/1996_1061_A by Ravi Pall

FELIX

The student newspaper of Imperial College Issue 1061 June 14th 1996

'No confidence' vote for Ghassan by prematurely leaving his U L U post to take up employment elsewhere. Although Mr Karian has taken up a full time position, he has not resigned his U L U presidency, the contract of which is due to run until the end of July. The first of two motions tabled seeks to censure Mr Karian for his involvement in the New Solutions lobby group. The movement won a recent victory with the reversal of the NUS's Mr Karian has raised the ire policy of campaigning to return of many of the colleges in London student grants to 1979 levels.

Y The future of University of London Union's president, Ghassan Karian, hangs in the balance pending a no confidence vote next Tuesday. The U L U General Union Council will meet to discuss a motion tabled by the Queen Mary and Westfield College sabbatical team, which raises concern over his new position as a Labour party Campaigns coordinator.

The second proposes a vote of no confidence in the U L U president, a move that Imperial College Union's delegates to the G U C have been mandated to support. If the motion of no confidence is passed, Mr Karian will have been effectively sacked, leaving unfinished the U L U work which he has continued to do. Additionally, he would no longer be required to be present during the U L U sabbaticals handover period when the incoming offi-

cers are trained. This could jeopardise the training of I C U President Sarah White, who was elected as next year's U L U president last month. Speaking to Felix, Mr Karian was in a unrepentant mood: "I could have walked away from U L U , |but| I've been at government committees, finance meetings, a million and one meetings, unpaid." He said Q M W s Union officers were "petty politicians, who have nothing better to do C o n t i n u e d o n page three

Security swoops on bikes

Y Students cycling to the Chemistry and Biochemistry departments on Tuesday were stunned to find that bikes previously attached to railings outside the buildings had been summarily removed by Security, with little warning. The bikes removed had apparently been unused for some time and were considered a fire hazard by Security. When asked about the relative flammability of a pair of bicycles as compared to the chemistry department

itself, Ken Weir, IC's head of Security, refused to be drawn, he claimed that the bikes were attached too close to the main doors and would hinder escape from the buildings in an emergency. At the time of going to press, no-one has come forward to claim the bikes. When asked if the missing owners would be able to reclaim their D-Locks, Mr Weir refused to comment, instead stating "I would prefer people to use the bicycle racks provided in future."

P H O T O : ROBIN RILEY

y With considerably greater ease than for the BMS building, planning permission for the library extension has been granted first time. Westminster Council gave the go-ahead last week. Page 2

Emergency services were called to Tizard Hall in response to an attempted suicide by an exboyfriend of a resident. The Subwarden and Warden administered aid to the man. Page

Imperial College's Iranian Society has been banned from having meetings of more than 20 people for the next three years following an incident last week in the Huxley building. Page 3

FELIX

FRIDAY JUNE 14TH 1 9 9 6

All change at the Lido Construction

of a safer,

user-friendly

bathing

been

proceeding

area has

around the

L i d o Cafe on the Serpentine in Hyde

Park

weeks.

f o r t h e past f e w

T h e building

involving

divers

progam,

working

pilings i n t h e S e r p e n t i n e , s h o u l d be

finished

summer,

in time

for the

a n d has p r o v i d e d an

interesting

spectacle

for

customers at t h e L i d o . The

Cafe

has also

under-

gone an extensive r e f u r b i s h m e n t since last season, changing into a much

commercialised

operation.

P H O T O : IVAN C H A N

More storeys for books Y A t the 6 p m meeting on the 6 t h of

June,

Westminster

Council

a p p r o v e d i t e m 6 o n t h e agenda: extensive plans f o r i m p r o v e m e n t of t h e library f a c i l i ti e s . W o r k has already begun t o strengthen t h e b u i l d i n g ' s f o u n d a tions p r e p a r a t o r y to t h e a d d i t i o n of t h e extra floors, p r o j e c t e d t o begin i n J u l y . T h e m a i n entrance w i l l be closed over t h e s u m m e r as w o r k begins o n t h e lift shafts, and

a temporary

entrance a n d

issue desk w i l l be set u p o n l e v e l t w o , accessible via S h e r f i e l d . The

m a i n entrance

re-opened in O c t o b e r ,

w i l l be although

work will continue on the roof and lifts. The new-look lobby will incorporate a larger bookshop than the one presently on Sherfield walkway. In April 1997 the main stair case will be extended to the fifth floor. In order to minimise the disruption to study during the building work, loan allowances will be extended, permitting students to borrow more books so they can study elsewhere. The plans are on display in the library, and further information will be available from the library homepage on http://www.lib.ic.ac.uk/

Boatclub's Bill to lead UK Olympic rowing team Y T h e I C Boat C l u b M a n a g e r B i l l Mason

will

rowing

team

Olympics

lead

this

women's

the Atlanta

summer.

The

w o m e n ' s eight w o n t h e s e l e c t i o n regatta in L u c e r n e last w e e k e n d , b r e a k i n g t h e course setting ever.

the third

record and fastest

time

T h e A m e r i c a n team had

broken

t h e course

record the

w e e k e n d before, o n l y t o have it s m a s h e d by t h e B r i t i s h . The team, w h o come

from

a r o u n d t h e c o u n t r y , w i l l join I C

Boat Club Coach Steve Ellis on the British Olympic, rowing squad. IC Boat Club had further success in last weekend's London Docklands regatta. They entered a total of ten events, coming away with gold in seven of them. Their successes included winning the Men's Senior Open Eights on both days, the Women's Senior Open on Sunday. The men's firsts also won the Open Eight and Open Four events on both days.

News in brief Y

Another bill from the VAT man

club, which has cast doubts on the club's accountability. The Social and Cultural Amusements Board, under whose authority Jazz and Rock falls, received two queries as to the whereabouts of the equipment. Mr Finch was able to identify what was missing at a meeting on Tuesday.

Imperial College could face a extra V A T bill of as much as ÂŁ40,000 annually after a ruling this week. An exemption clause which meant that charitable institutions, including universities, didn't have to pay V A T on SCAB executive officers staff recruitment advertising has have been worried lately over the been revoked. Jazz and Rock club, as the sociOnly last year Imperial's ety's organisation seems opaque. staff newspaper, The IC Also, since Jazz and Rock club Reporter, ran a competition to officers have been unable to find an appropriate V A T slogan. attend SCAB meetings recently, But the slogan: At the leading there has been a lack of response to members concerns. As Felix edge oj research, innovation and learning will no longer be enough went to press, there have been no to give IC exemption from tax reports as to the whereabouts of the amplifier. bills.

Jazz & rock mystery Concerns over the safety of the Jazz and Rock club's equipment came to a head this week when a large power amplifier was reported missing. The amplifier had not been seen for a couple of weeks before its disappearance was noted, as the Jazz and Rock club's chairman wasn't available to confirm that it actually existed. The chairman, Stefan Finch, has been studying for exams recently and has not been able to attend to the

Lecturers against loans At its conference last week, the lecturers' union Natfhe voted against the Labour party shift from student grants to loans. Reflecting the growing militancy in university teachers worried about job security, the union has decided to set up a 'battle plan' to lobby against continuing job cuts in the higher eduaction sector. They plan to set up a strike fund to cover possible industrial action by lecturers.

continued from front p;t^r than grind their axe," and bullishly said, "Let them do what they like, I would prefer not to have to do two jobs." Defending his career move, Mr Karrian insisted that the had "done more work in ten months than any of my predecessors did in twelve." Lie seemed unconcerned by the threat to his position. Quoting Margaret Thatcher, whom he describes as 'his hero', he said, "I fight, I fight on, I fight to win." However, support for Ghassan seems thin on the ground. Kate Hampton, the London School of Economic Union's General Secretary, said that she and her delegates would be supporting the move to censure Ghassan at the very least, saying that most colleges are "extremely angry at Ghassan." Mr Karian's defection to another job so quickly after the ULU elections has been described as "cynical" in some

FELIX

quarters. Many suggest that he is putting unreasonable pressures on his successors, while others suggest that the implications if he has to completely break links with U L U are even worse. These fears could be behind the tabling of a motion of confidence by Claire Lawrie of LSE, one of next year's U L U sabbatical officers. With particular reference to the I C U support for the noconfidence motion, Mr Karian complained that he hadn't been given a chance to defend himself at the Council meeting where the G U C delegates were mandated to back it. He said that "justice wasn't done," because the delegates are now obliged to vote against him regardless. The comment holds particular irony for QMW, as Ghassan criticised their NUS delegates for going against a mandate by not supporting Ghassan's New Solutions movement at the NUS conference earlier this year.

PHOTO: ALEX FEAKES

"Let them do what they like": Ghassan Karian speaks at a recent General Union Council meeting at U L U .

3 year ban for Iran Soc Y Imperial's Iranian society have been banned from having any large scale speaker meetings after an unauthorised event last month turned into a security incident. They will not be allowed to organise events on IC premises for three years. The society booked the Clore lecture theatre in the Huxley building via Imperial College Union and IC's conference centre. Authorisation was given for an internal event lor 100 people on May 30th, but the meeting attracted well over 300 people, arousing the suspicion of the local police. IC Estates Director Ian Caldwell and ICU President Sarah White were called to the scene. Only around fifty of the audience were Imperial students or staff. College staff were particularly concerned that the event had been advertised outside Imperial: the promotional leaflets, written in Farsi, were clearly designed for non-IC students, giving directions from South Kensington Station. "They say that someone else organised

the advertising, but if they can't control it they can't be trusted to run events," Sarah said. "They've shown that they're incapable of organising an event properly." The speaker, Dr Abdul Karim Sonosh, a well-known Iranian philosopher, is known to Scotland Yard. The organiser allegedly claimed that, because Dr Sonosh hadn't been in Iran for 10 years, he didn't realise how famous he was. Although the franian Society will not be able to organise any more large scale events, Professor Alan Swanson, Pro Rector (Educational Quality) explained that there was "no intention of stopping the organisation from having internal meetings of their Imperial College members," The ban, which came after discussions between the Pro Rector, College security and ICU, has been extended to cover ICU's Beit Quad premises as well as the Conference centre meeting areas. The ICU executive decided on Tuesday to allow the society to appeal against the decision from November 1997,

FRIDAY JUNE 1 4TH 1 9 9 6 .

t e e

currently h a v e two v a c a n c i e s in the C e n t r e ( S a l a r y in the r a n g e E 1 6 - 2 3 K p.a.)

PC W e need a graduate a with a good understanding of P C hardware and software, and a keen interest in developing new skills in Windows 95, the Windows NT operating system and its components. Knowledge of M S D O S , UNIX and T C P / I P is also needed.

Workstation W e need a graduate with knowledge of UNIX on S u n or Digital platforms to install and configure clusters of workstations in departments. Knowledge of systems administration particularly in a server/client configuration would also be a distinct advantage. Both candidates should be keen to expand their skills and be able to work as a part of a team. The ability to communicate well with users and a commitment to providing high quality service are also important. If you are graduating from College this year and think you might be suitable, I would very much like to hear from you. Lindsay Coleman Departmental Administrator

(email: l.coleman@ic.ac.uk) (ext 46901)

FELIX

FRIDAY JUNE 14TH 1 9 9 6

Suicide attempt by jilted boyfriend Y An ambulance and two lireengines were called to Tizard Hall in Princes Gardens on Saturday night following the attempted suicide ol a female resident's ex-boyfriend. The presence of so many emergency vehicles worried a number of Southside residents into thinking that there had been a major fire in the building.

and pleaded with the female resident for a reconciliation. When this finally proved to be of no avail the young man, who is not an Imperial College student, attempted to take his own life by swallowing a large number of tablets, possibly a mixture of paracetamol and sleeping pills. He is also thought to have been drinking heavily beforehand.

At this point the young woman left the room and alerted The couple had reportedly Tizard subwarden Colleen Lee, been in a relationship for twowho in turn contacted College and-a-half years before splitting up, at her instigation, nine security and Tizard Hall's months ago. They are not Warden, Dr John Hassard of the thought to have spoken for the physics department. last eight months, although the Ms Lee and Dr Hassard then boyfriend is believed to have administered emergency detoxiunsuccessfully attempted to re- fying treatment using powdered establish communication through graphite before the arrival of the a series of letters. emergency services. Following further intensive treatment by Events came to head on Saturday when the boyfriend ambulance crewmen and in entered Tizard Hall at around hospital that night, the patient 7pm, in a state of some distress, was pronounced 'out of danger'

•

F R E S H

at around L30am on Sunday morning. He discharged himself later that afternoon. As an additional precaution, the young man, whom has not yet been named, is to receive counselling in order to help him recover from his obsession and the events of Saturday night. Although Southside Halls were evacuated after a fire alarm which sounded during the incident, widespread rumours that the man tried to set fire to his exgirlfriend and her room are untrue. There had been suggestions that the man had brought two petrol cans into the hall with him. The emergency services sent two fire-engines around half an hour later. This incident comes just 18 months after a suicide attempt in Selkirk Hall, of which John Hassard is also Warden. Speaking to Felix, Dr Hassard commended Ms Lee on her prompt action,

H A I R

and pointed out that the Tizard Hall Subwardens were already in a heightened state of awareness to the presence of intruders following a series of thefts from the Hall's games machines. Furniture in the Selkirk Hall television lounge was vandalised last weekend. Dr Hassard went on to say: "This is a very sad story... It is sad how someone can become obsessed in this way. We must all be vigilant of strangers, and remember that there is no security in Halls except for that that the students provide themselves." • The incident has once again raised questions over the security of students in Halls, and their vulnerability to intruders creeping into the buildings. How an obviously drunk person without identification was allowed into the Hall has not yet been resolved.

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FRIDAY JUNE 1 4TH 1 9 9 6 .

BE YOU... OR msm T? o

" t

may be realised (yes, it could), then tile only consistent and log cai response wbufd b e t o apply the same perception of odds to other situations. Thus, as l emerged f o m the post office clutcning my lottery ticket, I would naveto be encased in titanium, should a falling piahoJapd on my head. And of course I could never cross the road again, Pecause I would surely die; both these events having a greater ke'ihood of occu r:ng to me than winning the jackpot. r

"Well... it could be me, couldn't it?" and she ambled out of the post office clutching her lottery ticket. She was righrjjjt could indeed be her. Both she and I kre;.' ii procab y wouldn't be, but it could. Repealing thilexperiment in a variety of locations around London, across different age ranges, one gets the same reply: "It could be me, it could be me."

A statement Of statistical probability has been;bought by millions and is repeated across the land fke^a: prayer (which of course it i s ! It provides ample justification to thousands who waste awayvthelr cash on this

pursuit, yet it* could you doesn't offer a reasonaPle explanation tope.

The current: furpretpver BSE contrasts strongly witff the aPove case, Pecause millions of people have played up the infinitesimaliy small chances of contracting CJD from eating beef. Faced with this, we would exoect those with knowledge of these matters to provide some security. We generally do not expect Peef to kill, so when evidence shows that it may, the actual probability is exaggerated.

Attempting to understand behaviour is f u t h e r comsounded by the human tendency to form patterns,: to be ether extremely, cautious or optimistic, and to attach importance to events which are nothing more than coincidence. (Did you know that the probability of you sharing a birthday with somebody else in your lecture is very close to one?) In fact, humans are anything but rational.

the

the odds here?''

t s

And this is the real crux of tec matter, which lies at the heart of the lottery's success, but also at the rootof the 2SF a nd baoy m < cr ses. f e a of flying and so on. Considering the lottery first, I do not play because if I played the lottery, I would play in the expectation of winning. There would oe no logic to my .playing otherwise,: unless I gained fromphe miid psychological kiekr which millions of others receive at 8 . 0 0 p m every. Saturday; but less us assume that I play only in? the hope of winning the jackpot. That probability is famously small. Given that I have brought a ticket in the belief that the small expectation :

The inconsistent behaviour of the public with the odds can be explained Py their incorrect assessment of the risk. Thus with road crossing, we know (impersonally) of millions who have presumably crossed the road safely y ^ a u i i e l v e s , but we actually know very few oeooe who have died from this act. With too large a sample size, we are destined to downplay the real risk of crcss.ng ;no road.

Lottery players would scoff at my a'gumeni and argue that I have ignored the oalance between downside risk and possible payoff;.Thus with the lottery, the worst that can happen is that you lose a pound, but you could ga ÂŤ a massive fortune. The worst outcome initnls case is relatively painless, and so the game e is justif'oc. :

Unfortunately, the same o g c would mean that I wouid have to assess the variable;iisks of crossing the road as follows: best outcome - successful crossing; worst o u t c o m e - death. Hardly an appealing choice, yet people apparently defy the 'odds and survive this reckless activity every day. Do they know that their chance of dying in any type of road accident is one ,n eigrt thousand 7

'you' it's hargly surprising.that the public's behaviour appears mau The word of a scientist is even more suspect f he or she not only says! "X is probable in 1000 trials," but then continues, "But it still might not happen, even in 1000 trials." In the face of this apparent paradox, the public feel even more comfortaPle with their own assessment of danger. That is why they continue to play football. Of course they are right to do so, precisely because a statement of proPability relating to death in a football match is not a statement of certainty.

What I wanted/to know was, "Why do you piay the lottery when you know the chances are i/iai you, won't win? Why indulge i n this "waste of time when there is more chance of you dying from a radiation leak from a nearby nuclear power station?

hell are you

Given the current sporting climate, arc footoaHers aware that t h e l chances of dying on the pitsh in any one year are one n twenty five t h o u s a n | | I think they should beitold.

the

available

l c

Coincidences are spooky, and spooky things scare peoo e. In order to explain something spooky we turn to religion, tarot cards, tea leaves, astrology, palm readers, or any one of a massive a-rnv of people in whom we place our trust (andmoneyl, in return for a prediction or assessment of the future. The popularity of such activities is a reflection of the scientist in all of us - what are the men in white coats, if not agents attempting to explain causality and predict the future course of events . 7

Fortunately for the public, politicians are only too pleased to offer the certitude which the scientist refuses to, and in so doing set themselves up for fiascos like the beef crisis. All it takes is one so la ted case to contradict the official line, "there is absolutely NO risk," and the result is blind panic. Risk is perceived out of all proportion to the actual threat. Our perception seems to depend on whether we require somebody else to do the analysis for us (beef) or if we think we have all the information needed to form a correct assessment of risk for ourselves (road crossing). Given the natural tendency for the public to misunderstand science, and the bias for 'me' to believe 'myself more than I believe

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fare's also a display of I'isclili and Weiss' 'handpainJi polutrethaife«Hulpiire.s' which arc designed to replicat residue found %*tbe artists' studio - dirty ashtravs, slvroloam t of fee tups, emptv cans and lightbulbs. i didn't actual!} look at it, nuking the lorgiveable mistake that a nijvd-i-.il room slivwii| with rubbish wasn'i ai luallv meant to lx> vie«nl.

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were not a primary aim, It would seem that times the policy would be mere are hard. Imperial needs our political posturing. I fail to support. Or rather Imperial see why public spending needs it support back, should be lavished on huge namely its supply of" crutchcapital projects when an es. It appears that students alternative exits. Obviously at IC have not only broken the main target of the PFI bones but also the nth comis transport infrastructure, mandment by pinching which lends itself well to these apparati, resulting in a very cross Director private sector involvement. As the article stated, of Clinical Services. Dr Irene Weinreb (the little- there have been teetliing troubles, such as the known sixth Python?) is clearly keen to retrieve expensive and woefully slow tendering process, said equipment by using the ultimate threat of but when this is resolved, companies will be Regulation 2. It strikes me that you should not much more eager to get involved. I also don't have let this situation get so ridiculously out of believe that the ultimate ownership of these concontrol, because if you withhold degrees pending structions is a problem, be it a road, a hospital or, return of crutches, you will not only be the as the article suggested, a lab in College. Quite laughing stock of the British University system, frankly, the Moonies can take over ownership of but also give the tabloid press a field day. As any the third year lab which I was working in until doctor should know, playing with fire invariably recently if it results in an improvement of the results in nasty burns. facilities. I had hoped that I would not need to drone on about the activities of the goodfolkin College Estates this week, but when such blatantly stupid and thoughtless work as the Weeks path is carried out, I am left with no option. My initial reaction was puzzlement as to why the path was essential to provide students with access to the gardens. The north face of the Eiger it is not, and while a path is necessary to prevent the lawn from being worn down in tire long term, the timing of the work leaves much to be desired. Why on earth could it not have been carried out over Easter or during the summer, thus avoiding the disruption to students' revision? I was discussing this very point with one of my envoys in Sherfield a few days ago and was immediately put in the picture. "Can't be done any later," he said, "because there is a big event taking place in the garden on Wednesday, some very important people present." Ala, dear reader, everything is clear. All that flannel about being 'sensitive to exam pressures' is starting to ring a little hollow. What we have here is yet another cock-up by Estates, a department where use of the word 'planning' is a disciplinary offence. Obviously the path is needed if 400 people are to be at the Rector's Town and Gown summer reception, but yet again a total absence of foresight has resulted in work being carried out at the last minute, rather than choosing a time earlier in the year, safely before the exams. And yes, M r Caldwell, "some students may not believe" that you are sensitive to exam pressures. Such understatement deserves a medal. The Private Finance Initiative got the Nooman Haque treatment last week, and very good it was too. I agree that the scheme is not tailor-made for Universities, but then this was not the intention, as a result of the greater freedom that higher education institutions enjoy. Nevertheless, it is a useful option in certain cases. Quite why the notion that "the PFI is largely to reduce the government's public, deficit" is cynical is a mystery to me. Of course the PFI is designed to cut government spending, and if this

College services are probably most suitable for PFI-type deals. Car parking has already been done but the prime target, the ultimate goal, the piece de resistance must be College Catering. British Leyland in the 1970s was a model of management practice in comparison with the fiasco responsible for feeding hungry mouths at Imperial, and also lost less money. However, any such deals must be handled very carefully. Wholesale transfer of Catering to an outside firm would disastrous. What, I hear you cry, is he saying? Is he going soft in his old age, letting his capitalist ideals slip? Rest assured, I'm not cracking up. My concerns can be summarised in two words. Southside Bar. The jewel in the crown of Catering and Imperial as a whole, any attempt to interfere with its operation would inevitably harm it for the simple reason that it can't get much better. In such examples, like local authority tendering, the PFI is intended to kick-start sloppy, unprofitable organisations, descriptions which apply to Southside with the validity of favourable comparisons between Southside Shop and Kwik Save on price grounds. In general, Mike Hansen does seem to talk a lot of sense, which is not something you can say about many senior Sherfieldites. Mind you, let me make a small point on that score. I wouldn't trumpet our common heating system as triumph of cooperation in the Chemistry department. This is the system which has all the fine control of a sledge hammer in neurosurgery, ensuring that the building is about 95째C every day of the year, except for a week or two in early November, when the frost forms on the inside of the windows. Finally, I can confirm that it's safe to consume. Not beef, but the material on 'Saturday Live', ITV's new comedy extravaganza. I know that funny comedy on ITV is as bountiful as free thinking in the Shadow Cabinet, but this time they've managed to pull it off. Harry Hill was brilliant, Alistair McGowan was perfect, that mad Dutch bloke was hilarious and Lee Hurst was so-so. They're onto a winner, folks.

>in

s h

C l i m b "What are flowers for?" asked Juliet's father as they were driving through the country, passing fields hill of poppies. Juliet pondered the question for some time then replied, "To make the world pretty and to help the bees make honey." It was with a tinge of regret that Juliet's father, who happens to be Richard Dawkins, had to tell her that her answer was completely wrong.

Every

M o u n t a i n

pillars which turn into butterflies, symbiotic bacteria which live inside plant cells. Occasionally, Dawkins cannot remember the name of the species he is showing and asks if anybody in the audience knows. Invariably someone does. "All these organisms have evolved for the good of something.", says Dawkins. The question is who or what? What are flowers for? Some of the 19th-century answers to questions like this are hilarious. He mentions a few: the louse - an incentive for personal cleanliness; garden weeds - good for our fitness, cows - to keep our meat fresh!

a very roundabout way. The instmctions contain a fantastically large digression - the elephant!" This is also true for individual parts of an animal. For example the purpose of a peacock's beak is to make more beaks. The beak feeds the peacock so it can survive to reproduce and make more beaks. Similarly, a peacock fan is for picking up peahens and making more nice fans. A flower, as Dawkins will no doubt tell his daughter one day, is like a peacock's fan. Furthermore, the wings of a bee are really the 'wings' of a plant. From the bee's point of view, it doesn't know whether it is acting under its own instructions or the flower's instructions.

Richard Dawkins, the prominent Darwinist and author of 'The Selfish Gene', recendy gave a talk at the Institute of Education in London where he discussed some of the ideas in his new book, Dawkins' solution is more profound. Things 'Climbing Mount Improbable'. Dawkins' books evolve for the good of one thing and one thing are often controversial, and they are particularly unpopular with creationists. His latest book has been described as a "masT h e Banana. A n Atheist's N i g h t m a r e terpiece of clarity and economy". It is a testimony to his continuing interest in . t questions like "How did we get here?" s r and "What is going to happen in the future?"

But how does all this machinery for spreading genes around get there? "It's like a computer vims which has to make its own computer first" says Dawkins. For something to be truly self-spreading, it needs to be able to make the parts, to make the machinery to make a copy of itself. This is the principle of what Dawkins calls a TRIP (total replication , f of instructions program] robot. A n Dawkins comes on stage pushing a n example would be an industrial robot large model of a mountain. The side of e r which could get the raw materials to the mountain that the audience can see make another industrial robot. Dawkins is a near vertical, unassailable rock face. believes that we are all TRIP robots. We "Climbing mount improbable is e originally occurred 4000 million years metaphor for the difficulty in evolving ago with the spontaneous arising of a complicated biological design", explains n hereditary entity. Next came mutation, Dawkins. He discusses the eye, which is r a variant population capable of then often used by creationists as an arguexponential growth. These entities then ment against evolution. "How could prevailed and the best ones began to such a complicated organ have evolved d exercise control over other entities (pher by chance?" they say. Pause for scene notype begins). Gradually there was an shifting... Dawkins turns the model increase in complexity until we became round to reveal a much gentler slope, the TRIP robots we are today. with paths and foothills along the way. Not everyone agrees with Dawkin's ideas about evolution. This Dawkins is often accused of having a He explains that in evolution, the ascent was sent to him by a creationist. bleak, cold view of life. One wonders is only as formidable as the next step. why he bothers to get out of bed in the morning. The eye could have evolved by a series of acci- only - D N A . He uses the example of viruses. His response to this comment is unusual. "We dents - small steps, starting with the develop- What are viruses for? Population control? are all going to die. This makes us the lucky ones ment of a collection of photosensitive cells in a Punishment? No, says Dawkins, viruses are - millions more are never even going to be bom. multicellular organism and eventually leading to coded programs which say "copy me and spread The potential people who could be here instead the multitude of complicated eye designs we see me around". This, he believes, is the closest we of me outnumber the number of atoms in the today. "Evolution is not just chance", says can get to an answer. Biological viruses are very universe." So in the teeth of these stupefying Dawkins. The astronomical improbability of our much like computer viruses or indeed chain letodds we are lucky, because it is you and I that are evolution is the problem that all theories of life ters. If chain letters manage to spread them- here. Incidentally, Dawkins also believes that scimust solve. Darwinian theory 'smears out' this selves around using discriminating humans, the ence is just about the only supportable occupaluck into small steps. Through successive gener- same trick will certainly work for a biological tion there is. "The universe is 60 million cenations, luck gets accumulated, culminating in the virus which is set up to obey instmctions. turies in the past and perhaps another 60 million But what about the elephants and hippos of years in the future... Isn't it a noble way to spend species we observe today. this world? What are their instmctions saying? To our time in the spotlight to try to understand Dawkins then shows a series of Dawkins this is a central question. "The ele- why we are here?" slides: the potter wasp which builds -g phant's D N A is also saying 'duplicate me', but in a pot to incubate its eggs in, caterM

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the vow of silence, makes a confession to a young The Confessional starts with Pierre Lamontagnepriest who is suspected to be the father. A senior civil servant seems to hold the key (Lothaire Bluteau) returning to Quebec in 1989 to attend the funeral of his father, Paul-Emile, to the confession and the truth surrounding who died blind after neglecting his diabetes. He Marc's birth. Past and present fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and reveal meets up with his clues to the audience as adopted brother Marc, they watch a family an illegitimate child who tragedy and a mystery has begun to question unfold. his identity. Together, the brothers embark on The Confessional is a a quest to find out who British, French and Marc's father really is. Canadian co-production-part produced by The film switches David Puttnam. back and forth between Lothaire Bluteau makes modern day and the for an unlikely leading 1950s, often within a man material while single shot which conthere are rare and brief veys the power that the appearances by Kristin past exerts over the preScott Thomas (Four sent. Weddings and a In 1952, Alfred Funeral) as the assistant Hitchcock is shooting / to Alfred Hitchcock. Confess in the parish The film starts slowly church in Quebec City, but proceeds to tell an where Paul-Emile is intriguing tale. The working nights as a taxi Confessional is challengdriver. He and his wile ing viewing and offers Francoise share a house the audience the opportunity to question how with Rachel, Francoises sixteen year-old sister. sacred the word of confession should be. As an Rachel works in the presbytery of the parish film, it is stimulating and thought provoking art church and is pregnant. Filled with shame, she seeks salvation in the confessional and, trusting to without losing its entertaining aspect.

book: excession -

nology superior to that of the Culture triggers the machinations of various groups which form the story. The machine intelligences are the main It is 6.30pm on Wednesday night. Five of us are protagonists here, and this new viewpoint on the sitting at the back of a 300-strong audience in the Culture is particularly welcome, seeing that it is Lyttelton Theatre. Iain (Menzies) Banks has just they who effectively mn the Culture. After about 25 minutes the audience is walked onto the stage, accompanied by Oliver Morton, the U K editor of Wired magazine. asked for questions. The first is a standard Wired ran an interview with Iain in their June "Films?" and the answer is more specific than I issue along with a preview extract from his new have previously heard. The BBC are in the novel Excession, lor which Iain is now doing the process of filming The Crow Road, and the result will be shown in the autumn. His more standard book-signings and talks. Since the new book is a science fiction novel answer follows - that Hollywood can have set in Iain's previously-visited galaxy of the Consider Phlebas, give it a happy ending and Culture, the topic of conversation centres stick Arnie in as the hero - just so long as all those around the general ideas ol the Culture, as great scenes are done!

iain m. banks.™!,K

opposed to the specifics ol a book which few of The other main question is which authors the audience would yet have read. he personally reads. His first answer, describing The Culture is a Utopian "post-scarcity" how as a teenager he would simply look around society of humanoids and machine intelligence. the library for the yellow Victor Gollanz books, Asked whether he would still describe it as 'anar- struck a strong chord. When it came to more chic-communism', he replies, "Only when I'm recent specific books, I was not surprised at his talking to a load of right wing American writers," choice of Dan Simmonds' Hyperion. That has raising one of many laughs. Since it is Utopian, one scene, involving satellites, personal commustories set within typical every-day circum- nicators and a lot of gore which, on reading, I stances would be what Iain disparagingly calls thought, "Iain Banks could have written that!" Hampstead novels'. Hence the novels take Iain has a further four-book deal, two SF place within the Culture's 'Contact section', and two mainstream, which means I have at which interacts with other societies. In least four books to lookforwardto over the next Excession, the appearance of an object of tech- five years.

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DIARY

FELIX

15 june

june g 1,10pm Ents Lounge.

(R)

s Standing Room Only 4.30pm Portugal v Turkey 7.30pm Czech Republic v Italy. Typically Tropical - Beach party to raise funds for the Hockey/ Football Club tour. This will include a raffle for a mountain bike/ travel vouchers/ etc, and top surf sounds to set you up for summer. There'll also be a Cocktail Bar, Chill-out room and BBQ. Beachwear, shorts and shades are this evening's dress code - anyone wearing socks will be severely laughed at! ÂŁ1/ free before 9. e Leaving from the front of Beit Quad, taking lone female students home to anywhere in central London. The first run will be at 12 midnight, and the last run at around 2am. Ask at Beit Security lodge for times in between. (R)

f r i d a y

s Standing Room Only 3pm England v Scotland. 6pm France v Spain. Normal Bar opening hours. Da Vinci's.

S a t u r d a y

To l Tenants...

FRIDAY JUNE 1 4TH 1996

june

s 1.30pm in the Union. Magic: The Gathering, Sealed Deck Tournament. Prizes and the new Alliances expansion cards. s

m o n d a y

Desperate to relive those happy memories of IC Estates' disruptions? Keen to keep photographs of next year's sabbs covered in shaving foam for posterity? Then you need a Felix bound edition... all 32 issues in a handsome leatherette binding, carefully embossed with the name of your choice. Call 58072 for details.

Standing Room Only -

3pm Russia v Germany. 6pm Croatia v Denmark. Da Vinci's.

S u n d a y

to view. If a number of serious complaints accumulate against If you will soon be moving out of any particular landlord then he or private rented accommodation, she will be prevented from you might expect to get your advertising on the lists and deposit back. If your landlord noticeboard. If these landlords go refuses to return it, or makes unreported then this cycle will what you consider to be unrea- simply repeat. sonable deductions, then you The only way to get back should take action to recover it. deposits which have been illegalIf you feel that your landlord ly retained is to sue the landlord has behaved badly in any way, in the small claims court. This is and you obtained your accommo- a lot less complicated and expendation via the Accommodation sive than you may think. Please Office, it is very important that contact the accommodation you lodge a written complaint office or the Union Adviser on with them. These will be held on x48067 if you want to discuss file, available for future students any problems you may have.

l y e

Woody Allen's

Mighty Aphrodite Wednesday 19th at 8pm Thursday 20th at 8pm D o o r s o p e n 15 m i n u t e s b e f o r e t i m e s t a t e d . I C U C i n e m a is n o s m o k i n g b u t d r i n k s f r o m Da Vinci's bar are w e l c o m e . E & O E ; ROAR

FELIX

FRIDAY JUNE 14TH 1 9 9 6

DIARY

friday

June

june

c 12.00pm. Bagrftt Centre, Mech Eng. (R)

i Southside at 5pm. Call Daniel on 0171 228 1740 if you can't make it.

G 8.15pm. Weeks Hall basement. Soup rim for the homeless. (R)

s Standing Room Only 4.30 France v Bulgaria Romania v Spain. 7.30 England v Holland Scotland v Switzerland. Da Vinci's. Because of the football th will be no Bar Trivia this we but there'e a rollover next we ek, t u e s d a y

s Standing Room Only 4.30pm Croatia v Portugal or Turkey v Denmark. 7.30 Italy v Germany or Russia v Czech Republic. Da Vinci's. 9-12. Frolik! The last restrained dose of mid-week excitement. From next week (June 26th) the bar will be open 'til midnight. Hurrah! W e d n e s d a y

t A new type of sponsorship, offering time in the States and sponsorship by business and industry, has been developed as part of the US-UK Fulbright Programme. Awards are offered for postgraduate study in the US and can be linked to periods of attachment to the sponsoring companies.

21 june

c lpm Southside.

g 1.10pm Ents Lounge.

C Spring Ball. 7.30pm in the JCR. Cost £5, black tie. contact Sam Baker, email s.baker2@ic.ac.uk.

(R)

s The penultimate Friday of term and it's going to be huge! Plenty of summer choons to get you in the mood for next week's carnival, with Sex on the Beach, bringing you the phattest beats. Plus a Cocktail Bar and lam bar. £1/ free before 9, but get there early!

9pm Union bar. E-mail gaysoc@ic.ac.uk.

(R)

s No football! Pretend the Quad is a Caribbean beach and indulge yourself at Da Vinci's Cocktail night. t h u r s d a y

f r i d a y

final diary deadline: noon, June 19th

You need at least a 2:i, as well as evidence of leadership potential. The closing date for 1997-98 awards is 25th October 1996. Details can be obtained from the Careers office, or U S - U K Fulbright Commission, 62 Doughty Street W C 1 N 2LS.

mm YOU Y N T N •

LAM0T PILS {ctdtiU ttodU

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l £L05 ^

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IHE

UNION IfIR

DIARY

FELIX

June

s Standing Room Only 3pm First quarter final (Group B runners-up v Group A winners) 6.30pm Second quarter final (Group B winners v Gp A runners-up). DaVinci's.

s Standing Room Only 3pm Third quarter final. (Group C winners v Group D runnersup) 6.30pm Fourth quarter final (Group D winners v Group C runners- up). Da Vinci's.

S a t u r d a y

s u n d a y

Union

Jobshop Although ICU has been unable to gain funding for a full-scale employment service, we will be proceeding with a scaled-down version for now. Vacancies within the Union, College and the surrounding area will be advertised on a noticeboard outside the Union Office. We will be focussing on part-time and holiday vacancies, and if anyone knows of any vacancies that our students could fill, please contact Michelle in the Union Office, extension 48060.

s s Drivers are needed for the Friday night minibus service for next year (Oct '96 - Jun '97), especially female drivers. Good rate of pay due to the late hours. Contact: Anne Ovens, Union Women's Officer, e-mail: a.ovens@ic.ac.uk or give details at the Union Office reception.

IMPhRIAI.CUl.LtGE UNION BOOKSTORE

E NO

FOR ALL PURCHASES OF TEXT BOOKS, FICTION, STATIONERY, REGALIA, CARDS ETC

S Y R k

June

June m o n d a y

Visas As reported in the Advice Centre Newsletter, the Home Office had introduced compulsory application forms for anyone wishing to extend or vary their leave to remain from June 3rd. On June 5th, faced with legal action to judicially review their use (following concerns about the the new system) they decided to withdraw them. For the time being, the original process can be followed but the Home Office intend to reissue improved compulsory forms soon, so if you need to extend your visa over the summer and plan to do so by post, please ensure that you are following the correct procedure. If you need more inforamtion or advice on the subject, Martin Thomson, the Union advisor, can be contacted via the ICU office or by calling extension 48067.

#cu

FRIDAY JUNE 1 4TH 1 9 9 6 .

s Bar Trivia - end of term total trivia spectacular] The first prize is £75: that's 15 Carnival tickets or about 60 pints! (or a couple of top text books off next year's reading list) and £25 for the runners up - you'd be mad to miss money this easy] What agreat start to the hols] c f 2.00pm. Meeting. Centre, Mech Eng.

Bagritt (R)

t u e s d a y

In true Carol Vorderman style, are supplying a very special range the countdown has begun for the of cocktails, plus freebies. biggest, sunniest Carnival of the If you venture to the 2nd year. Yes, we're only a fortnight floor you'll find out where the away from the Summer Carnival serious noise is being made. In and it's going to be a monster] the gym you'll find the famous As you come in you'll be Channel One Reggae Sound treated to a free glass of Archers System. In the Concert Hall the and lemonade, serenaded by a PoodleChaos crew will be giving string quartet from the My Life it loads of hardhouse and techno Story Orchestra, entertained by with live sounds from James uni-cycling fire jugglers and faced Hockley. The room will be fully with the Barbecue - before decked out with the return of you've even entered the building! the seven-colour laser, and for On the ground floor Da the un-superstitious of you Vinci's and the Union Bar are there'll even be a tarot reader. open until 2am and the Ents To make it all a bit special, Lounge will be buzzing with the whole building will be decopoppy sounds from the Pop rated by PropArt in a summer Tarts. Live music is supplied by stylee with drapes and fluoresSucculent and the excellent cent bees and butterflies Showgirls who make lots of throughout the building] Sleeper-type noises and make All of this is just £5, or £4 Pulp look like shy retiring types. with an entscard, tickets are sellDon't forget that this is your very ing fast already from the Union last chance to 'enjoy' the, er, Office & DaVinci's, so get yours 'unique ambience' of the Ents now] Tickets sold out 2 days in Lounge as it is. advance last year, so don't leave The Union Dining Hall will it too late. be the coolest (literally) place to The Ents news and listings hang out with top chill-out are now available at sounds washing over you, and http://www.su.ic.ac.uk/Ents/ those very nice Malibu people ents.html.

FELIX

FRIDAY JUNE 14TH 1 9 9 6

LETTERS AND ELIMINATION

Elimination by Clansman a. Put down a rug?

k. Unhappy garden

b. Two with bell

1. Two authors

c. Maori weapon tree?

m Loveable plant!

d. Two making sentry

n. Two synonyms

e. Light covering?

0. Majestic instrument

f. Two homonyms

p. Two with top

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

Cow Mat Out Pan Ball Down Felt Fish Lamp Left Look Neat Pike Wolf

Wood Yard Grand Grave Knife Lance Notch Piano Place Right Sauce Shade Vocal Write

15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28.

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g. Animal sound?

q. G u n pellet?

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h. Two anagrams

r. Two fish

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i. Aquatic implement!

s. Spoken notes?

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VACANCY

ASSISTANT TUES J U N E

25TH

GARDEN AND WEEKS HALLS A p p l i c a t i o n s are invited for the position o f Assistant W a r d e n at Garden and W e e k s H a l l s , w h i c h is available from October 1996. W e e k s and Garden halls are run jointly, with the Warden resident in W e e k s H a l l , and the Assistant Warden resident in Garden H a l l . There is in addition a Subwarden in each o f the H a l l s . The Assistant Warden w i l l be responsible for assisting w i t h the pastoral care, welfare, discipline and administration in Garden and W e e k s Halls and he/she w i l l be expected to reside in rent-free accommodation within Garden H a l l . A p p l i c a t i o n forms and an information pack can be obtained from the Establishment

Office,

Personnel

Division, Room

513, Sherfield

B u i l d i n g , T e l . Ext. 45533 o r 45532. A n y non-undergraduate

o f the

College may apply, but experience o f pastoral care o f students w o u l d be an advantage. C l o s i n g date for receipt o f completed Wednesday 26th June

£75 FIRST PRIZE £25 2ND PRIZE O e

applications:

ST/i

1996.

STA TRAVEL SUPPORTED

EDITORIAL

FELIX

Letters to Felix

Dear Felix, As a resident in Weeks Hall disturbed by the noise last week I noted with interest that Ian Caldwell and indeed the editor herself were surprised that we did not complain first to our warden about the racket. It should be noted that "our" warden seems to have more interest in staying on the right side of the "powers that be" than student welfare; his supreme indifference to Hall residents is well known.

FOUNDED PRODUCED FOR A N D

PRINTED BY T H E BEIT Q U A D

EDITOR:

1062:

u odncsday. high noon letters deadline

articles d e a d l ine f e a t u r es

meeting

MANAGER:

tuesday night

mon & wed 6pm

UNIT 7

2BB

8072 S

DECOCK

1996.

ill-feeling

Ghassan Karian. This man may have two important sounding Oh, and I was doing so well too. jobs. He may be the chief Optimism, positive thinking, General Election Campaigns constructive thought... Well, cer- Coordinator for West London tainly a spot less cynicism, which for the Labour Party. He may be is pretty good going for me. But the figurehead of the largest stunot any more. dent body in the country. But he Firstly I'm really disappoint- clearly has difficulty filling his ed about the Rector's Town and time. Alex Feakes phoned up Gown summer reception. I had Kate Hampton (the LSE been completely charmed by Ian President) to ask about their anti Caldwell's story: he was really no-confidence motion (or somesorry about disturbing the Weeks thing like that). A couple of students, but hey, we had their hours later, and all hell had brobest interests at heart, we ken loose: Kate had told Ghassan thought they'd like somewhere who called Sarah who passed the quiet and peaceful outside to call on to me to say that she said revise in. Somewhere peaceful to that he said that she said that he revise in, my foot. 400 members said that you're going to write a of the Knightsbridge Association nasty article about me. Well I certainly will now, mate. It is my for tea, that's what. Besides, I wasn't invited. It's considered opinion that the utterly unreasonable: there you University of London Union is an are, elected for position to the utter waste of time. A great 1995-96 IC students' union sab- venue, yes, a centre for student batical team, all getting abuse advice/welfare/travel certainly, from the drunk medics together. but as a body of student opinion Where are we now? Sarah White it is made entirely irrelevant by gets to go to the Rector's Town the autonomy of its constituent and Gown summer reception, colleges. and I get to spend all night staOr, to put it another way, I pling whilst getting hate mail am a little concerned that the from disgruntled Security Student Union Presidents of Guards. LSE, Imperial and the University of London (amongst others) have nothing better to do than decide whether they have confidence in each other.

rning

news m e e t i n g s

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tuesday noon

TUV W

year's Felix hits the

EDITORIAL T E A M : : ALEX FEAKES

SUB-EDITING A N D

meeting

?@ :

M U S I C : VIK

BANSAL

FEATURES: M A R K P R O O F I N G : TIM

CINEMA:

PHOTOGRAPHY:

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NO PQRS

JULIETTE

And while we're on the the subject of Student Union Presidents, I am entirely sick of the political machinations of

collating

ll!

594

:;<=>

' • ' : ,

LONDON

ISSN 1 0 4 0 - 0 7 1 1

tick up your free copy at: felix, union entrance jcr,

UNION

THOMPSON

C O P Y R I G H T FELIX

reviewers'

RACHEL

PRINTER: A N D Y BUSINESS

UNION

ROAD

TELEPHONE/FAX 0171

IMPERIAL C O L L E G E BOARD

IMPERIAL C O L L E G E

(name withheld by request)

clubs & s o c i e t i e s

BEHALF O F

PRINCE C O N S O R T

Weeks Hall Resident

1949

PUBLICATIONS

i ,' ,. AABBCD E BF (is

In short, those complaining did not speak to the warden since they felt their complaints would be greeted with "blank wall" diplomacy or the usual derisory arrogance. How can we go through the proper channels when those channels are not open to us?

b l a n k walls

FRIDAY JUNE 1 4TH 1996

PUZZLES:

CATFISH

KATIE H O P K I N S & IVAN

CLUBS A N D

SOCS:

yE'iVq (z"Erf'

C O L L A T I N G LAST

SCIENCE:

M XX^

: TIM,

LEE

CHAN

ARTS: JEREMY

BAKER

ST CLAIR

BEN

STEPHEN

YZ[\Z]

DAN,

HAMILTON S

ROBIN

n Cocktail % eif-eiii room, B-B-Q !

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a mouihaln bike, Trauel vouchers

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P r o f its to H o c k e y / F o o t b a l l Tour F u n d