of shape, of mattering.

memories

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

REBECCA FALZANO Carry It Gently - a poetry series

I wait for your eyelids to surrender the Hail Mary, plaid uniforms, I get as far as My grandmother used to tell me her way of saying women get shit done.

you will rise again.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

REBECCA FALZANO Carry It Gently - a poetry series

during the day.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

REBECCA FALZANO Carry It Gently - a poetry series

This doesn’t mean we don’t wring them at the window, when the day starts slipping into the last

They are the last part of a person we hold onto, They’re language if we’re listening

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

JOSEPH poetry

the you,

and the woman the youthe you-

the you,

the you, the you,

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

JOSEPH

for me, yes, I said a prayer for all of you, hoping that God will listen.

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

THEA poetry

AMERICANA

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

KIMBERLY poetry

ASHES intention furrows into me,

and if it doesn’t – who am I

the same. salt is sand is stone map of a heron’s wing,

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

MICHAEL poetry

STEAL WHAT LITTLE YOU CAN

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

volume 108 / issue 01

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Stephen Barile

Metafore Magazine, New Plains Review, The Heartland Review, Rio Grande Review, The Packinghouse Review, Undercurrents, The Broad River Review, The San Joaquin Review, Haight-Ashbury Literary Journal, Beginnings, Pharos, and Flies, Cockroaches, and Poets.

Deanna Baringer appeared in Lily Poetry Review Lawrence William Berggoetz The Bitter Oleander, Sheepshead Review, Skidrow Penthouse, Stoneboat, Blue Heron Review, Evening Street Press Review, Apeiron Review, Poetry Quarterly, and elsewhere.

Michael Boccardo , and Best New Poets, as well as the anthologies Spaces Between Us: Poetry, Prose, and Art on HIV/AIDS and Southern Poetry Anthology, VII: North Carolina. He

Z.Z. Boone

Rose Cottages, Korea, and Buck Fever, Full Moon in Blue Water The Last Elephant

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

.

Natalie Christensen

Ayuna Collins

Laine Derr Rebecca Falzano

Dan Ferguson

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Cal Freeman

Fight Songs. His writing has appeared The Poetry Review, Southword, The Cortland Review, Southwest Review, and Poolside at the Dearborn Inn Kimberly Glanzman n South Dakota Review, Harpur Palate, Puerto del Sol, Barely South, perhappened, and Electric Lit Zebulon Huset Meridian, The Southern Review, Santa Clara Review, Fence, Rosebud, Atlanta Review, Texas Review, and Fjords Review Notebooking Daily and is the editor of the journal Coastal Shelf.

Laura Jones They Said .

Fourth Genre , and Wraparound South, to name a few.

Paul Kennebeck story in Harper’s Magazine entitled Baldessari’s Dead Sea Flights Carve Magazine, , and f(r)iction magazine.

Zachary Kluckman

Muscle Rearview Funhouse.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

Esty Loveing-Downes

Oddities, and

West Trestle Review, Shift: A Journal of Literary .

Thea Matthews author of Unearth [The Flowers]

The New Republic, Atlanta

Shane McClatchey

William Miller’s

LEE CIRCLE

Poetry Review, The Penn Review, Shenandoah, Prairie Schooner, and West Branch Joseph Powell . His poems vox poetica, WORDPEACE, Marble Hand, The Blue Mountain Review, and Papers Skin,

Christina Quintana (CQ) is the author of the full-length play Scissoring The Heart Wants

K.A. Ramil

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

Forrest Rapier Asheville Poetry Review, Best New Poets, Denver Quarterly Review, Texas Poetry Review, , and Greensboro Review editor for Greensboro Review

Reem Rashash-Shaaban Hill Magazine, The Twisted Vine, Milk Magazine, Drabblez, and the

Tess Rosenberg

October Sukoon, Goat’s

-

Alaska Quarterly, the New Ohio Review, the Christian Science Monitor, the , Writer’s , , Verse Daily What the Dust Doesn’t Know was Gordon Skalleberg Catherine Eaton Skinner

Marking Code series pursues a deep SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

I Ching

-

Samuel Swauger

Terra Trevor

Cristina Troufa

Michael Waterson California Quarterly, Cathexis Northwest, and

| SANTA CLARA REVIEW

.

SANTA CLARA REVIEW |

S A N TA C L A R A RE VIEW

T O D AY ONE YEAR SUBSCRIPTION TWO YEAR SUBSRIPTION INDIVIDUAL ISSUES AND BACKORDERS

1869