/1984_0664_A

NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION ESTATES CRUMPLED IN IRONS FIASCO As construction of a central launderette facility open to all I C students progresses, it was revealed that no ironing facilities have been included in the plans. The launderette, in the basement of Southside, is part of phase 1 of a scheme for the complete conversion of the area into student facilities. In addition phase 1 includes a gym and changing facilities which are also under construction. The preparation of a weights training room in the Southside basement has also recently been completed.

Work began on 7 November Halls. last year and the completion date The gym, primarily intended is 5 March. However the contract for martial arts, etc, rather than is running 2 to 3 weeks behind ball games, is to be formed from schedule, according to M r John part of the old refectory room on Lauwerys, College Senior Assisthe ground floor (above the tant Secretary. It is hoped that present refectory). Eventually it the time can be made up to enable is envisaged that other facilities work to finish not more than a here will include a squash court week behind schedule. and table tennis room with men's and women's changing rooms The launderette will have ten and a sauna. automatic washing machines and four tumble dryers, and will be The f i n a l stages of the situated in the former women's conversion plan are still some toilets opposite the entrance to way in the future, but they the refectory in the basement. include a concert hall, billiards There will not be any ironing room, and Union offices, as well facilities however. It is envisaged as the sports facilities mentioned that laundries in the individual earlier. The provision of such Southside Halls will be converted facilities, d u p l i c a t i n g those to much needed extra kitchens, already in existence, will release but that present ironing/drying parts of the Union Building for rooms will remain unchanged. other uses. Quite what other uses There will be no ironing facilities the College has in mind are still for students not resident in the unclear.

S T O P

Wants You!

PRESS!

Anti-porn campaigner Michael Newman has taken his crusade outside College, it was revealed this week. M r Newman has written to 17 national newspapers giving details of events organised by R S M U such as H o n Pornographers' Night and Mines Revue.

Already he has been interviewed by a reporter from the News of the World and yesterday afternoon at 3:00pm the Sunday Express contacted him to arrange an interview. It is not yet known whether either paper will actually publish the story.

Both papers were attempting to contact R S M U officials yesterday, but apparently without success. However, F E L I X contacted Mines Vice President T i m Williams for his reaction. He expressed amusement at M r Newman's antics and was not worried about R S M U ' s activities being sensationalised in the gutter press. Mines Union's position was, he believed, entirely defensible.

College Secretary John Smith was not aware of the developments when F E L I X contacted him at 5:00pm yesterday. He commented that anyone who read the News of the World was 'halfway to reading pornography anyway'. He didn't feel that the situation regarding pornographic events at IC was unusually bad.

No 664

Darth Vader

HBBBBWHHHBBBBBBBBBnHHH

L o r d D a r t h V a d e r , the most evil m a n in the entire u n i v e r s e will b e t a k i n g t i m e off f r o m the D e a t h S t a r a n d paying a visit to Imperial C o l l e g e next week.

D a v i d Prowse, w h o played the ultimate b a d guy in the S t a r W a r s T r i l o g y will b e s p e a k i n g at the R C S a n n u a l d i n n e r w h i c h will be h e l d at the L o n d o n International Hotel next Friday.

FELIX, January 27, 1984 I

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Dear Pallab O n reading last week's F E L I X , I was very displeased with the news item, entitled T C U Slams U G C ' . The first three paragraphs I suppose you could call news. However the last paragraph was written in totally a different vain.

Here your News Editor (J Martin Taylor) seems to have compiled his own little editorial so for those people who have read this section, I would like to put the matter straight. ; Where J Martin says 'it is widely believed that the Union's " comments will not be taken too s e r i o u s l y , ' does he not mean—that he does not believe, as he was the only person who read and was therefore able to comment on the report.

He then concluded by saying 'in the opinion of a number of people who have read her report'. That is a number of people, meaning one person— himself.

I will therefore ask your News Editor to refrain from deliberate exaggeration and to put only news into news articles, not his own personal opinion, and, then claim that it was also the opinion of many others.

Yours sincerely Sean Davis IC Union Hon Sec PS: H o w wide is J Martin Taylor?

A

H a p p y

M a n

Dear Gaynor At last I am a happy man.

Words can scarcely express the I delight that 1 felt on finding that the baked beans in the Union • Refectory were at last hot on Monday.

Each fork-full of the perfectly formed beans (in a steaming hot tomato sauce) cleaved to my palate rendering me speechless with delight.

M a y I C join N U S , may the i U n i o n move to Southside, may the tiles fall off Elec Eng, may the B o t / Z o o tea room close tomorrow; but please, oh please may the baked beans never be cold again. i ; A h , what a wonderful thing it is to have one's whims catered to by so great a caterer as M r Mooney.

Dave Rowe s

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Dep Rep Elections

WIST Survey Dear Pallab A group of women at College are carrying out research for a paper to be presented at the 1984 S R H E (Society for Research into Higher Education) conference. The paper will be concerned with women presently studying for a science and engineering degree, and women who decided to leave college mid-course. We have had a good response to the questionnaire sent out before Christmas, and would like to ask all those women who have not yet c o m p l e t e d t h e i r questionnaires to please do so as soon as possible. This will enable us to compile a paper including all of the wide ranging views of women in College—the project being especially i m p o r t a n t since 1984 is ' W o m e n into Science and Engineering' (WISE) year, and the various committees are involved are very eager to see r e s e a r c h o n this subject published in their effort to encourage more women to take up s c i e n t i f i c / e n g i n e e r i n g subjects at all levels.

Thanks for message on.

passing

the

Yours Susan Watts

T h e

G r u m p y G u y

Dear Sir You recently telephoned me for information about our C o m mon Room in the Beit Quadrangle. I gave it to you but did so reluctantly in light of your distorted reporting of earlier related events.

In future if you want information from me about the Department will you please ask for it in writing. I shall then do my best to oblige you if your request is reasonable. I shall do so in writing and as quickly as circumstances permit.

Professor RK S Wood

Dear Pallab Y o u mentioned in your editorial last week, the hack elections. However you ommitted to mention the impending dep rep elections (papers up Tues 24).

It is time for ordinary students in the College to wake up a n d realise what is happening around them.

Education cuts mean that changes will have to be made.

Unless students know what is going on, then they will suffer.

The job of a dep rep should not be taken on by a final year student who suddenly finds him/herself with nothing on his/her C V . Neither should it be used just as a step towards hack (or C C U ) heirarchy.

Dep Reps need to care for their students, their department, their Union and their College. A good Dep Rep does not have a quiet life.

D e d i c a t e d people, y o u r students need you.

Yours G Thorpe Met & Mat Sci Dep Rep

Editorial Control Dear Pallab As a supplement to the typing course on which you were apparently sent (the upshot of which I shall refrain from making comment on here!), may I suggest that you attend a course in the art of text editing; an art in which—judging by the way you pejoratively and clumsily edited a letter of mine (printed in the F E L I X of 20 January)—your abilities as FELIX Editor appear somewhat dubious and incompetent!

I refer of course to the way in which you unceremoniuosly cut short the letter half way through a paragraph, without Philip A Green

Friday, January 27, 1984

Fly the Flag

I

Dear Pallab This letter is one of many I hope to be sending over the next few weeks to inform people inside and outside College of our Union selling porn.

I remember the feeling of frustration and anger I felt at the beginning of my first year when I wrote a highly emotional letter to F E L I X and a number of outside organisations c o m p l a i n i n g about pornography in our College.

Chris Crownshaw criticised me then for washing 'dirty linen' in public. Over a year has past, we have had four opportunities to wash that 'dirty linen' yet as a result of the Mines' campaign and our own apathy we have not done so. The pornographic events continue.

There are many ignorant people in this College, there are many who do not care to think about reality and choose to live in their private little worlds away from nuclear weapons, degradation, poverty, inhumanity and war. T h e i r attitude towards the pornographic industry in this College is a symptom. R S M U in its actions at U G M s and elsewhere has s t a u n c h l y defended prejudice, ignorance and n a i v i t y . The 'Save M i n e s Campaign' was one to defend them if from anything from the real world, the world of suffering that they wish to forget and wash their hands of.

The letters and the motion at the U G M are not an attempt to wash our 'dirty linen' in public.

I believe it is up to us to choose what kind of Union we have, but once we have chosen, and the opportunity has been given to us three times this year, then we must be willing to show people what we are like. We should all be proud of our College and U n i o n . Chris Crownshaw should be proud of the R S M U and therefore only too pleased that I am telling people about it. I hope all of you reading this are proud of our College, I hope you will thank me for spreading its good name, indeed your good name.

A n d i f you are not ask yourselves why?

I am not washing our "dirty linen' in public I am simply flying our Union's flag.

Yours sincerely Michael Newman FELIX

Get off Your Arses and Complain The Refectory Suggestions and C o m p l a i n t s C o m m i t t e e has issued a plea for more cornplaints. The work of the committee is being limited by students eating in the refectories, according to chairman Gaynor Lewis.

Each of the College's four student refectories has a box on the wall to collect the written comments of customers. A l l submissions made in this way are considered by the committee, which consists of student and staff reps along with M r Victor Mooney, Refectory Manager.

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the Union managing its own outlet. Early replies suggest that whilst IC's refectories are some of the worst in terms of food quality, M r Mooney's financial performance is rather better than most from the College's point of view, in that he is able to make a slight overall profit.

The reply from the Bedford College Union President, Miss Delyth Morgan, was less than helpful, however. She returned the questionnaire, refusing to complete it because the covering letter from M r Southey began 'Dear Sir'.

Star

In an entertaining lecture given to Wellsoc members on Monday, Professor Geoff New of the physics department convinced his audience that laser and particle weapons in space are impractical as a solution to the arms race. Even if it were possible to build a suitable laser, simple calculations show that to satisfy its fuel requirements would take a space shuttle trip per day for many years. A single battle station in a geostationary orbit would not be effective because of beam divergence, and therefore about 150 stations in lower orbits

P r o m o t i o n s

P i s s

U p !

However the boxes, which arc easily mistaken for larj/c nesting boxes, have in recent years lost their labelling and the convenient paper and pencil which used to be provided. This has resulted in the committee's supply of complains all but drying up.

Considering the usual quality of food served in the refectories, it seems that there should be plenty to compain about. So F E L I X issues an appeal to all refectory customers—start cornplaining now and let's see the suggestions boxes filled to capacity!

Mooney Tops O n Prices A questionnaire has been sent out

by U n i o n Internal Services Chairman Hugh Southey to other colleges around the country to find out how their refectories are managed. The sample was chosen to give colleges with a mixture of student union and college run refectories with some outlets r u n by outside contractors.

Replies to the questionnaire are now being returned and are to be used by the U n i o n in s u g g e s t i n g to the C o l l e g e improvements in the running of refectories, or even as a basis for

B a r

Wars

would be required. The system could never be tested before use, and even an unlikely 95% success rate in shooting down missiles would still allow hundreds to get through. Countermeasures are very cheap and easy to think of.

The deployment of laser weapons would in itself be a very provocative and destabilising act.

Superpower interest in 'spacewars' research is driven not only by military aspirations but by economic, political and prestige considerations, according to Professor New.

I C U Deputy President, Christine Teller, has succeeded in persuading the Bar Committee to hold a one week bar promotion. F r o m 26 February to 3 March most beers in College bars will have their prices cut to 50p. The only exceptions to this w i l l be Guinness, which will be sold at 60p, and the Guest Ales, which will remain at normal prices.

Although Bar Committee is still to finalise details, it is planned that in addition to the cheap beer other special events will be organised. This may include free food and free enter-

tainment.

The only thing that seems unlikely to be changed is the price of spirits. This is because reducing the price of beer is seen as the most effective way of boosting bar trade.

Normally this period of the year is a particularly poor one for bars. This is because spring term grants are beginning to run out and academic work is beginning to build up. However this week is likely to be one of the busiest ever as it coincides with Carnival, I C U and C C U elections and several other major events.

Flash in the Pan A chip pan fire has left a flat in the College's Lexham Gardens head tenancy with an unusuable kitchen. The fire, on Tuesday evening, started when a resident of the flat put the chip pan on the cooker and forgot about it.

Returning later to the kitchen he found the room full o f dense black smoke and burning oil all over the cooker.

The fire brigade were called and soon four fire engines were on the scene.

The fire was quickly extinguished, leaving the residents to clear up the smokeblackened room. There is considerable damage to the cooker and other electrics, and the walls and contents o f the kitchen were completely coated with a black residue.

The residents later enjoyed their meal which had been cooking in the oven, without chips.

\Friday, January 27, 19841

When asked if the food was well done they said it was still a little undercooked. One resident was reported to have said 'It's salads for us from now'.

OBITUARY It is with regret that the Union learned of the death on 10 January of Miss Phyllis Trimmer, Manageress of the Union Refectory for several years.

ICU has given a donation to Friends of St Thomas Hospital in lieu of flowers in accordance with Miss Trimmer's wishes.

•Page 3 i

Let's

Get

Physical

U G M

Sketch

It's been a hard week for this over-worked tfnfortunate, sketch writer. He had hoped for a quick Publications Board meeting on Monday evening (so he could race up to the West E n d and drool over Natassia K i n s k i in her latest film) and a longish Union General Meeting to provide the usual quota of funnies for his customary amusing (?-Ed) sketch.

However it was not to be. Pub Board lasted over two hours— primarily due to S T O I C being represented by the two biggest tits in College—and the U G M for a mere three minutes (that's right—180 seconds) because the third biggest tit in College called q u o r u m when the meeting refused to let him have his way.

He had wanted the clearly giquorate meeting to discuss the motions first as he feared someone would call quorum if the order of business was not changed to hear the officers reports after the motions. He was defeated and called quorum

that, realistic as they are, the words pimp and dildo have never been mentioned on these programmes. O n Tuesday however the former was used to describe all Union members in a motion tabled for the meeting and the latter was the generic name once applied to R S M U 2nd X I by midfield U G M Chairman Passmore as they fell to a not uncommon defeat to one of the better College teams.

Someone then asked (at the U G M , not Grange Hill) if the proposers of the motion could be sued for defamation but he received little sympathy from the chair who suggested that it was a mtter for the small claims court.

Other Awards Presented at the Meeting Sean Davies External Affairs Officer Peter Union Officer of the Year FELIX Burt will now make his customBoy George Award for Services to ary appearance (sic) in this Tabloid Journalism FIDO column by virtue of winning the The Kensington & Chelsea Times Award hastily arranged Quote of the for Services to Disposability STOIC Meeting Award. His little gem was The Cecil Parkinson Productivity Bonus J Martin Taylor 'as you may have heard from The John 'no one can understand a FELIX News Editor reading the papers' (geddit?). single world I say' Cole Award for Runner-up was Pressie Gaynor News Reporting Gaynor Lewis Lewis reading a moving poem on The Booke Shields Coconut for Outstanding the baked bean situation in the Achievement ; i She Wearing of Very Tight Jeans jointly to Peter Burt Union Refectory by Pub Board The Annie L MM Haircut of the Year Chairman Dave Rowe. It was a (EAO) and Jules Reynolds (Soc Sec successful week for M r Rowe who had earlier received the The (Rayleigh Hse) Agatha Christie This Meeting Will jointly to Kenny Footballer of th; Year Dalglish and myself Run and Run Award for his Felix UGM Sketch performance at the previously The FELIX UGM Sketch Award for mentioned marathon meeting.

Services to Incestuous Journalism

himself; m e a n i n g that, by anyone's logic, he was afraid of himself, w h i c h suggests he deserves our sympathy rather than our contempt. Tough luck sucker, and I know not who they are, you're getting no sympathy here.

The meeting then continued informally with a general discussion which proved reasonably fruitful, but not enough to overcome the basic problem of writing 650 words on three minutes. This has been done before; actually someone once wrote a book called The First

Three Minutes, but he was subsequently awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics and this physicist is of slightly lower calibre. Nevertheless Physics did provide the only highlight of the day when a lecturer finished a full T E N M I N U T E S E A R L Y giving time to hurry home and watch Grange Hill and Tucker's luck.

A n d now that we've touched on the subject of education, why can't College be more like these programmes?—the only similarity seeins the presence of a closely-cropped v i l l i a n called Passmore in both. Note however

• D e f y i n g gravity is all i n a d a y s w o r k for b u s y R e f e c t o r y M a n a g e r , V i c t o r M o o n e y . H o w e v e r e v e n he finds time to play F E L I X B i n g o . T h i s is b e c a u s e he k n o w s it has to be the biggest B i n g o b o n a n z a i n S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n .

• M a k e sure that y o u follow M r M o o n e y ' s e x a m p l e a n d play F E L I X B i n g o .

• A l l y o u have to d o is c h e c k off the n u m b e r s p r i n t e d every week o n your U L U card.

• W h e n y o u have finally got a full h o u s e call into the F E L I X Office a n d c l a i m y o u r p r i z e .

• A m o r e detailed v e r s i o n of these rules was p r i n t e d last week.

• F o r the l u c k w i n n e r t h e r e ' s a h o l i d y for t w o i n Amsterdam.

• Y o u ' l l be able to visit the fabulous R i j k s m u s e u m , the t r e n d y b o u t i q u e s a n d all the m a n y other a t t ra c t i ons of H o l l a n d c o u r t e s y of U L U T r a v e l / S T A .

• A c c o m m o d a t i o n is in the c e n t r a l l y p l a c e d C o k H o t e l .

T r a v e l is b y ferry.

• O n e final point, V i c t o r M o o n e y is not the p r i z e .

Prizes I Page 41

U L U

d cm a t e d T r a im\

1

by

S T A Mr Mooney holding this weeks number, nine.

WFriday, January 27, 1984

I FELIX

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Leg atio n concerning housing benefits was revised last year, and students can now claim rebates from the rent and rates they pay both in term time and during the Christmas and Easter vacations instead of supplementary benefit. The undergraduate grant currently provides you with an income of £59.29 per week during term time, of which £19.45 is paid to cover accommodation costs.

D u r i n g the Christmas/Easter vacations the grant drops in value to £24.55 per week, with no provision for accommodation charges. In theory, therefore, you should be able to claim some kind of rebate if you spend more than the term time allowance on housing or if you pay rent over the v a c a t i o n .

Postgraduate grants are paid on a 52 week basis, and unfortunately they cannot claim back vacation rents.

There are now two systems of rent and rates rebate.

Certified Housing Benefit Few students are likely to be eligible for certified housing benefit, as payment is authorised by the D H S S to refund the housing costs of those receiving supplementary benefit. If you are claiming supplementary unemployment benefit and you need to claim housing benefit you should tell the unemployment/ supplementary benefit office dealing with your claims. Y o u will eventually receive forms to be returned to your local housing authority, who are the body which deals with this part of your application. If they are satisfied that you are eligible, they will pay you your entitlement. If you can get certified housing benefit it is well worth having, as it can provide a 100% rebate of your housing costs, as treated by Town Halls.

Details of the housing benefits s c h e m e have b e e n extensively c o v e r e d b y student services last term. Hopefully most of y o u are aware of y o u r entitlements a n d are already claiming them. T h i s week Peter B u r t goes over the m a i n points a n d a t t e m p t s to clear up any c o n f u s i o n there m a y still be.

How to apply for standard housing benefit You will need to fill in the relevant form which can be collected from your Town Hall (or Student Services if you live locally). This should be filled in and returned to your Housing Authority as soon as possible, as you will only be paid from the date they receive your application. They will require evidence of your financial and residential status, so you will need to show them your Notification of Award, most recent bank statement, building society savings books, etc and either your rent book or a letter from your landlord (Student Services if you live in College

run for both term time and vacation periods. Your borogh may ask you to reapply over the vacation even if they do not, you should write to then: at the end of term reminding them that your income from your grant has dropped to £24.55 per week during the holiday period and asking them to reassess your claim.

You will probably have a long wait before you actually get any money, so it may pay you to keep in touch with your housing benefit office. It is generally best to communicate with them via post to be sure that the appropriate staff actually deal with your problem.

Supplementary Benefit and Unemployment Benefit Students are entitled to these benefits during term time as they are usually dependent on the claimant's availability for work.

However, a few students may be

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should be further processed for possible entitlement to Supplementary Benefit.

Supplementary Benefit is paid on the baiss of low income and availability for work, and if you receive a grant you will be very u n l i k e l y to q u a l i f y f o r supplementary benefit during the academic year. However, L E A grants only cover 38 weeks of the year excluding the summer vacation, so if you do not have a holiday job but are nevertheless available for work you should apply for supplementary benefit over the summer.

How to claim Supplementary and Unemployment Benefit.

On the first week day of the vacation go down to your local unemployment benefit office (address in phone book) and sign on. Y o u will need to know .your National Insurance number and may require proof of identity.

Be prepared to hang around for a long time! Y o u should be given an attendance card, a copy of form B l and other forms appertaining to your status as a s t u d e n t . These s h o u l d be completed and returned. Y o u may also be asked to attend an interview, to which you should take details of rent paid/financial situation etc.

You will probably have to sign on on a weekly or fortnightly basis at your local office to confirm that you are still

Standard Housing Benefit You do not have to be claiming supplementary benefit to receive standard housing benefit, and students can therefore apply for it. Students in private rented accommodation or College flats may get a rebate of anything between about £1 and £3 per week or more, although students living in Halls of Residence are unlikely to get much money back due to the way their Hall bill breaks down.

FELIXl

property). Y o u will also need proof of the dates of your terms at College, and the address of the nearest post office at which you can cash your giro-cheques if/when they arrive.

Y o u can claim Standard Housing Benefit both in term time and over the vacation.

However, when you submit your claim you should make very clear that you wish your application to

e l i g i b l e for u n e m p l o y m e n t benefit during the vacations. If you have paid Class 1 National Insurance c o n t r i b u t i o n s on earnings of £1350 in the 1981/2 tax year or of £1475 in the 1982/3 tax year when you can apply, and should receive £27.05 benefit per week. Y o u may also be entitled to housing benefit.

If you are not eligible for unemployment benefit your case

Friday, January 27, 19841

available for work.

You should note that when an unmarried couple live together as husband and wife, they are considered as married by the D H S S . Unless you can prove that you live totally independently, the woman will be treated as a dependent of the man, with the next rsult that the man has to claim for the woman and the couple receive less benefit.

Page 5

T h e B e s t of An Underwater

Student Travel

British

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Audiovisual

R o a d

Spectacular in Panavision presented by MIKE VALENTINE at The Great Hall Imperial College

The beat range of services under one roof anywhere O Bargain European Flights • Low Cost Flights to: O Transalplno Train Services O Asia O South America O Coaches to Europe O Crosschannel Hovercrafts O Africa O Brftrail Cards O The Middle East O Australia O International Cards O North America O Travel Insurance O National Bus Services • Low Cost Accommodation: O Irish Travelsave Stamps O Europe O Asia O North America

fin Saturday 4 February 1984 Tickets available from the Union Office £2.50 Bar from 7pm

74 O L D B R O M P T O N R O A D , SOUTH KENSINGTON S W 7

Show at 7:30pm

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Friday, January 27, 1984

WaE^-w^TpT^wgq FELIX

F e a t u r e

About IC Radio

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R a d i o is n o w b e t t e r t h a n e v e r b e f o r e . A d j u s t m e n t s t o the transmitter have i m p r o v e d coverage a n d s o u n d quality o n broadcasts to Southside and Linstead. Three new turntables provide a professional standd a r d of r e c o r d r e p r o d u c t i o n . A n d e n t h u s i a s m b o t h at the s t a t i o n a n d w i t h the listeners is so high that b r o a d c a s t s go o n until one i n the m o r n i n g a n d all d a y S u n d a y . W h y don't other L o n d o n colleges have radio stations like ours? R e a d on.

IC Radio and the Pirates

It is i n t e r e s t i n g t o n o t e the effect t h a t R a d i o C a r o l i n e has h a d o n s t u d e n t r a d i o .

W h e n I C R a d i o w a s set up, R a d i o C a r o l i n e FELIX I

IC Radio were not allowed by the Home Office to use the induction loop aerial system employed at most other student stations. The problem was that I C is in the centre of London and signals would be able to be picked up off campus. In 1976 IC Radio adopted a 'leaky feeder' aerial system which complied with H o m e Office regulations. B y December that year, College allocated a further £1,500 towards the setting ] up costs of the IC Radio studios and the installation of new lines.

This meant that they could broadcast live from their studios | which had previously not been possible. O n the second of December, 1978, medium wave broadcasts began. r

A n y o n e h o p i n g to set u p a r a d i o s t a t i o n m u s t c o m p l y w i t h H o m e Office r e g u l a t i o n s . T h e H o m e Office rules for college stations confine t h e m to t r a n s m i t t i n g o n m e d i u m w a v e a n d forbid t h e m to b r o a d c a s t o v e r c a m p u s b o u n d a r i e s . T h i s is easy to d o i n the c a s e of a c a m p u s u n i v e r s i t y . A c a b l e t a k e s the signal f r o m the t r a n s m i t t e r to the a e r i a l, w h i c h is i n the c e n t r e of the c a m p u s . T h e signal s t r e n g t h is adjusted s o that t h e r e is negligible r e c e p t i o n at the b o u n d a r y . A n d that's it.

In the case of a n u r b a n r a d i o s t a t i o n , it's not s o easy.

I C R a d i o m u s t not be p i c k e d up i n the M e w s o r E x h i b i t i o n R o a d . In o r d e r to be able to b r o a d c a s t at all, a ' l e a k y feeder' s y s t e m w a s set u p i n S o u t h s i d e a n d L i n s t e a d . A qualitative e x p l a n a t i o n of this is quite s i m p l e .

A l l signal-carrying c a b l e s radiate. In the c a s e of a c a b l e s u p p l y i n g a n a e r i a l for a c a m p u s , the p o w e r r e q u i r e d is 3 watts a n d the signal from the aerial s w a m p s that f r o m the cable. F o r the I C R a d i o ' l e a k y feeder' s y s t e m , the p o w e r is t u r n e d u p t o 2 0 W , but there are n o aerials. Instead, the c a b l e s are arranged vertically, two in S o u t h s i d e a n d o n e i n L i n s t e a d , e a c h t h e h e i g h t off the building. T h e IC R a d i o broadcasts c o m e f r o m these c a b l e s . M a t c h e d r e s i s t o r s o n the e n d s of the c a b l e s s t o p t h e s i g n a l s f r o m going any farther. T h e f e r r o c o n c r e t e s t r u c t u r e s of S o u t h s i d e a n d L i n s t e a d a c t u a l l y h e l p t o c o n f i n e t h e s i g n a l t o the buildings, aiding reception inside and p r e v e n t i n g b r o a d c a s t s to the M e w s residents.

If y o u have a p o r t a b l e ' t r a n n y ' t u n e d to 301m M W a n d y o u are s t a n d i n g u n d e r the a r c h i n S o u t h s i d e near the e n t r a n c e to the refectory, y o u c a n p i c k up I C R a d i o , but if y o u w a l k just a few y a r d s t o w a r d s the M e w s , the signal d i s a p p e a r s c o m p l e t e l y .

The idea that IC should have its j own campus radio started in mid , January 1974. The problem was to first persuade the Union and then College to spend £1,500 to set the , station up. The IC Campus Radio Society was formed in order to campaign for the setting up of the station.

1 was b r o a d c a s t i n g from a boat in the T h a m e s . T h e s e b r o a d c a s t s w e r e relatively w e a k , but b e c a u s e of C a r o l i n e ' s p r o x i m i t y to Imperial, I C R a d i o w e r e f o r c e d to c h a n g e their f r e q u e n c y to 3 0 1 m M W . T h e R a d i o C a r o l i n e boat t h e n s a n k , but b e c a u s e of the t r o u b l e it h a d c a u s e d , m a n y U n i v e r s i t i e s w e r e a l l o w e d to set up t h e i r o w n legal c a m p u s stations, a n d they w e r e all given the old R a d i o C a r o l i n e f r e q u e n c y .

N o w C a r o l i n e has b e e n set u p again, u s i n g the s a m e f r e q u e n c y a n d a ga in o n a pirate basis, w o r k i n g f r o m a boat. H o w e v e r , this time they are u s i n g a p o w e r f u l l O k W t r a n s m i t t er w h i c h c a n r e a c h p a r t s of E u r o p e a n d h a s c o m p l e t e l y d r o w n e d o u t all t h e university t r a n s m i t t e r s w h i c h use the s a m e frequency. R a d i o C a r o l i n e ' s only c o m m e n t is that C a r o l i n e p r o d u c e s the s o r t of m u s i c that s t u d e n t s like, a n d so in their v i e w c a m p u s radio stations are no longer required.

T h i s is a lamentable attitude, as stations s u c h as I C R a d i o not only p r o v i d e l o c a l n e w s a n d information, but p r o v i d e students i n t e r e s t e d i n r a d i o w i t h a n o p p o r t u n i t y to gain e x p e r t i s e in the field.

I Friday, January 27, 19841

IC Radio is run as a club with annual membership 50p. It is under . no obligation to comply with the views of the Union in any way—it has unlimited journalistic freedom.

This sets it apart from other college stations which are mere organs of ; their unions, and have to toe the line or have their grants cut.

To be trained as a D J for IC Radio get in touch with IC Radio Station Manager, Neil Collins or any IC Radio member on internal 3440.

Where to Listen In S o u t h s i d e a n d L i n s t e a d t u n e in to 9 9 9 K H z , 3 0 1 m M W . E x p e r i m e n t w i t h the p o s i t i o n of y o u r r a d i o — i t might w o r k b e t t e r near the r a d i a t o r . T h e r e are also speakers in L i n s t e a d B a r a n d Falmouth-Keogh.

In E v e l y n G a r d e n s s p e a k e r s are s u p p l i e d b y a r e n t e d post office line.

In t h e J C R except when S T O I C are b r o a d c a s t i n g .

In t h e F E L I X O f f i c e o n T h u r s d a y nights, while y o u are c o l l a t i n g , just before y o u get y o u r free d r i n k .

R e q u e s t s are gratefully r e c e i v e d o n internal 3440 a n d are u s u a l l y p l a y e d w i t h i n half a n h o u r .

I Page 7

a full enough picture of what life at the camp is like. The camera remains a mere recorder, like a T V news programme, and so the film as a whole seems superficial, because it does not concentrate on particular characters.

The best episode of all was a woman talking about her reasons for having her baby actually in the peace camp. The film is worth seeing, if you are willing to sit through The Second Awakening.

Dream Flights (Gate Bloomsbury) is a business. Various people oppose her, and the plot follows the successes and failures in Vassa's ambition as Russia slides inexorably towards the First World War and revolution.

The whole thing has the ring of a 'classic' about it, like adaptations of serious novels like Tess or The French Lieutenant's • Woman. The acting is immaculate and the photography concentrates hard and long on each scene. It is all rather heavy going, but Vassa cannot be faulted as a period film with a quality and scope perfect for wallowing in.

The Second Awakening of Christa Klages (Hampstead Everyman) is a title to

Sudden Impact (Warner West End) Clint Eastwood is back as Dirty Harry, a 'street-tough homicide detective'. The plot concerns the revenge killings by a girl of the men who gang-raped her and her sister ten years before, the shock having reduced the sister to a vegetable. Rarely have 1 seen so many gratuitous shootings and killings in a film—you wonder whether there will be any one left alive in San Francisco at the end of the film. The morals are as primitive as the dialogue, condoning 'an eye for an eye' pseudo-philosophies whilst yelling 'go kiss your ass, you godamned mother fucker!'. A s a film, however, Sudden Impact is well photographed and moves along crisply. It is a professional Hollywood film. If you like guns, violence and a stronger plot than is usual in such films, Sudden Impact is just great.

Vassa (Academy Cinema) is a Russian film examining the family of a powerful shipping magnate in the 1913 Ukraine. Vassa is a Lady Macbeth figure who will stop at nothing to ensure the survival of her husband's

put anyone off. The implausible plot concerns the aftermath of a bank robbery by Christa & C o who intend to use the money to save a children's commune. Everything goes wrong with Christa's plans, and unfortunately with the film. The twisting and turnings of the plot soon muddle the whole argument of solidarity between women.

Several interesting characters are introduced but are not developed properly before Chrisfa dashes away to have her next crisis.

Christa herself is uncompromising and witty, and until she started daubing feminist slogans on walls, I thought she was a realistic and intelligently played character. Because its cliches are muddled The Second Awakening leaves you nothing but irritated and confused.

Carry Greenham Home (same programme) is a documentary about the Greenham C o m m o n peace camp. There are some excellent 'behind the scenes' episodes especially when you see what Francis Coverdale of the B B C is really like. There are no interviews or commentary so in concentrating on the set piece confrontations with the police (often admittedly very funny and highly effective on film) the film doesn't give

delightful light comedy about a charming non-comformist. He is used to behaving like an irresponsible adolescent, but suddenly as his 40th birthday looms nearer he finds people are not willing to indulge his fantasies.

Thankfully there's no complex psychological analysis—the man is attractive yet selfcentred, and the film humorously explores the dangers and delights of such behaviour.

Well worth seeing.

The Honorary Consul (Classic, Haymarket) is sadly a mere excuse to show off Richard Gere's 'delectable bum'. The book is one of Graham Greene's better works, but by making the film a vehicle for Gere the director concentrates too much on the central triangular relationship between a doctor (Gere), a beautiful local girl and her husband, a drunken British consul. The consul is played by Michael Caine who provides the major spark of life to a film that, despite some rave reviews, I found a major disappointment.

Tony Atkins

Brainstorm (ABC, Empire) Starring Natalie Wood and Christopher Walken.

Scientists have invented a helmet capable of recording feelings and emotions, which can transfer these experiences from one mind to a n o t h e r . Initially the helmet is used to frivolously record thrills of sport and sex until someone dies while recording. T h e 'death tape' is immediately locked away by the authorities. The plot centres on one of the device's creators, Christopher Walken, trying to get the tape so that he can play it through to the end.

A fascinating idea, carried out extremely well. The 'helmet' sequences are shot in Cinemascope with extra speakers for the soundtrack in larger cinemas. The effects are spectacular, with a breathtaking final sequence that leaves audiences stunned.

Moon in the Gutter (Lumiere) Starring Nastassia Kinski (sigh!) and Gerard Depardieu.

Dirty

Harry and Christa Kluges both doing what they do best.

This F r e n c h language film comes from the makers of Diva and can be likened to a magazine cover-glossy a n d slick o n the outside and totally empty on the inside. The film, made almost entirely in the studio, is beautifully shot, and the etherial Nastassia K i n s k i is at her brilliant best. T h e film, however, is let down by a very poor plot, which makes an otherwise masterful work drag rather.

Pallab Ghosh Page 81

1 Friday, January 27, 1984 \

FELIX

By Juvenal

Arthur Michael, the good but not very helpful fairy, was all in a tizzy. 'Does my hair look alright, Nigel?' he asked earnestly. 'And what about my tie—is it straight?' Unfortunately for Arthur, his minion had long since left the room bored with Arthur's perpetual questions. But what was the reason for Arthur's vain concern? Was he going to another of Lady Marigold's garden parties? N o , it was nothing less than an edict from the top floor of the Surefield Building that was the reason.

Arthur Michael was going to see The Baron and his sidekick, John Secretary. Glancing at the time, Arthur realised that his make-up would have to be left unfinished so, grabbing his wand, he hurriedly left his office and made his way to Surefield.

The top of the Surefield Building was just how he remembered it from his previous visits. The rows of offices whose occupants had so little to do. They were all political appointees who owed their position to the Baron's patronage and favour. Furtively peeping around one office door, he gazed upon its splendorous decorations, the lavish furniture and fittings. Its occupant sat at a large desk reading a newspaper.

'I'll soon have one that big' thought Arthur jealously comparing it with his own paltry office tucked away on the outskirts of the kingdom. Turning around, he stared at the large double doors that confronted him—the entrance to the Baron's Throne Room.

Arthur gulped, pulled his trousers around his ample girth and tapped nervously on the door.

'I wonder if I ought to make a special kind of knock and shake hands in an odd way,' thought Arthur who was not fully acquainted with the unusual habits of his seniors.

However, there were no such requirements in this case. 'Enter,' cried a distant, familiar voice. Arthur pushed open the heavy door with all his might; it revealed a long, narrow chamber. A t one end, seated and upon a FELIX I

raised platform, was the Baron with, as ever, his loyal acolyte John Secretary. A s Arthur tip-toed towards the two of them, John Secretary shook the Baron's shoulder to rouse him.

'He's here to discuss F A L I X , ' he whispered in his ear. F A L I X was the citizen's newspaper and its editor, Phallas Goolies, had upset the Baron and his many cronies. Arthur fell on his knees and waited to be addressed. ' W h o will rid my Kingdom of this turbulent priest?' cried the Baron frantically waving his arms in the air, as if brandishing a sword. Arthur frowned, worried by the outburst. The odd libel case was more what he had in mind by way of retribution, nothing more. J o h n Secretary was also unimpressed by his senior's brief ramble into the literary world. 'I, er we-thought of printing another edition of F A I R Y . That is what we are here to discuss,' he reminded the Baron.

F A I R Y was a newspaper produced by Arthur—hence its title—and some of the Baron's employees with time on their hands. ' A h 'yes,' replied the Baron rather grumpily. 'Yes, your last effort was rather good...'

'Did you read it?!' exclaimed Arthur, flattered by such exalted praise, and audaciously interrupting the Rector.

'Do you think that I have time to read every tawdry rag that gets produced in my kingdom?' shouted the Baron who was not at all pleased. ' M r Secretary explained that it said all the right things I want said and that's all that matters. So stop asking questions and get off and dt> as you're told!'

F A I R Y was also occupying the thoughts of another of Cheapskate notables: Gormless Layon, President of the Citizens Association.

'It's much better than F A L I X , ' she thought as she sat at her desk knitting.

'It didn't have a bad word to say about me!

A n d it criticised Goolies—it's just the sort of newspaper the Union really needs. I could even edit myself—well get Pristine to do it, anyway.'

Gormless leaned back in her chair and took a long sip of her glass of sherry and began to think. A n d she was not long into her flights of fancy when she heard cackling from the room next to hers.

'I know, I'll get.Pristine to make a magic spell! I'm sure that she'll be able to get rid of Goolies—she's helped get rid of other citizen's representatives!'

Gormless opened the door that adjoined her room to Pristine's. There, leaning over a boiling cauldron, was Pristine, the wicked Witch of Southside. She was shovelling large quantities of paper into the steaming pot.

'Bloody estimates,' she moaned stirring the mixture with the handle of one of her old broomsticks.

'Pristine, I've had this wonderful idea,' exclaimed Gormless. Pristine wearily raised her head knowing that any idea meant more work for her. 'It's about Phallas Goolies, I thought that....'

Friday, January 27, 1984 \

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

i6.

T h e

R e c t o r

The man you only see twice in your life-once at the reception in your first year and once when you graduate after your final year.

Thus speaks the 'average IC student'. It seems timely, then, to look at the career of this shadowy figure, the 'hunter of fascists'.

Brian Hilton Flowers became, just over four years ago, almost a family name. For it was then that a devastating blow was dealt to L o n d o n ' s m e d i c a l s c h o o l s with the publication of the controversial 'Flowers Report'. But his career began many years before this, in Manchester.

It was at the University of Manchester that Brian was made Professor of Theoretical Physics in 1958. But the key to his character was his long term association with socialist politics, some would say under the influence of Harold Wilson.

It came as no surprise, then, when he defected from Academia to the S E R C as its C h a i r m a n . In one swift m o v e , he had achieved a powerful position in the scientific community. By this time he had met and married Mary. The circumstances of their marriage are very odd.

In 1974, without much trouble, he came back to A c a d e m i a as Rector of Imperial College. He professed his disenchantment with socialism and expressed a desire to live a totally academic life. Since his elevation to the peerage, however, he has frequently spoken in the House of Lords when other commitments have allowed him.

He was now in the position to launch his master plan. The medical schools had lost their image of youth and vitality following the great post-war change. Together with Santos-Dyer, the mafia-boss from C a m bridge (as has recently been shown) he executed the blow in his Dulles Report. But what else could be expected of a contemporary of K i m Philby?

The Mole Page 9

H o w to Enter I think I will make a good officer, in serving of most of the 1. Y o u have to be a full sabbatical because main Union committees such as member of the students'union U G M S , Councils, Finance, 2. T h e p a p e r s f o r t h e House etc. Other duties include: President, Deputy President, Name Ihe running of elections; the Honorary Secretary and F E L I X Dept upkeep of constitutions; the Editor will be up on the Union , production of the Unioncard and noticeboard (main door to Union p" ^" °" U n i o n Directory; insurance.

B u i l d i n g ) between 9:30am parking permits, etc, and again is " " an ex-officio member on all M o n d a y 13 Feb and 5:30pm Friday 24 Feb 1984. entails Union committees.

3. Insert your name, the name • President 4. F E L I X Editor P of your proposer a n d the °' This involves the production of a signature of 20 seconders—all of basically in charge o l the Union newspaper (called F E L I X , o r g a n i s a t i o n a n d e t t e c t i v e funnily enough) every Friday in Are you bored with your course, which must be full members of >mng Union. term and the overall responand have more than a year to go the Union—on the sheet for whichever post you prefer (a brief President is also the voice ol the , to finish.. description of each job is given " , ° f . level and at an Are you afraid o f failing your ' -°" ° below) The elections for the above year? „ 4. G o to the Hustings U G M member of all Union committees.

A r e you about to finish your on Thursdav 1 March and trv and . ballot box in all departments on ?nP degree and have not been offered impress the 600 or so people J / Monday 5 and Tuesday 6 March .J ' . .; day administration of the services mo^ a job yet? present, that you are the best , .. , . ^, . iyu». erson for he ob °' Union, this Or do you just want a break includes responsibility for The papers for the D e p Rep person or te j o .

5.. R -finance ,• , j , • at present up •in all f, . .u n about. . College , ° .tor ,. a (including producing elections are from your studies? week doing nothing but sticking , u • -u. tA. -S ° „ , , estimates), the Union Building departments.

The position of D o n ' t fear, for all is not yet up posters saving Vote name : , .. „ „ , , , , ,.. security transport, bookings, the Dep Rep may not appear as lost, for this term sees the and nanains out leattets telling , • . r-.r. u i . . , t _ * . « Union mascot, etc.

The D P chairs glamorous as the above posts, election of next year's sabbatical the voters that you are absolutely j • u _• • • . ..... , , several Union committees and is but is however, just as important, officers. Some people believe you brilliant and no one else can ~_ . , r n - T - i _ u i . i i . . . . ,. an ex-otticio member o i all 1 he ob basically involves reprecould win a free holiday i n the compare with what excellent „_ . „ .. . . , . ' . „ . . * ,. , others. He sits on many College senting students on staff/student sun with a l l expenses paid. achievements you can make in , , • <- , • • However, don't get taken i n by committees and deputises tor the committees in your department the next year. . , , . . 'this superb advertising.

President. and making sure that any cornT o enter this competition is After doing all the above, then 3. Honorary Secretary plaints from the students get very easy. A l l you have to do is complete the following sentence The main aspects o f this job are dealt with, follow the rules very carefully. (in not more than 20 words) along the lines of a duplicating Sean Davis S

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SlMlAlLlL FOR S A L E • M a z d a 8 1 8 , 1 3 0 0 c c , 4dr s a l o o n (Nov 1976 m o d e l ) . 6 3 5 0 0 m i l e s , M o T D e c 1984, t a x e d J a n 1984. P r i c e £550ono.

R Fair, E l e c E n g 2 o r 589 8433.

• W h a r f e d a l e L a s e r 6 0 s p e a k e r s , 60w.

M a k e m e a n offer a r o u n d £50 p l e a s e ?

T h e m o s T s i k a s , 373 8828 (eves).

• A k a i S X - R 7 free a n g l e s p e a k e r s y s t e m , built-in a m p l i f i e r s , i d e a l f o r p e r s o n a l s t e r e o s y s t e m s . A b a r g a i n at £50.

R Fair, E l e c E N g 2 o r 589 8433.

• G e n t l e m a n ' s d i n n e r suit, 4 2 " chest W o r n only o n c e . M o d e r n style. £20 o n o . C o n t a c t S i m o n B a n t o n for details.

• C a s i o PT30 programmable keyboard, 8 v o i c e s , 18 r h y t h m s , a u t o m a t i c c h o r d accompaniment, remembers sequence of o u t e r 5 0 0 notes. O n l y £50. C o n t a c t R o g e r o n 584 5020 ext 239.

• M Z 1 2 5 c c b i k e , 3000 m i l e s , 1yr o l d , excellent learner b i k e , £250 o n o .

D e n i s e E v a n s , P h y s i c s 815 (int 2963) . • P r a k t i c a M T L 3 5 m m S L R c a m e r a and case. G o o d condition. Only £25ono.

C o n t a c t W S t e e n , M E P G , int 3565, R m 309.

• S u z u k i G S 1 2 5 E S Z , Y reg, superb l e a r n e r m o t o r c y c l e . E l e c t r i c start, alloy w h e e l s , r e d , t o p b o x fitted, £ 5 5 0 o n o .

C o n t a c t L i n d a C o r n w a l l , int 4480 ( R m 1006 H u x l e y ) o r S o u t h w e l l H o u s e R m 5923.

• L a d i e s B i c y c l e , three s p e e d , g o o d I c o n d i t i o n , £25. S a l l y A d a m s , int 2345.

• G e n t s b i c y c l e , three speed, good w o r k i n g o r d e r , £20. C l i v e S t a n w a y , int 4082.

• F r e e offer: If y o u w a n t b a c k i s s u e s of

o n l y £ 2 0 0 o n o . C o n t a c t P A l l e n , int 2918 o r 788 4648.

• F o r d E s c o r t , 1.1, y e l l o w , 2dr, 74,000 m i l e s , M o T till J u n e , L r e g , £ 1 9 5 o n o .

P h o n e A s h f o r d (69) 5 5 8 2 2 (eves).

• C y c l e s h o e s , b r a n d new, s i z e 7, £5, T Bell, M e c h E n g U G letter-racks.

• W a s h i n g Machine (non-automatic), good condition £40ono. Phone G r a h a m K i n g o n int 3680 or 870 6770.

WANTED • G e n e s i s , lift w a n t e d , 2 p e o p l e will s h a r e petrol c o s t s , 2 7 / 2 / 8 4 . C o n t a c t J B a k e r , C i v E n g 1.

• W a n t e d : O n e H o n S e c in w o r k i n g order, apply G u i l d s Union Office.

• M a l e E x p e d i t i o n M e m b e r w a n t e d for Rainforest Expedition—Ecuador, OctD e c 1984. A g r o u p of 3 girls, 1 g u y a n d you i n t e n d to measure infiltration rates t h r o u g h t r o p i c a l rainfi rest c a n o p y of 3 different e l e v a t i o n s in t h e interior o f Ecuador Please contact Diane S h e r m a n at I C C E T , 48 P r i n c e ' s G d n via ' S ' p i g e o n h o l e on 1st floor, by M o n d a y 6 F e b e n c l o s i n g a C V , photo and note outlining what y o u think y o u c o u l d ' c o n t r i b u t e to s u c h a n e x p e d i t i o n .

• S t o l e n bike! R e d Viscount A e r o s p a c e Sport, taken from bike sheds outside Old Chemistry building, probably bet w e e n 4 : 3 0 - 7 : 3 0 p m o n T h u r s 19 J a n .

T e n - s p e e d , q u i c k - r e l e a s e w h e e l s , alloy h a n d l e b a r s . If y o u c a n h e l p in a n y w a y please contact Donald Craig (Chem P G ) , W h i f f e n L a b , C h e m Dept, int 2520.

ACCOMMODATION

New Scientist (26 N o v 1981-19 M a y • F l a t s h a r e f o r 1 m a l e in s h a r e d r o o m .

1983) p l e a s e c o n t a c t S J a i n , M a t h s P G .

I v * M i n i 1000 L r e g , e x c e l l e n t m e c h a n i c s , I n e w clutch, new gearbox (under * guarantee), reconditioned electrics, r e c o n d i t i o n e d rear s u s p e n s i o n a n d b r a k e s . G o o d r u n n e r . Ideal all r o u n d t o w n . 6 m t h s M o T a n d tax. T a t t y a n d bent rear o f f s i d e ( w h i c h p a s s e d M o T ) , ideal conversion for rallying, hence

Page 101

Kitchen, Lexham College.

R m 309,

b a t h r o o m a n d c / h . Flat 3, 81 G d n s . only 15mins walk to R e n t £23pw. W S t e e n , M E P G , int 3565 or 373 1968.

PERSONAL • M i s s A C o l l i n s ( F K Hall) w o u l d like it k n o w n that t o d a y is her birthday, that s h e ' d a p p r e c i a t e a c o l d bath as a present!

• J o h n - P e t e / P e t e - J o h n — 6 0 m of c l i n g f i l m for 69!!! (at S a i n s b u r y ' s , O K yah!)

• P e t e — s e e . y o u ' v e b e e n m e n t i o n e d in a F E L I X small a d — n o w (So has M r Subes!)

• P o o h Bear Society requires chairman and committee. Nominations on noticeboard, central entrance, U n i o n B u i l d i n g , before next F r i d a y .

• E x - L i n s t e a d r e m a i n u n b e a t e n , beating G a r d e n H a l l 2-1 after c r o w d t r o u b l e from the police.

• S t e p h of L i n s t e d — s o r r y if I n e a r l y put my foot in i t — L e e m a n .

• E l e c t r i c a l E n g i n e e r First Y e a r w h o joined Latin A m e r i c a n S o c during H u m a n Rights Week, please contact J o h n S a t t a u r , P h y s i c s 3.

• W h a t is t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e t w e e n t h i n ice a n d c o n c r e t e ? D o n ' t ask B e g l y Begly or Amphibious Jules.

• J a z z C l u b is b a c k ! A n y o n e w i s h i n g t o use Jazz R o o m for practise and S C A B p u b l i c a d d r e s s s y s t e m b r i n g £1 a n d p h o t o g r a p h to IC U n i o n O f f i c e . T h u r s 2 Feb, 1pm.

• T e t l e y Bitterman say 'Boycott, Briggs et a l r u l e Y C C O K ' .

• C a p t a i n L o c k h e e d — B e w a r e the pen is m i g h t i e r t h a n t h e s w o r d a n d a lot easier t o write with too—Hobbit.

• E l w e n & Home—Advertising Consultants to t h e p o r n i n d u s t r y — C o n t a c t v i a BSH. • D e a r H o b b i t — t h e p e n m a y be m i g h t ier t h a n t h e s w o r d but y o u can't s l a y dragons with a pen. Signed L o c k h e e d .

• G i l l — t h e w r i t i n g s o n t h e wall...the c u p b o a r d , t h e barrier, e t c — J J .

• B r a n s o c will r i s e f r o m the a s h e s . . . . o r jar!

• F a n c y a stuffing? Play Metallurgy P G f o o t b a l l XI. C o n t a c t P R i c h a r d s , int 2175.

• F o u n d , Sports Centre, enamel ring in the s h a p e of a f i s h . C o n t a c t G Sturridge, B i o c h e m 3 letter-racks.

• U n c l e W i l l y J s u n d e r 5s party t o n i g h t , 64-66 Evelyn G d n s . D i s c o , D a n g e r M o u s e v i d e o s , free f o o d , r u s k s , jelly ' n ' ice cream and bucket cocktails.

• T o t h e f o x y little R e d h e a d w i t h t h e • W h a t h a s got 4 e y e s , 4 legs a n d g o e s c h e e k y s m i l e — y o u have a great pair of splash? The Hildyard Road Amphibian inflatables.

U u o (BB and J).

• S i l w o o d Park football team: T h a n k s • E a g l e E y e s of P o y n t o n — t h e i n v i s i b l e for a great d a y out last S u n d a y , M a t h s m a n is o n y o u r trail.

XI. • B a m s t e r d o e s it w i t h b l a c k c a b s a n d • P r o o n D a r l i n g , y o u are a w f u l but I like w h i t e vivas. W e have the e v i d e n c e S H B you.

(3) Et A l i a .

• L e m m i n g — i f y o u w a n t to get a hat, • A n d r e w T h o m a s — A n a p o l o g y . I w o u l d like t o e x p r e s s m y p r o f o u n d get a h e a d — M o l e of B S H . regret f o r a n y e m b a r r a s s m e n t s u f f e r e d • N o w a v a i l a b l e f r o m the a u t h o r of Fast a s a result o f t h e s m a l l a d s n i p e i n last R u b b e r ' a n d ' P i t s t o p s — i n a n d out in 10 week's FELIX for which I alone w a s s e c o n d s ' — ' S e x in a s i n g l e s e a t e r ' b y P responsible—Martin Squibbs.

H e a l y (contact ME2).

• A p o l o g i e s M a t h s XI 2, C o l i n 4 , A n d y A • W h a t ' s theodd one out between H e i n z 2, A n d y L e M 2, M i k e 2, V i c 1. B e t t e r Beans, Soya beans and a dildo — l u c k next time.

Heinz beans, c o s i n e oiner i w o are meat substitutes.

Cycle Coding • S t u d (ex of L i n s t e a d ) n o w r e s i d e n t in 1 F e b r u a r y 1984 C l a p h a m s e e k s s k i l f u l w o m a n for a Ante-Room Sherfield Building quick pitstop.

12noon to 3:00pm.

• H a v e B S H A n i m a l s b e e n t r a i n e d by the H a r s h M i s t r e s s ? — C o m e o n y o u wimps.

{Friday, January 27, 1984\

I FELIX

Z l u b s

Hope ' ^ryone who went along enjoy the bar games night.

The next big Guilds event is on 7 Feb, the 'Field C u p ' .

For those who have never experienced the event it involves visiting many local establishments (pubs) by solving cryptic clues, in teams of 4 to 6 people.

En route you must collect various treasure, eg a six foot plank, a policeman's hat, etc.

So get a team together now, and sign your names up in the Guilds Office this week.

On Thursday we have a trip to the Lazerium. This will cost £1.75, although if more than twenty people put their names down in the Guilds Office it will be less. Meet 6:00pm Guilds Office.

Scout and Guide The Scout and Guide Club spent last weekend in Snowdonia.

While Scotland was experiencing lOOmph winds and driving snow, the conditions in Wales were

quite pleasant.

The wind was strong and it had uncovered some sheet ice, which forced us to call off an attempt to walk the Snowdon Horse-Shoe Ridge, but the mountain was climbed by other routes and both the walking and the ice-climbing were enjoyable.

Weekends in the Gower and on Offa's Dyke are planned for next month.

J R Jones MED

It's the Annual Dinner next Friday night so anyone out there who hasn't bought their ticket to this event of the year had better pull their finger out and grab one quick from the office or officers.

The following Sunday we have the Rugby 7s so anyone who wants to win a barrel ought to see Digby Holman, the 1st S V Capt, or any member of the team.

That's about all, hope you enjoyed the Aladin trip and the barnight, and don't forget the elections.

See you around.

DP the VP

Rt Hon Leon Brittan MP Home Secretary

Debsoc This coming Thursday 2 Feb, at 1:00pm in Reed Lecture Theatre :(Sherfield level 5) there is the first major debate—with outside speakers—of the year. The motion is 'This House supports Trade & Cultural Links with South Africa'. Proposing the motion is the Conservative M P John Carlisle, who as a member of the M C C , tried to stop the government pressure on sporting links with South Africa.

Opposing is a former Imperial College Union President Trevor Phillips. He became President of N U S and currently produces Channel 4's minority programme Black on Black. If you feel at all strongly on this issue then come and make a short speech from the floor or ask a question. It's your chance to make your point o f view heard.

Nick Shackley 1

Jazz Club Jazz Club is back! Due to the lack of a committee last term the Club .was basically non-existent. H o w ever, the S C A B executive have taken over the booking of the

Jazz Room where anyone can practise playing their instruments. Membership for the remainder of the year will be £ 1 and you will need a passport photograph to get a membership card which will be issued at IC Union Office next Thursday 2 Feb. This will enable you to hire the S C A B P A system and book the Jazz Room. Old cards will be useless, by the way.

N Shackley SCAB Hon Secretary

CND This term we are beginning a, hopefully, co-ordinated campaign that will culminate sometime next academic year in a fortnight of events in celebration for peace.

O n Tuesday 7 Feb, 1:00pm in Huxley LT213, Wattie Taylor, a peace activist in the States will be giving a talk and slide show on ithe peace movement in America.

He is touring European N A T O j countries in order to further the growing international peace and disarmament movement.

Even if you disagree with us why not come along and see what is happening in the States.

For the cheapest air fares worldwide and reliable and f r i e n d l y s e r v i c e , c a l l in at R I T E P R I C E

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Friday, January 27, 19841

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Congratulations to the following, who have been awarded colours. The Boat Club deserve a special mention as they have several internationals in their team and they are the most successful team in College by a long way.

(Apart from badminton, of course!)

In response to questions asked, I feel 1 must explain that all reports written concerning table tennis in F E L I X are usually one week out of date. This is due to the fact that matches are played mid-week and so it is impossible to submit reports for the week's matches before the deadline of 5:00pm Monday. Thus any references to days are to the week preceding the week for the F E L I X issue.

Last Monday (16 Jan), Team 1 restarted their season with the promised positive attitude (to avoid relegation). They beat Sainsbury are up with the leading group of Division 2.

Team 3 continued on their way to a good overall performance for the season by vanquishing City University 9-0 (partly due to two-thirds of the opposing team missing the match).

Team 4 slacked a little in their second half season rally by losing 9-0 in their second match. However Brian Norminton showed continued improvement so the match was not a total loss.

Team 5 played (I think) but, no report was forthcoming, unfortunately, as they stood a good chance of beating City of London Police. N o doubt the report will be submitted to me in time for the next F E L I X issue!

Colours Cricket Club Full Athletic Colours S Tear P Eastland E Helsby Half Athletic Colours A Harlow R Kelly K Jarrett N Shaw K Ackford S Bell Boat Club Full Athletic Colours J P Thorn I W Harrison W D Downing J D Griffiths R J O'Brien W M S Bradbury A D Spalding G H Harding E R Mendez M L Greaves P M G Allen T J Anderson

IC vs L H M C 485-474 W o n Last Wednesday Imperial College continued their highly successful season by walking all over the London Hospital Medical College, and thus maintaining their unbeaten record.

Despite L H M C bringing along too many people, and choosing their team after they had all shot, fine performances were seen from top of IC's top sportsmen. Surprise of the day was E d Ashford's 99, the top score of the day. This was highly commendable for a first year marksman with little match experience. Other IC scores: Steve ' G u t ' Harrison 98, Gordon 'Shred' Bowser 97, Andrew 'Baguettes' Hamilton 96, Gareth Jones and T i m Gigs 95 each.

Last Saturday Bowser and Harrison went off to help U L gain revenge on Cambridge for last year's defeat. U L fell for Cambridge's usual tactics again of providing a range lit and heated by candles, despite Grodon's 192 ex 200, London lost yet again.

I C R P C are happy to announce yet another innovative, original and startling social evening. After the amazing success of last term's Sloane Ranger Pub Run, we are going ;down the dogs. No—not the Isle of, but the greyhounds at the White City. Sign up in the range, and don't forget to bring a dirty mac and a fiver. Date for this cultural evening is yet to be fixed by our Ents committee.

A l l for now—happy banging!

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Mens 1 v R H C W o n 9-0 This was the game that no one wants to play in, as it means travelling all the way to Egham to play a team incapable of beating anyone in the whole club.

Their court resembles a shoe box from the outside, but the inside feels more like an igloo.

The highlights of the match were few and far between, in fact, come to think of it, tlicie werer't any. Ian ana myself managed to do the impossible and lose a set to their third pair, but we rectified things by beating their first pair 15-0, 15-7, though still not playing well. Dominic Demento and Ave Allen do damned war dances together and I can see that D o m will have a difficult task holding on to the title of 'Club Nutter". Steve and Lee should really have played left-handed, in fact we all should.

Mens 3 were fated by me last week and somehow managed to lose 8-1 to Chelsea of all people. They'll still win the league though.

The Ladies couldn't get a team together for the first time this year, but could still do well in the legaue.

More names for the Dublin tour please, leaving 10 Feb, coming back on Sunday. I really need names by today, if possible, as I need to give an indication of numbers and expenses to Exec.

• • • I

Friday. January 27, 1984

BHM

St Georges Hospital 1-2 IC2 'It's a great weight off my shoulders.' So proclaimed centre forward Leroy Wint jafter netting his first goal of the season as IC Seconds continued their recent run of good results with a 2-1 win at Cobham. The result is remarkable when set against the outcome of the previous encounter between these two sides when IC Seconds went down 5-0. Fielding for the first time this season an unchanged side IC had the better of goalless first half.

Captain and left-back Tony Wilkinson incurred an early injury but this had little discernible impact on the game. Midway through the second half St Georges broke through and took an ill-deserved lead.

Undeterred IC rallied well and Leroy headed in a spectacular equaliser following good work on the right wing by T o m Dutton and Dave Lynne. The latter it was who scored the winner from an acute angle as St Georges drifted out of the match. The result left the side jubilant having taken seven points out of the last eight, following a shaky beginning to the session. Recent editorial trends debar team lists so rather than single out any individual for special praise it suffices to commend the team in anonymity.

After being unbeaten for two years in the U L U Challenge Cup IC were unable to show very much live football on Saturday due to a technical dispute amongst the players. IC shop steward Gary Lawrence blamed the dispute on unfavourable playing conditions such as 'the opposition keep beating us', 'too . many long balls for not enough reward', etc.

There were several unofficial stoppages and lightening strikes during the first half hour during which the Goldsmiths blacklegs crossed our picket-line three times, without much resistance, despite chants of'Out! Out!' and 'Offside, ref!' from our members. After consultation with an A C A S official dressed in a black suit, IC members voted for a return to work for twenty minutes either side of the tea break. During this period productivity was good and IC were well recompensed by a header from flying picket Dave Griffiths, and a fine shot on the turn from striker John Rigby. However IC did lose one order when Rob Clarke contravened a union rule inside his own box and Goldsmiths scored from the resulting fine.

Despite several attempts before the end of the game to reach a suitable solution IC finished the period with a deficit of 5-2. IC Union leader Dave Griffiths blames our recent poor industrial performance on the defection of a number of former comrades to the rival University of London Company.

This company offers a better management and playing conditions and supposedly a higher quality product. In spite of claims by the U of L team to be a representative side of the best players at College in London it resembles at the moment at IC old boys team.

O f its 20 members 50% are ex-IC 1st X I and 2nd X I . Clearly this imbalance lowers the standards of both the U of L X I and, unforH n a n H m n H H i F a i x

tunately, I C Football Club as a whole, and it would be beneficial if the U of L team was truly representative and could take a maximum of three or four players from each college. Without wishing to lessen the personal ambition of rurrent IC players they are urged to considf ae future and the reputation of, what is aiier a l l , their own college football club, beofre making similar moves.

Congratulations to the first team on being 8 points clear at the top of the Universities of London League—that makes us the best student team in L o n d o n .

Other teams have not fared so well, particularly the third and fourth teams who were both demoted to the fifth league for this session. We're jstill looking for some keen players—it's not too late to join us!

Coming up this term are two knock-out tournaments: one open to non-club members played to S R A rules, the other a handicap competition with American scoring. There are going to be one or two afternoons in midFebruary devoted to getting through the early rounds: these should be social occasions too so I expect to see most members participating!

Finally, but importantly, is the clubs proposed tour of Southern Ireland. Dates have now been aired for 30 March to 8 A p r i l .

We will be driving around the country— subject to the transport committee letting us hire one of the College minibuses—playing both university and club sides: our final match should be a memorable one in Dublin against Guinness Breweries.

M y thanks to D r Oliver Dolby (Biochem) for all the organisation he has done so far to get the tour on the road. I don't think we're going to be short of numbers for this, so i f you're keen, you had better sign up rapidly!

Remember that last year's tour to Germany included two people who had never played a competitive match before, but they had great fun.

G o o d squashing!

Way out on the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy, near a small yellow star, orbitted at a distance of roughly 93 million miles, by an insignificant blue-green planet, there is a small hole in the space-time conintuum. T o plug this void, occuring at 6:30-8:70 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, in the Union G y m , the inscrutable monoliths of 208 Hamlet Gardnes occasionally employ a tiny imperceptible device known as the IC Judo Club.

Their ability to do this effectively is slightly hindered by those members whose attendance has fallen off lately. However seven of us resently helped London at Brunei's interuniversity competition (attended by the likes of Bristol, Brunei, Cambridge and Norwich).

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The men's A team smashed all of the opposition into, the mat, taking gold for the second year running. The men's B team narrowly missed the semi-finals, and the women's team, comprised entirely of IC regulars, took bronze in their event. Thanks go to M a r k , T i m , Graham, Andy, Rachel, A n n a and G a b i .

IC have a friendly contest with London Hospital on 31 January, which promises to be a very good practise for beginners and higher grades alike. The annual inter-collegiate competition is looming, and we get to keep the trophy if we win it again, so a strong turnout from all, please. There is a grading on 4 M a r c h , and everyone, especially lower grades, are capable of doing well.

Well, here at last is the first I C H G C report of the year. Last Saturday saw four IC fliers brave the bitter cold at Dunstable (200ft; wind light, W / N W with scratchy lift). Our President, Dave Rusby, took to the air first on the Vortex and managed a good soaring flight in marginal conditions. However, on toplanding, the bushes claimed yet another victim and it was a good forty minutes before the wing deflexor was temporarily repaired.

Dave Thorns was next to lob-off and, after much pedalling for his stirrup, was forced down. M e l took advantage of the mild conditions to convert from seated to Budgie (with no problems whatsoever) and, after much gentle persuasion, D a v e . Evans managed to get signed off for his three high flights. A l l in all a fair days flying marred only

by Dave Rusby's clutch slipping on his *• Passion Wagon Sunday's flying was nonexistent due to the N o r t h wind and rain—preventing Pete from converting to Budgie on his Scorpion.

Don't forget meetings Mondays at 12:30 above Southside Bar or see you on the hill.

2nd X I v G o a n 3-0 After the draw last week in a friendly against Chalfont, the seconds got down to the serious business of avoiding relegation to the second division of the Middlesex League. A t nearly full strength the side soon mastered the skills of the opposition to dominate the first half with better control, crisp interceptions and imaginative passing, but were unable to breakdown a solid defence, though Roessink was unlucky on two occasions the surface preventing better chances. Meanwhile G o a n did not look like scoring with goalkeeper Slatter only touching the ball once in the half and Dodds breaking down any threatening attacks on their right wing.

The half-time talk brought more urgency into IC's play and in a series of well-taken shot-corners Whitehead came close to scoring on several occasions. Finally with about ten minutes left, frustration boiled over WWWWFriday, January 27, 1984JkWkWk

in a series of wild tackles from both sides which affected the opposition more than us.

Indeed one of their players intent on revenge against a tackle allowed the ball to reach the right wing, where Eldridge cut inside and from a tight angle beat the goalkeeper at the near post.

With the required breakthrough IC now looked a different side and in the next few minutes created several chances for Whitten and Whitehead, though Gean also had its best chance of the game, a first time shot from their left-wing. Finally the game was decided when another attack was stopped just outside their circle and from the resulting free hit, Roessink hit a first time shot past a stationary keeper. The opposition were now totally demoralised and with minutes to go, Eldridge picked up a cross from Holgate at the top of the circle and rounded the keeper for his second and IC's third goal of the game.

Inter-University Gliding Club Task Week This year's Task Week was organised by Imperial College Gliding Club and held i n early August at our local airfield at Lasham near Basingstoke. Teams from the universities of Cambridge, Edinburgh, Essex, Southampton,- Surrey, and, of course, Imperial completed over a number of set • tasks which typically consisted of a triangular course, total distance around 120km, with two distant turning points (distinct landmarks such as a radio mast or a power station) which have to be photographed as proof of ones progress. A complicated scoring system which handicaps the average speed around the task (or the distance flown if the task is not completed) is used to award points.

Our luck/skill varied considerably during the week from the day when all three I C G C single-seat sailplanes landed in the same farmer's field some fifteen miles form the airfield, to an impressively quick 120km flight

by A n n Dziwior in the usually docile K 8 .

O n the while, however the week was extremely successful with five competition days, and all nine participating I C pilots gaining excellent soaring and cross country experience either flying solo, or with an ex- . student or friend of the club in one of the three borrowed two-seat gliders. Despite supplying the computer program which calculated the scores, Imperial finished third, with honours going to Cambridge and Surrey.

Following the tradition of holding the Task Week at the same venue for two consecutive years, Imperial is again to host the competition at Lasham in 1984 before it moves on, probably to Edinburgh. Hopefully, with similar weather and field conditions, a little more luck with the thermals, and the benefit of more intensive instruction through our weekend training courses which started this eyar, we could see I C G C moving a littler nearer the elusive first place. m

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1230h above Southside Bar Hang Gliding Club meeting.

1230h J C R Socialist Soc bookstall. Books, info and Campaign Coffee.

1230h

wedpe^day

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1030h

1245h meet Beit Arch Vegsoc lunch at RCA.

1230h

C o m m o n Room Meeting to take names for visit to R S P B reserve at Elmley on Sunday and for Solway Firth in February.

1245h meet Beit Arch Vegsoc Lunch at RCA.

1245h Mech Eng Foyer ICCAG talking to and helping geriatric patients at St Pancras Hospital.

1930h J C R Intermediate Dance Class. 50p.

1930h

1300h Senior C o m m o n Room War Games meeting.

E

Rm408 Wellsoc talk 'Cry Havoc' by Michael Newman on violence, sex and drugs.

1310h basement 9 Princes Gdns Islamic Soc Quranic Circle.

1255h Union Concert Hall Islamic Society Friday prayers.

Southside Real

Ale Bar

Rocky 2 on video. Again at 2015h.

1930h J C R Beginners Dance Class 2000h-2200h IC Radio Shiree Baker with 'Music to accompany a pleasant evening in'.

Union Bar

Eve RSM Bar Night.

1245h

Rm 340

Third World First general meeting or 'how to run a society'. Comments, suggestions and people welcome.

2000h Lower Refec IC Ents Lounge Lizards Party with band every week on stage 9pm. Open till 2am.

2030H

1845h

1230h Union Upper Lounge Audio Soc record club.

1230h The Log Cabin (next door to Northfields tube station) Acton Venture Club for physically and mentally handicapped and deprived children. Travelling expenses paid by I C C A G .

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1430h Dramsoc Storeroom Dramsoc Workshop.

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Saturday

S 0 U h S

1400h Rm 401 R S M Microcomputer club. Membership £2.

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1235h I C C A G Office (top of Union Building) Jobbersquad.

Use your talent for others.

CND Bookstall.

1230h J C R BUNAC. Info on summer working vacations in the USA—air fares paid, and it looks good on your CV!.

£3

RCS Rugby trip to Brum University. Sign up on list by entrance to Union Bar.

1330h meet Beit Arch Cycling Club training run (30-40 miles).

1300h Southside Upper Lounge Balloon Club.

1300h Green Committee Room i SF Soc library meeting. e

B a r Live band—The Chasers and disco.

?ur)day 0930h meet Beit Arch Cycling Club fun run. Pace suitable for beginners. If your bike is in good condition come along with some money for lunch.

1000h Consort Gallery, Sherfield WLC Communion Service. Coffee will be served after the service.

1300h S C R Wargames Club hack and slag meeting.

More Hse I Cromwell Rd Catholic Mass followed by bar supper and talk by Fr Joseph Chalmers, O Carm on 'An introduction to St John of the cross, poet and mystic' at 1930h. All welcome.

800h

2100-2300h IC Radio Russell Hickman 'A unique blend of noise'.

Page 14\

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Tuesday

Pippard Theatre Sherfield Dept of Humanities lecture The Falklands Affair: The military features and lessons.

SCR Beit Wine Tasting Soc German Tasting by Loeb German wine importers.

1730h Brown Committee Room (top floor Union Building) Amnesty International meeting.

1800h

T1230h Rm 606 Elec Eng Pimlico Connection 'Pay As You Eat' lunch.

1300h Upper Lounge Southside Riding Club meeting.

1300h Southside Upper Lounge Boardsailing Club meeting. n

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D i n i n

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1330h

1230h Union Upper Lounge Audio Soc Record Club.

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Science: the Industrial =>nd the Community.

1230h Room 231 Chemistry Catholic mass and lunch. All welcome.

I OZ oO OA nk

e

u Theatre n Sherfield IDeptoOooofnUHumanities Academic

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1830h Union G y m Judo Practice. Membership £2.25; Practice fee 50p. G o o d punchup for anyone from beginner to black belt.

Hall Public meeting with discussion 1930h J C R Beginners Dance of ICU response to U G C class. questionnaire. All welcome.

I Friday, January 27, 1984%

RACE RELATIONS IN SOUTH AFRICA

1300h

Lecture Theatre IC Debating Society This House supports trade and cultural links with South Africa' proposed by John Carlisle M P and opposed by Trevor Phillips, former President, IC Union.

1300h

Lower Refec CND general discussion meeting.

A A U 1 AOOUll

M U S

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R O O I T 1

' 53 Princes Gate Lunch hour concert Richard Dickins (clarinet) and John Forster (piano).

• B H H n B H I FELIX

W COMING SOON Office Fri 3 Feb Eve Hotel Jazz Club membership.

International RCSU Annual Anyone wishing to make use Dinner £12.50. Three courses, of the Jazz Room for guest speaker, bar and disco. practising music this year Excellent value: see what real must obtar a new food taste likes after a card—pi ^e bring passport Mooney. photograph. £1 membership Sat 4 Feb 1015-1700h, available.

Richmond College, 1 St H o o n u Almonds Grove, W8 3W1 l O O U n Sherfield Southern Region Skills Department of Humanities: Exchange. Morning workshops The Compulsive on group skills, afternoon Communications. workshops on campaigns.

Bread and cheese lunch for 1730h Aero 254 Gliding Club 50p. meeting.

Sat 4 Feb 2030h Union Dining Hall Benefit Concert/Disco 1830h Union Gym Judo featuring African Connection Practice.

(West African pop from Sierra Leone) and 60s soul sounds. £2.50, UB40 £1.50.

1 300h

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1800h

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Guilds trip to Laserium. This trip to the light show may cost less than £1.75 if more than 20 people sign their names up in the Guilds Office very soon.

1900h Union G y m Judo Practice. Practice fee 50p.

2200-2400h IC Radio Alphabet Soup with Ajay. Lunacy to destroy those sane Thursday evenings.

Cromweffian ;

Entrance on: V 3 Cromwell Road, SW7.

Tel: 584 7258 (Opposite Natural History Museum) B

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Sun 5 Feb meet Beit RCSU Rugby 7s. Enter your team via Digby Holman or any officer.

6.00-9.00 Cocktails £ 1 . 5 0

Weekend 4-5 Feb ICSO Silwood Park weekend.

Scrape, blow or bang your instrument all weekend in the clean air and green fields of Silwood. Make sure you attend Wednesdays rehearsal for further details.

y

1JMDT F L O W E R S

III

Tues-Sat Tl.00-3am

Mon-Fri 6.00-11.00 Sat 8.00-11.00

Wesnesday Drinks 9 0 p Cocktails £ 1 . 5 0 all night

Cocktails £ 1 . 5 0 all niahf

SOUTHSIDE BAR Ruddles Country — now available 72p pint.

F r i 27 Jan: No disco Sat 28 Jan: 2nd Anniversary of Bar re-opening.

Live music — The Chasers Disco & Wethereds 50p W e d 1 Feb: Rocky II on video in Real Ale Bar at 6:15pm and 8:45pm.

RCSU ANNUAL DINNER S u p e r b

3

w i t h

w i n e

B a r

till

1:00.

G U E S T

Thursday 9 February, 5:30-7:00pm 170 Queensgate Names to Jen in the Union Office by 5:00pm Monday 6 February.

Freshers particularly welcome.

FELIX

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late.

S P E A K E R a n n o u n c e d

L o n d o n International

Hotel

£12.50. Tickets from R C S U , I C U S o c Reps or Jane H o w e ,

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Michael Newman has overstepped the mark this time by contacting the News of the World about the Mines Porn events.

He knows full well that the News of the World is likely to distort and blow the story up out of all proportion. Banner headlines like 'Sin Bin of South Ken' and 'My Life as a Sex Crazed Student' is something Imperial College does not need.

Until now something that could have been said in favour for Michael Newman's anti-porn campaign was that he was trying j to clean up IC's image. Now he insists on muddying our name in the Sunday screwsheets. The nfect of Mr Newman's behaviour can only be to make hi .tself, and his cause, even more unpopular.

W o m e n s

S e l f

D e f e n c e

The Union are considering running a basic self defence course for women. The course will consist of four two hour sessions. If anyone is interested they should send their name and a contactable address to Christine Teller via the Union Office asap. If there is sufficient response applicants will be notified in due course of details.

P h o e n i x

The Phoenix is a literary magazine which is produced each year to act as a showcase for the artistic talents of Imperial College.

This involves essays, photographs, poetry, short stories and drawings. You don't have to feel that you are very talented to contribute. Any original contribution is always welcome. Copy deadline has been extended 9 Feb. The Phoenix Editor, Tony Atkins, can be found most lunch times in the FELIX Office to receive copy or to answer any queries.

F E L I X

B i n g o

A number of people have asked me if FELIX Bingo is for real.

The answer is yes. There is a genuine dirty weekend for two in Amsterdam for the first person to claim a full house. (In the event of more than one person claiming the winner will be drawn from a hat.) For those of you starting late, last week's number was 4. Eyes down.

Credits Jon Jones, Hugh Southey, J Martin Taylor, Matt Fawcett, Tim Noyce, Lynne James, David Rowe, Diane Love, Tony Atkins, John Scott, Ulysess, David Jones, Peter Rodgers, Dave Parry, Robert Ettinger, Victor Mooney, Maz and Pete.

Pallab

I laid s o m e cards from a s t a n d a r d pack face up o n the table, and c h o s e o n e of the c a r d s there, the ten of d i a m o n d s . I a n n o u n c e d that I w o u l d tell Bill the value and B e n the suit of my c h o s e n c a r d , then I whispered to Bill that it was a ten, a n d I w h i s p e r e d to B e n that it was a d i a m o n d .

Bill l o o k e d at the cards o n the table 'I don't know the c h o s e n card,' he said.

'I knew y o u wouldn't,' replied B e n .

'I still don't know the c a r d , but n o w I know its colour,' said B i l l . ' N o w I know what the c a r d is,' said B e n . ' S o d o I,' a n n o u n c e d B i l l .

What is the m i n i m u m n u m b e r of cards o n the table, a n d h o w many of them are hearts?

Solutions, comments and criticisms to me at the FELIX Office by 1:00pm on Wednesday please. ÂŁ5 from Mend-a-Bike for the randomly selected winning entry.

Last week's solutions Chess and Dominoes If a d o m i n o cover s two s q u a r e s , o n e of them must be black a n d the other white. If y o u cut off two squares on one d i a g o n a l , they are the s a m e colour. H e n c e it is impossible.

In the Balance A s a balance s c a l e has two pans, then the m i n i m u m number of weights is four, 1kg, 3kg, 9kg and 27kg.

A n y t h i n g can then be m e a s u r e d between 1 and 40kg by placing weights in o n e or both of the pans.

O n l y nine correct solutions, a n d the randomly selected winner is K S L i m of Elec E n g 2, w h o c a n collect the ÂŁ5 c h e q u e , courtesy of M e n d - a - B i k e , from the F E L I X Office any time after 1:30pm o n Monday.

University Prize Crossword C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to a n y o n e w h o m a n a g e d to finish the Prize C r o s s w o r d at the e n d of last term, a n d particularly to the two winners, K C Walker, w h o works in the L y o n Playfair Library, a n d T i m o t h y Lanfear. T h o u g h neither managed to win the national prize, they e a c h w o n a c o p y of the C o l l i n s E n g l i s h Dictionary. Well d o n e !

The solution A C R O S S : 1 A r e t h u s a , 5 Evelyn, 9 L u c k y J i m , 10 A s c h a m , 12 G o s s e , 13 T h e s a u r u s , 14 Oriel, 16 N a r c i s s u s , 18 Free Verse, 19 N e m e a , 21 Trojan War, 23 S h o n a , 24 A y e s h a , 25 J e r e m i a d , 26 K i m o n o , 27 F l a s h m a n .

D O W N : 1 A l l e g r o , 2 E x c e s s i v e , 3 H o y l e , 4 Saint Andrews, 6 Vespasian, 7 L e h a r , ^ 8 Nemesis, 11 G e o r g e Orwell, 15 Leviathan, 17 S y m p o s i u m , 18 Futhark, 20 A b a d d o n , 22 O d e u m , 23 S p e o s .

Ghosh

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Rd,SW7 Tel 01-589 5111 extn 1048 or internal 2881. Editor: Pallab K Ghosh; Business Manager:PeterRodgers;AdvertisingManager:HughSoutheyCopynghthtUXl<f8J

B E IB IBB B E B E E B B

FELIX Calendar T u e s d a y

M o n d a y Jan

3U

W e d n e s d a y

T h u r s d a y

2

FerTl

31

RSMU Barnight Union Bar

S u n d a y -5-

15

RSMU Cambourne weekend IT

-+§

-W

22

23

Guilds Tap Crawl Three Kings RSMU Valentine Disco "24

Guilds Rag Mag Trip to Cambridge -25—;

Guilds Rugby 7s -26 —

"29

NUS Dav of Action RSMU Day of Inaction RCS Hustings UGM Cbem LTB Mar 1

Guilds 24hr Pedal Car Race -2

-3

Bar Promotion Week -4

f)

IC Union Hustings UGM 9

Ents Mad March Carnival 9

-ffj

-tl

Sabbatical Elections All Day Pancake Day 15

IC Results UGM Civ Eng Dinner 19

IC Rag Street Collection Chem Eng Soc Dinner 16

IC Rag Street Collection -T7

-F8

RSMA Curry Supper 7:00 SCR Southside 14

Wellsoc: Chancellor Gareth Moore Christianity & ESP

St Valentine's Day Ents Party JCR ; Dep Rep elections

ZU

71

Wellsoc: Harry Collins Parapsychological 27

Guilds UGM 1pm ME220

RCS Elections All Day

RCS Results UGM 1pm Chem LTB

12

Ents Band: Red Lorry Yellow Lorry RCS Annual Dinner 10

S a t u r d a y

Beer and Bangers lb

Wellsoc: Eric Laithwaite Gyroscopes

Sabbatical Elections All Day Grand opening of Southside Central Laundry

•3-

^

Guilds Trip to Laserium i

7

•>

F r i d a y

S

6

13

1

ji

RFC 7s Tournament ~H

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12

Lounge Lizards band: Furniture.

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Great Rag Race RSMU Annual Review Guilds Election Barnight £\

Guilds Election UGM Ipm ME220

RSMU Barnight

RSMU Brighton Trip RSMU Elections UGM

RCS trip to Amsterdam End of Term Whoopie!

p-Opening Hours-i Southside Shop M : Bookshop M Lyon Playfair m : n e g r y n Sainsburys : , :

Refectory Opening Times Sherfield M to F:

Southside Refectory all week: Union Refectory M to F:

Buttery 1030-1145 1200-1400 1500-1630 Refectory 1200-1400 1100-1430 1530-1830 1030-1130 1230-1400

Bar Opening Hours Union and Southside:

Junior Common Room:

•

12:00-2:00 6:00-11:00 Sundays 6:00-10:30 Mon-Fri 12:00-2:00 Functions

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ML

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