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Student N e w s p a p e r for Imperial C o l l e g e

Issue 1223

Te Jarvis again? Well it's Pulp's on page 16

and William Boyd's ©i

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Teddington Under Threat Teddington, the favoured sports field of the average medic, is i n great danger of being sold, a recent confidential College document has suggested. This possibility has been the subject of rumours for years, but the document has indicated that IC w i l l submit a n application for residential planning permission i n "the early part of 2002". However, w e cannot find a n y evidence that this has t a k e n place yet. The sports ground at Teddington w a s given to the St. M a r y ' s H o s p i t a l M e d i c a l School ( S M H M S ) as a gift b y L o r d Beaverbrook i n 1935, to s h o w h i s gratit u d e for m e d i c a l treatment he h a d received, but since the merger of Imperial College a n d S M H M S i n 1989, it h a s become the property of College. A few years ago, a review of sports facilities, conducted b y Frank Murray, demonstrated that IC h a d a n excess of outdoor sports grounds i n proportion to its requirements, whether this allows for separate C C U teams or not is not k n o w n . Ideally, College w o u l d like to find one centrally located ground, w h i c h w o u l d accommo-

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The P a v i l l i o n at Teddington date a l l of the outdoor sports requirements for IC. However, although this m a y sound attractive, it is not k n o w n whether a suitable ground has been identified. A review w a s initiated eight months ago to assess h o w each of the outdoor sports grounds could best be utilised a n d i n a n article for the I C S M Gazette, N e i l Mosley, The Sports a n d Leisure Manager, stated that no decisions w o u l d be made regardi n g the future of the sports grounds until the results of this review were published. However, it is also k n o w n that, at this

"No appeal is complete without a few bazaars and jumble sale type events. Ilk.


Or a nice white elephant.

time, a firm of p l a n n i n g consultants w a s appointed to investigate h o w p l a n n i n g permission could be secured for Teddington, despite the anticipated opposition from R i c h m o n d Council, the local residents a n d sports governing bodies such as Sports E n g l a n d a n d the National Playing Fields Trust. A l t h o u g h the results of the review are not yet k n o w n to students, the College Strategic P l a n has outlined that they w i l l sell one of the sports field over the course of the next t w o years, and w h i l e Teddington is not explicitly mentioned i n relation to this, a later part of the p l a n states that it is "under review", w h i l e all the other major sports areas w i l l be kept for continuing use. O n e interesti n g point is that this is expected to generate only £4 million, where it has b e e n suggested that the ground should generate something i n the region of £20 million, but continued on page 2

college news continued from front page Fklix w a s unable to obtain any comments from senior sources on this seeming discrepancy. In the central sports strategy, IC aims to provide sufficient sporting facilities for students a n d staff, i n order to promote participation a n d sporti n g excellence, since m a n y students a n d college members believe that at the current time our sports facilities are inferior to those of our major institutional competitors. Initially, it w a s thought that money w o u l d b e re-diverted back i n to the college sports facilities, b y providing the final balance for the extension of the Sports Centre at Princes Gardens. However, the College Strategic P l a n m a y s u g g e s t otherwise, mentioning Teddington i n a n area of the report that is completely unrelated to sport: the b u i l d i n g of n e w residential buildings o n the tennis courts i n Prince's

Gardens. This same part of the p l a n also suggest that college hope to h a v e ' d i s p o s e d o f Teddington b y the middle of this year. N onet hel ess Felix has b e e n assured that the n e w sports hall project w i l l go ahead, w h i l e it remains uncertain where this capital w i l l come from if no sale is made.

It is anticipated that a p u b l i c enquiry w i l l be called before planning permission is granted, at w h i c h time local residents a n d students c a n v i e w the proposals a n d voice their opinions, but there is no w a y of predicting w h e n this w i l l be until the planning application is submitted.

Without planning permis-

Unsurprisingly, most medics are upset b y the proposals. A s i d e from the question of 70 years of tradition, the major argument against the development of these grounds is the superior quality of the land, Teddington b e i n g regarded as one of the best sports pitches i n the South of E n g l a n d .

sion for t h e ground itself, the sale w o u l d not really b e w o r t h the effort a n d controversy, b u t whether they w i l l get permiss i o n r e m a i n s to b e seen. R i c h m o n d C o u n c i l regard this sports field as " l a n d of townscape i m p o r t a n c e " w h i c h is therefore to be preserved a n d the local residents are certain to object to the development. However, it is thought that, to m i n i m i s e t h i s , t h e development w i l l only consume part of the sports field for housing, leaving a n open recreational area w h i c h w i l l b e available for public use.

O n the other side of the coin, however, the money that w i l l be generated from the sale of this site is proposed to go into the construction of an extension to the current sports hall i n Prince's Gardens improving the quality of the indoor sports facilities of IC. will

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11 January 2002 Editor: w i l l Dugdale Deputy Editor: A l i Wren N e w s : Vacant M u s i c : Dave E d w a r d s Books: J o n M a t t h e w s A r t s : J o n Brenner F i l m : Darius N i k b i n Sports: Vacant C r o s s w o r d : Dr. H o t F u d g e W i t h Thanks To: Joe Felix, Beit Q u a d , Prince Consort Road, London, S W 7 2BB Tel: 020 7594 8072 E m a i l : Printed by: MCP Litho Limited Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Copyright Š Felix 2001

Rector's Speech II The rector has announced that he w i l l b e g i v i n g another s p e e c h t o t h e s t u d e n t s of Imperial College some time i n the next few weeks.

these needs are met from the point of v i e w of welfare, a n d this w i l l also benefit College b y m a k i n g I m p e r i a l more attractive to future students.

The p l a n is to highlight h i s v i s i o n for the future of this university, a n d he w i l l therefore be d i s c u s s i n g matters that are important to the students, as w e l l as t a l k i n g about the business of r u n n i n g College from a more b u r e a u c r a t i c point of view.

Other topics m a y be more specific to the w a y that our U n i o n itself is run, as the rector is expected to e x p l a i n the n e w faculty s y s t e m i n more detail. H e w i l l therefore probably be a s k e d to comment o n the impact this h a s o n the Constituent College Unions, although the final decisions o n t h i s subject w i l l b e t h e Union's.

The topic that is likely to be of most interest to students is that of the need for student support a n d services. These are obviously fundamental to any university, since they deal specifically w i t h the students themselves, a n d it is recognised that it is important that

Finally the topics of Intellectual P r o p e r t y R i g h t s a n d the c a p i t a l p l a n w i l l be raised, g i v i n g students further information on the college's plans for the future. will

The Union Advice Centre The Union offers a free, confidential and impartial professional advice service for students and staff on legal, academic, financial, housing, immigration, and benefits questions through the full-time Advisor based in the Union Advice Centre. Further information is also available on other questions concerning health, drugs, alcohol, tax and student rights from a wide range of leaflets in the Advice Centre reception. Drop by the East Wing of the Union , â&#x20AC;˘ i , j | Building in Beit Quad, or phone ÂŤ i <~oMeae directly for an appointment on: * union (020) 7594 8067. ADVICE CENTRE m n p



world news

Blair - Peacemaker? B r i t i s h Prime M i n i s t e r Tony Blair this w e e k visited a string of countries i n the M i d d l e East in an effort to boost peace initiatives i n the region. The Premier v i s i t e d K a b u l and Bagram i n Afghanistan, as w e l l as India and Pakistan. He also e x p r e s s e d the "gravest concern" at the A r a b Israeli s i t u a t i o n , w h e r e Palestinian Yasser Arafat is struggling to m a i n t a i n discipline w i t h i n t h e various Palestinian resistance organisations that fall u n d e r h i s umbrella. A t the time of going to print, 36 A r a b civilians have been killed b y the Israeli security forces i n reprisal for 5 Israeli citizens dead over the past week. Prime Minister A r i e l Sharon of Israel i n s i s t e d , however, that p e a c e t a l k s c o u l d not

independence to Britain's former colonies in the Indian subcontinent. Then the t w o countries were still essentially populus yet p r i m i t i v e b a c k w a t e r s . But now both have nuclear w e a p o n s a n d large armies. B o t h sides currently field forces of around three-quarters of a million men, arrayed across an 80-kilometers stretch of border. resume until violence stopped - w h i l e simultaneously insist-

of terrorism". In the statement - the closest yet to a public call

ing that "police action" i n the disputed G a z a region w o u l d continue as and w h e n security Israeli security forces deemed it necessary.

for peace in the reigon - the w o r l d leaders also i n s i s t e d that peace w a s possible on the d i s p u t e d Indian border province of Kashmir.

M e a n w h i l e , i n a n e w s conference following talks w i t h Blair, Pakistani President Musharraf announced that his government "rejects all forms

The area (which is principally M u s l i m , like Pakistan) has been hotly contested b y both countries since 1947 - w h e n a n A c t of Parliament g r a n t e d

Snippets Argentina Argentina is w a l k i n g a knife edge b e t w e e n g r o w t h a n d recession, Reuters reported this week. On Monday t h e South A m e r i c a n country finally made the s w i t c h from dollars to pesos, i n an effort to boost signs of a recovery in the count r y ' s economy - w h i c h has been i n decline since 1989. The A r g e n t i n i a n peso has been p e g g e d one-on-one to the US dollar since 1992 i n a n effort to curb inflation., but has n o w been released following a recent upturn in fortunes. However, inflation is still a major worry, one British analyst insisted. A return to the 1980's (when inflation topped 10%) w o u l d cripple the country. A r g e n t i n i a w a s once the

seventh richest country i n the world, but n o w falls behind Brasil, Peru and French G u i a n a in the region.

Blair spent the w e e k shuttling frantically b e t w e e n Delhi and Karachi, where Britain is still held i n h i g h regard. While spectators have accused Blair of pursuing a place i n the history books at the expense of dealing w i t h domestic strife, he i n s i s t e d that B r i t i s h home policy is best served b y international peace. Joe

i m p e r i a l c o l l e g e u n i o n


Milosovic Former Serbian leader Slobodan M i l o s o v i c stands trial next week on charges of genocide comitted i n Bosnia i n 1999. , The charges include responsibility for the murder of 900 ethnic A l b a n i a n s , a n d the forced exodus of 800,000 civilians from their homes. The 60-year-old w a s extradited from Serbia last year, i n a move that sparked controversy a n d re-opened old w o u n d s w i t h i n the balkan country. Two more indictments w i l l follow all carry 'unlimited' sentences. Joe

Good food at good prices for students, staff and faculty, served in daVinci's and dBs on the ground floor of the Union Building, Beit Quad

Wednesday Thursday F r i d a y 10th 9th A i lit r




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Look o u t f o r t h e e x c i t i n g line-up of u p - a n d - c o m i n g b a n d s d u r i n g o u r Sound Band Nights this t e r m . T h e r e w i l l be n e w Comedy acts, special Bar p r o m o t i o n s , a n d t h e Union DJs w i l l be p l a y i n g t h e best d a n c e music W e d n e s d a y a n d Friday nights. L o o k o u t f o r t h e ads in Felix f o r Special Events, especially t h e Valentine's Day Massacre o n Friday, Febrary 15.

They're p l a y i n g om of the

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song Union.



while beer


f r O I T I 5 p m (dBs only) 8pm-2am £ 1 Unk>n/£1.50 Guests

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Tuesday Wednesday Thursday F r i d a y 15th y

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— Qa{i b a r O p e n n o o n - 1 1 p m Saturdays a n d noon

m — 10:30pm Sundays

imperial college

charity feature

Save A Nation campaign raises E l 3K £13,600. A small or a large amount of money? To you and I an immense amount, but w h a t is it to Afghanistan's eight million people in desperate need of aid? A w e l c o m e gesture of c o m p a s s i o n from Imperial College students. In an attempt to raise money for the A f g h a n people, and to b r i n g about a greater awareness of the many hardships they are facing, Imperial College's Islamic Society decided to r u n an appeal during the last few w e e k s of the w i n t e r term. Entitled, 'Save a Nation' and w i t h the slogan A c t Now , it a i m e d to raise £10 000 to donate to Islamic Relief, a U K registered c h a n t y that has b e e n w o r k i n g i n Afghanistan since 1992. 1

The c a m p a i g n w a s p l a n n e d to coincide w i t h the Islamic holy „ month of R a m a d a n , w h i c h sees M u s l i m s across the globe fasti n g for t h i r t y days. W i t h empty stomachs, it is always easier to empathise w i t h those less fortunate a n d consequently it is a time when Muslims are e n c o u r a g e d to g i v e generously to people in need. Furthermore, Ramadan provided the perfect opportunity to introduce friends around campus to M u s l i m traditions s u c h as fasting, breaking fast and p r a y i n g together, a l l o w i n g the other cultures at Imperial to become part of the appeal. Fittingly, the opening event of the campaign w a s an Inter-Soc Iftaar dinner (a meal to break fast). Dinner w a s provided by the Islamic society, but the real treat for the night were the snacks supplied by IC's national societies: PakSoc came bearing samosas, MalaySoc, s p r i n g rolls and ArabSoc traditional A r a b i a n pastries. Food w a s followed by a short presentation from Islamic Relief about their work in Afghanistan, at the end of w h i c h it w a s explained to the 200 strapped-for-cash IC students present h o w a little money goes a long way. Confronted w i t h facts such as that five pounds provides a child w i t h flour for a month, even the poorest con-

tributed. A t the close of the event one of the campaign, the total amount raised stood at £2000. During the following weeks, further collections were made after the Islamic Society's daily iftaar (held throughout Ramadan in the JCR) and after the weekly Friday prayers, w h i c h alone raised more than £5000 over the duration of the c a m p a i g n . Young, innocent first years were dressed i n luminous yellow jackets, given b i g buckets and also sent collecting around campus, but by far the most successful collection (also being equally the most embarrassing) w as the collection escapade on the 8th December. E q u i p p e d w i t h more yellow jackets and this time s a n d w i c h boards for good measure, the

Islamic Society's more adventurous members travelled to Green Street for a full day's collection aimed at Saturday shoppers. They returned w i t h £1500 to add to a fast rising total. No appeal is complete without a few bazaars and jumble sale type events so in true Blue Peter style t w o bazaars were held in the J C R selling 'Save a Nation' merchandise. This included a very stylish black T-shirt fronted by the appeal logo (still available if anyone is interested), cds of 'Muslim vocal performance' and E i d greeting cards. These proved successful w a y s of raising money, as people were more w i l l i n g to give for something in return, and the sales resulted in the camp a i g n b e i n g p u b l i c i s e d w i d e l y across campus. A sponsored run in Hyde Park marked

the grand finale of the campaign. A r o u n d thirty (insane or committed?) people gave up their last Wednesday afternoon of term to run around the Serpentine in the cold December air. Some (less insane or less committed?) people w a l k e d around. Walking or running, a single lap around the Serpentine added a further £2000 to the appeal. The

total amount

of money


through this c a m p a i g n stands at £13,600, surpassing the aim and everyone's expectations. This money w i l l go towards the community projects b e i n g r u n b y Islamic Relief in A f g h a n i s t a n and m a i n t a i n i ng the many refugee c a m p s that have been formed in the last few months. It w i l l help provide m u c h needed food, water and h y g i e n e kits for the A f g h a n people. Islamic Relief has a refreshing a p p r o a c h to h u m a n i tarian aid, t a k i n g into consideration the needs of the host population and trying to provide respect, consistency and fairness in its relief work. The Islamic Society w o u l d like to thank everyone who took part i n the various events for their time and effort, as w e l l as the other Imperial societies that helped out. The biggest thank you, however, goes to all of the IC students and staff w h o donated money to the appeal, a l l o w i n g us to s h o w our fellow beings in A f g h a n i s t a n that w e care. We hope that amidst all the money coll e c t i n g and fun people became more aware of the problems b e i n g faced by people in Afghanistan, and that our work for them does not end w i t h this campaign. For anyone w i s h i n g to give to Islamic Reliefs A f g h a n i s t a n A p p e a l you c a n contact Islamic Relief on 08704 443 132 or visit their w e b s i t e at w w w . i s l a m i c There is still m u c h work to be done and money is desperately needed. ICU Islamic








S h o w



Febru a i y 2002

Full Tickets: £12 OSC Members: £10

Reception: 6pm Venue: Sherfield Building Tickets A

Mailable soon


union talk

Attention Sporty/Adventurous Types Harlington Trust The Harlington Trust w a s established i n 1989 to manage, for the benefit of Imperial College students, money received from the gravel extraction operation at the Harlington p l a y i ng fields. The Trustees, of w h o m the U n i o n President is one, w e l come applications for grants from students i n the College a n d have a m a x i m u m of ÂŁ50,000 to allocate each year. The p r i n c i p l e s u n d e r w h i c h the Trustees operate have been laid d o w n by the College's G o v e r n i n g Body. Perhaps due to the origins of the funding, income from the Trust is intended for the benefit of IC students mainly i n relation to sporting, athletics a n d recreational facilities, though only to finance n e w or improved facilities, a n d not to meet r u n n i n g costs or replacement of consumables. In m a k i n g their decisions the Trustees w i l l w e i g h up the cost of the b i d versus its potential benefit, the financial risk

s h o u l d other sources of f u n d i n g be involved, the merit of the b i d (i.e. whether it is likely to enhance or maintain the reputation of the College) and whether it is likely to unduly benefit those w h o are not current students.

a long and sustainable existence are more likely to gain support. While it is usually groups that benefit, it is also possible for students to submit i n d i v i d u a l b i d s , though often they w i l l compete either at college level or higher, thus enhancing the prestige of the College.

these expeditions. E a c h of the sponsoring bodies is represented on the Board, w h i c h meets t w i c e a year to consider proposals submitted to it. The Board may decide to recognise expeditions as official College ventures, thus providing insurance for personnel and equipment. In many cases recognition carries w i t h it a grant towards the cost, though most expeditions are also required to raise support i n the form of money or equipment from sources outside the College. In addition, a variety of equipment is held for loan to approved expeditions.

Exploration Board The Exploration Board w a s set up i n 1955 under the sponsorship of the College, the U n i o n a n d the C o n s t i t u e n t College Associ at i ons to consider proposals for expeditions submitted by students of the College, a n d to administer funds given by the sponsors to assist w i t h the cost of

The final meeting of the Board for this academic year w i l l take place on 6th February, so if you are p l a n n i n g an expedition for this summer y o u need to start putting together proposals immediately. See w w w . s u . i c . a c . u k / e x p l o r a t i o n for more information Rob

Those activities w i t h U n i o n b a c k i n g (i.e. part of an official club or society) a n d

Eating Disorders Eating Disorders E a t i n g disorders affect m a n y people. A n o r e x i a N e r v o s a sees the i n d i v i d u a l starving t h e m w h i l e B u l i m i a Nervosa has patterns of binge eating followed by vomiting and laxative abuse. Either w a y the relationship w i t h food is c h a n g e d a n d are often due to feelings that make the affected person u n h a p p y or depressed. It may be associated w i t h sadness, guilt, loss, fear or anger. It is difficult to say h o w many people i n the U K are affected b y an eating disorder. M a n y go u n d i a g n o s e d but it is believed that one i n every h u n d r e d y o u n g w o m e n are affected b y B u l i m i a a n d a smaller, but still significant, number b y anorexia. The Royal College of Psychiatry estimated i n 1992 that at any one time 60,000 i n d i v i d u als w e r e r e c e i v i n g treatment for an Anorexia or Bulimia. Currently, the E a t i n g Disorder A s s o c i a t i o n believes the figure to be more likely 90,000, w i t h m a n y more u n d i a g n o s e d , p a r t i c u l a r l y those w i t h Anorexia Nervosa. Physical signs of A n o r e x i a c a n include severe w e i g ht loss, dizziness, constipa-

tion, poor circulation (feeling cold) a n d sleep difficulties. Women also experience the stopping of periods, w h i c h usually returns once the starving has halted. Often Anorexics w i l l experience osteoporosis (thinning of the bones). Psychologically there is depression, mood s w i n g s , intense fear of gaining w e i g ht and a distorted perception of body weight and shape. Behaviourally those affected w i l l wear baggy clothes, exercise excessively, lie about eating meals and w i l l deny any problems associated. Bulimia

If you feel you do have a problem the first step (slightly cliched) is to recognise it.

Here p h y s i c a l signs c a n include sore throats, repeated m o u t h infections, dry/poor s k i n a n d sleep difficulties. Periods don't stop, but c a n be irregular. Due to the vomiting, those w i t h Bulimia often have poor teeth a n d w i l l avoid g o i n g to the dentist. P s y c h o l o g i c a l l y those affected feel depressed, and exhibit m o o d s w i n g s a n d h i g h l y e m o t i o nal behaviour, w h i c h is caused by the body r e a c t i n g to the c o n s u m p t i o n of large amounts of food followed by vomiting or taking laxatives.

If you w i s h to or need to lose w e i g ht for

From here there must be a genuine desire to get better, p o s s i b l y a l t e r i n g your lifestyle, behaviour a n d circumstances. The reason for your problem also has to be investigated a n d changes made here as w e l l as re-shaping your ideas about food a n d weight. Remember, though, you are not alone. M e d i c a l advice should be sought a n d speaking to a counsellor could be extremely important especially w i t h look at the reasons for the eating disorder. Losing weight health reasons its best to do it via a controlled programme. B e g i n w i t h cutting out the crap i n your diet; junk food, fatty cakes, chocolate; replacing w i t h additional fruit a n d vegetables. Take additional exercise, and build up slowly. Remember you can speak to your doctor about advice on your diet and changes to your life that you c a n make Eating Disorder Association Helpline01603 621414 (weekdays 9am to 6.30pm). David

The Royal College of Science Union Presents the Second Annual

M D 25

t h

- 27

t h

J A N U A R Y 2002



0 To book your ticket or for more information, email or pop into the R C S U office (on U n w i n R o a d between

CivEng and MechEng)

talk felix

Inkwell By Nate Evuarherhe I w a s most disappointed to hear last term, that the Lecturer Evaluation Scheme w a s a dismal and utter failure owing principally to student apathy, a n d a number of other Great Union Screw-Ups. (Namely poorly written, hack-able computer programmes.) If you've ever wondered h o w on earth some lecturers of this University managed to get the jobs they currently hold, this w a s a much-awaited chance for us to do some evaluation and academic feedback, and I think the Union owes it to the entire student body to orchestrate an evaluation/feedback programme of some sort.

liant idea went drastically wrong. Student apathy, as is by and large the case, w a s clearly the result of a belief in an inability to effect change... a sense of impotence. A feeling that the evaluation would ultimately amount to nothing and, at the end of the day, horribly bad lecturers would still roam the halls next year, and beyond. The Scheme failed to make clear the possible consequences of student opinion. What happens to those lecturers w e deem to be grossly incompetent, and fundamentally b a d teachers? Do they get the sack? Do they get a talking to by the head of the department or what?

But as far as brilliant ideas go, this is about where it stops. Not only w a s the entire scheme poorly a n d incompetently run, but it w a s also revealed last term, that students of the computing department had detected a b u g i n the supposedly secure online system. That means of course, that if you took the time to log on a n d evaluate your lecturer, the said lecturer could (in theory) be looking at your evaluation and plotting to fail you at the end of the year.

The poorly conceived scheme failed to convince students on w h y it w a s important that they voted. The result being that voter apathy was inevitable from the start. The timing w a s also horribly wrong. There is a student "cycle of life" at IC. In the first few weeks of term, the student is lively, energetic, and bubbling w i t h enthusiasm to make the best of the term etc. etc. Of course by week 6, this becomes a figment of the imagination, and b y week 9 nobody really gives a dead rat about study groups and seminars anymore. The idea of carrying out lecturer evaluation in the dying weeks

The bottom-line being, that somewhere between student apathy, a n d yet another Great Union Screw-Up, a wonderfully bril-

of the term w a s an ill-advised and unintelligent one. In plain and simplistic terms, by that time of the term, nobody gives a monkeys about anything anymore. Most certainly not "lecturer evaluation"! A scheme in the very first weeks of the second, or third term would have been a far more fruitful and successful project. A n d finally, let it be said, that the hacking of the supposedly secure website, by students of the computing department, speaks of shamefully farcical planning b y the Union. If Imperial College of Science and Technology (keywords: science and technology) cannot adequately produce a viable and operational online system, then in all fairness, h o w can the Union ever be taken seriously? The sad and unfortunate result of all this, is that the small number of IC students w h o felt the need to voice their opinion about the people w h o teach them, w o u l d of course remain unheard, and this is heart-breaking. After all let's face it, a great many of the lecturers w h o walk these halls are simply excruciatingly bad teachers, w h o make sitting in a lecture like watching a really long monologue in a badly written play. The Student voice must be heard.

Editorial Happy N e w Year, dear readership, and wel-

Monday night (split deadlines). Fine, so

come to another term of journalistic delight. This first issue, I w i l l be the first to admit, is slightly paltry, perhaps. While the excuse is lame: many of my writers have not returned to the fold yet, it is valid, i n that I believe that it is my job to edit this newspaper, and ensure its continuing existence financially, but not necessarly to write it all. This is meant to be a student newspapaer. Not to mention h o w lazy I am.

that'll not happen. I'll comment on other issues. L E Q s . Oh yes. You can see the Inkwell above is discussing this, and while I agree w i t h his sentiments, I feel it should be pointed out that the Union is not entirely to blame (especially the security matters), as Inkwell implies, but since it represents all students here, it should have been more sure that everything went according to plan. However, you can't ever tell College what to do, sadly. The words 'lumbering' and 'behemoth' spring to mind.

I have been informed by nearly everyone that my editorials are boring and full of useless information. N o w I thought that this w a s fun and quirky, but apparently it's not. A s such, I'm n o w going to fulfill the point of an editorial by, in the words of a so-called friend, 'creating a coherent view of the issues raised in that week's publication'. So, news. A h yes, that w h i c h w e don't write until Wednesay night, and n o w is

In fact, having spoken (personally, and not professionally) to various important people in the Union, it is clear that the L E Q s were actually very important to them, and from what I know, most of the blame should be laid on College. Similarily, there is a letter complaining on

the same subject, and from the negative feedback that Felix a n d others have received, I have to say that it seems that there could be a few improvements. However nothing ever works first time, and this is the first year that it has been a joint Union-College venture, so I'm willing to give them a chance. If they screw up next year, however... So that w a s my attempt at trying to be topical and actually commenting seriously on the issues that affect the students. Perhaps I'm too apathetical, but frankly that w a s a real effort. I think next time I'll stick to something easier, like random banter and space filling w h e n I have half a page left... not that I mean that. No really. So I think I'll stick to what I know, and do something easier, like discussing my sex life. Last week I went to bed with several nubile young...

felix talk

Rag Ramble You l u c k y people! Be happy, IC students, you have a massive total of t w o Rag Weeks coming up this term! T w i c e as many chances to do m a d and different stuff, t w i c e as m a n y chances to raise tonnes of cash for charity, and t w i c e as many opportunities to get totally ratted for a good cause. C o m i n g up first is M e d i c s R a g Week, J a n u a r y 28th to February 1st, r a i s i n g money for the C L I C - the charity challenging childhood cancer and leukaemia. Grab a medic or look out for the greens to find out what's planned... A l s o there's the Rag Dash, already a sold-out event starting at IC on January 18th and heading up north (and as far away from sunny South Kensington as possible, it looks like!) Then there's the more 'bijou' I C U Rag Week, starting on Valentines Day w i t h the return of the Barbershop Quartet, Hit Squad and G r i m Reapering. A p u b crawl, London raid and a b a l l later, it'll end on

Friday February 22nd w i t h a School U n i f o r m Day a n d balloon lift on the Queen's L a w n . The I C U Rag Week nominated charity is the Shooting Star A p p e a l , raising money to build the first specialist hospice for terminally ill children in Kensington, Chelsea and all of West London. The sexy new website on w i l l tell you what's going on, and so w i l l Felix over the next few weeks. There's every chance for you to get involved and get yourself out of the library, so go on, you k n o w you need a break b y now... Save A N a t i o n Respect to Islamic society and everyone w h o got involved in the "Save A Nation" campaign for Afghanistan last term. The total is at ÂŁ13,000 and still rising, so if you're interested, check out the feature on page 5 to find out the deatils of w h a t h a p p e n e d a n d h o w that lovely money w i l l be spent.

Falmouth Keogh Rule! Congrats to John-Joe, J a v e d and the F K Hall committee for p u t t i n g on a storming s h o w to raise money for the Rotherham Hospice in December. E v e r y t h i n g from a Steps tribute band, leg w a x i n g and slave auction to an unintentionally Full Monty raised ÂŁ700, and a very good time w a s h a d by all. Nice one, guys! C a r o l l i n g for c a s h Two groups of carol singers made beautiful music just before Christmas. A group from the medical school serenaded travelers at Victoria Station for C L I C , w h i l e IC choir sang their hearts out at Marylebone station and around the local m e w s just off E x h i b i t i o n Road for the Shooting Star A p p e a l . B o t h w e r e h u g e l y successful (either asking for donations to carry on, or just to keep quiet) and we'll bring you the totals next w e e k . Thank s to all w h o helped out, and keep up the excellent singing! helen

IC Radio IC Radio w o u l d like to w i s h you all a happy n e w year. A n d if " l i s t e n to ICR" wasn't one of your n e w year's resolutions, then it really should have been! The g r a n d IC R a d i o s t a t i o n r e l a u n c h ! For a variety of reasons, it's taken longer than expected to complete our b r a n d n e w studios i n Beit Q u a d . We w e r e broadcasting from the first day of term, but to be honest the studios were a tip, w e h a d about half the equipment w e really needed, and the production studio w a s merely a figment of the technical team's imagination. But n o w everything is finally up and running, i n c l u d i n g i n t e r v i e w room and (shock!) production studio. A s a result, w e ' v e d e c i d e d to s t a g e a Station Relaunch event on Thursday 17th J a n . at 7pm in the U n i o n Bar. There'll be the u s u a l fun a n d games, plenty of d r i n k i n g a n d a chance to meet\greet\kill\shag those bastards w h o keep playing loud music in the mornings.

Student radio for I m p e r i a l College It's apparent that many students here at Imperial don't even k n o w that w e have our o w n radio station. Well, IC Radio is an I C U society, and so any IC student c a n join. No experience is necessary, and though w e have over 100 members, we're always on the lookout for n e w ones. We have opportunities in every aspect of radio, from publicity to presenting.

produce your very o w n show. W h a t m u s i c do w e play? Just about every genre of music is covered - R & B , rap, hip-hop, reggae, soul, dance, trance, house, drum&bass, garage, chill-out, cheese, pop, indie, rock, alternative and some other ones that I can't think of at the moment. We also have talk shows and review shows, and there's n e w s on the hour every hour.

W h y choose us? But, w h e n presented w i t h the chbice of IC Radio or one of the myriad of other stations available to you, w h y should you listen to us? Well, our playlists are chosen especially for the student audience. You c a n l i s t e n to your friends/contemporaries/enemies m a k i n g stars/idiots of themselves. A s i d e from a couple of minutes at the beginning of each hour, there are no adverts. We run loads of competitions and, due to the smaller audience, you're a lot more likely to w i n . A n d apart from all that, you can come and present or

Listen! A s ever, we're broadcasting quality radio programmes 24 hours a day, 7 days a w e e k . You c a n l i s t e n on 9 9 9 A M i n Southside and L i n s t e a d halls, and on the internet at w w w . i c r a d i o . c o m anywhere. Come and see us i n the West W i n g of Beit Quad, or email i n f o @ i c r a d i o . c o m .




talk back No Offence M e a n t

Tease? M e ?

The Commemoration Day arrangements both at IC and R A H w e r e excellent and absolutely first class; all those involved should be congratulated; w e all left w i t h our positive feelings about IC enhanced and reinforced.

M y dearest William, A r e you ever p l a n n i n g to run your much-anticipated "multiple-choice, decide-my-fate editorial t h i n g " ? You've been hinting at it all term, and quite frankly I think that it's time to put your money where your mouth is, as it were.

My criticism was solely directed at the Success Photography's 'studio' photographs of the graduates w h i c h could have been better w i t h a slightly more contrasting b a c k g r o u n d , s o m e t h i n g the photographers should make a note of for the future. Dr K S M Bhatta

L E Q Trouble Hiya, Here's my very brief account of u s i n g the ill-fated L E Q s . I download my email at home and received a message w i t h my L E Q username a n d password. Fair e n o u g h I thought, clicked on the link and., oh! I couldn't access the site from home, only internal IC IP num bers were allowed. The next time I u s e d a computer in my department I couldn't remember the p a s s w o r d I w a s given because it w a s stored i n my inbox at home. C o u l d I be arsed to go home a n d write it down? I think you k n o w the answer to that. E v e r y single secure online I need to access at IC is done through one username a n d p a s s w o r d , from checking email to registering course options! W h y something so important could be done w i t h the u s u a l p a s s w o r d and something so seemingly frivolous w o u l d have to have its o w n is beyond me. But then w h a t do I care? I'll be miles a w a y from here i n six months time. Iain A n g u s (Computing 4)

Or have your hints merely b e e n an elaborate double bluff? Is your repeated promise of imminent fulfilment just a cruel reworking of the classic " h o w to keep an idiot in s u s p e n s e " line? Do tell. G :op Well, Mr. G :op (if that's your real name), I think you are correct in demanding an explanation. I had intended, as many of you may have sussed, to have a 'guess you own adventure' editorial, where I would provide options, and the punters would write in to tell me what to do with my life. Usually, admittedly, with reference to sex. While this was a lovely idea, no-one seemed even remotely interested in the idea, and if only four people wrote in having decided I should make love to a small rhino, then I could have been in trouble. The added crisis of actually landing myself a girlfriend merely compounded the situation, and as such I'm not sure how interesting it would be to ask 'Should I take her out to dinner, go to the pub, shag her senseless, or pull her sister'. Well, it might be interesting, but pointless. The answer would clearly be go to the pub. So you see, Mr. G, my conundrum, and while I am tempted to dump her, and have a laugh on all of your behalfs, and at my expense, I think I'll stick with sex, thank you. Sorry to


One R i n g to Bind... Dear Will You are in great danger. The evil rector Sykeon is b u i l d i n g an army to try and take your condom collection. You must take your condom collection, over bog and over dell, stopp i n g regularly to eat great feasts, and destroy your condom collection in the wretched fires of ICT (the computing service). Your condom collection is a source of great power and you must destroy it before the evil rector has a chance to take it u s i n g his evil w e n c h e s from the student finance office. (Sounds good to me, Ed.) W i t h the condom collection he w o u l d be able to rule Imperial and all C C U ' s , as they w o u l d unable to resist his mighty and evil power. A great shadow is falling over this once great land and it is upon your meagre shoulders to save humanity.

I w i l l always be in your m i n d as a guide on this great journey w h i c h you are going to undertake. G o d bless you. Gandalf

A n d Finally... Felix, What are you on? I have never read such large chunks of vomitous nonsense i n my life. W h y do you waste student money w i t h this t w a d dle? Is there a point? If I were in any p o s i t i o n of power, I w o u l d i n s t a n t l y have you removed from this position. You are meant to represent the student voice, as w e l l as reporting w h a t is relevant to the students, and to an extent, even to the professors. A n d w h a t h a p p e n s ? You just sit there w r i t i n g letter to yourself, w h i n i n g : 'No-one else ever writes anything'. Bollocks. Love W i l l (Felix Editor)

Do you want to earn ÂŁ6 per hour? The Emergency Night Bus Service is looking for Stewards, particularly women, to work from the beginning of the October term. Ability to drive a Union minibus is desirable, but not essential. Shifts are available on Wednesday and Friday evenings from midnight. For more information please contact:

imperial â&#x20AC;˘ college Work for yourself. Work at the Union...and make a difference to vour social life.

this week

P e r s o n a



Friday Shaft H o w rude. Anyway, it's going to be all 70s dressing up. M e n i n leather a n d flares, girls i n m i n i s k i r t s . M m m , I'm already moist. Until Late, dBs

N e w Year's R e s o l u t i o n s U n i o n B l o c k O u t Don't k n o w w h a t tins personally (unless means, but it's happenyou're me, in w h i c h case ing i n loads of places. V;: v.. DBs a n d t h e D i n i n g keep my various com- Room, all evening. Well, mitments to d r i n k i n g you can go a n d have a less, sleeping more, etc. look, 1 suppose L o r d O f The R i n g s If you haven't seen this blockbusting, recordbreaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, b a s e d o n the popular book, you really should. A n y cinema, anywhere.



11™ 2002

Wake up to radio station The I C R Breakfast S h o w weekdays 8-10am

broadcasting 24/7 on 999AM in Southside & Linstead halls, and everywhere

student radio for Imperial College

imperial »• college icradio is an ICU society


Theatre & Galleries


Television & Radio

0207 594 9533


Weekend Walk Like A n Egyptian Well you could. It w o u l d be something to do. You could do it i n the quad, and then it w o u l d be a U n i o n event, and everything. I'll w a t c h from my w i n d o w , hehehe.

-KirtMife t H e

f o l l o w i q u a l i t i e a Energy, personality, flair, common sense, excellent presentation, and good communication skills to fill the following positions:


This Week


Union Events


Student Activities

W a n t e d f o r ESaetter

At The Movies

imperial College \ accommodation link

H a r r y Potter If you haven't seen this blockbusting, recordbreaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, b a s e d o n t h e popular book, you really should. Any cinema, anywhere. B l i n d Date Definitely gieat TV. No question. A l t h o u g h the

i: . Ui,,'"'y.v. / ; " . v ; r - r - : 7 ; i / s '.••f'-iiV' ten to the breakfast minging more often than show online and go back : 8-10am

So perhaps missable. ITV. 6.20pm

Vade M e c u m C a t c h the most exciting act never to get signed since Bis h a d that single on Top of the Pops. M y best mate k n o w s them. Nepotism? Us? Never. Abingdon Alley, £5

Although Promoting Union gigs and student-y goings on is a function of your l u w e r l y Felix, after all. So if you have a gig, m a i l listings (2 weeks' notice) to


Hilarious comedy from the M a r q u e z brothers. Lauded at the Edinburgh



V'ifitV/j ••.. ; v ' - •,.;>.•.•.• tunes - essential. Smack The Pony bloke, ' '.J: ' ' '\.^Vg"V.6'V>'i.) this is good stuff. Hampstead Theatre. 8pm v


week this



Wednesday Thursday

Open Dex & Trivia C h r i s t i a n People C h e e s y Wotsits They're up to something It wouldn't be Tuesday More o ppur t uni t i e s to in dBs, but I'm afraid I w i t h o u t it. I b e t ourget vomited on by don't know what. University C h a l l e n g e sports teams, or perApparently t h e y ' l l be i n Team w i l l be there, feel- haps even get in a fight. action, but I don't k n o w ing cocky. Well go and You never k n o w your w h a t that means... s h o w them who's daddy. luck. Bring your camera. 6pm, dBs Da Vinci's, early evening Union, For Ever Dance Attic This centre

i n Fulhani A m b u l a n c e

First A i d : •:ipl<-^.(/2 .! '':.;:'"r^ :i~ Practice your students, and it's appar- tions. ently quite good, too skills for t h a t v i t a l when you Improve your moves or moment pick up a posh bird. ti'-r-H^."':--''; 36.3 North End Road, SWS :

2001: A Space O d d e s s y If you haven't seen this blockbusting, recordbreaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, based o n the popular book, you really should. Uxbridge Chimes Odeon


Behind E n e m y Lines If you haven't seen this blockbusting, recordbreaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, b a s e d o n t h e popular war, you really should. Any cinema, anywhere.


Comedy Kandy I hope it's funny. A t least L o r d y me...The s w e e t he's got a funny name. s o u n d of n e w m u s i c . W h o ? I hear y o u a s k .Sounds good to me, if Ray Peacock, I reply. you like that k i n d of Guffaw. Pea. Cock. thing. Dance music, of Gag-tastic. I'm off to bed. all sorts. G i v e it a go! dBs, 8ish, I imagine. Union, 7pm - 2am

DramSoc Auditions What's That? DrarnSoc A u d i t i o n s Individual auditions fur iGroup a u d i t i o n . 6,30-A Friday, a n d n o student 8pm, seminar room 2. activities? W h o ' d have Wife. 20 min slots from The play is a comedy set thought. To think I c o u l d 6pm i n seminar room 5. S i g n u p o n sheet o n nottceboard b y dBs. See tomorrow for more.

stay i n b e d a n d not bother w i t h this diary. You know, m a y b e I w i l l

Black H a w k D o w n Bridget Jones' Diary If you haven't seen this If you haven't seen this blockbusting, record- b l o c k b u s t i n g , recordbreaking, action-packed breaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, special effects bonanza, b a s e d on the popular b a s e d o n the popular war, you really should. slag, you really should. A n y cinema, anywhere. Any cinema, anywhere.

Braveheart If you haven't seen this blockbusting, recordbreaking, action-packed special effects bonanza, based on the popular terrorist, you really should. Scotland Only.

What T h e Victorians D i d For U s •.••^•m ' ;£v;--c S>£'i : the rest of this blatant Slums, cholera, bigotry, sexuality, p l u g for w i l l ' s show, r e p r e s s e s e d which v a i i e s from cack C h r i s t m a s , pollution... oh. go on. then. to rubbish weekly. BBC Knowlege, 6 pm

W h a t Not To Wear

Two ugly women w h o Have you evei seen the dress badly telling other •••r.,'r''-i'l'-.!v'<.v;. ugly women who dress badly h o w to dross, don't oven know if there badly. So w i l l says • • '..v.. flrjo'-^asr;?. Bitterness? No' '-•.. •'•>:>,:.; BBC 2, 8 30 pm Channel 4, 7pm

Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Your marriage is ending in faliurel Publicly'

Incubus It's probably a measure of the state of the music industry (or perhaps my laziness), b u t there aren't any good gigs i n L o n d o n today. Sorry. Civic Hall Wolverhampton

Fad G a d g e t Sounds a bit gimmicky to me. Still, they must be OK to be headlining at the G a r a g e , so they might b e w o r t h a look. Who k n o w s ? Highbury Garage, 7.30

B i g B a d Voodoo D a d d y Oh, Yes! They have a great name. Let's hope they talk half as w e l l as they walk. I guess playing and singing w o u l d be even better. Mean Fiddler £8.50

Sona Fariq

G a l l e r i es

Boston Marriage


tell you about the many excellent galleries, exhibitions a n d s h o w s on here in London. Go see. You're not p a y i n g a l l that rent to w a t c h telly.

E x c i t i n g and funny com- Not actually a tribute to This c l a s s i c m u s i c a l edy set in America, run- the T V legend, but fringe production in the;''iii;;.^itvv^:':; •;:;;^i' : . l^ypXydy Theatre. ; '.,'•.- :' n i n g unt i l the e n d of rather a gallery show- Vaudeville . February. U n m i s s a b l e , ;-/9)'-. • • by all accounts. must get out and 'catch '[•'•:--'.'b\'-' • •'•'•. Vvu;, We iv Ambassadors' Art or Arse'-' You decide. Theatre. WC2. 8pm 6 Cork Street. Wl Vaudeville, 7 30pm £9.50 .•:,v.v:'- f'W-%'?i ;:•••'

Aie you the solitary Fblix



; :

Channel 4 News



Hoggboy W h a t is this, comedybleedin'-band-names week? Hee, hee, they're named after a fictional homosexual position I've just invented, hee, hee. Camden Monarch, 8pm

myself. Oh ... Sky One. 1.45 pm

Agressive yet listenable political rock outfit sitting neatly b e t w e e n Rage and A D F Adrenalincharged a n d passionfuelled thrills aplenty. Camden Monarch

: v;. '"'.v. I'm'i ;






music reviews

Jimmy Eat World Jimmy Eat World

Candidate Tiger Flies

Out now on Dreamworks

Out Monday 28 Jan on Snowstorm


This is the fourth a l b u m from the up and coming A m e r i c a n pop thrashers. It w a s recorded w i t h the band's o w n money after they were dropped from their previous record label. The release of Jimmy Eat World w a s originally p l a n n e d for the m i d d l e of October but due to its unfortunate original title [Bleed American), they thought it best i n light of the e v e n t s of 11 September to postpone the release and rethink the title too. This is a typically A m e r i c a n album, and I mean that in a good way. From the lyrics to the production, it is refreshing. Bands more about machismo t h a n substance - the likes of Blink 182 and L i m p Bizkit - currently dominate the A m e r i c a n music scene, and this really is the perfect antidote to such dross. J i m m y Eat World are a b a n d w i t h their hearts strapped firmly to their sleeves. Songs like Hear You Me, // You Don't, Don't and Your House certainly w o u l d not look out of place on, say, a soundtrack for Dawson's Creek - you know, w h e n they sit around a fire a n d di scuss their best ever hot chocolate moment and then smile at each other w h i l e exchanging glances of unrequited love. Anyway... The album opener a n d first single, Salt Sweat Sugar, hits you b e t w e e n the eyes like a ballistic missile, and w h i l e you're still reeling from that, Praise Chorus leaves you sadistically w a n t i n g more. For those less intense moments, tracks like The Middle and The Authority Song feature pop sensibility crossed w i t h killer hooks. There's something for everyone.



Various A Wireless Nation Vol 1 records

Candidate first found their w a y into the spotlight in A p r i l of last year w h e n their debut album Taking On The Enemy's Sound w a s released, but after playing one g i g they dived back into their shell and disappeared. A n d as they say - out of sight, out of mind. But not for long. The north L o n d o n four-piece are back, and w i t h something special. Tiger Flies is a delicate mix of natural rhythms and chilled-out melodic samples, w h i c h sounds like the bizarre love child of Zero 7 and Coldplay. Be w a r n e d - this isn't the k i n d of music you can just listen to. It's the k i n d of music you have in the background w h e n you're doing really important things, like coursework or s e d u c i n g your gentleman/lady/farm animal of choice. If you pay attention though, amidst the t w i n k l i n g guitars and unobtrusive beats, there are colourful lyrics w i t h hidden meanings and double entendres sprinkled throughout. The really amazing t h i n g about this b a n d is the fact that they can play a myriad of w e i r d and wonderful instruments, from hammond organ to w a i k i k i guitar and back again. The really b a d thing about this b a n d is that their vocalist desperately needs to work on his voice. I can say this again and again about so many bands - they try so hard w i t h their music that they forget to find someone who can actually sing. A p a r t from that, this is a good, solid album from a b a n d w h o are going somewhere provided that they don't disappear from the scene like last time.


Out now on GranKru


This is a compilation a l b u m featuring the best of U K rap and d r u m 'n' bass. The compilation is centred around the "A Letter To Tony Blair" campaign, w h i c h attempts to implement legislation forcing radio stations to play at least 40% British origin music, 20% of w h i c h must be that of n e w or unestablished bands. This w o u l d no doubt increase the variety of music on our airwaves. The campaign is b e i n g r u n b y G r a n K r u records in conjunction w i t h the M e d i a A c c e s s Trust. They say, among other things, that such a l a w w o u l d "enhance and benefit local creativity". The C D includes music from such luminaries as the Freestylers, A s i a n Dub Foundation (pic above), Grooverider and M a x i m of the Prodigy. Because of this, it features quite a diverse range of styles w i t h i n the t w o m a i n genres - hip-hop and d r u m 'n' bass. One might have thought that there w a s more " m u s i c of British orig i n " than this (house, indie and rock prod u c t i o n s are c o n s p i c u o u s b y their absence). Still, for the t w o genres covered it gives a pretty broad overview w i t h some quality tracks. The O p t i c a l a n d E d R u s h piece Compound is a particular favorite. It features a sort of deep throbbing bass noise similar to that on Crazy (no, not the Britney Spears track) and is a nice slice of drum 'n' bass. Some of the less w e l l - k n o w n acts have produced songs especially for the album, berating the music industry. A s a political tool, I don't k n o w h o w this w i l l fare. A s a compilation album, it's OK but far from brilliant.


reviews music INTERVIEW with Derek from Alkaline Trio Alkaline Trio originated in Chicago, Illinois about five years ago. They've released four albums and had a few changes of line-up. Felix caught u p w i t h their latest drummer Derek Grant before the last g i g of their recent tour, at U L U (see review, left). F E L I X : H o w d i d y o u come to be p l a y i n g i n A l k a l i n e Trio? D E R E K : Well, the b a n d started i n Chicago w i t h M a t t [Skiba] playing guitar and singing w i t h a couple of school mates. Then the other t w o left a n d Danny [Andriano] joined a n d then me. We'd all been i n various punk bands before, and w e all k n e w of each other.

LIVE: Alkaline Trio + Jesse James + Crackout @ ULU The first b a n d on provided a great w a r m - up to an evening of alcopop-fuelled teenage pogomg. W h i l s t tired old hacks played "spot the riff" - N i r v a n a , Pixies, Shonen Knife, Wire - the kids just got d o w n to some skanking. There's probably no chance of a recording career for Jesse J a m e s , unless they come up w i t h some ideas of their o w n . Still, they're great fun live for mayhem, moshing and w o r k i n g out those stresses.

What's t h e m o t i v a t i o n b e h i n d t h e b a n d ? The m a i n motivation w a s to emulate our idols - the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, punk derived from the aesthetic... B u t t h e Sex Pistols weren't a real p u n k b a n d , t h e y w e r e more of a n o v e l t y band... Well, we're really more interested i n the image. We love the schlocky misfits kind of performance. In that sense, the music is secondary - it's the visual effect w e go for. H o w h a v e y o u enjoyed t h i s tour? The other t w o tours were a disappointment i n every way. The interest, the vehicles, the turnout, the food, everything. But on this one, every show is better than the last. The only real problem is trying to sleep. One t h i n g I l i k e about y o u r m u s i c is t h e a t t e n t i o n p a i d to lyrics...

Not a b a n d to muck about w i t h a w i n n i n g formula, C r a c k o u t carried on i n m u c h the same vein as Jesse James. Looking younger than their audience, they delivered w h a t might have been expected i n the form of early A s h or Bis b u b b l e g u m rock.

Yeah, that's one thing M a t t is definitely good at. I suppose that the imagery a n d gimmicks are good, but w e wouldn't w a n t to make them overtly so. A t the e n d of the day, the lyrics are important.

The c r o w d decided to join i n m i d w a y through the half-hour

I've h e a r d a n d i n t e r v i e w e d a lot of u p a n d c o m i n g i n d i e bands here at U L U , a n d I can't r e m e m b e r a n y of t h e i r nam e s . W h y do y o u t h i n k you're g o i n g to be a n y different?

set and they really w e n t for it, moshing frenziedly to / A m The One. The rocked-out set rounded off w i t h You Dumb Fuck, w h i c h has been receiving some airplay a n d is likely to get more if Crackout continue to w i n n e w fans.

I don't know. Our goal is just to play music. Success or lack of it is coincidental, but it w o u l d be welcomed.

Robert A l k a l i n e Trio (pic above) are n o w on to their fourth album and have p i c k e d u p a solid following along the way. The capacity audience a n d desperate indie kids b u y i n g tickets from touts illustrated that they're w e l l on the w a y to m a k i n g it. A l t h o u g h they all claimed to be i l l (and lead singer M a t t Skiba proved it b y t h r o w i n g u p on stage), that didn't stop the band from churning out a n hour's w o r t h of indietastic mosh-inspiring music. Don't be fooled b y the rather uncharacteristic single Private Eye, w h i c h is at the tamer end of their material - they are best w h e n going hell for leather at the guitars. The talent that really puts A l k a l i n e Trio above similar bands is the quality of their lyrics. G o a n d see t h e m now, before y o u have to p a y a ridiculous price to w a t c h t h e m supporting Blink 182 later this year.


OUT THIS W E E K The following are due out on M o n d a y 14 January. Please note that all release dates are subject to change. SINGLES B L A C K R E B E L M O T O R C Y C L E C L U B - Love Burns B O M F U N K M C S - Superelectnc C H E M I C A L B R O T H E R S - Star Guitar P DIDDY feat N E P T U N E S - Diddy G E O R G E H A R R I S O N - M y Sweet Lord M E R C U R Y R E V - Dark Is R i s i n g PINK - Get The Party Started BRITNEY S P E A R S - Overprotected SUPER FURRY A N I M A L S - It's Not The E n d Of The World W H E A T U S - Leroy

music reviews

LIVE: Pulp + Fat Truckers @ Brixton Academy

LIVE: Ash @ Brixton Academy

"We're Fat T r u c k e r s . We're not fat, we're not truckers and we're from Sheffield!" Yes, a n d four of the five use synths. Don't ask me what the other one does, because I'm not sure. "We may use synthesisers but w e fookin' rock!" In all honesty, what else w o u l d y o u expect from a b a n d supporting Pulp? OK, so they're not fat, but t w o of t h e m are certainly portly. They're also geeks - this is apparent from their use of crazy sounds w i t h much knob t w i d d l i n g . A n d ironic d a n c i n g too. They do their job and then let a real s h o w m a n take the stage.

After an hour's wait, A s h finally came on stage, the lighting making their introduction all the more spectacular, a n d to round off a good opening they played Girl from Mars. They then played eight songs back to back consisting mainly of those from the album 1977, i n c l u d i n g Angel Interceptor a n d Oh Yeah.

The last time I s a w J a r v i s Cocker w a s in Stoke N e w i n g t o n a year or t w o ago, around the time P u l p released This is Hardcore. A s you may recall, this w a s w h e n he went a bit funny and "introspective". Needless to say, he w a s terrified to see someone who'd recognised h i m . Thankfully tonight, the Jarvis of old is back, all elbows a n d p o s t u r i n g a n d w r i g g l i n g . "It's been a w h i l e since we've been here", says Jarvis wistfully, g a z i n g around the sold-out arena. The next moment, he leaps up onto a monitor a n d starts w a g g l i n g his wrist. "That's still loose". Then he raises his leg a n d gives it a shake. " A n d that still works... so let's do it". A n d they do! The set kicks off w i t h three songs from the n e w album We Love Life. Weeds, The Night Minnie Timperley Died and Birds In Your Garden are all received w i t h sumptuous fervour before Jarvis straps on his guitar to chime i n the opening chords of Something Changed. Today, he is a born natural to the game of showmanship, flitting effortlessly from song to song whilst maintaining relaxed yet c h a r m i n g banter w i t h his adoring followers. The m a i n set ends w i t h a thunderous rendition of Sunrise. They return for encore 1 w i t h Sorted For Es And Wizz, much to everyone's delight, promptly followed by Babies and The Fear. Encore 2 brings Party Hard a n d a searing finale of Underwear. Take a b o w Jarvis, w e still love you!


It soon d a w n e d on me that this w a s going a brilliant gig - it w a s the last of the tour, Tim's voice w a s on fire, a n d the b a n d were putting their all into it. After the first eight songs there w a s a shift i n style, as they played tracks from Free All Angels. Walking Barefoot w a s exceptional, as I think everyone else agreed, to go by the applause they received. I noticed after an hour that no songs from Trailer or Nu-Clear Sounds h a d been played, but that didn't matter - they w o r k e d the c r o w d w e l l , playing the favourites early on. A s h then revealed t w o interesting facts: firstly, Westlife have a sense of humour (still to be proven) a n d secondly, Westlife are druggies. Tim went on to explain that Westlife rolled them a joint u s i n g a ÂŁ20 note, at w h i c h point they burst into Burn Baby Burn - fantastic! After a few more tunes such as C a n d y a n d Jesus Says, they w e n t off, only to return for an encore; a n d w h a t an encore! It w a s the longest encore I've ever heard, l ast i ng over 45 minutes, w i t h n e w songs, covers, fake snow falling from the balcony and the band's determination to make it their longest g i g ever, w h i c h it eventually was. To finish off the whole gig, they played Numbskull w i t h real vigour and enthusiasm. Overall, classic!


Toby B

COMPETITION This week, we're giving a w a y a 90-minute video of A s h playing live at the A k a s a k a Blitz i n Tokyo last year. Q U E S T I O N : The t r a c k Candy is f r o m w h i c h A s h a l b u m ? Please email your answer, along w i t h your name, year and department, to m u s i c . f e l i x @ i c . a c . uk by Thursday 17 January.

reviews music INTERVIEW with Richard from Hood Hood's bassist Richard A d a m s spoke to Felix before their recent gig at the A r t s Cafe (see review, right). The album Coid House is out n o w a n d w a s r e v i e w e d i n Issue 1218. F E L I X : C a n y o u i n t r o d u c e yourself, a n d say w h a t y o u do? R I C H A R D : I'm Richard a n d I play bass, a n d guitar sometimes. Is Cold House a n i n t e n t i o n a l p r o g r e s s i o n or d i d y o u have a p l a n at t h e start? A little bit, but, w e l l , it w a s just a bit haphazard really. We h a d a set of songs that w e l i k e d that fitted together, but a lot of it w a s trial a n d error. We w a n t e d to make a more diverse album, because we've done the same stuff throughout, but w e w a n t e d to do that without it s o u n d i n g like a compilation L P - w e wanted it to flow, so it w a s definitely intentional. Is there a n y s y m b o l i s m b e h i n d t h e title, Cold House? W h e r e d i d that c o m e from? It w a s w h a t Chris [lead vocals a n d guitar] w a n t e d to call his studio, 'cause he lives i n a cold house, a n d no other titles that w e came up w i t h really fitted. That one did, so it stayed, and w e also think that Cold House could be a genre of music. You've got Dose O n e a n d W h y ? [from c L O U D D E A D ] p e r f o r m i n g o n the r e c o r d - d i d y o u m e e t t h e m to r e c o r d it? They approached us a couple of years ago, w e hadn't heard of them, but Chris just loved it a n d w e thought "let's get t h e m i n on it", 'cause w e w a n t e d to work w i t h hip-hop people. We heard w h a t they were d o i n g and it wasn't dissimilar to our ideas; w e just h a d completely different backgrounds. A r e y o u g o i n g to c o n t i n u e u s i n g hip-hop? I don't k n o w really, 'cause w e try to change stuff on every album. We w a n t to do it but i n a really commercial way, like Puff Daddy, so w e w a n t really commercial samples so w e c a n have a hit a n d sell out [laughs]. I really w a n t to do it, but to make a full on hip-hop record w o u l d be too m u c h of an obvious move. I n o t i c e d m o r e t h a n e v e r o n CcJd House t h a t there are elem e n t s of g l i t c h c o r e a n d e l e c t r o n i c a , r e a l l y s i m i l a r to stuff o n T o y t r o n i c a n d Tigerbeat Six. H o w do y o u feel about comparisons to artists l i k e K i d 6 0 6 a n d Cex? It's OK, but I think we're more interested i n Autechre and Boards Of C a n a d a a n d stuff like that over here. I mean, I do like Cex and Kid606, but I also w a n t something w i t h a tune a n d a melody that you c a n follow. It's the more melodic end of electronica that w e like, but we're not closed to more abstract ideas. Finally, are there a n y l i v e a n t i c s p l a n n e d for t o n i g h t ? We always w a n t to make a lot more sound live, so it's not just like someone p u t t i n g a C D on. We w a n t to make it a bit different a n d more aggressive. But we're not as intense as w e used to be. W h e n w e p l a y e d w i t h M o g w a i about t w o years ago, they invited us up to play on Like Herod, a n d my brother Chris just came on w i t h his B M X a n d started riding around the stage i n huge circles. It w a s one of the most surreal things I've ever seen in my life. We're not g o i n g to be quite as w i l d as that tonight, I don't think. Unless Chris is p l a n n i n g something i n secret...


LIVE: Hood + Wauvenfold + Cassette Boy @ Arts Cafe Tonight's show features one of the most flawless line-ups I have ever experienced. W a u v e n f o l d are first to the stage. Tom Hill and Noel M u r p h y mutilate t w i t c h y cut-up beats a n d squeeze numerous melodic gurgles from their mixers a n d laptops, sounding established and confident. P l a y i n g tracks from their recent On the Blink ER Wauvenfold perform their songs w i t h ease and humour i n a live environment, a d d i n g a much-needed w a r m t h to their compositions.

Cassette B o y follow, w i t h their peculiar b l e n d of topical performance art a n d satirical cut 'n' paste. Very sick indeed, but very humorous nonetheless. Perhaps they could rely less on shock tactics a n d yes, perhaps they could attempt something more original. But as far as disturbing, sardonic m u s i c a l projects go, they're pretty unbeatable tonight.

Finally H o o d (pic above) take to the stage. This is the last leg of their U K tour, promoting their powerful n e w a l b u m Cold House. O p e ni n g w i t h They Removed All Trace That Anything Had Ever Happened Here, they p i t c h breakbeat rhythms against haunting violin drones, hesitant guitar a n d a delicate forlorn vocal. C o l d indeed! You c a n feel it i n the air, as their m u s i c seems to convey heightened emotion. Yet Hood's music sounds comparatively warmer live than on record, w i t h Gavin's faultless drumm i n g technique energising the b a n d a n d transforming them into a more relentless and aggressive unit. F i n d i n g time to perform a few older numbers, Hood b u i l d up their set subtly until a critical point is reached w h e n they explode into their finale, Diesel Pioneers. Ten minutes of furious mesmeric white noise follows, until Hood decide that enough is enough and quit the stage to rapturous applause. A spectacular performance from a naturally impressive band.


Francois & Chris

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reviews book

The Second Part of the novels of William Boyd The article p u b l i s h e d i n Felix last t e r m r e v i e w e d the first five books of W i l l i a m B o y d . Here w e examine h i s more recent work, s t a r t i n g w i t h w h a t m a n y consider to be h i s most a c c o m p l i s h e d novel The New Confessions (1987). It is c e r t a i n ly his longest a n d most ambitious work, t a k i n g i n major w o r l d events throughout t h e first half of t h e t w e n t i e t h century. It takes t h e form of t h e fictional autobiography of J o h n J a m e s Todd, w h o as w e have come to expect i n B o y d ' s work, is s o m e t h i n g of a loner, s t r u g g l i n g to relate w i t h h i s family, friends a n d society. The plot takes us from an austere Scottish u p b r i n g i n g , i n c l u d i n g of course another v i v i d account of life at a p u b l i c school, albeit a n extremely eccentric one. A p a r t from a n early gift for m a t h e m a t i c s (a fascination of Boyd's to w h i c h he returns i n his next novel), Todd finds his m a i n creative outlet i n photography, w h i c h eventually guides h i m t o w a r d s h i s career as a film director. T h e novel takes us t h r o u g h the horrors of the trenches i n the First W o r l d War, and a period i n a G e r m a n prisoner of w a r camp, w h i c h provides Todd w i t h t h e contacts that enable h i m to get a foothold i n the fledgling G e r m a n film industry, where he eventually makes his reputation. H i s only r e a d i n g materi al as a prisoner is Rousseau' s Confessions, w h i c h becomes a n o b s e s s i o n for h i m a n d t h e m a i n k e y to t h e novel. It is certainly, true that w h e n t h e a c t i on moves a w a y from G e r m a n y w i t h t h e rise of N a z i s m a n d w i t h Todd a t t e m p t i n g to .build a n e w career i n H o l l y w o o d , t h e story b e g i n s to lose m o m e n t u m . Todd sees little action i n the S e c o n d W o r l d War a n d the m a i n battles i n the latter part of his life come w i t h the spectre of M c C a r t h y i s m . It may perhaps be a truthful reflection of a life w h e r e great early promise is never fully r e a l i s e d a n d w h e r e t h e t w i l i g h t years may offer a chance of r e d e m p t i o n (the are m a n y t h i n g s i n Todd's life for w h i c h he h a s no cause to be proud), b u t not n e c e s s a r i l y a h a p p y e n d i n g . One gets t h e i m p r e s s i o n that B o y d h a s e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y e m b a r k e d u p o n a n epic, b u t ultimately hasn't t h e s t a m i n a to complete t h e task, but if this remarkable book fails to live u p to its early promise, the

attempt is never less t h a n e n t e r t a i n i n g a n d for the most part it is compelling. In Brazzaville Beach (1990) B o y d examines m a n y et hi cal issues relating to t h e nature of scientific research. H e m a n ages to w e a v e these concerns into a plot w h i c h e n c o m p a s s e s a doomed love story that takes place w i t h i n the M a t h e m a t i c s Department at Imperial College (a b a c k d r o p i n name only, the department is fortunately unrecognisable) l e a d i n g the m a i n character, Hope C l e a r w a t e r to flee L o n d o n for a n A f r i c a n primate research station, where she attempts to piece her life b a c k together. W h i l e the events i n E n g l a n d that l e d to her flight are g r a d u a l l y revealed i n flashback, t h e situation i n A f r i c a becomes fraught as her research o n t h e c h i m p a n z e e c o m m u n i t y b e g i n s to r a d i c a l l y conflict w i t h the l o n g h e l d theories of the project leader. The violence she observes i n the chimps behaviour is mirrored b y t h e c i v i l w a r t a k i n g place around her a n d the desperate attempts of senior m e m be r s of the research t e a m to suppress her findings. B o y d handles this plot w i t h incredible skill, c o m b i n i n g a novel of ideas w i t h a n a c t i on thriller. This is t h e t h i r d of his novels to be at least p a r t i a l l y set i n A f r i c a a n d these scenes constitute the most p o w e r f u l and evocative aspects of a complex but h i g h l y readable a n d g r i p p i n g story. For his next novel Blue Afternoon (1993), B o y d moves to a n e w continent, w i t h most of the a c t i on t a k i n g place i n M a n i l a i n 1902. A t one level this is an i n t r i g u i n g detective story i n a n unfamiliar h i s t o r i c a l setting. Salvador C a r r i s c a n t is a doctor, d e d i c a t e d to i n t r o d u c i n g m o d e r n m e d i c a l p r a c t i c e s into a country w h i c h is just recovery from a bloody c o l o n i a l w a r w i t h the U S A . H i s infatuation w i t h the wife of a n A m e r i c a n army officer develops into a full b l o w n affair, w h i l s t at the same time a series of murders takes place w i t h t h e evidence p o i n t i n g to the perpetrator b e i n g a m e d i c a l m a n . This central core of the novel is b o o k e n d e d b y t h e story of Kay Fischer, a s t r u g g l i n g L o s A n g e l e s architect, w h o i n 1936 encounters C a r r i s c a n t as a n o l d m a n w h e n he comes to her c l a i m i n g to be her father. This d u a l p e r s p e c t i v e opens u p the story, d e e p e n i n g the mystery s u r r o u n d i n g C a r r i s c a n t , so that although one c a n admire his efforts to m o d e r n i s e t h e M a n i l a h o s p i t a l w h e n faced w i t h every k i n d of o b s t r u c t i v e n e s s , prejudice a n d s u s p i c i o n , he remains s o m e t h i n g of a n e n i g m a . Once again B o y d d i s p l a y s his m a s t e r y of a c o m p l e x narrative, m a i n t a i n i n g the s u s p e n s e a n d d e l i v e r i n g a f e w shocks i n the process. The Destiny of Nathalie X (1995) is B o y d ' s s e c o n d short story collection and it is d o m i n a t e d b y the title story, w h i c h is one of the best t h i n g s he has w r i t t e n . T h e s o c i a l satire of his t h i r d novel Stars a n d Bars w a s sometimes o v e r b l o w n , but here it is razor sharp. In 40 pages he di s s e c ts m o d e r n H o l l y w o o d as producers, agents a n d actors queue up to exploit the latest E u r o p e a n art house success i n the shape of a n e w A f r i c a n / French director A u r e l i a n . Our hero is probabl y insane, b u t the i n d u s t r y is desperate to l a u d h i s genius w i t h d e v a s t a t i n g a n d hilarious results. N o t h i n g else i n this sometimes e x p e r i m e n t a l collect i o n quite matches this o p e n i n g shot, b u t a l l t h e stories are entertaining.

book reviews Finally w e have Armadillo (1998), Boyd's tale of the "little armed man", Lorimer Black, w h o works as an insurance loss adjuster. Black wears invisible armour every day as he carefully prepares the image he w i l l present to his business clients. In fact his whole life has b e e n reinvented, so that the real Milo Blocj w i t h his loving but d e m a n d i n g family are consigned to a completely separate sphere. Lorimer blends perfectly in a w o r l d where nothing is quite w h a t it seems, but his stability is rocked w h e n he is assigned to investigate a major business fraud that seems to taint everyone associated w i t h it. To make his life even more complicated he becomes infatuated w i t h a w o m a n he has glanced briefly, driving b y i n a taxi. B o y d extends the armour metaphor even further as Lorimer Black collects ancient (and of course expensive) helmets. W h e n he accidentally traps his o w n head in his latest acquisition, he has to be freed by the local casualty department, a literal release prompting h i m to reclaim his real self. If you w a t c h e d the recent television production of this novel (adapted for the screen by Boyd), reading the book can seem like looking over a familiar script. There is an extra sub-plot here concerning a rock m u s i c i a n w h o claims to have suffered a debilitating breakdown, but w h o manages to rebuild his career b a s e d on w h a t he perceives and Black's other-worldly cool (a taste for esoteric music), but otherwise Boyd's T V translation w a s faithful to the original. It appears that B o y d has not lost his taste for oddball characters, far flung geographical locations and a long historical perspective. A p r i l sees the p u b l i c a t i o n of a n e w novel Any Human Heart: The Intimate Journals Of Logan Mountstuart, another fictional autobiography w h i c h promises to take us on a global journal through the t w e n t i e t h century. E v e n after reading ten of his books in quick succession, m y appetite is whetted rather than satiated and I shall be joining the queues as the checkout. A C o m p l e t e list of t h e w o r k s of W i l l i a m B o y d A Good M a n in A f r i c a (1982) A n Ice-Cream War (1983) On The Yankee Station (1984) Stars and Bars (1985) School Ties (1986) The N e w Confessions (1988) Brazzaville B e a c h (1991) The Blue Afternoon (1995) The Destiny of Nathalie X and Other Stories (1997) Armadillo (1998) To be p u b l i s h e d in A p r i l 2002 by H a m i s h - H a m i l t o n is W i l l i a m Boyd's n e w novel, Any Human Heart: The Intimate Journals Of Logan Mountstuart (priced at ÂŁ17.99.) This is the story of L o g a n Mountstuart, told through his intimate journals. H is life spans the 20th century and his travels take the reader from Uruguay to Oxford, Paris, the Bahamas, N e w York and Africa. We meet his three wives, and notaries from the worlds of royalty a n d literature.


Open Season by C J Box Putnam, $23.95 Game warden, Joe Pickett is your ideal family m a n w i t h a loving wife, Marybeth, t w o young daughters and another child on the way. Joe is the ranger in Saddlestrmg, a s m a l l Wyoming t o w n w h i c h is typical of any rural A m e r i c a n d w e l l i n g , right d o w n to M a i n Street and the large number of townsfolk who enjoy h u n t i n g in the nearby countryside. One Sunday morning, Joe's discovers the body of a local outfitter in the woodpile in his backyard. In the man's h a n d is an empty cooler, w h i c h has all the signs that it contained a small animal. This local m a n is no stranger to Joe as in the first w e e k of his job Joe caught the outfitter, Ote Keeley, poaching deer. The confrontation, at the time, ended w i t h Ote humiliating Joe by grabbing his gun a w a y from him. Joe immediately contacts the County Sheriff B u d B a r n u m and Barnum recalls that Ote h a d gone into the B i g h o r n Mountains w i t h t w o other men as part of a poaching ring. The Sheriff decides to send one of his deputies along w i t h Joe and Wacey Hedeman, a neighbouring game w a r d e n into the mountains to bring back the other poachers. W h e n they arrive at the campsite they find that the other guides have been murdered and a local vagrant (who w a s killed at the campsite w h e n the rangers opened fire) is accused of the murders. The case seems closed but Joe is not entirely happy and he has many questions unanswered. These questions and especially their answers w i l l not only affect Joe but serious jeopardize his life and that of his family. This is the first novel by C. J . Box and w i l l probably end up on numerous shortlists for best first novel. The plot, in my opinion, is interesting but quite thin and although it discusses many issues such as environmentalism, b i g industry and the struggle to do the right t h i n g in life it doesn't cover any n e w ground. What makes this story stand out is the author's description of remote wilderness (similar to Steve Hamilton's A C o l d Day in Paradise) and his character development. This is definitely true of Joe. Some people w o u l d (cruelly) describe h i m as slow but is in fact quite sharp, deeply loyal, and very stubborn and has a devotion to his family above all else. The portrayal of his wife, his daughters (especially his eldest, Sheridan) are equal believable while the lesser characters and equally convincing. A l a s though there were not enough potential villains and the dialogue sometimes sags. Box has heaps of potential for the future and many others w o u l d be proud of this as a first novel. One final t h i n g I w o u l d like to say about this book is that it's the first book of possible hundreds of mystery titles that I have read where I guessed both the villain and the reasons w h y the crimes were committed about half w a y in. I'm still not sure if this is a good thing or a b a d one. The w r i t i n g , though, w a s crisp enough to keep me interested in the characters until the very and quite shocking end. Published my Putnam, $23.95 and is available from A m a z o n , Crime in Store and can be ordered from any leading bookshop.

reviews book proper feel for Matt and his past I w o u l d start earlier. Some fans say that n e w readers should start w i t h either the fifth or sixth novels (Eight Million Ways To Die a n d When The Sacred Ginmill Closes.) Starting w i t h these novels you are introduced straight away w i t h the brilliance of Block's w r i t i n g but they miss out on Matt's alcoholism. For me you have to start w i t h the first book (The Sins Of The Fathers) to get a true feeling for the w o r l d of M a t t h e w Scudder. For those w h o do w i s h to begin at the beginning, Orion has just p ub l i s he d the first three M a t t Scudder novels i n a very attractive trade p a p e r b a c k e n t i t l e d T h e M a t t S c u d d e r M y s t e r i e s V o l u m e I: The Sins Of The Fathers/ In The M i d s t Of Death/ T i m e To M u r d e r A n d Create p r i c e d at a very reasonable ÂŁ10.99 and available i n any major or specialist bookshop.

The Best Reads of


Block, Orion, ÂŁ16.99 If I h a d any choice i n the matter I w o u l d love to make a home for myself i n N e w York. After numerous trips to this city it is one place I feel totally comfortable both w i t h the people and the t o w n itself. Over this past year I have read numerous novels (especially mysteries) w h i c h take place i n this city a n d its five boroughs. I c a n say that the best writer, i n my m i n d , w h o manages to get a grip, not just n o w but for the last four decades, on the vibrant cosmopolitan a n d dark side of this city is the writer of the M a t t Scudder series, Lawrence Block.

Below I have compiled a list of w h a t I consider to have been the best books that I personally read i n 2001. Not all books were published i n 2001 but they were read over the past year. I w o u l d love to hear from anyone w h o has a similar list or if anyone wishes to write i n w i t h the title of their favourite book of the past 12 months at A l l the books below are available through A m a z o n or i n the many bookshops throughout London. A n y of w h i c h that are out of print are indicated w i t h a star(*).

A prominent a n d well-to-do N e w York City couple, Bryne and Susan Hollander, returning to their Upper West Side apartment on a fine summer day are brutally murdered by t w o thieves and their bodies are discovered a few hours later by their daughter, Kristin. A few days later the murderers are found dead in a Brooklyn apartment. The likelihood is that their deaths resulted from a murder/suicide after a falling out. To the police this is an openand-shut case but the couple's niece has her suspicions that their daughter, w h o inherits a fortune w i t h their deaths, is involved somehow. She relays these doubts to M a t t Scudder w h o decides to look at the case for her and of course he discovers more than just a simple robbery/murder. In this the fifteenth Scudder novel, the former alcoholic PI is very different from the y o u n g m a n that w a s introduced 30 years ago. Scudder has aged w i t h each book (he is n o w 61) a n d so his reactions, both p h y s i c a l a n d mental, are not as quick as they once were. He has m e l l o w e d over the years a n d works more w i t h the police t h a n once he d i d . Hope to Die has m a n y of the familiar characters that w e have been introduced to i n previous novels such as Elaine, M i c k Ballou a n d T J . Block writes about the people a n d their actions w i t h shocking reality as he does w i t h N e w York itself. L i k e w i t h all Scudder novels, I can find no faults w i t h this novel a n d it w o u l d seem that Lawrence Block is as good a writer as w h e n he started out m a n y years ago. Note: Hope to Die c a n be read as a stand alone but to get a

A l l fifteen Matt Scudder mysteries (especially W h e n The Sacred G i n m i l l Closes, Out O n The C u t t i n g Edge, A Walk A m o n g The Tombstone, w e l l all of them) - L a w r e n c e Block The Later Elvis Cole novels (Indigo Slam a n d L A Requiem), Demolition A n g e l a n d Hostage - Robert Crais Right A s Ram and H e l l To Pay - George Pelecanos Pest Control and Cross Dressing - Bill F i t z h u g h The City A n d The Pillar - Gore V i d a l The Debt To Pleasure - John Lanchester Open Season - C J Box The first four Stephanie P l u m Novels (One For The Money, Two For The Dough, Three To Get Ready a n d Four To Score) - Janet Evanovich The Hot Rock - Donald E Westlake A l l Seven M y r o n Bolitar novels (especially Fade Away, Deal Breaker and One False Move) a n d Tell No One - H a r l a n C o b e n Parnall Hall - Detective(*) The Kenzie and Gennaro novels (especially A Drink Before The War and Darkness, Take M y Hand) a n d M y s t i c River - Dennis Lehane The first four Harry Bosch novels (The Black Echo, The Black Ice, The Concrete Blonde a n d The Last Coyote) a n d The Poet M i c h a e l Connelly Here's hoping 2002 is as good a literary year as 2001 w a s .


IC's new Wine Tasting, fLeal Ale and Cocktail Societ

7.30 p.m. Tuc/day 2 2 n d January d B V , ICU Ground Ploor Pree Entry

coffee break

Crossword by Turnip Henry & Wailer Ned 1








Across: i . Dave r a n around the terrace. (7)


5. 9.

tubes! (8,7) 10. Reserves w e s t of N e w York look b r o w n . (5)




16 17


i19 21





11. C h a r g e i n b r e a s t is implicit! (5) 12. Green fruit t u r n e d to grin? (5) 15. Bone d e c o m p o s e s i n old house. (3,3) 16. River c o n t a i n s v e r y quiet teat. (6) 17. M a c e s w h i r l a r o u n d summits. (5) 18. A l l h i p abount mem-





Devil sounds like girl's pelt. (7) They'll clear your


bers! (6) swal19. Peace-keepers low. Back, a n d w i t h draw! (6) 21. Sodium on French life is rather innocent. (5) 24. D r u g g e d episode is of an anchor. (5) 26. State your p e n c h a n t !

Down: 1. M u s e u m that Felix editor left. (7) 2.

Tracks deportement i n train. (7,8)

3. 4.

Goat au pair? (5) M e n t a l h e l p seeker?


(6) L e g a l l y replete is left



awful! (6) S o u n d s like b i g - c a t lost its tail. W h a t a fiddle! (5) A l o r s , je brighten your

shine, no? (6, 9) I hear flower cons u m e d prize. (7) 12. M a r k reserves i n s i n .


(5) 13. Sexually librated declaration i n verse! (5) 14. E n g l i s h student u n i o n takes d r u g to


(5) 18. Foggy dish? (3-4) 20. More innocent, and full of chlorophyll. (7) 22. I start w i t h a canvas!

Hello! It is I, Wailer N e d , b a c k for a special crossword, w h i c h could be the only good t h i n g about term starting on a Wednesday. Turnip Henry a n d I have crafted this g r i d from only the finest materials - the black is organically harvested from sustainable deep-space, a n d the w h i t e is (6) 23. Hoover in space? That practically scraped off the A n g e l s ' laundry. (5) sucks! (6) Unfortunately, Dr Hot Pudge is still d e l i q u e s c i n g over some confection 27. G o o d speaker g i v e s good fellatio? (4, 11) 25. Skiing drunkenly. (5) or other a n d B o b b y C y c l o p s probably got lost on his w a y back to college 26. E d u c a t e b r i d a l wear? due to parallax problems. Hopefully, w e ' l l have retrieved our errant cof- 28. Prologue gives ulterior motive. (7) (5) fee break composers b y the time y o u join us next week. Despite their who matures absence, w e fully intend that completion of this crossword w i l l qualify 29. One blokes is i n charge. (7) you for entry into the grand prize d r a w at the e n d of the year. If not, it'll probably qualify y o u for entry into Dr Hot Fudge -1 hear he's not choosy. PATIENT PARTICIPATION GROUP MEETING Neither Turnip nor I have the faintest idea w h a t the answers were for at Imperial College Health Centre Southside, Prince's the previous crossword inflicted on the populace. M y advice is to guess, Gardens on Tuesday 12th February 2002 from 1 - 2 p.m. w i t h the general rule that a n X rarely follows a C, a n d that w e w o u l d All patients are welcome to attend our Patient never consider u s i n g a w o r d unacceptable to the Pope. A p a r t from 'slip- Participation Group Meeting. This will offer an opportunity to talk to the doctors and nurses here about any issues of pery', w h i c h is clearly a totally d i s g u s t i n g w o r d . G 'N i g ht. concern or interest in relation to the Health Centre. Wailer Ned

sport active

ERASMUS Take The Cup O n a cold winter's morning 16 teams descended o n Hackney to vie for glory i n the Overseas Students' Committee (OSC) 5-aside football tournament. Luckily Jack Frost h a d no say as the competition took p l a c e indoors at the beautiful Space Leisure Centre a n d no t e a m could afford to be "spaced out" as each of the four groups w a s as tough as the next. Hot favourites Sikh Soc were the first to stamp their authorit y o n proceedings w i t h a t h u m p i n g 8-3 victory i n t h e very first game, if variety is the spice of life then this contest w a s to be a Real M a s a l a . E R A S M U S too, one of the newest additions to the O S C group, were looking strong blending football styles from across Europe to dazzling effect. Towards the e n d of the group stage things w e r e reaching boiling point, w i t h everyone fighting tooth and nail for a cov-

eted spot i n the quarterfinals. Surprise team of the C u p were undoubtedly Thai Soc w h o s e intricate passing a n d lighting speed s a w them all the w a y to the semis. Little praise could be given to the O S C Exec team; they were described b y some as being i n the midst of a "Manchester U n i t e d style" crisis. H a v i n g assembled a n all-star line up, including three of last year's Afro C a r i b b e a n Society w i n ners, a series of ludicrous errors a l a Messers Barthez a n d Cole meant that going into their last g a m e they were w i t h o u t a point. Only a last minute 1-0 w i n n e r against Indian Soc saved their blushes as both crashed out. A n d so after m u c h delicious soccer, the last 4 teams still standing were E R A S M U S , Thai Soc, S i k h Soc a n d T u r k i s h Society - the real dark horses of the tournament. The first semi

Wrestlemania T h i s w i n t e r s a w t h e brave members of t h e I m p e r i a l College M i x e d M u d Wrestling Team (ICMMWT) intrepidly s e t t i n g out into t h e arctic w a s t e s of N o r t h Wales t o engage i n combat o n the peak of Snowdon, where they w e r e to obliterate a l l opposition to g a i n the title of 'Dirtiest Little M o n k e y s In T h e World'.

moment w h e n they could strike the k i l l i n g blow, a n d render the other one topless. U s i n g a c u n n i n g manoeuvre learnt i n ' N a m , L i n d s e y soon got the upper h a n d , ripping the flimsy fabric of her opponent's bodice asunder like so m u c h moist tissue paper.

This w a s no easy task, however, h a v i n g to take on the cream of the w o r l d ' s crop of m u d wrestlers, but one that the I C M M W T faced w i t h guts and determination.

The next round s a w James 'Dirty D i r t y ' Saffin demolish poor O d i n 'Dirty Dirty D i r t y ' Watts, for another 8 points to the I C M M W T , a n d this l e a d w a s built upon b y Penny 'Filthy, Dirty, Filthy, L i t t l e Monkey' Moomin, whose top-

The first bout s a w L i n d s e y 'Dirty' Brookes t a k i n g o n F a i C h u n ' H u - L a n g ' Jones, where they t u s s l ed in the deep, deep m u d , v y i n g for t h a t fatal

r i p p i n g technique w a s unsurp a s s e d , b r i n g i n g the rather m u d d y cup back home. Where c a n w e go from here, b u t d o w n ? Into the mud...

s a w Sikh Soc thrash the Thais 4-0 (including a blistering hattrick from Player of t h e Tournament - Parveiz Petkar) leaving Sikh 'keeper Stuart "Singh" Coleman without havi n g to make a save. The second semi s a w E R A S M U S continuing w i t h their solid brand of football to grind out a 2-0 victory over the decidedly frustrated Turkish side. A n d so the final s a w E R A S M U S line u p against the as-yet-unbeaten Sikh Soc team.

gave as good as they got a n d responded w i t h a c r a c k i n g equaliser h a v i n g gone 1-0 down. E R A S M U S though left a little i n reserve going ahead w i t h t w o classic strikes, w h i c h w o u l d not look out of place in next Cup in summers World Japan/South Korea. They weathered late pressure from the Sikh side w e l l surviving a last minute disallowed equaliser and the tantrums of Sikh Live Wire Vishaal Chhatralia (EE2) eventually running out 3-2 w i n ners and champions of the tournament.

The third-fourth play-off w a s naturally a low-key affair w i t h the tired looking Thai side going d o w n 3-0. This left all eyes focused on Court 1 for the G r a n d e Finale w h e r e m u c h w a s expected of the t w o finalists; and neither failed to disappoint. Both teams shook of their tiredness to contest the match of the tournament. Sikh Soc, despite not having any substitutes for the whole competition

Live sport on the

The real winner i n this affair w a s the OSC, celebrating their largest ever sporting event a n d providing h i g h expectations for next year's contest as w e l l as for International Night (Feb 7th ) - a celebration of the many overseas cultures at I C U - see you there! Shovi


Sunday 13th J a n . Southampton


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