College Newsletter Issue 2 / 23 May 2017 From the Principal Do you have a child who automatically assumes the worst case scenario in any risky or new situation? If so, you have a catastrophiser on your hands. This is a “phenomenon” which by my reckoning as an educator is on the increase (and not just in children). At St Andrews, we talk a lot about developing and practising a “Growth Mindset”. In overly simple terms, it refers to a consistent, insistent and persistent determination around a “you (I) can do it” attitude, approaching tasks with a sense of optimistic purpose. In contrast, catastophisers exaggerate their worries and place enormous pressure on themselves. Their default position in their thinking goes to the most negative outcome possible. The results won’t just be bad, they’ll be catastrophic! “If I don’t do well in this test, my uni application is a waste of time”. They won’t just fall over in a game. They’ll break a leg, end up in hospital and miss out on school camp … or so they say. They won’t just be rebuked by a teacher for arriving late to school. They’ll be kept in at lunchtime, miss out on sport and have all other kids making fun of them … or so they say. Catastrophising makes kids (and adults) feel miserable. Worse, they often don’t want to do anything or experience new opportunities and personal challenges because they expect the worst possible outcome. So what do you do with a catastrophiser? Your approach, as with all things, will depend to some extent on the child’s age. Under fives generally don’t overtly catastrophise, however even young children can be negative. Ensure you model upbeat, positive thinking. Being a significant adult in the life of a child carries wide-ranging responsibilities, and presenting the world as an exciting, positive place full of opportunity is just one of those responsibilities! School-aged children need to be encouraged to keep things in perspective. Challenge a child’s propensity to catastrophise. Here are a number of practical methods which may be used to challenge a child’s catastrophic thinking: •
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What’s the most likely scenario? Sometimes it’s useful to introduce a dose of old-fashioned ‘rational thinking’. “Yes, you may break your leg, but it’s unlikely”. That’s unhelpful thinking. Sometimes kids’ thinking is so out of step with reality that they become anxious
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about minor things. Thinking such as “everyone must like me”, “I must not make a mistake”, and “bad things always happen to me” are extreme and need to be replaced with more moderate, realistic thoughts … “It would be nice if everyone liked me but not everyone will. It’s important to have some good friends”. Replace extreme words for feelings with more moderate descriptors. Today’s kids talk in extremes – awesome, sick and gross roll off their tongues easily. Extreme language leads to extreme thinking. Encourage kids to replace “I’m furious” with “I’m annoyed”, “it’s a disaster” with “it’s a pain”, or “I hate it” with “I don’t like it”. Sounds minor, but by changing kids’ language you change how they think about events and more importantly, how they feel.
I suspect that many parents will identify strongly with some of the above. Perhaps it is even an opportunity to consider our own turn of phrase/modelling. We all catastrophise from time to time, particularly when under pressure. As is often the case, the key in the first instance is to be consciously ‘on guard’. David Bliss Principal
Chaplains Chat Your love will never stop chasing after me…. This is the chorus of a song by Urban Rescue that Middle and Senior School sing periodically in chapel. It paints a picture of our God pursuing us. It is the reassurance that God longs to connect with us in a meaningful and significant way. Unfortunately, our natural inclination is to turn away from Him. We tend to be proud people who feel we can make it on our own. We don’t need God holding us up and directing us. We want to be self-reliant, where we decide what is best for us, make our own decisions and then live with the consequences. Our God certainly calls us to work hard and to be self-sufficient. We are not to be lazy and become a burden on others but He does desire that we call out to Him for guidance and to work closely with others, not simply just look out for ourselves, or worse, in competition with our neighbour. As we live in God’s presence and pursue His will, community is built. God’s love is enacted in the world. God endeavours to work this in the St Andrews community, day in and day