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poodle: will feds shut down diablo canyon? AUG. 28-SEPT. 4, 2014 VOL. 28 NO. 450

h a h a , v e ry f u nn y lol comedy festival Hits Downtown Also Inside

dogs! tequila! running! news! what is going on at the batting cages? Orchids at the museum of natural history and ZacH Gill Interviews Jack Johnson



august 28, 2014

More than 60 spectacular events to choose from!

Mar 10

oct 10

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Matt Groening

The Joffrey Ballet

& Lynda Barry

oct 2

Tony Bennett

Tedeschi Trucks BAND oct 30

oct 24


Earvin “Magic” Johnson

apr 17


Anne-Sophie Mutter

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feb 8

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Dinosaur Train Live!

nov 2

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august 28, 2014

The Santa Barbara Jazz Society Proudly Presents

Wesla Whitfield One of America’s premier Cabaret artists From the Algonquin in New York to the most fashionable clubs in San Francisco, Wesla has thrilled audiences with her vocal interpretations of the American Song Book. “Is she the best singer-jazz or whatever? No disagreement!” Village Voice

“She thrills me when I hear her.” Tony Bennett

Sunday, Sept. 7, 1-4pm SOhO • 1221 State Street Tickets are only available at the door.

Doors open at 12:30

Editor in Chief Marianne Partridge Executive Editor Nick Welsh; Senior Editors Michelle Drown, Matt Kettmann; Feature Writer Ethan Stewart; Photography Editor Paul Wellman News Editor Tyler Hayden; News Reporters Kelsey Brugger, Brandon Fastman, Lyz Hoffman; Columnist Barney Brantingham; State Political Columnist Jerry Roberts; Opinions Editor Jean Yamamura Executive Arts Editor Charles Donelan; Arts Editor Aly Comingore; Arts Writers Tom Jacobs, Joe Miller, D.J. Palladino, Elizabeth Schwyzer; Calendar Editor Terry Ortega; Calendar Assistant Ginny Chung Copy Chief Amy Smith; Copy Editors Jackson Friedman, Diane Mooshoolzadeh Art Director Ben Ciccati; Assistant Art Director Chelsea Lyon; Editorial Designer Caitlin Fitch; Web Consultant Robert LeBlanc; Web Producer/Social Media Michael S. Gahagan; Web Content Assistant Nya Burke Sports Editor John Zant; Outdoors Editor Ray Ford; Food Writer George Yatchisin; Contributors Jake Blair, Rob Brezsny, Cynthia Carbone Ward, Victor Cox, Roger Durling, Marilyn Gillard, Virginia Hayes, Rachel Hommel, Eric Hvolboll, Shannon Kelley, Bill Kienzel, Cat Neushel, Michael Redmon, Starshine Roshell, Tom Tomorrow, Silvia Uribe; Editorial Interns Kelsey Abkin, Molly Christison, Mitch Grimes, Lauren Haines, Blake Harper, Lawrence Moody, David Ridings, Savannah Stelzer; Founding Staff Emeriti Audrey Berman, George Delmerico, Richard Evans; Honorary Consigliere Gary J. Hill Copy Kids Henry Poett Campbell, John Poett Campbell, Chloë Bee Ciccati, Miles Joseph Cole, Asher Salek Fastman, Delaney Cimini Fruin, Madeline Rose Kettmann, Mason Carrington Kettmann, Izzy and Maeve McKinley, Miranda and Gabriel Ortega Office Manager/Legal Advertising Tanya Spears Guiliacci; Accounting Assistant Lisa Bolton; Distribution Scott Kaufman; Advertising Representatives Camille Cimini Fruin, Suzanne Cloutier, Remzi Gokmen, Mark Hermann, Laszlo Hodosy, Steve Nakutin, Tonea Songer Production Manager Megan Packard Hillegas; Associate Production Manager Marianne Kuga; Advertising Designers Rachel Gantz, Gabrielle Klassen Business Manager Brandi Rivera; Director of Advertising Sarah Sinclair Publisher Joseph L. Cole The Independent is available, free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Back issues cost $ and may be purchased at the office. The Independent may be distributed only by authorized circulation staff or authorized distributors. No person may, without the permission of publisher, take more than one copy of each Independent issue. Subscriptions are available, paid in advance, for $ per year. The contents of The Independent are copyrighted  by The Santa Barbara Independent, Inc. No part may be reproduced without permission from the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. A stamped, self-addressed envelope must accompany all submissions expected to be returned. The Independent is published every Thursday at  W. Figueroa St., Santa Barbara, CA . Advertising rates on request: () -. Classified ads: () -. The Independent is available on the Internet at Press run of The Independent is , copies. Audited certification of circulation is available on request. The Independent is a legal adjudicated newspaper — court decree no. .

Contact information: 122 W. Figueroa St., Santa Barbara, CA 93101 PHONE (805) 965-5205; FAX (805) 965-5518; CLASSIFIED (805) 965-5208 EMAIL, Staff email addresses can be found at


volume 28, number 450, Aug. 28 - Sept. 4, 2014

LIVING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Living Page . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Starshine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Sports . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Food & Drink . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

A&E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45


Arts Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Art . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

Ha Ha, Very Funny

LOL Comedy Festival Hits Downtown (Independent Staff) on the cover: Artwork by Ben Ciccati. above: Russell Peters.

NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

OPINIONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Angry Poodle Barbecue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Voices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 In Memoriam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

Letters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 This Modern World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Pop, Rock & Jazz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Positively State Street . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51



Arts & Entertainment Listings . . . . . . . . 52


FILM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Reviews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

Movie Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

ODDS & ENDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

CLASSIFIEDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

Evictions and other funny business down on Anacapa Street . . . . . Harley Hahn breaks down the GDP in great detail . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology . . . . . 59 The Restaurant Guy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62



Obituaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Dining Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60


THE WEEK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

When the ALS Golden West Chapter tapped The Indy for the ice bucket challenge, our “yes!” was tempered by our waterless state: douse ourselves with glitter, newspaper confetti, or Cristal instead? (Yeah, right, Jackson.) Buckets of icy water on civic lawns? The shore of East Beach! Brilliant. Seawater on ice soaked 20 Indyites — here demonstrated by Marianne Partridge, our editor in chief, with a helping hand from a gleeful Joe Cole, our publisher — with the money to benefit the Walk to Defeat ALS on October 5. Check out the challenge video (and a link to Salud Carbajal’s waterlogged reply to ours) at independent .com!





Chess wizard Agata Bykovtsev (above) takes on the world . . . . . . .


Dozens of press releases published daily . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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News of the Week

AUGUST 21-28, 2014




ALL ABOUT THE S: City College President Lori Gaskin (center), flanked by Measure S supporter Lanny Ebenstein (right) and Trustees Peter Haslund (far right) and Lisa Macker (left), rallied for a facilities bond headed to the November ballot.

The $288 Million Question Measure S Supporters Rally for City College Renovations



n a dry patch of what used to be grass across the street from Santa Barbara City College, education buffs and elected officials rallied support for a bond measure headed to the ballot this November. Amid the bustle of the first day of school, bond supporters hoisted red signs on Monday that read “Yes on S,” looking to attract voters this midterm election. College officials say they need $288 million to replace four buildings, including a $30 million campus center, a $45 million sports pavilion, and a $34 million classroom building. Half a dozen other structures, such as the marine diving technology and administration buildings, would also undergo facelifts. Their price tags range from $2.7 million to $33 million. The college’s two satellite campuses — the Wake and Schott centers, used for adult education — will undergo $40 million and $17 million construction, respectively. Perhaps it was appropriate that the dozen or so supporters stood on a strip of dirt because a $7.5 billion bipartisan water bond is headed for the state ballot, and the governor recently came out against a $9 billion school facilities bond, tossing the burden to renovate college facilities to local communities. In fact, the state hasn’t chipped in money to upgrade school buildings since 2006, and most community colleges have since turned to their districts for cash. The average bond amount is $240 million, said SBCC President Lori Gaskin. City College’s buildings are aged and “wellloved,” Gaskin said Monday, and hundreds of thousands of students will attend the school 10


over the coming decades. More than 17,000 credit students showed up to classes this week, which was similar to last fall’s enrollment. (Noncredit students are estimated at more than 3,000.) An assessment was completed before the school’s Board of Trustees approved the initiative in June, Gaskin said, and the college needs a new classroom building because it is required to remove its remaining 19 portables per a state mandate. A previous $77 million bond measure passed in 2008 was used to redo a number of projects, including the humanities, drama, and snack shop buildings, along with other deferred maintenance projects. Critics questioned the need and academic nature of $4 million in stadium renovations, but school officials said in 2010 that the space is heavily used by many people, not just athletes. (Private donors contributed $650,000 to the projects.) Notably, the area chapter of the Democratic Party, which has consistently supported similar school facilities bonds, has yet to endorse this year’s measure. Members discussed the matter at a recent meeting, but they delayed a vote so they could ask the trustees about the school’s overall impact on city housing, who would sit on the bond’s advisory committee, and what kind of projects would be on the docket. "We are not a rubber stamp," said chapter chair Daraka Larimore-Hall. In contrast to such bonds for K- districts, which serve virtually all kids in the area, this bond would benefit a number of students who hail from out of the district — from across the state and abroad — and has prompted a discussion about their impact on affordable housing in

august 28, 2014

Santa Barbara. Last year, more than 11,000 students attended the college from outside the district, which spans from Carpinteria to Gaviota, according to college staff. The number of credit students who’ve graduated from five nearby high schools has decreased from 57 percent in 2008 to 51 percent in 2012. When asked about the issue of housing, Gregg Hart, Santa Barbara city councilmember and bond supporter, jumped in and answered for Gaskin. He said affordable housing is an issue the entire community shares, and it is “not appropriate to focus on it” in this discussion. Currently, the city and the college are talking about the interlinked issues of parking, transit, circulation, and housing, Gaskin said.“There are so many moving parts to it,” she said, and added they are looking for a “holistic” approach.“We’re on it,” she said. Endorsing the bond, the Chamber of Commerce noted transportation and housing issues inflicted by the college and suggested that the state allow community colleges to have greater control over their admissions process, prioritizing local students. California law mandates that all 112 community colleges admit every in-state student who applies. The Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Association endorsed the measure in June. A “No on S” campaign recently formed to oppose the measure. Spearheading the effort is Ernie Salomon, who has been vocal in online forums, posing the question: Why should area homeowners pay for a college that attracts so many out-of-the-area students? Salomon will host a call-in show on his public access program in late September to discuss the matter. ■

news briefs LAW & DISORDER

An 82-year-old Santa Barbara man was killed shortly before midnight on 8/23 when he drove off the side of Highway 154 and crashed into a tree. According to the California Highway Patrol, Donald Newsam was driving his 1998 Honda eastbound near West Camino Cielo when he failed to navigate a curve in the road and veered 30 feet down a steep embankment. Santa Barbara authorities were notified of the incident that night but were unable to locate Newsam’s car until around noon the next day. The crash remains under investigation. One day after Attorney General Kamala Harris announced she’d take legal action to defend California’s much-debated death penalty law, Harris quietly tied the knot on 8/22 at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse with Douglas Emhoff, a Los Angeles attorney. While details on the nuptials remain sparse, Harris proved vocal about her decision to appeal a ruling by Judge Cormac J. Carney, who concluded last month that California’s death penalty has become so dysfunctional as to constitute cruel and unusual punishment. Because the ultimate punishment is so rarely implemented in California, Carney argued, death row inmates are seven times more likely to die from old age or suicide than from a lethal injection. This, he claimed, undermined any value that it might have in terms of deterrence or retribution. Harris described Carney’s reasoning as “flawed” and his conclusions “not supported by law.” A potentially contagious 24-year-old man diagnosed with a strain of drug-resistant tuberculosis is being sought by Santa Barbara County’s Public Health Department. Agustin Zeferino had been receiving treatment in North County, where an outbreak (three or more cases) of the drug-resistant strain has been occurring for a year, said Public Health’s Dr. Charity Thoman. Daily doses of medication were being administered at his home up until about two weeks ago, and a warrant has been issued for Zeferino’s arrest. Treatment of the communicable, airborne disease can take up to two years.

COUNTY Santa Barbara’s only real storm last winter destroyed 100 feet of the pier at Gaviota State Park on 3/1. The structure — beloved by both fishermen and boat owners who used its hoist to access the remote reefs and surf breaks of adjacent Hollister Ranch — has been closed ever since. State Parks’ study of repair options range from basic repairs, which would eliminate the missing 100 feet and the hoist and cost only a couple million, to a full concrete pier build-out for about $20 million. The repairs will likely include access improvements for people with disabilities, said park supervisor Rich Rozzelle. Venoco announced in a quarterly report that it plans to sell its West Montalvo oil field — an Oxnard facility acquired in 2007 that accounts for about 20 percent of the company’s production — for $200 million; the transaction is expected to conclude in October pending approval from the State Lands Commission. The energy company declined to comment on who purchased the field but stated the sale will enable Venoco to “pay down a significant



When canines arrive on a high school campus to sniff out drugs, a texting frenzy among students quickly spreads the news. These “drug dogs” have roamed Santa Barbara high schools once a month for the past two years. And the school board voted Tuesday in a 3-2 split for the hounds to return for a third. The dogs, which cost the district $13,500 annually, search parking lots and classrooms. Perhaps impacting the results, students can choose SNIFF-SNIFF: For the third year in a row, drug dogs to take their backpacks out of the will search high school campuses for narcotics. classroom during the searches, an effort to uphold privacy rights — and to likely avoid lawsuits. Last year, the dogs did not find any drugs. Drug offenses have mostly declined since they peaked during the 2009-2010 school year, when 258 students were caught, according to school staff. Last school year, 147 students were busted for using or selling drugs. The issue of drug dogs has for years split boardmembers who tend to vote unanimously on most issues. The general decline in drug offenses cannot necessarily be attributed to the dogs, argued Boardmember Monique Limón, who opposed renewing the contract. In fact, all types of infractions have decreased. And expulsion cases continue to be drug related, she added. Drug-sniffing dogs have increasingly shown up in public schools across the country, inviting a militant atmosphere on campuses, opponents contend. But the program is a preventative one, say supporters, who credit the zero hits and decreased offenses in part to the random searches by the drug-sniffing dogs. Also, the district spends more than $200,000 on drug prevention programs, Boardmember Ed — Kelsey Brugger Heron said.

amount of our revolving credit facility debt” and turn its attention to its offshore Sockeye field, also near Oxnard. According to government relations manager Steve Greig, Venoco aims to connect all of the field’s employees with jobs at the new company or at other Venoco sites. The sale comes after Venoco laid off 10 percent of its workforce in June and in the midst of its search for a new CEO.

Chevron ($1.2 million), Freeport-McMoRan LLC ($463,483), Orcutt Oil Field–operator Pacific Coast Energy Company ($27,473), and Breitburn ($24,423), which has ties to Pacific Coast Energy Company. The regional “No on P” campaign saw Venoco donate $80,000 this week, adding to the $78,500 already given by Pacific Coast Energy Company. The “Yes on P” campaign has raised $45,876.

Californians for Energy Independence — a political committee composed of oil-industry heavy hitters — has raised more than $1.8 million in its efforts to defeat drilling bans statewide, including Santa Barbara County’s Measure P, which would outlaw all new fracking, acidizing, and cyclic-steaming operations in the unincorporated areas if voters okay it in November. The committee has aimed approximately $365,000 against Measure P. Notable donors include

Plans to convert a vacant lot into a senior living facility in Goleta have crept along since they were first introduced to the Santa Barbara school board late last year. Colloquially referred to as Granny’s Field, and officially known as the Tatum property, the 23-acre site located near Hollister and Turnpike came one step closer to development after the school board recently approved collaborating with The Towbes Group. The proposal includes 260 cont’d page 12 

Big Bucks for Bike Projects

The California Transportation Commission awarded $8.6 million in grants to the City of Santa Barbara for four street-improvement projects designed to accommodate pedestrians and cyclists and otherwise “increase the safety for non-motorized users.” Three of the projects are slated for the lower Eastside to the tune of $7.2 million. To be replaced are the narrow, rickety bicycle and pedestrian footpaths on Cacique and Soledad streets, which will be switched out with new, well-lit 12-foot-wide bridges. The Cacique Street bridge was originally washed out more than 30 years ago, and the limited passage that’s existed since has emerged as a cause célèbre in the simmering battle to replace at-large elections with district elections throughout the city. City transportation planner Rob Dayton said residents living near the bridges opposed projects that accommodated cars, as well, because they didn’t want the additional traffic in their neighborhood. In addition, the funds would cover the costs of replacing the Montecito Street bridge. Dayton said the city’s grant application fared so well because most of the money was focused on underserved neighborhoods and that such issues had been the focus of considerable community planning efforts. Those efforts were sparked by the death of 15-year-old pedestrian Sergio Romero in 2011 as he tried to cross Milpas Street. In addition, $1.3 million has been set aside for a multipurpose bike path along Las Positas Road from Cliff Drive to Modoc Road. A condition of the grant requires the money be spent within — Nick Welsh two years of receipt.

Death Valley Mystery Solved

S.B.’s Jim Norris Solves the ‘Sailing Stones’




Drug-Dog Days Continue


n a landscape dominated by marvelous natural oddities, no location fascinates more visitors to Death Valley National Park than The Racetrack, a crackedearth playa where rocks big and small magically move from place to place, leaving distinctly smooth tracks across the otherwise uniform lake bed as their only evidence. For decades, if not centuries, the phenomenon mystified even the most HOW THE HECK? A sailing stone leaves a trail after it diligent researchers, becoming scooted along The Racetrack. a standard passage in geology textbooks, prompting more than one dozen sciIn late November 2013, a brief rain and snowentific inquiries, and provoking all manner of storm formed a three-inch-deep pool on the possible causes, from tricks by frat boys to the playa, which was still there when the Norris cousins arrived in late December. Surprised by handiwork of little green men. The mystery is no more, thanks to Santa Bar- the pool and unable to enter the playa due to the bara native Jim Norris, who — along with his “complete slop” of mud that sat on the surface, cousin, Richard Norris, and a team of mostly the cousins worked the northern part of the area S.B.-based volunteers — discovered through a and noticed that the pool seemed to be blowing mix of amateur investigation and lucky happen- uphill toward the playa’s mudflats as the winds stance exactly how these stones sail. In a paper increased. Soon, their rocks were actually movpublished this week in the scholarly journal ing for the first time. PLOS ONE, Norris and company reveal how last “We started documenting it hard, not really winter — amid a very rare convergence of freez- understanding exactly what it meant,” said Noring temperatures and a standing playa pool of ris, who determined what was happening over recent rain and snowmelt — they documented the next couple of days and subsequent trips, football-field-sized sheets of windowpane-thin thanks to more observations and camera footice being floated by wind across the slick, muddy age. “I think other people have probably been playa and pushing the rocks, some as far as 700 there when it happened, but they can’t tell,” said Norris. “It’s slow and so far away and at an feet. “We watched it happen,” said Norris, who oblique angle.” started monitoring Racetrack movements in The news throws a wrench into theories 2012 as part of a “recreational science” experi- related to magic, magnetism, or Area . “I’ve ment and was on-site for routine equipment even seen a wonderful photograph of a horned maintenance in late December when the event lizard pushing a stone,” said Norris, with a laugh. occurred. “The sheets of ice start ramming into “It’s pretty amazing what the public will come up the stones and bulldozing them along. It’s all with.” But most in the scientific community figultra-slow-motion.” The discovery, which has ured the phenomenon was somehow reliant on been sought scientifically since at least 1948, ice and wind, so the Norrises had also erected a when the first academic paper was published weather station as part of their project and were about the rocks, is quickly making waves in prepared to spend more than 10 years before the annals of popular science, with reports reaching any conclusions. But despite the techpublished this week in the Los Angeles Times, nology, had they not been on-site to witness the National Geographic, and Nature, among other sheet ice bulldozers, the Norrises might still be publications. scratching their heads, even with data in hand, Norris first visited The Racetrack in the 1960s especially since the movement occurred with with his father, the late Robert Norris, who was relatively light wind rather than the hurricane a professor of geology for many years at UCSB. force gales widely suspected. Norris admits feeling “a little wistful” at The younger Norris, a graduate of Vieja Valley, San Marcos High, and San Diego State, became having pulled the curtain off of Death Valmore intrigued in 2008, when he started scour- ley’s beloved mystery and knows there will be ing existing reports. He enlisted his cousin some public dismay. But he hopes it may shed Richard, a paleobiologist at UC San Diego, in light on processes elsewhere in the universe the completely self-financed hunt, and they set — important planetary scientists, for instance, about equipping research-ready rocks with GPS have researched The Racetrack before — and he tracking devices, which are one of the things believes knowing is more important than supthat Norris makes for his engineering company, posing. He explained, “It’s hard to be a scientist, Interwoof. The first rocks were laid in early 2012 and I’m just an amateur scientist, and not want with National Park Service blessing, and the to figure stuff out and not get joy out of going, team made trips there every six to eight weeks. ‘Wow, that’s how this works!’” ■ august 28, 2014



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and producing top-notch researchers, the magazine’s editors prioritized 277 colleges, giving higher rankings to public schools than to private ones. UCSB is up seven spots from last year, but it fell behind University of California campuses at San Diego, Riverside, Berkeley, and Los Angeles, which all landed in the top five. According to the magazine, UCSB has an 80 percent graduation rate, and 35 percent of students receive federal grants.

units on approximately 280,000 square feet space, including independent and assisted-living apartments. Common areas and joint-use space for the district will also be included, but those details will be hashed out in the future. The project is expected to take several years to complete.


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In his annual back-to-school talk, Santa Barbara Unified School District Superintendent David Cash announced a number of changes. Four new principals — (pictured from left) Veronica Binkley, Sierra Loughridge, Jacqueline Mora, and Colleen Million — have been hired, as have about 90 new teachers plus five psychologists and five counselors. The new school year will see further Common Core implementation in the form of new courses that have been created by a handful of “teachers on special assignment” over the past two years. This summer was the biggest for construction in the past several years, Cash said, with dozens of projects ranging from libraries to playground equipment.

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UCSB ranked 15th among national universities in an annual listing published 8/25 in the Washington Monthly. Based on a number of factors like graduating low-income students

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DEATHS John Sperling, the outspoken educator who made billions by starting the University of Phoenix, died this week at age 93 in Marin County. Son Peter Sperling has emerged as a quiet force in Santa Barbara business and community affairs, starting and bankrolling the San Roque School, founding CallWave, backing liberal politicians, and donating to land-preservation campaigns. He also helped his father run what became the profitable educational juggernaut in Arizona.

ENVIRONMENT A bill to ban offshore drilling of Tranquillon Ridge from state waters died Tuesday night in a 29-36 vote in the State Assembly. Proposed by State Sen. Hannah-Beth Jackson, the bill would have eliminated an exception in state law that allows new leases to be issued if federal operations are depleting reserves under state waters three miles off the coast. Tranquillon is the only formation where this drainage occurs. Sunset Exploration, in partnership with ExxonMobil, has been eager to drill in the region for a decade, though any new oil projects will likely take years to begin. Jackson said in a statement she was “disappointed” but will “remain committed to protecting this area.” ■

Dammed If You Do, Dammed If You Don’t

Montecito Water District executive Tom Mosby has been forced to seek refuge from the ongoing drought in grim humor. “If it rains this winter, we won’t have any water sales,” he observed. “If it doesn’t rain, we won’t have any water to sell.” In the meantime, Montecito’s notoriously profligate water customers dramatically reduced their usage this July, compared to the previous year, by 48 percent. Although final numbers are not in, it appears they’ve done the same for August. The target had been to cut back by 30 percent. There has been some resistance, however, and Mosby said three customers have been hit with fines of $25,000 for using more than their rationed allotment. The district has imposed $1.9 million in penalties since adopting its rationing program. In addition, many have gotten so far behind on their payments that they risk imminent cutoff. According to freelance reporter Melinda Burns, 50 customers face cutoff by the end of this week if payments aren’t made. That’s the most ever. Other customers with a history of water-consumption issues, like Oprah Winfrey, have reined back use to within their rationing allotments. But Winfrey, like many others with large acreage, has trucked in water to keep some plants alive. Mosby can only speculate where the trucked water comes from — private wells from Carpinteria or Goleta — commenting, “That’s something we absolutely don’t support.” The back roads of Carpinteria, in particular Cravens Lane, are packed with water trucks hauling HcO pumped from wells north of Foothill. Montecito is unique in the affluence of its ratepayers and the almost total lack of a groundwater basin into which to drill. As a result, sentiment is growing that the district pursue the development of a desalination plant. To that end, the district approved spending no more than $50,000 on a private consultant to get a road map of what’s possible where desalination is concerned. New plants are notoriously expensive and even more difficult to get permitted. Theoretically, it makes more sense for Montecito to hitch its wagon to Santa Barbara, but that poses bureaucratically dangerous risks of its own. Santa Barbara’s application to restart its desal plant is predicated upon the assumption that it would be used only as an emergency water supply. Mosby said the consultant should report back to the board sometime in October. In the meantime, he’s hoping state regulatory agencies realize it would be better for the South Coast to have one desal plant — not two — and respond with the appropriate flexibility. — Nick Welsh



Valley Fever


County Starts Negotiating with Chumash over Expansion Plans





ead horses, red herrings, and fruit metaphors peppered this week’s Board of Supervisors discussion on the Chumash resort expansion plans. First floated in March and elaborated on in July via a 556-page environmental study, the tribe’s idea to ease overcrowding at its existing hotel-casino involves the construction of a 12-story hotel tower, a five-story parking garage, and 75,000 square feet of additional gaming space. The plans have attracted the attention of not only four county departments but also State Attorney General Kamala Harris, a law firm representing the Santa Ynez Valley Airport Authority, and the Santa Ynez River Water Conservation District. On Tuesday, the supervisors made their thoughts known to county CEO Mona Miyasato, who is set to meet with tribal leadership on Thursday. Touched on most often were worries about the tower’s height and the BIG AND TALL: The rendering in the lower image shows what resort’s water needs in the 12-story hotel tower would look like from Highway 154. an ongoing drought. But Tribal Chair Vincent Armenta (top) states the resort expansion while concerned com- has nothing to do with Camp 4. menters — most of the supervisors and members of the public alike — think that a 12-story building would mesh with accounted for much of the discussion, several the area’s otherwise rural landscape. The Santa speakers said the issue really stemmed from a Ynez Valley Airport Authority said the tower divided vote to deny the tribe a government-to- would impede the use of one of its two rungovernment relationship with the county. That ways during bad weather and called on the vote, a year ago this week, preceded the super- tribe to “reconsider the location and height” of visors’ denial of the tribe’s request to annex the the 140-foot-tall building. 1,400-acre Camp  property. Soon after, the Chris Dahlstrom of the Santa Ynez River tribe took its bid to Congress, where the annex- Water Conservation District — which supation is now a piece of proposed legislation. plies the casino-hotel with 22,600 gallons of But rd District Supervisor Doreen Farr water per day — said the extra 35,700 gallons said the long-brewing Camp  issue and the the expanded resort would require would be a newly proposed expansion are “separate con- tough sell for his department, already dealing versations” and that she wants to focus on with the drought and chromium-6 issues. The the size and scope of the additions, which she tribe hasn’t applied yet, Dahlstrom said, but he said would worry her no matter the appli- cautioned that no new water services are being cant. “However, the concerns are exacerbated issued now. First District Supervisor Salud Carbajal, because this is a project on tribal land and does not go through the local land-use process,” Farr who voted with th District Supervisor Steve declared. “This is our opportunity to try to get Lavagnino in favor of open dialogue last year, all of those concerns expressed. I think that said the county could have been better off we are trying to negotiate here and have a real with a different approach. “Not to beat a dead horse any further,” he said, “[but] I still am a dialogue.” Save for the supervisors’ comments that firm believer that if we had a government-toMiyasato will bring to the negotiations this government dialogue, perhaps we could have week, a “second bite at the apple” for the board discussed this and other plans in advance.” Carwill only happen if discussions are “successful,” bajal said the refusal hasn’t resulted in “fruitful the county CEO said. According to County outcomes.” Counsel Mike Ghizzoni, the state will deterTribal leadership has said previously that its mine whether the tribe’s mitigation measures expansion plans are unrelated to its Camp  push, and Chair Vincent Armenta said as much are in “good faith.” In her letter, Attorney General Harris noted on Tuesday, using the phrase “scare tactic” to “deficiencies” with the Chumash proposal, describe such allegations. “This has nothing to questioning why the resort’s water usage wasn’t do with Camp ,” he said, adding,“If they want further studied and asking how the tribe could to give us Camp , we’ll certainly accept it.” ■





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Trashy Summer Reading


BY N I C K W E L S H or those who find the intricate politics of trash disposal endlessly fascinating, the new 2,200-page environmental report detailing plans by County Public Works to convert a bigger chunk of the waste stream into electricity and to also capture a much greater amount of recyclable materials will prove this summer’s page-turner of choice. In that vein, county waste managers have scheduled two back-to-back Planning Commission meetings next Thursday to unveil the latest iteration of their plan to add two fresh industrial enterprises at the Tajiguas Landfill. Driving the effort has been the need to secure additional waste disposal space beyond the 12 years’ worth Tajiguas has left on its state permit. The plan for what’s termed a Resource Recovery Plant would extend that by an additional 10 years by diverting 60 percent of material. On the table is a proposal to build a 60,000-square-foot, high-tech facility — with magnets and electric-eye-scanning technology to replace hand sorting and separation by assembly-line workers — capable of collecting 90,000 tons of sellable recyclables. The plan also calls for a facility where green waste, food scraps, and other organic materials are placed in sealed vacuum chambers and “cooked” via anaerobic digestion and fermentation. That process generates considerable heat


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HIGH-TECH DUMP: Santa Barbara’s landfill runs out of space in about 12 years, but with a $60 million makeover, that can be extended another decade.

and methane gas, which in turn would be captured and converted into electricity. The material left over — a mulch-like substance known as “digestate”— would either be given away to area ranchers as a form of ground cover or buried at the landfill. All this will cost about $60 million. Rather than fund this out-of-pocket, the county has gone into a partnership with John Dewey, a private developer from San Luis Obispo. While any estimate is premature, it’s believed the new facilities will translate into a monthly trash-bill increase of $4 a month. Coincidentally, county residents generate roughly 14 pounds of waste a day, four of which end up in the landfill. The environmental report concluded there are no Class I negative impacts associated with the proposal. Likewise, it found that all but one of the alternatives examined in the report had worse consequences. The biggest controversy surrounding the plan involves further industrializing the Gaviota Coast. Marc Chytilo, the attorney representing many Gaviota Coast preservationists, noted that in 1999, the county supervisors unanimously voted to find some other final resting place for the South Coast’s waste stream. Chytilo said he has yet to finish processing the lengthy report, but he remains convinced that the Gaviota Coast is the wrong location. ■

Jury Out on Jail Funding


BY LY Z H O F F M A N anta Barbara supervisors this week poked holes in a Grand Jury report that faulted the county’s savings scheme for the North County Jail’s $17.3 million annual operating costs. Released in June, the report didn’t envision a successful execution of the plan — which has seen growing tax revenues set aside incrementally since 2011 — or a strong likelihood that the board, now and in the future, would stick to it. Instead, the jury wrote, salary and budget freezes would likely join layoffs and tax hikes to make up the difference if the economy doesn’t yield the revenue needed for the plan to work. But where the Grand Jury said the plan depended on property-tax increases of no less than 3.5 percent yearly, county officials countered that the funding plan actually only needs one percent growth to work. Similarly, the county won’t have to funnel as much as 28 percent of that growth to its savings account (as the report hypothesized) but can manage with smaller allotments. The Grand Jury took particular issue with how the plan would function in conjunction with the extra property-

tax monies going toward County Fire, a move approved in 2012; coupling that slice of the pie with the jail’s would mean dwindling dollars for other departments, the jury warned. But county number crunchers say there will still be more than 70 percent of tax growth left over for other departments. Where the Grand Jury made a good point, county staff said, was in its finding that the Assessor’s office could benefit from more employees to handle its workload. Last year, said Clerk-Recorder-Assessor Joe Holland, his office didn’t finish all the work it needed to for the first time in 12 years. He cited staffing reductions and lack of time and resources to train new hires. Holland said three new appraisers and one new analyst would help. Supervisor Doreen Farr pointed to how the supervisors dealt with the recession as a litmus test for how the county will fare with its jailfunding plan. “We were really tested over the past five years, and we did what had to be done, and we kept county government going. That is our responsibility,” she said. “I know we’ll deal ■ with it successfully.”

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Reflections in a Dog’s Eye

ALL OUR FAULT: The first, last, and only time I spoke with Dr. Michael Peck, he scared the crap

out of me. Theoretically speaking, perhaps. At the time, Peck was teaching at a special university in Chattanooga, Tennessee, training upand-coming resident inspector for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC) how to do their jobs. Up until September 2012, Peck had, in fact, been the resident inspector for the NRC up at the Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant, located about an hour’s drive up the coast. Peck worked at Diablo a little under five years before declaring he wanted to be transferred. Given that the NRC is probably the world’s most singularly impenetrable bureaucracy, I was amazed how easily I got Peck on the line. His message was equally direct. “I’m not saying that Diablo Canyon is unsafe,” he told me. “But we can’t say that it’s safe, either.” In some instances, perhaps it’s exciting to occupy that nebulous no-man’s land between what’s known and what isn’t. But where nuclear power plants are concerned, ambiguity ain’t an option. This conversation took place a couple of years after the Fukushima nuclear disaster of March 2011. It also took place after the United States Geological Survey had discovered not just one but three new fault lines located only a few hundred yards off the coast from Diablo Canyon, now the last remaining nuclear power plant in California. Based on the seismic punch that these three faults are capable of delivering,

Peck warned his superiors he lacked confidence that Diablo Canyon was capable of safely shutting down — the essential safety requirement of any nuclear power plant — in the event of an earthquake. He raised these alarms in official communications and meetings more than 10 times. His superiors saw things otherwise and notified Peck as much. Peck was neither appeased not persuaded. In fact, he’s consistently upped the ante. In 2012, he issued what’s known in the NRC parlance as a letter of “non-concurrence,” a formal dissent — and warning — that would become part of Diablo Canyon’s official safety file. That’s a big deal. During Peck’s 25 years with the NRC, he’d done that only one other time. Peck’s superiors again begged to differ and did so in writing. That, too, is in the official file. I remember calling Lara Uselding, a gifted public information officer with the NRC, to ask her about Peck’s non-concurrence. I thought I had the proverbial smoking gun. She couldn’t have been more bored. “Oh, that?” she asked dismissively.“We resolved that issue a long time ago. That’s news?” Around coastal California, it turns out, geological forces unleashed a few million years ago still remain a subject of high anxiety and keen public interest. Just ask the people of Napa, who will be crying over spilled wine for many moons to come. Just one day after the Napa quake, the Associated Press (AP) broke the story that Peck had struck again. From his self-imposed exile in Chattanooga, Tennes-

see, Peck had filed what’s known as a Differing Professional Opinion (DPO) in 2013. This is another formal dissent on Diablo Canyon’s ability to absorb the newly discovered seismic threats, but this time longer, more robust, and more urgent. It also went further up the chain of command. In 42 turgidly excruciating pages, Peck quietly and blandly made the chilling case that the seismic safety claims made on behalf of Diablo Canyon simply do not compute. They are predicated upon overly optimistic assumptions and methodologies that deviate uniquely from NRC’s own safety protocol. Until they can be verified, Peck insisted, the plant needed to be shut down. These documents were leaked to the AP. This time around, NRC spokesperson Uselding did not say “Oh, that?” Instead, she allowed that such robust internal debate in part of the NRC’s process, but otherwise explained she wouldn’t be commenting. Blair Jones, Pacific Gas and Electric Company’s spokesperson for Diablo Canyon, issued a statement explaining how Diablo Canyon was unique among all American nuclear power plants in that it was built to withstand not one but three seismic shaking scenarios. The plant is engineered, he explained, to withstand the g-force generated by a 7.5 earthquake originating at the Hosgri fault, located just 2.5 miles off the coast from Diablo Canyon. Since all of the recently discovered “new” faults pack considerably less seismic punch than the Hosgri, he explained, Diablo Canyon is covered. That logic, Peck has insisted, is as method-

ologically suspect as it is scientifically faulty. And this Tuesday, Friends of the Earth jumped into the act with both feet, using Peck’s documents as the legal crowbar to demand the Atomic Safety and Licensing Board — an independent and quasi-judicial arm of the NRC — to hold public hearings to determine whether Diablo Canyon is operating beyond the scope of the seismic safety requirements imposed by its license. It’s entirely not coincidental, by the way, that Friends of the Earth formed in the first place 45 years ago, when the Sierra Club opted not to oppose what would become Diablo Canyon. Peck’s dissent basically asks the following question: Would you rather get hit in the head by a 90-mile-an-hour fastball thrown from 100 feet away or a 60-mile-an-hour softball thrown from 50 feet? When applied to Diablo Canyon, Peck and Friends of the Earth argue that the damage inflicted by the slower pitch clearly exceeds Diablo Canyon’s ability to withstand ground acceleration and shaking. If and when such a quake happens, the cooling pipes needed to safely shut down the plant will not be able to absorb the stress. When earthquakes happen at places like Napa, we can all lament the loss of so much fine wine. No evacuations, however, are necessary. Should a similar quake strike in any of the “new” faults near Diablo Canyon, we don’t know for sure what will happen, but evacuation, we know for sure, will be impossible. Thanks to Peck and now Friends of the Earth, ignorance is now anything but bliss. In any place other than a highly theoretical world, that should scare the — Nick Welsh crap out of all of us.

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A Reply to Frank Hotchkiss



n his Voice on August 14, Frank Hotchkiss invited responses to

the issues he raised regarding bicycles and cars [“Bikes and Cars,”]. My answer is that I think about biking in Santa Barbara every day when I leave my house. First of all, I am interested to know where Hotchkiss got his data that only 3.5 percent of Santa Barbarians ever ride bikes. On page 260 of the book City Cycling by John Pucher and Ralph Buehler, I can see that in Santa Barbara, California, more than 4 percent of commuters regularly got to work by bike in 2009, a number that has grown since then. Of course getting to work is important, but counting only regular work commuters leaves out all of the folks who bike occasionally, on the weekends, with their kids, to train for triathlons, and while they do errands, which makes the percentage even higher.

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Even if we are a minority of commuters, certainly our safety is important. I notice that at the end of his opinion, the councilmember reminds us that bicyclists must follow the law, just like car drivers. Of course I agree with that, but where is the same admonishment to car drivers? I can’t tell you the number of times a car has passed me at an illegal proximity, refused to share the road when obliged to do so, or made an illegal maneuver that threatened my life. The fact is, everyone needs to follow the Rules of the Road, a fact that I wish Hotchkiss would use his political power to remind all who use the road. Laws are for everyone, not just cyclists. He also states that cyclists will never ride to Trader Joe’s, CVS, or Ralphs to pick up things. Really? If it wasn’t me doing all three of those trips this week (and every week), then who was it? It sure felt like me. I can only conclude he just made that up. I have not owned a car for 16 years, and if I didn’t ride a bike to stores, then I’d have to carry all my shopping on my back, taking much longer and aggravating my hernias. No thanks. If, as Hotchkiss says in his opinion, he never ever rides a bike, then I think he is probably not qualified to speculate about us cyclists. At Ralphs, Trader Joe’s, CVS, and all the other places I visit in a typical week, my bicycle is far from the only one parked outside. I would be happy to shop at Trader Joe’s with Hotchkiss sometime so he can see for himself the facts about cyclists. Even if all the facts were reported correctly, I’m sure that the majority of trips in Santa Barbara are not made by bicycle. So why should Frank Hotchkiss still care about someone who uses different transportation than he does? Here’s my story: I really enjoy riding my bicycle, and I happen to hate driving. Nine years ago, I was looking to relocate, and I chose Santa Barbara in large part because it is a wonderful place to get around by bike, on foot, or by bus. I volunteer at many nonprofits and wholly participate in Santa Barbara culture — a culture that includes those who like to use bikes. While raised not to boast, I think I serve this community well, and I would like my concern returned. If every car driver always followed the Rules of the Road and were never distracted, then perhaps extra bikes lanes wouldn’t be needed to protect me. But all too often I feel that the extra visibility of a separate lane has saved my life. Certainly, the councilmember can appreciate my position.

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To submit obituaries for publication, please call () - or email

Norman Edward Savage // – //

Norman Edward Savage passed away peacefully at Serenity House on August , . Born July ,  at Cottage Hospital, Norm was a lifelong resident of SB. He was a graduate of UCSB and served as a Lt. in the US Army. His career was Chief Electrical Designer at Archer Spencer Engineering, and he was proud of his work on many buildings around town.   Norm was happiest with his feet up on a cruise ship balcony with a cocktail in his hand. He enjoyed travel, cared for animals, and appreciated good food.   Survived by wife, Barbara, son Mark (Debi), daughter Debbie, grandchildren Michelle, Chris, Denise, John, Heather, Brandon,  great grandchildren, and his furry best friend Maxx. Celebration of Life at a later date. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Visiting Nurse and Hospice SB. Please visit www. to leave an online memory or condolence. Arrangements by Welch-Ryce-Haider Funeral Chapels.

Jasmine D. Murphy

// – //

Jasmine D. Murphy, March , -August , , beloved daughter, niece, cousin and friend to many, has been called home to be with the Lord. She died peacefully Saturday, August , . Jasmine was born on March , , in Santa Barbara, California, to Crystle Murphy and Derek Moore. She lived in Santa Barbara all of her life. She

attended and graduated from Santa Barbara High School. Jasmine worked at Willbridge of Santa Barbara for several years until she became ill. Jasmine leaves to mourn and cherish her mother, Crystle Murphy of Santa Barbara, CA, her brother Elijah Orosco of Santa Barbara, CA, his three children Jasmine’s nieces and nephew, Aleah, Kealani, and Malakai, her grandmother Bessie Murphy, Santa Barbara, CA, her Uncles Kim Tyrone, Stephen Glen, Robby Garnell, Donnie Lee; her Aunts Toni and Vella, her step fathers Wayne Oroscoand Derrick Thompson and her fiancé Raymond Toland, all in California, and numerous cousins and extended relatives and friends. Friday, August , . Viewing at am. Services at am. Greater Hope Baptist Church,  E. Figueroa, Santa Barbara, CA ; Pastor Ficklen, Officiating.

lies. She is survived by the family of her late step-daughter, Betty Duhachek. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Center for Successful Aging, A memorial service will take place at noon on Saturday, September th, at Mulligans Café,  McCaw Ave, Santa Barbara. RSVP (required) to Arrangements entrusted to Welch-Ryce-Haider Funeral Chapels.

Anna Jacqueline Rhodes // – //

including Nordstrom and Diani Boutique, where she had many clients who were happy to have her guide them in their retail therapy. She loved fashion and with her warm and caring nature, her clients became friends.  She loved her friends and family.  She loved to laugh and dance.  She loved all animals, especially her cats Hunter and Bentley. Everywhere she was, was brightened by her beautiful energy.  She was incandescent and we all wanted to be in her light. Anna is sorrowfully survived by her family, Janet and Tom, Matt and Kelly, Alycia and Preston, Joy, and our dear Andrey. A Celebration of Anna’s Life was held Saturday August  in the Rose Garden of the Santa Barbara Mission at pm.

Charles Gordon Campbell  – 

Mona Skeen  - 

Mona Etury Skeen was born and raised in Santa Barbara. The daughter of Spanish Basque immigrants from Pamplona, Spain, she grew up on El Capitan ranch. She met her husband of  years, William D. Skeen, the former Assistant Chief of the Santa Barbara Fire Department. while playing golf, a hobby they enjoyed all their lives. The Skeen family shared a love of nature. Mammoth Lakes, Lake Crowley and Twin Lakes were favorite destinations for fishing and camping. The other summer pastime was water skiing on lakes Nacimiento and San Antonio. Mona is survived by her son William F. Skeen and spouse Ricardo Pelaez, her niece Cynthia McMahon and husband Tim, her nephew Howard Marion and his wife Cyndi and their daughter Kati Rouleau and her husband Scott and their daughter Maycee Rae Rouleau. She is also survived by nieces Christine Tidd, Sarah Tidd, and their families, the family of her late nephew, William Tidd, and cousins Betty Skeen, Gary Skeen, Dennis Morelock, Kathy Newton, and their fami-

Anna passed suddenly but peacefully Sunday morning August  in Andrey’s arms with her parents by her side. She is missed by everyone who knew her. Anna was born in Santa Barbara on February ,.  She attended Monroe Elementary, La Cumbre Middle School and San Marcos High.  She was a Wilhelmina model during high school.  Anna graduated from SB City College and worked in retail fashion as a Personal Stylist,

Santa Barbara -- Charles Gordon (Gordy) Campbell, , Died Friday, July ,  in his hometown of Santa Barbara with his family at his bedside.

Gordon, known to his friends as Gordy, was a life-long resident of Santa Barbara. He attended Garfield Elementary, La Cumbre Jr. High School and Santa Barbara High School. During WWII, he enlisted in the US Navy where he learned to be an electrician and served on the USS Davidson. After the War, he returned to Santa Barbara and joined the Merchant Marine serving in South America. When he returned to Santa Barbara, he met his wife Elene at a Dodger Spring Training game. In those years, Dodger spring training was held in Santa Barbara. Gordon and Elene were married two years later and celebrated their th anniversary May , . Gordon worked as a union electrician for  years and was active in the local IBEW  union. He loved baseball and played with the Santa Barbara senior group. He played tennis and occasionally Friday poker with his buddies. He also enjoyed trips to Great Britain and Europe. Gordon is survived by his wife, Elene P. Campbell (from Pasadena), his two children Karen and Gregory, his brother Phillip Lee and many members of their extended families. He was preceded in death by his daughter Kimberly, his sister Phyllis McGinty and his loyal dog, Corky. A private military funeral service and burial were held at the Santa Barbara Cemetery on July , . Memorial donations, in honor of Mr. Campbell’s life may be made to Sarah House, PO Box , Santa Barbara, CA .

Death Notices Evelyn Lyons, of Santa Barbara, passed away on August th, . Arrangements entrusted to McDermott-Crockett and Associates Mortuary, () - Ada E. Pool, , of Santa Barbara, passed away August , . Arrangements entrusted to McDermott-Crockett and Associates Mortuary, () - Phyllis Foulstone, , of Ventura, formerly of San Luis Obispo, passed away August , . Arrangements entrusted to McDermottCrockett and Associates Mortuary () - Susan E. Just, , of Atascadero, passed away August , . Arrangements entrusted to McDermott-Crockett and Associates Mortuary, () - Jerome Green, , of Santa Barbara, passed away August , .

Arrangements entrusted to McDermott-Crockett and Associates Mortuary, () - John A. Erickson, , of Santa Barbara, passed away August , . Arrangements entrusted to McDermott-Crockett and Associates Mortuary, () - Mona Skeen passed away on August st in Santa Barbara; information on memorial services is pending. Robert Schneider Woodward, , passed away in Santa Barbara on August th, . Service information is pending. John J. Lynk passed away in Goleta on August th, , at age . Graveside service on Wednesday, August th, at noon at Santa Barbara Cemetery.

Norman Edward Albert Savage was born on July th,  and passed away in Carpinteria on August nd, . Private services will be held. James Franklin Shook, Jr., , passed away in Carpinteria on August th, . Memorial Service - Saturday, September , Noon at Oaks Bible Church,  N. La Cumbre Road. Josefina Martin, , passed away in Santa Barbara on August th, . A Rosary will be held at Welch-Ryce-Haider downtown on Friday at : pm, with a funeral mass at Mt. Carmel on Saturday at : am.  Todd Edward Sessler, , of Goleta passed away on August th, . Services are pending and being organized by Welch-Ryce-Haider Funeral Chapels.

>> Send Your Best Regards now allows comments on our Obituaries. Go to and share your thoughts and wishes if you would like.



august 28, 2014

In Memoriam

Joan Crowder 1934-2014

Journalist, Environmentalist, Arts Enthusiast



ong before she made a name for herself

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life she wanted to live, simple and more fitas a cultural writer for the Santa Bar- ting with her modest retirement budget, and bara News-Press, Joan Crowder was a full of people who loved the outdoors, tennis, volunteer editor of the Santa Barbara and volunteerism. She quickly made many fast Survival Times, a fledgling monthly magazine of friends, became a dedicated volunteer at the the newly formed Community Environmental Piedras Blancas Elephant Seal Rookery in San Council. The council had formed in the after- Simeon just north of Cambria, and resumed math of the 1969 Santa Barbara oil spill, and as writing, covering theater productions in CamJoan put it, the Survival Times was the voice for bria, San Luis Obispo, and Santa Maria for sevthe council’s distinct brand of environmental- eral papers. About four years ago, I needed an editor for ism. Some of its material was prophetic. In the early ’70s, its writers predicted that the Goleta a book project, so I called Joan. She graciously Valley would one day agreed, and for the be filled with houses, past four years, we and it happened. had collaborated, until she dropped They explored the off my manuidea of making the script with her Channel Islands a final edits about a national park, and month ago. One it happened. Some warned that the land Sunday morning north of El Capitan in June, I opened would be developed, my email and was but it wasn’t. “We stunned to find didn’t have computthis message from ers,” Joan told me. Joan’s daughter“It was all typing, in-law: “RIP Joan hand drawing, cutCrowder, 1934ting, and pasting. 2014. Paul, I supEverything was pose you have done from scratch, heard the tragic news … ” and then it had to All I could be put together for printing.” think of was how Joan had an early beautiful Joan’s love affair with newslife had become. papers that began She told me what with her first sight of a thrill it was that NEWSPAPERWOMAN: Longtime Santa a printing press, one she had a grandBarbara journalist Joan Crowder championed of those massive and son late in her life the urban environment, both cultural and loud machines that — something she ambient. people seldom see or didn’t expect. His hear today. She took to writing while in high arrival seemed to knit her already close family school, where she was editor of the Sequoia even more tightly together. She was plugging Times at Sequoia High School in Redwood City. along at 80, writing, driving her beat-up Toyota Her writing skills and excellent grades won her up and down the coastline to cover plays. Plus, acceptance to Stanford, where she majored in she had recently rekindled a romance with journalism and met her husband, John, who a boyfriend of long ago. He was with her in was a medical student. Hawai‘i, where they had just arrived for a vacaHis career took them first to Minneapolis, tion. He was on the beach while adventuresome where he interned while Joan took a position Joan took to the waters. He was watching her with the Miami Herald. It was in Florida that when she ceased swimming. her sons Craig and Scott were born. After a This diminutive woman, not much taller short stint in New York, they made their way to than five feet, mother of three, writer, friend, a home in Montecito, where in 1967, their third perennial volunteer, beloved by all her friends and most all her family, was no more. I couldn’t son, Andy, was born. Following her divorce from John in 1975, help in that moment to see Joan in her totality, Joan set about building a new life, including a lion of a soul, a force of nature, a keeper of establishing her career as a journalist. Her work those rarest of flames in life, joy, adventure, and on the Survival Times had caught the atten- curiosity. tion of the News-Press editors, and she worked I shall always hold in my mind an image of for the daily, covering cultural affairs, plays, her, so alive in those warm Pacific waters, her and movies, and she wrote features on Santa mate close to shore, buoyed by the rich life she Barbara writers until her retirement from the had built through her generosity, her caring nature, her relaxed and easy intelligence, and paper in the mid-1990s. In early 2000, Joan moved to Cambria, a her innate sense of fun. It’s as if her sun never town below Big Sur that she had visited and set, the waters still glowed in the twilight, and loved. She found Cambria a perfect fit for the she continued her swim. ■

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P Protests


easure P’s proponents are lumping fracking in with steam and acidizing, based completely on an effort to strike fear in a public that does not know the difference. Fracking is not suitable in Santa Barbara County due to the thickness and density of the shale oil formation. Approximately 400 onshore wells use brackish saltwater from ancient deposits thousands of feet below the freshwater tables for steam injection. It is heated to steam, injected into a well to thin the oil, then reused or returned to the same zone it was removed from or another approved site. This is carefully regulated and inspected by California’s Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources, which enforces the most stringent and restrictive regulations in the country. Currently, acid is used in wells to keep the lines open. It is used in water wells as well as oil wells to remove calcium and other deposits that clog the pipes and restrict the flow. Anyone with a swimming pool also uses acid as do all water districts. The oil industry pays $12.7 million to local schools, $4.4 million to the county general fund, $2.6 million to County Fire, and more. The average number of jobs related to the oil industry (extraction, pipeline, refining) is 1,330, paying an average annual wage of $113,600. Total payrolls are $151 million. Annual property taxes: $20.3 million. Annual royalty payments to the state from S.B. County leases: $25 million. It all

increases with future wells or stops completely if Measure P is passed. Measure P would stop oil production in the present and future and cause a great loss of jobs and revenue due mainly to the misinformation and fear tactics of a few misdirected, selfappointed “guardians.”

— Roderick and Margaret Careaga, Paso Robles; Che Wilkerson, S.B.



easure P bans specific, risky oil-extraction techniques — fracking, acidizing, and steam injection — in Santa Barbara County used in new projects. I volunteered on this important initiative because I grew up in Lompoc, where test wells may be drilled through the aquifer by Freeport-McMoRan, which has a terrible environmental record. I am raising my family in Carpinteria, a beautiful beach town that needs to be preserved and protected, not fracked and acidized. Over 400 communities across the United States have already banned fracking because of the extreme risks, including Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, and Santa Cruz. Vintners in France helped ban fracking in that entire country. What I don’t look forward to is the oil industry–funded flood of TV ads, radio ads, mailers, and robocalls. Their false propaganda will say that fracking is regulated, that these techniques are completely safe, that they don’t really use water, that it’s not happening, that we’re wackos trying to ban all oil, that it will cost thousands of jobs, cause total economic ruin, destroy schools, and deprive the entire nation of energy.

As you can imagine, I beg to differ. Outside oil companies are already pouring money into our county and will try every trick in the book to convince voters that Measure P is unnecessary. Measure P is our only chance to safeguard this beautiful and bountiful place. If it fails, a new oil boom is coming, and it won’t be pretty. — Rebecca Claassen, Carpinteria

Skateboarding Is Not a Crime!


find it absurd that the city and police department are outlawing skateboarding in the downtown area. Maybe outlawing is the wrong word. They are enforcing a very old law that was put in place to prevent skaters from ripping up planters, curbs, and endangering pedestrians on the sidewalk, which seems to make sense. But if caught rolling down the street, transporting yourself to work, beach, school, or just cruising down State Street, you face a $155 ticket. According to the Vehicle Code, skateboarders are not allowed on streets; they are considered pedestrians. Let’s be realistic; it sounds like the city is raising revenue by targeting those who are skating peacefully down the street. When will the community accept skateboarding as a fun, healthy, environmentally clean way of transportation? I say, as long as laws are obeyed, let skateboarders use the bike lane in the downtown corridor. Skateboarding is not a crime. — Sonny Boyden, S.B.

Desal Go Solar


f the resuscitation of the Santa Barbara desalination plant had been based on minimal financial expenditure and maximal temporal efficiency, using the original fossil-fuel powering system would have made sense. But since the project has become so exorbitant anyway, it would be well worth the extra time, money, and effort to make the plant run entirely on solar power. If its location doesn’t afford space for adequate solar arrays, the roofs and open spaces (solar carports in parking lots) of other nearby city buildings could be claimed for this purpose, or even a deal struck with commercial enterprises — like MarBorg with its giant recyclingfacility roof. If the solar power were sold into the SoCal Edison grid, 24-hour operation would work and nighttime power bought back for less. By going solar, there would be no increase in carbon pollution in Santa Barbara, no fuel costs, reduced maintenance costs, and, as a gem of forward-thinking innovation (within the U.S. at least), it would be a shining example for other desal projects that will inevitably have to be developed in Southern California and beyond — the closest being right in neighboring Montecito. Well-deserved green feathers in the caps of city officials and planners would be a further incentive in the general approval process, and who knows, maybe additional state or federal funding could be procured for such an ecologically innovative project. It’s not too late to consider this — where there’s a will, there’s a way! — Peter Lackner, S.B.


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Walls and Bridges


ission Historical Park is one of the most significant locations of historical structures in Santa Barbara County. Some of the ruins date back to 1806, before the current mission was built in 1820. It is crucial that this historical site is maintained and respected. A proposal is underway for a new, modern, freestanding pedestrian bridge to be built on the west side of the existing stone bridge over Mission Creek that was constructed in the 19th century. In addition, existing historical stone walls in the vicinity would be moved and significantly altered. Mission Canyon Road would be moved 10-15 feet to the east, at a combined project cost of millions of dollars. The idea of radically changing some of the most historical and significant features in our area is as dismaying as it is horrifying. Santa Barbara is world famous for its architecture and historical preservation, as well as natural beauty. It is incomprehensible that the new bridge project could even be considered. Local elected officials should strongly oppose this destructive Mission Canyon project. It is imperative to preserve this important part of our area’s history and Mission Creek. — Maggie Gressierer, S.B.

Militant Police


he militarization of police and sheriffs’ departments across the land, as the Angry Poodle barbecued last week in “I Bark, Therefore I Yam” [ poodle], is turning them into an unconstitutional standing army. If you couple those armaments with the mega campaign to disarm Americans and the 1.5 billion rounds of hollow-point ammunition being hoarded by Homeland Security, it seems less and less that it’s the public that’s being protected. The latest proposal is especially telling. HR  is a bill going through Congress that would ban the purchase of body armor. Violation would carry criminal penalties, including up to 10 years in prison. Many defensive, bullet-resistant items on the market now, such as bulletproof backpacks for schoolchildren,

would be banned. Whatever your stance on firearms, I hope we can agree that it’s pretty difficult to hurt another human being with body armor. People buy body armor for protection. So why do they want to ban it? The government claims that “criminals and rampaging madmen” can “wreak havoc” while wearing body armor and that it’s important to shield police from these nefarious individuals. You mean the same police who terrorize ordinary citizens who aren’t breaking any laws? The same police who scream “I will f***ing kill you!” with their weapons trained on protesters exercising their constitutional rights? It is well past time for all involved with law enforcement to do some serious soul-searching and ask themselves, do you really want your children and grandchildren to grow up in a world you are helping create? — Larry Bond, S.B.

Act on Iran


s negotiations over Iran’s nuclear program continue, I hope my senators and my representative will seize this opportunity to publicly speak out in support of diplomacy. New sanctions or other saber-rattling measures could undermine the progress our diplomats have made toward a multiyear agreement that guards against a nuclear-armed Iran and the risk of another war over this — Nancy Murdock, S.B. issue.

For the Record

¶ Our Living article “Looking for Great Goleta Teens” last week should have said it is the Rotary Club of Goleta Noontime that is seeking high school seniors to honor for their community service. See The Independent welcomes letters of less than  words that include a daytime phone number for verification. Letters may be edited for length and clarity. Send to: Letters, The Independent,  W. Figueroa St., Santa Barbara, CA ; or fax: -; or email: Unabridged versions and more letters appear at

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Santa Barbara’s

FIRST COMEDY FESTIVAL I f comedy is indeed penicillin for the soul, then Santa Barbara’s collective psyche should be completely infection-free after next week, when more than 30 comics converge on various downtown stages to deliver seven nights of funny spread over 13 distinct performances. From the well-known Jay Mohr, Andrew Dice Clay, and Russell Peters of the international scene to emergent laugh MAN WITH PLAN: Scott Montoya (seen above with comedian Bill Bellamy) hopes that his LOL Comedy Festival provokers such as the will become an annual event in Santa Barbara. music-making SuperNaked and Monique the mid-2000s until San Bernardino boosters requested Marvez and Nadine Rajabi’s Hot Funny Femmes, there he return. “I didn’t realize the effect that these television won’t be much excuse for frowning this Thursday and shows would have on the city,” said Montoya, who recalled September 2-7. And if all goes well, the Laugh Out Loud (LOL) Comedy Festival could become yet another annual the officials claimed the publicity had done “phenomenal things” for the town’s tourism and image. affair for our event-loving town. From 2009 to 2012, San Bernardino was home to the LOL is the brainchild of Scott Montoya, whose acciLOL Comedy Fest, but Montoya realized that he couldn’t dental career in producing comedy shows started when keep using the same theater without the footage looking the former graphic designer air-brushed a poster for stale.“In this business, you’ve got to keep doing something the San Francisco ers in the 1980s. That launched his that’s continually new and innovative,” said Montoya, who own design business, where he became a link between almost settled on moving the fest to both San Antonio, two different types of clients: people promoting events Texas, and Richmond, Virginia, but figured transportation and corporations that could sponsor them. When he got across the country would be too expensive. That’s when caught in the cross fire of a masquerade ball that was Stephenie Hope, who works for the Santa Barbara Interabout to be cancelled, Montoya jumped in and threw the national Film Festival’s PR maven Carol Marshall and event himself. It was a great success.“I didn’t even really whose kids go to the same school as Montoya’s, suggested know what producing was,” recalled Montoya,“but that’s he come check out the film fest’s venues.“I was blown what I wanted to do.” away,” said Montoya of his visit to town earlier this year. Among other successes, he helped start the San Jose He started “calling in favors” from his friends in the Summer Fest, which celebrated its 25th anniversary this industry — including Andrew Dice Clay and Russell year, and put on a Paul Rodriguez performance at the Peters, who, according to Montoya, is the number one city’s Civic Auditorium. Rodriguez then hired Montoya, touring comedian on the planet right now — and began so he “packed up the Chevy and moved to Beverly.” His planning a schedule that was truly a festival rather than biggest comedy break was creating what would become just a format for shooting TV specials.“This time, I want the Original Latin Kings of Comedy, which he claimed to come out with a successful comedy festival,” said is the number one grossing stand-up show of all time, Montoya. “If we get a few specials, that’s good, too, but one though he didn’t see much of the money.“I learned TV is not driving the other.” There will, however, be plenty and film the hard way,” said Montoya.“It did well for of film crews running around town over the next week, Paramount. That’s all I’ll say.” shooting the performances and behind-the-scenes stuff, He struck up a friendship with comedian Alex Reymundo (see page 43 for a story about that comic’s tequila), much of which will be streamed straight to Hulu, which has created a special channel for the event. and they both put up their home mortgages to pay for a Montoya is quick to admit that this fest is, like much couple of comedy shows in, among other places, San Berof his career, quite a gamble for him financially, but he’s a nardino, where Montoya hatched a plan to film multiple smart bettor. “If I can come out of here without losing my performances in one spot and then edit them into sepashirt,” said Montoya,“I’ll be back next year for sure.” rate programs. Showtime bought them all, so Montoya eventually put on similar events in Los Angeles theaters in — Matt Kettmann


Big-Name Comics Converge on Downtown Theaters for Seven Nights of Shows




Schedule is subject to change.

~ Next-Up Stand-Up LOL Preview, featuring Eric Schwartz a k a Smooth-E, Nadine Rajabi, Kimmie Dee, Nate Craig, Jesus Trejo, Claude Shires, Justin Martindale, and Steve Trevino. Wine: pm; comedy: pm. Carr Winery,  N. Salsipuedes St. $-$. Call -.


~ Rip Taylor: Q&A and screening of documentary Rip Rip Hooray. pm. Arlington Theatre,  State St. $-$. Call -. See interview on page .


~ Christopher Titus hosts Next-Up Stand-Up, featuring up-and-comers Monty Franklin, Dylan Mandlsohn, Darren Carter, Eric Blake, Josh Waldron, and Jarrod Harris. pm. ~ SuperNaked, featuring Eric Schwartz a k a Smooth-E and Brett Riley. pm. See interview on page . Both shows at Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. $-$. Call -.


~ Russell Peters. pm. Granada Theatre,  State St. $-$. Call -. See interview on page . ~ Hot Funny Femmes, featuring Amy Anderson, Grace Fraga, Jen Murphy, Rachel Bradley, Jill Michele Melean, Nadine Rajabi, and Monique Marvez. : and :pm. New Victoria Theatre,  W. Victoria St. $-$. Call -.


~ Jay Mohr. pm. $-$. See interview on page . ~ Brad Williams. pm. $-$. Both shows at Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. Call -.


~ Kirk Fox. pm. ~ Ben Gleib. pm. ~ Andrew Dice Clay presents the Blue Show, featuring Eleanor Kerrigan, Jason Rouse, Michael Wheels Parise, and Colin Kane. pm. All three shows at Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. $-$. Call -.


~ Jim Jefferies. pm. Arlington Theatre,  State St. $-$. Call -. See interview on page . august 28, 2014






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JIM JEFFERIES L ife before comedy … didn’t exist. Jim Jefferies was just “a kid dicking around” both in Australia and then in England. He explained, over the phone, that there wasn’t a lot of opportunity as a comic in Australia. “You work really hard, and the best you get is an early-morning radio show.” At 17, he became an atheist, which is usually the heaviest part of his act. After six years of building his confidence to return to comedy, he was back at comedy clubs and open-mike nights at the age of 23. And he loves it. The best part? Not having to dress up. “I still don’t wear a suit to work, and I only own one pair of black shoes,” he said,“which I bought recently. I remember having to buy shoes when going to people’s weddings or court.” When he’s not at clubs or theaters, he’s at home keeping up with his artistic endeavors. “I have to write at least a minute of stand-up a week, which is a lot. Well a minute of good, not a minute of shit.” Another big part of Jefferies’s life is his almost-2-year-old son, whom he hopes will be super funny. He already sees a sense of humor in him.“I don’t know if it’s good or bad sense of humor, but he definitely has the passion,” he said.“He’ll fart and then laugh …. That’s like the funniest thing someone can do!” He also hopes that his son will be a lot of things he is not.“His mental health is probably already stronger than mine” and, due to



august 28, 2014

his own lack of athletic skills, Jefferies hopes that his son will be able to catch a ball. (He claims to be so bad at sports that he can remember every point that he’s ever scored in his life.) You may assume all comedians are best friends. However, Jefferies disputes that: “There are not many comedians I like to work with.” Sure, the comedy community is friendly, but not one comedian is worried about what another comedian is up to.“We all think we’re the most talented. No one is writing a better stand-up routine than me. But obviously, I’m not. My television show was cancelled after a few episodes.” What he really wants the audience to take away from the show is a good time. “I don’t think I’m gonna change the minds of any people, but I do think I can maybe at times put into words what they’re thinking.” And what is Jefferies thinking? Onstage, he’s sometimes thinking: “I wonder what would happen if I just started screaming and rolling around.” When you’re the most important thing in the room in front of a mass of people, you’re bound to want to do crazy things.

— Ginny Chung Jim Jefferies, Sunday, September 7, at 7 p.m. Arlington Theatre, 1317 State St. $32-$42. Call the box office at 963-4408 or see lolcomedyfestival .com.


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RUSSELL PETERS W ith his unique mixture of lightning-quick wit and first-rate observational skills, Russell Peters has become one of the most successful comedians in the world — he’s sold out venues such as London’s 16,000-seat O arena and set records in Australia and Singapore for the largest audience attendance at a stand-up comedy show. Now he will be performing at the Granada Theatre on September 4 as a part of the Laugh Out Loud Comedy Festival. The Santa Barbara Independent was given the opportunity to interview Peters. Here’s what he had to say. What first got you interested in doing comedy as a career? Did it come to you as a gradual realization? It wasn’t really [gradual]. From the moment I got onstage, I immediately loved doing comedy. There really wasn’t any sort of ulterior motive. I just loved it. Do you remember your first time onstage? Oh god, I was horrible. [Laughs.] I was given a five-minute set for an open-mike night, and I ended up doing about two minutes before I ran out of material. Luckily, I got a few giggles, and that was enough to give me the bug. That’s one thing you have to remember about comedy: No matter how famous you are, you are never above bombing. Who are some of the top comedians working today? To say one comedian or another is

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the best just doesn’t feel fair. It’s an exciting time to be in comedy because so many people are able to be funny in so many different ways. What is it that draws you to comedy? Other than that I have to pay the bills? [Laughs.] I never feel like I’m working. Every day is fun, and every day I want to get better. So your comedy can be pretty controversial … Who me? I think you got the wrong guy. [Laughs.] Is that something you do intentionally, or does it just come effortlessly for you? I’m the youngest child, which always made me very mischievous. I liked seeing what I could get away with, and that naturally finds its way into my comedy.

Going from city to city, are you constantly tweaking your act and trying new jokes out? Always. Your act is never finished. From beginning to end, you’re going to be seeing a different show from one city to another. The comedy muscle is like any other muscle. If you’re not exercising it, then it’s going to get lazy. You have to keep working. — Blake Harper Russell Peters, Thursday, September 4, at 8 p.m., Granada Theatre, 1317 State St. $48-$75. Call the box office at 899-2222 or see lolcomedyfestival .com.


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ee Miles never meant to start a band, but the song clichés he heard while working as a studio musician wouldn’t let him rest. All these love songs and pop singles, and not one of them ever seemed to be telling the truth. It was enough to


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t’s 11 a.m., and the call goes through to Rip Taylor, a k a the King of Confetti, in his West Los Angeles home.“May I speak to Rip Taylor?” I ask, used to assistants and other intermediaries answering star’s phones.“You better,” said the voice now piping up to shtick level. “Getting me up so early in the morning I haven’t even got my shoes on or even picked out my toupee.” This is more like it: disrespect from the man who debuted on The Ed Sullivan Show and as the result of a gaffe, became “The Crying Comic” in the late 1950s. We know him better as the arch-flamboyant, bad-

joke-telling, dumb-prop-wielding camp comic who heckled a dead man in the film Amazon Women on the Moon, among countless other wacky performances. Surely, I reply, a man of your accomplishment must get up early mornings to work on new material.“I’m talking to a nobody here,” says Taylor, mock offended.“I’m wondering just where this conversation will go next?” Before I could mock apologize, Taylor was off again.“Wait. Something serious I want to tell you. You know there are 12 comedy clubs in this town, and every one of them has a sign up right now for


Miles recalled the moment this way: “It was like we all looked at each other, and everybody was thinking the same thing —‘Do we have to be a band? Do we have to have a name?’” To understand SuperNaked, you have to get intimate with their magic formula, which involves taking a mainstream song genre like the power ballad or the reggae-lite single and turning it inside out with a dose of the truth — the SuperNaked truth. Their first YouTube hit, “Terrible Person,” catalogs the deficits of a particularly annoying ex at length and in detail. Miles calls it “a love song gone wrong, complete with a video starring actor Drake Bell.” Since then, they’ve poured their hearts out into anthems like “I Wish,” the full title of which is “I Wish (I Never Saw You Naked),” and “If I Can’t Have You,” the chorus of which completes that thought with “I’m gonna find a stripper tonight.” A SuperNaked song gets you coming and going; one minute you’re laughing at the outrageousness of the joke lines, and the next, you’re crooning along to the part in “I Wish” where Miles keeps repeating “staring right into the sun” as though you were down front at a Bon Jovi show — only funnier. With many gigs at the WitZend in Venice Beach and at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club under their collective belt, SuperNaked has a lot more than a name — the group also has a brand-new EP called Sicksongs released August 22. To celebrate, SuperNaked will kick off the late-night portion of this week’s LOL festival on Wednesday. Their hilarious and hard-rocking set ought to leave all the pumpedup comedy kids laughing and waving their lighters and cell phones overhead ironically. — Charles Donelan SuperNaked, Wednesday, September 3, at 10 p.m. Lobero Theatre, 33 E. Canon Perdido St. $22-$29. Call the box office at 963-0761 or see


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Robin Williams, one of them just screamed in big letters, R.I.P. And I thought, my God, I got top billing. You know I’ve died onstage before but never like that. Can I get a cab out of here? This isn’t going anywhere,” he said. A little dumbfounded, I wonder which of the comedy clubs in town he likes playing best.“I never play them, never did. I tell you, the crowds are just heckling; it’s terrible.” “Then where do you play? What kind of audience do you like?” “Cleveland!” he said, loud and campy.“Now leave me alone; it’s too early for this.” “On the whole you would rather be in Cleveland.” “Oh, so now you’re doing the jokes. This is terrible.” “How about this documentary they are filming about you?” (His appearance at the LOL Festival will be a filmed Q&A session meant to be included in the doc.) “It’s about where I come from, what I do, my problems, but it’s not a pity party. Some people approached me, and they’ve been following me around. I don’t want to tell you everything, or people won’t come to the performance.” “Perhaps we can get one or two previews. Real questions. Like how much confetti you go through in one year.” “You know,” he said seriously.“I’m not sure about that. But I can tell you I employ three nuns who work all day making it for me. I’d stop and ask them, but I don’t want them to get out of the habit. I hope you’re taping this.” After my groaning stopped, Taylor returned to a serious topic.“You know, I really am sad about Robin Williams. We were friends. We did work together. But I think this depression thing is I just don’t think it’s true that every comedian is sad when you close the door. I knew a lot of the big names, and you know some of them were just mean old men.” “But not you.” “No. I’m doing what I want to do and getting paid for it,” he said, then hand covering the receiver.“Hey, Sister, keep working.”

— D.J. Palladino Rip Taylor, Tuesday, September 2, at 8 p.m. Arlington Theatre, 1317 State St. $18$25. Call the box office at 963-4408 or see


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hile perhaps most known for his roles in blockbuster films such as Jerry Maguire, Picture Perfect, and Suicide Kings, Jay Mohr is first and foremost a stand-up comedian, a craft he’s been perfecting since he was 16 years old. Recently named one of the 100 greatest stand-ups of all time by Comedy Central, Mohr does about 200 comedy shows a year, one of which will take place in Santa Barbara this Friday as part of the LOL Comedy Festival. I recently chatted with Mohr via phone while he was driving his kid home from preschool. They have a routine: Mohr does his sports talk radio show from 9 a.m. to noon and then picks up his boy and heads home, where the two of them take a nap. During our conversation, his little one occasionally piped in from the backseat, sweetly oblivious that his father was being interviewed. Easygoing and personable, Mohr is an excellent multitasker: He piloted his vehicle, attended to his son, and graciously spoke to me about his comedy routine process, his quick-witted wife (actress Nikki Cox), and how thrilled he is to film his second Showtime special.

I’m so excited that you are coming to Santa Barbara. Me, too. I can’t wait. I get to film another Showtime special. I’m so excited about it … The name of this special is Happy. And a Lot. They do report cards every day at [my son’s] preschool, so when you pick your kid up, they hand you a little report card. And its got the kid’s name, it shows their activities, and then … [Pause for exchange with his boy: I see it. Look at that school bus, high five. Oh, boy.] … on the report card it says “mood,” and the teacher always writes “happy.” And then it says lunch, and they write “a lot.”

Do you use note cards onstage? I have bullet points in my head; I know what I want to talk about. … If I write a new bit, or in my case, my wife writes a new bit, I can’t wait to get onstage and try it. Usually it’s just one word. How did you get involved in the S.B. LOL Comedy Festival? I’ve been trying to get a second Showtime stand-up special, and it fell on the same date as the LOL Comedy Festival. I know [festival organizer] Scott [Montoya], but I don’t know if it’s a direct result of that or my manager bothering them for me to be able to film a Showtime special. I want to be like George Carlin and do one every other year.

That sounds ambitious. Well, my wife writes half of my material, so my workload has decreased incredibly over the years as far as stand-up goes, because she is certainly the funny one in the relationship.

Does she really write half of your material, or is that a joke? No, she definitely does. She’s an insomniac, and I’ll wake up and have a notebook filled with stuff. She knows how I think, and she’s wickedly smart, so the things that she writes are roads I never would have driven down. You have done so much more than just standup comedy. You are very versatile. It’s weird to speak about your own versatility because you could really start sounding like a creep. My versatility is a direct result of my desire to not leave money on the table. If someone is going to give me money to write a book, I’m going to start typing, and if there’s a chance to audition for a dramatic role, I’m going to do my best to get that role. So the diversity is a direct result of just wanting to outwork everybody. I hope S.B. LOL becomes an annual event. Anybody who reads this, it’s important … [To his son: Okay, wait one second, sweetie.] … that after this comedy festival leaves town … [Just wait one second.… Thank you, buddy.] … please don’t forget to support live stand-up comedy …. It’s the only time you can go into a room and ensure happiness. I’ll let you get back to your family duties. Thank you. Have a good nap. Happy. And a lot. — Michelle Drown Jay Mohr, Friday, September 5, at 8 p.m. Lobero Theatre, 33 E. Canon Perdido St. $22-$44. Call 966-4946 or see

Health Education+ Classes SEPTEMBER 2014

geT your SeaSonaL fLu ShoT aT a SanSum CLiniC See our schedule of upcoming Adult and Pediatric Flu Shot Clinics being held at Sansum Clinic locations throughout Santa Barbara County. Learn more at DIABETES EDUCATION

Diabetes Basics Santa Barbara ($15) Wed 9/10 & 9/17 5:15–6:45 pm Lompoc ($15) Thu 9/11 & 9/18 8:00–9:30 am This is a 2-part program. Diabetes Basics in Spanish Santa Barbara ($15) Tue 9/9 & 9/16 5:00–6:45 pm

Santa Barbara (Free) Wed 9/3 • 5:15–6:45 pm Solvang (Free) Mon 9/22 • 5:15–6:45 pm WOMENHEART SUPPORT GROUP

Santa Barbara (Free) Mon 9/8 • 4:30–6:00 pm FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT GROUP

Santa Barbara (Free) Mon 9/8 • Noon–1:30 pm

Pre-Diabetes Santa Barbara ($10) Wed 9/24 • 5:15–6:45pm Lompoc ($10) Thu 9/11• 8:00–9:30am Diabetes Blood Sugar Control Santa Barbara ($10) Wed 9/24 • 5:15–6:45pm BARIATRIC SURGERY ORIENTATION


Santa Barbara (Free) Mon 9/8 • 6:00–7:30 pm Lompoc (Free) Mon 9/17 • 6:00–7:30 pm


Santa Barbara (Free) New Location! 4151 Foothill Rd Fri 9/5 • 11:30 am–12:30 pm HIP/KNEE REPLACEMENT


Santa Barbara (Free) Thu 9/18 • 4:30–6:00 pm


Managing Ongoing Health Conditions

Santa Barbara (Free) Mental Wellness Center, 617 Garden St, 2nd Floor Tuesdays (6-part program) 9/9–10/14 4:00 pm–6:30 pm BACK WELLNESS

Santa Barbara ($10) New Location! 4151 Foothill Rd Tue 9/23 • 5:30–7:30 pm NECK & POSTURE WELLNESS

Santa Barbara ($10) Tue 9/16 • 5:30–7:30 pm ADVANCE DIRECTIVES WORKSHOP

Santa Barbara (Free) Mon 9/8 • 10:00-Noon


Lompoc (Free) Lompoc Community Center, 1120 W Ocean Ave Mon 9/29 • 10:00–Noon

CANCER CENTER ONCOLOGY PATIENT SUPPORT PROGRAMS • Supportive care programs are an important part of cancer treatment. • Programs include support, nutrition, yoga and more. • Resource Library provides answers to your questions about cancer. • Open to all cancer patients in the community and their family members and caregivers. For more information visit or call (805) 898-2204

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For a complete schedule and detailed descriptions of all our Heath Education Programs and Events or to register online visit Or call for registration, locations and more information.

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As always, find the complete listings online at And if you have an event coming up, submit it at

/: Next-Up Stand-Up Show   Start your Laugh out Loud Comedy Festival fun with a hilarious night of great performances including special guest Steve Treviño and hosted by Eric Schwartz (a k a Smooth-E) and Nadine Rajabi. Wine club members get in free. -:pm. Carr Winery,  N. Salsipuedes St. $-$. Ages +. Call - or visit carr Read more on p. . /-/, /: The San Patricios  This strikingly contemporary play with music, packed with the explosive power of true history, opens the past to reveal patriots, traitors, heroes, and tyrants of the war inside the war between Mexico and the United States. This conflict that shaped the future of both nations set the

/: The Milky Way  This must-see documentary by, for, and about women is about breastfeeding in the U.S. and delves into the successful ad campaigns of formula companies, the obsession with the sexual breast to the detriment of the nursing breast, and how hospital practices heavily impact the start of the breastfeeding relationship. There will be a panel discussion after the movie. Babies in arms or on laps get in free. pm. Farrand Hall, S.B. Museum of Natural History,  Puesta del Sol. $-$. Visit baby /: : Summer Film Series at Casa Dolores: Around the World in  Days  A bet pits a British inventor (David Niven) and his valet (Cantinflas, in his Golden

stage for America’s Civil War and still resonates today. The show runs through September . pm. Solvang Festival Theater,  nd St., Solvang. $-$. Ages +. Call - or visit /: Marshall Crenshaw and the Bottle Rockets  Power pop legend Marshall Crenshaw will team up with roots rockers The Bottle Rockets for a can’tmiss concert. Get excited for ’s radio classics as well as critically acclaimed current material. “I can’t stand to see you sad; I can’t bear to hear you cry,” so come out and watch these legends. pm. Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. $.-$.. Call - or visit /: Melissa Hart  Sparkling with vivid imagery and wit and set in a raptor rehabilitation center where wounded owls, eagles, and other iconic birds take refuge and become ambassadors for their species, Wild Within is an affecting memoir in which caring for birds triggers a deep longing to have kids. pm. Chaucer’s Books,  State St. Free. Call - or visit /: Ron White  Comedian Ron White (pictured) is best known as the cigar-smoking, scotch-drinking funnyman. But with Grammy nominations, a Gold Record, and three toprated specials in Comedy Central history, White has established himself as a star. Enjoy the good-ole-boy-style humor live in concert.  and :pm. Chumash Casino Resort,  E. Hwy , Santa Ynez. $-$. Call () - or visit





/: Healthy Brain, Healthy Memory  Psychologist Linda Sasser will explore how memory works and typical age-related memory changes. Learn methods of optimizing the brain functions of attention, working memory, and long-term memory. Space is limited, so registration is required. am. The Samarkand,  Treasure Dr. Free. Call () - or visit

Globe–winning role) against a Chinese thief and a French artist on a worldwide adventure. Based on the Jules Verne novel, this five-time Oscar winner is a fun and beautiful movie. :pm. Casa Dolores,  Bath St. Suggested donation: $. Call - or visit



S.B. Dons

/: High School Football: Oxnard at Santa Barbara  The Dons’ season-opener against longtime rival Oxnard is a careeropener for J.T. Stone, who was named Santa Barbara’s interim head coach five weeks ago. Stone, a former record-breaking quarterback at Dos Pueblos High School and S.B. City College, has a protégé in Brent Peus, the , -pound junior quarterback of the Dons. Santa Barbara’s line faces a challenge against the Yellow Jackets’ defensive front, anchored by -pound senior tackle Edwin Vargas. Two other local prep teams will open the season at home Friday night: San Marcos (against West Ranch of Valencia) and Dos Pueblos (against Pacifica of Oxnard). pm. Peabody Stadium, S.B. High School,  E. Anapamu St. Free-$. Call -.

FRIDAY 8/29 /: Yoga with a Rope  RussaYog uses the basic yogic approach and adds a rope (russa) that is held in each hand, allowing you to use gravity to create stresses and experience a complete body workout. Beginners are welcome. Classes are every Friday. -am. RussaYog,  State St., Ste. L. $-$. Ages +. Call - or visit

SATURDAY 8/30 /-/: Summer Tribal Trunk Show  There will be breathtaking imports like baskets and rugs for sale from places around the world

like Mexico, Africa, Pakistan, and Haiti. Regular admission applies to Museum guests. am - pm. S.B. Museum of Natural History,  Puesta del Sol. Free. Call - or visit /: Scenic Vintage Railcar Daytrips  Take a trip to San Luis Obispo aboard the vintage railcar Overland Trail. This car was originally built and delivered in , and its interior is the setting for a key scene in Clint Eastwood’s Flags of Our Fathers. The Acoma railcar is a club-lounge car from the original  streamlined version of the Santa Fe Super Chief. :am - :pm at S.B., W. Yanonali St. :am - :pm at Goleta Train Station,  S. La Patera Ln., Goleta.

>>> august 28, 2014







$-$. Call - or visit


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CALL: 805-898-2870 CLICK: VISIT: AAA Travel - Santa Barbara 3712 State St, SB, CA 93105 *Minimum seven night hotel accommodations at participating property and roundtrip transpacific airfare required. Total savings equals $300 booking discount and member benefit for 2 people. $300 booking discount is valid on new bookings made by August 31, 2014 for travel through May, 31 2015. Offer not combinable with all specials and may be changed or withdrawn at any time. $300 Discount is per booking and taken at the time of booking. **Discount is applied at time of booking and does not apply to air/car-only bookings. Airfare, taxes, surcharges, gratuities, transfers, and excursions are additional unless otherwise indicated. Fuel surcharges, government taxes, other surcharges and deposit, payment and cancellation terms/conditions are subject to change without notice at any time. Rates, terms, conditions, availability and itinerary are subject to change without notice. Other airline restrictions, including, but not limited to baggage limitations and fees, standby policies and fees, non-refundable tickets and change fees with pre-flight notification deadlines may apply. Fees and policies vary among airlines without notice. Please contact the airline directly for details and answers to specific questions you may have. Certain restrictions may apply. AAA members must make advance reservations through AAA Travel to obtain Member Benefits and savings. Member Benefits may vary based on departure date. Rates are accurate at time of printing and are subject to availability and change. Not responsible for errors or omissions. Your local AAA Club acts as an agent for Pleasant Holidays®. CTR #1016202-80. Copyright © 2014 Auto Club Services, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

FREE POTTING SOIL BUY ANY POTTING SOIL AT MSRP AND RECEIVE ANOTHER FREE SALE EXTENDED UNTIL 9/14/14 • GMO/Corporate food alternatives • Modern Garden Tech, Hydroponics, Aquaponics, Beer-making • Warehouse Prices • Solid Advice • Locally Owned




As always, find the complete listings online at And if you have an event coming up, submit it at /eventsubmit.






august 28, 2014

/: Scarlett Rabe  Get to know singer/songwriter Scarlett Rabe through her music as she writes herself in songs like “Live Before I Die” and “Battle Cry.” Don’t miss Rabe on the piano with her full band. pm. SOhO Restaurant & Music Club,  State St. $. Ages +. Call - or visit /: Chris Pierce, Mia Dyson, and B. Willing James  Ones to Watch Productions brings you a great night of music as inspirational musician Chris Pierce will play as critically acclaimed rocker Mia Dyson and Americana musician Brendan Willing James share new music with friends in the . pm. Plaza Playhouse Theater,  Carpinteria Ave., Carpinteria. $-$. Call - or visit /: Cornerstone  This all-star lineup fuses traditional reggae with a conscious Californian vibe to create a unique sound while staying true to the fundamentals of roots reggae. /: Give a Dog a Home ReTail Adoption Center  Want an opportunity to spend time with dogs in off-leash play areas to help decide if one of them could be your next family member? The ReTail Adoption Center will showcase a range of dogs looking for forever homes. :am - pm. La Cumbre Plaza,  S. Hope Ave. Free. Call - or visit Read more on p. .

“Do you want to know, do you really want to know what is going on?” Then come to the show! pm. Velvet Jones,  State St. $. Ages +. Call or visit


/: Sanford Winery and Vineyard’s Annual Harvest Party  Enjoy wine tasting, food, live entertainment, and hay-ride tours through the vineyards (the historic Sanford & Benedict Vineyard and La Rinconada Vineyard). And don’t miss the opportunity to tour the beautiful winery facility and see the  harvest in action. am - pm. Sanford Winery,  Santa Rosa Rd., Lompoc. $-$. Call - or visit sanfordwinery andvineyardsannualharvestparty

SUNDAY 8/31 /: Ruth “Miss Wish” Wishengrad Story Time/Sing-Along  Sometimes we need to physi-

cally act our way into the positive mind-set that we desire, rather than thinking our way into it. Sing to Songs to Change Your Tune, combining visual, auditory, and kinesthetic modalities to fully activate every fiber of your being. pm. Chaucer’s Books,  State St. Free. Call - or visit

/: Nuts for Nutella, Mad About Mousse: Chocolate Class!  Chocolate lovers of all ages unite! Make two very rich desserts with healthy ingredients that require zero cooking. This is a wonderful opportunity for cooks at all levels to learn how to easily make high-quality desserts with a wow factor. All recipes are glutenfree, dairy-free, soy-free, and full of flavor. -pm. S.B. Public Market,  W. Victoria St. Free. Call -.


Need more? Go to for your daily fix of weekly events.











/: Adult Literacy Tutor Training  Help another adult improve basic reading skills as this training course gets new volunteers ready to tutor. There are multiple training courses. am - pm. Townley Room, S.B. Library,  E. Anapamu



St. Free. Call - to preregister or visit





/: Labor Day Picnic with Our Candidates  The Santa Barbara Republican Club will host this good oldfashioned picnic with candidates who are currently running and no longer running. Tritip and chicken will be catered by The Elks, and a van will be provided for rides from the parking lot to the picnic area. RSVPs are required, and cash and checks are accepted at the park. Noon-pm. Kiwanis Meadows, Tuckers Grove Park. $. Call - or visit



/-/: Jack Johnson  This American folk-rock singer/ songwriter, surfer, and filmmaker is back in Santa Barbara. This tour paves the way in green touring practices and community engagement initiatives, which include eco-friendly tour merchandise, sourcing food from local farms, and more. You can jam out with Johnson not one but two days. :pm. S.B. Bowl,  N. Milpas St. $.-$.. Call - or visit Read more on p. .









/: Rip Taylor: Rip Rip Hooray  Rip Taylor (pictured) has dazzled audiences worldwide in a career that has spanned more than  years. Be the first at his documentary premiere, where he will be in attendance and will conduct a Q&A after the film. pm. Arlington Theatre,  State St. $-$. Call - or visit thearlington Read more on p. .





WEDNESDAY 9/3 /: Pet Loss Support Group  Our pets bring so














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WEEK much support, companionship, unconditional love, and a consistency to our lives that it is very natural to grieve their death. This support group will address feelings of sadness, “normal recovery,” and the decision on having another animal. Noon. Hospice of S.B.,  Alameda Padre Serra, Ste. . Free. Call -.


/: Living with Fire in the Chaparral  The chaparral forest has evolved to survive on the steep hillsides and rain cycles of the Santa Ynez Mountains, but when nonnative grasses, mustard, thistle, and fennel fill the void of the mechanically cleared vegetation, they dry up in the summer and are easier to ignite than native chaparral. Richard Halsey will talk about chaparral and fire and the difficult balance between saving lives, homes, and the chaparral environment. :pm. S.B. Museum of Natural History,  Puesta del Sol. Free. Call - or visit /: Conviction  Dig deep beneath the surface of a happy suburban existence and explore the damage done when seeds of mistrust are planted throughout a close neighborhood. The show runs through September . pm. Rubicon Theatre,  E. Main St., Ventura. $-$. Call - or visit rubicontheatre .org. /: Next-Up Stand-Up   Christopher Titus will host this special that is part of the Laugh




Out Loud Comedy Festival that will be filmed for Hulu. You will laugh at a parade of performers showing off their up-andcoming comedic and musical talents: Monty Franklin, Dylan Mandlsohn, Darren Carter, Eric Blake, Josh Waldron, and Jarrod Harris. pm. Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. $-$. Call - or visit Read more on p. . /: SuperNaked  Combining musical prowess, expert songwriting, emotional content, and comedic flair, their music spans several genres and knows no bounds. These friends have joined together to make people happy through good music and fine banter. This Laugh Out Loud Comedy Festival show will be starstudded with guest comedians and musicians. pm. Lobero Theatre,  E. Canon Perdido St. $-$. Ages +. Call - or visit Read more on p. .

FARMERS MARKET SCHEDULE Thursday Goleta: Camino Real Marketplace, -:pm Carpinteria:  block of Linden Ave., -:pm

Friday Montecito:  and  blocks of Coast Village Rd., -:am

Saturday Downtown S.B.: Corner of Santa Barbara and Cota sts., :am-pm Local Artisans & Farmers Market: Calle Real Shopping Ctr.,  Calle Real, Goleta, am-pm

Sunday Goleta: Camino Real Marketplace, am-pm

Tuesday Old Town S.B.: - blocks of State St., -:pm

Wednesday Solvang: Copenhagen Dr. and st St., :-:pm

Need more? Go to for your daily fix of weekly events. august 28, 2014








Introduction to MS Excel


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Scene in S.B.

p. 39


Adoptable Dogs

ReTail Therapy


Photos by John Rose

above: Emily Cesca of Goleta and her boyfriend’s 2-year-old puppy, Willow, shared a yawn in the Redwood section of the S.B. Botanic Garden at the Trails ’n’ Tails 2014 event last weekend. “It reminds me of Yosemite, which is one of my favorite places ever,” said Cesca, who was in the garden for the first time.

Every Sunday La Cumbre shopping mall goes to the dogs. That’s when Give a Dog a Home: ReTail Adoption Center takes over the corner shop — formerly home to Ruth’s Chris Steak House — next to Macy’s and shuttles in canines from the county shelter for the buying public to meet and pet. Lynne Shaw and Rosalie Skefich conceived the idea, and along with the help of volunteers, their notion became a reality one year ago. Last Sunday, happy doggies spent the day meeting potential adopters. Here are a few of the four-leggeds looking for a home: Loki, a year-and-a-half-old pit-bull mix, whose previous life was on the streets, is a friendly pup who enjoyed having his head and face rubbed. Rhett, an 8-month-old greyhound/pit mix found wandering alone downtown, won hearts with his sweet face and relaxed demeanor. Vincent, a 4-year-old pit mix with beautiful golden fur and a people- and dog-friendly disposition, smiled for the camera. Plucky little Rigby, a 4-year-old Chihuahua mix, wasted no time getting petted by visitors. — Michelle Drown MICHELLE DROWN PHOTOS

and the

left: Karen Perkins posed with her dog, Queen, while Michael Beickel drew a caricature of her highness during Trails ’n’ Tails. Since being rescued, the 7-year-old French bulldog has been trained as a therapy dog for veterans and children, as well as a “rapid-change-inheart-rate-detection dog,” said Perkins. “It shows what you can accomplish with an adopted, adult dog if the animal-human bond is strong enough,” she added.

Animal Health

Pets and Heart Disease

Early detection of heart disease can be pivotal in any pet’s long-term prognosis, and the initial detection often occurs at home when the family members recognize the common clinical signs. The cardiovascular system is complex with many organs and biochemical processes that work together in a perfect balance in healthy animals. When this system is compromised, pets begin to show gradual or obvious changes. The following are some signs that can suggest your pet is experiencing cardiovascular compromise.

Respiratory Distress: One of the most sensitive signs is an increase in the respiration rate while sleeping. Normally the respiration rate should be less than 32 breaths per minute (i.e., about a breath every two seconds). This can be observed by counting how many rises or falls of the chest occur over one minute. If this rate is increased or is accompanied by an abdominal effort, cardiac compromise may be indicated. If this rate is consistently elevated, then your pet should have a cardiopulmonary evaluation as soon as possible. Cough: A more obvious sign of heart disease is a recent and persistent cough, often most pronounced in the morning, evening, and when rising from a reclined position. Early detection of heart disease in cats can be even more difficult to identify, for typically they do not cough with cardiac disease but will display an increased breathing effort. Cats also exhibit an open-mouth breathing pattern, which is accompanied by an increase in respiratory rate and effort.

Exercise Intolerance: Another detectable symptom is a decline in activity, reluctance to exercise, or a general weakness, referred to as exercise intolerance. Dogs or cats may become tired after short bouts of exercise far sooner than what they could previously tolerate, breathing heavier for a longer duration afterward. At times, their gums may change color to a purplish or pale hue.

Collapse/Syncope: Your pet may experience collapsing or fainting episodes if severe cardiac disease is present. This may result either from irregularities with your pet’s heart electrical activity called arrhythmias or severe decline in heart function. This serious sign should be promptly evaluated by a vet. Cats can experience collapsing episodes with paralysis of either front or hind limbs and vocalization. This is a severe medical emergency, and veterinary care should be sought out immediately. Changes in Behavior: A general restlessness may occur, especially at night, appearing as if they are having a difficult time finding a comfortable place to lie down. Withdrawn or hiding behavior is more often seen in cats with heart disease. The appearance of a generalized depression has also been described.

Weight Fluctuations: Weight loss is strongly linked to longstanding heart disease, but your pet may experience what appears to be weight gain, as well. This would appear as a bloated or distended abdomen due to inappropriate fluid retention.

— Dr. T.J. Morrison, cardiologist at Advanced Veterinary Specialists (729-4460; and owner of Coast to Coast Cardiology






Give a Dog a Home: ReTail Adoption Center is Sundays, 11:30 a.m. - 2 p.m., at La Cumbre Plaza, next to Macy’s. Call 222-4459 or visit


250,000 The approximate number of termites an aardwolf can eat in a single night. Aardwolfs are related to hyenas, but they don’t eat meat. SOURCE:


living | Starshine

Road Hazards:

Driving with My Teen

Audited. Verified. Proven.


ike you, I’m a spiritual person given to pondering the great

unanswerable questions of life. Like this little existential mystery: Why in Saab’s name are 15-year-olds allowed to operate moving vehicles on public roadways? I can think of no good reason why a person who still drops food from his mouth with stunning regularity — and alarming nonchalance — should be permitted to propel a half-ton, motorized murder machine through cityscapes occupied by innocent and unsuspecting humans. It ain’t right. So it’s only natural that I lurch into a sudden brace-for-impact stance when my son is driving and we are careening down a freeway off-ramp at rush hour into a snarl of ghastly gridlock. “Mom, really? Can you not do this?” the giant child says, dramatically mimicking my dashboard death grip. “Very well,” I say, calmly. “But what you didn’t see is that I stopped myself from screaming, ‘PLEASE, GOD, DON’T LET ME DIE IN AN UNDERPASS!’ So … that’s something.” I fear for his safety, sure. And that of his fellow motorists. But it’s more than that. It’s bigger. From the first time he operated a wheeled vehicle — the Elmo lawn mower that helped him take his first steps, his fudgy feet flap-slapflapping the ground as he pushed that thing from couch to kitchen and back again (boy, I hope he doesn’t read this) — I’ve been scared by what it signifies. From Elmower to trike to skateboard to city bus, each time he climbed aboard a zooming new vamoosemobile, I was by Starshine reminded that he’s going to leave one day. And that I can’t steer his life for him. He was born — conceived and created — to email: take his own wheel and navigate his own course, to merge into the traffic of life, vulnerable to blind spots and encountering untold hazards along the way. Scanning the road ahead for what the future may bring and swerving dangerously to avoid metaphors like this one that never run out of gas but just keep coming at you like … like the broken white lines on the freeway. In the months since the optimistic folks at the DMV gave him the go-ahead to drive, my son has gone from being a hyper-cautious pupil grateful for tips like “careful: leashless dog, two o’clock” to a huffy knowit-all who says, “Excuse me, but who just took two straight hours of driver’s training? I think I know what I’m doing.” The weird thing is — he’s right. Apart from inspiring the occasional brace-for-impact stance, the kid’s got skills. He’s good. Whether driving his dad’s electric car with its distracting miles-per-kilowatt-hour readout, his mom’s slippery stick shift with the fussy fourth gear, his grandmother’s brake-averse behemoth SUV, or the herky-jerky family Jeep that’s older than his biology teacher, he’s gauging his following distance, using turn signals, yielding to those with the right of way. And damn it all if I don’t have to credit those video games he’s been playing for the last decade for whittling his reaction time down to nearly nothin’. Once a vigilant, sweaty-palmed passenger who felt the need to be the trained eyes, ears, and instincts he lacked, I now find my gaze drifting from the pavement ahead over to watch my kid at ease and in charge at this metaphor-rich command center — operating pedals, knobs, and levers while carrying on conversations, slowing at curves, flipping on headlights. Would you look at this guy?! At these times, I have to wonder if the plot to let teenagers drive is really just a tough-love way to help parents recognize these neargrown-ups as the capable, sort-of-amazing people that they are, when they don’t happen to be eating. If so, then there’s little we can do except hand over the very keys that will take our kids out of our driveways and, one day soon, entirely out of our sight. And just brace for the impact.


Starshine Roshell is the author of Broad Assumptions. 40


august 28, 2014

living | Sports

Diabolical Running Events The Nine Trails 35-Mile Endurance Run and the Pier to Peak Half Marathon



by John Zant


rom the early mornWharf. The annual run, billed as the ing, when they might world’s toughest half marathon (13.1 loom faintly in the miles), has been going on since 1993. clouds, to the end of On Gibraltar Road, the race course the day, when they are proceeds relentlessly and exhaustingly illuminated by the setting sun, uphill, and it ends in a torturous final the Santa Ynez Mountains conmile up Camino Cielo to the peak. tribute mightily to the postcard The terrain is made for Dubberley, 33, beauty of Santa Barbara. Rising a former professional cyclist.“I love almost 4,000 feet above the hills,” he said. “I know how to suffer.” cityscape, they invite exploration. A native of Santa Cruz, Dubberley There are hiking trails that wind graduated from UCSB with a degree in mechanical engineering and earned through shady canyons and his masters at UC Berkeley at the same ascend the rugged sandstone time he was racing the likes of Lance slopes, covered by fire-scorched Armstrong on a bike. chaparral. There is Gibraltar Dubberley’s love of mountains led Road, a steep and twisting ribhim to rock climbing. He and another bon of pavement that connects climber made an exceptionally fast the city to Camino Cielo at the ascent of El Capitan in Yosemite — 15 crest of the range. hours up the imposing granite face. Those features are the setHe is the technical expert behind the ting for two diabolical running LighterBro, a multi-tool pocketknife events, both of them occurring developed and marketed in Santa this month — the Nine Trails 35-Mile Endurance Run, which Barbara. Between work and an active took place on August 16, and the family life with his wife and 1-year-old Pier to Peak Half Marathon, son, he keeps himself in shape in the which is coming Sunday, August most expeditious way possible.“I run 31. hard uphill two or three times a week,” Patsy Dorsey, an active he said. volunteer at Santa Barbara road Dubberley and Hansen have been races, originated the Nine Trails friends the past several years.“Matt is in 1990 as a way of showing off a naturally talented athlete,” Hansen her hometown scenery and givsaid. Dubberley is impressed by the ing runners a huge test of their way Hansen glides over the ground. mettle. The run is a grinding “Tyler looks different from other runLEGGING IT: Endurance runners Tyler Hansen (left) and Matt Dubberley test their mettle each year in two of the most roller coaster that goes from the ners,” he said. They finished 1-2 in the difficult running events Santa Barbara has to offer: Nine Trails and Pier to Peak. Hansen won this year’s Nine Trails. Jesusita Trailhead to the Romero Chuck’s Beach Run this summer — (INSET) A California king snake devours a rattlesnake on Nine Trails’ Buena Vista Trail. Canyon Trailhead and back. Hansen first — and Dubberley noticed Between start and finish, the how his friend’s footprints in the sand “Everything was aligned,” Hansen said.“I had really good course goes up (and down) 10,500 feet, making the 35 miles were distinct and nicely sheared.“You could tell he’s really seem more like 50. Dorsey took it as a compliment when run- hydration. I kept focused on my stride, on where my feet efficient,” Dubberley said. were landing. I walked the steep sections and ran hard on the ner Mike “Mad Dog” Rehorn put his hands on his knees at They have competed in solo runs up the Jesusita Trail from the finish and muttered,“Where is that sadistic bitch?” Dorsey gradual downhills. I was four minutes behind McCarty at the the Cater Plant to Inspiration Point. Using a GPS-controlled exulted,“Yes, success!” halfway point. I caught him at the top of Hot Springs. He was mobile-phone app that records their times, Hansen, DubberThe Nine Trails enraptured Luis Escobar, a Santa Maria done. He was hurting.” ley, and fellow runner Curly Guillen alternately posted the photographer.“I was there at the beginning — December 1, FKT (Fastest Known Time) on the steep four-mile trail. DubHansen does not have sole claim to the title “King of the 1990 — the first long-distance race I’ve ever done,” he said.“It’s Trails.” Several runners who were far behind him would vote berley claims to have the current record of 27:32. visually stunning.” Escobar has run thousands of miles since Dubberley figures he’ll be a minute or two behind the leadfor the California king snake that they encountered on the then, including the Badwater (Death Valley to Mount Whiters of the Pier to Peak (PP) when they pass the Old Mission, Buena Vista Trail. It was coiled around a rattlesnake and had ney) and a 50-miler in Mexico’s Copper Canyon with the two and a half miles into the race.“They’ll be running 5:30 begun to devour the venomous serpent headfirst. Dorsey, legendary Tarahumara runners.“It all started on the Jesusita miles, and I won’t be that fast,” he said.“But when they slow who has regained her health and spent hours hugging runTrail in 1990,” he said.“It’s been part of my life ever since.” down going up the mountain, I should gain on them.” ners at the finish line, was thrilled by the pictures they took.“I Escobar became the Nine Trails organizer when Dorsey McCarty, a rugged 43-year-old endurance athlete, was thought the Nine Trails would bring them close to nature,” she had to fight for her life against cancer.“We’ve run it every year, said, “but I didn’t plant that king snake.” the first to the peak last year in 1:39:53. Aaron Gillen set the record of 1:33:04 in 2008, the same year Sara Dillman was sometimes unofficially because of the Tea Fire and Jesusita Hansen, a San Marcos graduate, gave up running in 2000 the fastest woman and finished sixth overall in 1:47:20. A third Fire,” he said. This year he brought it back to official status, but after he injured his ankle playing basketball. He started up of them women, 300-400 runners take up the challenge every he had second thoughts about scheduling it in mid-August. again in 2008, running a half marathon with his future wife, Vanessa Carter. He prefers running trails to urban streets. year. “The Forest Service gave me that date, and I took it, but it was “It’s very calming to leave the busyness of life behind,” he said. The severity of the PP course can humble the proudest fricking hot,” Escobar said.“About a third of the field didn’t runners. Hansen, recovering from the Nine Trails, is staying complete the distance. I’d like to move it to February or March “The Jesusita Trail is in my backyard. On the early-morning runs, you see the sunrise over the fog layer. Everybody in out of it.“The last time I tried it, in 2010, I was injured and in the future.” Tyler Hansen led 43 finishers in this year’s Nine Trails. Santa Barbara needs to get up there and see that view.” couldn’t finish,” Dubberley said. “If my body’s good, it will be Matt Dubberley anticipates taking in the view Sunday at The 33-year-old property manager, who coaches cross-coungood. If not, there’s next year.” the 3,995-foot summit of La Cumbre Peak, the highest point try at San Marcos High, negotiated the course in 6 hours, 40 minutes, and 8 seconds, almost an hour ahead of secondof the front range. It is the pine-scented terminus of the Pier For more sports, including a weekly highlight place Van McCarty (7:32:16) of San Luis Obispo. to Peak race, which will start at 6:30 a.m. at the foot of Stearns schedule, see august 28, 2014



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living | Food & Drink + + + + + + +

t last year’s Santa Barbara Tequila Harvest Festival, famous comedians Alex Reymundo (pictured left) and Ron White — who met over a shot of tequila and a beer at a Texas stand-up bar in 1989 and have been good friends ever since — unveiled their Number Juan Tequila to the world. They took home the gold medal, the first of many awards and accolades they would earn over the ensuing year; this Saturday, August 30, they return to Elings Park as one of the main sponsors for the agave-based, liquor-focused fest, now in its fifth year. To learn more about the brand, I spoke at length with Reymundo, a Latino raised in the bourbon-soaked state of Kentucky known for inventing the uniquely American “Hick-Spanic” and “Red-Nexican” genres of stand-up comedy.

/sbindyfood DANIEL TORRES



So I brought it up in a meeting of market research guys, and everyone in that room said,“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You need to be serious.” The very next week, I went on a radio show that’s syndicated in 105 markets across the country and asked what people thought of the name Number Juan. It was overwhelming how many people wrote in,“That’s the greatest name ever.” I went back to that firm and said,“You just lost an account.” How does tequila do in Kentucky? Fantastic. Kentucky isn’t one of the biggest in tequila consumption, but it was the perfect state to launch what we’re doing. Our extra añejo is aged in a retired bourbon barrel, so if someone only drinks bourbon, I take him straight to that. I can’t keep it on the shelf here in Kentucky.

Comedians Alex Reymundo and Ron White Don’t Laugh About Liquor by Matt Kettmann

How did a comedian start making tequila? I got tired of paying the tab! But I love tequila, and I have a friend who’s an importer, and he turned me on to a little bitty distillery in Mexico. When I tasted it, I was just literally beside myself. I wanted to buy it, but they’d never had a U.S. presence. I convinced them that I would use the same care and passion in selling it that they do in creating it. They’re artists in every sense of the word. It’s a tiny little place in the shadow of monstrous distilleries that produce the well-known American labels. I couldn’t walk away. Have you visited the distillery? I’ve been down there many times and so has Ron. We’ve actually stood in the field and harvested the agave ourselves for a little while. It’s amaz-

ing what those guys can do. They take those leaves off the piña and leave it perfectly rounded, like a big old egg. Mine came out kind of square and oblong. Were there any concerns about the name? Number Juan comes from one of my jokes about Mexicans in NASCAR, a driver named Manny Peddy in the car Number Juan, the uninsured F-. I just loved the tongue-in-cheek aspect. I believe if you make people laugh, you disarm them in every way. I’ve also traveled in every state in the country, and I wanted to turn Americans onto some really nice tequila, but not everyone can actually say “Cazadores” or “Fortaleza.” I wanted it to be called something that everyone can say.

With Ron being a famous scotch drinker, how did his fans react? We were nervous about that, but it’s pretty amazing: We’ve heard nothing but positive response to him drinking and owning a tequila label. He wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t believe how great it is. His heart’s in it. It’s not like he quit drinking!


Number Juan Tequila will be at the Fifth Annual Santa Barbara Tequila Harvest Festival Saturday, August 30, 4-7 p.m., in Elings Park. Tickets are $50-$100. See



ometimes it seems restaurateurs flip a coin choosing a cuisine for new spots, with heads meaning Mexican and tails meaning pizza. That means no one, especially creativity, wins. That’s where Daniel Dumietz stands out, bringing Buddha Bowls ( Embarcadero del Mar, 961-4555, to Isla Vista. “The challenge I’ve had is people are creatures of habit,” he explained, so they don’t necessarily want to eat things out of the box, or bread bowl, as the case may be.“My way to solve it: pictures. So when you see it, you say,‘That looks delicious. I want it.’ ” Now photos of his bowls, from the Mediterranean to the mellow, abound, featuring food photography so well done you almost might think Buddha Bowls is a chain you’ve never heard of. But the spot is sui generis, an idea the Evanston, Illinois, native has been developing since high school. A UCSB grad, Dumietz signed his lease in February of last year, walked in June, and opened in October. He fell in love with Isla Vista when looking at schools, claiming,“I saw the demographic: a liberal, open-minded, laid-back beach community of younger people and thought,‘It’s perfect.’ ” He started UCSB in economics until it “got so theoretical” and wound up an English major because he likes to read and write, skills that have been crucial for launching Buddha Bowls. He also praised

the Technology Management Program.“I didn’t get the certificate,” he said, “but it was like a class in entrepreneurship.” The idea to put fresh veggies, maybe some chicken, and a good sauce into a bread bowl and then heat that up took a bit for Dumietz to develop.“It’s been an evolution and is still an evolution,” he explained. “It started with bagels. I wanted to call it Blunts and Bagels, a drive-through bagels and dispensary. And then it hit me I don’t think people should be driving high.” He PASS THE BOWL: Entrepreneurial UCSB grad Daniel Dumietz delivers soulful scooped out some bagel, grub surrounded by bread at I.V.’s Buddha Bowls. added hummus, and liked it, but realized the bagel wasn’t big enough. Then came bread bowls, whose tops, or “snaps,” as he the pre-squeezed stuff is not the same,” he said.“That’s part of calls them, can also be sold to the more carb-o-phobic. the vibe here: It’s like home cooking, not the usual I.V. drunky “I’ve never been much for the hoity-toity,” he explained. food party party.” “Cooking isn’t magical stuff, but there is something about sauSo why Buddha Bowls? “That’s the téed onions and vegetables. If you keep tweaking, it will taste whole idea of the universal, bringing MORE good.” His bread comes daily from Tri-County Bread Service, people together,” said Dumietz.“I’m not FOOD but he does pretty much everything else from scratch, includjust selling bowls; I’m selling the culture SEE P. 62 — George Yatchisin ing a popular clam chowder. “I like to squeeze my own lemons; of Isla Vista.”





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By José Cruz González. Music by Daniel Valdez.

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DOUBLE PLAY: Spencer VonHershman is spearheading a new plan to bring live music to the East Beach Batting Cages. Last week, roughly 70 people turned out for the makeshift venue’s first show.





f you’re a live music fan living in Santa Barbara, you’re already well aware of the increasing venue deficit plaguing this city. And apparently, so are the folks at the East Beach Batting Cages. Just last week, the lower Milpas Street establishment began hosting concerts after hours. They’re calling the pop-up venue Funzone, and they’re already looking to make the facility a fully functional hot spot for weekend shows. Batting Cages owner John Cox is an S.B. native who grew up in the ’s once-thriving music scene.“When I was a kid growing up in Santa Barbara, the local music scene was incredibly important to me,” Cox said. “Friday and Saturday nights at the Living Room, Sniffy’s, and the Pickle Patch kept me out of trouble and ignited a love of music in me.” Cox continued pursuing his musical interests after high school and eventually even played with his band, Fly By Night, at Warped Tour. Now, he focuses mostly on his business but still plays music in his free time. “Funzone is a live music experiment we’re trying out,” he went on to explain.“The batting cage employees are all music fans


and came up with the idea of using the old and welcome space that the community can arcade room for small, all-ages shows. I’m enjoy and one that celebrates the diverse hoping this will be a great resource for new music being made here in S.B. In addition, local bands and a fun, safe place for the Batting Cages’ foosball and table-tennis music fans of all ages to hang games will be available during Funzone out. No drugs, no alcohol, shows as “extra entertainment.” just great music.” The fun officially kicked off Cox anticipates the last Friday, August 22, with venue will feature Santa Barbara–turned–Bay music from all genres Area act Watercolor Paintings, and levels of ability, S.F.’s Void Boys, and ers ranging from middle Blossom and Mallards, but you school and high school can still get in on the action. BY MITCH GRIMES bands to touring bands Show organizer Spencer Vonand area musicians. His Hershman says upcoming events hope is to keep costs low — $5 include Uranium Orchard, Big Mess, show admission rates will be put Virga, and Smoke Wizard on Wednesday, toward paying for touring bands and investSeptember 17, and Easter Teeth and Pelican ing in gear for the venue. The eventual goal is Vision on Saturday, September 27. He also to raise enough money to build a stage and encourages interested bands to get in touch. purchase live sound equipment, he says. For more info about shows and booking, Like the venues Cox remembers from email his youth, Funzone will be open to all ages or visit all of the time, and there will be a strictly ■ enforced policy against alcohol or drugs on the premises. Cox wants to provide a safe


THE RAVEONETTES PE‘AHI On their seventh album, Pe‘ahi — named in tribute to Maui’s north-shore surf break — The Raveonettes embark on a noise-pop surfin’ safari of sorts. More precisely, the record is an homage to West Coast surf culture filtered through the lens of guitarist Sune Rose Wagner’s recent loss of his womanizing, alcoholic father. In the aftermath, Wagner has concocted an aquatic, stream-of-consciousness concept album that addresses the negative effects of infidelity on the children of narcissistic parents. The fuzzed-out “A Hell Below” and bit-crushed guitar squall of “Kill!” tackle Wagner’s childhood trauma of walking in on his father and a redhead, while the string-laden and melancholic “Wake Me Up” finds him wondering whether he’s doomed to repeat his dad’s mistakes. Other themes include the

heartbroken who look for salvation in nostalgia (the gorgeous “The Rains of May”) and the creative and revolutionary spirit of the disenfranchised Zephyr skate crew youth of Santa Monica in the ’70s (the transcendent “Z-Boys”). Instead of an “Endless Summer,” the Danish duo offer up “Endless Sleeper,” inspired by Wagner’s near-death experience while surfing in Hawai‘i. In a nod to the Doors, the opening bars of the song slyly salute the 4/4 time of “Break on Through (To the Other Side),” though they sound as if they’re being played by Dick Dale. Later, album closer “Summer Ends” finds Wagner placing his father’s ghost full fathom five. As usual, The Raveonettes’ dark beauty and Everly Brothers–style harmonies juxtaposed with Jesus and Mary Chain–esque guitar distor-

tion prevail, and though Wagner’s lyrics sometimes come across as gauche, the songs and Justin MeldalJohnsen’s excellent production skills raise Pe‘ahi to great heights. Prepare to ride the wild sonic surf. — Sean Mageean

BOTTOMS UP: Forget the copper Moscow-mule mug. This summer’s hottest beverage container is stainless and sustainable.


It’s tough not to think about the environment when you’re rocking out perched atop the nosebleeds of the Santa Barbara Bowl. As one of the state’s most picturesque — and decidedly organic feeling — places to catch a concert, the Bowl can claim some seriously striking views of the Channel Islands stretch, not to mention a thriving on-site collection of native flora and fauna. With all that natural beauty at their fingertips, it’s no wonder the venue’s direcCOME TO THE tors have proudly hoisted the torch for Mother Earth– friendly ways to catch live music. This week, as Jack Johnson returns home to headline, the Bowl launches the next in a long line of greening initiatives called MyCupAndMe. Like the little changes that came before it, the campaign is zeroing in on yet another small shift that is sure to make a big dent in the Bowl’s carbon footprint. The formula is simple: For just 10 (15 with beer) dollars, concertgoers can purchase a Klean Kanteen– made, S.B. Bowl–branded stainless steel pint glass for all their beer, wine, and soda-guzzling needs. Every time you go back for a refill with your cup in tow, you’ll receive 1 off your beverage purchase. For the life of the cup. (That’s a buy-seven-beers-get-the-eighth-one-free deal, for anyone who’s counting.) The initiative is a collaborative effort forged by the Bowl, LoaTree, Klean Kanteen, and All At Once, Johnson’s own social-action network, which has been working toward a plastic-free world since it launched in 2008. Considering the current per-season cup-use rate of close to 90,000, there’s no doubt that the venue’s system has plenty of room for improvement. “We consider ourselves not only hosts of our musical guests, but stewards of the Bowl’s land,” said Executive Director Rick Boller. “The phase-out of single-use items, most importantly plastics, is our next, top priority. The impact that plastics have on our environment is astounding, and we think we’ve found a way to be a part of the solution and set the stage for others to follow.” For more info on MyCupAndMe, visit — Aly Comingore



M O R E A R T S & E N T E R TA I N M E N T > > >


FLOWER POWER Beauty and Science: the orchid evolves. At the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. Shows through September 7. Reviewed by Charles Donelan









BUGSY MALONE featuring Paul Williams







SEP 20 8PM



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augusT 28, 2014


SEP 26 8PM

or thousands of years, the far-flung and diverse family of flowering plants known as orchidaceae has exerted a powerful influence on human culture. From the legendary Orchid Pavilion Gathering in dynastic China, circa 353 ce, to Charlie Kaufman’s 2002 film Adaptation, orchids have been enmeshed with the highest levels of human cultural aspiration. As natural resources for vanilla flavoring, as inspirations for perfume, and as highly soughtafter objects in their own right, orchids have attained high value. As the subjects of innumerable experiments in ORCHIDACIOUS: Frederick Sander’s monthly hybridization, as a primary publication Reichenbachia is the source for this site of scientific research into illustration of Aeranthus sequipedalis. evolutionary co-adaptation, and as recurring symbols for the sheer extravagance of life, orchids occupy a singular place in the kingdom of flora. This exhibition at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History (SBMNH), which was curated by Linda Miller, offers multiple angles from which to view the orchids, all of them engaging, many of them ravishing, and some of them microscopic. Beauty and Science additionally serves as an intelligent and useful introduction to the many facets of the Museum of Natural History as an educational, cultural, and scientific institution. True orchidmania starts with Victorian imperialism, but Beauty and Science starts a century or more before that, with 18th- and 19th-century botanical plates remarkable for their delicacy and restraint. It’s only when global explorers become orchid bounty hunters that the flowers, and the books that depict them, become oversized big business. For example, take one of Beauty and Science’s showpieces, a copy of The Orchidaceae of Guatemala and Mexico (1837-1843). This magnificent example of fine publishing is a gigantic, gorgeous reference work that’s twice the size of even the biggest coffee-table books. A recent gift to the SBMNH’s extensive and carefully preserved collection, it reflects the passion of James Bateman, master of Knypersley Hall, and the ingenuity of his plant hunter, George Ure Skinner. The majesty of this book reflects a period in which the demand for New World orchids in England was such that in 1878, a single shipment was reported to include more than 2 million plants. The second section of this intricate presentation concerns the scientific value of orchids in the development of evolutionary theory. Each orchid flower has a structure that’s suited to a specific pollinator, and the investigation of these co-adaptations has proved to be a scientific bonanza, as well as a thrilling example of nature at its most surprising. Butterflies pollinate the orchid known as psychopsis, so its flower mimics the appearance of a female butterfly. Flies like bulbophyllum orchids because they smell like rotting meat. The variation of targets and techniques is mind-boggling. The final three sections of the show focus on the ways in which botanical science has driven the methods used to picture the orchid. After Linnaeus, illustrators became more sensitive to the functionality of the plant, seeking to define its structure through a schematic approach. In the golden age of Victorian orchidmania, the breeding of hybrid orchids set in motion two distinct forms of orchid science: the breeding of new orchids in greenhouses and the investigation of less well-known wild species of the plant. Dr. Daniel Geiger, the Museum of Natural History’s resident malacologist (that’s the study of shells), is also an orchid gardener, and he participates in ongoing research concerning a relatively rare species, the tiny Thai orchid known as Oberonia or fairy orchid. Geiger uses a scanning electron microscope that was purchased for the museum in 2004 to create spectacular, highly magnified images of the structure of the Oberonia. Thus, the 18th century connects to the 21st in this lively and ■ instructive show.





WE ARE FAMILY: The Lit Moon cast of The Cherry Orchard prepares for a chilly Russian springtime.


or serious theater fans, the great dramas of Anton Chekhov — The Seagull, Uncle Vanya, Three Sisters, and The Cherry Orchard — are absolutely essential plays representing the highest pinnacle of achievement in the dramatic arts. For nearly everyone else, especially in the English-speaking world, they are mystifying riddles widely known to induce outbreaks of “maybe I just don’t get theater” syndrome. People with complex, similar-sounding double names and other nicknames gather and talk for three hours. Curtain. While it’s not necessarily quite that bleak, even experienced directors understand the need to do some- by Charles Donelan thing special in order to bring what Chekhov’s contemporary Leo Tolstoy described as “a theater of mood” to life on the American stage. For Lit Moon Theatre Company’s John Blondell, who is directing The Cherry Orchard in a production that will be performed at Westmont’s Porter Theatre this weekend, September 4-6, the trick is “to maintain the humor but keep it character driven.” The director and his cast have been meeting for intensive rehearsals separated by long breaks over the last year. This “hothouse” approach to preparing Chekhov is similar to the process used by André Gregory and Wallace Shawn in developing the production that would become the 1994 Louis Malle film Vanya on nd Street. What is it about Chekhov that attracts actors and directors to work on his plays in this extraordinary way? As with the classical repertoire in music, performers feel that focused repetition of these works over time offers them an ever-deepening sense of what’s implicit, which, for the introspective Chekhov, was nearly everything. Vicky Finlayson, who plays the thwarted matriarch Madame Lyubov Andreyevna Ranevskaya, told me that her character is “a loving woman making this voyage home to find a purer version of herself,” thus providing a beautiful example of where working on Chekhov in this way can take the experienced actor in terms of character analysis. The story revolves around Lyubov Andreyevna losing her family’s country estate and its beloved cherry orchard to overwhelming debt, and it reflects a crisis in Russian society that followed the emancipation of the serfs in 1861 and that didn’t resolve until the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 — if then. By presenting the waves of social disorder that surround the transfer of just one heavily mortgaged rural property, Chekhov captures a galaxy of social types, both residual and emergent. Faithful retainer Firs yearns for the good old days when masters and men knew their respective places, while the self-made Lopakhin, who buys the farm and chops down the orchard, bickers with a skeptical intellectual, Trofimov, and a sketchy servant, Yasha, yet retains the love and admiration of the woman whose legacy he acquires and immediately, to her mind, destroys. As part of their work on the play, the cast shared their own stories of going back to the homes in which they grew up. “Every actor had a story,” reported Finlayson, whose parents live on a 17-acre apple farm in Wilton, New Hampshire.“Yes, they have an orchard, and no, I did not grow up there,” she said,“but I have an organic garden of my own, and through that experience, I feel I can understand something about Chekhov’s connection with his fruit trees.” The tide of feeling that arises whenever people anywhere consider questions of property, prosperity, and fair land use is something we can all identify with in 21st century California, and returning with Lit Moon to Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard is one richly rewarding way to reflect on it. You can go home again, it seems, but you can’t go back to the same home twice.



Lit Moon’s The Cherry Orchard will be at Westmont’s Porter Theatre Thursday through Saturday, September 4-6. For tickets and information, go to or call 565-7140. Looking ahead just one week, Lit Moon presents Hamlet at Center Stage Theater on September 12 and 13.

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BEST BUDS: Since meeting as students at UCSB, Zach Gill (left) and Jack Johnson have been musically inseparable. Last month, they played the Waikiki Shell in Honolulu, Hawai‘i (pictured). This week, they’ll share the stage for two sold-out shows at the Santa Barbara Bowl.



s followers of Santa Barbara music lore know, Jack Johnson and Zach Gill go way back. Both famously attended UCSB and made extensive rounds in the Isla Vista party scene of the mid1990s — Jack with his honey-warmed voice and band Soil, Gill with his funky psychedelic pop act Django. Nowadays, it’s easy to look back and call that era something of an artistic renaissance for S.B. — today Jack is one of the world’s best-selling musical artists, and Gill’s Animal Liberation Orchestra (ALO) is eight albums in and still going strong. Perhaps more importantly, though, Gill and Johnson are still in the business of making music together. This month, in addition to holding down the keys in Jack’s band, Zach is bringing ALO out of hiding to open a handful of dates on Johnson’s current West Coast tour, which comes to the Santa Barbara Bowl this Sunday, August 31, and Monday, September 1. In anticipation, we recruited Gill to ask some questions of his music-making partner and longtime friend. We caught up with them backstage in Bend, Oregon, earlier this week. Zach Gill: Jack, you and I both recently saw that movie Jodorowsky’s Dune. In it Alejandro Jodorowsky says that when he makes a movie, he’s carving out his soul, and listening to you sing earlier, you have this line that goes, “I stole my soul from myself / Now I wonder.” Thinking about that idea and this progression of albums, I’m just curious what you think soul carving is. Jack Johnson: That’s a good one. It’s like this Neil Young quote you told me about how writing songs is like plucking things from your dreams before they’re able to ripen. But writing songs,

every time I go through one, I think of the Dewey Decimal System [Laughs.] — in a way, I get to file things away. It clears space and it helps me have a clear mind. When I finish a song,

were playing small venues, and I kind of grew comfortable with those, and then we were lucky enough to step up and do theaters. Then right when I was almost comfortable with that, we


ZG: I’ve been feeling like — and correct me if I’m wrong — but I feel like on this tour there’s been this lack of drama. Not that there’s been a lot of drama on the other tours, but I felt like there’s been an ease and a comfort with you onstage. And part of that could just be getting older, but I’m wondering what you think it is — whether it’s getting more comfortable or just learning how to dial in. JJ: That’s for sure. I feel like I’m finally comfortable onstage, which is probably a bad thing. The first tour I ever did was opening for Ben Harper, and I thought I was going to pass out every time I walked onstage. [Laughs.] People think I’m exaggerating, but I was that nervous. Every time before I’ve played things like Letterman or Jay Leno, I literally almost passed out. When they do that,“4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …” and you’re supposed to start, I see stars and stuff. But I also felt like, man, I’m being given this opportunity — I have to step up and get over my fear. ZG: That sounds like soul carving to me. JJ: That is soul carving. It took years. At first we

JJ: That was “Bubble Toes,” man. ZG: Oh, really? JJ: I can’t believe I have to explain this to you. [Laughs.]

by Aly Comingore and Zach Gill something that’s been lingering in that part gets cleared out, and I get to think about other things, so in that way I think it shapes my soul.

night / I wrote my first love song.” What song was that?

ZG: That was the first one?

started doing more outdoor amphitheaters, places like the Bowl. That was kind of the nice, natural-sized venue for us, and we’ve stuck with it for a long time, and I guess you can’t help getting used to the feeling of being up onstage after that much time. And then you actually start enjoying it. It’s nice. ZG: I always get the butterflies right before it happens. JJ: You don’t seem nervous. ZG: I’m very nervous! I’ll have my hot toddy, try to relax … JJ: Zach’s my secret weapon to not being nervous. ZG: But being a frontman is very different. I’d been in ALO since I was a kid, but as soon as I got into your band, it felt like a relief. I just come in when it feels right. It’s like when birds fly in a flock or something. JJ: We used to try and constrain you. We used to tell you your parts. Then cut to you standing on your piano last night taking a melodica solo. [Laughs.] “I am Zach Gill; hear me roar!” ZG: There’s a song on the new album [called “Never Fade”] where you say,“I went home that

JJ: To me, it’s like, I couldn’t have written a love song before I met my love, so I may have tried, connected the dots and made words rhyme, but you can’t write a love song without love. ZG: But did you actually go home and write it that night? JJ: You’re ruining the mystique for people. That’s the song that makes all the ladies go wild. [Laughs.] ZG: Sorry, man. [Laughs.] JJ: But yeah, I wrote that song shortly after I met her. I don’t know if it was that night. ZG: But that’s the one,“Bubble Toes”? JJ: Yeah, yeah. It tells the story of this girl walking up to me and being blown away when she sat down. It was me and Eric Cardenas that were sitting next to each other at the table. We both thought we had a chance. [Laughs.] But I won.


Jack Johnson plays the Santa Barbara Bowl on Sunday, August 31, with special guest Bahamas and on Monday, September 1, with special guest Animal Liberation Orchestra. For info, call 962-7411 or visit

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TAKE FLIGHT: The Bottle Rockets may be one of the music world’s best-kept secrets, but this Thursday, the secret’s out. The band brings its rootsy folk rock to the Lobero Theatre on August 28 with Marshall Crenshaw.


RELAUNCH: The alt-country musical landscape has never been particularly starstudded terrain. Thanks to forefathers like Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young and modern-day luminaries like Wilco and Whiskeytown, the genre’s gotten by on a steady stream of normalcy: working-class songs for working-class people, sung by folks who don’t just look and act the part — they embody it. As such, today’s Americana purveyors tend to be some of the hardest working in the business. (Remember Crazy Heart?) It’s somewhere in the mix of roots and folk and rock, tucked firmly between bands like The Hold Steady and the Old ’s, where we find The Bottle Rockets. Back in 1992, long before Jeff Tweedy became a household name, the Festus, Missouri, quartet came out swinging, brandishing the kind of bar ballads that hit home no matter where you were, but resonated a little stronger with a stiff drink in hand. Like many of their contemporaries and protégés, The Bottle Rockets make records that feel lively — they’re visceral affairs that benefit from a good-old crank of the dial, immediately striking a trained ear as music made by real musicians. But they also tend to get lumped in with the so-called “unsung heroes” of the modern Americana world. This Thursday, August 28, the band plugs in at the Lobero Theatre in support of a collection of reissues dubbed Bottle Rockets and the Brooklyn Side (out now on Bloodshot Records). They’ll be joined onstage by power-pop legend Marshall Crenshaw. Read: Expect a whole lot of loud sad songs, patriotic enthusiasm, and honest-to-goodness guitar twang. The show starts at 8 p.m. Call 963-0761 or visit for tickets and info. RAGE ON: And while we’re in the mood to get nostalgic, allow me to introduce The Last Internationale. Boasting Rage Against the Machine (RATM) drummer Brad Wilk is probably enough of a preface to this New York City three-piece, but it’s only part of the story. Guitarist Edgey Pires and frontwoman Delila Paz met The Last Internationale last year at an Occupy-aligned protest rally, and before long they’d joined forces and made a fan out of Rage guitarist Tom Morello, who helped bring Wilk into the project. Fueled with the same kind of fervent energy that made RATM so explosive, The Last Internationale wears its political views on its sleeve. (The band’s debut, We Will Reign, kicks off with a track called “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Indian Blood,” for god’s sake.) Unlike Rage’s screaming war cries, though, The Last Internationale has found a honey-voiced firecracker in Paz, whose vocal deliveries masterfully straddle the line between a bellow and a scowl. (Think The Kills meets Joan Jett.) Suffice it to say, when a bluesy rhythm section and one of rock’s most stylistically adept percussive powerhouses back her, you’ve got the makings of great things. The band plays Velvet Jones on Tuesday, September 9, at 8 p.m. For info, call 965-8676 or visit COMING UP: Looking down the live music pike, on Wednesday, September 10, folk singer/songwriter Lily Kershaw plays SOhO Restaurant & Music Club with Bobby Bazini. Seattle orchestral pop act Heartwarmer plays the Biko Co-op Garage with Fake Sick on Monday, September 8. And on Saturday, August 30, Tyga, of “Rack City” fame, headlines the Earl Warren Showgrounds with DJ Hecktik and Yung Deem. Visit for tickets. ■





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august 28, 2014

Oct. . S.B. County Administration Bldg.,  E. Anapamu St., -. Coastal Collections – S.B. Printmakers Exhibit, through Oct. .  State St., -. Divine Inspiration Gallery of Fine Art – With Appreciation, through Aug. ; Samuel Smith, Sept.  - Nov. .  State St., -. Elverhøj Museum – Art from the Groves, through Sept. .  Elverhoy Wy., Solvang, -. Faulkner Gallery – Reflections of an Oil Spill:  Years of Art and Activism, through Aug. .  E. Anapamu St., -. Gallery  – Beth Taylor and other featured artists, through Aug. ; Carrie Givens, Jerry Martin: Pinturas De Baja, through Aug. . La Arcada,  State St., -. Gallery  – Asandra: Mixed Media Prints and Bruce Samia: Manipulated MAKING AN IMPRESSION: “Three Dancers in Yellow Photographic Prints, through Aug. . Skirts” by Edgar Degas is at the S.B. Museum of Art.  W. El Roblar Ave., Ojai, -. Gallery Los Olivos – B.J. Stapen and Carol Simon, through Aug. ; Larry R. Rankin: Bronze, Wood & Stone, Sept. -; art exhibits Belinda Hart, Sept.  - Oct. .  Grand Ave., Los Olivos, -. MUSEUMS The Good Life Craft Beer & Wine Cellar – Karpeles Manuscript Library and Lauren McFarland: Ranch Life on the Central Museum – KaSahi Studios: Photography of Coast, through Aug. .  Mission Dr., Lisa Marie Bolton, through Aug. ; Megan Solvang, -. Leal: Abstract Explosions, through Aug. ; Guadalupe-Nipomo Dunes Ctr. – Donald multiple permanent installations.  W. Quintana, through Sept. .  Guadalupe St., Anapamu St., -. Guadalupe, -. Lompoc Museum – Eric Morlan: Selected Harris and Fredda Meisel Gallery of Art – Works  -, through Sept. .  S. H Los Padres Watercolor Society, through Sept. . St., Lompoc, -.  De la Vina St., -. Rancho La Patera & Stow House – Hotel Indigo – The Vastness Is Bearable, Multiple permanent exhibits hosted by the through Dec. .  State St., -. Goleta Valley Historical Society.  N. Los Hospice of S.B. – Paula Re: crossings of my Carneros Rd., Goleta, -. mind, through Oct. .  Alameda Padre S.B. Historical Museum – Project Fiesta!, Serra, Ste. , -. through Sept. ; The Story of Santa Barbara, Jane Deering Gallery – The Flat File Project, permanent exhibition. Free admission. ongoing.  E. Canon Perdido St., -.  E. De la Guerra St., -. The Lark – Kevin Eddy, ongoing.  Anacapa S.B. Maritime Museum – Light at Point St., -. Conception: Prints by Hank Pitcher, through Los Olivos Café –Laurel Sherrie: Conversations Sept. .  Harbor Wy., #, -. with Nature, through Sept. ; Marilyn Benson: S.B. Museum of Art – Living in the Timeless: Images from Coast to Coast, Sept.  - Nov. . Drawings by Beatrice Wood, through Aug. ;  Grand Ave., Los Olivos, -. Daumier’s Salon: A Human Comedy, through Lucky Penny – Campbell Baker, ongoing. Oct. ; Degas to Chagall: Important Loans  Anacapa St., -. from the Armand Hammer Foundation and Marcia Burtt Studio – Anne Ward, and Erling the Collection of Michael Armand Hammer Sjovold: Old River, New Shore, through Oct. . and Martin Kersels’s Charm series, ongoing  Laguna St, -i. exhibitions.  State St., -. Montecito Aesthetic Institute – Spring into Ty Warner Sea Ctr. – Multiple permanent Summer, through Sept. .  Coast Village installations.  Stearns Wharf, -. Rd., Ste. H, Montecito, -. Westmont Ridley-Tree Museum of Art – Pacific Western Bank – Celebrating  Years x: Celebrating Five Years, through Sept. . of I Madonnari Posters, ongoing.  E. Figueroa  La Paz Rd., -. St., -. Wildling Museum – John Fery: Painting the Pacifica Graduate Institute – Mbuti: Wilderness, through Sept. ; student artists: Children of the Forest, through Sept. .  Visions of the Night Sky, through Sept. . Ladera Ln., -. -B Mission Dr., Solvang, -. Palm Loft Gallery – Make Hay While the Sun Shines, through Sept. .  Palm Ave., Loft GALLERIES A-, Carpinteria, -. Allan Hancock College Library – Porch – Lety Garcia, through Aug. .  Children’s book illustrations, ongoing. Santa Claus Ln., Carpinteria, -.  S. College Dr., Santa Maria, -. Reds Bin – Spirits, through Sept. .  Helena Architectural Foundation Gallery – Ave., -. Jeremy Harper: Sacred Places, through Aug. S.B. City Hall Gallery – Pursuit of Passion: .  E. Victoria St., -. Early Santa Barbara Women Artists, through Art from Scrap Gallery – To the Sea: Feb. , . De la Guerra Plaza, -. an unnatural journey, through Oct. . S.B. Tennis Club – Premier: Santa Barbara  E. Cota St., -. Visual Artists, through Sept. .  Foothill Rd., Artamo Gallery – Summer Mix, through -. Aug. .  W. Anapamu St., -. Sullivan Goss, An American Gallery – Bronfman Family Jewish Community Jon Francis: Let Icons Be Icons, Susan McDonCtr. – Voices, ongoing.  Chapala St., nell: Curiouser and Curiouser!, Ken Bortolazzo: -. Moving On, and Las Pinturas de la Fiesta, C Gallery – Reductions/Formations, through Aug. ; The Summer Impressionists, through Sept. .  Bell St., Los Alamos. , through Sept. ; Frank Kirk: The Secret -. World of Frank Kirk and Celebrating  Years Cancer Ctr. of S.B. – Art Heals, a permanent of Art, Sept.  - Nov. .  E. Anapamu St., exhibit.  Pueblo St., -. -. Carpinteria Arts Ctr. – Caminos , through Tamsen Gallery – R.W. Firestone, ongoing. Sept. .  Linden Ave., Carpinteria,  State St. , -. -. TVSB – Light, through Oct. .  S. Salinas Casa de la Guerra – Orpha Klinker and Bill Ave., -. Dewey: Landmarks of California, through Oct. Volentine Family Gallery – The Artwork of .  E. De la Guerra St., -. Ben O’Hara, through Oct. . Discovery Pavilion, Channing Peake Gallery – Impoverished S.B. Zoo,  Niños Dr., -. Vision: Abstraction to the Rescue, through wall space gallery – Joseph Donovan: Solace, through Aug. ; Bootsy Holler: Hanford Declas-

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AUG. 28 - SEPT. 4 sified, through Aug. . Ann Pallesen: A Walk in the Park, through Nov. . Daniel Grant: Sand People, through Sept. .  E. Yanonali St., C-, -.


Adama –  Chapala St., -. THU: Greg Harrison (pm) Blush Restaurant & Lounge –  State St., -. SUN: Chris Fossek (pm) The Brewhouse –  W. Montecito St., -. THU: The Shawn Peace Band (pm) FRI: One, Two, Tree (pm) SAT: Dylan Schmidt and The Rhythm Souls (pm) Carr Winery –  N. Salsipuedes St., -. FRI: Patina String Band (pm) Chumash Casino Resort –  E. Hwy. , Santa Ynez, () -. THU /: Jeffrey Osborne (pm) Cold Spring Tavern –  Stagecoach Rd., -. FRI: Do No Harm (-pm) SAT: Switchbak (-pm); Claude Hopper (-pm) SUN: Tom Ball and Kenny Sultan (:-pm); Low Down Dudes (:-:pm) MON: Tina Schlieske and the Graceland Exiles with Sister Laura (:-:pm) The Creekside –  Hollister Ave., -. FRI: The Mutineers, The Dead Volts, American Dirt (pm) SAT: The Wednesday Knights (pm) MON: Karaoke with Dyno Mike (pm) WED: Country Night (pm) Dargan’s –  E. Ortega St., -. SAT: Traditional Irish Music (:pm) TUE: Karaoke (pm) THU: David Courtenay & The Castawaves Unplugged (:pm) Endless Summer Bar/Café –  Harbor Wy., -. FRI: Acoustic guitar and vocals (:pm) EOS Lounge –  Anacapa St., -. THU: Huge Thursday with Mackie and Bix King FRI: Live Music (-pm); DNA Presents SAT: DJ Calvin and Kohjay WED: Salsa Night Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co. –  Anacapa St., -. FRI: Live Music (pm) SAT: The Caverns (-pm) Hoffmann Brat Haus –  State St., -. THU: Live Music Thursdays (pm) Indochine –  State St., -. TUE: Indie Night (pm) WED: Karaoke (:pm) The James Joyce –  State St., -. THU: Alastair Greene Band (pm) FRI: Kinsella Brothers Band (pm) SAT: Ulysses Jazz Band (:-:pm) SUN, MON: Karaoke (pm) TUE: Teresa Russell (pm) WED: Victor Vega and the Bomb (pm) La Cumbre Plaza–  S. Hope Ave., -. THU /:Jon Crosse & The Jazz All Stars (pm) Lobero Theatre –  E. Canon Perdido St., -. THU /: Marshall Crenshaw and The Bottle Rockets (pm) Moby Dick Restaurant –  Stearns Wharf, -. WED-SAT: Derroy (pm) SUN: Derroy (am) Monty’s –  Hollister Ave., Goleta, -. THU: Karaoke Night (pm) O’Malleys and the Study Hall –  State St., -. THU: College Night with DJ Gavin Old Town Tavern –  Orange Ave., Goleta, -. FRI, SAT, WED: Karaoke Night (:pm) Palapa Restaurant –  State St., -. FRI: Live Mariachi Music (:pm)

Plaza Playhouse Theater –  Carpinteria Ave., Carpinteria, -. SAT: Chris Pierce, Mia Dyson, B. Willing James (pm) Reds Tapas & Wine Bar –  Helena Ave., -. THU: Live Music (pm) Roundin’ Third –  Calle Real, -. THU, TUE: Locals Night (pm) S.B. Bowl –  N. Milpas St., -. SUN, MON: Jack Johnson (:pm) S.B. Maritime Museum –  Harbor Wy., #, -. SAT: Ukulele music and singing (-:pm) Sandbar –  State St., -. WED: Big Wednesday (pm) SOhO Restaurant & Music Club –  State St., -. FRI: Dan Perea, Lynette Gaona, Sol Tree, Hēlo (:pm) SAT: Scarlett Rabe (pm); Live Salsa Night (:pm) SUN: Songbook Series (pm) TUE: Shane Piasecki (pm) THU: Airto Moreira & Eyedentity (:pm) Statemynt –  State St., -. THU: DJ Akorn WED: Blues Night (pm) Tiburon Tavern –  State St., -. FRI: Karaoke Night (:pm) Velvet Jones –  State St., -. THU: Drag the River, The Dead Volts, Joe Ginsberg (pm) SAT: Cornerstone (pm) TUE: Punk Rock Bingo with Emmet Bentley (pm) WED: Problem with Jon Connor (pm) Whiskey Richard’s –  State St., -. MON: Open Mike Night (pm) WED: Punk on Vinyl (pm) Wildcat –  W. Ortega St., -. THU: DJs Hollywood and Patrick B SUN: Red Room with DJ Gavin Roy (pm) TUE: Local Band Night (pm) Zodo’s –  Calle Real, Goleta, -. THU: KjEE Thursday Night Strikes (:-:pm) MON: Service Industry Night (pm)

Theater Arlington Theatre – Rip Taylor.  State St., -. TUE: pm Bedford Winery – WINO Radio Dinner Show: Grape Balls of Fire.  Bell St., Los Alamos, -. SAT: :pm Chumash Casino Resort –  E. Hwy. , Santa Ynez, () -. THU /: Ron White ( and :pm) Circle Bar B Dinner Theatre – Enchanted April.  Refugio Rd., Goleta, -. FRI, SAT: pm SUN: pm Granada Theatre – Russell Peters.  State St., -. THU /: pm Lobero Theatre –  E. Canon Perdido St., -. WED: Christopher Titus: Next-Up Stand-Up (pm); SuperNaked (pm) The New Victoria Theatre – Hot Funny Femmes.  W Victoria St, -. THU /: : and :pm Ojai Ctr. for the Arts – Of Mice and Men.  S. Montgomery St., Ojai, -. FRI, SAT: pm SUN: pm Porter Theatre – The Cherry Orchard. Westmont Campus,  La Paz Rd., -. THU /: pm Rubicon Theatre – Conviction.  E. Main St., Ventura, -. WED: pm THU: pm Solvang Festival Theater –  nd St., Solvang, -. THU-SUN, WED-THU: The San Patricios (pm)

DANCE Center Stage Theater – The Actual Dance.  Paseo Nuevo, -. THU /: pm


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This is feel-good cinema to the max!”

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Peter Travers,

Jean Reno Michaël Youn



PLAZA DE ORO Wednesdays


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September 10 - THE KILL TEAM (NR) INDEPENDENT - 8/28 September 17 - STARRED UP (NR) 1x3 September 24 - BORN TO FLY: (NR)



A film by Daniel Cohen

Eileen Colin Marcia Atkins Firth Gay Harden Hamish Simon Emma Jacki Linklater McBurney Stone Weaver






“The summer’s mosT beguiling romanTic ic comedy.”


-Peter Travers, rolling sTone

Rodrigo Perez, INDIEWIRE

Magic InThe Moonlight Written and Directed by Woody

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H CANTINFLAS B 1:45, 4:50, 7:30 WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL B 2:15, 5:05, 7:45



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augusT 28, 2014



MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT C Fri to Mon: 2:20, 5:00, 7:40; Tue to Thu: 5:00, 7:40


H THE NOVEMBER MAN E Fri to Mon: 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:40; Tue to Thu: 2:30, 5:10, 7:50 WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL B Fri to Mon: 12:50, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10; Tue & Wed: 2:20, 4:40, 7:20; Thu: 2:20, 4:40 THE GIVER C Fri to Mon: 2:00, 4:25, 6:50, 9:20; Tue to Thu: 2:10, 5:00, 7:30 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY C Fri to Mon: 1:00, 3:50, 6:40, 9:30; Tue to Thu: 2:00, 4:50, 7:40





H AS ABOVE, SO BELOW E 1:30, 4:50, 7:20, 10:10 H THE NOVEMBER MAN E 2:00, 4:40, 7:30, 10:00 FRANK MILLER’S SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR E 2:40, 5:20, 7:50, 10:20

IF I STAY C Fri to Mon: 1:10, 3:50, 6:40, 9:30; Tue to Thu: 1:40, 5:20, 7:40 THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY B Fri to Mon: 12:30, 3:20, 6:20, 9:10; Tue to Thu: 1:30, 4:40, 7:30

BOYHOOD E Fri to Mon: 12:50, 4:20, 8:00; IF I STAY C 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:35 Tue to Thu: 1:50, 4:20, 8:00 LET’S BE COPS E 2:30, 5:10, 7:40, 10:15 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY C 1:50, 4:10, 7:10, 9:45


A MOST WANTED MAN E Fri to Mon: 12:40, 3:35, 6:30, 9:20; Tue to Thu: 2:00, 4:50, 7:50



H AS ABOVE, SO BELOW E Fri to Mon: 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30; LUCY E Fri to Mon: 2:45, 5:10, 7:30; Tue to Thu: 2:40, 5:10, 7:40 Wed & Thu: 2:45, 5:10, 7:30 H CANTINFLAS B


CHEF E Fri to Tue: 2:30, 5:00; Wed: 2:30 PM; Thu: 2:30, 5:00 H FRANK E Wed: 5:00, 7:30 CALVARY E 7:45 PM

Fri to Mon: 1:30, 4:10, 6:40, 9:10; Tue to Thu: 2:30, 5:00, 7:30 FRANK MILLER’S SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR E Fri to Mon: 2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40; Tue to Thu: 3:00, 5:30, 8:00 LET’S BE COPS E Fri to Mon: 1:45, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20; Tue to Thu: 2:50, 5:20, 7:50

TEENAGE MUTANT LE CHEF C NINJA TURTLES C Fri to Tue: 2:45, 5:15, 7:30; Wed: 2:45, Fri to Mon: 1:20, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00; H THE IDENTICAL B Thu: 7:20 PM 5:15; Thu: 2:45, 5:15, 7:30 Tue to Thu: 2:20, 4:50, 7:20 CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE! 877-789-MOVIE




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If I Stay. Chloë Grace Moretz, Jamie Blackley, and Mireille Enos star in a film written by Shauna Cross, based on the novel by Gayle Forman, and directed by R.J. Cutler.

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eave it to pop sociologists and psychologists to figure out what’s with all the teenage-girl death-andromance movies. It began with Juliet, then Twilight, moved into The Hunger Games, and it now comes to the suburbs in The Fault in Our Stars and this film. Maybe If I Stay hangs on a schlocky premise, but it’s clearly the best of the tear-jerking lot — barring Shakespeare, of course. For starters, it has Chloë Grace Moretz, who has double identification as child star and violent superheroine (Kick-Ass), lending her an automatic layer of cool. That unsentimental education gets a workout here, where she plays Mia, a high school cellist with punk-rock parents. She seems blasé until she meets Adam (Jamie Blackley), the new hunk in school who is neither a vampire nor a dying ex-jock, but instead a brooding rock star, which offers roughly the same cachet. Her parents like him, too — adding a new twist in this genre. The death part comes when Mia and her family go out on a drive. It’s enough to say that the film is told in flashbacks and the narrator becomes a disembodied soul (she’s MIA) who can flit through time and space. The film avoids the New Age or even the pseudo-religious trappings, except for a puzzling white light that appears at the end of a hospital corridor. What is cosmic about the movie, though, is the photography. Set in Oregon but shot in Canada, If I Stay


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HALLWAY TO HEAVEN? Chloë Grace Moretz plays a comatose teen having an out-of-body experience in If I Stay.

consistently takes pains to make beautiful scenery double as emotional metaphor. It’s pretty to look at even if a lot of it is set inside a hospital. The film has a nice fatalistic philosophy and fine acting, too — especially Stacy Keach as the teary grandpa and Mireille Enos as Mia’s wise, worldly mom. This is a teen film that dares to suggest that we have no warranty on a happy life. Though sadly, the film’s conclusion seems to hinge on college admission as life redemption. But, hey, at least it’s not vampire love. ■



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Le Chef. Jean Reno, Michaël Youn, and Raphaëlle Agogué star in a film written by Daniel Cohen and Olivier Dazat and directed by Cohen.

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f there was any doubt that the restaurant world was trending, we offer up Le Chef. No, this is not a French take on Jon Favreau’s middling summer indie hit Chef, nor is it in any way related to recent big-ish box-office release, The Hundred-Foot Journey. In fact, this little slice of big-screen food porn actually predates them both. Daniel Cohen’s 2012 submission into the world of munchyinducing movie-theater fare begins with the mournful story of Jacky Bonnot (Michaël Youn), a middle-aged chef with great vision and a fighting spirit that keeps getting him booted out of the kitchen. Stuck between jobs with a baby on the way, Jacky takes up work as a painter at a sprawling estate, ends up eavesdropping on the kitchen staff, and quickly worms his way into their practice as a sort of unlikely guru from the streets. Shortly thereafter, Jacky gets brought inside to breathe new life into the establishment’s aging and uninspired celebrity chef Alexandre Lagarde (Jean Reno). If this all sounds more than a little familiar, you’ve probably already made the connection between Le Chef and Disney’s stellar animated film Ratatouille, which Cohen liberally borrows from throughout this script. But irksome as the thievery seems at Le Chef’s start, it quickly takes a backseat to the bigger, more glaring problems herein. For starters,Youn’s Jacky spends the majority of the film wavering between slightly pathetic and thoroughly unlovable. Rather than humble himself when presented


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TOO MANY COOKS: Michaël Youn (left) and Jean Reno play at-odds culinarians in Le Chef.

with the opportunity of a lifetime, he asserts himself in a way that seems both preposterous and utterly off-putting. By the time Legarde and Jacky finally figure out how they can help each other, it’s hard to really root for the pair. And when they go head-to-head with a hotshot molecular gastronomy guru, it quickly becomes a case of too many egos in the kitchen. Perhaps all this petty drama and stovetop feather-ruffling could have worked if Le Chef took itself a little more seriously, but mixing all these complicated and troublesome characters into a script that reads as “lighthearted” and “vaguely comedic” just further confuses the thing. If variety is the spice of life, perhaps it’s time we ease off the ■ foodie flicks for a bit. august 28, 2014



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HEAD TRIP: Michael Fassbender stars as the titular papier-mâché-headed art rocker in Frank, screening Wednesday, September 3, at Plaza de Oro.


No Host Bar



Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (102 mins.;


Pick up your tickets at or call 805-963-3564 cruises Condor Express / / Santa Barbara Harbor

Le Chef (84 mins.; PG-13: brief strong language)

Reviewed on page 55.

✯ Frank

Plaza de Oro

(95 mins.; R: language, some sexual



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Domhnall (Bill Weasley) Gleeson stars in what is probably the best-cast rock ’n’ roll art film since Velvet Goldmine or I’m Not There. Unlike those two baroque outings, however, this one lives up to its hipster star power, starting with the principles. Gleeson plays an ordinary English kid obsessed with songwriting but short on actual talent. He’s accidentally thrown together with an avant-garde rock outfit fronted by a man calling himself Frank (Michael Fassbender!) who always wears a giant papier-mâché head. That’s right: One of the handsomest leading men available is reduced to an enigmatic mask. His female counterpart, the hardedged Clara (Maggie Gyllenhaal), plays the theremin, and her solo incantation of “On Top of Old Smoky” is easily the movie’s weirdest cool moment. By now you’ve probably guessed that Frank’s true glory is its unpredictability — it’s a cliché-free zone where funny and tragic keep changing places. There’s also a remarkable distance between the revelations of the story and anything like a moralizing voice. We’re sure when we see Jon (Gleeson) initially rejected by his demented bandmates, it’s their problem. By the end, it’s more difficult to decide who is right and who is wrong. Not to be missed, this film is full of cult riches but feels like a weird documentary. The indie-rock world, from little clubs to dazed-out moments in Austin’s South by Southwest, is preserved here by this fictional band. It’s the bittersweet monument that contemporary rock deserves. (DJP)

Wed., Sept. 3, 5 and 7:30pm, Plaza de Oro

✯ If I Stay

(106 mins.; PG-13: thematic elements, some sexual material)

Reviewed on page 55.

Camino Real/Paseo Nuevo



august 28, 2014

Edited by Aly Comingore

The following films are playing in Santa Barbara FRIDAY, AUGUST 29, THROUGH THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 4. Descriptions followed by initials — DJP (D.J. Palladino) and KS (Kit Steinkellner) — have been taken from our critics’ reviews, which can be read in full at The symbol ✯ indicates the film is recommended.

R: strong brutal bloody violence, grisly images, some strong sexual content, nudity)

Real noir, even gothic strains like Mickey Spillane used to write, only works when it overwhelms. Protagonists and audiences need to be lured by a dame or a fortune into a world where best efforts can’t help. It’s the reason that people complain that Raymond Chandler mysteries don’t actually make sense. The main topic is the dizzying perplexities of the amoral new American city. The shadows, blood, and rain are just there to complete the mood. We like these stories because they make us feel tough (though safe) while taking the urban tour. Frank Miller is a parodist. Everything he’s ever touched, from comic-book Daredevil to Batman (The Dark Knight Returns) and now this film, based on his own comic-book mean-street chronicles, comes out in exaggerated splendors. But at the same time, it’s all on the surface. He isn’t really good at constructing narrative labyrinths — he just takes the darkness and the amorality out further than it needs to go. We don’t get lost in Miller machinations; we just wonder at the amount of it he’s piling on. This is a gorgeous, decadent film, especially seen in 3d. The movie takes big dramatic visual shifts and contains endless slithering details. It’s film as storyboard. Miller’s graphic side brilliantly exploits black-on-black-on-white and then throws in color for a splash of shock. But this story is so simplistic that there’s nothing for our minds to get lost in. It’s a simple revenge story that ends in a simple revenge, even with the stupid flourishes like Joseph GordonLevitt’s pointless gambling story. It just builds to a crescendo and lets you down. Even with Miller’s considerable urge to inflate his stories with gratuitous nudity and graphic slashes, it just isn’t complex enough to overwhelm. We don’t feel tough watching this silly sequel; we just feel taken. (DJP) Camino Real/Fiesta 5

up falling short of its source material. (KS)


Metro 4

As Above, So Below (93 mins.; R: bloody violence, terror, language throughout)

A team of explorers venture into the catacombs below Paris and discover a deep, dark secret inside the city.

Camino Real/Fiesta 5

Cantinflas (106 mins.; PG: thematic elements, language, smoking, some suggestive material) Sebastian del Amo’s historical biography tells the story of Mexico’s most-loved comedy star and how he went from small theaters to the biggest stages in Hollywood. Fairview/Fiesta 5 The Identical (107 mins.; PG: thematic material, smoking)

A musical family traverses the industry, starting in the doo-wop scene of the 1950s through the 1970s glam-rock era.

Metro 4 (Opens Thu., Sept. 4)

The November Man (108 mins.; R: strong violence including a sexual assault, language, sexuality, nudity, brief drug use) A former CIA agent (Pierce Brosnan) is brought back from retirement and pitted against his former pupil in a deadly case involving the Russian president-elect.

Camino Real/Metro 4

✯ Guardians of the Galaxy

(121 mins.; PG-13: intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some language)

Somewhere in deep space, an American pilot finds himself the object of a manhunt after he steals an orb coveted by a villainous extraterrestrial. Mostly, it’s a parade of outer-space spectacles, but the story also includes nonstop action and jokes that transplant American pop culture into deep space. (DJP)

Camino Real (2D)/Metro 4 (2D)

The Hundred-Foot Journey (122 mins.; PG: thematic elements, some violence, language, brief sensuality)

An Indian family moves to France and opens a café across the street from a Michelin-starred French restaurant. Journey shies away from high stakes and almost always chooses pleasant over painful, making for a film that isn’t as good as it should have been. (KS)

Fairview/Paseo Nuevo

Let’s Be Cops (104 mins.; R: language including sexual references, some graphic nudity, violence, drug use)

Two friends dress up like police officers and get dragged into a real-world web of mobsters and corrupt law enforcement.

Camino Real/Fiesta 5

SCREENING ✯ Edge of Tomorrow (113 mins.; PG-13: intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, brief language, suggestive material) The most interesting aspect of Edge is its implicit relationship to gaming; there are repeated battles, ascending worlds, and antiseptic violence. It seems to signal video games as the new junk-movie-aesthetic principle. (DJP)

Sat., Aug. 30, 8:15pm, Anisq’Oyo’ Park, Embarcadero del Norte

Lucy (90 mins.; R: strong violence, disturbing images, sexuality)

Scarlett Johansson stars as a woman who turns on her captors to become a highly evolved killing machine. Luc Besson’s first head film does more than Timothy Leary ever could to make massive drug ingestion seem like a good life plan — and the visuals could hardly have been more spectacular. (DJP) Arlington Magic in the Moonlight (97 mins.;

NOW SHOWING ✯ Boyhood (165 mins.; R: language including sexual references, teen drug and alcohol use) Richard Linklater writes and directs this story about a young boy named Mason as he grows from age 5 to 18. Here’s a sound not made in America enough: existence discussed with a reasoning skeptical voice. Linklater’s latest is moving but not melodramatic. (DJP) Paseo Nuevo

✯ Calvary

(100 mins.; R: sexual references, language, brief strong violence, some drug use)

An amicable priest must battle the darkness after his life is threatened during a confession. Calvary is ostensibly a whois-gonna-do-it mystery, but the themes become more compelling as each new quirky villager is introduced, providing new perspectives on sin, insensitivity, and the almost-forgotten virtue of forgiveness. (DJP) Plaza de Oro

✯ Chef

(115 mins.; R: language, some suggestive references)

Jon (Swingers) Favreau writes, directs, and stars in this story about a chef who loses his restaurant job and starts up a food truck as a way to reunite his estranged family. The film wears its soulful foodiness on its greasy apron; it’s a perfectly delicious, sometimes coarse, and often fine comedy that will leave you hungry at the end. (DJP) Plaza de Oro The Giver (94 mins.; PG-13: mature thematic images, some sci-fi action violence)

In a utopian community, one young boy is chosen to learn about the pain and suffering of the real world. Based on the novel by Lois Lowry, The Giver attempts to follow in the footsteps of dystopian blockbusters like The Hunger Games but ends

PG-13: a brief suggestive comment, smoking throughout)

Woody Allen writes and directs this romantic comedy about an Englishman (Colin Firth) hired to help unmask a possible swindle. Most of the first half of this film is about as bad as Woody Allen ever gets when he strikes out. But in the second half, something a bit magical happens. (DJP) Riviera

✯ A Most Wanted Man



FOR LIVE PLAY 9/21 - 9/28/2014

(121 mins.; R:


A Chechen Muslim (Philip Seymour Hoffman) illegally immigrates to Hamburg, where he is caught in the middle of the war on terror. Hoffman is a shining star here, elevating the film, but he’s not the only one; all the women are terrific, too. But it’s Hoffman everybody wants to see more of, a most wanted man who never can surprise us anymore. (DJP)




Paseo Nuevo

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (101 mins.; PG-13: sci-fi action violence)

Megan Fox and Will Arnett star in this live-action reboot of the 1980s cartoon about a troupe of martial-arts-practicing, pizza-loving, crime-fighting New York City turtles. Not enough of this Turtles feels new, and too many pieces of this puzzle have been stolen from much better action films. (DJP) Fiesta 5 (2D)



When the Game Stands Tall (115 mins.; PG: thematic material, a scene of violence, brief smoking) Jim Caviezel stars in this true-life tale about legendary high school football coach Bob Ladouceur, who took the De La Salle High Spartans to a record-breaking winning streak in the early 1980s.

Fairview/Metro 4 august 28, 2014



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augusT 28, 2014

a&e | ROB BREZSNY’S FREE WILL ASTROLOGY WEEK OF AUGUST  ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): In the coming weeks, it will be important for you to bestow blessings and disseminate gifts and dole out helpful feedback. Maybe you already do a pretty good job at all that, but I urge you to go even further. Through acts of will and surges of compassion, you can and should raise your levels of generosity. Why? Your allies and loved ones need more from you than usual. They have pressing issues that you have special power to address. Moreover, boosting your largesse will heal a little glitch in your mental health. It’s just what the soul doctor ordered.

TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20): The Icelandic word hoppípolla means “jumping into puddles.” I’d love to make that one of your themes in the coming weeks. It would be in sweet accordance with the astrological omens. You are overdue for an extended reign of freelance play . . . for a time of high amusement mixed with deep fun and a wandering imagination. See if you can arrange to not only leap into the mud but also roll down a hill and kiss the sky and sing hymns to the sun. For extra credit, consider adding the Bantu term mbuki-mvuki to your repertoire. It refers to the act of stripping off your clothes and dancing with crazy joy.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): During the course of its life, an oyster may change genders numerous times. Back and forth it goes, from male to female and vice versa, always ready to switch. I’m nominating this ambisexual creature to be your power animal in the coming weeks. There has rarely been a better time than now to experiment with the pleasures of gender fluidity. I invite you to tap into the increased resilience and sexy wisdom that could come by expanding your sense of identity in this way.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): I’m getting the sense that in the coming days you will be more casual and nonchalant than usual. More jaunty and unflappable. You may not be outright

irresponsible, but neither will you be hyper-focused on being ultra-responsible. I suspect you may even opt not to be buttoned and zippered all the way to the top. It’s also possible you will be willing to let a sly secret or two slip out and allow one of your interesting eccentricities to shine. I think this is mostly fine. My only advice is to tilt in the direction of being carefree rather than careless.

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22): In his novel Les Misérables, French author Victor Hugo chose to write a convoluted sentence that was 823 words long. American novelist William Faulkner outdid him, though. In his book Absalom, Absalom!, he crafted a single rambling, labyrinthine sentence crammed with 1,287 words. These people should not be your role models in the coming weeks, Leo. To keep rolling in the direction of your best possible destiny, you should be concise and precise. Straightforward simplicity will work better for you than meandering complexity. There’s no need to rush, though. Take your time. Trust the rhythm that keeps you poised and purposeful.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): As you know, real confidence has no bluster or bombast. It’s not rooted in a desire to seem better than everyone else, and it’s not driven by a fear of appearing weak. Real confidence settles in when you have a clear vision of exactly what you need to do. Real confidence blooms as you wield the skills and power you have built through your hard work and discipline. And as I think you already sense, Virgo, the time has come for you to claim a generous new share of real confidence. You are ready to be a bolder and crisper version of yourself.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): As I understand your situation, Libra, you have played by the rules; you have been sincere and well-meaning; you have pressed for a solution that was fair and just. But that hasn’t been enough. So now, as long as you stay committed to creating a righteous outcome, you are authorized to invoke this declaration, originally uttered by the ancient Roman poet Virgil: “If I am unable

to make the gods above relent, I shall move hell.” Here’s an alternate translation of the original Latin text: “If heaven I cannot bend, then hell I will stir.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with,” said the misanthropic comedian W. C. Fields. I know it’s weird to hear those words coming from a professional optimist like me, but just this once I recommend that you follow Fields’s advice. In the near future, you should be as serious and sober and unamusable as you have ever been. You’ve got demanding work to attend to; knotty riddles to solve; complex situations to untangle. So frown strong, Scorpio. Keep an extra sour expression plastered on your face. Smiling would only distract you from the dogged effort you must summon. Unless, of course, you know for a fact that you actually get smarter and more creative when you laugh a lot. In which case, ignore everything I said. Instead, be a juggernaut of cheerful problem-solving.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972) was a renowned African-American gospel singer who lent her talents to the civil rights movement. Martin Luther King Jr. often called on her to be an opening act for his speeches. She was there on the podium with him on August 28, 1963, in Washington, D.C., when he delivered his famous “I Have a Dream” speech. In fact, it was her influence that prompted him to depart from his prepared notes and improvise the stirring climax.“Tell them about the dream, Martin,” she politely heckled. And he did just that. Who’s your equivalent of Mahalia Jackson, Sagittarius? Whose spur would you welcome? Who might interrupt you at just the right time? Seek out influences that will push you to reach higher.

Columbus) was funded by the government of Spain, Giovanni de Verrazzano by France, and Giovanni Caboto (now known as John Cabot) by England. I see a lesson here for you, Capricorn. To flourish in the coming months, you don’t necessarily need to be supported or sponsored by what you imagine are your natural allies. You may get further by seeking the help of sources that are not the obvious choices.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Walter Kaufman had a major role in clarifying the meaning and importance of Friedrich Nietzsche. His English translations of the German philosopher’s books are benchmarks, as are his analyses of the man’s ideas. And yet Kaufman was not a cheerleader. He regarded Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra as brilliant and triumphant but also verbose and melodramatic: a “profusion of sapphires in the mud.” I love that phrase, Aquarius, and maybe you will, too, as you navigate your way through the coming weeks. Don’t just automatically avoid the mud, because that’s probably where you will find the sapphires.

PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): I’m not tolerant of greed. Acquisitiveness bothers me. Insatiableness disgusts me. I am all in favor of people having passionate yearnings but am repelled when their passionate yearnings spill over into egomaniacal avarice. As you can imagine, then, I don’t counsel anyone to be piggishly self-indulgent. Never ever. Having said that, though, I advise you to be zealous in asking for what you want in the coming weeks. It will be surprisingly healing for both you and your loved ones if you become aggressive in identifying what you need and then going after it. I’m confident, in fact, that it’s the wisest thing for you to do.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): When Europeans first explored the New World, ships captained by Italians led the way. But none of them sailed Italian ships or represented Italian cities. Cristoforo Colombo (today known as Christopher

Go to to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at --- or ---.


Homework: Imagine it’s 40 years from now and you’re telling God the worst things and best things you ever did. What would they be? Testify at

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august 28, 2014



DINING GUIDE The Independent’s Dining Guide is a paid advertisement and is provided as a service to our readers. Restaurants are listed according to type of food served. Bon appétit! AVERAGE PRICE PER MEAL $  Up to $10 $$  $11-$15 $$$  $16-$25 $$$$  $26-Up

To advertise in   the Dining Guide, call 965-5208.

American BEACHBREAK CAFE, 324 State St, 962‑2889. $ Open 7a‑2:30p 7 days a week. Covered outdoor patio on State. Great Breakfast & Lunch.



JACK’S BISTRO & “FAMOUS BAGELS” 53 South Milpas (In Trader Joe’s Plaza) 564‑4331; 5050 Carpinteria Ave, Carpinteria 566‑1558. $ Extensive menu, beer & wine, on site catering ‑Call Justen Alfama 805‑566‑1558 x4 Voted BEST BAGELS 16 years in a row!


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august 28, 2014

Cajun/Creole THE PALACE Grill, 8 E. Cota St., 963‑5000. $$$. Open 7 days, Lunch 11:30a‑3p, Dinner 5:30p, V MC AE. Contemporary American grill w/ a lively, high‑energy atmosphere & fun, spontaneous events. Featuring fine grilled steaks, fresh seafood, delicious pastas, select American Regional specialties, like Blackened Crawfish‑stuffed Filet Mignon, Louisiana Bread Pudding Souffle. Cajun Martinis, unique beers & well selected wine list. Lunch starts early enough for a late breakfast & ends late enough for an early supper. Voted “Best Team Service” since 1988. Rave reviews in Gourmet Magazine, Gault‑Millau Travel Guide, Zagat & Sunset Magazine.



OPAL RESTAURANT & Bar 1325 State St. 966‑9676 $$.Open M‑S 11:30a & 7 nights 5p. V MC AE Local’s Favorite, Eclectic California Cuisine fuses creative influences from around the world with American Regional touches: Chile‑Crusted Filet Mignon to Pan‑Seared Fresh Fish & Seafood, Homemade Pastas, Gourmet Pizzas, Fresh baked Breads, Deliciously Imaginative Salads & Homemade Desserts. OPAL radi‑ ates a friendly, warm atmosphere graced by our fun efficient Service, Full bar, Martinis, Wine Spectator award‑winning wine list, private room. Lunches are affordable and equally delicious.

PACIFIC CREPES 705 Anacapa St. 882‑1123.OPEN Tues‑Fri 10a‑3p & 5:30p‑9p, Sat 9a‑9p, Sun 9a‑3p From the flags of Bretagne & France to the “Au revoir, a bientot”; experi‑ ence an authentic French creperie. Delicious crepes, salads & soups for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Tasty Crepe Suzette or crepe flambee des‑ serts. Specials incl. starter, entree & dessert. Homemade with the best fresh products. Relax, enjoy the ambience, the food & parler fran‑ cais! Bon Appetit!

Chinese YEN CHING 2840 De La Vina St. 682‑7191 7 days/wk M‑Sun 11a‑9p, ALL YOU CAN EAT Buffet: Lunch M‑F 11‑2 Sat & Sun Lunch 11‑2:30, Dinner Buffet 5:10‑8:30 incl all you can eat steak, shrimp & crab legs‑ Discounts for kids. Owner /Chef Joe Tzeng‑ Master Chef 25+yrs serving traditional Mandarin & Szechuan delicacies. All day take out‑ FREE delivery after 5pm

Coffee Houses SB COFFEE Roasting Company 321 Motor Way SB 962‑5213– NOW WITH FREE WI‑FI! Santa Barbara’s premiere coffee roasting company since 1989. Come in for the fresh‑ est most delicious cup of coffee ever and watch us roast the best coffee in town at our historic Old Town location ‑ Corner of State & Gutierrez. Gift baskets, mail order & corporate gifts avail.

Ethiopian AUTHENTIC ETHIOPIAN CUISINE Featured at Petit Valentien Restaurant 1114 State St. #14, 805‑966‑0222. Open Sat‑Sun Lunch ONLY 11am‑2: 30pm. Serkaddis Alemu offers in ever changing menu with choices of vegitarian, vegan, and meat options. Catering Avaliable for parties of up to 40 people.

PETIT VALENTIEN, 1114 STATE ST. #14, 805‑966‑0222. Open M‑F 11:30‑3pm (lunch). M‑Sat 5pm‑Close (dinner). Sun $24 four course prefix dinner. In La Arcada Plaza, Chef Robert Dixon presents classic French comfort food at affordable cost in this cozy gem of a restaurant. Petit Valentien offers a wide array of meat and seafood entrees along with exten‑ sive small plates and a wine list specializing in amazing quality at arguably the best price in town. A warm romantic atmosphere makes the perfect date spot. Comfortable locale for dinner parties, or even just a relaxing glass of wine. Reservations are recommended.

Indian FLAVOR OF INDIA 3026 State 682‑6561 $$ www.flavorofindiasb. com VOTED BEST 17yrs. Finest, most authentic Indian cuisine is affordable too! All You Can Eat Lunch Buffet $8.95 M‑S dinner combos $9.95+ Specials: Tandoori‑ Mixed or Fish, Chicken Tikka Masala, Shrimp Bhuna. Also: meat, curries & vegetarian.Wine & Beer. Take out. 20yrs of Excellence! INDIA HOUSE, 418 State St. Next to 99 Cent Store 805.962.5070. 7 days 11:30a‑ 3:30p ALL YOU CAN EAT Lunch Buffet $8.95. Dinner 5p‑9p. Tandori & North Indian Muglai specialties. World Class Indian Chefs at your service! Traditional floor seating. Indian & Draft Beers, Local Wines.


DARGAN’S IRISH Pub & Restaurant, 18 E. Ortega St. (next to lot 10) SB, 568‑0702. $$. Open 7 days 11:30a‑Close (Food ‘til 10p, 11p on Sat/Sun). AE MC V Disc. Authentic Irish food & atmosphere in downtown SB. Specialties from Ireland include Seafood & Meat dishes. Informal, relaxed pub‑style atmosphere. Live music Thursday nights. Children welcome. Avail. for private parties. Pool & Darts.

NATURAL CAFE, 508 State St., 5 blocks from beach. 962‑9494 Goleta‑ 5892 Hollister 692‑2363. 361 Hitchcock Way 563‑1163 $. Open for lunch & dinner 7 days. A local favorite for dinner. Voted “Best Lunch in Santa Barbara” “Best Health Food Restaurant” “Best Veggie Burger” “Best Sidewalk Cafe Patio” “Best Fish Taco” all in the Independent Reader’s Poll. Daily Specials, Char‑Broiled Chicken, Fresh Fish, Homemade Soups, Hearty Salads, Healthy Sandwiches, Juice Bar, Microbrews, Local Wines, and the Best Patio on State St. 9 locations serving the Central Coast.

Japanese ICHIBAN JAPANESE Restaurant/ Sushi Bar, 1812 Cliff Dr., 805‑564‑7653. Mon‑Sat Lunch 11:30‑2:30. Dinner 7 days a week, 5‑10pm. Lunch Specials, Bendo boxes. Full sushi bar, tatami seats. Fresh Fish delivered all week. KYOTO, 3232 State St, 687‑1252.$$. Open 7days M‑F 11:30a‑2p; Sat Noon‑2:30p Lunch; Sun‑Thur 5‑10p Dinner, Fri‑Sat 5p‑10:30p.Complete Sushi Bar. Steak & Seafood Specials! Sashimi, Teriyaki, original Japanese appe‑ tizers & Combination Boat Dinner. SB’s only TATAMI Rooms reserva‑ tions suggested. Beer, Wine & Sake. Take Out. Birthday customers get FREE tempura ice cream & photo on our website!

Mexican PALAPA 4123 State St. 683‑3074 $$ BREAKFAST 7am daily. Big Breakfast burritos, machaca, cho‑ rizo & eggs, chiliquiles, Organic mexican coffee & Fresh squeezed OJ, pancakes, omelets & lunch spe‑ cials. Fresh seafood dinners.

SOJOURNER CAFÉ, 134 E. Canon Perdido 965‑7922. Open 11‑11 Th‑Sat; 11a‑10:30p Sun‑Wed. SB’s natural foods landmark since 1978 Daily soups & chef’s specials, hearty stews, fresh local fish, organic chicken dishes,salads & sandwiches & award winning dessert . Espresso bar, beer, wine, smoothies, shakes & fresh juices


RODNEY’S Grill, 633 East Cabrillo Boulevard at The Fess Parker – A Doubletree by Hilton Resort 805‑564‑4333. Serving 5pm – 10pm Tuesday through Saturday. Rodney’s Grill Menu is Fresh and New. Featuring all natural hor‑ mone‑free beef and fresh seafood, appetizers, and incredible desserts. The place to enjoy dinner with fam‑ ily and friends by the beach. Private Dining Room for 30. Full cocktail bar with specialty cocktails. Wine cellar with Santa Barbara County & California best vintages by‑the‑glass

Thai YOUR PLACE Restaurant, 22 N. Milpas St., 966‑5151, 965‑9397. $$. Open Mon 4‑9:45pm Tues‑Thurs & Sun 11: 30a‑9:45p, Fri/Sat 11:30a‑10:30p. V MC AE. Your Place ‑ The One & Only. Voted “BEST THAI FOOD” for 26 years by Independent and The Weekly readers, making us a Living Legend! Lunch & din‑ ner specials daily. Fresh seafood & tasty vegetarian dishes. Santa Barbara Restaurant Guide selected us as the Best Thai Restaurant for exceptional dining reflected by food quality, service & ambiance.

HOLDREN’S 512 State St. 965‑3363 Lunch & Dinner Daily. Featuring $20 Prime Rib Wednesdays‑ USDA 12 oz Prime MidWestern corn‑fed beef char‑broiled over mesquite; or try from our selections of the freshest seafood. We offer extensive wine & martini lists & look forward to mak‑ ing your dining experience superb! Reservations avail.

Grand Opening!


Café 154 at Foothill September 2nd!

Artisan sandwiches Fresh bistro salads Refreshing smoothies

Espresso drinks & coffee Selection of fine teas Blended drinks Beverages

Comfortable Indoor Seating

Spacious Complementary Outdoor WiFi Patio Access

Takeout orders welcome

Call (805) 895-3520 Mon – Thurs, 6:30 am – 6:00 pm • Friday, 6:30 am – 5:00 pm 4151 Foothill Road (at the corner of Route 154)

WINE GUIDE Wine Country Tours

Wine Shop/Bar

SPENCER’S LIMOUSINE & Tours, 884‑9700 Thank You SB, Voted BEST 18yrs! Specializing in wine tours of all Central Cal Wineries. Gourmet picnic lunch or fine restaurants avail TCP16297 805‑884‑9700

RENEGADE WINES: 417 Santa Barbara St. Ste A‑6, 805‑568‑1961. Tues‑Fri 11a‑6p, Sat. 12‑6p. Sun‑Mon by appointment. SB’s oldest wine shop, over 23 years same location. We are Santa Barbara’s premier wine retailer, offering a wide variety of local and imported wines. Our diverse assortment of wine comes from the world’s finest vineyards with pric‑ es starting around $9. View our full inventory @ www.renegadewines. com. We store your wine. 3000sq feet of temp. controlled wine lock‑ ers; 8 case lockers‑300 case rooms. Off‑street parking. 2 blocks from State St. (2nd driveway @ 126 E. Haley) Monthly tastings & private tastings available. We ship wine. Keep in touch: Facebook, Google+, Twitter

Wine of the Week Bee D’Vine Brut Honey Wine: If someone handed you this excellently intriguing honey wine and told you it was made from an obscure Italian white grape varietal, you’d probably believe them. Unlike heady mead or cloyingly sweet concoctions made with honey, this straw‑colored beverage — sourced in 2013 from orange blossom honey in Yolo, Solano, and Tulare counties and aged for 10 months in barrel — is just like a dry wine without the tannins, offering the petrol characters of riesling, the brisk grassiness of sauvignon blanc, and the warmth of chardonnay. It’s nutty nose is simply sexy, and it’s flavors are bright and light. There’s also a slightly sweeter but equally well‑made demi sec version as well as the accompanying book about honey wine history, which harkens back to old Ethiopia. See

Wineries/ Tasting Rooms SANTA BARBARA Winery, 202 Anacapa St. 963‑3633. Open Sun‑Thurs 10a‑6p & Fri‑Sat 10a ‑ 7p, small charge for extensive tasting list. 2 blocks from both State St & the beach. This venerable winery is the county’s old‑ est‑ est.1962, and offers many inter‑ nationally acclaimed wines from their Lafond Vineyard in the Santa Rita Hills. Try some of Winemaker Bruce McGuire’s small production bottling


We are located on the first floor of the new Sansum Clinic Medical and Surgical Center, Building A.

WEEKLY SPECIALS Swordfish Steaks — $11.95 lb Local Hope Ranch Mussels — $3.95 lb Calamari Salad —$9.95 lb

With this coupon. Expires 9/3/14.

10% OFF

excluding specials IN STORE ONLY

117 Harbor Way, Suite A, Santa Barbara, CA 93109 | ph. 805.965.9564 |

Santa Barbara Travel Presents

R TO WIN! ENTEJune 23 - Sept. 15

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• 7 Nights (consecutive) for 2 adults at one of the Club Med North America resorts as listed on the site • Limit one entry per person & email address

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Drawing on

Sept 23, 2014




The Restaurant Guy by JOHN DICKSON

R+D Kitchen

Coming to Montecito


+D Kitchen, an offshoot of the Houston’s restaurant chain, plans to open a location on Coast Village Road in a new building currently under construction, situated immediately to the left of Jeannine’s Bakery. The property used to be a nursery. I am told that R+D Kitchen has approached several businesses in town, offering to purchase their liquor license for $175,000, reportedly a significant premium over the going rate. Here is a message from its website: “R+D Kitchen’s mantra is all about crisp, flavorful cuisine. In each of the R+D’s, one can enjoy the light and airy qualities of the space where there is a connection to the outside. The first R+D was established in Newport Beach at Fashion Island and has slowly expanded to four locations including Dallas, Santa Monica, and Yountville in California’s Napa Valley. In the works next: R+D Kitchen in Montecito, CA!”

next door, that once was a fish drying business, has been purchased by Melville Winery for what one has to assume will be a tasting room as well.”


behind Barbareño restaurant, coming this fall to  West Canon Perdido Street, formerly D’Vine Café, have started a series of pop-up dinners so you can try their food in advance of the opening.“We’re weekly holding pop-up dinners for our restaurant, Barbareño, up until the time we open,” says co-owner Julian Martinez.“We’ve done one pop-up at The Shop on Milpas, one at Pacific Crêpes, and one at Three Pickles downtown. They’ve been a lot of fun, and it’s been a great way for people to try out some of the food we’ll eventually be serving at the restaurant. People can stay up on where our next dinners will be through our blog at” PAUL WELLMAN FILE PHOTO

Fresh. Tasty. Affordable.


9 locations serving the tri-counties

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august 28, 2014

with Café Del Sol at  Los Patos Way in Montecito and was told that their liquor license has been suspended. I was not given a time frame for when alcohol sales will resume. Tasty food continues to be served as usual!


This just in from downtown Silvergreens: “SilverRUMOR MACHINE: Word on the Funk Zone street is that Lucky Penny may move greens is excited to locations in the near future, so where will all the pennies go? announce their new Happy Hour taking RUMOR MACHINE: The ongoing California place Sunday thru Friday, 3 to 6 p.m., and all day on drought has forced statewide water rationing. Our Saturdays. $4.00 Fig Mt beer. $4.00 local Santa Barlawns are brown. Our fountains are dry. It’s even bara county wines. $4.00 appetizers. Check out a great affected the Rumor Machine, which stopped printing vibe. Grab some Coconut Chicken Skewers, an Apple when the internal lubrication dried up. After a recent & Brie Flatbread or some Ceviche Tacos. Pair your blast of WD- onto the rollers, a piece of paper sudapps with our new Michelada or a glass of Pear Cider. denly popped out that read: “Though Lucky Penny Eat Real Food for Happy Hour! Offer valid at our was previously destined to migrate to  Anacapa Downtown location only.  Chapala Street across Street, the former home of the recently-closed Avelina from Paseo Nuevo.” Wine Company, some time next year the popular GLUTEN-FREE LABELING: Starting this month, eatery will instead be moving next year to  State “gluten-free” labels on packaged foods have a defined Street, the current home of Bay Roadhouse Bar and meaning. Until now, the term “gluten-free” had not Grill.” As always, this rumor might be completely false been regulated, and product manufacturers made or a brilliant forecast of future events. Your call. their own decisions about what it means. Under the FUNK ZONE UPDATE: This just in from reader new rules, food manufacturers must ensure that anyJessica: “Hey, John, I read your column every week. thing labeled gluten-free contains less than 20 parts Changes are coming to the Funk Zone. Oreana Winper million of gluten, ensuring that those products are ery has been sold to an L.A.-based winery technically free of wheat, rye, and barley. That amount called Agua Dulce and they have is generally recognized by the medical community to submitted plans to change half of be low enough so that most people who have celiac the building into a tasting room disease won’t be affected by eating a product with MORE for that brand. Th e property gluten-free labeling. FOOD SEE P. 43


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e m a i l a d s @ i n d e p e n d e n t. c o m

Legals Administer of Estate NOTICE OF PETITION TO ADMINISTER ESTATE OF: RICHARD E. CARSON NO: 1468287 To all heirs, beneficiaries, creditors, contingent creditors, and persons who may otherwise be interested in the will or estate, or both of RICHARD CARSON, RICHARD EARL CARSON, and RICHARD E. CARSON A PETITION FOR PROBATE: has been filed by: SHARON VIZINO in the Superior Court of California, County of Santa Barbara THE PETITION FOR PROBATE requests that SHARON VIZINO be appointed as personal representatives to administer the estate of the decedent. THE PETITION requests authority to administer the estateunder the Independent Administration of Estates Act. (This authority will allow the personal representative to take many actions without obtaining court approval. Before taking certain very important actions, however, the personal represenative will be required to give notice to interested persons unless they have waived notice or consented to the proposedaction.) The independent administration authority will be granted unless an interested person files an objection to the petition and shows good cause why the court should not grant the authority. A HEARING on the petition will be held in this court as follows: on 09/11/2014 AT 9:00 a.m. Dept: Five SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA COUNTY OF SANTA BARBARA, located at 1100 Anacapa Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93101. Anacapa Division. IF YOU OBJECT to the granting of the petition, you should appear at the hearing and state your objections or file written objections with the court before the hearing. Your appearance may be in person or by your attorney. IF YOU ARE A CREDITOR or a contingent creditor of the decedent, you must file your claim with the court and mail a copy to the personal representative appointed by the court within the later of either (1) four months from the date of first issuance of letters to a general personal representative, as defined in section 58 (b) of the California Probate Code, or (2) 60 days from the date of mailing or personal delivery to you of a notice under section 9052 of the California Probate Code. Other California statutes and legal authority may affect your rights as a creditor. You may want to consult with an attorney knowledgeable in California law. YOU MAY EXAMINE the file kept by the court. If you are a person interested in the estate, you may file with the court a Request for Special Notice (form DE‑154) of the filing of an inventory and appraisal of estate assets or of any petition or account as provided in Probate Code Section 1250. A Request for Special form is available from the court clerk. Attorney for Petitioner: Ian M. Fisher, Price Postel & Parma LLP 200 E. Carrillo St., Ste. 400 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; (805) 962‑0011 Published Aug 14, 21, 28 2014.

FBN Abandonment STATEMENT OF ABANDONMENT OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME The following Fictitious Business Name is being abandoned: Live Hives at 6273 Marlborough Drive Goleta, CA 93117. The original statement for use of this Fictitious Business Name was filed Feb. 11, 2013. in the County of Santa Barbara. Original file no. 2013‑0000456. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 30, 2014 I hereby certify that this is a correct copy of the original statement on file in my office, Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. Published. Aug. 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. STATEMENT OF ABANDONMENT OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME The following Fictitious Business Name is being abandoned: Nu Image Ad Neumann Group, Inc 6175 Manzanillo Drive Goleta, CA 93117 The original statement for use of this Fictitious Business Name was filed Aug. 15, 2011. in the County of Santa Barbara. Original file no. 2011‑0002442. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014 I hereby certify that this is a correct copy of the original statement on file in my office, Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. Published. Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

STATEMENT OF ABANDONMENT OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME The following Fictitious Business Name is being abandoned: Dental Care of Santa Barbara, Dental Care of Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara Dental Center, Weber & Malek Dental Group, Santa Barbara Dental Care, Santa Barbara Dental Group, Dental Group of Santa Barbara at 2411 Bath Street Santa Barbara, CA 93105 The original statement for use of this Fictitious Business Name was filed Jan 7, 2014. in the County of Santa Barbara. Original file no. 2014‑0000047. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 4, 2014 I hereby certify that this is a correct copy of the original statement on file in my office, Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. Published. Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. STATEMENT OF ABANDONMENT OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME The following Fictitious Business Name is being abandoned: Ambassador House SB at 1601 Anacapa Street Santa Barbara, CA 93111 The original statement for use of this Fictitious Business Name was filed Apr 7, 2014. in the County of Santa Barbara. Original file no. 2014‑0001021. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 8, 2014 I hereby certify that this is a correct copy of the original statement on file in my office, Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. Published. Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FBN Withdrawal STATEMENT OF WITHDRAWAL OF USE OF FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME The following persons (s) has (have) withdrawn as partner (s) from the partnership operating under: Ruby Sky, Ruby Sky Productions 330 E. Carrillo Street Suite F Santa Barbara, CA 93101. The original statement for use of this Fictitious Business Name was filed 8/15/2013 in the County of Santa Barbara. Original file no. 2013‑0002581. The person or entities withdrawing use of this name are as follows: Janette K. James 118 W. Victoria Street #3 Santa Barbara, CA 93101 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 12, 2014. I hereby certify that this is a correct copy of the original statement on file in my office, Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk SEAL by Adela Bustos. Published. Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014.

Fictitious Business Name Statement FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Services For Attorneys at 115 Oliver Rd. Santa Barbara, CA 93109; B.J. Seebol 1050 17th St. N.W. #1000 Washington, DC 20036; Daryl W. Skare 115 Oliver Rd. Santa Barbara, CA 93109 This business is conducted by a Limited Partnership Company Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 14, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morlaes. FBN Number: 2014‑0002042. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: E10 Builders at 831 W. Anapamu Street #1 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Todd E Eaton (same address) This business is conducted by a individual Signed: Todd E. Eaton This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 31, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002247. Published: Aug. 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Roto Limbo at 4679 La Espada Santa Barbara, CA 93111; Roto Limbo, LLC (same address) This business is conducted by a Limited Liability Company Signed: Tommy Lutz, Manager This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number:

2014‑0002281. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014.

Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002160. Published: August 7, 14, 21, 28 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Bacon Audio at 933 Castillo St Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Andrew Velikanje 1569 Silver Shadow Thousand Oaks, CA 91320 This business is conducted by a individual Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 17, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Noe Solis. FBN Number: 2014‑0002074. Published: Aug. 7, 14, 21, 28 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Terry’s Tree Service at 513 Primrose Ln Santa Maria, CA 93455; Bowman’s Tree Surgery, Inc (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: Robert Bowman Jr, President This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 23, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Eva Chavez. FBN Number: 2014‑0002151. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Santa Barbara Orthopaedics And Sprots Medicine at 222 W. Pueblo St Santa Barbara, CA 93105; Richard D Scheinberg 751 San Ysidro Road Santa Barbara, CA 93108 This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: Richard D. Scheinberg M. D. President This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 29, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002210. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Live Hives at 6273 Marlborough Drive Goleta, CA 93117; Andrew West (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: Andrew West This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 30, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002229. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Bellum, Bellumx, Bellumx Records at 116 West Islay Street #9 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Evan Allen Pitts (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: Evan A. Pitts This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 21, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002107. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Santa Barbara Lending Group, SB Motgage Group at 4141 State Street Suite D‑3 Santa Barbara, CA 93110; Reliance Mortgage Solutions Inc 6688 Evening Song CT Goleta, CA 93117 This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: Simar Jot Gulati This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 15, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. FBN Number: 2014‑0002061. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: at 426 N Hope Avenue Santa Barbara, CA 93110; McCall, Szerdy & Associates, Inc. (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: Danotha Charwat‑McCall Vice President This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 30, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002232. Published: Aug 7, 14, 21, 28 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: MBVV Communications at 420 E. Sola Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Michelle Boender‑Van Vliet (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: Michelle Boender‑Van Vliet This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 24, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Moscow Mug at 1221 Bath Street, Suite E Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Jeffrey David Hunter­ (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: Jeff HunterThis statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 17, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002079. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Property Investment Consultants Santa Barbara at 219 West Isaly Street #1 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Santa Barbara Home Services (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 6, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. FBN Number: 2014‑0002306. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Thoughtful Organizing at 1007 Chino Street #A Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Amy Fritz (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Amy Fritz This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 11, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. FBN Number: 2014‑0002336. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Lily’s Nails of Santa Barbara at 1230 State Street #B Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Geoffrey Quaglino 1727 State Street #1 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Tuyet Nga Tran (same address) This business is conducted by a Married Couple Company Signed: Geoffrey Quaglino This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 11, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002332. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Clover Telecom at 150 Castilian Drive Goleta, CA 93117; Clover Telecom Asset Management, LLC 4200 Columbus St Ottawa, Il 61350 This business is conducted by a Limited Liability Company Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 4, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morlaes. FBN Number: 2014‑0002266. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Dental Care of Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara Dental Center, Weber & Malek Dental Group, Dental Group of Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara Dental Group, Santa Barbara Dental Care, Weber & Becker Dental Group at 2411 Bath Street Santa Barbara, CA 93105; David G Becker 6015 Jacaranda #1A Carpinteria, CA 93013; Joseph C Weber 1304 Crestline Santa Barbara, CA 93105 This business is conducted by a General Partnership Company Signed: This statement was

filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 4, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. FBN Number: 2014‑0002274. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002293. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Environment Control Building Maintenance Co. of Santa Barbara at 5061 San Julio Ave Santa Barbara, CA 93111; Gold Level Corporation (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: Gregg Petty, President This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 6, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. FBN Number: 2014‑0002302. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Bodyworks of Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara Bodyworks at 113 West Mission Street, Ste C‑F Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Santa Barbara Bodyworks, Inc (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 11, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002340. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: TMI Research Services at 340 S. Kellogg St. #J Goleta, CA 93117; Derek Taylor 543 Carlo Drive Goleta, CA 93117; John Taylor (same address) This business is conducted by a General Partnership Company Signed: Derek Taylor This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Noe Solis. FBN Number: 2014‑0002287. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Cominichi’s at 19 East Haley Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Gina Comin 1434 Garden Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Gina Comin This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 18, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002404. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Property Payment‑Rent at 430 S. Fairview Avenue Santa Barbara, CA 93117; Yardi Systems, Inc (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: Gordon Morrell, Secretary This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 23, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. FBN Number: 2014‑0002154. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: La Empresa at 4280 Calle Real #63 Santa Barbara, CA 93110; Ernesto Botello (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Ernesto Botello This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 25, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002179. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: CAB at 583 Refugio Road Santa Ynez, CA 93460; Roger G Billings 1428 Laguna Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Roger G Billings This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 6, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. FBN Number: 2014‑0002305. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Art Explorers, Inspiration Classes at 5370 Hollister Ave Ste 2 Santa Barbara, CA 93111; Onolee Zwicke 7133 Monique CT Goleta, CA 93117 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Onolee Zwicke This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Noe Solis. FBN Number: 2014‑0002284. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Nu Image Ad Group at 5662 Calle Real #233 Goleta, CA 93117; Andre Neumann 6175 Manzanillo Drive Goleta, CA 93117 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Andre Neumann This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002282. Published: Aug 14, 21, 28. Sep 4 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Ichiban Japanese Restaurant at 1812 Cliff Dr. #A Santa Barbara, CA 93109; WRML Japanese Restaurant, Inc (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: Ruiming Wu This

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: I.B.W. at 2930 Foothill Rd Santa Barbara, CA 93105; Elizabeth Ellen Blackadar 3749 Greggory Way 3 Santa Barbara, CA 93105 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Elizabeth E Blackadar This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 28, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. FBN Number: 2014‑0002186. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: The Langhorne Group at 1290 Coast Village Rd Santa Barbara, CA 93108; Sofiann Enrico Langhorne 497 Live Oaks Rd Santa Barbara, CA 93108 This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: Sofiann Enrico Langhorne This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 12, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Melissa Mercer. FBN Number: 2014‑0002360. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Martin Ink at 7360 Padova Drive Goleta, CA 93117; Kyle Martin (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Kyle Martin This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 6, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Christine Potter. FBN Number: 2014‑0002299. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Tomentella Tree Service at 840 W Rimes Court Santa Maria, CA 93458; George Jimenez (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: George Jimenez This statement was filed with the County

August 28, 2014

Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 12, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002349. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: SB Mower Service & Repair at 130 North Calle Cesar Chavez, Suite 8A Santa Barbara, CA 93103; Alfredo Gutierrez Cuevas 2254 Crestmont Drive Ventura, CA 93003 This business is conducted by a Individual Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 6, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002301. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Cupcake Lab at 6661 Berkshire Terrace #22 Goleta, CA 93117; Drakirah L Glenn (same address) This business is conducted by a General Partnership Company Signed: Robert Deichert III This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 11, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002345. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Nicole Helton Movement Arts at 215 Castillo Street #5 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Nicole Helton (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Nicole Helton This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 8, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Christine Potter. FBN Number: 2014‑0002320. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: V.G. Classics at 225 Gray Avenue Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Imported Auto Services, Inc (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Signed: V.­G. Semerdjian This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Jul 30, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002228. Published: Aug 21, 28. Sep 4, 11 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Lovelement at 195 S. Broadway Suite 201 Orcutt, CA 93455; Lisa Jay 321 Sharry Lane Orcutt, CA 93455 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Lisa Jay This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 18, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Marianne Ashcome. FBN Number: 2014‑0002421. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Whitcraft Winery, Whitcraft Wines at 36 A. South Calle Cesar Chavez Santa Barbara, CA 93103; Christopher Drake Whitcraft 3022 Lomita Rd Santa Barbara, CA 93105 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: C. Drake Whitcraft This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on July 28, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Noe Solis. FBN Number: 2014‑0002189. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Auto Parts Development at 411 East Canon Perdido Street, Ste 15 Santa Barbara, CA 93101; 508, Inc. (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa



independent classifieds


phone 965-5205


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Business Opportunity $1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www.­ (AAN CAN) WORK YOUR OWN HOURS. Determine your income. Own our own medical alert distributorship in your area. Small investment required. Call 844‑225‑1200. (Cal‑SCAN)


Having a positive impact on others, and feeling fulfillment in return, is a cornerstone of the Cottage Health System culture. As a community-based, not-for-profit provider of leading-edge healthcare for the Greater Santa Barbara region, Cottage emphasizes the difference each team member can make. It’s a difference you’ll want to experience throughout your entire career. Join us in one of the openings below.


Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital

Cottage Rehabilitation Hospital

• PCTs – Surgical Trauma & Telemetry


• Recreational Therapist • RN • Therapeutic Recreation Aide

• Telemetry Technicians

• Clinical Policy Writer


• Infection Preventionist Data Support


Goleta Valley Cottage Hospital

• Lead Bed Control Coordinator

• Director – Epic Program

• Med/Surg – Float Pool

• Environmental Services Rep


• Infant/Toddler Teacher

• Administrative Assistant – Therapy Services • RNs – ICU • RN – Wound Care


• Lean/Process Improvement Facilitator

Pacific Diagnostic Laboratories


• Patient Transporter – Per Diem


• PBX Operator

• Director – IT Project

• Surgery

• Physician Practice Consultant

• Surgical Clinical Reviewer

• Security Officers

• Triad Coordinator

• Sr. Analyst – CeHC


• Sr. Admin Assistant – HR

• Supervisor, Housekeeping

• Sr. Admin Assistant – Marketing

• Supervisor, ED Psych

• Sr. Digital Marketing – Strategist

Allied Health

• Stationary Engineer II

• Speech Language Pathologist II – Per Diem

Santa Ynez Valley Cottage Hospital

• Support Counselor – Per Diem • Surgical Tech

• RN – Emergency • RN –Med/Surg

• Certified Phlebotomy Techs • Clinical Lab Scientist • CLS Lab Supervisor • Lab Assistant • Patient Serv. Center Supervisor • Sr. Systems Support Analyst





Enjoy the Central Coast lifestyle and work minutes from the beach! Yardi Systems is hiring for Associate Technical Account Managers to join their growing client services team. If you have a background in Economics, Business or IT and you are interested in applying your experience or educational background to a different type of career this may be the opportunity you have been seeking! As an Associate Technical Account Manager, you will serve as the point person for clients through the entire software implementation life cycle. In a virtual environment, this position supports system implementation, trains clients on Yardi’s Voyager enterprise software solution, troubleshoots technical issues, communicates milestones, works in SQL, and serves as a liaison with Yardi internal resource teams that include training, conversion, sales and development. Successful candidates will meet the following criteria: Experience setting and managing client expectations Superior verbal communication skills.



August 28, 2014

Three (3) years of experience managing projects on accounting, business process, property management, or real estate software Experience in ERP systems Experience independently managing and resolving a variety of client issues


Yardi Systems is currently hiring for a Software Developer to join their growing product development team! If you are a career-minded individual with solid programming skills and a methodical approach to your work this may be the position you have been seeking. As a Software Developer you will be responsible for designing, developing and debugging new and existing software products using Microsoft .Net tools and database platforms. You will create and modify Web pages, business logic code, database objects and reports to provide enterprise business applications to thousands of end-users worldwide. You will document solutions and designs, test code modifications and work closely with other Programmers, Quality Assurance Specialists and client facing personnel to deliver best-in-class Web based systems to Yardi clients. Successful candidates will possess the following experience and background: BS in Computer Science is required for consideration Thorough technical knowledge of coding in, VB, Oracle and MSSQL program. Experience with developing browser independent Web applications Excellent communication skills in both written and verbal formats  The ability to learn quickly, be a self-starter and excel in team environments  Looking for a career-oriented individual with attention to detail, and methodical approach to tasks and record-keeping.

This position requires up to 80% Travel

Desired Skills:


Experience with mobile application development

Proven ability to manage projects with multiple touch points

Knowledge of Eclipse highly desirable

Proven excellent written and verbal communication skills

Knowledge of residential real estate or experience with accounting systems is a plus

Proven client‑centered commitment and focus Proven strong ability to meet critical deadlines and prioritize multiple tasks Collegial, team‑oriented disposition DESIRED SKILLS/ABILITIES

Ability to think and act strategically and recommend the implementation of new ideas or strategies



Five plus (5+) years of experience in software or business process consulting with customers or equivalent.

Solid Proficiency in MS Office Suite and Outlook

Cottage Health System, Human Resources, P.O. Box 689, Pueblo at Bath Street, Santa Barbara, CA 93102-0689. Please apply online at

Bachelor’s Degree in Business, Finance, Math, or Computer/Engineering Sciences or equivalent experience in the property management industry

Yardi domain experience

PLEASE APPLY TO: http://www.yardi. com/about-us/career-opportunities

Excellence, Integrity, Compassion


Project Management, Accounting, or Property Management experience/ background.

For more information on how you can advance your future with these opportunities, or to submit a resume, please contact:

Please reference “SBI” when applying. EOE

Goleta Sanitary District is Recuiting for the Position of Laboratory Technician 1. Salary Range: $24.30 ‑ $31.02 per hour. Exellent Benefits. See Full Position Advertisement and Description of Benefits at the District’s Web Site. www.­

Africa, Brazil Work/Study! Change IMPLEMENTATION the lives of others CONSULTANT and create a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply The Consultant manages and executes successful Enterprise Resource Planning now! (ERP) deployments and fosters strong w w w. O n e W o r l d C e n t e r. o r g 269.591.0518 info@OneWorldCenter.­ client relationships. Provides a high level of consultative, implementation, org (AAN CAN) training, and professional services to LEARN TO BARTEND. We offer two a portfolio of assigned Yardi clients and five day courses, in a real bar, to manage and utilize the business designed to teach you everything you operations and financial accounting need to know to become a professional functions in Yardi’s Voyager software. bartender. Recognizes and refers opportunities to sell products/services to existing General Full-Time Clients. A mostly traveling position, the Consultant delivers timely and quality services that meet or exceed expectations.

Knowledge in three of the following areas: Property Management, Accounting, Microsoft Windows, Technical Support, SQL, HTML/ASP

We offer an excellent compensation package that includes above-market salaries, premium medical benefits, Wellness program, pension plans, tax savings accounts, rental and mortgage assistance, and relocation packages. What’s holding you back?

Laboratory Techni­cian 1

Industry expertise in property management and accounting principles PLEASE APPLY TO: http://www.yardi. com/about-us/career-opportunities EOE

PLEASE APPLY TO: http://www.yardi. com/about-us/career-opportunities EOE

Medical/Healthcare Clinical Intake Counselor (Santa Barbara, CA): Assess clinical needs & urgency of clients w/ severe through normative problems. Conduct intake interviews, incl psychological inventory & history, & prep summary & write‑up. W/ clinical supvr, assign clients to clinicians or group therapy. Educate clients on services & refer clients to other professionals as needed. In coord’n w/ counselors, staff & clinical supvrs, provide phone triage screenings, emergency & crisis intervention. Coord individual clients’ services. Assist w/ dvlpmt & delivery of group intervention approaches for designated populations. Master’s in Counseling, Psychology or related + 1 yr exp as Intake Counselor,

independent cLassifieds

empLoyment Intake Psychologist or related reqd. Resumes: Carrillo Counseling Services dba New Beginnings Counseling Center,



CLS license required and Bachelor’s degree required. PDL offers competitive pay and benefits (including medical, dental and 401(k), sign‑on bonuses relocation and rental assistance. Please apply online at:


Pacific Diagnostic Laboratories, LLC (PDL) is a for‑profit clinical laboratory established in response to the community’s need for a local, high quality clinical laboratory. PDL is a wholly owned subsidiary of Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital (www. Located in Santa Barbara, California, PDL’s goal is to provide the Tri‑Counties area of Central California (which includes San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, and Ventura counties) with the highest quality of laboratory services as well as an unmatched level of customer service. Our fast paced acute care Laboratory serves a busy community Emergency Room, robust open‑heart surgery program, PICU, NICU, Oncology, and Trauma Unit specialty services. Laboratory includes general Chemistry, Hematology, Flow Cytometry, additionally our Blood Bank is a Transfusion Service. We perform all technical aspects of blood bank, including panel identification studies. Active blood and blood product transfusion service 24/7. Qualified candidates should have 4‑5 year’s experience as a lead or supervisor in General Lab and should have a proficient understanding of a transfusion service or be a specialist in blood bank. Candidate must be comfortable interacting and making recommendations to the medical staff; as well as coaching CLS staff. California

phone 965-5205


e m a i l a d s @ i n d e p e n d e n t. c o m






Part Time Financial Aid Counselor Antioch University Santa Barbara

Under the general direction of Dir. of Student Services, the Financial Aid Counselor is responsible for the accuracy and validity of all data entered into the Financial Aid software programs (Webgrants, COD, NSLD, Datatel, FASFA). This position is the on‑campus contact and serves as a resource to other faculty, staff and students. Will answer basic inquiries and problem solve at the campus level in collaboration with the Director of Student Services and the Director of University Financial Aid. Complete descriptions may be found at: This position is 20 hrs/week, ending 6/30/15, with the possibility of extending. To Apply: Please send cover letter and resume to: Reference the job title of the job position in the subject line of the email. Antioch University is Opportunity Employer




Assistant Apartment Manager Full Time On‑Site Assistant Manager to co‑manage fast paced demanding153 unit property in Isla Vista. Experience: Apartment Management, Office, Books/Funds, Renting/Communication Skills. Ability to deal with conflict. Paperwork/Reports, Strong Maintenance & Grounds knowledge required. Supervise 4 maintenance employees. Be reliable, Self‑Starter. Respond to after hour emergencies. $12.50/hr. with quarterly bonus potential & 1 Bed Apt. Schedule: ½ day Monday p.m. All Day Tue‑Fri, ½ day Sat a.m. To apply please pick up an application at: Islay Investments, 800 Garden St. Suite K, Santa Barbara, 93101. Office hours: Monday ‑ Thursday 8‑5pm, Friday 8‑1pm


Electrical & Computer Engineering Responsible for financial management of department funds, financial activity of extramural funds, recharge rate proposals and PPS transactions for research personnel. Reqs: Demonstrated budgetary and fiscal management skills. Strong Excel skills, including experience analyzing and reporting on large tables of financial data. Strong communication, analytical, spreadsheet, and computer skills. Must be detail oriented with a high degree of accuracy. Note: Fingerprinting required.

$21.43/hr. The University of California is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, or any other characteristic protected by law including protected veterans and individuals with disabilities. A For primary consideration apply by 9/4/14, thereafter open until filled. Apply online at Job #20140381


Housing & Residential Services Provides leadership and supervision for all custodial and maintenance work in a Residence Hall setting of 600‑1000 students, interacting effectively as a team member with sensitivity toward a multicultural work and living environment. Reqs: Possess a minimum of five years supervisory experience in a leadership position in the custodial, maintenance or service industry fields, with demonstrated experience in housekeeping and/or performance of light maintenance of buildings. Demonstrated experience as a trainer, for staff training in custodial or other related fields. Experience in the customer service industry, specifically in a University residential setting or equivalent, with experience managing multiple areas of responsibility. Possess effective communication, written, verbal, organizational and computer skills. Ability to work effectively with an ethnically diverse student body and staff and serve as an effective team member. Notes: Fingerprinting required. Maintain a valid CA driver’s license and a clean DMV record. Ability

to work shifts other than Monday thru Friday to meet the operational needs of the department. $3,389 ‑ $5,012/ mo. The University of California is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, or any other characteristic protected by law including protected veterans and individuals with disabilities. Apply by 9/4/14 Apply online at https://jobs. Job #20140380


$9-$15.00/hr. base pay + bonuses


Make a Difference in Your Community! Volunteer for United Way of Santa Barbara County’s 23rd Annual Day of Caring!


Barbara County on Aug 19, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002433. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Twisted Sisters at 863 Walnut Road Santa Barbara, CA 93110; Lisa Brown (same address)This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Lisa Brown This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 11, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002337. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: Alpha Investment Management at 315 Meigs Rd. Suite A #416 Santa Barbara, CA 93109; Alpha Investment Management, Inc. (same address) This business is conducted by a Corporation Company Signed: Alpha Investment Management, Inc. This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 5, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002297. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/ are doing business as: TM Auto Repair at 526 Anacapa Street Suite B Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Jesus Antonio Espinoza 814 East Haley Street Santa Barbara, CA 93103 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Jesus Espinoza This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 25, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Gabriel Cabello. FBN Number: 2014‑0002478. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014.

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Western Gull Charters at 2‑C‑11 Harbor Way Santa Barbara, CA 93109; Gabriel Rodriguez 23210 Huber Ave Torrence, CA 90501 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Gabriel Rodriguez This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 19, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Miriam Leon. FBN Number: 2014‑0002432. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Coolibah Clothing Company at 253 Aspen Way Santa Barbara, CA 93111; Vickie J. Ascolese (same address) Richard D. Vincent (same address) This business is conducted by a Married Couple Company Signed: Richard D. Vincent This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 20, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Adela Bustos. FBN Number: 2014‑0002434. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Recia’s Hair Design at 3405 State St. Santa Barbara, CA 93105; Recia Hinojos 587 Central Ave Buelton, CA 93427 This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Recia Hinojos This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 8, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Noe Solis. FBN Number: 2014‑0002323. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Sparkling Janitorial Services at 3711 San Remo Dr Ste 17 Santa Barbara, CA 93105; Victor Montes (same address) This

business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Victor Montes This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 21, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002466. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014. FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT The following person(s) is/are doing business as: Get It Done, Executive And Personal Services See California And Beyond Romantic Celebrations And Destinations See Santa Barbara See California See Santa Barbara And Beyond at 1436 De La Vina Suite A Santa Barbara, CA 93101; Chrystal Lynn Carlson (same address) This business is conducted by a Individual Company Signed: Chrystal Lynn Carlson This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Barbara County on Aug 15, 2014. This statement expires five years from the date it was filed in the Office of the County Clerk. Joseph E. Holland, County Clerk (SEAL) by Jan Morales. FBN Number: 2014‑0002399. Published: Aug 28. Sep 4, 11, 18 2014.

notice to creditors NOTICE TO CREDITORS OF DONALD HENRY FRENCH LIVING TRUST, DECEASED SUPERIOR COURT FOR THE COUNTY OF SANTA BARBARA COOK DIVISION CASE NUMBER: 1468269 (No Hearing Required) PROPOSED NOTICE TO CREDITORS OF TRUST The undersigned is the trustee of the DONALD HENRY FRENCH LIVING TRUST datded April 3, 2013. The settlor, Donald Henry French, is deceased. No petition for probate of the deceased settlor’s estate is pending. The undersigned wishes to initiate a trust claims proceeding under Probate Code section 19000 et seq. The proposed Notice to Crediotors, in the form specified in Probated Code sections 19040 and 19052, is attached hereto as Exhibit A. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN to the creditors and contingent creditors of the above‑named decendent, that

all persons having claims against the decendent are required to file them with the Santa Barbara County Superior Court, at 1100 Anacapa Street, 93101, and mail a copy to Scott Reid, as trustee of the Donald Henry French Living Trust dated April 3, 2013, wherein the decedent was the settlor, at 333 Palm Avenue, Santa Barbara, California, 93101 within the later of four months after (the date of the first publication of notice to creditors) or, if notice is mailed or personally deliverd to you, 60 days after the date this notice is mailed or personally delivered to you. A claim form may be obtained from the court clerk. For your protection, you are encouraged to file your claim by certified mail, with return receipt requested. SCOTT REID, Trustee of the Donald Henry French Living Trust dated April 3, 2013 333 Palm Avenue Santa Barbara, CA 93101 Signed: ERIN R. PARKS SBN133873 625 E. Victoria Street Garden Suite Santa Barbara, CA 93103, (805) 899‑7717 Published: August 21, 28. Sep 4 2014.

puBlic notices

PUBLIC NOTICE NONDISCRIMINA‑ TORY POLICY AS TO STUDENTS. The Usui Reiki Center admits students, volunteers, staff and clients of any race to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to its students, volunteers, staff and clients and does not discriminate on the basis of race in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, and other school administered programs.

August 28, 2014



independent classifieds

Well• being


phone 965-5205


Learn To Dance!

Survival Ballroom starts Thursday, Sept 4th with Jonathan 698‑0832

Healing Groups

AA 24 hrs 7 days/wk Alcoholics Anonymous Call 962‑3332

Divorced? Sepa­ rated?

Divorce Care Support Group beginning

Sept. 11th, 7‑9pm for 13 weeks. FCC (corner of State and Padre) 805‑252‑4105

Holistic Health

Healing Touch

Herbal programs for weight‑loss, heart conditions, inflammation & pain, blood sugar conditions, colon cleanse, liver detox. Naturopath, Herbalist, Khabir Southwick, 805‑308‑3480,

1500 “A” C H A PA L A S T S A N TA B A R B A R A

(805) 899-7791

$10 off 1 hr massage

Swedish/Deep Tissue/Shiatsu


Open 7 Days 9am-10pm

music alley

Tantra/ Massage


Massage (LICENSED)

Herbal Health‑care

Ne w A s i a n M a s s a g e

Christ The King Hotline EPISCOPAL CHURCH 284-4042

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23 yrs exp. massage, cranial sacral and aroma therapy. Cheryl 681‑9865

Jing Wu Spa Healing Prayer



Jeff Dutcher, CMP. 1211 Coast Village Rd. #1, Montecito. Call or Text Jeff now at (203) 524‑4779 or visit www.­ Outcalls available. CA State License #13987.

Heavenly Nurturing

Misc. Music

Leo Barocio


21yrs exp.Ki Soaring‑Eagle Free Extra In/ 698‑5861 Different techniques. First visit $35 = 1hour. 805‑636‑8929. 827 State st.

Special Technique Swedish & Deep Tissue Massage 10 Years Experience!! Call or Text Lisa 805‑448‑6338

Sports, Integrative bodywork. Ken Yamamoto, 30+yrs exp.: 682‑3456


Experience Massage Artistry‑unwind, discover peace & renewal. Sports/ Swedish/Deep Tissue/Shiatsu/ Lymph In/ Out Spray Tan Gift certs. Celia Schmidt LMT 962‑1807

Enjoy Piano, Voice or Harp Lessons. Exciting new approach to a full musical experience. Read, memorize, compose or improvise any music w/ ease. Vocal audition prep. $52/hr. 1st lesson 50% off!! Christine Holvick, BM, MM, 30 yrs exp Call 969‑6698

Now Playing


FOR ALL EVENTS. Weddings, Concerts, Parties, Churches, Recording Studios. Classical, pop, folk, jazz...Christine Holvick, BM, MM 969‑6698

Expert in Deep Tissue, 20 yrs exp. Work w/chronic pain, stress & injuries. 1st time Client $50/hr. Gift Cert available, Outcall. Laurie Proia, LMT 886‑8792

“You Missed a Spot” – when things don’t come full circle.

Music Lessons

The 3HOUR MASSAGE WONDERFUL 1, 1.5, 2 & 3Hr appts, M‑F. Intro/sliding rates. Shiatzu, Deeptissue, Swedish, TEACHER


s tt Jone By Ma

by a life coach, The Whole Musician Way. Balance your life through music. Any age, any level... with a mention of this ad. $30 per half hour. Call 805 455 9814 or email

FOOT REFLEXOLOGY For the unsung heroes of your body. $40/ hour or 5 for $175 prepaid. Gift Certs avail. Call Janette @ 805‑966‑5104

MIND COCOON Looking to jam or join a band? Mind Cocoon is looking for musicians to rock out with this guitar & ukulele duo.­ Contact us if interested. Ryne & Gabby


Marketplace Announcements


$50 Walmart Gift Card & 3 Free issues of your favorite magazines! Call 855‑757‑3486 (AAN CAN)


DONATE YOUR CAR, TRUCK OR BOAT TO HERITAGE FOR THE BLIND. Free 3 Day Vacation, Tax Deductible, Free Towing, All Paperwork Taken Care Of. 800‑731‑5042. (Cal‑SCAN)

Garage & Estate Sales


1 City, casually 4 Common mixer 8 Chin dimples 14 A thousand times more than a mil 15 Reagan Secretary of State 16 “Got that right!” 17 It may need a massage 18 One wing of the Museum of Poisons? 20 “Veil of ignorance” philosopher John 22 Tango necessity 23 “___ do it” 24 Archaeological find 26 Oceanic backflows 30 Instrument that means “high wood” 32 Sinuous swimmer 34 Clumsy sort 35 The act of keeping a basketball player from leaving the team? 40 Extra-spesh attention 41 Meas. taken during a physical 42 “That’s interesting!” 43 Little battery 45 Maximum amount of “aw” you can get from cat pictures? 49 Put together 50 “___ blu dipinto di blu” 51 They may be pale 52 Is guaranteed to work 56 Two-syllable poetic foot 58 Nucky’s brother, on “Boardwalk Empire” 59 Grazer’s sound 66


61 Flip side? 64 Fleetwood Mac’s John or Christine, without any singing parts? 69 Go one better than 70 Monopoly purchase, sometimes 71 Long time to wait 72 Actress Mendes 73 E-mail request 74 Go after flies 75 “Bang and Blame” band

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9


Taxi app Latvia’s capital Welding tool Big gap Crew gear Buzzfeed article, often Get older with style “___: Miami” “Funky Cold Medina” rapper Tone ___ 10 Ordinal number suffix 11 “___ not” 12 Bridal veil material 13 Isn’t buying it? 19 San Francisco’s ___ Hill 21 MGM co-founder Marcus ___ 25 Onion variety 27 Italian tenor Andrea 28 He was Sulu 29 “___ were you...” 30 Frequent, in poetry 31 Leave hastily 33 Redo some passages, maybe 36 Grading range 37 Shrek, for one August 28, 2014

38 Sudden-death game, say 39 Airport terminal area 44 Jerkface 46 Dig in 47 Intertwines 48 Bear with the medium-sized bowl 52 Activist Chavez 53 Full of spirit 54 Brother on “Frasier” 55 ThinkPad maker, before Lenovo 57 “This is only ___...” 60 Acknowledge frankly 62 Word before nest or knot 63 Folder filler 65 Away from WSW 66 Creature of habit? 67 Movie with a stuffed bear 68 Gourmet Garten ©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords ( For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0681

Yard Sale Great Bargains. Semi new and used items. 417 W. Anapamu St. Aug 30 ‑ Sept 1 9am‑4pm

Misc. For Sale 55’ LG Flat Screen TV perfect condition $800 obo 259‑8474 KILL BED BUGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killer Complete Treatment Program/ Kit. (Harris Mattress Covers Add Extra Protection). Available: Hardware Stores, Buy Online:

View our adoptable dogs at www.k‑ ‑ visit SB Co. Animal Shelter, 5473 Overpass: M‑F 9‑4:30 S 10‑3:30.

Treasure Hunt ($100 or LESS) “NEW” DELUXE DODGER CAP (one size fist all) Orig. $40, now $25. Call Fred 957‑4636. 2 NFL Authentic Beer Mugs. Orig. $30, $15 each. Call 805‑957‑4636. 4 t‑shirts, regularly $20 each. Selling for $5 each. Call 805‑957‑4636. AUTHENTIC NFL Mugs. Originally $40, selling for $15. Call 805‑957‑4636. BJORN RYE ETCHINGS Limited edition 12 different etchings ranging from $45 to $100. call 805‑687‑4514 (Kathy). BRAND NEW Transistor Radio. New $18. Sell for $10. Call 805‑957‑4636.

Cold Noses Warm Hearts

nonprofit dog rescue is looking for fosters! If you love dogs and want to open up your home to a rescue, this is for you! We will provide everything and the dog and you can provide the one-on-one time that rescues need to transition from shelter life! Please contact 964-2446 or email

AUTO Erectile dysfunction kit. Brend new. New Technology. $300 New, sacrafice for $20. Call 805‑967‑4636 Marcy Exercise Bike. $200 new, sell for $100 OBO. Call 805‑957‑4636

Car Care/Repair AIS MOBILE AUTO REPAIR‑ 20 yrs. exp. I’ll fix it anywhere! Pre‑Buy Inspections & Restorations. 12% OFF! 805‑448‑4450

PLAYING CARDS. Brand new, Elvis Presley, still in plaztic, from New Orleans. New $40. Sell for $15 OBO. Call 805‑957‑4636. Pocket Etch‑A‑SKETCH. $10. Call Fred, 805‑957‑4636 RADIO ‑ used. New $50, sell for $20 OBO. Call 805‑957‑4636. RAM Authentic T‑Shirts. Reg $25. $10 each. Call 805‑957‑4636. USED FISH TANK. Normally $100, selling for $10. Call Fred 957‑4636 Used UCLA twin bed blanket. $40 new/$10. Call 805‑957‑4636

Want To Buy CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1‑888‑420‑3808 (AAN CAN)

Rainbow Bridge Ranch

PALM GROWERS • Carpinteria Over 20 varieties of Coastal Climatized Grown Palm Trees, Tropicals & Bananas. Plant Locating • Wholesale to the Public

805 684 7976 • WE DELIVER


Meet Marty

Marty is a fun guy that is up for anything! He loves to go for hikes or play ball!

Meet Chrissy

Chrissy is very sweet but needs a sensitive person to love her. She is still young but has already had a rocky start to her life.

Cold Noses Warm Hearts (805) 964-2446 • (805) 895-1728 • 5758 Hollister Avenue, Goleta, CA 93117

These dogs would be ever so thankful if you could give them their forever home

Meet Smudge

Smudge is a sweet little guy that is looking for a loving home. He would make an excellent “cuddler!”

Meet Max

Max is a funny guy that loves treats but needs to be in a home with an experienced dog owner and no kids

Cold Noses Warm Hearts (805) 964-2446 • (805) 895-1728 • 5758 Hollister Avenue, Goleta, CA 93117

These dogs would be ever so thankful if you could give them their forever home

independent classifieds


phone 965-5205


e m a i l a d s @ i n d e p e n d e n t. c o m

Real Estate today




1316 De La Guerra Rd., $1,598,000, 4BD/4BA, Sat 1‑4 & Sun 2‑4 Wolfe/Lomas 722‑0322 or Scott 687‑2436

3109 Via Real, $750,000, 3BD/2BA, Sun 1‑3, Roxanne Nomura, 452‑9766


ries Fresh sto



ent.c independ ekday. every we x. bo in your in

452 Linfield Pl Unit D, 2BD/1BA, $449,000, Sun. 1‑4, Goodwin & Thyne Properties, Stu Morse, 805‑705‑0161

Mesa 1050 Vista Del Pueblo #14, $619,000, 2BD/1.5BA, Sun. 1‑4, Ruth Ann Bowe 698‑1971

Montecito 260 Penny Lane, $4,195,000, 4BD/4.5BA, Sun By Appt., Susan Burns 886‑8822

Sign up Today!

270 Santa Rosa Lane, $3,775,000, 5BD/5BA, Sun 1-4, Todd Bollinger 2208808 1567 E. Valley Road, $6,395,000, 6BD/5BA, Sun   1-4, Andrea Shaparenko 455-4945

Santa Barbara 121 E. Islay Street, $1,110,000, 3BD/2.­ 5BA, Sun 1‑4, Dan Failla 708‑1276 2434 Santa Barbara St., $2,398,000, 3BD/2.5BA, Sun. 2‑3, Scott McCosker 687‑2436 2641 State St W3, 3BD/2BA, $725,000, Sun. 1‑3, Goodwin & Thyne Properties, Caitlin Benson, 805‑699‑5102 313 W. Micheltorena St., $699,000, 2BD/2BA, Sat. & Sun. 1‑4, Dan 708‑1276 or Jessie 709‑0904 4901 La Ramada Drive, $949,000, 4BD/3BA, Sat. 1‑4, Stephanie Rachford 252‑5229 501 Brinkerhoff Ave, 2BD/1BA, $699,000, Sun. 1‑4, Goodwin & Thyne Properties, Anthony Bordin, 805‑729‑0527 843 Calle Cortita, 3BD/2.5BA, $899,000, Sat 12‑3, Goodwin & Thyne Properties, PJ Williams, 805‑403‑0585

Home & Garden will publish September 18

918 Garcia Road, 3BD/2BA, Sun. 1‑4, 722‑0322

$1,495,000, Wolfe/Lomas

925 Weldon Rd., 3BD/2.5BA, $829,000, Sun. 1‑4, Goodwin & Thyne Properties, Will Stonecipher, 805‑450‑4821


SUMMER MOVE‑IN SPECIALS:1BD near SBCC & beach @ Carla Apts NP. 530 W Cota $1050 Rosa 965‑3200

Apartments & Condos For Rent

1214 Del Mar Ave, 4BD/4BA, $1,180,000, Sat & Sun 1-4, Dave Reading 218-1555

FALL MOVE‑IN $1050 1BD Corner of Hope & San Remo‑N State St‑Barbara Apts Quiet NP 687‑0610 FALL Move‑In Specials‑Studios $1050+ & 1BDs $1150+ in beautiful garden setting! Pool, lndry & off‑street parking at Michelle Apartments. 340 Rutherford St. NP. Call Erin 967‑6614 FALL MOVE‑IN Specials. 2BDs $1470+ & 3BD flat or townhouses $2190. Near UCSB, shops, park, beach, theater, golf. Sesame Tree Apts 6930 Whittier Dr. Hector 968‑2549 FALL MOVE‑IN SPECIALS: 1BD Near Cottage Hospital. 519 W Alamar. Set among beautiful oak trees across the street from Oak Park. NP. $1050. Call Cristina 687‑0915

september 12

Rooms For Rent

Good Deal in the Good Land

Clean, quiet, healthy Goleta home has a room for rent. Good neighborhood, cozy yards and beautiful gardens. Reasonable rent. Safe environment. 805‑685‑0611

Shared Housing ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.­com! (AAN CAN) Class: Roommate Services

Coastal Hideaways (805) 969-1995 Luxury Vacation Rentals Short or Long Term Serving the Santa Barbara community for 18 years


Service Directory Domestic Services


If you want to see your house really clean call 682‑6141;385‑9526 SBs Best

Educational Services

Advertising deadline

Sold Out, Thanks Goleta!! 1 BDRM Townhouse Near Beach Parking $1275/month. 968‑2011. VISIT MODEL.

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866‑413‑6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST COURSE For: Ads . TV . Film . Fashion 40% OFF TUITION ‑ SPECIAL $1990 ‑ Train & Build Portfolio . One Week Course Details at: 818‑980‑2119 (AAN CAN)

Professional Services

Home Services

DID YOU KNOW 7 IN 10 Americans or 158 million U.S. Adults read content from newspaper media each week? Discover the Power of Newspaper Advertising. For a free brochure call 916‑288‑6011 or email cecelia@cnpa. com (Cal‑SCAN)

GARDENING LANDSCAPING: Comm/ Res.FREE Estimate.Yard clean‑up,maint, garbage, lawns, hauling & sprinklers.15 +yrs.Juan Jimenez 452‑5220, 968‑0041

Personal Services

55 Yrs or Older?

Need Help At Home? Call REAL HELP because this Non‑profit matches workers to your needs. 965‑1531 PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 1‑877‑879‑4709 (Cal‑SCAN)

DID YOU KNOW 144 million U.S. Adults read a Newspaper print copy each week? Discover the Power of Newspaper Advertising. For a free brochure call 916‑288‑6011 or email cecelia@cnpa. com (Cal‑SCAN)

DID YOU KNOW Newspaper‑generated content is so valuable it’s taken and repeated, condensed, broadcast, tweeted, discussed, posted, copied, edited, and emailed countless times throughout the day by others? Discover the Power of Newspaper Advertising. For a free brochure call 916‑288‑6011 or email (Cal‑SCAN) DID YOU KNOW that not only does newspaper media reach a HUGE Audience, they also reach an ENGAGED AUDIENCE. Discover the Power of

Newspaper Advertising. For a free brochure call 916‑288‑6011 or email (Cal‑SCAN)

Technical Services

EEOICPA CLAIM DENIED? Diagnosed with cancer or another illness working for DOE in U.S. Nuclear Weapons Program? You may be entitled to $150,000 to $400,000. Call Attorney Hugh Stephens 855‑957‑2200. 2495 Main St., Suite 442, Buffalo, NY. (Cal‑SCAN)

Virus/Spyware Removal, Install/ Repair, Upgrades, Troubleshoot, Set‑up, Tutor, Networks, Best rates! Matt 682‑0391


If you or a loved one suffered a stroke, heart attack or died after using testosterone supplements you may be entitled to monetary damages. Call 877‑884‑5213. (Cal‑SCAN)

Maintenance (Weekly, Monthly or 1x) Sprinkler Systems • Tree Service Yard Cleanups • Plant Care & Planting Quality Handyman Services Pressure Washing • Great rates 805-698-8302

Gardenings, Landscape & Tree Specialist Commercial & Residential

20 Yrs Experience, Free Estimates No job too big or small Save $! • FREE Mulch

Jose Jimenez - Lic. 042584 (805) 636-8732

Contact your advertising rep today 805.965.5205 •

Tide Guide Day


Thu 28 Fri 29












Sat 30





Sun 31





Mon 1





Tue 2





Wed 3






Thu 4

23 D

Sunrise 6:31 Sunset 7:26






August 28, 2014





OPEN SUN 1-4pm

National Reach, Local Experts, Outstanding Results

Thinking of Buying?


Goodwin & Thyne Properties provides national marketing reach coupled with the highest level of local real estate expertise. • Exceptional Personal Service • Top Producing Realtors® • Custom Marketing Plans • Effective Selling Strategies

• Unique Team Approach • In-house Attorneys • Lower Commission • Outstanding Results

We intentionally take lower profits and pass the savings on to our clients through lower commissions. Goodwin & Thyne Properties delivers the highest value in professional real estate services available. Take the first step in your next successful real estate transaction. Call us today!

(805) 899-1100




chances to own this charming C2 zoned mixed use property in the Historical Brinkerhoff District on a corner lot. Excellent investment for an owner and business.

SANTA BARBARA Quiet & peaceful 2nd floor unit w/ mtn. views! New paint, carpet & more. Private deck, 1BD/1BA Riviera model flr plan. Complex has pool, spa, fitness center, tennis courts & gated 24-hr security







MONTECITO Luxurious 5BD/6BA home ready to be built. Views of the ocean & islands. (PRICE WHEN COMPLETE)

SANTA BARBARA Outstanding 2





OPEN SAT 12-3pm

OPEN SUN 1-4pm

story duplex in the heart of downtown SB w/ 3 car garage. Peabody School.

NEW LISTING MONTECITO Located in prestigious “Ennisbrook”, this 1.55 acre parcel is located across from a private 2-acre grass park

SUMMERLAND Income opportunity. 4/3 and 1/1, ocean views, laundry, parking. Vacation or ongoing rental.

SANTA BARBARA 4BD/2.5BA downtown home. Hardwood floors, backyard sanctuary w/ hot tub & more!


SANTA BARBARA Moorish Oasis on the Mesa. Work to be done but has soaking pools, sauna, stone oven & more!

SANTA BARBARA Contemporary, 3BD/2.5BA home, 2 car garage. 1700+ sq ft living space, wood flrs, & more!











OPEN SUN 1-3pm



GOLETA 4BD/2BA home in quiet neighborhood close to parks. Large kitchen, big back yard & much more!

SANTA BARBARA Located in Wash-

over 6 acres 20 min to SB. 4BD/2.52BA on a private Creekside setting.








North 3BD/2BA. Upper unit, updated, custom tile & wood flrs, pool. & more!

Condo w/ updated kitchen & baths. Hardwood flrs, & much more!






ington School District, 2BD/1BA home w/ eat-in area kitchen & much more!

PENDING SANTA MARIA 76 acre parcel with

SANTA BARBARA 2006 construction 2BD/2BA, bamboo floors, dual pane, deck, garage. Convenient location.







7630 HOLLISTER AVE. #120

mercial/Residential. Front yard, side patio, detached garage. Priced to sell.

potential for home sites, horses and farming. Easy access to and from Cat Canyon

OPEN SUN 1-4pm

SANTA BARBARA 2BD/1BA Private & secluded townhome near East Beach. Close to conveniences.



There has never been a better time to buy in Santa Barbara than NOW! NEW LISTING


GOLETA Large & bright 2BD upstairs unit. Hardwood flrs, balcony w/ sunsets & mountain views. Rental OK.

LOMPOC Flat, level, .9 acre commercial



BRE# 01477382

SANTA BARBARA Updated 2BD/1.5BA home on cul-de sac, updated kitchen, cathedral ceilings, loft & more.

lot in sought out area. Close to airport & businesses. Perfect for owner/investor.

Call us to help you find the right property.

GOLETA 1BD/1BA, single level home in complex w/ pool, sauna, gym & more. Near shopping, etc. $349,000 2000 State Street, Santa Barbara 805.899.1100

Santa Barbara Independent, 08/28/14  

August 28, 2014, Vol. 28, No. 450

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