/1999_1157_A by Ravi Pall

1999 : e

1157

Guilds Union forced to cancel again ANDREW OFORI

President

Dinesh

Ganesarajah

e x p l a i n e d his intention w a s t o try a n d T h e i n n o v a t i o n of the C i t y a n d G u i l d s

k e e p t h e students e n t e r t a i n e d d u r i n g

U n i o n is yet t o i m p r e s s its students,

the

f o r c i n g t h e m t o s c a l e d o w n their lat-

w e a k n e s s of G u i l d s in p r e v i o u s years.

est venture. C&GU

7 November

in s u p p o r t o f B o

part

in t h e v e t e r a n

c a r run.

c a r successfully

the journey in 7 h o u r s . with

12 people

only

interest

The

took the view

Ganesarajah

places,

entertainment, nature o f

lar to t h e m a s s e s , h e n c e the m i n i m a l expenditure."

A few Guildsmen still made it to Brighton h i m t o the c a r run in their G u i l d s m o -

Photo: Archive

H e h o p e s that the c o m b i n a t i o n of

the perimete r f e n c i n g a n d then s t o o d

a strong r e p u t a t i o n a n d creative p r o -

bile . It w a s d e c i d e d t o g o a h e a d if it

by a s M r Butt a p p e a r e d f r o m b e h i n d

duction

c o u l d b e d o n e legally. T h e y f o r m e d

a w a l l a n d shot a t t h e m with a Super-

C & G Fresher's D i n n e r a s u cces s.

D e s p i t e the w i t h d r a w a l o f the b u s

a n a l l i a n c e With C h r i s C a m p b e l l , t h e

soaker.

trip the G u i l d s h a d i n t e n d e d to t a k e a

L o n d o n Student Editor, a n d arrived at

This latest f l o p c o m e s s o o n after

C&GU

w a s u n a b l e t o justify t h e cost

appropriate

"The e x p e r i m e n t a l

h e l d t h e possibility o f b e i n g u n p o p u -

Unfortunately

in t h e 7 2 p o s s i b l e

this a s a

the p r e v i o u s events a l w a y s m e a n t they

completed

showing any

find

saying

(the G u i l d ' s mascot) w h o w a s t a k i n g

antique

viewing

that risks n e e d e d t o b e t a k e n in o r d e r

intended to take a bus

l o a d o f students t o B r i g h t o n o n S u n day

winter t e r m ,

of the c o a c h .

will

make

the u pcom in g

T h e event is t o b e h e l d in S h e r field o n Friday 1 9 N o v e m b e r at 7 p m .

s p e c i a l guest s u p p o r t e r t o B r i g h t o n

M r Butt's h o u s e o n S u n d a y m o r n i n g ,

the Star W a r s party w h e r e only 3 5 o u t

Tickets a r e a v a i l a b l e at W a t e r s t o n e s

f o r the d a y - t h e U L U President. T h e y

o n l y to l e a r n they h a d b e e n set u p . M r

of a p o s s i b l e 1 0 0 tickets w e r e s o l d

a n d t h e C C S s h o p c o s t i n g £ 1 5 for

h a t c h e d a plot t o k i d n a p a n d drive

C a m p b e l l refused to let t h e m t h r o u g h

resulting in a loss o f £ 2 3 6 .

Freshers a n d £1 7 for o t h e r students.

C&GU

Newton sets out plan for an NUS free future for all SUNIL R A O

a b u l k d i s c o u n t . T h e s h e e r size o f

Many

this s t u d e n t m a r k e t h a s r e s u l t e d in

with t h e p o l i t i c a l s t a n c e o f t h e N U S

o p t i o n s t o t h e u n i o n s , i n c l u d i n g set-

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n is t o h o s t a

N U S S L r e a c h i n g t h e m a x i m u m level

are

ting u p a "Southern Services" g r o u p ,

conference for independent

of d i s c o u n t i n g that

N U S S L . Tasha

student

unions a n d those w h o a r e consider-

can

provide.

most

However,

suppliers a

student

s t u d e n t u n i o n s that

remaining

with

disagree

it b e c a u s e o f

Newton,

I C U Presi-

d e n t , b e l i e v e s that t h e rate o f d i s a f -

ing disaffiliating f r o m the N a t i o n a l

u n i o n c a n n o t b e a part o f N U S S L

filiation

U n i o n o f S t u d e n t s , with t h e a i m o f

without paying a large subscription -

s o o n as a local alternative

setting u p a b u y i n g c o n s o r t i u m . This

if I C U w e r e t o j o i n , it w o u l d

d e m o n s t r a b l y a s g o o d is o f f e r e d .

would

b e a n alternative

to the

N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students Services

paying

Currently, platform

the NUSSL

to buy beer

thirty

thousand

pounds annually.

Limited ( N U S S L ) , the N U S p u r c h a s ing g r o u p .

around

mean

ICU pliers

will

rise

dramatically

that is

buys f r o m a r a n g e o f s u p -

including

Northern

Services

December,

will p r e s e n t a r a n g e o f

or expanding T U C O .

members a n d be a viable tive

to N U S S L .

allow counts

They

I C U access

( a n n u a l f e e £ 2 5 ) , a c o n s o r t i u m set

p o l i t i c s o f t h e N U S , a n d it is

u p to serve the Scottish Universities,

commented,

"This

i m p o s s i b l e t o l e a v e the N U S w i t h o u t

and T U C O , the C o l l e g e purchasing

something

group.

priority will a l w a y s

a n d N U S in Felix

1155].

T h e c o n f e r e n c e , to b e h e l d o n 4

better

W h e n contacted, Tasha

a l s o l e a v i n g N U S S L [as d e s c r i b e d in Them

alterna-

would

also disvalue

goods.

N U S S L is i n e x t r i c a b l y m i r e d in

g o o d s that s t u d e n t u n i o n s r e q u i r e at

would

t o greater

a n d therefore

a n d other

provides

Both

o f f e r c o n s i d e r a b l e b u y i n g p o w e r for

Newton

potentially

really • e x c i t i n g ,

but my

b e getting the

best d e a l s for I C s t u d e n t s " .

Dawn of the Virtual University? ANDREW Advisor M a r t i n T h o m s o n

pro-

vides some much needed quid-

OFORI

sity d e p i c t e d l a r g e s c a l e

A n e w b r e e d o f virtual

universities

Educational

education, leaving traditional uni-

tions

versities

existing

"well

a n d truly

stuffed"

to 'Universities

in t h e

global

around

and a

form

institutes digital

demand,

universities

colleges

institutes

information will

Electronic

Thome,

V i c e - P r i n c i p a l of N a p i e r University,

those

rendering

useless.

Sixth

are predicted

(similar to

underway

in t h e

runs

its c o u r s e s

in 1 5

states, 1 0 0 o f t h e m c o n d u c t e d v i a the internet a n d television. W a l l Street h a s s h o w n a n interest

in t h e c o n c e p t

o f t h e virtual

u n i v e r s i t y , b u t its c o m m e r c i a l

via-

bility is p r e s e n t l y l i m i t e d b y r e g u l a tions.

lectures

currently

versity)

connec-

take their p l a c e .

In h i s b o o k , M i c h a e l 1

base.

develop

Future .

address one of the major

to a

is set t o c h a n g e t h e f a c e o f f u r t h e r

according

linked

Sir A l e c

Chancellor "unless

Broers,

the Vice

at C a m b r i d g e

their

government

issues of the day in the way that

discussed

M e d S c h o o l ) will put a n e n d to the

them

only Felix can.

British universities. V i r t u a l u n i v e r s i -

face to face sessions a n d tutorials

publicly t r a d e d c o r p o r a t i o n s , their

ties

will

growth

n Once

will

learning

again it's C & G Union's

and why they exist.

the vulnerability

offer

students

where

tailored

a n d when

it is

required, jeopardising the reputa-

Coursework

tion o f Britain's Universities.

online.

"The

image

s e e m to h e the

â&#x20AC;˘

be carried out

will

number

of U S

universities

h a v e a l r e a d y t a k e n t h e first s t e p s towards

of t h e Scottish

Wester University has 1 5 0 0 0 stu-

Funding

e-mails.

tic" c o m m e n t e d the c h i e f execu t i v e Higher

Council,

Education

Professor

John

dents

this m e t h o d

of teaching,

at 6 4 locations

Southern

Sizer.

con'rous

of video-

and

to operate

will b e l i m i t e d by l a c k o f

capital a n d . . . generate

by their inability to

maximum

performance

by p r o v i d i n g t h e m w i t h t h e o p p o r -

of the isolated

c o m p u t e r b u f f is n o l o n g e r r e a l i s -

O n e view of the virtual univerleiephene;

be a combination

conferencing

[universities]

said allows

Regional

and

the

Electronic

C a m p u s (Similar to the O p e n

Uni-

tunity

to build

personal

wealth

through stock options". T h e former principal of Strathclyde

University,

Sir G r a h a m Hills w a s a m o n g those u n c o n v i n c e d by this n e w e r a , a s k ing " W h a t w o u l d w e d o with all the professors?"

a n d politics of the day.

In Brief S U M M E R BALL C H A I R FINALLY E L E C T E D

T h e p o s t b a g ' S ' b a c k u p t o it's n o r mal

Last T u e s d a y ' s

meeting of Imperi-

ing that time he o v e r s a w the intro-

tative b o d y f o r t h e l e a d e r s

d u c t i o n o f I C ' s first S u m m e r

Ball.

Britain's H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n

H e p r o m i s e d t o keep ticket

levels

below

ÂŁ 5 0 , a n d hinted

al C o l l e g e U n i o n C o u n c i l s a w the

Alexandra

election

certain to house

ICU

process

Summer

successful

f o r this

year's

Ball C h a i r reach

conclusion.

After

Palace

We'll

ments a s they

that

is n o w a l m o s t this y e a r ' s

bring y o u further

Ball.

develop-

happen.

of all institu-

tions) l o o k s set t o effectively the

government's

veto

n e w plans for

post 1 6 e d u c a t i o n , with V i c e President

Roderick

Flaud

suggesting

t h a t " i t is v e r y u n l i k e l y t h a t w e w i l l require a n y of the n e w q u a l i f i c a -

I w o m a j o r films - Fight C l u b a n d

string o f n o - s h o w s a n d failures t o

tions

Sixth S e n s e

find

tion".

If c o l l e g e s

a n d universities

refuse

to accept

t h e n e w A-level

- receive

i h e officio!

any willing

Union

Felix ma\ of quality.

their

members names

candidates, two eventually

forward,

with

Heeps

the run-away

Heeps

w a s I C U President

put

CVCP BLOCK NEW

Andy

QUALIFICATIONS

in t h e

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l ,

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11 n

, L S

T e a m B o report or a v e y l u c c e s s f u i (rip ft: Bj

Sport We win everything again L-

i'i ngtoget repsBtive;, :

will

the n e w s c h e m e .

FELIX NEEDS YOU

lh= a l t e r n a t e

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educa-

n o desire

from

schools o r students to implement

"I n

â&#x20AC;˘ intent.

Turnip H e n r y , k i n g

of V i c e - C h a n c e l -

to higher

a l t e r n a t i v e s t h e n it is b e l i e v e d t h a t there

winner. M r

f o r entry

1999 . Feli

ICU Careers Fair THE NEWS TEAM

Pugwash lecture

ment in the n e a r future.

PATRICK B R A N N A C

weapons.

T h i s is t h e b i g g e s t i n d e p e n d -

D r H a s s a r d a r g u e d that if d r a -

For all final year students there are

ent c a r e e r s f a i r in the country, a n d

S t u d e n t P u g w a s h c o n t i n u e d its series

matic

few

i n life

is a v a l u a b l e c h a n c e t o c h e c k o u t

of lectures with a talk g i v e n b y D r

occur over

than traipsing a r o u n d a seemingly

a wide range of different o p p o r t u -

John

then

endless succession of c o m p a n i e s ,

nities.

Companies

lege's Physics d e p a r t m e n t . T h e title

short-term

include

i n c r e a s e i n C O 2 levels in the a t m o s -

stressful t h i n g s

trying t o find yourself that opportunity

that

helps

career

make

cross

management,

attending

section

of the

technical, financial

Hassard

t h e lecture

Change tion?'

Drive

from

Imperial

w a s 'Will Nuclear

a n d it f o c u s e d

Col-

Climate Prolifera-

o n whether

changes

nuclear

phere

to the climate d i d

a time scale energy

solution,

until

of years,

could

be a

halting the

renewable

energy

three o r m o r e years at IC w o r t h -

a n d c o n s u l t i n g w o r l d , with A n d e r -

while.

sen C o n s u l t i n g , Arthur A n d e r s e n ,

nuclear energy could provide a solu-

p r o l i f e r a t i o n n e e d n o t result, p r o v i d -

Gold-

tion to the threat of g l o b a l w a r m i n g .

ing

To s a v e y o u a t l e a s t s o m e o f

PriceWaterhouseCoopers,

the h a s s l e , the U n i o n o r g a n i s e s a n

man

annual

Sachs,

Deloitte

Consulting,

C O 2 produced

from

substantial

the reactors

viable.

Nuclear

are designed to

m i n i m i s e the w e a p o n s g r a d e m a t e r i -

N a t W e s t IT, O x y g e n S o l u t i o n s L t d ,

fuels

Cambridge

Partners,

i n c r e a s e in g l o b a l t e m p e r a t u r e , o n e

could

rate a n d g r a d u a t e r e c r u i t e r s c o m e

Ricardo,

Lehman

o b v i o u s s o l u t i o n w o u l d b e to use a n

e n s u r e that t h e r e is n o i n c r e a s e in

e n e r g y s o u r c e that puts o u t n o C O 2 ,

the a v a i l a b i l i t y o f s u c h m a t e r i a l t o

such

despotic regimes.

Fair

where the

Technology Ove

Brothers,

s e e w h a t t o s e e w h a t a l m o s t fifty o f

Chase Manhattan

Europe's best g r a d u a t e

forty o t h e r s , a s well a s the C o l l e g e

nuclear energy

Careers

material

have to offer y o u , a l l you need to do

is t u r n

between

(17

11am

this

If y o u w a n t a j o b this y e a r o r next y e a r t h e r e ' s o n l y o n e p l a c e t o

and 5pm

a n d start, s o m a k e

s u r e y o u visit t h e

C a r e e r s Fair o n

don't need t o b e a final year stu-

Details

o r have

over

Service.

they'll b e k e e n t o t a l k t o y o u . Y o u

dent

Bank and

November)

u p at Beit Q u a d

Wednesday

Royce,

T h e Army,

d i r e c t l y t o y o u . S o , if y o u w a n t t o

employers

Rolls

Arup,

a n y particularly

attending

s t r o n g g o a l s o r c a r e e r p l a n s , just

Union

the de s i r e t o find y o u r s e l f e m p l o y -

Careers

Wednesday.

about

the companies

that,

A problem

with

al p r o d u c e d . N u c l e a r

is that it p r o d u c e s especially

when

b e sufficiently

The

accountancy reliable to

next l e c t u r e t o b e h e l d is

'Verifying N u c l e a r D i s a r m a m e n t : A

reprocessed, c a n b e used to build

R o l e F o r A W E A l d e r m a s t o n ' by T o m

nuclear

M i l n e o n 2 D e c e m b e r at 1 p m . If y o u

itself

weapons. in

nuclear

This

manifests

proliferation,

a r e interested i n the i m p l e m e n t a t i o n

b e c a u s e nearly every c o u n t r y in t h e

w o r l d w o u l d h a v e their o w n f a c t o r i e s

a l o n g t o the s o c i e t i e s w e e k l y

ethics

in science,

then

come meet-

from the

p u m p i n g out material, which has u p

ings h e l d every T h u r s d a y at 1 p m in

a n d the C o l l e g e

until n o w b e e n t h e m a j o r l i m i t i n g

the

factor

building).

are available

Office

a s nuclear.

become

c r e a m o f Europe's biggest c o r p o -

Careers

causing

fossil

sources

Service.

in t h e m a k i n g

of nuclear

B C R (top floor of the U n i o n

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Advice Centre Update BY MARTIN T H O M S O N , U N I O N ADVISOR

graphs,

hard to

M a n y international (non European) s t u d e n t s m a y still b e u n a w a r e

that

as l o n g a s they d o n ' t h a v e a n entry s t a m p w h i c h states

lord, the

anything

breaks

while y o u

simply

notifying

problem.

Keep

him/her of a

copy a n d

m a k e s u r e it is d a t e d . T h e r e a s o n

It's b o r i n g I k n o w b u t if y o u h a v e n ' t

wear

f o r this is that if t h e l a n d l o r d w e r e

d o n e it this t e r m , m a k e s u r e y o u set

a n d t e a r (a c h a i r , a n a p p l i a n c e etc)

to r e f u s e t o d o t h e r e p a i r a n d y o u

y o u r s e l f a b u d g e t f o r t h e next. B u d -

y o u m u s t write t o t h e l a n d l o r d a n d

h a d t o take further a c t i o n , a court

g e t i n g is a s s i m p l e a s d i v i d i n g y o u r

notify t h e m o f t h i s . O t h e r w i s e w h e n

would

not expect the landlord to

termly i n c o m e into weeks, a n d then

you leave you may face deductions

k n o w a b o u t t h e p r o b l e m until y o u

from your deposit.

can

are

clearance

it c a n b e very

argue a case.

in t h e p r o p e r t y t h r o u g h

Similarly,

that

if s o m e t h i n g

is i n

show

that

s u b d i v i d i n g i n t o t h e t h i n g s that y o u

you brought

it t o

n e e d a n d the things that y o u want.

t h e i r a t t e n t i o n . If a l a n d l o r d

does

We're

working

o n revising a n d

they

are prohibited from working,

reprinting

they

c a n now work

w h i c h will h a v e

f o r up to 2 0

in t h e v a c a t i o n s .

This

Guide

information

o n b u d g e t i n g . If y o u n e e d a n y h e l p

h o u r s p e r w e e k in t e r m t i m e , o r full time

o u r Financial

in w o r k i n g

out a budget,

g e t in

touch.

b e c a u s e the g o v e r n m e n t g a v e w h a t they d e s c r i b e d a s " b l a n k e t p e r m i s -

Access funds are available n ow

s i o n " to al l students w h o h a v e the

for h o m e students f r o m the Student

restriction year.

stamp

in J u n e

Finance

o f this

(The r e s t r i c t i o n s t a m p

is t h e

field.

Office,

Look

room

3 3 5 Sher-

o u t f o r the notices

o n e that says that y o u n e e d t o g e t

around

permission

limited hardship funds for interna-

from

the Secretary of

State f o r E m p l o y m e n t

before y o u

tional

College.

students

can work). Therefore, y o u c a n work

Guilds,

Royal

are also

There

a n d the City a n d C o l l e g e of Science,

in the U n i o n o r in C o l l e g e , y o u c a n

a n d Royal S c h o o l o f M i n e s all have

take u p s u m m e r p l a c e m e n t s o r d o

Constituent

any

Hardship

other

kind

of w ork

without

n e e d i n g to g o t h r o u g h a n y further

Insurance

Association

which

might be

a b l e to give s o m e h e l p to students

(apart f r o m getting a

bureaucracy National

College

Trusts

in g e n u i n e

numberl).

a n d unexpected

hard-

s h i p . F u n d r a i s i n g is very d i f f i c u l t f o r

S o m e e m p l o y e r s a r e still c o n f u s e d

students w h o h a v e started a c o u r s e

by t h e c h a n g e s , h o w e v e r , s o if y o u

w i t h o u t a d e q u a t e f u n d i n g , b u t it is

experience

u s u a l l y p o s s i b l e t o g e t a t least s o m e

a n y difficulties

please

contact m e . The situation for work-

h e l p f o r t h o s e w h o a r e in t h e last six

ing after g r a d u a t i o n is still t h e s a m e

months

p e r m i t s a r e r e q u i r e d . It

and

work

can

b e p o s s i b l e t o stay

of a

course

a n d facing

u n e x pe c t e d difficulties.

o n fora

Christmas

y e a r o r s o t o g et w o r k e x p e r i e n c e o r

is a g r e a t

time f o r

r a c k i n g u p c r e d i t d e b t s . T h e r e is a

to d o s o m e t r a i n i n g b u t this w o n ' t

lot that

a l l o w e d y o u t o s w i t c h o v e r t o a full

credit

work

h a r d t o c o p e with a n d this i n c l u d e s

permit.

Let m e k n o w

if y o u

getting

have any questions.

c a n be done

debts

when

help

to m a n a g e

things

arranging

become

affordable

r e p a y m e n t pl an s with creditors a n d

h o l d i n g o f f c o u r t a c t i o n . If y o u f i n d y o u r s e l f with

multiple credit

debts

and you a r e juggling o n e debt to

You'll have to forgive m e for g o i n g

n e e d o f r e p a i r , t h e r e a r e t w o steps

not c a r r y o u t r e p a i r s w i t h i n a r e a -

pay for the other then please c o m e

on a b o u t h o u s i n g , a n d I h o p e that

you

s o n a b l e t i m e , they a r e in b r e a c h o f

and

e v e r y o n e is r e a s o n a b l y s e t t l e d i n t o

tenancy a g r e e m e n t to see whether

contract.

assists p e o p l e w i t h d e b t p r o b l e m s i n

t h e i r a c c o m m o d a t i o n a t this p o i n t . I think that a c o u p l e of things are

worthy

of r e m i n d e r ;

firstly, if

must take.

Firstly, c h e c k

your

o r n o t t h e l a n d l o r d c a n e n d it early.

If, f o r w h a t e v e r r e a s o n , y o u a r e

This c a n o n l y b e d o n e if t h e l a n d -

thinking of leaving your a c c o m m o -

mental

lord

d a t i o n e a r l y , it is e s s e n t i a l that y o u

not to lecture.

check

has a

"break

clause"

you d i d not get a n inventory taken

his/her favour,

when

s t a n d a r d c l a u s e . If t h e r e is a b r e a k

you moved

have d o n e

in, you should

o n e yourselves.

take

photographs

of the property

nice

the

while

event of a dispute w h e n y o u Landlords

deposits

claiming

d o often that

keep

students

your

because

so y o u c a n s h o w w h a t it w a s l i k e i n

leave.

a n d this is n o t a

If y o u c l a u s e , this s h o u l d h a v e a n i m p a c t

h a v e n ' t d o n e t h i s , d o it n o w a n d

see m e . T h e Advice

negotiating

position

y o u may want to be as

to the landlord getting

as possible

the repair

d o n e . If

good may

position.

Even

r e a s o n f o r m o v i n g o u t , this y o u from

If y o u b r e a k

your

a contract,

landlords c a n (and sometimes do) sue when

are,

also

in y o u r

legal

not release

contract.

t h e r e is n o b r e a k c l a u s e a n d y o u f o r example, secure

your

though you might have a morally

former they

tenants, have

sometimes

especially

guarantors.

It is

possible f o r your

a strictly i m p a r t i a l a n d n o n - j u d g e manner.

I'm h e r e t o h e l p ,

To m a k e a n a p p o i n t m e n t t o c a l l in for a confidential chat about any problem, Reception contact

b i g o r s m a l l , call

5 9 4 8060,

m e directly

o n internal

flat until t h e e n d o f t e r m , t h e first

c o - t e n a n t s t o s u e y o u if y o u b r e a k

extension

without

t h i n g t o d o is t o w rite t o y o u r l a n d -

y o u r c o n t r a c t a n d they l o s e m o n e y .

m.m.thomson@ic.ac.uk.

or photo-

Union

on 0171

h a v e c a u s e d d a m a g e . If y o u l e a v e a n inventory

Service

48067,

ICII

wsa

Quai

C O M P A N Y INFORMATION DROCHORE N O W F R O M ICO A N D THE C A R E E R S

OFFICE

Feli

1999

Nothing toifb with me? c

n g a g e a n y g r o u p o f scientists o r e n g i n e e r s

incredibly complex) p r o b l e m .

in d i s c u s s i o n o v e r a n y e t h i c a l , p o l i t i c a l o r

trust b a s e d o r e v e n I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e o f S c i e n c e ,

To u s e a r e a s o n a b l y recent e x a m p l e , if y o u

T e c h n o l o g y a n d M e d i c i n e . A n d m o s t b a c k e r s will

s o c i o l o g i c a l i s s ue a n d y o u ' r e s u r e t o h e a r

are o n the verge of discovering the terminator

h a v e f u n d e d y o u r r e s e a r c h f r o m profit d r i v e n , n o t

"knowledge f o r knowledge's

gene for G M modified crops, should you follow

altruistic, m o t i v e s , s o t h e l i k e l i h o o d o f t h e m list e n i n g t o y o u r m o r a l j u d g e m e n t s is s l i m t o s a y the

the

mantra

s a k e " r e p e a t e d m o r e t h a n o n c e . T h e i n s i n u a t i o n is

through your research. O n o n e h a n d , you'll g a i n

that p u r e r e s e a r c h is f r e e f r o m a n y o u t s i d e i n f l u -

prestige,

for G M

least. E v e n if t h e m o s t d a n g e r o u s a s p e c t s o f y o u r

e n c e s o r c o n c e r n s , that it is d r i v e n by a d e s i r e t o

r e s e a r c h that c o u l d c h a n g e the w o r l d f o r t h e bet-

d i s c o v e r i e s a r e entirely a c c i d e n t a l (they f r e q u e n t l y are) y o u r b a c k e r s will still w a n t t o m a x i m i s e their

cash

a n d the foundations

u n d e r s t a n d , n o t by g l o b a l i m p a c t o r i m p l i c a t i o n .

ter. O n t h e o t h e r h a n d y o u ' l l d e v e l o p a c r o p that

But is this t r u e ? C a n scientists a n d e n g i n e e r s d e n y

c o u l d d e s t r o y m a n y third w o r l d e c o n o m i e s a n d

profits ( b e c a u s e , if n o t h i n g e l s e , they will o n l y b e

r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r t h e i r w o r k , o r m u s t they

give

a b l e t o f i n a n c e future R & D if y o u r d e v e l o p m e n t s

b l a m e a n d c u l p a b i l i t y a l o n g with c r e d i t ?

the M a n h a t t a n

Project.

Years

a n incredibly

dangerous

m o n o p o l y . S o , d o y o u g o a h e a d a n d give M o n -

prove marketable).

s a n t o t h e fruits o f y o u r r e s e a r c h , o r d o y o u l o c k

S o , d o e s a l l that m e a n that t h e s c i e n t i f i c c o m -

later,

e v e r y t h i n g in a d a r k e n e d c u p b o a r d ? W e l l , s o m e

m u n i t y c a n d e n y a l l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r t h e results of

T h e m o s t o b v i o u s ( a n d c l i c h e d ) e x a m p l e is obviously

o n e producer

many of the l e a d i n g figures o n the project a c c e p t -

o f y o u a r e p r o b a b l y t h i n k i n g that y o u s h o u l d ( a n d

it's w o r k ? T h e p r o b l e m is t h a t , if t a k e n t o o far,

e d that w h a t they d i d , w h a t they c r e a t e d , c h a n g e d

m a y b e w o u l d ) t a k e the m o r a l h i g h g r o u n d a n d b i n

logic

the f a c e o f t h e w o r l d - i n d e e d it w o u l d b e e a s y t o

y o u r w o r k . But h a n g o n , if y o u d o n ' t d o it, y o u

r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f r o m e v e r y o n e . If t h e scientist is n o t

o f this

kind

c a n remove

the weight of

a r g u e that t h e i n v e n t i o n o f t h e a t o m i c b o m b inti-

k n o w full w e l l that a g r o u p o f U S r e s e a r c h e r s in

responsible for designing the invention, the m a n -

m at e l y s h a p e d t h e history a n d p o l i t i c s o f t h e e n t i r e

C h i c a g o a r e only a few months behind y o u , a n d

u f a c t u r e r c a n n o t b e r e s p o n s i b l e f o r b u i l d i n g it, o r

t o their

the C h i e f E x e c u t i v e f o r d e p l o y i n g it. S o w e a r e left

w o u l d still s a y that w h a t they w e r e e n g a g e d in w a s

b a c k e r s by t h e e n d o f t h e year... S o is there e v e r

to h a n g t h e b l a m e o n t h e p o o r g u y a t t h e b o t t o m

still a r e s e a r c h b a s e d p r o g r a m m e ( a t t e m p t i n g t o

a n y p o i n t i n trying t o c o n t r o l y o u r r e s e a r c h , o r

with his f i n g e r o n t h e b i g r e d b u t t o n o r t h e syringe

h a r n e s s a t o m i c e n e r g y f o r t h e first t i m e ) , a n d thus

should you always follow through o n your work to

- b u t surely h e ' s just o b e y i n g o r d e r s ?

the r e s p o n s i b i l i t y lies n o t with O p p e n h e i m e r a n d

t h e g r e a t e s t p o s s i b l e extent? W e l l , d o y o u really

everyone must a c c e p t

his t e a m , b u t r a t h e r with P r e s i d e n t T r u m a n a n d his

t h i n k that if t h e scientists e n g a g e d i n t h e M a n h a t -

have h a d a chance

to make

military a d v i s o r s , w h o a u t h o r i s e d t h e d r o p p i n g o f

t a n Project h a d f o l l o w e d t h r o u g h o n their t h r e a t

n o n e h a v e . Y o u could

b l o c k the use of y o u r inven-

a n d w a l k e d o u t o n t h e U S g o v e r n m e n t in 1 9 4 4

t i o n , by o n e m e a n s o r a n o t h e r , a n d if y o u c h o o s e

second

h a l f o f t h e t w e n t i e t h century. Yet s o m e

the b o m b .

they'll

probably

have

given

the gene

their s h a r e ,

Ultimately,

b e c a u s e all

a d i f f e r e n c e , yet

the H b o m b w o u l d n e v e r h a v e h a p p e n e d ? N o , o f

n o t t o t h e n with that c h o i c e y o u a c c e p t r e s p o n s i -

lights t h e real p r o b l e m with s c i e n t i f i c r e s p o n s i b i l i -

course

bility.

ty - if y o u s e e t h e i m p e n d i n g i m p l i c a t i o n s o f y o u r

breakthrough

research, should y o u stop your work, despite the

m a n y years) a n d w h o ' s t o s a y that they

( s e e m i n g ) certainty that s o m e o n e e l s e will r e a c h

h a v e b e e n a n y m o r e c a u t i o u s with their i n v e n -

the fifty f o u r y e a r s s i n c e t h e b o m b s w e r e d r o p p e d ,

the s a m e d i s c o v e r i e s w i t h i n t h e next f e w y e a r s ? In

tion?

a l m o s t everyone involved in the p r o g r a m m e has

In a c t u a l f a c t , t h e M a n h a t t a n

Project

high-

not - someone (although

would quite

have

m a d e the

possibly

not for would

A s a final note, there's o n e interesting s i d e b a r to m y m a i n e x a m p l e , t h e M a n h a t t a n

Project. In

this c a s e , t h e i r d e s i r e t o d e s i g n t h e b o m b w a s

T h e real p r o b l e m , t h e n , is t h e f a c t that y o u

d r i v e n by t h e t h r e a t o f t h e G e r m a n ' s c o n s t r u c t i n g

will b e l a b e l l e d with t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y ( w h e t h e r

o n e first ( w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e r e e v e r w a s a c t u a l l y

y o u c h o o s e t o t a k e it o r not) f o r y o u r d i s c o v e r i e s ,

b o m b b a y d o o r s - with o n e key e x c e p t i o n - the U S

a n y c h a n c e o f a N a z i a t o m i c b o m b is a w h o l e dif-

a n d yet y o u really h a v e n o s a y o v e r t h e m . T h e

g o v e r n m e n t . Interpret that a s y o u w i l l . . .

ferent d i s c u s s i o n ) . A l t h o u g h this is a very e x t r e m e

way

e x a m p l e , it's still a s i n g l e e x a m p l e o f a

a l w a y s b e s o m e o n e else o u t t h e r e with a s a y in

much

more widespread (and, from a moral standpoint,

research

is f u n d e d

means

that t h e r e

will

y o u r i n v e n t i o n , b e they g o v e r n m e n t a l , c o r p o r a t e ,

e x p r e s s e d s o r r o w a n d r e m o r s e f o r w h a t they d i d the scientists, t h e p i l o t , t h e m a n w h o o p e n e d t h e

C o m m e n t s a n d f e e d b a c k a r e very w e l c o m e -

e m a i l felix@ic.ac.uk.

DAVID ROBERTS

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What is

reengineering (he

THE CITY & GUILDS COLLEGE UNION SECTION

way you think

City & Guilds College Union? CGCU are back - this time to answer the one big question that students want an answer to...

or the ordinary

J o e Bloggs

don

of Engineering"

strolls d o w n

the walk-

Bishop,

way,

the thought

of City &

U n i o n President

Guilds

College

Union

- what

is i t ? T h e r e

is little

u n d e r s t a n d i n g in t h e g e n e r a l dent

populous

City

David

Guilds

1965/1966.

of what

City & Guilds College Union Reengineering TheW a y You Think

City & G u i l d s C o l l e g e (CGCU)

it d o e s .

C&G

is t h e s t u d e n t

Union

C o l l e g e . A s s u c h , it r e p r e -

u n e n l i g h t e n e d s o u l s , h o l d tight t o

sents this e n g i n e e r i n g the students in Imperial

to b e i l l u m i n a t e d .

c o m m o d i t y in is t h e s t u d e n t

for C G C U ,

a n d as

Your

academic

year

portion of College.

representa-

alter-

m e d i u m , reporting o n the

activities

of C G C U

a s well

the C & G College

students. events

Our

grow

from

strength t o strength. Atlantis - T h e C&G

Freshers Dinner, th e a n n u a l

hit

extravaganza

returns

this

w e e k , a n d future events a r e a l l set

t i v e s a r e just o n e f a c e o f C i t y &

to b e g r a d e A s t a n d a r d . A taster,

City & Guilds College

Guilds C o l l e g e Un ion. These

t o g i v e r e a s s u r a n c e , is t h e L o n d o n

The C r e a m o f Imperial

dents represen t y o u r interests a t a

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l o c a l level in y o u r d e g r e e ,

raising

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College's

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College

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C o l l e g e f o r the e n g i n e e r i n g

pro-

all students are on a

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Departmental

the f a c e o f C G C U

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see o n a m o r e d a y to d a y basis.

d e n t o n a C & G C o l l e g e d e g r e e is a l s o different t o that of a student constituency. C & G

C o l l e g e students come, to Imperi-

cific interests o f y o u r socially

your degree. eties

Club,

than

the average

o r scientist,

points

miner.

Because of

nature

is o v e r o n e

a n d several the average

than

of the lucrative

the C & G

College

industry,

students

also

C & G College

earn

when

such

a s in a r r a n g i n g

Extraordinary

provide

Club and

opportunities

explore your engineering as

Soci-

as the C & G M o t o r

C & G Rugby

Eestec

whole,

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up n e w fresher

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t h e system f o r

students

from

departmen t t o help freshers life w a s a

the settle

success

a n d is s e t t o b e

Engineering,

lege

f o r t h e next

intake. T h e

I n t e r n s h i p C e n t r e is i n t h e C G C U p r o d u c t i o n line, a n d will u ltim ately b e a p l a c e w h e r e s t u d e n t s s e e k ing

summer

vacation

work c a n

come

by a n d a p p l y f o r jobs

vant

to their

degrees.

Active

is t h e n e w " s o c i e t y

sion"

of the C G C U

Committee,

allowing

a certain

area

exten-

Executive y o u toget

involved in the particular of

rele-

C G C U

running

o f C G C U , as

such allowing you tod o more a n d getting from

of what

y o u want

CGCU.

n e e r i n g identity o f C & G C o i i e g e .

d e g r e e s , since they a r e o r i e n t a t e d towards

as well

department

activities that a r e a n extension of

al with a n A Level points a v e r a g e

medic

Buddies,

pairing

e x p a n d e d t o t h e rest o f C & G C o l -

These societies represent the spe -

a p p r o a c h . T h e type of stu-

point

CGCU

into university

a r o u n d this i m p l e m e n t a t i o n o r i e n -

2 9 . This

we have

in its p i l o t y e a r o n ISE a n d C i v i l

tated

almost

years

college, a n d to bring t o the fore

i.e. t h o s e o f City &

any other

In r e c e n t

l o c a l level at the highest levels of

lege engineers as a whole.

are

As a U n i o n , we also aim to d o

opti-

issues that

College,

Race.

seeks t o

in g i v e n c o n s t r a i n t s . A l l e n g i n e e r ing d e g r e e s ,

mat-

insufficiently d e a l t with at a

solve client b a s e d p r o b l e m s with-

Guilds

pint B o a t (drinking)

a d d e d t o o u r artillery o f services.

nature. The science degrees mise

wants

department

c o - o r d i n a t e s with t h e D e p a r t m e n -

to uncover

that

in a m a s s i v e 1 0 0

more.

CGCU

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college

a local level, o r those that affect a

does

As an example,

London

to b e i n v o l v e d

where

issues which a r e not dealt with at

opposed to medical, environmen-

mean?

other

in F e b r u a r y ,

focused, as

o r scientific. W h a t

Race

degree

tal

native

union for

these p a g e s , read o n a n d

prepare

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entertaining

If y o u a r e o n e o f t h e s e

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publication

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that

Coiiege

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bring up o n eguestion above all else

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that

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also

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the C G C A ,

links

the corporate

of C & G College for

association

is a

C G C U

Union

that

e v o l v i n g t o m e e t t h e n e e d s o f its students,

a n d as the Millennium

they l e a v e c o l l e g e t h a n t h e a v e r -

past a n d present m e m b e r o f C & G

approaches,

age

C o l l e g e . T h e C G C A p r o v i d e s net-

b e c o m e b i g g e r a n d better. " R e a d y

medic,

Hence

scientist

miner.

C & GCollege

is d i s t i n c t l y

working

different to the other

constituen-

opportunity

cies.

your

"When degree

you enter represents

industry, the

Cor-

opportunities to meet

- the

a n d know

play

it w i l l

a prominent

advancement

part the

Guilds

"Having

T h e C e n t r a l in 1 9 1 0 .

has always

Union,

p e o p l e in industry a n d elsewhere. contacts"

continue

in the University"

as de s c r i be d

The State of the Union e

By Tasha Newton, Imperial College

After consultation with one IC male (who said this column made me sound 'blonde') I am trying to sound a bit more 'nails' this week!

massively high charging - ahhh. They care in fact so much that they are prepared to wait until December to discuss us at their next pricing meeting!! Still the Imperial College A Union President is not letting them I don't need to explain again why we are not NUS, Dave Roberts did it forget that 'student discount' means discounts for students and has sugwell last time. Besides he is far more gested they remove their digit from friendly about the backstabbing gits that run it than I could ever be. We're their lower sphincter. They will now decide at the meeting whether they out and it's good for us. We're not can allow our cards direct or whether alone in thinking this - other Unions have left, some never joined! In pre- they want to produce a card which vious years there have been ideas on we could hand out for them. (That was my idea, and you'll believe that getting us together as a cohesive until you read the next paragraph.) unit. For the first time ever (we think) They fully apologise for any inconwe met up last weekend for training and talks. The most exiting thing was venience and understand if none of you guys choose to go to Warner's in the suggestion that Northern Services (a buying consortium which we use, the near future. In the mean time they take ISIC cards, which are available but that is based in Scotland) could provide a new southern division. This from STA on the walkway. Can I point could lead to some even better bar- out that Virgin are IC friendly and cheaper?! gains for ICU. r

Allegedly, Warner Brothers care about IC students. They are really sorry that they don't give us a discount at the moment and for their

This year HMV have been distributing discount cards, for ALL students. They have been sent out via the NUS to be issued 'in House'. But,

Union President

individual branches have extra cards to issue to non NUS colleges, unfortunately, the local branch's Saturday staff are slow to get the message and have been demanding NUS ID. After a very guick discussion with the man from HQ, this has all now been sorted with: a memo to ALL branches to be nice to us and 300 cards which are winging their way to ICU as I speak! HMV have also offered their sincere apologies. HMV discount cards should be available from the Union office this week, hurrah. g

Democracy! Register to vote so you can choose who runs London for the time you are here as a student. It couldn't be easier, just email me and I'll send you a copy of the slip or pick up a post card from the office. ULU will be organising hustings for the candidates, so if you are interested in what your mayor will do (or not) for you, watch this space. s

At the time this went to press things were going much better for the

IC student who contracted meningitis nearer the start of term. I have sent him a card on behalf of all the students of Imperial College Union. -

Tue 16th Nov 12.00 Services Committee, Clubs Committee Room. 13.00 A&E Treasurers meeting, Resource Centre. 1 7.00 VP Question time for the medics. St Mary's. 20.00 C A G Soup run, meet in Weeks Hall Wed 1 7th Nov 11.00 Careers Fair, Beit Quad. 13.00 Academic Afairs Committee. Thur 18th Nov 12.30 RCC Treasures meeting, Resource Centre. 18.00 Executive Committee, Resource Centre. 20.00 C A G Soup run. Fri 19th Nov 1 3.00 SCC Treasurers meeting, Resource Centre.

Student Rights as Consumers / Student Debt

NATIONAL D E M O th

25 November 1999 F r o m U L U to Kennington Park

Assemble outside ULU at 11:00 I f y o u have a disability m a k i n g it difficult to get to U L U and back from K e n n i n g t o n Park, contact K e v i n ( D P ( E & W ) ) on x . 5 8 0 6 4 or d p e w @ i c . a c . u k to arrange a place on the minibus. Event organised by N U S and U L U , supported by /'CU.

SLIDING TO SAFETY

which

is a l s o

available.

Kevin

watching

the

m o v i e s , b e c a u s e a s p a r t o f t h e d e a l t h e r e is a n This

week

Kevin

has been

W h i l e in Q u e e n ' s

in N o t t i n g h a m .

M e d i c a l Centre; a hospital

w h i c h is a l s o t h e h o m e

of various

biological

network

will b e f a r f r o m

comprehensive.

Excuses are already r e a c h i n g Kevin. For e x a m -

o p t i o n t o c h o o s e between free sports, o r free

ple: IC's halls a r e o l d , s o m e of t h e m are a b o u t

movies w h e n y o u sign up. A s a n a d d e d

to b e s o l d ,

bonus

o r r e f u r b i s h e d s o it is n o t w o r t h

the service a l s o gives free calls t o all the o t h e r

connecting them - apparently even

a n d m e d i c a l faculties, Kevin noticed that there

NTL

unsurprisingly

is n o t g o i n g t o b e i n t h e first p h a s e o f c o n n e c -

were curved black plastic d o o r s in the corners

c o v e r s pretty m u c h a l l s t u d e n t s i n N o t t i n g h a m .

tions. There a r e a l s o s u p p o s e d l y difficulties at

of m a n y o f the l a b s . O n a s k i n g a s t o the p u r -

O n e student's c o m m e n t s u m m e d up the b e n e -

IC b e c a u s e

pose of the d o o r s Kevin learnt that they w e r e

fits o f t h e s y s t e m : " W e a l l u s e it l o a d s . It c o s t s

c a m p u s e s , a n d o u r students are spread out all

e s c a p e r o u t e s - n o t just y o u r s t a n d a r d f i r e e x i t ,

us h a r d l y a n y t h i n g . "

over London.

users

in t h e a r e a ,

which

but a m a z i n g l y c o o l c h u t e s , w h i c h i n a n e m e r gency

you could

u s e t o slide

down

D u r i n g his t i m e i n N o t t i n g h a m , K e v i n s t a y e d i n a h o u s e with a b u n c h o f students. Kevin w a s p l e a s a n t l y s u r p r i s e d t o f i n d that his hosts h a d got c a b l e T V a n d w a s a b l e t o s p e n d a c o u p l e of e v e n i n g s w a t c h i n g S k y M o v i e s . Later in t h e week Kevin learnt that the m o v i e s were i n fact free, courtesy ofthe t e l e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s c o m NTL> h a s a n a g r e e m e n t

N o t t i n g h a m , but there the students have

of residence,

a n d students

s o n a b l e cost.

OUCH Surely intelligent IC students d o not walk

A Mostly Harmless Column by Kevin, a random entity who knows nothing about nothing

staircases. have

monthly charged

brilliant

deal

rental, which for a

with

ERICSSON EXCUSES

been

marked.

these

measures

taken with t h e glass

Centre

Kevin

which

c a n only

have

also

presume

that

have been taken in response

a more dopey bunch than usual.

c l o s e t o the level o f excellent student o r i e n t a t e d s e r v i c e a s is p r o v i d e d a t N o t t i n g h a m . A t I C

t o that

students

the

get a

system

is g o i n g

O h my g o d ! I C U ' s g o n e all politi-

that I C U suddenly d o e s , thanks to

"right"

cal

y o u all get

a little p r o d f r o m e q u a l o p p o r t u n i -

force

a l a r m e d , Tony h a s n ' t s e l e c t e d this

ties o f f i c e r G e o r g e C o n s t a n t i n i d e s .

wodges

y e a r ' s s a b b s t o sit i n t h e " a l l n e w "

And

thing

H o u s e o f Lords (we s h o u l d b e s o

that worries m e .

I'm r e f e r r i n g t o

i t ' s this

While

sudden

about-face

people

that

over the

c a n position

on,andyou

I C U to

blow

great b i g

of c a s h o n virtually

y o u like.

Thus,

any-

there

previously

o c c u p i e d by

J a c k Straw, Steven T w i g g , J i m M u r phy

a n d Lorna

F i t z s i m m o n s . Just

l i k e t h e m , h e ' s u s i n g it a s a s t e p -

connection

ping

newmembers of

only

difference

c o u n c i l this y e a r , a n d I C U " d e c i d -

them

is t h a t

ing"

tuition fees while students, waiting

absolutely

it's true

To comment or contribute: http://come.to/mishmash or email mishmash@ic.ac.uk

to be expensive. T h e

rents, calls will not b e particularly c h e e p , a n d

; instead

has been

in t h e H e a l t h

NTL.For a

C o n n e c t i o n t o t h e c o l l e g e n e t w o r k is a n e x t r a

lucky)

steps of the

to i n c i d e n t s - p e r h a p s this y e a r t h e Freshers a r e

c h a r g e s are g o i n g to b e partially h i d d e n in hall

o n us. Before

the edges

m u n i c a t i o n s e r v i c e s f o r I C is n o t g o i n g t o c o m e

s e r v i c e , a n d c a b l e TV.

'phone, a n answering

has noticed

Ericsson, the c o m p a n y c h o s e n t o provide c o m -

is c o m p a r a b l e

BT ' p h o n e ,

Kevin

to make

able to

o n behalf of the students have been negotiate

taken

ilar a p p r o a c h

t h e University,

provider,

However

staircase in t h e B M S f o y e r m o r e v i s i b l e , a s i m -

w h e r e i n t h e city. In r e t u r n f o r b e i n g t h e s o l e telecommunications

been

doors

else-

into

glass d o o r s a n d b a s h their h e a d s o n h u g e steel

with t h e

living

been

p r o v i d e d w i t h a first r a t e s e r v i c e , f o r a v e r y r e a -

University t o provide a service t o the c a m p u s , halls

disparate

be a p p l i e d t o s o m e d e g r e e at the University o f

Mish Mash

FREE MOVIES

NTL.

g o t so many

In K e v i n ' s o p i n i o n a l l t h e s e e x c u s e s c o u l d

to the

g r o u n d f l o o r a n d t o s af e t y .

pany

we have

Southside

between

N O

certain

stone

into

parliament. The between

they

him a n d

voted

against

ICU C o u n c i l ' s decision actually to

years I C U C o u n c i l h a s been

support s o m e t h i n g (well, there's a

ably a s dull a sthe proverbial dish-

first t i m e f o r e v e r y t h i n g ) .

w a t e r , it h a s m e a n t t h a t t h i n g s c a n

advertising the N U S march against

until

tuition fees. O h n o .

before b e c o m i n g hypocritical a n d

And which

causes

collective the

what

is t o b e t h e e v e n t council

t o l o s e its

political virginity? W h y ,

N U S national

demonstration

discussed

reasonably,

reli-

and

q u i c k a n d clear. T h e N U S , bolted

o n the other h a n d , has been

con-

your

money

A f t e r a l l , this p a r t i c u l a r

(shock) that m e e t i n g s c a n b e r e l a tively

to spend

much

18 months good

horse

a g o , so

they

were

government

t w o - f a c e d . I'm t e l l i n g y o u , T r a i n e r

h o w will g o far.

is it g o i n g t o b e t o

And

the moral

o f this

story?

m a r c h into L o n d o n now, shouting

W h e n groups purporting t o repre-

Red K e n look

"here

s e n t s t u d e n t s start

aren't they? W e s h o u l d b e rejoic-

l i k e H i m m l e r . It is f o r p r e c i s e l y this

forget

ing

reason

against tuition fees. O f course. H a n g o n : tuition fees are b a d ,

in t h e streets,

shouldn't w e ?

Well, maybe yesa n d maybe let's w a i t a n d s e e . . . .

no:

O h , sorry, I

mean "prepare and decide".

sistently stuffed full o f t h e k i n d o f loonies that

that

make

I C U h a s traditionally

horsey that

organised

horsey" this

which

very stable d o o r .

Glitter

would

T h e p o i n t is t h a t C o u n c i l g e t s

t h e t u i t i o n f e e a r g u m e n t , it s e e m s

its w a y , w h a t e v e r it w a n t s . G e t t h e

group

h e l p e d Tony t o u n l o c k

that

not that was

surprising.

Doug

Trainer

N U S president back then : a

playing

in t h e

m u r k y w o r l d o f politics, they

soon

sell t h e i r c r e d i b i l i t y f o r a f e w c o i n s . Those who

T h i n k i n g a b o u t it, t h o u g h , i t ' s

proud.

W h i l e I d o n ' t w a n t t o g et into

is b e i n g

by t h e s a m e

h a t e d t h e N U S with a p a s s i o n of Gary

? Let's n o t

march

members lust

after

of I C U Council a

political

f o r u m s h o u l d learn the lesson of Straw

a n d his mates

: Abandon

morals, all ye w h o enter here.

RECRUITING N O W ! HEALTHY VOLUNTEERS V O L U N T E E R S W I T H M I L D A S T H M A OR H A Y F E V E R R E Q U I R E D FOR A F I B R E O P T I C BRONCHOSCOPY STUDY

T h e s t u d y i n v o l v e s t w o b r o n c h o s c o p i e s p e r f o r m e d at a o n e week interval. During the intervening period, subjects will t a k e a n o r a l g l u c o c o r t i c o i d (steroid) in c u r r e n t c l i n i c a l u s e o r a n i d e n t i c a l d u m m y (placebo) c o n t r o l . B r o n c h o a l v e o l a r l a v a g e w i l l be p e r f o r m e d a n d a m a x i m u m o f six bronchial biopsies taken during each bronchoscopy. T h e p u r p o s e o f t h e s t u d y is t o i n v e s t i g a t e m e c h a n i s m s o f a c t i o n of oral g l u c o c o r t i c o i d s . A n a p p r o p r i a t e h o n o u r a r i u m w i l l be p a i d in r e c o g n i t i o n o f the time and inconvenience involved.

If i n t e r e s t e d , p l e a s e c o n t a c t : D R S F S M I T H (0181 8 4 6 1 2 2 6 s u e . s m i t h @ i c . a c . u k ) M R A M K A M A L (0181 8 4 6 7 1 7 3

ahmad.kamal@ic.ac.uk)

D E P A R T M E N T OF R E S P I R A T O R Y M E D I C I N E CHARING CROSS

CAMPUS

for further information A S A P

Feedback

FELIX S S I l IISJ

ISLAMOPHOBIA?

Jews.

f u n d e d entirely b y o u r c u r r e n t a n d

W h a t w e c a n e x p e c t f r o m Felix, D e a r Sir,

however,

is c l e a r

reporting

which

breaks d o w n stereotypes rather than I m a g i n e if H i t l e r h a d c l a i m e d t o

Mimm

Stuff

-De.

I,, hrjii

N f; ws

A n d A W ()f o r ] ,

Science

film,..'

Paul

Arts

k& B

C h r i s t i a n i t y , s o it is e s s e n t i a l that this

most widely

practised

c l a i m e d that N a z i v i e w s a n d p o l c i e s

g i o n i n Britain ( a n d i n d e e d t h e rest

is u p h e l d b y the s o c i e t y o f f i c e r s . F o r

were Christrian teachings. W o u l d we

of the w o r l d ) . F o l l o w e r s c o m e f r o m

this r e a s o n

refer t o h i m ( o r o t h e r fascists) a s

all

widely a c c e p t e d d e c l a r a t i o n of faith,

Christian

fanatical

fundamentalists,

fanatics

A l m o s t certainly not

o r extremists?

walks

some

ing

lims

goes

against

true

Christian

Fiji::,,'

be Christian were false.

o f life

a n d it is n e i t h e r

n o r exteremist.

Its

mes-

s a g e , h o w e v e r , is often d i s t o r t e d b y

b e c a u s e w e k n o w that fascist t h i n k -

t e a c h i n g a n d t h u s t h a t his c l a i m s t o

f o r their

o w n political

ends

Peter M i d d l e t o n

body

C h r i s t i an U n i o n President

that G a r e t h M o r g a n w i l l , in f u t u r e ,

to insult t h e s o m e 3 0 0 M u s l i m s t u -

make a more appropriate choice of

d e n t s a n d staff a t I C by d e c l a r i n g o n

words

the

g r o u p s w h i c h c l a i m t o Islamic b u t

that

i C U Council

M e e t i n g is u n d e r t h r e a t f r o m " I s l a m T o m l.cggctt

ic"

fundamentalists?

other w a c k o

groups

"fundamentalist", "fanatical"

These

describing

>i!

• 1.

' '

.,!•..< ,

M f rtir,

deserve

course,

"extremeist"

or they

we probably

Iran i o m

c a n ' t e x p e c t o n e . A f t e r a l l , t h e Runn y m e d e Trust in 1 9 9 7 p u b l i s h e d a

i-iarojah '.MM ,

'1s . .

L> •

'.'I, ,11 &

' '"n 11 !( I [' I ,IKll,

Hel

detailed

report

H a t i n g d i n g - d o n g battles o n t h e letters p a g e

M u s t a f a Arif

Breakpoint,

is m y f i n a l

word

ISE 1

b e f o r e they n a i l t h e l i d b a c k

down

read

WATERSTONES SURVEY

c u s s i o n . W a t e r s t o n e s is a w o n d e r f u l

t o m o n i t o r it. V i r t u a l l y a d a y g o e s b y

s h o p w h i c h gets a l l t h e b o o k s t h e

m o s t o f I C U is m u c h

without s o m e

students n e e d

Thirdly, m y letter, if y o u r e c a l l , m e r e -

newspaper

report of

a n d o n time t o o /

„'.:(.:!,

, W / ^KB

.M.;, M^M'MM

' 594 807 2 ,

111- ' h e l i x

'•ail:

c a n a r i e s , g e t t i n g juicy titbits o u t o f less s i m p l e .

some d o d g y g r o u p claiming to be

W a t e r s t o n e s is a t e r r i b l e s h o p w h i c h

ly state d t h a t a t t a c k s o n t h e U n i o n

Islamic w h o a r e then portrayed as

gets m a s s i v e a d v a n t a g e o f b e i n g o n

s h o u l d b e u n d e r t a k e n c a u t i o u s l y , not

s u c h . H o l y w o o d f i l m s s u c h a s True

campus

Lies (which p o r t r a y M u s l i m s a s ter-

return.

Briton's

steoretype

of a

a n d yet gives

nothing in

avoided that

entirely.

the U n i o n

For m e to claim should

not be

a t t a c k e d in Felix is a b o u t a s b e l i e v [* D e l e t e a s a p p l i c a b l e . G a m e o n . ]

able as G e o r g e man

Best b e i n g a front-

for Alcoholics

Anonymous.

a k a l a s h n i k o v o u t t o kill a l l the J e w -

Cheers,

Finally,

ish p e o p l e they c a n f i n d .

Tasha,

pocket o f any U n i o n official. I m a y

In fact, I s l a m a p h o b i a is not just

i M M M M MM f f i i j / V

m e m b e r s o f S h e r f i e l d will s i n g like

m e d i a a n d h a s set u p a c o m m i s s i o n

ICU

President

wide

p e o p l e like

Solbodan

been

in t h e

Ian C a l d w e l l . N u f f s a i d .

CHRISTIAN U N I O N

M i l o s e v i c to exploit public sentiment by g a i n i n g p o p u l a r s u p p o r t , in their

never

t h e m , but t h e n I h a v e h a d a pint with

p r o b l e m . S o m u c h s o that it

has e n a b l e d

I have

h a v e g o t o n a m i c a b l y with s e v e r a l o f

a British p h e n o m e n o n but a w o r l d -

is w h y s o

over the course of my time; while I w o u l d like t o start a n o t h e r d i s -

M u s l i m is a n A r a b o r A s i a n b r a n d i n g

my c o l u m n , which

many of them took offence. S e c o n d -

tle i n f o r m a t i o n - f a l s e o r o t h e r w i s e -

o n the endemic

n a t u r e o f I s l a m o p b o b i a in the British

average

I/:,

a s I d o , I'll b e brief. this

ly, t h e U n i o n f e d m e r e m a r k a b l y litD e a r Felix,

rorists) d o n ' t h e l p m u c h either. T h e

Dave,

Y o u r s faithfully,

might

Lsggst*, Yasmin A h m a d , G u s

Dear

c o n v e y a very different m e s s a g e .

o n m y c o f f i n . Firstly, t h e m e d i c s d i d

while

a n apology,

V O I C E O F R E A S O N RETURNS

extremist

and

m a y well be

but the message

when

c o n v e y is not I s l a m i c . ,1

I C U society.

(especially w h e n a n i g n o r a n t

R01

page

w h i c h is w h y w e a r e n o t c u r r e n t l y a n

of p e o p l e c a n b e e x p l o i t e d ) . I trust

S o w h y is that Felix h a s d e c i d e d

front

all o u r officers sign a

people claiming to be M u s -

Mark

;...R<w f i s h e r

i'iiatY

The C U aims t o u p h o l d Biblical

reli-

second

Vacant

1 ' . ' A M 1,1 jciii

all m e m b e r s o f I C - e v e r y o n e is very w e l c o m e t o al l C U e v e n t s .

s t r e n g t h e n i n g t h e m . I s l a m is n o w the

b e a C h r i s t i a n . I m a g i n e if h e h a d

Helen Clork

'3 •ir-c-s

former members, a n d are o p e n to

I s h o u l d n ' t r e a l l y b e w r i t i n g this. It d o e s n ' t o f f e n d m e , but it w a s a t a d

D e a r Felix,

w i d e o f t h e m a r k . Last w e e k ' s

o w n cou n try , f o r " e t h n i c " c l e a n s i n g

col-

u m n w a s very g o o d , t h o u g h if y o u

of M u s l i m s i n B o s n i a a n d K o s o v a .

F o l l o w i n g last w e e k ' s f r o n t p a g e

W e n o w see R u s s i a n l e a d e r s e x p l o i t -

a r t i c l e , I w o u l d like t o set the r e c o r d

m e e t m e d o w n S o u t h s i d e , I'll tell y o u w h o t h e real f r o n t r u n n e r is f o r t h e

ing their o w n citizens' I s l a m a p h o b i a

straight o n the p o s i t i o n o f the C h r i s -

Rector's job. H e e p s w a s close, but

in exactly the s a m e w a y t o g a i n s u p -

tian U n i o n towards m e m b e r s h i p of

the p r e f e r r e d c h o i c e is a little m o r e

printed at M C P Litho Limited,

port f o r s l a u g h t e r i n g m o r e M u s l i m s

Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n .

surprising.

Jnits B2 & B 3 , Hatton

in C h e c h e n y a . T h e s e p r a c t i c e s a r e ,

U n i o n M e d i a G r o u p a n d is

16 - 16a Baldwins

Square,

Gardens,

L o n d o n E C 1 N 7RJ

e l i x is a r e g i s t e r e d

G o o d n i g h t a n d G o d bless

of c o u r s e , very s i m i l a r t o t h o s e u s e d

College

by H i t l e r in G e r m a n y t o g a i n p o p u -

d e n t s , a n d is a f f i l i a t e d with C U s a t

Simon Baker

lar

most other U K Universities. W e a r e

Chem P G

support

f o r the persection of

is entirely

run by IC stu-

newspaper;

ISSN 1 0 4 0 -071 1 Copyright i

The Christian U n i o n at Imperial

Felix 1 9 9 9 -

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the portacabins o r email felix@ic.ac.uk. Letters may be edited for length but not g r a m m a r o r spelling.

the staff s e e m e d m o r e interested in

S T U D E N T BODIES

i g n o r i n g the r e q u e s t f o r f e a r of sticking m o r e p r i c e t a g s o n t-shirts. O n the

D e a r Editor,

Monday

before

Oof ÂŠLi /cll^

graduation, I

w a s t o l d the g r a d u a t i o n items w o u l d W e w e r e o f f e n d e d by the article

included

s t oc k

and

visited

in last w e e k ' s In Brief o n p a g e t w o of

a g a i n but to n o a v a i l but w a s t o l d

Felix. T h e a u t h o r s u g g e s t e d that no-

s a n c t u a r y w a s a v a i l a b l e o n the d a y

one

in the U n i o n with a little stall.

'had

it in t h e m '

when

L A T E N T M E D I A BIAS

rvice that w o u l d act

nal

referring to the M a t h s c o u p l e c a u g h t

s u c h luck - it w a s o n l y T-shirts a n d

First of a l l t h i s w e e k ,

in f l a g r a n t e d e l i c t o in t h e i r

mugs.

a p o l o g y to M u s t a f a Arif a n d a n y -

locker

room.

How

can

simple

card

o n e else w h o

massive

f o u n d last

academic

o a n d a half years o p e n e d , where

week's

elves?

flagship after

Well, aside

from

g r a d u a t i o n be omitted f r o m stocks

front p a g e

at G r a d u a t i o n t i m e ? If I w a n t e d t o

M u s t a f a raises a n interesting pint

JS n o w b e e n

IC to h a v e t h e i r o w n s t u d e n t n e w s -

buy a c a r d f r o m I C U s h o p o n p r a c -

t h a t a p p l i e s n o t just to s o - c a l l e d

u m p e d in f a v o u r o f o n e

D o e s the E d i t o r not think it is d e m e a n i n g to the students h er e

lead to be offensive.

p a p e r put t h e m d o w n as u n a d v e n -

tically a n y o t h e r s u b j e c t , I c o u l d d o

" I s l a m i c " f u n d a m e n t a l i s t s but, o n

t u r o u s w h e n w e a l r e a d y h a v e to put

s o , e v e n if I w a n t e d to m a k e i n d e -

a b r o a d e r canvass, to any

up with insults f r o m the rest of the

cent p r o p o s a l s I c o u l d d o so f r o m

c o u n t r y ' s student b o d y ?

the

vast

collection

available!

Let

supposedly

unceremo-

form

religion-based

terrorism o r extremism. After all,

enough

o t h e r IC students j o i n in the c e l e b r a -

b u t it s e e m s t o m e t h a t if y o u ' r e

solitary e x a m p l e a n d the m a t h s c o u -

tion

t h e r e is n o m a j o r r e l i g i o n o n t h e

running a bookstore on a univer-

p l e s h o u l d not be m a d e a s p e c t a c l e

l e a v i n g I m p e r i a l a n d not say, " O h ,

p l a n e t t h a t a c t u a l l y c o n d o n e s (let

sity c a m p u s

of in a p a p e r with s u c h a w i d e a u d i -

sorry, I C U s h o p c o u l d n ' t be a s s e d to

alone advocates)

stock sufficient q u a n t i t i e s of

ence.

s t o c k it

W e a s s u r e y o u that this is n o t a

of their

peer's

excellence

using such

places

m a i n library, o r e v e n the

others

Y o u r s faithfully,

the

those

the

exciting

aspects

Happy hunting, R S M II

S H O P STRIFE

It w a s interesting to b e r e m i n d -

been

the

ing

else.

new

intake one

Gareth

apolo-

term them

within

until

the

any

biggest

problem

Second

reviews p a g e s this year. T h e b r e a d t h

with f i n d i n g a n a d e q u a t e

termi-

a n d d e p t h a c r o s s fhe w h o l e of the

nology

music,

f a c t that it's very h a r d to f i n d o u t

filling

w h a t they d o b e l i e v e i n .

and

clubbing, is to

film, be

books

and

applauded.

for these

groups

the

B l a i r W i t c h f e a t u r e a n d the d i v e r s e

suggestion that I a m

Islamopho-

bic very

but

ture g a y a n d fetish t h e m e s .

this

change

t h e r e f o r e a p p a l l e d w h e n I r e a d the

issues

ago

s l a t i n g Felix r e c e i v e d in Prince A l b e r t

b e c a u s e as w e l l as b e i n g the

edi-

this w e e k . N o t o n l y w e r e the insults

also

ill t h o u g h t o u t , but the text c o n t e n t

joyous

this

was

worse

t h a n the c h i l d i s h

book (and

three

can't

Law

more)

sake, does

years

remember Thermody-

- s o why,

for

Waterstone's

stock. O f c o u r s e , whether or not half the s h o p with fiction

travel

t i t l e s h e l p s is

debat-

As a final point, I d o take the

c l u b a n d art f e a t u r e s that h a v e f e a I was

buy

weeks

realise, they

pity'sP

the

obvious

always

first t w o

indeed

will

they

out

patently

recommended

the

later, t h a t

not

to the

t h e n l e a v e it t o f e s t e r o n t h e s h e l f

" I s l a m i c " simply b e c a u s e they d o themselves,

sorry,

if m i g h t b e w i s e

It's

least

else.

l m

t h a t at l e a s t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of the

the i m p r o v e m e n t s m a d e w i t h i n the

e d of this y e a r ' s g r a d u a t i o n by the

how

has

Now,

c o r e first y e a r text b o o k s , if n o t h -

namics any

a c c o u n t in Felix a f e w

Imagine

religion

sinners,

throughout

sense of a b u s e or d i s c r i m i n a t i o n .

arts w o r l d

D e a r Sir,

friend's.

- a n d yet,

books.

c a u s e of m o r e a n d b l o o d i e r wars

w o u l d e s p e c i a l l y like to m e n t i o n the

it w a s

m u r d e r of

gise unreservedly. W e D e a r Felix

I w o u l d like to c o m m e n d y o u o n

graduation,

the

b o t h myself a n d

Imperial C o l l e g e .

tor's

knowledge,

S o , (to g e t b a c k t o t h e p o i n t )

A N D FINALLY...

around

c a m p u s m a y o p e n the E d i t o r ' s e y e s to

than anything or anyone

the b u i l d i n g s w e r e i n t e n d e d f o r ? O b v i o u s l y not. A w a l k

(non-believers,

history,

I C U S h o p ' s best c u s t o m e r

Sherfield

b u i l d i n g f o r uses o t h e r t h a n

best

whatever)

M a y b e the E d i t o r h a s h e a r d of couples

the

personally,

will

help

hope

your mind.

minimum should

bookstore chasing

service

expect. A would

power

that

good use

campus it's

few

pur-

hundred

c o p i e s m i g h t not be m u c h in ficCAMPU

t i o n t e r m s , but in t e r m s of

rants

aca-

d e m i c texts i t ' s h u g e ) t o n e g o t i -

o c c a s i o n is: the p r o u d f a m i l y l o o k -

that I h a v e s o m e t i m e s s e e n in the

The

facilities

ate g o o d discounts a n d sensible

ing o n , the p h o t o g r a p h s , t h e p r e s -

C&G

offered o n c a m p u s have been on

s t u d e n t p r i c e s - m u c h like the o l d

ents a n d the g r a d u a t i o n c a r d with

of this

Union

"congratulations"

number

however,

if o n e

inscribed.

Not,

w e r e t o visit

ICU

shop. A

week

before

graduation,

w e n t to b u y all the a s s o c i a t e d m e m orabilia,

i.e.

ties,

teddies

r a g - G u i l d s h e e t . T h e writers magazine of

obvious

problems,

the

various

shopping

have

my m i n d a lot this w e e k . O n

first

opposite page

you'll find

b e i n g h a p p y to c o m e to a n o p i n i o n

ments on both Waterstone's

b a s e d o n n o t h i n g less t h a n p r e j u d i c e

the

a n d the s e c o n d is b e i n g o b s e s s e d

d i s c u s s i o n s I've

with r u d e w o r d s (very clever).

staff t h i s w e e k , W a t e r s t o n e s 'he

and

ICU

Shop,

and

Computer

his past life at I m p e r i a l a l o n g with a

B e n J a m e s (not my real n a m e )

topics of debate.

graduation card. Quite a

Medicine 4

occurrence,

graduation,

common

have

All of these

especially

at a c o l l e g e o n e m i g h t b e l e a d t o

Eng

Centre

Mech

very

powerful

been

and

Shop

frequent

w a s t o l d they m i g h t b e o r d e r e d but

w e e k s e a r c h i n g f o r her.

1 1 5 6 ] . I've

[see

s p e n t a l l last

have

position on

All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President

ago

Union

bookstore),

promised

(usurping

(shock,

horror)

could

actually

So,

now

I've

finished

rant, what d o y o u all think?

the

cam-

three

where when

it's t i m e t o b u y the

next l u d i c r o u s l y o v e r - p r i c e d

text

old

Waterstonc's

establish

my OK,

H a v i n g w o n a very

prestigious contract nearly years

offer s o m e helpful advice.

so the c o n t r a c t m i g h t not b e services

Waterstone's.

e n d - w h o is this a m a z i n g girl

editorial,

to.

and-

pus, perhaps none m o r e so than

b e l i e v e but n o t o n e s i n g l e c a r d w a s

used

various

PS. P l e a s e put my s l e e p l e s s nights at

a v a i l a b l e at the s h o p . A f t e r a s k i n g , I

Bookstore

com-

h a d with C o l l e g e

Y o u r s with l o v e

s c a r v e s to r e m i n d the g r a d u a t e

the

well

stocked, competitive a n d profes-

Waterstone's,

I'm

waiting

for

%t V

f V f A Y TUESDAY I M WIN *50 CASH (COURTESY OF F STA TRAVEL) OA A CRATE OF LAGER. FREE TO ENTER YOU*

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M ^ w

week

o e g r t y ,

EEE

e s s r2 e t h n

d e a r . W e ' r e o n l y in t h e

sixth

week

of a

thirty

one

week year a n d the b a c k l a s h against

has

Felix

again.

Sadly

for

begun m e , the

reviews s e c t i o n a l w a y s to

the

bare

brunt

Foo Fighters There Is Nothing Left To Lose (Roswell/RCA)

Marian Carey Rainbow (Columbia)

seems of

this

W h a t have your heroes

been?

Actors?

Politicians?

Sportsmen

sportswomen?

that. M y h e r o e s h a v e always b e e n m u s i c i a n s . N o t your p o n c y lack of

everything

unheard

we is

review just

plain

substance

O u t s t a n d i n g scientists a n d b u s i n e s s m e n ?

and

a b u s e . H o w e v e r , insults s u c h

boy bands

or those

more than

useless

Balls to all

one-hit-wonders,

w r o n g . If t h e s l a n d e r e r s h a d

but p r o p e r kick-ass don't-give-a-shit stars: J i m m y P a g e , Kurt C o b a i n ,

bothered

Oh,

Mariah,

soon?

Mariah,

Mariah.

Back so

I'm n o t g e n e r a l l y o f t h e s c h o o l of

t h o u g h t that thinks that if a n y t h i n g is p o p u lar it must by d e f i n i t i o n b e b a d , b u t I h e a r d a n interesting statistic the o t h e r d a y that

Jimi H e n d r i x , F l e a - all t h o s e with a p r e s e n c e a n d attitude. T h e F o o

has started t o c h a n g e m y m i n d . It w a s that

review p a g e s o f Felix in r e c e n t

F i g h t e r s ' D a v e G r o h l is u p t h e r e t o o - h e ' s g o t t o b e . F r o m

Mariah

weeks they'd have seen

h o u s e d r u m m i n g with y o u - k n o w - w h o , to laying d o w n the F o o Fight-

examine

v i e w s , reviews

inter-

and competi-

tions i n v o l v i n g s o m e most

the

mainstream

of the

artists

power-

Carey

is the best selling f e m a l e

artist of the 1 9 9 0 s , h a s s o l d o v e r 1 1 5 m i l -

ers' 1 9 9 5 d e b u t a l o n e , h e ' s m o r e t h a n just a s l i g h t l y m o t i v a t e d b l o k e .

lion a l b u m s . I m e a n , w h o b o u g h t these

T h i s l a t e s t o f f e r i n g f r o m t h e F o o s is m o r e o f t h a t d r i v e n p o w e r p o p

a l b u m s ? W h e r e a r e they a n d w h y a r e they

that they've m a d e their o w n .

still a l l o w e d their statutory rights?

m u s i c , f i l m s , art a n d b o o k s . This w e e k a g a i n s e e s a n o t h e r

I r e a d s o m e w h e r e that the F o o Fighters m i s s e d the m a r k with

s t o r m i n g line- u p . F o r a start

Is Nothing

in t h e t w o f o l l o w i n g c o l u m n s

please

s e e reviews

F o o Fighters

of the n e w

and

Marioh

Carey albums - and who can

Left To Lose

set the r e c o r d

GRUNGE.

There

b e c a u s e ifs t o o u p b e a t to be g r u n g e . C a n we straight:

THERE

N O

SUCH

THING

T h a t M s C a r e y s h o u l d outsell M a d o n n a , Whitney

Houston

nemesis

Celine

or even

Dion

her musical

is u n b e l i e v a b l e .

Invented t o c r e a t e a n i c h e a n d sell r e c o r d s ; 'nuff s a i d . A n d

a d m i t that in t h e past s h e h a s r e l e a s e d

n o , this a l b u m isn't t h a t S e a t t l e s o u n d t h a t s e r v e d D a v e G r o h l s o w e l l

s o m e fairly g o o d s i n g l e s , n o t a b l y H e r o , (7/

in t h e p a s t - I'm s u r e h e d o e s n ' t w a n t it t o b e .

Be There a n d . . .er. . .anyway, s h e c a n c e r -

c o m p l a i n a b o u t th at ?

tainly Sing (she's a v o c a l r a n g e of 8 o c t a v e s

... frequency... ifs rubbish, nobody reads it?

W e kick off as w e m e a n to g o o n with the h u g e c h o r u s of S t a c k e d

y o u know ). F i n e , but t h e p o i n t is, s h o u l d w e

Actors.

buy this a l b u m f o r m u s i c a l p l e a s u r e o r

I h a d this o n my W a l k m a n

a n d e n d e d up d a n c i n g a l o n g the

street like a l u n a t i c , a sure s i g n of a p r e m i u m t u n e . T h e d r u m s

play

a l a r g e p a r t in t h e F o o F i g h t e r s ' s o u n d , p o s s i b l y b e c a u s e t h a t ' s w h a t

b e c a u s e it is a b l e to c o m m u n i c a t e within the h e a r i n g r a n g e of next d o o r ' s d o g ?

D a v e G r o h l s t a r t e d w i t h , b u t I a l w a y s f i n d t h e d r u m l i n e s a r e t h a t little bit m o r e i n v o l v i n g a n d s u b s e q u e n t l y the s o n g s a r e g i v e n a g r e a t e r

Rainbow

d e p t h . T h a t ' s n o t t o s a y a n y o t h e r p a r t o f t h e t r a c k is n e g l e c t e d ; t h e

m a n y R 'n' B superstars but this is n o t a n

sees M a r i a h

c o l l a b o r a t i n g with

W i t h t h e rest o f this s p a c e I'd

g u i t a r s h a v e a d i s t i n c t i v e w a r m , f u z z y o v e r d r i v e a n d in D a v e G r o h l ' s

a l b u m f o r R 'n' B f a n s . T h e first track

like t o m a k e a n o t h e r p l e a f o r

v o i c e there's a h a r s h e d g e t o the soft g e n t l e n e s s as d e m o n s t r a t e d t o

Broker

people

g o o d e f f e c t o n Live-In

all the u s u a l v o c a l a c r o b a t i c s but then w e

interested

in w r i t i n g

Skin.

get a s o m e w h a t u n e x p e c t e d r a p interlude

m u s i c articles f o r Felix. C l u b I'm

halfway t h r o u g h . Finally, it's b a c k t o M a r i -

r e a l l y isn't a n y

a h . It really just doesn't w o r k . S h e s h o u l d

writers a r e e s p e c i a l l y h a r d t o

T h e r e a r e s o m a n y t r a c k s w o r t h y o f b e i n g s i n g l e s o n T h e r e Is...

come

surprised there weren't two a l b u m s

by a n d if a n y o n e

released. There

interested in w r i t i n g in g o i n g

f i l l e r . Generator

c l u b b i n g f o r f re e f o r t h e s m a l l

is a s u p e r b s o n g t o l e a d

exchange

A u r o r a is i n a s i m i l a r c a v e r n o u s v e i n t o February

of a

short

a b o u t t h e night t h e n more

than

happy

article I'd

h a s a g r e a t T a l k b o x e f f e c t o n l e a d g u i t a r , Next us i n t o Autumn

Year

with i f s wistful lyrics a n d

stick t o h e r e p i c b a l l a d s - they at least suit her style. T h e p e r s o n a l a n d u n d e r s t a t e d m e l o d y of Petals is the nearest s h e gets to

Stars.

this b u t t h e rest, I'm a f r a i d , just b o r e d m e .

have

Heart

b e g i n s in typical M a r i a h style with

The

F o o F i g h t e r s h a v e b r o u g h t us a b e a u t i f u l t h i r d a l b u m , a

S h e m a y b e trying t o m o v e with the times

just

p o p p y s o u n d but a r o u n d e d o n e t o o . They'll b e a r o u n d f o r a w h ile

but ifs d o u b t f u l if all the m i l l i o n s w h o (for

p o p a l o n g t o t h e Felix P o r t a -

yet, b u t I w o u l d n ' t e x p e c t a n y less f r o m a m a n w h o h a s t h e b a n d ' s

whatever

l o g o t a t t o o e d o n the b a c k of his neck.

m o v e with her.

you.

If y o u ' r e

interested

cabins for our music meetings

reason)

love

her, will w a n t t o

at 1 2 . 3 0 p m o n T u e s d a y s a n d w e ' l l sort it o u t .

â&#x20AC;˘

Christian

Rachael

Mere Mere

Rage Against The Machine The Battle of LA. (Epic)

ICJ It's t h e v o i c e . U n i q u e , i n s t i n c t u -

RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!

a l , lively, b u t m o s t o f a l l it's f e a r -

t h r e e a l b u m s . W h i c h m a k e s m e h a p p y - a s it w o u l d h a v e b e e n a l i t o o

less.

e a s y f o r R a g e to sell o u t - b e c o m e all post rock a n d n o n - a b r a s i v e .

late,

But t h e y still r o c k .

Father

and Son

tracks

that

Merz

(Conrad

Lambert)

has a w o n d e r f u l a r r a y o f t u n e s , but

instead

around

of messing

in o r d e r

i n t e r e s t i n g , they're

Somehow,

these

Cat Stevens Remeber (Island) boys

a r e still

angry

after

them

make

If y o u d i d n ' t l i k e R a g e b e f o r e , this a l b u m w o n ' t e n d e a r t h e m t o y o u in

The

Cat's

been

hippie back

raided with

popular

catalogue

by n u m e r o u s

covers

o f Wild

has

artistes of

World

and

a m o n g a s h e d l o a d of

have

been

resurrected

modern

beat

combos.

As a

innovatively

a n y s p e c i a l n e w w a y . B u t if, like m e , y o u l o v e d t o listen t o a b a n d with

r e s u l t y o u c a n h e a r h i s stuff o n R a d i o 2

e m b e l l i s h e d t o g o r g e o u s effect.

a bit o f i n t e g r i t y r a t h e r t h a n t h e u s u a l m o n e y g r a b b i n g l a y a b o u t s t h e n

as well as R a d i o

this w i l l b e r i g h t u p y o u r street. T h e t r a c k l i s t i n g says it a l l r e a l l y -

achievement.

This

means

hear

don't

you're

bunch

always

going

of things y o u get f r o m

your

u s u a l p o p a l b u m . Lotus

begins

Calm Man

A s B o m b , V o i c e O f T h e Voiceless,

Born

As Ghosts

and

Broken

b e i n g s o m e o f t h e m o r e m e l l o w titles. Bu t it r e a l l y isn't a b o u t t h e

titles, it's a l l a b o u t t h e d e p t h o f r e a l e m o t i o n that g o e s i n t o

1 , w h i c h is k i n d o f a n

these

C a t isn't h i s r e a l n a m e isn't e v e n

his n a m e

of c o u r s e , a n d

n o w . H e g o t into

with a b r a s s b a n d p i c k i n g o u t a

s o n g s - t h e w a y they s m a c k y o u in t h e f a c e a n d m a k e y o u t h i n k w h i l e

r e l i g i o n in a b i g w a y a f t e r a n e a r d e a t h

lonely

getting y o u m o s h i n g r o u n d the r o o m as w e l l . I defy a n y o n e to listen

e x p e r i e n c e type t h i n g , a n d c h a n g e d his

tune,

before

erised breakbeats

comput-

p i c k u p the

t e m p o , f o l l o w e d by that v o i c e .

t o Sleep

Now In The Fire o n full v o l u m e a n d n o t e n d u p b o u n c i n g o f f

n a m e to Yusuf i s l a m (nice). W h i c h

reli-

the w a l l s .

gion

s c i o u s gives w a y t o c h u n k y p e r -

T h e r e a s o n they a r e still t h e s a m e a f t e r a l l t h e s e y e a r s is t h a t t h e sys-

whole

cussion, squelchy bass a n d a

t e m s t h a t t h e y w e r e o r i g i n a l l y p r o t e s t i n g a g a i n s t still e x i s t s . Further, a s

n e w m a t e r i a l o n this c o l l e c t i o n - but I

keening v o c a l . A l t h o u g h these

far

are

b e c o m e e v e n m o r e e x t r e m e a n d u n j u s t . W e s h o u l d b e a l i this a n g r y .

T h e g o s p e l c h o i r in C C

seemingly

contrasting song

sounds

disparate

elements, incredibly

Con-

and

alive. M u s i c

Rage

are concerned,

in m a n y

cases

these

systems

have

every

But this isn't a p o l i t i c a l f o r u m , s o o n w i t h t h e c r i t i q u e . A f t e r l i s t e n i n g t o this a l b u m a c o u p l e o f t i m e s , m o s t U S ( a n d U S i n f l u e n c e d )

This a l b u m s o u n d s s o o r i g i n a l

for the

rock

p o p star t h a n g , so there

is n o

d a r e s a y a t fifty o n e h e still d o e s n ' t m i n d the royalties...

Time hasn't d i m m e d the t e n d e r

appeal

o f m o s t o f t h e t w e n t y f o u r ( c o u n t 'em)

o n e w a n t s t o b e m a d e t o t h i n k w h i l e r o c k i n g o u t , b u t I t h i n k it's very

m u s i c a l g e m s c o n t a i n e d o n this c o m p i -

r e f r e s h i n g t o h e a r it - e v e n if y o u d o n ' t s u b s c r i b e t o t h e i r s t a n c e .

l a t i o n . B u y it f o r y o u r m u m o r d a d t h i s Christmas. You may have a job finding

been finding new a n d exciting

The

w a y s t o diversify

a n d there's s o m e sparks of r e g g a e

merge,

escapes

b a n d s s o u n d e d hopelessly weedy a n d apathetic. I s u p p o s e not every-

h a s recently

and

found

m o m e n t . . . He's t u r n e d his b a c k o n the

cohe-

sive.

same

r o c k / f u n k / i n d u s t r i a l / r a p style is very

much

(yes, that's r e g g a e ) ,

in e v i d e n c e ,

it, c o s y o u ' l l b e e m b a r r a s s e d a s k i n g t h e

electronica

g i r l w i t h p i e r c e d bits at t h e c o u n t e r in

but n e v e r t o s u c h joyful extent

(as t h e y a n k s w o u l d t e r m it) a n d e v e n f o l k y f l a v o u r s t o o . O f c o u r s e

H M V . Try l o o k i n g u n d e r ' r o c k ' o r ' p o p '

as it d o e s h e r e . E v e r y t h i n g f r o m

t h e r e ' s still p l e n t y o f g r u n t i n g a n d w a i l i n g . A s v o i c e s g o , Z a c k d e l a

or maybe

t e c h n o , d r u m 'n' b a s s , f o l k , j a z z ,

R o c h a ' s c e r t a i n l y h a s a lot o f f e e l i n g . W h i l e h e r a r e l y ' s i n g s ' , I d o n ' t

t e n i n g ' . Better still, y o u c o u l d wait until

e l e c t r o , i n d i e . . . (the list c o u l d

think that m a n y p e o p l e at R a g e gigs fail to u n d e r s t a n d the e m o t i o n s

t h e s a l e s a n d r u m m a g e in t h e l e s s t h a n

g o o n forever) is a b s o r b e d a n d

i n v o l v e d in h i s r a p / r a n t style o f o r a t i n g .

f i v e q u i d b a r g a i n b u c k e t s . T h e n if y o u

fearlessly i m p l e m e n t e d to cre-

d o get a c o p y m a k e sure y o u listen to

ate s o m e t h i n g u n i q u e . Bu t best

I t h i n k t h e w o r l d w o u l d b e a b e t t e r p l a c e with a f e w m o r e b a n d s like

the lyrics.

even 'folk' o r '(ch)easy

of a l l , the t u n e s a r e g o o d . N o t

R a g e A g a i n s t the M a c h i n e . A f e w m o r e that q u e s t i o n the society that

just

Indeed,

t h e y a r e in - r a t h e r t h a n s i n g i n g a b o u t h o w f i n e M i c k y i s , o r that they

Choose

long

there's a w h o l e n e w w o r l d o u t

are g o i n g to b l a m e everything o n the w e a t h e r m a n . M o r e of the s a m e

Choose

a funny

t h ere. Let M e r z i n t o y o u r life.

- b u t w h e n it's this g r e a t , w h o c a r e s ?

Stevens.

Enjoy.

good,

â&#x20AC;˘

fantastic.

Kunal

Joel

hair.

Choose

lis-

beard.

old m a n called

Cat

Ian

HHHHHHB

^^^^

Worry,

S o n g titles s u c h a s T h e

Bad

to Worse

a n d Moody

sug-

gested a slightly d o w n b e a t might hang

feel

a b o u t this a l b u m .

E v e r y o n e h a s l i s t e n e d t o t h e C r o w s ' first a l b u m - August

thing

After

ing the Satellites.

a c l a s s i c w h i l s t Satellites a n d Mr

Jones

of the f o u r u n s m i l i n g l a d s n e s -

s o n g s f r o m Satellites.

amongst

depressingly

Radiohead-esque

implied

offering

EveryRecover-

T h i s is d u e t o t h e f a c t t h a t A u g u s t is r e g a r d e d

Here

empty furniture s a l e

and

- whilst not so m a n y h a v e h e a r d their s e c o n d -

Likewise, the m a u d l i n sleeve s h o t

tled

Royal Trux Veterans of Disorder (Domino)

Counting Crows This Desert Life (Geffen/PAL)

Little Mothers Title (Island)

is n o t . E v e r y o n e k n o w s t h e s o n g s

Round

but f ew er p e o p l e w o u l d be a b l e to n a m e T h e s t r a n g e t h i n g a b o u t this is t h a t a n y

(both critical a n d p o p u l a r )

o f Satellites

any

reviews

t h a t y o u r e a d c r e d i t it as a

w o r t h y s e q u e l t o t h e b a n d s first a l b u m .

The

our

pop

stars

at the

by i r o n y .

are

end

Most

sufficiently

well

photogenic smile / grimace

/ look

contemptuous

plastered

aloofness,

u p o n their s m u g faces.

In t h i s c l i m a t e ,

praise the fallen a n g e l

for bands

Royal

believe

badge

but

Trux

who

rock

'n'

are

prepared

roll

not

just

d o o m a n d d e s p a i r . A n d in f a c t , if

This Desert

y o u listen to w h a t they're s a y i n g

d u e t o t h e s i m p l e f a c t t h a t it is e x c e l l e n t . A d a m D u r i t z ' s v o c a l s

o n the t r a c k s , this is pretty m u c h

t i n u e in t h e i r d e s p a i r w h i l s t t h e m u s i c c o n t i n u e s t o r o c k in t h e c h i l l

main

what

out m a n n e r to w h i c h we h a v e b e c o m e a c c u s t o m e d . I can't find o n e

Herrema,

includes a badly failed relation-

b a d t r a c k o n t h e w h o l e a l b u m - b u t I c a n f i n d a n u m b e r t h a t I just

existence a n d o v e r the past d e c a d e

ship with

have to c o m m e n t o n .

so they h a v e put out a string of r e c o r d s

fated r e l a t i o n s h i p s , a n d c y n i c i s m

Hanginaround

shambolic.

you

get.

Subject

mate's

matter

little sister,

Life

landscape

t r a i n e d to talk the talk c o m p l e t e with a

the

musical

t h e 9 0 ' s is p l a g u e d

h a s b e e n in m y s t e r e o n o n - s t o p s i n c e I r e c e i v e d

con-

o p e n s the a l b u m with a b o u n c e a n d v i g o u r that will

about... well... broken relation-

have you

ships. H m m . N o t o n e to p l a y if

k n o w a r e e m b a r r a s s i n g b u t t h a t y o u just c a n ' t s t o p . All My

Friends

you have any doubts about your

b o t h o n e of the best t h i n g s they've d o n e a n d a c l a s s i c m e l l o w e d

out

ability to

t u n e o f d e s p a i r . Highlife

hold down

steady

singing along

and

moving your body

I Was

A Girl

live

life. T h e

Hagerty a

many

two

and

Jennifer

notoriously

narcotic

unlistenable

and

you 'Veterans of Disorder

is r o c k ' n ' r o l l in

the truest s e n s e of that m u c h

maligned

with

word.

s e e s Trux

is just a r i d i c u l o u s l y

drawl

brings together a stellar a r r a n g e m e n t

p e r f e c t l y v o i c e d l y r i c s . F i n a l l y / Wish

girl/boyfriend.

in w a y s t h a t

a way

Trux, N e i l

dubbed

d e p r e s s i o n o v e r o t h e r similarly

c a t c h y t u n e e v e n if it d o e s g o o n f o r h o u r s .

T h e first h a l f o f V O D and

snarl

their

way

through

c l u t c h of g l o r i o u s l y f u c k e d u p , raw

and

dirty m i n i m a s t e r p i e c e s , every o n e

suf-

O n e t h i n g I d i d n o t i c e h o w e v e r is t h a t t h e r e a r e a c o u p l e o f t r a c k s

fused

and

great b l u e s m u s i c i a n s a n y h a r m

w h i c h s e e m t o h a v e b e e n h e a v i l y i n f l u e n c e d by B e n F o l d s F i v e .

attitude i d e n t i f i a b l e as the real d e a l . As

(or R a d i o h e a d , f o r that matter),

M r s Potters

a n d there a r e a c o u p l e of g e n -

by B e n F o l d s - b u t t h e s t r a n g e ( a n d g r e a t ) t h i n g is t h a t t h e y

H a v i n g s a i d this, T h e Little M o t h ers' o u t l o o k o n life n e v e r d i d the

uinely

good

tracks

a l b u m ; If Love's What

You

this

Want

Lullaby

a n d Colourblind

b o t h ( e s p e c i a l l y Colourblind)

really c o u l d h a v e b e e n

Both

written would

be a m o n g the best t r a c k s o n the a l b u m

- an

acoustic what?

tune

Lyrics

about... aside,

the

Friends

"All my friends a n d lovers l e a v e

m e a l o n e t o try a n d h a v e a little f u n " b u t I r e a l l y w o u l d n ' t m i n d if I

m u s i c a l a r r a n g e m e n t m a k e this

h a d t h i s t o l i s t e n t o o n m y s t e r e o . O r at l e a s t I w o u l d n ' t a p a r t

a g o o d r e c o r d f o r late at night -

the f a c t that I really w a n t to g o to that party o n Friday n i g h t . . .

from

well,

or when

you

w a k e u p y o u r d r e a m s will h a v e t u r n e d y o u into a s h i v e r i n g n e u rotic pile of r u b b l e . O u c h .

â&#x20AC;˘

( o r Satellites]

then you probably won't

t h i s e i t h e r , b u t if l i k e m e y o u l o v e d t h e m , t h e n y o u r m o n e y already

should

b e o u t o n t h e r e c o r d s h o p s c o u n t e r . This D e s e r t Life is a n

a l b u m that only the tasteless s h o u l d miss.

Mart

experimental

not

Tim

squawking

our

see

swagger

asses,

the

racket.

Money

but

and even

beauty We

have

the now

r e a c h e d t h e p o i n t a t w h i c h t h i n g s start to s e l f - d e s t r u c t . without

indulgent If y o u d i d n ' t l i k e August

in w h i c h t h e Trux g e t a bit a t o n a l

done

just m a k e sure y o u haven't e a t e n cheese

kind

t i m e p r o g r e s s e s w e r e a c h Lunch

hard It's p o s s i b l e t h a t a s in All My

the

t h e m o s t d i m r i g h t w i n g e r w o u l d f i n d it

a n d a c t u a l l y s o u n d better with Duritz's v o c a l s .

b e i n g p e r h a p s the best e x a m p l e

guess

with

The a l b u m could have a

teeth

f i n a l e w h i c h is Sickass wake yes,

grindingly

seven-minute

such

shambolic)

guitar

Dog,

joyous, piece

selfsolo

b u t in t h e

unholy rock

'n'

(and roll

this s e e m s like a m i n o r c o m p l a i n t .

â&#x20AC;˘

The

Masked

Bandit

frequency Bob Marley feat. Lauryn Hill Beck Turn Your b'ghis Down Low Sexxlaws (Columbia) (Geffen) The

granddaddy

ganj

greets

Woodbine Mound of Venus (Domino)

Blackalicious Deception (Mo Wax)

B e c k w a s d i a g n o s e d at f o u r t e e n a s

once

chronically unable to release a w e a k

S u r e l y a f t e r just h e a r i n g M y s i n g l e of the w e e k ! T h e s i m p l e

the n a m e , a n y t h i n g o n this C D h a s t o b e a n

m o r e from b e y o n d the

single, a n d so far no cure has been

story h a s a t a l e n t e d M C w h o l o s e s

g r a v e , v i a a Lauryn Hill

found.

the

c o v e r / r e m i x . It's a c l a s -

m o s t m u l t i - f a c e t e d o f his s y m p t o m s .

sic t u n e , with a simple

guitar,

lovely

Sexxlaws

latest

u p t h e u s u a l f a r e o f lyrics

Backing

o n Hill's R & B k e y b o a r d

demo

Hansen's

Then

The

Walrus,

we find

extraordinarily

anticlimax!

Y a ) , g o e s t h r o u g h h e l l (Pt.

2, Turmoil), a n d has to

rediscover

his r o o t s (Pt. 3, Redemption) have

this

kick-ass

the

floor

s o o o dark! Enough

pleasure

sung

the s h e e r l e s b i a n s h o w -

is just

said.

keep

â&#x20AC;˘

true t o the v i b e , unlike

a n d a g o n y . P l e a s u r e at

agony,

t h e rest o f t h e t u n a g e

Wood-

Tracks

infec-

and 3

Bu t

b i n e left m e w r i t h i n g o n

and

the most

the run-of-the-mill hipdross

Money

tious d a n c i n g record of 1 9 9 9 .

pop

Let

refrain w h i c h h o o k s y o u like c r a c k ,

the taste to pick s o m e and

Change

1, Don't

polished

production

tasty

spawns

(Pt.

plot

that M r .

a g a i n , at l e a s t s h e h a s

thing

and

catchier a n d more nonsensical than /

wasted

remix.

is t h e

music

well,

and mild

embarrassment

words

'mound

Venus, ask me to play',

which

p l a g u e s o u r charts

and

'don't

with

some

g o to b e d wet

head

w h o s e n a m e is F r e d ' .

Shack Pull Together (Sony)

Thunderbugs It's About Time You... (Epic) It's t h e b a n d

with t h e

lead singer w h o thinks she's s e d u c t i v e

because

Puff Daddy Best Friend (Arista)

Robbie Williams She's The One / It's Only Us (EMI)

With

she's w e a r i n g i n t e l l e c t u al glasses.

The follow

up to the mind burrowing

Friends

tragic; backing

Forever

even

has

vocals

' d o o p doo'. Please.

chorus

the

formula

both and epic

W h e n a m a n with a b o t t o m lip w o r -

Embrace,

f r o m the bo y wonder.

thy o f a r a m p o n Tony Hawk's

and

h o w g o o d She's The One

i s , a n d it is

Skate-

verse,

combines

Spiritualized T h i s is n o t h i n g b u t a m o n e y - s p i n n e r matter

hurried

the

made

l o u d with a lot o f

harmonies.

They

even

board

Challenge

truly b e a u t i f u l , e v e r y o n e a l r e a d y h a s

talent

the

e n g a g e J e n n i f e r L o p e z , y o u k n o w he

b u t s a d l y , they a r e l a c k -

presum-

m u s t b e d o i n g s o m e t h i n g right, b u t

ing

this is n o t it.

individuality

album.

he's

t o g e t h e r with It's Only ably

album.

taken

Entertain

from

the

third

A l t h o u g h it's f r o m t h e s a m e

t e a m a s Old Before

The

lumped

Us,

I Die a n d Let Me

You, it c l e a r l y isn't a s g o o d .

result

package

of two

his

musical

manages

This s o n g is a l l a b o u t

friendship

although

a n d the

peanut

that's

with

God,

admirable,

and

manage

t o p u l l it off,

the c h a r a c t e r they

and need

to g a i n c r e d i b i l i t y .

it's n o t

m u c h of a c o m p l i m e n t ; i m a g i n e h o w annoyed

.Singles

y o u ' d b e if y o u r g i r l f r i e n d

s o n g s , the theory b e i n g two halves

b o u g h t y o u a t o k e n of her love for

make a whole.

you a n d gave her some used socks.

Dave

reviews &

Kier...

frequency

A IIS

1 Chill, it's Will, Keepin' it Real and if s Mil using the skill to kill

Montel Jordan Get It On (Def Jam)

Will Smith (Columbia)

F r o m t h e m a n t h a t g a v e us

W h a t ' s u p I C ! W e ' r e g o n n a run t h r o u g h the latest news a n d h a v e a q u i c k

This H o w W e D o It, this n e w

g l a n c e at the singles that a r e d o i n g it, but first u p I'm g o n n a h a v e a s e r i o u s

a c a l l y titled n e w a l b u m . This f o l l o w u p t o B i g

release

m o a n a b o u t the state o f the U K s c e n e .

Willie

from

Montell

will

T h e m a n in b l a c k is b a c k with this e g o m a n i -

Style

is a c o l l e c t i o n of f u n k a n d 8 0 ' s

g r o o v e - i n s p i r e d t u n e s that a r e g u a r a n t e e d t o

not s u r p r i s e a n y of his f a n s . T h e p r o b l e m with t h e U K s c e n e is that there a r e n o p r o b l e m s with the U K

pack the d a n c e

comprises

s c e n e , it's really p e r f o r m i n g at t h e m i n u t e . S o m e of the tunes that a r e b e i n g

tracks c a n d o this). O n e t h i n g that

of s o m e phat tunes a s s o c i -

r e l e a s e d a r e a c t u a l l y g o o d e n o u g h to b l o w a w a y the s o - c a l l e d o r i g i n a t o r s

dear

ated

The

first s e c t i o n

f l o o r (though

not all the comes

is t h e definite o l d s k o o l f l a v a to the

Montell.

Check

of R & B , t h e A m e r i c a n s . T h e British stuff that's b e i n g r e l e a s e d h a s a v i b e a n d

w h o l e a l b u m . Tracks o n this a l b u m

o u t t h e t r a c k G e t It

Tonight.

a g l o s s that is as g o o d a s a n y t h i n g they c o u l d b r i n g o u t , but then w h y is

q u i t e a f e w g u y s : K - C i , Lit K i m , Slick

This will certainly b e b i g in

British R & B still l o o k e d at in a n e g a t i v e way. S o m a n y p e o p l e refuse t o

K o o l M o D e e , D r u H i l l , his wife J a d a Pinkett

t h e c l u b s . T h e hits just k e e p

b e l i e v e that Beverly Knight's a l b u m c o u l d stand o n the s a m e level a s a M a r y

Smith

Everybody

J a l b u m ; I'm sorry but it c a n . In fact the t h i n g ' s g o t m o r e b o u n c e t h a n M a r y ' s

ryders,

to the futuristi-

by a g o o d m i l e . S o what's the p r o b l e m ? P e o p l e a r e h o o k e d u p o n the a

s c r a t c h i n g he is a b l e t o d o w e l l . (Half o f t r a c k

with

on coming from

(Get

Down)

cally

The

slows more

Can't

sounding

Enough.

second the

down

a n d even

Get

belief that the phattest stuff c a n o n l y c o m e f r o m t h e S t a t e s . . . well p e o p l e

better r e c o g n i s e , U K R & B is m o v i n g u p o n the right side a n d w e all better

scratching).

the first l a d y

Eve. Jazzie

half

beat

soulful tracks

feature

is J a z z i e

Jeff

Rick,

of the ruff

is b a c k

with

r i p p i n g it u p with s o m e

the

dope

c o m e correct .

oozing

T h e first c o u p l e of tracks a r e y o u r party jams

sensuality. That said quite a

T h e S p i c e G i r l s h a v e m a d e b r e a k i n g u p the latest thing to d o , f o l l o w i n g o n

(the o n e s m e a n t t o p a c k t h e floor). F r o m the

few t r a c k s in this s e c t i o n a r e

f r o m t h e m a n d the s o - c a l l e d d i s i n t e g r a t i o n o f Blackstreet, w e h a v e A n o t h -

first

concerned

er Level. It s e e m s that o n e o f the boys thinks he'll d o better o n his o w n a n d

r e l e a s e n o w with a s l a m m i n g v i d e o , t o the

with

relationships.

uncertain

Despite

this,

there a r e s o m e s o n g s f o good

and

Will

currently

general

is r e a d y t o hit the r o a d . It's b e e n c o n f i r m e d that W a y n e , the b l a c k guy, y o u

Latino La Fiesta

k n o w , the o n e w h o c a n s i n g , is g o n n a b e b r e a k i n g u p with his b u d d i e s a n d

these s o n g s will k e e p y o u m o v i n g t o the beat.

( e v e r y o n e is g o i n g S p a n i s h ) ,

grind.

d o his o w n t h a n g . He's g o n n a finish off all his duties with A n o t h e r Level with

Tracks worth listening to a r e

their c u r r e n t hit " B o m b d i g g y " b e f o r e e m b a r k i n g o n w h a t he h o p e s is g o i n g

Afro Angel

to b e a fruitful s o l o career. T h e rest o f the boys g o t t a b e h o p i n g he f u cks

J a d a laying d o w n s o m e s p o k e n w o r d . The

very s e n s u a l D o Y o u ? M o n -

u p , but s o m e h o w I d o u b t it, b e c a u s e he's a l r e a d y g o t the m a s t e r d o n p r o -

real ' o l d s k o o l ' t r a c k s a r e next, c a s t i n g y o u r

tell a l s o d o e s a v e r y

good

d u c e r lin ed u p to start w o r k o n his a l b u m . . . n o n o t f u c k i n g Puff D a d d y . . .

m i n d b a c k in t i m e t o w h e n Slick Rick a n d Biz

Phi!

the D a r k c h i l d R o d n e y Jerkins is s u p p o s e d l y willing t o d o p r o d u c t i o n duties

M a r k i e w e r e at the t o p o f t h e g a m e . A n inter-

for Wayne .

esting t r a c k o n this a l b u m is Potnas

Let's

bump

single

Cuddle

cover Collins

the

and

the

classic

Against

track

Al!

Smith

Odds.

s l o w s t h i n g s d o w n just a little with

experiments

with

where M r

D M X of the ruff

A f t e r the B o b M a r l e y d u e t with the multi-talented M i s s Hill it s e e m s o n e of

ryders' flow. H e d o e s o k a y b u t he s h o u l d stick

the b i g g e s t stars o f rap is g o n n a b e m a k i n g his p r e s e n c e felt f r o m b e y o n d

to w h a t he h a s ' pe r f e c t e d .

influ-

the g r a v e . Biggie's b a c k ! T h e m a n is w e i g h i n g in with a n o t h e r post d e a t h

e n c e , to the p o i n t w h e r e t h e

a l b u m . Like T u p a c it s e e m s that there is n o limit to the r e c o r d s that c a n b e

O v e r a l l , Willennium

second version

p u l l e d o u t of the b a g , not that that's a b a d t h i n g . In the past, I've g o n e o n

many

ish. N o t b a d !

a b o u t the n u m b e r o n guests that turn u p o n p e o p l e ' s a l b u m s , well the n e w

a l b u m with a variety of t r a c k s u s i n g different

B i g g i e a l b u m , " B o r n A g a i n " , h a s g o t m o r e b i g n a m e stars t h a n the H o l l y -

styles. T h e m a i n g r u m b l e is that s o m e w o u l d

O v e r a l l , a very g o o d a l b u m

w o o d . Puff D a d d y , Li! K i m , 2 P a c , Busta R h y m e s , S n o o p D o g g , M o b b D e e p ,

a r g u e Will's f l o w as b e i n g t o o c o m m e r c i a l

that s h o u l d h a v e a p o s i t i o n

E m i n e m , M e t h o d M a n , R e d m a n , M i s s y ' M i s d e m e a n o r ' Elliot, Ice C u b e , DJ

a n d d o w n r i g h t w h a c k . T h a t m a y b e true but

in y o u r m u s i c a l c o l l e c t i o n .

Premier, C l a r k Kent a n d a n y o n e else y o u c a n think of, they're all t h ere . T h e

y o u can't stop this g u y s t a c k i n g c h i p s with his

first s i n g l e " D e a d W r o n g " h a s a l r e a d y b e e n d o i n g the r o u n d s o n i m p o r t .

f l o w s o don't p l a y a h a t e .

The

Time

song has a

Once

Upon

Spanish

is in S p a n -

Milen

is a v e r a g e , w i t h o u t as

j a m s a s Big Willie

Style

but a n O K

inO

Ram Trilogy Parly @ The End ..if you like it hard...

ClubOne @ YenueTwo

Recommended Clubbing

S o m e c l u b nights m a n a g e t o s t a n d o u t

W i t h the recent o p e n i n g of h o m e a n d F a b r i c , the E n d c o u l d h a v e

This

from

It's

f o u n d itself struggling to k e e p u p . H o w e v e r , Friday night p r o v e d

i m p r e s s i v e , s o t a k e y o u r p i c k f r o m this veritable box of delights.

others

with

effortless

ease.

line-up,

that this v e n u e a n d the g e n r e of d r u m a n d bass c a n still get the

n o t h i n g t o with t h e v e n u e w h e r e they

punters i n . This w a s a ' r o a d b l o c k ' event with the c l u b a l m o s t full

are held a n d nothing whatsoever to d o

to c a p a c i t y by m i d n i g h t .

n o t h i n g t o d o with t h e i r D J

week's

selection

Monday 15th

than

November

Boom or Bust @ The Project; £4

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T h e first c o u p l e o f sets in the m a i n r o o m w e r e g o o d without r e a l -

Fat

shoulders a b o v e others a r e all a b o u t

ly getting the c r o w d j u m p i n g , p l a y i n g m u s i c that a n y o n e c a n e a s -

flavours

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the v i b e . T h e y s e e m t o c a p t u r e t h e s p i r -

ily get a h o l d of. T h e l o u n g e w a s a m o r e laid b a c k affair with d r u m

changed

n a m e s l o a d s , but remains a

it o f t h e h o u s e party a n d t r a n s p o r t this

a n d bas s b e i n g p l a y e d first u p , but not the real h e a v y bass line

quality night out.

heavenly a t m o s p h e r e directly to a c l u b

stuff, c o m p l e m e n t i n g the h a v o c b e i n g c r e a t e d in the m a i n r o o m .

Thursday

v e n u e . Last S a t u r d a y ' s C l u b O n e

It then s w i t c h e d t o h i p h o p b e f o r e finishing with s o m e c h i l l e d o u t

The Beginning @ The End; £3

b r e a k s a n d beats.

T h i s n i g h t is a p r o p e r p a r t y s o m a k e

night

w a s a p e r f e c t e x a m p l e o f this.

Tony

the

decks

most.

18th

with

This

club

has

November

sure you're d r e s s e d u p . DJs o n rotation Put o n b y a g r o u p o f p e o p l e

clearly

Enter Roni Size o n the d e c k s , in the m a i n r o o m . H i s r e p u t a t i o n

include Brandon

m o r e i n t e r e s t e d in h a v i n g a g o o d t i m e

p r e c e d e s h i m with m a i n r o o m getting p a c k e d o u t to the p o i n t that

A l e x P a n d t h r e e q u i d f o r this is m o r e

ClubOne

it w a s a l m o s t i m p o s s i b l e to m o v e . H e p l a y e d a n excellent set with

than a bargain.

night f o r

a mixture o f jazzy b r e a k s , v o c a l tunes a n d bas s heavy d u b p l a t e s .

Friday

m o r e t h a n just t h o s e o u t f o r a b i g o n e .

H e really d i d get the c r o w d g o i n g a n d the p r e s e n c e o f M C D y n a -

Varsity @ 2 New Burlington Street; £8

W i t h a t e c h n o - t r a n c e m i x in t h e m a i n

mite only a d d e d to e x p e r i e n c e .

than

impressing

proved

anybody,

to be a n excellent

19th

Block, Streetboy a n d

November

E x - c l u b s c e n e w r i t e r J o P u b l i c is a r e s i -

r o o m a n d e c l e c t i c m i x o f b e a t s in t h e

dent

this

new

coming

N e x t u p c a m e the h ig h lig ht of the night. A n d y C c a m e t o the d e c k s

garage

mystical

with c r o w d at b o i l i n g point. N o w t o t h o s e o f y o u that don't k n o w ,

e a c h w e e k f r o m s o m e of the best L o n -

experience

music

rarely

club. There

and

b a c k r o o m , c l u b b e r s were treated to a

are g o o d

s e r v e d in t h e m o r e m a i n s t r e a m c l u b s .

R a m r e c o r d s is A n d y C s l a b e l a n d s o y o u w o u l d expect this set

d o n r a d i o stations.

F r o m p e o p l e d a n c i n g like n o o n e w a s

to b e s p e c i a l . H e didn't d i s a p p o i n t . H e p l a y e d a t e c h n i c a l l y a m a z -

Saturday

w a t c h i n g t o t h o s e just sitting a r o u n d o n

i n g set, r u n n i n g mixes at length a n d c o n s t r u c t i n g the set w e l l . H e

Fabric @ Fabric; £12

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November

the f l o o r c h i l l i n g o u t , this w a s a h o u s e

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F a b r i c ' s in t h e s e listings a g a i n ! Sorry f o r

party in a c l u b a n d t h e v i b e w a s c l e a r

the o d d blast f r o m the past- y o u didn't k n o w w h i c h w a y he w a s

the r e p e t i t i o n , b u t this really is a brillian t

for all to see. Indeed, as o n e w a l k e d

g o i n g t o t a k e it next. S o m e might h a v e felt that his set w a s m a y b e

c l u b . This w e e k sees Felix f a v o u r i t e A s h -

a r o u n d a f e e l i n g that e v e r y o n e

t o o bas s heavy, but the nutters in the c r o w d w e r e f e e l i n g it h a r d ! ! !

knew

e a c h other s e e m e d to o o z e f r o m every

ley B e e d l e in r o o m 3 , a n d this surely will b e a stormer.

N e x t u p o n the d e c k s w e r e the highly a c c l a i m e d p r o d u c e r s , e d -

Sonic Mook Experiment @ Scala; £8

rush & o p t i c a l - they p l a y e d a g o o d set a l t h o u g h it w a s a little anti-

Held

c l i m a c t i c after the m a y h e m that p r e c e d e d it. R a n d a l l c l o s e d the

M o o k is a n i g h t g e t t i n g b e t t e r a l l t h e

a r e s o m e t h i n g o f a rarity, a s t h e y o n l y

night off with a tight set m i x i n g the b-line styles with the m o r e

t i m e . T o n i g h t s e e s t h e w o n d e r f u l Psyco-

s e e m t o a p p e a r e v e r y f e w m o n t h s with

e x p e r i m e n t a l stuff.

Sadly

t h o u g h , these

ClubOne

nights

little p r o m o t i o n . Yet it is m a y b e infrequency

that

keeps

the

vibe

in a

converted

Sonic

nauts get groovy, s o d o y o u really w a n t

this

to miss out?

A l l in all a g o o d night w a s h a d by a l l , with a b r o a d s p e c t r u m of

alive, a n d the p e o p l e present s o s p e -

d r u m a n d bas s c a t e r e d for. T h o s e of y o u that a r e interested, there

To have your club added

c i a l . A n d this is w h y this c l u b is n o t

m a n y m o r e d r u m a n d bass nights f r o m n o w to the e n d of the y e a r

invite

c a l l e d C l u b O n e a n d w h y it is n o t h e l d

at the E n d . It's still a w i c k e d v e n u e - pretty m o d e r n with a b o d y

we like it we'll

at V e n u e T w o . Sorry.

s h a k i n g s o u n d system. W a t c h o u t F a b r i c , the E n d isn't d e a d yet.

e-mail:

James

cinema,

Gov

phone:

us along,

we'll

to this list just

check

put it

it out and if

down

felix@ic.ac.uk 020 7594

8072

ask for

James

A What's on at ICU Cinema This Week

Brokedown Palace Competition

As you can tell from the screen pages there are some good films in cinemas out there. Our very own ICU Cinema is no different. This week they boost a fantastic line up for you to feast your eyes upon. Films that are being shown this week are 'Mickey Blue Eyes', 'Shakespeare in Love and 'Saving Private Ryan'.

This week the Odeon Kensington have five pairs of tickets for e to give away. As well as these tickets we have a cd of the soundtrack including tracks from Audioweb and Asian Dub Foundation to give to one lucky winner,

y stars Hugh Grant, James Caan and Jeanne Tripplehorn in this romantic comedy about love, fine art and The Mob. Michael Felgate (Hugh Grant), an elegant, debonair Englishman who runs an auction house in New York, is head-over-heels in love for the first time in his life. After only three months of dating his beautiful girlfriend Gina (Jeanne Tripplehorn), Michael gathers up his courage and proposes marriage. But, to Michael's shock, Gina declares that, though she loves Michael very much, she can never marry him. Michael doesn't give up easily and ends up getting involved with the Mob curtesey of Gina's father (James Caan). g is about World War II, which was a pivotal event of the 20th century. It shifted the borders of the globe. It forever changed those who lived through it, and shaped generations to come. It has been called "the last Great War." Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) is ordered to take his squad behind enemy lines on a dangerous mission to find and retrieve one man: Private James Ryan (Matt Damon). This film deals with difficult issues such as sacrifice and death..

Brokedown Palace is a story about two high schoolers Alice (Claire Danes) and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) who go to Thailand for a megaholiday to celebrate their graduation. From there they plan to go to Hong Kong but drugs get found in their bags so instead the end up in a Thai jail also known as a brokedown palace. Hank (Bill Pullman) is their lawyer who tries to get them out. The Odeon is at the far end of High Street Kensington and the number 9 and 1 0 buses will take you down there for a small charge. These buses go from the park side of the Albert Hall, So now you know how to get there all you have to do is answer a question, I realise that last weeks question didn't go down too well and that IC students don't want to think up interesting answers they just want an excuse to surf the web. Well if this is the case then here is this week's question: n

Answers to ber.

before noon on Wednesday 1 7 Novem-

Shakespeare is a brilliant comedy starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ralph Fienes. Set in the late 1 500's, Shakespeare has writer's block and is struggling to finish his latest piece of work. He needs inspiration, enter the lovely Gwyneth, to help him get over the block. This movie is amazing but don't expect factual historical detail. This film boasts a fine English supporting cast with Dame Judi Dench and the guys from the Fast Show. A must see for everyone.

The people that made the effort to enter last weeks competition and win a pair of tickets each are:

There has been some confusion with the prices at the cinema. You don't need to be a member to go and see the films, as all screenings are now ÂŁ3. So you now have no excuse s everyone can afford ÂŁ3 to see some of the best films ever. G o get a beer and a curry and enjoy some fantastic films this week. To find out the times of the films just go to the walkway you see posters. All the information about screenings is on those posters.

Please call by the Felix office to collect your tickets.

ICU Cinema is still looking for people to help out selling tickets and selling ice creams. In return you get to see the films for free. Just e-mail a and they will be able to tell you more or ask the people in charge when you go and se a film this week.

M P M C M

More Offers, Offers, Offers The Odeon have yet another offer to delight you film-loving people, They have introduced a booklet that allows you to buy three cinema tickets and get one free. These booklets also contain vouchers for money off Heat or Empire magazine and go large vouchers for drinks and popcorn. "What's the catch?" I hear you shout. There is no catch. The booklet is free and you can get them from the Felix office any time you like. So come on what are you waiting for?!

D e s p i t e w h a t y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d a b o u t F i g h t Club,

t h i s is n o t a

W i t h the recent spate of "slasher" m o v i e s , finally a b a t i n g with the releas e

f i l m a b o u t v i o l e n c e . S o r r y t o t h o s e o f y o u w h o w a n t e d t o s e e B r a d Pitt

of Scream

g e t h i s h e a d s m a c k e d i n . W h i l e it d o e s i n v o l v e a l o t o f b a r e

knuckle

v e n t i o n a l s u p e r n a t u r a l t h r i l l e r s p i c k i n g u p s t e a m . The Sixth

3 early

f i g h t i n g , it is m o r e a s t o r y a b o u t o n e p e r s o n , a c t e d b y E d w a r d

Norton,

w e l c o m e a d d i t i o n t o this g e n r e .

next y e a r , it's a r e f r e s h i n g s u r p r i s e t o s e e m o r e

Sense

conis a

a n d h o w he a c c i d e n t a l l y f o u n d s a cult. This m o v i e must h a v e b e e n a n i g h t m a r e to pitch to s t u d i o executives. B a s e d o n t h e n o v e l by C h u c k P a l a h n i u k this f i l m h a s b e e n a d a p t e d f o r

Let's t a k e a story, by a n u n p r o v e n s c r e e n w r i t e r / d i r e c t o r , set in a

screen

last m a d e p o p u l a r in t h e m i d 1 9 7 0 ' s , w i t h t h e e m p h a s i s o f t h e a c t i n g o n

by J i m U h l s . This

extremely well. D a v i d

is h i s d e b u t

screenplay

a n d he has d o n e

F i n c h e r d i r e c t s this f ilm in his very

distinctive

style. M o s t of y o u will k n o w h i m f r o m f i l m s s u c h as T h e G a m e , a n d Alien

Seven,

a 9 year o l d k i d . T h e n a d d Bruce Willis as a psychiatrist, into the mix! G r a n t e d that Willis hasn't h a d a g r e a t track r e c o r d w h e n p l a y i n g a p s y c h o l o g i s t [Colour

c h i l d (Mercury The m a i n c h a r a c t e r n a r r a t e s the story f o r y o u a n d o c c a s i o n a l l y talks to

genre

Rising),

of Night

anyone!)

it c o m e s t o

or acting opposite a

it's a s u r p r i s e t h a t this m o v i e w o r k s s o w e l l - t h e

s t u d i o e x e c s m u s t h a v e h a d g r e a t h i n d s i g h t t o g r e e n - l i g h t this p r o j e c t .

t h e v i e w e r in t h e first p e r s o n . H e t e l l s y o u a b o u t h i m s e l f a n d h i s d a y t o

But w e s h o u l d b e t h a n k f u l b e c a u s e M N i g h t S h y a m a l a n

d a y l i f e . A l l g o e s w e l l u n t i l h e m e e t s Tyler D u r d e n (Pitt). D u r d e n is t h e

to craft a n extremely well a c t e d a n d well d e l i v e r e d thriller that m a y not

sort o f p e r s o n w h o is a l w a y s p o p u l a r a n d e v e r y o n e w o u l d l o v e t o b e .

s c a r e y o u o u t of y o u r w i t s , b u t w i l l d e f i n i t e l y l e a v e y o u w i t h a s e n s e o f

H e a n d t h e n a r r a t o r start a f i g h t c l u b c o m p l e t e l y by a c c i d e n t a n d , as

unease as you leave the c i n e m a .

y o u h a v e p r o b a b l y h e a r d f r o m t h e f i l m t r a i l e r s , " T h e first r u l e

has been

able

about W i l l i s p l a y s D r M a l c o l m C r o w e , a p s y c h o l o g i s t , w h o at t h e start o f t h e

F i g h t C l u b is n o t t o t a l k a b o u t F i g h t C l u b . " S o I w o n ' t .

m o v i e is s h o t by a f o r m e r p a t i e n t b e f o r e t h e p a t i e n t t u r n s t h e g u n o n Making

a starring a n d fantastic

appearance

is M e a t l o a f

plays

himself. W e are then w h i s k e d towards "The Next Fall" w h e r e H e n o w has a n e w patient, 9-year-old

meet

C o l e Sear (Haley Joel

Robert P a u l s o n w h o h a s h a d testicular c a n c e r a n d n o w has big bitch

Crowe.

b r e a s t s . H e a c t s h i s p a r t e x t r e m e l y w e l l a n d it is w o r t h w a t c h i n g

O s m e n t ) , w h o exhibits the s a m e p r o b l e m s as the f o r m e r patient - a n d so

this

f i l m just f o r h i m . A l s o s t a r r i n g is H e l e n B o h n a m C a r t e r , n o t p l a y i n g h e r

C r o w e s e e s t h e a b i l i t y t o r e d e e m h i m s e l f in t h e b o y .

u s u a l E n g l i s h Rose c h a r a c t e r but m o r e of a l e a c h y type of p e r s o n . T h e c a s t w o r k s i n c r e d i b l y w e l l a n d it is r a r e t o s e e s o m a n y f a m o u s

people

W h a t u n f o l d s is a n e x c e p t i o n a l l y w e l l - c r a f t e d p i e c e o f m o v i e m a k i n g in w h i c h t h e s u s p e n s e f a c t o r is c r a n k e d r i g h t u p . B u t w h a t m a k e s this m o v i e

a c t u a l l y g i v i n g a g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e in o n e f i l m .

really work

is t h e a c t i n g . W h o w o u l d

h a v e t h o u g h t that

Bruce

Willis

is o n e o f t h o s e f i l m s t h a t y o u t h i n k y o u u n d e r s t a n d a n d

c o u l d b e a b l e t o c o n v e y e m o t i o n s in a s u b t l e m a n n e r w i t h o u t g i v i n g a

q u i t e e n j o y . T h a t is u n t i l a b o u t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s o f t h e w a y t h r o u g h w h e n

o n e - l i n e r , c r a c k i n g his t r a d e m a r k s m i r k a n d t h e n w h i p p i n g o u t a g u n

F i g h t Club

it s u d d e n l y c h a n g e s . T h e p l o t d o e s n ' t q u i t e l o s e y o u a s m u c h a s it c o n -

b e f o r e a l l h e l l b r e a k s l o o s e ? T o n i C o l l e t t e , w h o p l a y s C o l e ' s m o t h e r , is

f u s e s y o u . T h i s is t h e t y p e o f f i l m t h a t t a k e s a w h i l e t o s i n k i n a n d

a l s o o u t s t a n d i n g a s a w o m a n w h o is t r y i n g t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t is w r o n g

l e a v e s y o u w o n d e r i n g a b o u t v a r i o u s a s p e c t s f o r d a y s later. It is f u l l o f

w i t h h e r s o n w h i l s t k e e p i n g h e r f a m i l y t o g e t h e r . B u t t h e r e a l d i s c o v e r y is

d a r k h u m o u r a n d t h e r e is e v e n a b r i e f m o m e n t o f i d i o c y w h e n t h e f i l m

O s m e n t , w h o s e a c t i n g in this m o v i e is n o t h i n g s h o r t o f i n c r e d i b l e - t h e r e

s u d d e n l y s e e m s l i k e a m o d e r n d a y s c e n e f r o m M o n t y Python's

are a l r e a d y w h i s p e r s of a n O s c a r n o m i n a t i o n f o r Best S u p p o r t i n g Actor.

Life of

H e ' s a b l e t o h o l d his o w n in s c e n e s w i t h W i l l i s a n d it's t h e s e s c e n e s w h i c h

Brian.

p r o v i d e t h e b a c k b o n e o f this m o v i e . O k , w h a t I s a i d a b o u t v i o l e n c e isn't e x a c t l y t r u e . T h e r e a r e f i g h t s a n d w h e r e t h e y o c c u r t h e r e a r e l o t s o f f a n t a s t i c s p e c i a l e f f e c t s . It d o e s g e t

M u c h h a s b e e n s a i d a b o u t this m o v i e ' s b i g twist e n d i n g , a n d a l l I c a n

a bit g r u e s o m e a t t i m e s b u t at l e a s t t h e b l o o d d o e s l o o k l i k e b l o o d .

s a y is w h a t e v e r y o u ' v e h e a r d is r i g h t . T h e e n d i n g in this m o v i e o n t h e s a m e m a n t e l p i e c e a s T h e Usual

Suspects,

a n d Seven

belongs

a m o n g oth-

e r s , w i t h t h e hints t o w a r d s it b e i n g p r o v i d e d a l l t h r o u g h o u t t h e m o v i e .

Helen

Imran

Feli& ' 15 ()* +,-+. 1999

% 4 Game In

association

with

gameswire.com A WHOLE

WORLD

Nocturne (PC)

Rage of Mages I (PC)

Eidos/Post-it

NEW

competition R a g e o f Mages RPG This c o m p e t i t i o n w a s r e a l l y subscribed

over-

m m m m . W h a t is t h e

II is m u c h like t h e o r i g i n a l , a h y b r i d o f

a n d strategy, b u t t h e r e

have been some

very

I can't r e m e m b e r the last t i m e I w a s a s d i s a p p o i n t e d in a game

a s I w a s with

Nocturne.

I read

all the hype,

w e l c o m e refinements. A s before you w a n d e r about a

d r o o l e d o v e r the s c r e e n s h o t s a n d w a s s o e x c i t e d t o h a v e

Warcrafr-like

a p r e v i e w c o p y , I c o u l d h a r d l y g e t the C D into the d r i v e .

m a p , f i g h t i n g m o n s t e r s a n d trying t o

m a t t e r with e v e r y o n e ? W e a r e p r e -

a c c o m p l i s h g o a l s . A s y o u w h a c k m o n s t e r s , they c a n

p a r e d t o g i v e a w a y F R E E stuff t o

l e a v e b e h i n d g o l d a n d e q u i p m e n t t h a t y o u c a n use t o

I w o u l d g u e s s that the f e e l i n g o f e x c i t e m e n t lasted a b o u t

you

i m p r o v e y o u r c h a r a c t e r , p l u s y o u r skills a n d hit p o i n t s

t w o m i n u t e s o n c e I started p l a y i n g t h e g a m e itself. T h e

p o o r students

but not many

as y o u f i g h t . U p o n c o m p l e t i n g y o u r g o a l , y o u c a n

p r o b l e m is that it i a c k s that m o s t i m p o r t a n t e l e m e n t in -

W e w o u l d like t o s e e a n i m p r o v e -

m o v e o n t o t h e next m i s s i o n , o r h a n g a r o u n d a n d

a d e c e n t , o r i g i n a l , i d e a . This g a m e h a s b e e n m a d e s o

the win-

e x p l o r e t h e m a p fully, l o o k i n g f o r m o r e m o n s t e r s a n d

m a n y t i m e s b e f o r e , s o m u c h better. This is t h e k i n d o f

m o r e g o l d . B e t w e e n m i s s i o n s , y o u s t o p at t o w n s t o

g a m e that c a u s e s m e to l os e faith in the industry. I m e a n ,

people

entered

the competition.

m e n t next t i m e . A n y w a y

ners o f t h e R E A C T a c r o n y m

com-

petition a r e :

Peter Reeves-Hall Chris Haynes Chris Dickinson Joel Dearden Paul Alexander

t r a d e stuff, o r hire m e r c e n a r i e s if y o u t h i n k t h e next

the guys w h o write t h e s e g a m e s m u s t b e intelligent o r

m i s s i o n will require a n extra body.

they c o u l d n ' t c o p e with t h e p r o g r a m m i n g . S o h o w c a n

W h a t is g r e a t a b o u t this g a m e is its n o n - l i n e a r i t y . Y o u

w h a t y o u a r e r e l e a s i n g is a p i l e o f w a r m e d - o v e r r e p e t i -

d o n ' t h a v e t o d o the q u e s t s in a p a r t i c u l a r o r d e r , y o u

tive r u b b i s h ?

n o o n e in this b i g g r o u p o f i n t e l l i g e n t p e o p l e s p o t that

c a n c h o o s e w h i c h q u e s t a n d w h e n . O n the d o w n s i d e t h e g r a p h i c s a r e not very a d v a n c e d s o d o n o t e x p e c t

First off, a n y s e n s e o f i m m e r s i o n in t h e g a m e , vitally

to b e w o w e d . A l s o , the character's

i m p o r t a n t in h o r r o r g a m e s if it is g o i n g t o b e s c a r y in the

movements are

The 3 best a c r o n y m s in o u r h u m -

q u i t e jerky a n d s l o w . S a y i n g this g r a p h i c s a r e s e c -

slightest, is d e s t r o y e d by the i n f u r i a t i n g f i x e d third p e r s o n

ble o p i n i o n w e r e :

o n d a r y i n t h e s e sorts o f g a m e s a n d it is really t h e

v i e w p o i n t . T h e g r a p h i c s m a y b e g o o d , but a s the o n l y

p l a y a b i l i t y a n d i n t e r a c t i o n that y o u ' r e after.

t h i n g that a c t u a l l y m o v e s is t h e m a i n c h a r a c t e r a n d a

Reality Endures And Computers Tease

f e w p a t h e t i c l o o k i n g w a l k i n g c o r p s e s t h e visuals s o o n ROM2

f e a t u r e s a s i m p l e b u t e f f e c t i v e battl e s t r u c t u r e ,

a k i n t o t h e w o r l d o f WarCraft.

Really Enthusiastic About Computer Technology

Please

come

a n d collect

l os e their a p p e a l . T h e c a m e r a a n g l e s a r e s o b a d half the t i m e y o u can't e v e n s e e y o u r c h a r a c t e r - f a l l i n g t o y o u r

y o u r c h a r a c t e r w h a t to d o , w h i c h spell t o cast, w h i c h

death over a precipice you couldn't even see because

m o n s t e r to attack, etc. Real time g a m e p l a y forces y o u

the g a m e e n g i n e is s o p o o r is not my i d e a of f u n .

to determine

Runny Ectoplasmic Arseholes Creating Treacle

Point a n d c l i c k t o tell

plans of attack

before the fight, a n d T h e n t h e r e is the c o m b a t . A i m i n g in t h i r d p e r s o n is diffi-

R O M 2 will k e e p y o u constantly thinking.

cult e n o u g h , but the c o n t r o l system is e v e n w o r s e , l e a d -

your

g o o d y b a g s a t t h e Felix o f f i c e .

Just look what the winners are enjoying...

O n e t h i n g w h i c h I f o u n d a n n o y i n g a b o u t this g a m e is

ing t o b i z a r r e s i t u a t i o n s with my c h a r a c t e r s t a n d i n g in the

t h a t it is very h a r d . U s u a l l y h a r d g a m e s m a k e f o r a n

c o r n e r s h o o t i n g at the g r o u n d i n s t e a d o f a t the d o g that

interesting c h a l l e n g e

w a s busy g n a w i n g m y l e g off. Personally, I think the o n l y

but when y o u keep o n dying

y o u l o s e interest. It w a s a c a s e of s a v i n g every c o u p l e

r e a s o n the b a d guys a r e all s l o w m o v i n g z o m b i e s is that

of m i n u t e s f o r f e a r i n g o f b e i n g m a s s a c r e d b y c e r t a i n

s h o o t i n g anything m o v i n g m u c h faster w o u l d b e i m p o s -

z o m b i e s a n d other nefarious creature.

sible d u e t o the p o o r c o n t r o l s a n d c a m e r a a n g l e s .

In c o n c l u s i o n t h e g a m e

E v e n w o r s e , in o r d e r to p l a y N o c t u r n e p r o p e r l y requires

is a n i c e R P G / s t r a t e g y b u t

t h e r e is n o t m u c h n e w h e r e . I, p e r s o n a l l y e n j o y e d it

a very h i g h - e n d m a c h i n e ( a b o u t a P e n t i u m l l l - 4 5 0 a n d a

but it d o e s h a v e a jerky q u a l i t y a n d is s o m e t i m e s very

d e c e n t 3 2 - b i t 3 D c a r d ) . This is m o s t definitely not t h e

tricky. If it w e r e n ' t f o r the likes o f D i a b l o II c o m i n g o u t

k i n d o f g a m e that w o u l d e n c o u r a g e

s o o n I m i g h t h a v e b o u g h t this g a m e s t r a i g h t off but I

Avoid

t h i n k it is best t o w a i t f o r it t o c o m e o u t in b u d g e t .

corpse of M a g g i e Thatcher.

Mark

it a s y o u w o u l d

m e to upgrade.

the walking, disease

ridden

Ben

liiiilll

Flanker 2.0 (PC) g a m e : d u r i n g o n e anti-ship m i s s i o n I t o o k o u t the

Flight s i m u l a t i o n s a r e u s u a l l y d i v i d e d into t w o types

f a n a t i c w o u l d notice the d i f f e r e n c e I d o u b t very

- t h e m i n d l e s s , a r c a d e style affairs a n d t h e type that

m u c h , h o w e v e r - w h e n w a s the last t i m e y o u a c t u -

c o m b a t a i r p a t r o l f r o m l o n g r a n g e a n d d o v e in o n

c o m e s with a m a n u a l f o u r h u n d r e d p a g e s

ally flew a n F-1 6 ?

the target s h i p . Firing t w o s e a - s k i m m i n g missiles at

r e q u i r i n g a d e g r e e in a e r o n a u t i c s a n d a

long

it I t u r n e d f o r h o m e o n full afterburner, s k i m m i n g

private

pilots l i c e n s e t o fly.

I d o think that p e r h a p s this r e a l i s m drive

Flanker

2 is s u p p o s e d t o fill t h e v o i d b e t w e e n these

switches a r e l a b e l l e d in Russian only, w h i c h d o e s

downed

both

two types - e v e n w i t h o u t the m a n u a l I w a s in t h e a i r

n o t h i n g to e n h a n c e playability. I n d e e d the w h o l e

weapons

a n d l o o k i n g a right f o o l . N o w that is

a n d s h o o t i n g things d o w n well e n o u g h after a f e w

g a m e s e e m s t o h a v e b e e n d e s i g n e d with a very

detail.

minutes. There a r e a l s o various training missions

Russian military d e s i g n p o l i c y in m i n d : k e e p it s i m -

have gone

a little f a r t h o u g h

might

- all the c o c k p i t

the w a v e s at 1 3 0 0 k p h . A s I w a t c h e d the missiles streak

targetwards,

two

of t h e m ,

ship-launched leaving

SAMS

with

learning

p l e , b u i l d s o m e t h i n g that d o e s the j o b a n d f o r g e t

If y o u t a k e the t i m e t o g e t b e y o n d t h e initial t r a i n -

m e t h o d they a r e extremely effective. T h e F l a n k e r o f

the rest. W h e r e it c o u n t s (ie a r o u n d target a r e a s )

i n g m i s s i o n s , this is a b i g g a m e with l o a d s o f m i s -

the g a m e ' s title is t h e S U - 2 7 , the latest, h a r d e s t

the g r a p h i c s a r e very d e t a i l e d , but e l s e w h e r e they

s i o n s t o play. T h e m u l t i p l a y e r s e c t i o n is well i m p l e -

(and p r o b a b l y biggest) R u s s i a n f i g h t e r p l a n e . I a m

b e c o m e blurry a n d lack c o l o u r d e p t h . This m e a n s

m e n t e d a n d e n t e r t a i n i n g , a l t h o u g h it lack s the p e r -

t o l d that b e c a u s e the R u s s i a n a r m e d services d o

it runs extremely s m o o t h l y e v e n o n my o l d P C ,

s o n a l c o m b a t t o u c h of W o r l d W a r II d o g f i g h t i n g

available

in-game

in w h i c h , a n d as a

pretty m u c h a n y t h i n g f o r m o n e y t h e s e d a y s , t h e

s o m e t h i n g m a n y o t h e r m o d e r n flight sims d o n ' t d o .

g a m e s . It is n o t a n e w b e n c h m a r k in c o m b a t

developers were allowed

T h e e m p h a s i s is very m u c h o n the details of

s i m u l a t i o n s , b u t it's definitely u p t h e i r with the best

a c c e s s t o all sorts of

i n f o r m a t i o n o n t h e p l a n e that w o u l d n ' t h a v e b e e n available

if they'd

Whether anyone

chosen

an American

but the m o s t d e d i c a t e d

flying,

flight

not o n flashy eye-candy.

of t h e m .

Here's o n e e x a m p l e of t h e k i n d o f m i s s i o n in the

â&#x20AC;˘

t i m e s , but t h e n w h o really t a k e s a n y n o t i c e o f plots

s t a n d a r d 'pull t h e switch t o o p e n t h e d o o r

in g a m e s a n y w a y ? Basically, y o u play R a y m a n , a

really, but y o u n e e d pretty g o o d c o o r d i n a t i o n t o

f l o p p y - e a r e d c r e a t u r e with n o a r m s o r legs - his

get far. O n the w h o l e t h e c a m e r a a n g l e s a r e g o o d ,

plane. flight

Ben

kind

feet a n d h a n d s just f l o a t a r o u n d - a n d h a v e to save

a n d y o u c a n a l w a y s m o v e the c a m e r a if y o u n e e d

the w o r l d by j u m p i n g a r o u n d a n d c o l l e c t i n g t h i n g s .

to.

T h e g a m e e a s e s y o u in g r a d u a l l y with a lot o f easy

T h e g r a p h i c s a r e w e l l d r a w n a n d d e t a i l e d , a n d the

levels early o n . W i t h a bit o f p a t i e n c e you'll s o o n

s o u n d effects a r e suitably s q u e a k y a n d c a r t o o n

get o n t o the m o r e c h a l l e n g i n g a n d f u n levels. This

like. T h e m u s i c is b o u n c y a n d f u n , with n i c e little

is certainly a b i g g a m e , a s I've b e e n p l a y i n g f o r a

trills w h e n y o u d o s o m e t h i n g i m p o r t a n t . It's a little

w e e k n o w a n d m y s c o r e is still o n l y 8 % . It's a l s o

like p l a y i n g in o n e of t h o s e kids c a r t o o n s that a r e

r e w a r d i n g , a s y o u a r e a l w a y s d i s c o v e r i n g n e w lev-

o n T V early S a t u r d a y m o r n i n g .

els a n d s p e c i a l s e c t i o n s , n o t just frustratingly w a l k ing r o u n d the s a m e levels a g a i n a n d a g a i n l o o k T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t fact a b o u t this g a m e is that it's

ing f o r the exit

A l l in a l l , R a y m a n 2 is a n e x t r e m e l y well p o l i s h e d g a m e . It m a y b e a little c h i l d i s h , b u t if y o u treat it as a bit of a l a u g h a n d just play t h e g a m e , it'll s o o n

great f u n t o play. F r o m t h e cutesy, s q u e a k y c a r t o o n

d r a w y o u in a n d h a v e y o u hitting the k e y b o a r d in

c h a r a c t e r s t o the very c l e a r g r a p h i c s , e v e r y t h i n g is

A fair bit o f t h o u g h t h a s o b v i o u s l y g o n e into the

enjoyable.

level d e s i g n , a n d s o m e of the puzzles a n d tricks a r e

disgust w h e n y o u miss a n easy j u m p a n d p o o r lit-

e s p e c i a l l y c u n n i n g . T h e y a r e a l s o v a r i e d , n o t just

tle R a y m a n p l u n g e s t o his d o o m just b e f o r e y o u

A 3 D p l a t f o r m g a m e a l o n g t h e lines o f M a r i o 6 4 ,

the e n d l e s s r e p e a t i n g " j u m p , w a l k , j u m p , s h o o t " o f

c o m p l e t e the level.

R a y m a n 2 is definitely w o r t h a try if y o u like that

m a n y 3 D p l a t f o r m g a m e s o n the P C . T h e puzzles

sort o f t h i n g . T h e storyline m a y b e a bit w e i r d at

aren't exactly brain-taxers, n e v e r g o i n g b e y o n d the

â&#x20AC;˘

Ben

method

^ U J

The David's

The Turner Prize 1 9 9 9

Dirk

Finbourough

Tate G a l l e r y - P i m l i c o t u b e

The

Free

Soc's amazing Christmas production

Theatre

Earls C o u r t t u b e

countdown

begins for Dram-

£5 C o n e .

If y o u d e c i d e t o visit this e x h i b i t i o n ( a n d y o u s h o u l d ) , y o u will n o t d e p a r t with t h e

Imperial's thespians are taking o n

a w a r e that this p l a y w a s

s a m e i m p r e s s i o n a s u s . T h a t ' s w h a t t h e Turner

something

n o t a i m e d at a w i d e s e c -

d e f i n i t i o n o f " a r t " . Short-listed f o r t h e p r i z e this y e a r a r e f o u r very c o n t r o v e r s i a l artists

tion

Hard

I am

core.

well

Prize

is a l l a b o u t ; it c h a l l e n g e s o u r

huge;

of the p u b l i c a n d

- n o n e m o r e s o t h a n Tracy E m i n . H e r w o r k is s t r i k i n g b e c a u s e of t h e w i d e r a n g e o f

s c r i p t is a d a p t e d

unless y o u a r e a m i d d l e -

r e s p o n s e s that it p r o v o k e s . H e r s h o w p i e c e c o m p r i s e s o f h e r sick b e d , e m b r o i d e r e d

tly 's Holistic

aged

q u i l t ( p i c t u r e d a b o v e ) , m e m o r a b i l i a a n d v i d e o f o o t a g e . Is s h e a s e l f - c e n t r e d n a r c i s -

Douglas

u n a b l e to find the b a l -

sistic tart w h o b o o s t s h e r e g o t h r o u g h c a p t u r i n g o u r s y m p a t h y ?

Hitch

ance between a m o n o g -

to s h a m e h e r s e l f t h r o u g h l a y i n g b a r e h e r life t o t h e j u d g e m e n t of o t h e r s ? D o y o u f e e l

homosexual

O r is s h e w a n t i n g

t h e first

inde-

p e n d e n t s h o w i n g e v e r o f Dirk. T h e

Adams

Hickers

Gen-

f r o m Dirk

Detective

Agency

(author

of the

Guide

the

Galaxy).

a m o u s relationship a n d

s o r r o w f o r h e r o r c o n t e m p t ? E i t h e r w a y s h e h a s h a d a c o l o u r f u l a n d , at t i m e s , s o r -

midnight

with

d i d p a s t , w h i c h p e r h a p s s h e is trying t o r e c o n c i l e t h r o u g h h e r w o r k , c o m i n g t o t e r m s

Mr.

strangers o n the h e a t h ,

with t h e t r a u m a ( p a r t i c u l a r l y s e x u a l ) s h e d e s c r i b e s in h e r c h i l d i s h s c r i b b l e s . It's p r o b -

w r i t i n g o f this p l a y a n d h a s sent

then

ably the most i m m e d i a t e l y a c c e s s i b l e of all the work s h o w n .

words

sodomy

the issues

of this

play will p e r h a p s s e e m a little d i s t a n t .

Adams

was involved

advice

in t h e

DramSoc;

" D o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t t h e story a n d J a n e a n d Louise W i l s o n ' s display also studies aspects of h u m a n nature, t h r o u g h

just h a v e f u n " .

l o o k i n g at h o w e x p e r i e n c e s h a v e b e c o m e i n g r a i n e d in t h e f a b r i c of t w o d i s t i n c t l o c a The

play

deal

attempted

with

through

the

t i o n s ; t h e H o o v e r d a m a n d a Las V e g a s c a s i n o .

Their wall to wall c i n e m a t i c display

T h i s p l a y is e a s i l y t h e m o s t t e c h n i -

issues

n o t o n l y r e c r e a t e s t h e a t m o s p h e r e a n d d i s o r i e n t a t i o n o f t h e C a s i n o life style (with it's

cally

uncertain

w r a p - a r o u n d v i s u a l s a n d e v o c a t i v e s o u n d t r a c k ) , b u t it a l s o reflects t h e u n c e r t a i n l y

h a s e v e r d o n e (it i n c l u d e s a s p a c e -

these

challenging

that

DramSoc

relationship between a n

a n d c h e a p n e s s o f s u c h a n e x i s t e n c e . T h e d a m ' s c o r r i d o r s stretch a w a y i n t o n o t h i n g -

s h i p l a n d i n g o n s t a g e ) , b u t if a n y

older lover a n d a young

ness, c o m p l e m e n t i n g the c a s i n o f o o t a g e , m a k i n g y o u unsure which path o r c h a n c e

t e c h c r e w c a n h a n d l e it, D r a m S o c

g u y in a b o y b a n d . T h e

to t a k e .

are d a boyz.

characters spent almost half t h e t i m e butt n a k e d

S t e v e M c Q u e e n a i m s t o p r o d u c e a p h y s i c a l r e a c t i o n in t h e v i e w e r , this t i m e m o r e f o r

T i c k e t s £ 4 . 5 0 f r o m 2 9 t h N o v - at

respect

c o m i c effect. H i s D e a d P a n is a r e c r e a t i o n o f a B u s t e r K e a t o n s k e t c h , with t h e s i d e

the U n i o n O f f i c e o r o n t h e d o o r .

the a c t o r s f o r a t t e m p t i n g

of a h o u s e f a l l i n g o n t h e artist, o n l y f o r h i m t o m i r a c u l o u s l y s u r v i v e s i n c e t h e e m p t y

Showing 8-11

such a hard core

piece

w i n d o w f r a m e f a l l s a r o u n d h i m . T h i s p r o m o t e s t h e i d e a o f gravity c r e a t i n g a s o l i d

of t h e a t r e a n d t h e w r i t e r

a n d v e r y r e a l t h r e a t , a n d o f t h e artist t a k i n g a risk f o r his t r a d e . H i s w o r k c a n b e

shagging.

for

dealing

issues way

with

in s u c h

the

frank

b u t it n e v e r

really

worked.

i n t e r p r e t e d in a n u m b e r o f w a y s , a n d in spite o f t h e f a c t that it is n o t i m m e d i a t e l y

December

Time's Running Out To See

a c c e s s i b l e , this m a k e s is a l l t h e m o r e r e w a r d i n g .

Higher than Bable O n t h e s u r f a c e S t e v e n P i p p i n ' s w o r k s e e m s m o r e like s c i e n c e t h a n art. H e h a s c o n -

The

v e r t e d t w e l v e w a s h i n g m a c h i n e s in t o p i n h o l e c a m e r a s , c a p a b l e o f d e v e l o p i n g t h e i r

a n d S o c i e t y is e x p l o r e d .

relationship between

Basically the p r o d u c t i o n

s l i d e s w i t h i n t h e w a s h i n g c y c l e . T h e s e p i c t u r e s a r e d i s p l a y e d in serie s a l o n g t h e w a l l ,

Bridwell Theatre.

w a s o u t o f it's d e p t h a n d

but u n f o r t u n a t e l y t h e c o n c e p t o f h o w they w e r e t a k e n is m o r e e x c i t i n g t h a n w h a t y o u

Finishes 2 0 N o v - £ 8

being

result

ended

a c t u a l l y s e e - a l t h o u g h h i m w a l k i n g t h r o u g h t h e l a u n d e r e t t e in his y-fronts with a v i s -

long

periods

i b l e e r e c t i o n m a y b e i n t e r e s t i n g t o s o m e . A g o o d i d e a b u t t h e results w e r e u n i n s p i r -

Some Explicit Polaroids

ing.

D o w e c a r e a b o u t a n y real princi-

b o r e d o m p u n c t u a t e d by brief

Science

moments

bug-

gery.

ples W e couldn't a g r e e o n a n overall winner.

o r d o w e just w a n t t o g e t

pissed all the time? N e w A m b a s s a d o r Theatre

Ben

Tom &

Emma

Finishes 2 0 N o v - £ 5 - 2 0

d /\ 1IP«

S a c k l e r W i n g , R o y a l A c a d e m y of Arts - N e a r e s t T u b e : G r e e n P a r k

Tate G a l l e r y - N e a r e s t T u b e : P i m l i c o

Until: 6 February 2 0 0 0

Until: 3 0 January 2 0 0 0

This e x h i b i t i o n w a s s o m e t h i n g of a n O c t o b e r R e v o l u t i o n . If y o u g o , y o u

Gatecrashing

m a y b e f o r c e d to a g r e e that it is the e x h i b i t i o n of the year. A m a z i n g a s a

Bloomsbury

Thursday

N i g h t C o c k t a i l s at

Experience?

UCL

Union.

Is this y o u r

If it i s , B l o o m s b u r y w i l l n o t b e a v e r y

only

evocative

w h o l e a n d yet e v e r y p a i n t i n g is s p e c i a l in its o w n right. T h e h y p e w a s :

p l a c e for y o u . After c l o s i n g time, we all k n o w that you n e e d a junior d o c t o r ' s

Five R u s s i a n ( N a t a l i a G o n c h a r o v a , L u i b o v P o p o v a , O l g a R o z a n o v a , Var-

s t a m i n a just to s t a n d n e a r t h o s e s l o s h e d s t u d e n t s s i c k i n g u p a n d u p a n d u p .

vara Stepanova, N a d e z h d a Udaltsova)

and one Ukrainian (Alexandra

Exter) artist s h o w i n g m o r e t h a n fifty p a i n t i n g s , m a n y n e v e r b e f o r e s e e n in

But h a v i n g b e e n a U C L u n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d s o m e t i m e r e s i d e n t o f C a r t w r i g h t

the W e s t . W e f o l l o w the c a r e e r s of t h e s e artists in a s w e e p t h r o u g h the

G a r d e n s , I a l s o k n o w B l o o m s b u r y f o r its l e a f y s q u a r e s a n d g r a c e f u l

y e a r s i m m e d i a t e l y b e f o r e a n d after t h e 1 9 1 7 R e v o l u t i o n . I w e n t in w a n t -

g i a n terraces: semi-mythical h o m e l a n d of that f a m o u s collective of r a d i c a l

ing to like this e x h i b i t i o n a n d c a m e o u t in l o v e . But t h e r e a r e just t o o

intellectuals k n o w n as the B l o o m s b u r y G r o u p . W i t h i n

m a n y f a n t a s t i c p i c t u r e s h e r e a n d I a m s t r u g g l i n g to d e s c r i b e t h e m .

tance

UCL

Keynes, E M A p p r o a c h O l g a R o z a n o v a ' s Jack of Hearts

a n d y o u t h i n k : s h e is c o p y i n g

P i c a s s o . T h e n y o u r e a d : p a i n t e d a b o u t 1 9 1 2 . T h e n y o u w o n d e r : this

are

the

former

houses

Forster, R o g e r Fry, V a n e s s a

easy stumbling dis-

of V i r g i n i a W o o l f , Bell a n d

Geor-

Duncan

John

Maynard

Grant. The

t h r e e w e r e artists a n d this n e w e x h i b i t i o n f o l l o w s t h e i r i n t e r l i n k e d

last

careers

from 1 9 1 0 .

p a i n t i n g w o u l d p a s s f o r a P i c a s s o c i r c a 1 9 6 0 . In 1 9 1 7 , R o z a n o v a p a i n t e d G r e e n Stripe

(Colour

Painting).

This is p u r e l y a b s t r a c t , r e d u c t i v e a n d

S a d l y , this e x h i b i t i o n i n a d v e r t e n t l y p o r t r a y s B l o o m s b u r y a s a f o s s i l i s e d b a c k -

a l m o s t u n b e l i e v a b l y a h e a d o f its t i m e . P o p o v a is e q u a l l y i m p r e s s i v e with

w a t e r of a r t i s t i c m e d i o c r i t y . A l t h o u g h R o g e r

h e r b o l d , d r a m a t i c , o f t e n a b s t r a c t f o r m s (Painterly

These

I m p r e s s i o n i s m i n t o t h e B r i t i s h art m a i n s t r e a m , m o s t o f his o w n w o r k a n d t h a t

artists w e r e s o a v a n t - g a r d e that they f o r e s a w the future of W e s t e r n art. Its

o f Bel l a n d G r a n t is, w i t h o u t d o u b t , i n c r e d i b l y d u l l a n d v e r y m u c h o f its a g e .

Architectonics).

Fry w a s t h e first t o

introduce

a l m o s t as s u r p r i s i n g a s Q u e e n V i c t o r i a p r e d i c t i n g the internet, a n d t h e n T h e r e w e r e o v e r a h u n d r e d a r c h e t y p a l B l o o m s b u r y w o r k s (still-lifes, p o r t r a i t s )

h a v i n g h e r p a l a c e w i r e d u p f o r it.

a n d s o m e of t h e m w ere distinctly third rate. V a n e s s a O f the six, G o n c h a r o v a

w a s the m o s t d e d i c a t e d

p a i n t e r (the

others

Asheham

Bell's The

Ha/stack,

is b a r e l y d i s t i n g u i s h a b l e f r o m t h e p o o r l y e x e c u t e d d a u b s o f

w o r k e d o n t h e a t r e sets a n d textiles). S h e p i c k e d u p W e s t e r n i n f l u e n c e s

a m a t e u r . Yet o t h e r s g i v e t h e i m p r e s s i o n of b o r e d o m : i m a g i n e V a n e s s a

a n d m a d l y r a n with t h e m , p r o d u c i n g p i c t u r e s of q u i t e striking originality.

sitting a r o u n d with n o t h i n g t o d o a n d d e s p e r a t e l y

Starting in 1 9 0 7 with a b e a u t i f u l l y e x e c u t e d I m p r e s s i o n i s t self-portrait

s o m e t h i n g ' c l e v e r ' to p a i n t . In t h e b a c k g r o u n d o f D u n c a n G r a n t ' s Still

(Self-Portrait

With Matisse,

with Yellow

Lilies),

s h e e v o l v e s effortlessly i n t o a m o r e f u t u r -

ist style (Pillars of Salt, 1 9 0 8 ) . T h e n , in a little o v e r t w o y e a r s , she p a i n t s the d a r k l y - b r o o d i n g m a s t e r p i e c e Apocalypse

(Elder

with Seven

racking her brains for

t h e r e is a r e p r o d u c t i o n o f M a t i s s e ' s Blue

Nude

Life

I. I'm a f r a i d t o

s a y t h a t M a t i s s e , e v e n in i m i t a t i o n , p u t e v e r y t h i n g e l s e t o s h a m e .

Stars),

w h i c h c o u l d b e c o n t e m p o r a r y art. S o f o r w a r d l o o k i n g , it w a s c o n s i d e r e d

T h e t r a g e d y is t h a t t h e r e w e r e o n l y f i v e r e a l l y s t r i k i n g p a i n t i n g s in t h e e n t i r e

b l a s p h e m o u s a n d c a u s e d a p o l i t i c a l s t o r m at t h e t i m e . U n p e r t u r b e d , s h e

e x h i b i t i o n . T h e s e w e r e a c t u a l l y not all that w o n d e r f u l a n d h a v e b e e n

s p e a r h e a d e d the R u s s i a n C u b o - F u t u r i s t m o v e m e n t , with p i c t u r e s like The

e l s e w h e r e a n d better. Yet they w e r e a e s t h e t i c a l l y p l e a s i n g a n d c a p t i v a t e d

Weaver

e i t h e r by t h e i r i n t i m a c y w i t h t h e s u b j e c t ( G r a n t : V a n e s s a Bell

(Loom

and

an Bell

Woman).

a n d Vanessa But the p a i n t i n g s a r e m o r e t h a n w o n d e r f u l . Every o n e is a u n i q u e s y n e r -

South

Bell Pregnant)

of France;

Charleston

o r their vibrant w a r m t h (Grant: The D o o r w a y

Fry: V i e w o f

done

and

Cassis).

gy of W e s t e r n i n f l u e n c e a n d R u s s i a n f o l k art. G o n c h a r o v a t a k e s the t r a d i t i o n s of R u s s i a a n d reinterprets t h e m in p i c t u r e s like M o w e r s , w h i c h h a s

T h e i m p a c t o f this e x h i b i t i o n r e l i e s e n t i r e l y u p o n its c o n t e x t . T h e

the a i r of a m e d i e v a l a l l e g o r i c a l p a i n t i n g . A l e x a n d r a Exter p a i n t e d in a n

celebrity c o n n e c t i o n m e a n s that p e o p l e h a n d o v e r m o n e y to see s o m e t h i n g

a b s t r a c t style but w a s f o r e v e r i n t e r e s t e d in the t r a d i t i o n a l , c l a s s i c a l r e p -

that w o u l d b e , u n d e r n o r m a l c i r c u m s t a n c e s , firmly r o o t e d in the s e c o n d d i v i -

r e s e n t a t i o n of l a n d s c a p e , m a g i c a l l y e x p r e s s e d in Cityscape

(Composi-

s i o n ( a n d I a m b e i n g c h a r i t a b l e h e r e ) . B u t , in s p i t e o f t h i s , I c o u l d n ' t h e l p b u t fall into the celebrity t r a p a n d b e g i n to like these p i c t u r e s .

tion). I a m s p e e c h l e s s !

• ••••

Bloomsbury

William

Burns

William

Burns

Royal College Science Union

an u an t Finborough Theatre

"Let a t h o u s a n d flowers b l o o m " said M a o

N e a r e s t T u b e : Earls C o u r t

Tse T e u n g t h e n s t a m p e d o n t h e i r h e a d s a s

Until: 2 7 N o v e m b e r 1 9 9 9

he didn't like the c o l o u r .

Houston, we have a

prob-

T h e f r i n g e s c e n e . It's m a d e u p o f a n u m b e r

lem! O r rather several p r o b -

o f s i d e s ; w e h a v e t h e w r i t e r s w h o strive t o

lems,

c r e a t e t h e truly o r i g i n a l - a c t o r s w h o try a n d

which

drifting

left

this

somewhat

play

forlornly

b r e a t h life i n t o t h e n e w s c r i p t s - a n d c r i t i c s

in s p a c e . A l l t w o o f us in t h e

w h o s l a g off both the others f o r b e i n g c r a p .

audience wacky

were

story

told

the

Kentish

Is t h e r e a n y w a y o u t o f t h i s p a r a d o x . N o p e .

Town

caterer w h o believed

For every great play there a r e t h o u s a n d s of

that

his

r u b b i s h o n e s - t h e r e h a s t o b e . Yet w i t h o u t

ended

the fringe s c e n e (which allows e x p e r i m e n t a l

mother

astronaut.

was

The play

to t h e s t r a i n s o f Lucy In T h e

theatre

Sky W i t h D i a m o n d s , w h i c h I

the truly g reat .

to develop)

we would

never

have

think just a b o u t s u m m e d u p this s u r r e a l e x p e r i e n c e .

M o s t o f t h e stuff o n a t t h e f r i n g e is b a d . B u t this

G i v e n t h e c o n s t r a i n t s o f this

does

not m e a n

it is w o r t h l e s s .

For

s o m e t h i n g t o b e o r i g i n a l it m u s t t a k e a risk

tiny t h e a t r e , t h e t w o - p e r s o n

- a n d t h a t risk is t h a t it w i l l e n d u p b e i n g

cast

crap.

(Anthony

Best

and

D e n i s e L a n e ) d i d w h a t they could.

Best

did

not

all r e m e m b e r

Shakespeare,

but there

a l w a y s d o his b e s t , o n c e f o r -

w e r e h u n d r e d s of playwrites a r o u n d at the

getting

time;

his

noticeably

lines and

rather needing

most were

Shakespeare

infinitely f o r g e t t a b l e , but

w o u l d never have

developed

three l o u d p r o m p t s . M s Lane

without actors willing to act a n d theatres in

also

need of shows.

suffered

from

First

Night

Nerves

a n d it

con-

cerns

m e that

actors

should

professional be so

ama-

teurish, especially w h e n the punters

are

paying

good

money.

New

original theatre

is v e r y r a r e a n d - t o

t o p it o f f - w h e n it d o e s c o m e a l o n g , s o c i ety

dismisses

it a s w o r t h l e s s

a s it is n o t

r e a d y y e t . B u t t h i s is t h e o n l y w a y it c a n b e - there

needs

to be a

large

a n d vibrant

f r i n g e s c e n e full off c r a p w h i c h t h e g r e a t I f i n d it h a r d t o s l a m this p l a y

will t r a n s c e n d . A n d yes w e e v e n n e e d the

(I f e e l sorry f o r t h e m ) . B u t if

critics t r a s h i n g every thing they d o n ' t u n d e r -

you

stand a n d hailing something as a

w a n t t o g o , I'd

because

I s u s p e c t this

hurry, per-

master-

piece every fortnight or s o .

f o r m a n c e will be p u l l e d l o n g b e f o r e t h e e n d o f its s c h e d -

Let a t h o u s a n d f l o w e r s b l o o m ,

uled s e a s o n .

m o s t o f t h e m w i l l b e ugly.

â&#x20AC;˘

William

Burns

Monday 15 November

but accept

Ben

7:30pm in the Senior Common Room

books Three Women.

England England, Julian Barnes

Three Women,

The Restraint of Beasts,

Marge Piercy novel

This o n e g o e s out t o all the M u r d o c h - h a t e r s out there. N o m i n a t e d for the 1 9 9 8

author

Marge

B o o k e r , h e r e is a b o o k t h a t b u i l d s u p o n t h e s t a n d a r d t h e m e o f a r t b e i n g u s e d a s

Piercy a n d f o l l o w s three

genera-

a s u b s t i t u t e f o r reality. T h e b o o k starts o u t w i t h a n e x p l o r a t i o n o f t h e m a n n e r i n

Three W o m e n from

is t h e l a t e s t

American

tions

of w o m e n :

Suzanne

is a

Magnus Mills

w h i c h w e c o n s t r u c t artificial w o r l d s , only t o finish with a s c a t h i n g attack o n w h a t

T h e first n o v e l b y M i l l s ,

highly successful lawyer w h o h a s

B a r n e s g e n e r a l l y pe r c e i v e s a s a lack o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s with r e g a r d t o true a u t h e n -

who

just e m b a r k e d

ticity a n d h e r i t a g e .

d r i v e r d u r i n g its w r i t i n g ,

o n a n e w e r a in

her life, t e a c h i n g at B o s t o n

Uni-

worked

as a bus

T h e Restraint

of Beasts is

versity a n d b e g i n n i n g a n e w r e l a -

The b a s i c story line f o l l o w s t h e rather g r a n d i o s e s c h e m e of m u l t i m i l l i o n a i r e Sir

a b o o k o f real character

tionship

and comic charm.

internet

J a c k Pitman t o create the greatest tourist attraction ever - the t h e m e par k t o beat

r o m a n c e . Beverly, h e r m o t h e r a n d

following

a l l t h e m e p a r k s . T h i s is n o o r d i n a r y p a r k , this o n e o c c u p i e s t h e w h o l e o f t h e Isle

one

time

political

activist,

of W i g h t ! T h e isle, n o w re-christened " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " h a s lifelike replicas -

Two

f i e r c e l y i n d e p e n d e n t y e t h e r life is

a n d in s o m e cases, the originals which have been specially m o v e d there - of all

c l a s s b r o t h e r s , Tarn a n d

shattered a s s h e suffers a d e b i l i -

t h e u s u a l t o u r i s t a t t r a c t i o n s t h a t e a r n t h e B r i t i s h Isles s o m u c h o f t h e i r w e a l t h .

Richie,

wannabe

tating

S t o n e h e n g e , W e s t m i n s t e r A b b e y a n d e v e n B u c k i n g h a m P a l a c e a r e i n c l u d e d i n Pit-

rockers

and

slacker

builders,

provide

stroke

increasingly around

and

becomes

reliant

her. E l e n a ,

those

Suzanne's

feisty d a u g h t e r , l o s e s h e r j o b a s a waitress

a n d is f o r c e d

working

hard-

man's c o l l e c t i o n . Wit h the Royal Family, T h e Times a n d M a n c h e s t e r United F C a l l

fence

set f i r m l y i n p l a c e o n t h e Isle, " E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d " sets a l l o u t t o b r i n g t h e o n c e -

the h u m o u r a s v i e w e d by

m i g h t y n a t i o n t o its k n e e s .

the

to m o v e

b a c k in with h e r mother.

Scottish

poor

soul

assigned T h e c e n t r a l c h a r a c t e r is t h e c y n i c M a r t h a C o c h r a n e w h o , d e s p i t e b e i n g u n u s u a l -

freshly

as the boys

foreman.

ly d i s s a t i s f i e d a b o u t t h i n g s i n g e n e r a l , m a n a g e s t o g e t i n v o l v e d w i t h this g i a n t A s they a r e t h r o w n tog ether, t h e

p r o j e c t a n d e v e n t u a l l y b l a c k m a i l s h e r w a y r i g h t t o t h e t o p . B a r n e s is a t h i s b e s t

W h i l e not quite a l a u g h

women

w h e n d e p i c t i n g M a r t h a , w h o s e d i a l o g u e r i n g s v e r y t r u e a n d is n e v e r o v e r l y h a r s h

a page, I did laugh out

their

are forced

lives

readjust

a n d reconsider

relationships.

their

Piercy tackles

loud

despite the ever-present sarcastic undertones.

both

m a t e r n a l responsibilities a n d filial

countless

during H o w e v e r , t h e e n d is f a i r l y d i r e a n d p r e d i c t a b l e ; E n g l a n d , E n g l a n d

d e c l a r e s its

times

the course

prompted

reading,

l o y a l t y i n a w a y t h a t is c h a l l e n g -

i n d e p e n d e n c e , joins the E U , shrugs off the m a i n l a n d c o m p l e t e l y a n d generally

Mills d e a d

ing yet p o i g n a n t . T h e story

l e a d s t h e rest o f t h e w o r l d t o first i g n o r e a n d t h e n c o n d e m n t h e m a i n l a n d . O l d

a n d the apparen t idiocy

E n g l a n d i n a d e s p e r a t e b i d t o r e g a i n s o m e c r e d i b i l i t y r e - c h r i s t e n s itself " A n g l i a "

of the t w o brothers, w h o

touches

also

o n issues a s diverse a s

e u t h a n a s i a a n d adultery.

a n d then expels the errant island. T h e Times (which h a s m o v e d - a l o n g with a l l

manage

o t h e r i n s t i t u t i o n s - t o t h e Isle) l a b e l s this t h e a c t o f a " b a n k r u p t p a r e n t e x a s p e r a t -

selves

T h e b o o k is w r i t t e n f r o m t h e p o i n t

e d l y d e c l a r i n g t h a t it w o u l d n o l o n g e r u n d e r w r i t e t h e b i l l s o f its m i l l i o n a i r e c h i l d " .

trouble.

of v i e w

T h e w o r l d at larg e b e g i n s t o f org et a b o u t everything t o d o directly with O l d E n g -

the

of a l l three

author'

allows with

the reader all the main

However, book, to

women and

attention

at times

detail

to empathise characters.

American

l a w , very

heavy

g o i n g . If y o u l i k e i n t e n s e , r o m a n -

it is n o t t h e b o o k

for m e .

A fresh c h a n g e of p a c e a n d well worth a l o o k .

a t this p o i n t , a s s h e r e f l e c t s o n h o w t h i n g s

have

c h a n g e d s o rapidly. Y o u will l a u g h T h e e n d r e a l l y d o e s s e e m t a g g e d o n , h o w e v e r . It is e x t r e m e l y a b r u p t a n d e v e r y thing c h a n g e s in the s p a c e of a f e w p a g e s . This disturbs the narrative f l o w a n d

Russell

â&#x20AC;˘

m e a n s t h a t it d o e s n ' t f i n i s h s t r o n g l y . Remember

t o s t o p by

If y o u ' r e a f a n o f t h e d r y a c e r b i c f o r m o f s a t i r i c a l w i t B a r n e s h a s e m p l o y e d f r e -

Waterstone's

q u e n t l y , t h e n t h e r e a r e a f e w g e m s , b u t if n o t t h e n t h e r e is little r e a s o n t o r e a d it.

pus w h e r e 'Felix R e c o m mends'

Helen

a l l sorts o f

l a n d , a n d t h e i s l a n d s i m p l y reverts b a c k t o t h e q u a i n t p r i m i t i v e d a y s o f y o r e . T h e

tic s a g a s , this is t h e b o o k f o r y o u l Unfortunately,

to get them-

into

f o c u s shifts b a c k t o M a r t h a

I found the

particularly the references

p a n delivery

Sun/7

titles

2 0 % discount.

Cam-

a r e at a

/01 0 2 3456 0

Feli7 8 15 9:; <=><? 1999

FG<6H45

@ABCDE H

w 9<v Week

STA Quiz Night Win £50 cash or a

P o p Tarts

C l a s s i c party t u n e s

It d o e s n ' t m a t t e r w h a t

for the post-match

Friday night a t the

party. 9-1 a m , d B s

u n i o n is c a l l e d - it's

8 p m , d a Vine, s

Southside p u b quiz The quiz for regulars and

Group

newcomers

alike continues

a l w a y s c h e e s y a n d it

Standing Rm Only England v Scotland

RAG

ICU Community A c t i o n Group U R G E N T L Y NEEDS MINIBUS DRIVERS for the Tuesday and Thursday night s o u p runs.

today.

always sounds the

7pm

same.

Southside bar

T h e b a r o p e n s at 0. J C R

5 . 0 0 a n d the prematch build-up c o m mences at 7 . 0 0 .

6 lOprn, P o ' i e c t i l e

PhotoSoc

CAG

Fencing Club

Archery

g hijkl

`abcdeaf

KLMNOP

I I< HJ <6 H 45

/01 0 2 3456

15 9:; <=><? 1999 _ Feli7

a , i. p m

S o u p run, 8 . 1 5 p m

Union G y m , 1 2 p m

K u n g Fu Club

(Wu S h u K w a n )

{Wu S h u K w a n )

•

Southside G y m

Week's Basement

Centre)

K u n g Fu Club

4:30pm - 6:30pm

W i n e Tasting

So if you're over 21, have been driving in the U K for at least 2 years, and can spare a couple of hours on Tuesday or Thursday evenings, then . . .

4-30pm - 6:30pm

ICU Choir

6pm, dB's

R e h e a r s a l , 6.1 5 p m

C a n o e Club

Room 342, Mech

Practice session, 7 p m

Eng.

C o n t a c t N a d a a t lccag@flc.ac.uk

CAG S o u p r u n , 8.1 5 p m

B o o m o r Bust @ Project C l u b

Space @ B a r Rhumba £3 B4 11

Wembley Arena

Sneaker Pimps @ ULU £8.50

Free entry B 4 1 1 p m .

Deep- tech- disco-

E35-25

Sure t o be fantastic.

Drinks £1 e a c h , usual

funky-house grooves.

mix o f m u s i c ,

Excellent night.

QRSTUV WXY Z[\]^

East i s East m

D o not miss.

Fight C l u b

E p i c of t h e A m e r i c a n

Set in 7 0 ' s G l a s g o w

Violent, bloody, Brad

C i v i l W a r , h u g e critical

about a bloke w h o

Pitt stars i n this r e c -

sucess.

feels guilty a b o u t

o m m e n d e d film

family/ - - " \> '

C o m e d y Store, Piccadilly Circus

G l a m o r o u s d i sro a n d

C h e a p i s h entry o n a

funk d u b ,

•d f o r a

A U T U M N T E R M 1999

The O u t of Towners

Bowfinger A n a l l star cast o f c o m e d y greats.

'Pre-

C \ V " y

Virgin Fulham Rd.

4.00,

12.30, 2.40, 4.50

4.00, 7.00, 9.2 0

A river runs through it

Embarrasing llnesses

The B i g M a t c h

Top of t h e Pops

7 . 3 0 , ITV

Who wants to be a millionaire?

the 1 9 t h .

10.00, C 4

8.30. C 4

England a n d Scot-

8 . 0 0 ; ITV

M o r e cheesy chart

7.30,

B r a d Pitt stars i n a n

l a n d battl e it o u t i n a

C h r i s Tarrant m a k e s

hits f r o m t h e c o u n -

'unexceptional' fami-

Euro 2 0 0 0 qualifier.

some more people

try's t o p t e n .

Some explicit polaroids

Mnemonic

King Lear

Riverside Studios

Bnrhirnn

New Ambasadors

A new show about

A r e f r e s h i n g p l a y that

place a n d memory

tackles m a n y issues

previews today.

,-...2C -.3-5

6.30 9.00

EastEnders omnibus

Casualty 8 05, BBC 1 ":

. :'

C a t c h u po n the

a n d watch pretend

ever p o p u l a r s o a p .

.-.b-rfois.

ly d r a m a .

including socialism. eccentric.

F i n i s h e s Friday.

Higher than Babel

Artists b o o k f a i r

The

A b o u t the scientist's r o l e i n society. ishes t o d a y .

Undergraduate students should note that applications can only be accepted from those who have taken out a student loan this session. First and second year undergraduates are also required to apply for an additional hardship loan.

1.00, B B C 1

h a s t o o f f e r - stay i n

Bridewell

Random Hearts The new Harrison

Full-time home students (including EU students registered as "home" for fees purposes) are invited to apply for Access Funds this round.

Ford flick o p e n s o n

on1-..o'Kri

p o s t e r o u s a n d utterly

Trocadero

2.10, 5.30, 8.30

Resident A l i e n

ACCESS FUNDS

Sunday.

self-absorbed.'

ki l l i n g his p a l .

CARWASH (o> L o n don Astoria

lough

Ratcatcher

Ride with the Devil

Empire.

•

mnope daq rs rtu

Forms are available from Student Finance Office (334, Sherfield Building, South Ken) or /CU Reception (South Ken). Contact Student Finance (x. 58010), Kevin Butcher (x.58064) or Martin Thomson (x.48067).

Finth

Closing Date: 19 November

The Felix Crossword, by Turnip Henry Across 3.

Down

Vehicle

hits d o g s o n

S p i c e S p i c e . (6)

the floor. (7)

C h o c o l a t e g o d . (4)

M a r r i e d b a r b e r . (6)

Tasty s p e a k e r . (4)

Girl's songs, perhaps.

O n o ! Point to glass. (4)

(6)

Stuart

10. Playing

Sega

Etonian

(4)

mixes 7.

Latin. Joy! (7)

12 Sail

1 5 . W a l k to the stars. (4)

fuse in it. (5)

like hitting a 15

s y m b o l . (4)

"Bird-seed",

band.

1 6 V i t a l b e a n s . (7)

22. Only

1 7 A r r a n g e r has lillies o r

a butcher has

roses, initially, in fist. (7)

the s t o m a c h f o r it. (5) 23. Animal

sounds

false.

(4)

1 9 . Berry

a r e missing

2 0 . M i s t a k e love in A l i s t a i r

(5)

f o r b r e a t h i n g . (7)

27. Disagree ague?

about

2 6 . Used to suck warts up. (5)

Right. (5)

2 7 . A g o d d e s s o f art will

2 8 . Ineffectual c l o t h e s . (4)

e n t e r t a i n . (5)

3 0 . Bits o f t r o u s e r f o r the

D o o r j a m b , R h o m b i , Signet, Eliminate, L l a m a , Senator, Ancient C h i n a , O v e r

32. RA G

3 3 . R a c e a r o u n d a field (4)

3 8 . C o m p a i n t o the

p l a n t ? (6)

fish.

3 5 . Emotion up.

forth

Par-

bit

is like

from

going

q u i c k l y ; not s o u t h . (4) 3 6 . B e n d p e r v e r s i o n . (4)

a d i s e . (6) 41 . C a l l i n g

study

t h e g a r d e n . (4)

(4)

iota

Rome

u p a m d left

3 4 . Eastern

3 9 . Process s u m m a r y . (6) 4 0 . Build

i m p e r i a l b e c a u s e of a

3 5 . Sellers of b i r d s ? (7)

The

Hills, Trotski, N e c k t i e , O n e - H a n d e d , T h e r m a l s , T e q u i l a , Bedsit, Tenant, Hi-Hat.

church

l o o k s after o r p h a n . (6)

3 1 . Spiritual bear. (4)

N e w s a g e n t , T i c k e t , I n h a b i t , Q u i c h e , Euler, A p h r o d i s i a c s , A d m i t t e d , Totters.

Down:

29. A

b o o k s . (4-3) Bandicoot,

w e mistakenly

u s e d to m a k e beer. (7)

f r o m step b a c k w a r d s .

Orator,

around

i c a n s . (7)

2 5 . Cuttings

Talent, Intoner,

South

B e a t l e to b e n o n - M e x -

2 4 . S i g n a l to a s w e l l . (5)

Deserts, E a r l o be s , A Long Time A g o , J a c o b ,

Edward

s a n g . (7)

(5)

nick-

1 3 . Silly p e r s o n 1 d o c o n -

d o i n g very w e l l . (7)

Answers to 1156:

round

n a m e . (5)

1 7. Fall ill i n f a n g . N o t

21. Walkthrough

Two m e n please Victoria. (6)

1 4 . C o p i e s m o n k e y s . (4)

19. Sounds

1.3 y a r d s by 4 metres.

years. (4) 1 1. O l d

c a n keep the

r h y t h m . (4)

for

3 7 . Bullet f o r g a r d e n pest?

(4)

e v o l v i n g m o n a r c h . (7)

3 8 . C u t u p p o r k . (4)

And the winner is. B a c k in Issue 1 1 5 4 Felix g a v e y o u

bona

the c h a n c e t o w i n a p a i r o f E u r o -

dents. A n d their n a m e s ? They were

lines

(or i n d e e d a r e ) :

coach

passes

arou n d Europe. A massive

o n e month

number

fide

the

winners

c a n be

announced. But

first, t h e a n s w e r s .

what

unsurprisingly,

entry

that

right ( w h i c h

I saw may

every

Some-

got the answers

responses :

have had

•

t h i n g t o d o with t h e f a c t t h a t they w e r e c o n t a i n e d i n the

accompany-

T h e capital

of Hungary

•

A Eurolines

pass

unbelievably

e d , I was l o o k i n g f o r the f o l l o w i n g

•

way,

starts

cheap

outside

o f t h e Physics

d e p a r t m e n t , h i d d e n b e h i n d the liq-

i n g the w o n d r o u s i n v e n t i o n that is

uid nitrog en tank) o r e m a i l the e d i -

if t h e o f f i c i a l Felix w i n n e r o m e t e r ™ , I w a s s t u n n e d t o d i s c o v e r that t h e

tor [ f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k ] so that w e c a n

at a n

£159

t h e Felix o f f i c e ( s i t u a t e d in the por-

i m p o r t a n t stuff - t h e t a c a b i n s

t o the

winners identities. W e l l , after a p p l y -

you're under 2 6 .

Any-

h o w , just in c a s e y o u ' r e still i n t e r e s t -

down

Budapest.

right,

is i m p o r t a n t ) .

stu-

Congratulations - please c o m e to

S o , n o w t h a t ' s o u t o f the

ing blurb - see, y o u r t each er s w e r e reading

HtlWOSK

single

some-

College

Terrence Choi & Michelle Choi

of p e o p l e e n t e r e d t h e c o n t e s t , a n d , finally,

Imperial

G o t h e n b e r g is s i t u a t e d i n S w e -

winner

wasn't

den

office, a n d

someone

was

from the

in f a c t a p a i r o f

arrange for you t o to receive prizes.

For

see p a g e 2 2 .

chances

your

to win,

Team Bo Bo Goes to Brighton '99

U n f o r t u n a t e l y P a u l m a d e full u s e o f his p i l o t like r e a c t i o n s a n d v e r y lit-

At th e c r a c k o f d a w n

tle u s e o f t h e b r a k e s . H e is y e t t o

the intrepid

two, Paul a n d M a r k , g o t out o f b e d

u n d e r s t a n d that ninety-seven

a n d h e a d e d f o r t h e B o ' [short f o r

old

cars

B o a n g e r e s , City & G u i l d s C o l l e g e

accelerate

Union's

vehicles.

garage. biggest

motorised

mascot]

year

are not meant

to out

a n d overtake

modern

w a s the

After a r e m a r k a b l y s m o o t h trip,

d a y of B o ' s year, t h e

B o ' arrived in B r i g h t o n to b e greet-

Last

Sunday

e d by a B o o m a l a k a . T h i s y e a r a l l

Brighton run. A l o n g w i t h five h u n d r e d

t h e m o t o r i z e d m a s c o t s m a d e it t o

other

veteran cars, B o ' h e a d e d to Hyde

Brighton a n d the R S M even joined

Park

C&G

a n d the starting

line.

Paul

f o r dinner. C o p i o u s quanti-

knew he h a d forgotten s o m e t h i n g

ties o f w i n e w e r e d r u n k , e s p e c i a l l y

until a s i l v e r c a r s u d d e n l y p u l l e d u p

by M i k e t h e D e r r i c k rider . T h e s t o -

in f r o n t o f h i m . O u t j u m p e d P r o f e s -

ries o f h i s h a n g o v e r

sor Briscoe, the D e a n of C & G . N o

endary.

wonder

Bo' was going

will b e l e g -

Thanks should b e extended to

s o well -

Paul t h e B o ' driver a n d M i k e the

we'd forgotten the passenger.

Derrick

Eight o ' c l o c k w a s B o ' s starting

r i d e r f o r a l ! t h e i r w o r k in

getting the vehicles ready,

t i m e a n d h e s e t o f f f r o m t h e start line d o i n g h i s o w n i m p r e s s i o n o f

twenty-five y e a r s b e t w e e n t h e c o n -

nine

I believe the D e a n

would

sor

Briscoe

for being

Profes-

willing to

in a n

s t r u c t i o n o f t h e t w o m a s c o t s , they

to s a y t h e j o u r n e y w a s u n e v e n t f u l .

s p e n d the d a y freezing in the b a c k

attempt to catch u p with C l e m , the

h a d learnt h o w t o m a k e engines -

What

RSM

so B o ' h a d n o chance.

i m p r e s s e d with B o ' s r o a d

three-legged

mascot.

horses

Unfortunately

in t h e

d i d s a y is

he w a s holding.

B o ' a n d Stuart

Hamilton for

o r g a n i s i n g a fantastic dinner.

U Jazz and Rock presents...

IMPERIAL'S NEW SPORTS CENTRE

TEXKET

n )

s s

g s h d y d

when : 12pm, thursday 18 november where : union dining hall (on the first floor of the union building) contact tim trailor [ dpcs@ic.ac.uk ] for details

ALONE (and

In DBs on : Thursday 18

November

First band on stage @8pm FREE!!!!!!

Reserves show the rest how it's done Football - 5ths and 6ths Sat 6 t h N o v 1 9 9 9

a g a i n but failed to break through.

School O fPharmacy

now

U C L VI

Instead,

IC V

m i d f i e l d w o r k f r o m J P in particular.

I C VI

doesque

Animesh,

halfway

with

brilliance

Rival-

ran

from

(with t h e b a l l f o r o n c e ! ) ,

c l i c k e d into g e a r with

great

His r e w a r d w a s a c h a n c e to pick After

midweek

break

for

the up the ball o n right, drive infield,

This fixture s a w t h e r e t u r n o f t h e

thrust t h r o u g h t h e h o l e in t h e i r b a c k

t e a m , with n o m a t c h o n W e d n e s -

and

m i g h t y sixths t o t h e g r o u n d w h e r e

line a n d l o b b e d his s h o t o v e r t h e

day,

sailed over the k e e p e r into the far

thrashed

it w a s b a c k

to the serious

let fly a f a n t a s t i c shot

corner

for a

which

man-of-the-match

the U C L whipping

k e e p e r i n t o t h e net. A n o t h e r o w n

business of the league

b o y s 7 - 1 i n t h e c u p last s e a s o n .

g o a l p u t us 5 u p a n d t h e g a m e lost

day.

T h e j o u r n e y w a s a c o n t e s t i n itself -

al! e d g e . With 2 0 m i n s to g o , J a m e s

W i t h a r e c o r d o f 2 w i n s , 1 loss

M o r e was t o c o m e , a s D i n o ' s per-

a b r e a k d o w n in c o m m u n i c a t i o n left

d e c i d e d t o start p l a y i n g a n d s c o r e d

so far, w e n e e d e d to put t o g e t h e r

s i s t e n c e o n t h e left l e d t o a s h a r p

us w i t h o u t

a h a t r i c k . B l a t a n t l y o f f s i d e (their ref.

cross to the centre, where

s t art e d untidily, w i t h t h e w i n d a n d

was

t a b l e . S O P w e r e last y e a r ' s w h i p -

man"

wet

c a m e f r o m s m a r t p l a y by M a t t o n

ping boys, l o s i n g all but 2 o f their

expert finish for 3-0.

t h e left, w h o , a b n g

games,

a keeper.

pitch

causing

T h e match

problems for

both sides. M a r k , o u r n e w m i d f i e l d er

(and a games

editor

o f this

awful)

f o r his first,

Luis, w o r k e d

hard

no.

two

with R o b a n d all g a m e

even

o n Satur-

winning

run of victories

to climb the

fancied

our

goal,

Lovell

waited

were

a n d it w a s

2-0.

"Space-

to apply a n

n o wcruising, a n d

c h a n c e s o f b o o s t i n g that g o a l dif-

t h o u g h t the g a m e w a s w o n by half

ference.

time.

esteemed paper, might I add) fero-

though out of position. Before n o .

ciously went f o r the b o b . . . knees of

3 , they p u l l e d o n e b a c k . A l o n g b a l l

their

from the back went over the other-

minibus t o travel f r o m South K e n

o n d h a l f it w a s a l l S O P , w i t h o n l y

wise excellent centre b a c k

to T u r k e y S t r e e t , just b y t h e M 2 5

great work

in N o r t h

b a c k , a l o n g with D i j , skippy a n d

players,

sliding

in f r o m a l l

angles a n d nearly always w i n n i n g the

ball!

After

p r o b i n g their b o x

pairing

of t h e t w o A l e x ' s t o first-rate s t a n d i n

After

taking

hours

L o n d o n , w e w e r e in n o

Unfortunately

we took o u r

f o o t off t h e p e d a l , a n d in t h e s e c -

b y B u z z F o s t e r a t left

several times, IC s c o r e d albeit by

keeper Leon. T h e slippery wet ball

m o o d t o slip u p , a n d started t h e

Dave

an o w n g o a l from a D a n M cross.

fell f r o m his g l o v e l e s s h a n d s i n t o t h e

game

one

W e scored again soon

afterwards,

p a t h o f t h e i r o n r u s h i n g striker w h o

ing t o C e n t r e Back while S o l w a s

p o i n t i n g result in t h e e n d , as w e

a D a n W penalty f r o m a foul o n

g e n t l y s t r o k e d it i n . F u r i o u s a t this

away, giving " t i g e r " Ro b free reign

just

Dan M . O K ,so perhaps w e h a d

l a p s e , A l e x Jekyll n' H y d e w e n t i n

at right b a c k . T h i s s o o n p r o v e d t o

break.

been lucky s o f a r but o u r third w a s

search of a g o a l , steaming forward

b e a g r e a t m o v e , w i t h t h e 1 st g o a l

n e e d t o g o h i g h e r if p r o m o t i o n is

pure class, D a n M p a s s e d t o D a n

c o m i n g from D i n o ' h e a d , the a g e -

going

W w h o f l i c k e d it b a c k a n d t h e s h o t

nowhere

s e a l e d it

ing beast f e e d i n g off a g r e a t c r o s s

lovely w a r m

hit t h e t o p c o r n e r .

with his t h i r d , a s i m p l e n u t m e g a n d

f r o m T i g e r , w h i c h left t h e i r k e e p e r

In t h e s e c o n d

half t h e D a n a n d D a n s h o w s t a r t e d

Jonah

Lomu

before

but getting

James

t h e last k i c k o f t h e g a m e .

brightly with s k i p p y return-

flapping

a n d helpless.

1 -0. IC

preventing

S O P header.

never

the

than the

So, a

g o t started points,

to look

game

disap-

after the

but standards

likely.

Luckily,

5thteam helped

bath

keep

after spirits

high...

Ultimate projectile is force to be reckoned with Ultimate Frisbee F r i e n d l y Fire T o u r n a m e n t

W e d n e s d a y 3 r d N o v e m b e r s a w the

t h r e e p o i n t s o n t h e trot. J e z k i n d l y

o n their 5 0 t h a t t e m p t , they finally

made

managed

an appearance,

b r u s h e s f i r m l y f i x e d in o u r m i n d s ,

first g a m e s o f t h e n e w y e a r f o r t h e

D i s c D o c t o r s (the I m p e r i a l

taking them

College

a n d with

finished

whitewashing a p a r t with

M e . W e finally beat t h e m 1 3-6.

a friend!y

fire

Park.

tournament

Kings

and

U C L w e r e u p next. " J a b b a t h e

UCL

s t e p p e d u p t o play, a n d a s t h e r e

Tat"

w e r e s o m a n y o f u s , w e split i n t o

a n d t i g h t d e f e n c e , w i t h " T h e Ital-

two

ian

teams

- a Darkside,

a n da

Lightside.

Darkside

whose

played

Kings

first,

recent a d d i t i o n w a s a n ex

Discdoctors

player

( a n d ISE s t u -

Martin

into t h e o p p o s i -

tions'

end zone.

Kings

replied

with

Unfortunately t w o cheeky

solid

Our

first m a t c h

against

of the d a y was

U C L . W i t h i n t h e first h a l f

to h i m .

O u r final a n d most c h a l l e n g ing

match

w a s against

ourselves

of C a t c h

Astro-fuck having g o n e to work w e

started o u r p l u m m e t t o

depths of despair. Within 15

could we be doing so badly?

passes

1 2 - 7 to the

(?). O K a g a i n s t t h e D a r k s i d e . W i t h

the stack a n d w a s r e w a r d e d nice

a little

hour we were up5 - 0 .The arriva!

minutes w e w e r e level at 7 a l l , h o w

with

perhaps

Lightside.

n e w w a s the

although

a chance,

with t h e final score

The Lightside

m a k i n g s o m e v e r y tasty cuts f r o m

After

T h e an hour the g a m e w a s c a p p e d at

subs). W e started off w e l l , but r e a l ly

couldn't

be arsed.

T h e final

straw c a m e w h e n B a b y s u b b e d off

h a m m e r i n g of U C L w a s short a n d

1 1 points, with t h e score

U C L . All w e n e e d e d was 2 straight

g a m e they g a v e us their W a t e r b o y

b a g e l t h e m , w e still t r o u n c e d t h e m

points

13-4.

c a m e from a quick response to o u r

quit with the s c o r e at 6 - 2 to t h e

impending

Darkside.

a n d although

we didn't

F i n a l l y , b e f o r e it g o t t o o d a r k to

play, w e p l a y e d

Although

n o t really

still b e a t t h e m

p o i n t s . T h e D a r k s i d e felt t h e y h a d

had their c h a n c e a n d promptly t o o k

practice

victory.

doom.

T h e first

But

their

the Lightside.

response

a match, we

they stole the g a m e f r o m us. 1 1 -

6-2, a n d Worship

and Martin demonstrated makes

to seal

10-9 to

were forced to p a y iron-man (no

sweet,

d e n t ) . W e o p e n e d with a g o r g e o u s cut f r o m

u p his e x t r e m e l y

Stallion",

some

The Darkside

The

kept

storming

u n f a i r b u t w e still m a n a g e d a w i n

1-2 c o m -

bos from " W a t e r b o y " a n d Worship

Regents

stand

zone for a point.

Kings,

Ultimate Frisbee team) in the f o r m

a d o r i n g fans with s o m e

t o h u c k it i n t o t h e e n d p l a y a n d s o l i d d e f e n c e . T h e y d i d n ' t

perfect,

that

because

w a s just t o o g o o d a n d

10 to U C L . The

second

Kings.

i n j u r e d a n d in t h e true spirit o f the

a replacement.

match

w a s against

disappoint o u r

that w e

A special mention has to g o out to

Constant

geously

W e didn't

With

Pressure

managed

w h o coura-

5 minutes o f a

m a t c h , t h e n a d o p t e d his p o s i t i o n o f the m o n t h - the sideline.

(continued a

from

back

w i t h i n t h e first t w e n t y three

goals

J^g

page)

l i g h t n i n g start w i t h

a h a t tric k

minutes. A l l

illustrated

C^ggj

his g o a l

\\ n

m $

5_ ICSM Football

Football

scoring prowess but the pick of the

b u n c h w a s t h e t h i r d set u p b y a n u n s e l f i s h p a s s off t h e g o a l p o s t b y

IC I

Geography

Royal H o l l o w a y I

teacher.

Carried over from

Saturday

all o v e r the p l a c e . J e z W e l c h l e d the w a y by flying in w h e r e

3 0 / 1 0 / 9 9 (sorry f o r t h e d e l a y )

fear to tread,

The t e a m the relaxed expecting a w a l k o v e r but were b r o k e n u p by

Another day, another g a m e a n d

RUMS

another

ICSM I

textbook

short

opposition.

corner

From

by the

t h e restart

firsts.

victory

f o r the mighty

T h e fine

form

recent

were b a c k into a c t i o n a n d attack-

weeks c o n t i n u e d straight f r o m the

ICSM

ing f o r m as the G e o g r a p h y

k i c k off. R e s o l u t e

streak by b e a t i n g R U M S at Turkey

teacher

d e f e n d i n g , fine

lowed

b y t h e rest

mates

w h o showed

and continued

Street.

Formed

their

winning

angels

a n d w a s ably

teamwork

that

defining feature

fol-

of his t e a m the passion has been

of the season so

far.

as a result o f t h e

I C S M defence fared

The

well

g o t t h e just d e s e r t s f o r his p h e n o m -

p a s s i n g in t h e m i d f i e l d a n d v a r i e d

enal midfield vision a n d individual

movement

skill with a h a t trick f o r e v e r l o g g e d

c o m b i n e d t o leave the boys from

in a l l o u r m i n d s . A f t e r a t e x t b o o k

Holloway

s h o r t c o r n e r s trike , o u r m a i n m a n

s e c o n d half, w i t h t h e w i n d i n o u r

er, I C S M h a d t h e u p p e r h a n d i n

I C S M t e a m l o s t its w a y s o m e w h a t

d r i b b l e d p a s t 5 m e n a n d s tru ck t h e

s a i l s , F o u l s t o n e w h i p p e d in a c o r -

the

as the g a m e

b a l l firmly p a s t t h e k e e p e r i n t o t h e

ner that f o u n d t h e b o o t o f Rich.

after s o m e clever w i n g play result-

physical battle, but then

left c o r n e r .

T h e resulting shot c u r l e d past the

e d in J o n a t h a n K e n n e d y p u t t i n g i n

the g a m e

bemused

a n excellent cross for Kash A k h t a r

to h e a d h o m e . T h e lead was d o u -

fumble

and

girls

The crowd started

went

throwing

wild their

Holloway

knickers o n the field, a s G e o g r a -

the

maintained

third. G i l e s tamely

integrity

sev-

e n t h , r o o f i n g t h e b a l l i n t o t h e n et. A

sensational

ance

worthy

against

team

perform-

of the

scoreline

fired

a n d organised

forwards

i n a d a z e . Early

p h y t e a c h e r c a m e b a c k t o strike h i s scored a

roof

from . the

in t h e

keeper

into

of the net. T h e team its

impenetrable

the final

until

whistle,

T h i s r e s u l t l e a v e s t h e firsts i n a position

league:

Bring

the

Royal

Free a n d

against a potent attack a n d Eam-

U C H , R U M S h a d the capability t o

mon

p r o v i d e tricky o p p o s i t i o n .

neuter

first h a l f

a n d took

Howev-

the lead

Rabie

in particular

the R U M S

helped

strikers. T h e

degenerated

into a

wrapped

u p w i t h 2 0 m i n u t e s left

Kash

Akhtar

pounced

on a

by t h e R U M S k e e p e r a n d

b l e d 1 0 minutes later w h e n

Jere-

back

loose

d e s p a i r i n g d e f e n d e r s into the net.

Welch

pounced

home from close

on a

range.

physical

in t h e s e c o n d

heeled the ball beyond the

RUMS near

The g a m e b e c a m e a lot m o r e

BUSA

o n t h e rest o f t h e

half

with

lots o f l a t e t a c k l e s f l y i n g i n f r o m

country!

team.

between

ball after a c o r n e r a n d t h u n d e r e d

h o l d i n g o u t f o r a f i n e victory.

strong

merger

scored

a solitary

the e n d after

goal

goalmouth

s c r a m b l e , b u t by t h e n I C S M h a d the

game

w e l ! a n d truly

in the

bag.

IN BRIEF Ladies Rugby Bart's

IC V i r g i n s

walkover

Ladies Football

Tennis

Netball GKT

ICI

disappointing

s tennis s e a s o n b e g a n with a

Magic

Hani

Despite

a n d Captain skills

displaying

great

impressive

victories,

IC I

QMW

Julien

in their

O u r strong

10 player team

held

B e c a u s e o f o u r s u p e r i o r skills

A n d n a t u r a l ability, this w e e k ' s

rain

R u g b y m a t c h w a s t h e e a s i e s t yet.

windswept,

A n t o n i s were severely c r u s h e d by

start

Trie s w e r e

w a s a t least 8 f o o t t a l l . G r e a t . T h i s

Royal

throughout the match.

S c o r e d left, right a n d c e n t r e ,

m e a n t that Rachel h a d n o c h a n c e

ents.

W i t h every

of g e t t i n g r e b o u n d s a n d t h e r e f o r e

a g a i n after the d o u b l e s b u t t h e set

Hard

A l e x h a d the novel task o f m a r k i n g

lost i n o n e o f t h e d o u b l e s

d a z z l i n g in d e f e n c e a n d m i d f i e l d -

player

In t h e s q u a d s c o r i n g

a r r i v e d a t t h e c o u r t just a s t h e

start.

started.

T h e scene

desolate

was

a n d the G A

M u l t i p l e points a n d n o injuries.

b o t h t h e G S a n d t h e G A in t h e c i r -

P a s s i n g skills g r e a t l y i m p r o v e d ,

cle. Well d o n e Alex. A t half

E n a b l i n g a fine p e r f o r m a n c e .

the scores w e r e evens. But then the

Holloway's T h e score

Olivier a n d

"bizarre"

tal-

w a s all even

proved

to b e fatal.

'Dumb

friend

of IC's c a m p a i g n

domination

von Crick,

Kaur

Hedge,

a n d Frenchie

were

and Dumber',

and The Mayor

continuous

R H U L w o n 7-6 i n sets. Match

a n d showed

Helga

ers

F i n a l S c o r e : I C 3-3 R H U L b u t

time

well with a n excellent

the g a m e

skill.

Girl-

showed

It d i d n ' t

take

much for the talented Clark

Kent

D r o p p e d balls were a thing

curse

O f the past - all that training hey!

a g a i n a n d w e fell b e h i n d 1 5 - 2 2

quickly turned into a n i g h t m a r e f o r

U n f o r t u n a t e l y , w e c o u l d n ' t stay o u t

with 1 5 m i n u t e s t o g o . S o m e f a b -

U C H . Fielding the s a m e t e a m that

QMW

T h e r e a l l d a y . Lots o f l o v e

ulous

h a d lost 6 - 0 last year, U C H w e r e

T h e M a y o r s first g o a l o f t h e s e a -

centre (Dorothy, Becky a n d Paula)

once

son

a n d s o m e hot shooting from those

Chris a n d our G e r m a n

starlets R e b e k a h a n d S a r a h s a w us

Jan

pull

their

We kicked your

butts!!I

Bart's.

o f t h e third quarter

play

it b a c k .

trekking

y r

from

s tru ck

t h e girls i n t h e

out to

week

we're

W y e . . .fingers

crossed.

Sports players

beware!

Felix's c r a c k t e a m of sports

r e p o r t e r s will b e a t H a r l i n g t o n on Wednesday

- so wear your

best kit!

one

more whitewashed.

and Christoph each opponents, game

each.

Playboy prodigies thrashed

dropping Medic

only Jason

beat

t h e (larger

than

life)

defenders. H e r 2 adde d to

meant

w e w e r e 3 nil u p at

half time. C l a r k ' s final g o a l w a s shortly f o l l o w e d

by a lucky

shot

f r o m t h e o p p o s i t i o n b u t J a z z y Jeff brou g ht the score t o 5 - 1 , finally

d e c i d e d to d o the s a m e only after

striking o n target. G o a l i e

h a v i n g lost t h e first set. In d o u b l e s ,

held

our

excellent dives saving the day.

German

d u o crushed

their

o p p o n e n t s while Stuart a n d Remy

her ground

G'n' T

with h e r

It w a s a t r e s m a g n i f i q u e

f i n i s h e d t h e j o b with a c l e a n 6 - 0 ,

formance

6-0.

Shady Final S c o r e : IC 6-0 U C H

well

style.

all round

Ladies

walked

and away

perThe with

SPORT

SCOREBOARD

Imperial rack up the points

BADMINTON

Rugby

IC 1 st