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Issue 01/ 07 February 2014

Middle & Senior School News The start of the College year brings with it endless possibilities. At this time of year, I get excited about many things and one of them, is the anticipation of what lies ahead and the reconnection with students that marks the start of the school year. May our theme for the year; Educating Hearts, Minds and Hands remind us that Christ calls each of us to explore, grow and share our gifts with an open heart, an active mind and helping hands.

the College promptly so that information is accurate in the event of emergency and to ensure students do not miss opportunities for excursions. Regular contact with your child(ren)’s teachers helps to form strong partnerships for learning and supports the young people in our care as they grow, develop and learn. Teacher emails are easily accessible through Parent Lounge and the student diary is also a wonderful communication tool. Please sign the diary weekly. The Carpark Carpark congestion is a challenge for all schools, and we certainly experience congestion for a relatively short period of time each afternoon (3.10pm – 3.25pm). All members of the community are asked to be vigilant, patient and focused on the safety of the students while driving in and around the College grounds. (Stay focused, observe general traffic rules and don’t respond to messages or calls on mobiles.) Students should be collected from outside the Worship Centre and beyond the crossing. I strongly recommend a delayed pickup for our Middle and Senior school students. The afternoon bell goes at 3.10pm and, in general, it takes about 5 minutes for students to travel to the Worship Centre. All secondary students are also welcome to use the library (CRC) for purposeful study after school until 5.00pm daily. Afternoon tutorials and study assistance is available.

Partnerships for Learning It seems fitting at the start of the year to remind parents that my door is always open to you. As a College, we really value the partnership that exists between parents, staff and students. I encourage you to email me at virginiaw@salc. qld.edu.au or to call or stop by the office if you wish to talk about any aspect of your child(ren)’s College experiences. Reading the information sent home in the bulletins and newsletters, as well as visiting the College website regularly are also vital to ensuring you are up to date with events and news from the College. Last week we launched Parent Lounge, and if you are yet to logon, I encourage you to do so. As with all our new initiatives, we are very open to feedback as we continue to work towards improving the educational experiences on offer at St Andrews. I know in the first week we hit a few glitches, and I’d like to thank parents for their support and notifications. A gentle reminder to all families about accessing and submitting the electronic forms and permission notes to

Can I also ask parents to be cautious and considerate, by obeying the traffic rules around the College and in particular on Tallebudgera Creek Rd. We are blessed to be nested into a residential area and our neighbours have expressed concerns about cars parking too close to driveways, and illegal right hand turns and Uturns performed while exiting the grounds. Whilst I appreciate that we are all busy, maintaining a sense of cheerfulness and patience when congestion occurs is best for all involved. Ensuring the safety of our children is our collective responsibility. Parent Information Sessions Thank you to all of the families who attended our Parent Information Sessions this week. If you were unable to attend, the materials covered can be accessed through Parent Lounge.

New Staff We are blessed with exceptional staff at St Andrews and this year, we have appointed some new staff to our teaching team. Ms Tara Bible Ms Tara Bible grew up in country Victoria and moved to the beautiful Gold Coast with her family 9 years ago. Since finishing school and in between studying, she spent several years living, working and enjoying life in Germany. She is looking forward to sharing her knowledge of German language and culture with the students. Tara completed her teacher training as an English and Language specialist here at St Andrews and we are delighted to welcome her to our teaching team. Guten Tag! (Tara will be teaching German and English.) Mrs Tamlyn Jones As St Andrews new Legal Studies teacher, Ms Tamlyn Jones brings her experience in investigations and policing to the classroom. She has a Bachelor of Justice Studies from the Queensland University of Technology majoring in investigations and policing. Since graduating, Tamlyn has worked both as a police officer and as an investigator for the Queensland government. In 2013 she completed her Graduate Diploma of Education with QUT and is excited to begin her teaching career with us at St Andrews. Tamlyn is looking forward to getting to know the students and their parents over the coming months. (Tamlyn will be teaching Legal Studies and SOSE.) Mr Brendan Smith Mr Brendan Smith was raised on a sugar cane farm in North Queensland where the values of persistence, gratitude and integrity were central to his upbringing. He has a love for all things sports related and completed his Education degree in conjunction with a Sports and Exercise Science degree. Brendan has been fortunate to both study and work both in America and in Australia and comes to us from All Saints Anglican School. He is currently learning the art of surfing and is looking forward to meeting many members of the community in the coming year. (Brendan will be teaching Middle School Mathematics, Science and HPE.) Mrs Andree Bemet Originally from the Gold Coast, Ms Andree Bemet has spent the past 10 years living in Hong Kong where she was employed as the Head of Art at a British International School. In that time, she was fortunate enough to have completed a Masters of Fine Art

with the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology specialising in printmaking and photography. Whilst she thoroughly enjoyed her teaching experience within the International system, Andree is delighted to be home and is very much looking forward to working with the students at St Andrews and within the QLD curriculum framework once again. (Andree will be teaching Visual Arts.) Karling MacAskill Karling MacAskill is passionate about design and has a Bachelor Degree in Industrial Design from the Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design in Vancouver, Canada. She worked as an Industrial Designer for White Water West for 2 years after graduating where she designed and themed waterparks to create family fun all around the world, including Wet and Wild on the Gold Coast! In 2012 she completed her Masters in Teaching and began her new career as a high school teacher working in Mackay as an ITD and Graphics teacher. She absolutely adores the subject area and is looking forward to becoming a part of the St Andrews community. (Karling will be teaching ITD and Graphics.) I pray that each of our students and teachers continue to work towards achieving excellence and their personal best in all aspects of their development; confident in the knowledge that they are loved and supported by God, by their families, and by their teachers and peers. Individually and as a collective, may our students continue to seek opportunities to make significant contributions within and beyond our community. Every blessing Virginia Warner Deputy Principal Head of Secondary School

Senior School News Welcome back to a new school year. It promises to be very busy and exciting and I am looking forward to working with students, parents and staff, particularly, our three new Year Level Coordinators; Mr Nelson (Year 10), Miss Yeo (Year 11) and Mrs Washington (Year 12) to ensure that it is a productive and rewarding experience in the Senior School. In the last year we have utilised Learning Advisor Group (LAG), Year Level Meetings and Assemblies to address issues around wellbeing and enhancing academic performance through the use of Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology is a relatively new field of psychology that focuses on the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive, lead fulfilling lives, cultivate what is best within themselves and to enhance their experiences of love, work and play (Positive Psychology Centre). The skills

and values of Positive Psychology have been incorporated into the Senior School Pastoral Care Program along with communication, time management and organisational activities. For example in LAG this term you can expect your child to have: • Downloaded their assessment calendar (Moodle) and worked through a hard copy of the Semester 1 Calendar so they can visually see on one page what is coming up. • Written Term 1 Goals in their Student Diary - ask them to share the goals with you as they become more powerful when shared. • Identified target Effort Point Average (EPA) and Grade Point Average (GPA) as part of their goals. This becomes an important part of aiming for one’s Personal Bests (PB’s). • Completed a Beginning Year Survey which asks them to identify their long term goals, attitudes as a learner and current learning practices. These are reviewed each year and the Year 12’s will receive theirs as they graduate. • Completed their 3 Good Things (weekly) • Completed the Character Strengths Survey (mid-term) and it would be great if our parents could also log in and register to complete the survey. There are many other questionnaires and all the data is used to further the research base at the Positive Psychology Centre. You can find the questionnaires on the following link http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx Part of the process of supporting your child is the clear and consistent communication between, parent, student and teacher. We hope that you feel free to contact us with your concerns or questions and you can expect regular communication from your student’s Learning Advisor and when the need arises his/her classroom teachers. The College is also implementing the Dimensions of Learning Framework which encompasses the 16 Habits of Mind which will complement the Positive Psychology approach. Teaching the Habits of Mind to our students is yet another way that St Andrews takes learning and the education of our students seriously. The Habits of Mind refer simply to ‘how successful people go about using their minds well’ (Anderson, 2010, p14). This term we will be focusing on the Habits of: • • • •

Persisting – Stick with it, persevere (Use a catchcry like: I can’t understand this YET!) Thinking Interdependently – Work together (essential for our Year 12’s in preparation for the QCS Test) Thinking and Communicating with Clarity and Precision. Managing Impulsivity – Take your time, think before acting.

Teachers will be concentrating on these Habits in classes so that there is a clear and consistent message for our students. In the coming terms the other 12 Habits will be taught and receive intentional focus in class.

Students who drive to College are reminded that the ‘Permission to Drive Form’ must be completed and lodged at SS Admin. Please note that any students who also travel in the vehicle must be named on the form and have signed permission from their parent/guardian. In closing I would like to share with you my 3 Good Things for the first week back: 1. Seeing all those happy, shiny and excited faces as the Senior School embraced the first week of 2014. 2. Working with the three Year Level Coordinators to bring the students an exciting and meaningful Pastoral Care Program. 3. Our first Senior Leaders Meeting and observing the energy, passion and enthusiasm shown for continual improvement and making St Andrews a better school for its students. It is going to be a great year. If you have any concerns or queries please contact me on tanias@salc.qld.edu.au Tania Stewart Head of Senior School

Middle School News Welcome Welcome back to all of our returning Middle School community and a special welcome to anyone joining St Andrews for the first time in 2014. After the deluge during the first week last year it has been a pleasure to return with (largely) sunny skies, uninterrupted classes and dry students. I hope that it is a wonderful year for you and your families. A few procedural matters in order to make the start of the year as smooth as possible: • Middle School Administration is located upstairs in ‘D’ Block adjacent to the Junior School Administration and staffed by Ms Christie Jestrimski (formerly Ms De Silva). • Year Level Coordinators should be the first point of contact for specific information regarding a year level. They are in Year 7 - Mrs Lisa Roper, Year 8 - Ms Colleen Dockstader (formerly Ijurco) and Year 9 - Mr Christophe Tanguy. • Sports uniform should only be worn to and from the College on weekly sport days, ie, Thursday for Years 8 & 9 and Friday for Year 7. • Please check and sign your child’s diary weekly in order to facilitate regular communication between the College and home. Partnerships for Learning As a teacher I will have seen thousands of students throughout the course of my career and (hopefully) have developed a broad knowledge base upon which to make decisions about how I can best assist the education of my own children – although, of course, there are no guarantees. I am very conscious that parenting adolescent children can be a wonderful but potentially isolating experi-

ence for the vast majority of parents whose professions do not bring them into daily contact with children beyond their own and perhaps some of their child’s friends. Accordingly I hope to offer a series of evenings throughout the year where we can gather and discuss some of the questions that appear to have plagued parents throughout the years. Possible topics include; ‘helping with homework’, ‘encouraging to read’, ‘socializing’, and ‘the world of social media’. If you can think of something that you believe would be a relevant topic for parents then please let me know via email at tomc@salc.qld.edu.au Tom Casey Head of Middle School tomc@salc.qld.edu.au

Chaplains Chat Welcome back to all the existing ‘St Andrews families’ and an extra special welcome to all the families new to the St Andrews community. We trust everyone has experienced refreshment over the Christmas season as we took time to celebrate God’s gift to us of himself so that we might know, once and for all, how much he loves us. We look forward to sharing the year ahead as we grow in living lives that are surrounded by God’s love and held within His hands. This year we have set down the theme of educating Mind, Heart and Hands and it so important to recognise this in all that we do. There is a saying that goes - ‘Another day, another dollar’ and working from the perspective of just how crucial our heart is in all that we do goes a long way to negating such dead end, counterproductive mindsets.

Carreers News Year 10, 11 and 12 students and parents with any enquiries about electives, school based traineeships, university pathways are reminded that they are welcome to organise a meeting with Mrs Wrigley either by emailing her directly or by phoning senior administration to make an appointment. Year 10 Destinations On the morning of Monday 24 February from 8.30am until 12.30pm all Year 10 students will take part in the first of specially designated careers events for the year. Each student will take part in four workshops covering Career Pathways, the Australian Tax System, Writing Letters of Application and Producing a Professional Resume. The easy way to get a tax file number The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) offers students the opportunity to apply for a tax file number (TFN) through school. This is a voluntary program and makes it easier for students to obtain a TFN. Students need a TFN for employment, applying for Centrelink benefits, opening a bank account or deferring university fees. Applying for a TFN through school is easier because students do not need to show identifying documentation to the ATO. During the Australian Tax System presentation by the ATO on Monday 24 February students will be given the TFN application form which they will be able to fill out either at the workshop or to take home to complete and return to school. The form requires information such as the student’s name, address and date of birth. Students also need to provide the following details: • • • •

Our wonderful God is concerned about our hearts, minds and hands and He knows just how important it is for all aspects of our lives to be healthy. Sharing our lives with Him through an intimate daily relationship is how he designed us to live. He has so much He longs to share with us but He relies on us having open hearts, minds and hands so that we may receive his gifts of love and wisdom. He does not force these upon us. My hope is that each of us may grow in receiving God’s love and flourish as his kids. There is the most beautiful peace and joy to experience as we anchor our lives upon God’s promises. 2014 will be a great year of celebrating this fact and encouraging each other in our walk together as community. Graeme Schache Chaplain

students born in Australia will need to provide theirbirth certificate number, state of issue and year of registration, or Australian passport number and date of issue. students born overseas will need to provide their overseas passport number and country of issue, or Australian citizenship certificate number and date of issue, or Australian passport number and date of issue.

PLEASE NOTE: Students do NOT need to bring these documents to school, they simply need to supply the details and numbers on the application form. All information provided on the form will remain confidential. The school will certify the application form by crosschecking against the information held on their records. Students are not required to show identifying documentation to the school or the ATO. Students will receive their TFN via a notification letter sent to their postal address, within 28 days of the application being received by the ATO. Christina Wrigley Head of Teaching and Learning christina@salc.qld.edu.au

Sport News

Art News Performing Arts Tuition 2014 PAT Lessons commenced in Week 2. Parents will be contacted by their PAT Teacher to confirm lesson times. Timetables for MS/SS students are available on Moodle and are also on the PAT Studio Windows. Any parents wishing to enrol in PAT, enrolment forms are accessable via the College Website. Any enquiries regarding PAT can be emailed to performingarts@salc.qld.edu.au

Bands, Choirs and Dance Troupes commenced in Week 2

Rehearsal Schedule

Mon

Before School

Concert Band 7.45am RBT MS/SS Choir 7.30am J17 JS 1st Break Lunch / JS 2nd Break

Afterschool 3.30 – 5.30pm Musical RBT 3.30 – 4.30pm Drama Festival J24

Tues

Wed

Thurs

Fri

Golden Clefs Mini Musos 7.45am 7.30am JS Music Room RBT Semitones 7.45am JS Music Room

ICB 7.45am RBT Jazz Troupe 7.45am J24 JS Chapel Band JS Music Room

Musical Dancers RBT JS Chapel Band JS Music Room

Contemporary Dance Troupe

Jazz Band 3.30 – 4.30 RBT

JS Dance Troupe RBT String Ensemble 3.15 – 4 Utility Room

Gold Coast Theatre Awards 2013 In December 2013, the Gold Coast Area Theatre Awards were held to acknowledge outstanding efforts and achievements in the Gold Coast Theatre Community over the previous year. Past student Ethan Jones (2010) won Best Vocal Director and Best Set Design for Into the Woods (which also went on to win Most Outstanding Production). Kim Reynolds was acknowledged for her outstanding contribution to GC Theatre with The Platinum Palm Award for constant support for students in theatre and eisteddfods; for direction, choreography and costume design and for advancing all forms of theatre on the Gold Coast. Congratulations to Kim and Ethan on their outstanding achievements. Priscilla Scott Head of Arts

District Sport Trials Don’t forget to email Mr Manion if you are interested in attending District Sport trials in 2014. Reminders will be in Student Notices, the Parent Lounge and the College website. District Swimming Trials The GCS Carnival for 10-12 year old swimmers is at Somerset College on Tuesday 18th February and the IDSS Carnival for 13 – 19 year old swimmers is at TSS on Wednesday. 19th February. Any students who wish to participate in these must register with Mr Manion to collect a selection application form. Successful students will be notified and further information will then be supplied. St Andrews Swimming Carnivals Years 7-12 Thursday 27th February Years 4-6 Friday 28th February More information will be circulated soon. Run Club Our Run Club Coach, past St Andrews Student JK Faulkner, is looking forward to working with our runners again this year. Run Club will be held on Mondays and Thursdays beginning Week 6 (Monday 3rd March). Members should meet at the Top Oval at 7am. Sessions will go for approximately one hour. Members will be able to purchase the running club singlet and receive achievement awards for attendance and km run. Students interested in joining Run Club require an information pack which will include a permission form. This will be available very soon. We hope to see an impressive turn out this year as Run Club is a great way to train for the Cross Country, Track and Field Carnivals, Kokoda and a way of generally improving your health and wellbeing. Run Club caters for families of all students in Years 4-12 no matter what your needs and abilities are. In2Cricket program Our In2Cricket program starts on Wednesday 26th February, from 3.10pm in the MPH. It will run each Wednesday after school until April 2nd. (6 weeks) More details soon. Student Achievement Already in 2014 we have some amazing sporting achievements to celebrate. Triathlon At least seven St Andrews students have qualified for the State Triathlon Championships. Congratulations to; Ella Atkinson, William Atkinson, Kieran Croker, Kye Wylde, Connor Dougherty, Lachlan Richards, and Kane Richards. Futsal Morgan Atkins is part of the Queensland Girls Futsal Acad-

emy that is presently in the USA. Morgan is competing for Queensland at the USA Youth National Futsal Championships. This competition has some of the best teams the USA has to offer in the Under 16 girls division.

Design Tech News Cricket Kye Shield was recently selected as co-captain of a Gold Coast Under 12s Junior Representative Cricket team. He was awarded top bowling performance at the Qld Junior Championships (5 days) playing for Gold Coast with a strike rate of 5.00, best 5/7, out of 100 rep level players. Kye also made the “My Cricket Hall of Fame” for bowling. He was also selected as captain of the Gold Coast Juniors and selected to play against the Northern NSW representative touring team. He won man of the match on day three and took three wickets in one of his overs. Kye has also just been awarded sponsorship by Cricket supplier KD Cricket in Brisbane for his outstanding efforts.

Welcome back to the new year from our new-look D & T department! I’ll be providing parents with updates throughout the year on what exciting things we are up to in our workshop and Graphics classrooms. The Year 10 Graphics & Technology class and Year 12 Graphics class have hit the ground running this term. In week one both classes began by collecting data to use for their Engineering and Production Graphics Units. The Year 10’s came up with ways to test various materials and think creatively about different ways to use the materials, while the Year 12’s collected ergonomic and anthropometric data. Both of these activities linked in really well with Habit’s of Mind as students had to show they were Thinking Flexibly and gathering Data through all Senses.

Equestrian Mikayla Van Kampen recently travelled to Melbourne to compete at the Australian National Equestrian Championships, representing QLD in the junior rider division. Mikayla was awarded National Champion. Mikayla is also a finalist in the Junior Equestrian Sports Star of the Year, which will be announced on the 8th of February 2014. Surfing – Ex-Students Ellie Brooks and Luke Hynd (both Year 12 at St Andrews in 2013) recently captained the Queensland Junior Surfing Team to 1st place in the National Team and Individual Championships in Kiama.

The Year 10’s are especially looking forward to getting their teeth stuck into the designing, prototyping and testing of their Road Sign Gantries (with the objective of having the highest strength to weight ratio). Did you know? Anthropometry is the study of human sizes, while ergonomics is the study of human comfort. Luke placed 3rd in the under 18 boys and has been selected to represent Australia at World Junior Surfing titles in Ecuador in April 2014. Elle Brooks placed 5th in the girls’ event. Andrew Manion Head of Sport andrewm@salc.qld.edu.au

Robert Wecker Head of Design Tech robertw@salc.qld.edu.au

Uniformshop News Formal Hats - Recall It has been brought to our attention that the logo on some formal hat bands has been printed in reverse. The hats affected were most likely purchased after November 2013. If you have a formal hat with this problem please email uniformshop@salc.qld.edu.au The Uniform Shop will collect these hats at the end of the term, have new hat bands fitted over the holidays and return them to you at the start of Term 2. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Flexischools Our Flexischools on-line ordering system is proving very popular. Just a note - if you are ordering for more than 1 student, please place the order under the name of the student that you want the order delivered to. Flexischools charge a $1 fee for each uniform order, so if you order under 1 name you will also only pay the fee once. Volunteers We are looking for volunteers for Thursday and Friday mornings from 8am. You can usually leave by 8.45am but if you can stay later we have plenty of things you can help us with. Please phone, email or drop in if you can help. Jacqui Desfosses Uniform Shop Manager uniformshop@salc.qld.edu.au

Tuckshop News Welcome to Term 1. Hope you all had a wonderful break. This year is an exciting one for us with the opening of the new Tuckshop later in the year. We will be able to cook and provide you with a wider variety of fresh foods and drinks once we move into a bigger, more functional kitchen and production area. Until then, we will run with the menu from last term. Flexi School Online ordering is preferred Monday â€“ Friday. To register go to www.flexischools.com.au, for families who have already have accounts; please update your childâ€™s class for this year. Your help in this matter is greatly appreciated. Volunteers play a huge part of the Tuckshops daily operation. If you are available to help out, please contact me on tuckshop@salc.qld.edu.au Trina van der Kamp Tuckshop Manager tuckshop@salc.qld.edu.au

Dates to remember February Tuesday 11 Year 7 Orientation Camp Year 12 PE Excursion GC Surf Museum Wednesday 12 Year 7 Orientation Camp Year 11 Legal Excursion Brisbane Supreme Court (All Day) Girls with a Purpose Program 7.00am-8.30am (selected Yr 11 & 12 female students) Thursday 13 Year 12 Biology Camp Friday 14 Year 12 Biology Camp GC District Swim Carnival, Somerset College MS Academic Awards Assembly 8.30am in WC Year 12 Accounting Forum Excursion QUT (All Day) Wednesday 19 Girls with a Purpose Program 7.00am-8.30am (selected Yr 11 & 12 female students) Years 7-12 IDSS (District) Swim Carnival, TSS Friday 21 Years 7-12 Assembly 8.30am WC Year 12 QCS Workshop

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by Michael Grose - No. 1 parenting educator

The language of resilient families Children and adults in resilient families tune into the needs of each other, choosing situation-specific language, rather than simply regurgitating generalised ‘feel-good’ or ‘get-on-with-it’ platitudes. kids who feel overwhelmed; kids who experience rejection; perfectionists The ability to compartmentalise bad events and keep them from affecting all areas of life is a powerful coping skill. Sportspeople, politicians and others who work in the public arena need to be adept at it. When something unpleasant happens during recess, for example, kids need to park their thinking about that event so they can get on with the rest of the day. The ability to compartmentalise thinking is a fantastic life skill kids can learn within their family. 3. “Let’s take a break.” Strategy: distraction Good for: kids experiencing stressful situations; kids who think too much; kids with busy lives. When kids are troubled by events or spend too much time brooding it helps to do something to get their minds off things for a time. Playing games, spending time together, watching some TV, going out – are all good distracters for worried, anxious or stressed kids. Self-distraction is healthy, providing some welcome perspective. It also prevents kids from replaying awful experiences in their heads, blowing them out Resilient families develop their own words and phrases to help each other

of proportion.

get through the inevitable tough times that each person experiences. The 4. “Who have you spoken to about this?” Strategy: seeking help Good for:

language of resilience generally refers to coping strategies such as

kids who experience bullying and social problems; handling all types of

empathy, humour and acceptance.

personal worries. Following are 10 examples of the language of resilience, the coping skills each reflects and the types of situations where they are applicable.

Resilient people seek solace in the company of others when they experience difficulty. That’s why social connection is such a strong

1. “Come on, laugh it off.” Strategy: humour Good for: kids who experience

preventative strategy for young people. The promotion of help-seeking

disappointment, failure and even loss.

behaviours is one of the best coping strategies of all. Even if kids don’t

Humour is a great coping strategy and a powerful tool for resilience as it heightens feelings of control. Some children and young people will naturally crack jokes or make fun of seemingly serious situations. This is

overtly talk about what’s bothering them, it can be immensely reassuring to spend time around others who are empathetic, understanding and willing to listen and help.

a fantastic way to release stress and handle feelings of helplessness. As a

5. “I know it looks bad now but you will get through this.” Strategy: offering

parent you may need to lighten up tense situations by introducing humour

hope Good for: kids experiencing loss, bullying, change or

of your own, which is something that many dads do really well.

extreme disappointment.

2. “Don’t let this spoil everything.” Strategy: containing thinking Good for:

There are times when parents can do nothing else but keep their children’s Page 1 of 2

parentingideas.com.au

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Michael Grose Presentations PO Box 167 Balnarring Vic 3926 p + 61 3 5983 1798 f (03) 5983 1722 e office@parentingideas.com.au All rights reserved. For more ideas, support and advice for all your parenting challenges please visit our website. 2013 Michael Grose

facebook.com/Parentingideas.com.au twitter.com/michaelgrose

chins up and encourage them when life doesn’t go their way. Being the

“I can’t stand it” with “I don’t like it”. Realistic language leads to realistic

‘hope’ person can be hard work, that’s why parents need to be supported

thinking, which helps kids handle many ordinary situations that they have

by resilient people and workplaces too. It helps to be mindful that a child

blown out of proportion.

or young person’s resilience is nurtured by the presence of at least one supportive adult. You may have to be that person!

10. “What can we do about this?” Strategy: taking action Good for: kids who mope; who experience disappointment; who feel inadequate.

6. “What can you learn from this so it doesn’t happen next time?” Strategy:

Kids can sometimes feel overwhelmed by events such as constant failure,

positive reframing Good for: kids who make mistakes, let others down

constant rejection or always narrowly missing being picked for a team.

or experience personal disappointment

They can be overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and helplessness.

One of the common attributes of optimistic people is their ability to find

Action is often the best remedy. Help them take the first step forward.

a learning, or look for a message, in difficult or negative situations.

Set some goals. Make some plans. Identify the first step and hold their

Parents can help kids reframe events to help them see things differently.

hand while they take it. Taking action is a quality shared by resilient

For instance, rather than regarding a public speaking opportunity as

communities, organisations and individuals.

problematic and a chance to look foolish it’s better to reframe it as

Bring resilience into your every day language

a challenge and a chance to shine. It also helps when parents model

Resilient parents focus on building children’s and young people’s strengths

reframing so kids see you changing how you view seemingly negative

for the future, while helping them cope with the present difficulties and

or worrying situations.

challenges they experience.

7. “Don’t worry – relax and see what happens!” Strategy: acceptance

The key to promoting resilience lies in the language that parents use. My

Good for: kids who worry about exams or performing poorly in any

challenge for parents is to make resilience an integral part of your family’s

endeavour; pessimists.

proprietary language. You’ll know you have succeeded if your children as

If you’ve ever been driving to an important event only to be stuck in traffic

adults remind you, when they hear any complaints or whinges from you in

then you would know that there are some situations you just can’t control.

your dotage, to ‘hang in there’, ‘this too will pass’ and ‘find the funny side’.

The only way to cope is to accept what’s happening because worrying and

Granted they may be phrases you don’t want to hear, but at least you know

fretting won’t get you anywhere. Similarly, parents with a resilience

that you’ve drummed into your kids some important core messages that

mindset can help kids understand what’s worth worrying about and what’s

have stayed for life.

not, and that some things won’t change no matter how much kids fret or beat themselves up! 8. “This isn’t the end of the world” Strategy: maintaining perspective Good for: kids who catastrophise or blow things out of proportion. While most of us catastrophise at times, jumping to the worst possible conclusion, it is a habit that only exaggerates anxiety. When kids constantly think the worst case scenario, challenge their views. “Yes, you could end up not knowing anyone at camp but you won’t be the only one. Besides you’ll probably end up making new friends like you generally do.” 9. “You could be right. But have you thought about … ” Strategy: flexible thinking Good for: kids who catastrophise; experience extreme feelings; who exaggerate. Many children and young people talk in extremes – ‘awesome’, ‘the best’, ‘the worst’ and ‘gross’ roll off their tongues easily these days. Unfortunately, their extreme language leads to extreme emotional responses. Develop the habit of winding back their language by introducing shades of grey, rather than black and white. Replace “I’m furious” with “I’m annoyed”. “It’s an absolute disaster” with “It’s a pain”.

Michael will talk more about Resilience and other vital parenting matters in the Very Important Parenting Saturday seminars conducted in 5 Australian capital cities in term 3 this year. Find out more about what’s been called the Parenting Event of the year at parentingideas.com.au

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