HUNGAPPA
FR EE
rivcollsrc
Made by students, for students.
Š2014
!
TERM 3, ISSUE 8
Editor in Chief Brandon Harry Graphic Designer Tyhe Reading Printery CSU Print Photographer Keelan Hogie Website facebook.com/rivcollSRC Email Hungappa@Rivcoll.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/hungappa CONRTIBUTORS Tom Butler Rachel Tant Laura Boyd Selene Castillo Anon.
CONTENTS Carnival Wrap-Up - 3 Songs - By Tom Butler - 8 Just Be Quiet - By Rachel Tant - 11 Fashion Wonders and Blunders - By Laura Boyd - 18 Protesting - By Laura Boyd - 23 USA To Aus - By Selene Castillo - 24 Multitasking - By Rose Marel - 26
CLASSIC HUNG Letter From The Editor - 3 Crow Bar Photos - 14 Stalker Space and Vox Pop - 20 Ask Patty - 21 Hungappa Fungappa - 28
DISCLAIMER Hungappa is a Rivcoll SRC publication and the opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of the editor, staff or student members. Association by person or companies with ‘Hungappa’ does not necessarily reflect the religious, political, sexual, or racial beliefs of those parties. The editor and Rivcoll SRC do not accept responsibility for any omission, errors, misconceptions or the views and opinions contained in any article accepted for publication. The editor reserves the right to edit or reject any articles submitted for publication.
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Taste - 31
Deadline All submissions for the next edition of the HUNGAPPA must be submitted to the Editor via the official email address of the magazine. All submissions must have been submitted by 6th August 2014.
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Happy Issue 8! I don’t really have much to say about day to day Uni life like I normally do but I feel like I should respond to the Letter to the Editor that I have received from Edward Nygma (pseud.). I would firstly like to contest his argument about the quality of our Hungappa contributors because I feel that these students are a great addition to our magazine and it would be rather boring without them. I will however concede that at times there is a shortage of content and that, at times, our magazine might seem to be “light on”, but I also think that as time goes by and our Hungappa grows and becomes more professional we will not have gaps in our content and
we will be able to deliver some great, student written articles that will our student body will love to read. The Hungappa is and will remain the number one way of engaging with the student body of CSU Wagga Wagga and I think any student who contributes or reads our publication should be proud of their efforts and their contribution to University culture. Thanks! Brandon Harry Editor-In-Chief hungappa@rivcoll.com
LETTER TO THE EDITOR I guess I owe some people an apology. First to the Hunguppa contributors, I should clarify that my bagging out the lack of content was written pre-issue-6 release (AKA that one with the noodles) which was probably the best edition up until that point (funny how things improve over time, like fine wine, cheese and Robert Downey Jr.) and then issue 7 was pretty great too. Particular props to Kate Harcourt for her piece, which I absolutely loved. If the current quality of contributions keeps up I’ll be pretty psyched. Second, to the Art students whose career choice I belittled, I realise that “Arts” is a general term, and that not ALL of you are going to end up jobless and serving fries. Teaching for example is always a good career, though I am worried for those Liberal Arts students who actually hate politics. What are you even doing? That brings me non-too smoothly to today’s big question; do you think you’re a good person? Because in general I like to assume that people are inherently GOOD, but I understand that this can’t be said about everyone. Some people assume wrongly that people are bad (you would too if your family had been attacked simply for being them) and some people ARE actually bad (Hitler anyone?). In generally a person’s “alignment” can be broken into 3 groups of 3, as exemplified by the meme that flew around about 10 years ago. Good, Neutral and Evil, broken into Lawful, Neutral and Chaotic. Good, neutral and evil are pretty self-explanatory, but the subgroups may be more difficult to understand. Basically Lawful means they follow the law to the letter, whatever the consequences, neutral don’t care either way, or chaotic will usually go for the most aggressive method. I would say that most people you or I know
are neutral good. I’ll break the Law assuming I can get away with it and it doesn’t hurt anyone, but if anyone is going to be negatively affected by my law-breaking I won’t do it. If I speed on an open highway, yes it’s against the law, but does that make me a bad person? Probably not… right? But this idea opens the floor to many other “ethical dilemmas”, basically if I can feel okay about speeding because no one is getting hurt, can I also steal food from a place which is insured to feed my family? Can I steal a car to rush someone to a hospital? Can I kill one person to save a bus full of others? When does the slope become too slippery and where do we draw the line between “right” and “wrong”? But this might be getting to deep for a university magazine. I only ask because I’m never sure whether I’M a good person. I’m sure if I ask my friends they’d tell me to rack off, but they’d also say yes, but how can they judge my character so readily if I can’t and I’m the one who knows me best? Not that I think I’m a bad person, I just kind of do what I want, which probably isn’t so good in the end. Also, is lying a bad thing? I know the bible tells you not to, but that’s Old Testament stuff, and I’m not sure how that stacks up. Because if it is I may ACTUALLY be the devil, because I seriously live in a well of lies and secrets so deep I can’t even see the sun anymore. I need to go on one of those spiritual quests to find myself, but I won’t because I’m pretty sure when I arrive my spirit animals going to be a freaking naked mole rat or something. Sincerely yours, Edward Nygma.
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CARNIVAL WRAP-UP! Wow guys, what a massive day! I just wanted to thank everyone who turned up on the day, it was great to see a response like that to an event in is first year! The SRC would like to convey our thanks to all clubs and associations who had stalls, ran events and helped make the day a success! There were many winners on the day. Congratulations to: Tanian Naude and Maddy Hay for taking out the Wife Carrying Our very own Charlie Porter was nothing but impressive in the food eating competition The BushPigs and BushSows combined teams were successful in the closely contested Touch and Netball competitions.
As the SRC begins to make plans to continue this event into the future we are always interested in student feedback! So let us know what we nailed and what we stuffed up on. You can send your feedback to our Facebook page (/rivcollsrc) or email (hungappa@rivcoll.com) all entries will go into the draw to win a $100 voucher for their thoughts!
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Share your CSU student experience to WIN! It’s competition time and we want to hear all about your CSU student experience - tell us, in 30 seconds or 100 words, what you love about life at CSU and you could win an iPad Air! To be in the running for some great prizes, all you need to do is submit a 30 second video of yourself or 100 words and high-resolution selfie, telling us what you love about life at CSU and why. Entries will be judged on creativity, originality and most importantly, what you love about life at CSU. How can I be in the running to win? Tell us about how you’re ‘living it’ at CSU. What do you love about studying pharmacy, or living on campus at Bathurst, or studying online or part time, or learning on the job as a paramedic student? Or tell us what you love about being in the Netball club, or the animation club, or the Dental Students’ Association. And whatever you love about life at CSU, don’t forget to tell us why you love it. Successful entries will be shared on the ‘You’re Living It’ website and CSU social media to promote the CSU student experience – what better way to show off CSU than through the eyes of our students?! There’s still time to enter - BUT HURRY - the competition closes on Friday 1 August 2014. For more competition details and how to enter, visit the 2014 Student Experience Competition page on student.csu. For more details, contact Samantha Neal, Student Communications Officer at studentnews@csu. edu.au
Top tips Be quick – Aim for a 30 second video, or 100 words plus a high resolution picture of yourself. Be bright – We’re looking for well-lit, high-quality video and pictures (phone cameras are fine). Be clear – We need to hear you, so check your entry for background noise and distractions. Be visual – Try to include some of what your life at CSU entails in your clip or picture. So if you love learning in CSU’s fabulous veterinary clinics, shoot there and show us what you’re talking about.
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SONGS What kind of year has it been for you so far in regards to commercial music? Are you a star fm surfer, triple j weekend warrior, billboard believer, channel v viewer, or do you fall somewhere in between all four? Either way, you’ve probably noticed something that distinguishes the last six months from the early days of last year: we lack a sure-fire, one-size-fits-all hit, à la daft punk’s “get lucky”. Hell, we can’t even claim pharrell’s ubiquitous “happy” as our own, as it officially dropped in the perilous december days of ’13. So, what’s the remedy to this? I suppose all we can do is simply compile the most likely (yet totally subjective) candidates so far for song of the year and desperately try to order them numerically in hope of… i don’t know, feeling better about the fact that daft punk have left us to fend for ourselves for at least a few more summers. Thus, i present to you…
The Top 5 Commercial Tracks of the First Half of 2014
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Seasons (Waiting on You) by Future Islands
This is sure to be the least heard of track on this list, unless you’ve been paying any particular attention to the budding indie/synth pop scene of 2014 that Future Islands have been spearheading. That aside, the remarkable live performance they delivered of this song back in March on The Late Show with David Letterman (which I strongly suggest you check out) ensured this track’s longevity online, along with a plethora of fantastic gifs revolving around the lead singer’s ebullient dancing. Can you blame him? Best part: Listening to the simple bass line and glittery synth give way to that epic wall of sound at the chorus makes me smile every time.
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By Tom Butler
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Chandelier by Sia
You thought that was Rihanna singing for the first couple of seconds, didn’t you? Don’t be ashamed, I totally thought that. That weirdly melodic Barbadian intonation that kicks off after that electronic drum fill fooled me completely, but then that static-ridden, “1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3--3” made me realise this was someone else entirely. I wasn’t sure who, but I was intrigued, and by the time that everloving wail of a chorus hit I knew I didn’t care. I was hooked. Sia isn’t exactly someone I would’ve imagined to be possessive of that ability, the intangible something that entrances you on first listen and makes you push repeat endlessly, yet here it is. Beyoncé would call it being a diva; I couldn’t care less what you call, I love it. Best part: Somehow managing to hit that dog frequency pitch with the words “chandelier” and “exist” while still sounding enticing is nothing short of amazing.
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Down on My Luck by Vic Mensa.
You’d probably recognise the music video to this one before the tune itself, which has been making the rounds on Channel V and late-night Rage. Vic Mensa, typically a rapper but solid here in spoken/sing-song mode, stumbles around a crowded club, encountering the many pitfalls of a drunken night out (fist fights, spiked drinks, projectile vomiting etc.), reverting back to the start of his evening Groundhog Day-style after each mishap until, finally, he has a perfect run through, emerging victorious to light up what Dad would call a “funny cigarette.” It’s a joyously clever conceit to pack into three and a half minutes, made all the more engaging by Mensa’s effortless charm and rapid-fire delivery over the surging beat, which sounds like a forgotten Disclosure cut. As far as club tracks go, the sentiment of being “down on your luck” is an unusual yet winning notion, though in this context it’s almost a paradox: the success of this song has made Mensa one of the luckiest guys out there. Best part: Trying desperately to keep up with the streamof-consciousness flow of lyrics when the vocals first kick in.
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Move That Dope (featuring Pharrell Williams, Pusha T & Casino) by Future
Further blurring the boundary between rapping and singing that more prominent artists like Kanye and Drake have already shattered, Future is the dude that’s been sitting patiently on the fringe of mainstream rap music for a few years now. For those who are unfamiliar with him, allow me to summarise: he deals in narcoleptic, trap-based hip hop, he has an Auto-Tune box where his larynx should be and he’s engaged to Ciara (not really relevant but, hey, good for him). That said, if the mere mention of Auto-Tune tends to make you throw up in your mouth a little bit, fear not, as this infectious track finds the Haiti born performer adopting a rare, gritty flow free of any digital vocal affectations. It’s a refreshing change from his usual output, though hardly the most satisfying element of the song, which is a toss-up between Pusha T’s intact cocaine rapping, Pharrell’s hilarious boasts and the weird low timbre of the synths (produced by Mike WiLL Made It, of Miley Cyrus’s “We Can’t Stop”). Best part: Pharrell’s line about his “Gandalf hat” makes me want to slam-dance so damn hard.
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Problem (featuring Iggy Azalea) by Ariana Grande
Even considering my earlier complaints about this year lacking an obvious “Get Lucky”-style hit, you would have to be living an impressively insular and joy-averse life to think (or hope) that this track wouldn’t at least get a mention, let alone be the top of a list deliberating popular music. Regardless of your feelings towards big, crunchy sax beats (I love them), Igg Azalea (I hate her) and Ariana Grand (I… really don’t care one way or another, and I still have no idea how you pronounce her name) this song stands a cut above any oversaturated piece of pop that has permeated your every move this year. I mean, I know every lyric to this thing, including Iggy’s ridiculous yet undeniably hooky verse, and somehow I don’t hate myself for it. I don’t think there’s a more definitive sign of a classic pop cut than that.
Five Other Under-the-Radar Tracks to Check Out Danny Glover [Remix] (featuring Nicki Minaj) by Young Thug. If you don’t find the idea of Minaj trying to steal Jessica Biel away from Justin Timberlake absurdly awesome, then this isn’t for you. There’s just no pleasing some people. Little Fang by Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks. This is like a nursery rhyme written by a child that grew up on Mars, filtered through Tim Burton’s subconscious and rendered in schlocky black-and-white, sung by Muppets. It’s incredible. Navigator by Real Estate. It’s like these guys took an Instagram pic of a mid-afternoon summer day and ran it through a machine that converts images to music. This is what sunlight sounds like. Repeat Pleasure by How to Dress Well. Hey, it’s 2014! Last decade, this kind of clever, falsetto-driven R&B was R. Kelly and Usher’s wheelhouse. Now it’s a bunch of unshaven white dudes with synthesizers. Sounds great, though. Sanctified (featuring Kanye West & Big Sean) by Rick Ross. Why does Kanye West keep letting Big Sean say things? Because, on rare occasions, he comes up with a hook so indelibly catchy that it pretty much carries the track.
Best part: Arguably all of it is the best part, but goddamn is it gratifying to hear a killer saxophone riff tear through the airways. Also, Grande’s lilting, breathy “you-hoo-hoooo” at the end of her first couple of lines is killer.
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CONTRIBUTION RATES Article of 500 words or Poem - $20 Feature Article/ Cover - $50 Full page Graphic Art or Design - $40 Email submissions to Brandon Harry - hungappa@rivcoll.com
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JUST BE QUIET By Rachel Tant
Just Be Quiet
and grabbing his chest, he fell backwards.
Rachael Dianne.
My heart pounded faster, as his moved slower. A cold shadow fell upon us as my mother cried in panic. She knelt to him before calling the hospital. Confusion spread across my face as my eye brows tensed. The sun was no longer colourful; it was as if all the life in the room disappeared.
It is the year 1980. For 35 years, my dreams have been haunted with the same image. Three dark figures surround a white light. With blunt objects in their hands, they move towards it fiercely. The image is always blurred, but what is so disturbing, is the mix of red that follows through. Suddenly, the shadowed men vanish, the white light dissolves into the darkness, and I wake, screaming. Night after night, this image haunts my mind and until five days ago, I always considered it to be a nightmare. It was the year 1945. I was 6 years old and the town was celebrating the end of world war two. I remember my parent’s joy, because it meant that my older brother, Joshua, wouldn’t be threatened any longer for not having to fight in the war. Although, I sometimes think Joshua would have liked to go, anything to get away from the school bullies that tormented him. My parents danced around our small lounge room, their happiness outshining the golden sun in the afternoon. We didn’t live on the best side of town, but until that day we always thought of it to be rather good. I sat joyfully on the side of our old, worn lounge. My left leg bounced to each beat of the music as my parent’s footsteps rocked the floorboards. Joshua and I laughed blissfully before joining in. The music lifted our spirits. Holding one another’s hand, we all moved around in a circle. My mother’s hair swayed with the breeze from the window, my father’s smile reflected his happiness as Joshua’s laugh echoed between the walls of the room. This has always been my favourite memory, because it reflected a moment of love, a moment which to this day, continues to move throughout the air. We were a family, and the happiest of any. That was until dad’s eyes seized my attention,
“Ryan,” called my mother. But I stood stiff. “Ryan, get me some blankets from the closet.” My eyes twitched from side to side. “Now Ryan!” Snapping back into reality, I ran to the closet which sat in the corner of the room. In a panic, I pulled almost everything out. “Hurry, Ryan.” I raced back and kneeling down, I handed her the blankets and watched as she wrapped them around his body. I continued to stare and what felt like seconds turned to minutes and minutes soon became an eternity. Within time the paramedics were here. “Get back Ryan,” called mother as she helped get father onto the stretcher. “Look after your brother; I’ll call you from the hospital.” An hour or so passed and suddenly it was nightfall. My head rested uneasily on the side of the lounge. As I gently began to fall asleep, I heard a knock at the door. My eyes widened as I jumped to my feet. Joshua came from the kitchen, and moved to see who it was. At first, I thought Joshua wanted to play a game, but then he ran in, with a face as pale as the snow. Pulling me by the arm, he dragged me to the closet. My heart pounded on the inside of my chest as my head spun with the circular motion of the world. The knocking continued, first at the front door, then the side window and simultaneously at 11
the back door, slow and steady knocks. Opening the closet door, Joshua gently pushed me inside. I looked up at him, confused. “Just be quiet” he murmured. It was the first time Joshua ever acted as my older brother. After gently closing the closet door and locking it, I watched him through the key hole as he moved back into the centre of the room. I knew something was wrong as he jumped at every hammering knock, until suddenly, silence. Moments later, three dark hooded men calmly walked into the room, surrounding him. I could tell Joshua knew them as his eyes shadowed at the fearsome tone of one man. “Why should you live, when he died and all because you are different?” Silence again haunted the house, until a blunt object fell from the sleeve of each man. Joshua gazed at me, one last time, with a look of an innocent child as a faint smile grew on his face. He accepted what was coming. Then, as the men raised their arms, he peacefully shut his eyes. Turning away, I knew what to expect. It wasn’t until morning that mother found me. My eyes were as red as the blood that stained Joshua’s T-shirt. From that day, I never spoke another word. Shock prevented me from giving my parents the comfort they needed. That was until some days ago, when I stepped back into that house at the request of my counsellor. As painful as it was to relive those hurtful memories, it enabled me to remember. I phoned the police and with the news I gave them, they were able to make an arrest for Timothy Peterson, my brother’s school bully and murderer. He killed Joshua out of rage because he didn’t have to go to the war for being different, unlike his brother who died just days before. Joshua had Down syndrome, a case which wasn’t properly understood. Peterson pleaded innocent, but was found guilty. A ray of sunlight stretched across the court room, and I knew, it was Joshua. The image I take with me from that time, the 12
sights and sounds, will always define the moment and its importance to my family.
GENERAL ELECTION for Rivcoll Student Representative Committee Will be open from
10am Wednesday 13th August, 2014 And closes
10am Thursday 14th August, 2014 Via
Online Electronic Ballot Nomination will open on Wednesday 16 July 2014 for the 12 vacant positions on the Rivcoll SRC board. Nominations close at 5pm Wednesday 30 July 2014. You can down load a copy of the Rivcoll SRC nomination form at the Student Representation webpage https://student.csu.edu.au/support/studentreps/nominations For further information see the Returning Officer: Roger Ansell, Student Services, Building 20 Phone: (02) 693 32041 Email: ransell@csu.edu.au
BACK TO SCHOOL
TIGHT & BRIGHT
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BACK TO SCHOOL
TIGHT & BRIGHT
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BACK TO SCHOOL
TIGHT & BRIGHT
BACK TO SCHOOL
TIGHT & BRIGHT
FASHION WONDERS AND BLUNDERS By Laura Boyd
It’s an interesting time for fashion right now. By interesting, I mean simultaneously terrifying and wonderful. The 90’s are back in full force and I finally have an excuse to wear jelly shoes again. But let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment: there are some trends that we all know, deep down, are ridiculous and should never see the light of day. One day we will look back and feel a deep sense of burning shame, much like when we look back on our awkward, sweaty, pimply teen years. Luckily for you, I’ve compiled a list of the fashion trends from 2014 that we will and won’t regret, come 2016. 1. Miley Cyrus Buns -
REGRETS
We have Gwen Stefani to thank for these, and really, in their hayday, they were fab. But then we all woke up in 2003 and realised that the fact something is called a ‘turd bun’ is a strong indication that it will suit nobody. These needed to stay in the nineties. They belong at nineties raves where Coco Jambo and Mr Vain are played on repeat, and everyone has brown lipliner on. Wear them but beware: you will have regrets. 2. Birkenstocks -
No Regrets
These delicious sandals have been around since my Mum was hip, which was many an eon ago. People may say they are hideous, but they tend to come back in style every ten years or so. If you purchase a pair, you can guarantee that at some point in your life you will be considered fashion forward. The rest of the time you’ll be considered a weird nerd who dabbles in Fruitarianism. But you will be so darn comfortable the entire time, you will be too busy enjoying the bliss that comes with orthopaedic footwear. Once you put these puppies on your feet, your life will change. Definitely no regrets with these bad boys. 3. Midriffs –
Slight Regrets
This is a tricky subject. When done well- ie the belly button is covered by a high-waisted garment, this trend can be quite rad. When done poorly- think denim short shorts with the bum cheeks hanging out and a belly button flapping in the breeze- you will look like a hillbilly. Approach with caution. The ratio 18
FASHION WONDERS AND BLUNDERS of flesh to regret works like this: the higher the flesh count, the higher the regrets. Also, the higher your chance of getting skin cancer. It’s all relative, people. 4. Boyfriend Jeans -
REGRETS
Don’t listen to what the guys say. Your jeans look awesome, girl. Seriously. Boyfriend jeans are the bomb dot com, because it’s like wearing tracksuit pants everywhere you go, but not being considered a slack jawed yokel. Take not- we will all regret these jeans in the future. Give it twenty years. You know those photos of your mum in the eighties? Yeah, that’s you, right now. Seriously, did you think you wouldn’t regret wearing super saggy denim that does not flatter your bum in any way? But, I think I speak for us all when I say that this trend is totally worth the future regrets, purely because one can get super low on the d-floor without exposing genitalia. Winning. 5. Semi-shaved heads -
REGRETS
Just because Skrillex did it, doesn’t mean it is cool. Seriously, have you ever seen anyone growing out one of these shaved sections? No, of course not. Because no one knows how! You are guaranteed to look back and shake your head in dismay at the fact that you thought looking like a felon was rad. 6. Active wear for any occasion -
Slight Regrets
Everyone has been guilty of wearing gym gear when they have no intention of stepping inside a gym, unless it is to ask for directions to the nearest fro-yo shop. This is like the g-string leotard of the eighties. It is somewhat ridiculous, and really, wearing jogging gear as a fashion statement is somewhat ridiculous in retrospect. But, at least when you look back on your younger days, you can confidently say that had a situation arisen, you would have been able to leg it the eff outta there, because your footwear was so appropriate.
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CSU Stalker Space To that person or place that you want to creep on or whinge about!
To the only 2 other people who catch the bus to Uni. I like you guys, we can be bros!
VOX POP What is the number one artist, song or album you’re listening to right now?
- WheelsOnTheBus
Leah Ellis: 100% Cher
To the male in my course. Just cause you’re at uni doesn’t mean you have to exclusively wear fluro shorts… You look like a want to be lifesaver (and not the swimming kind). - Drowning To the girl who lives across from me in the Hamptons. How about you come live in my room more often? - BlockLovin’t
Zachary Lederhose: Flashed Junk Mind - Milky Chance
Special Stalker Space To the snowboarder who had a disagreement with the chair lift at Falls. We met each other at the snow, even lived together for a couple of days. I really enjoyed your company and nights out together. You are articulate and intelligent and have an obvious gift and passion for your chosen future profession - something that was appreciated talking with you about on those long nights and early mornings. Long story short, I felt like a complete dick not telling you, that from about 30seconds from first talking, I liked you - more than I definitely let on. However, due to the circumstance we both found ourselves in, and because of the respect I have for my friend (who I do apologise for!! He’s English, and therefore handicapped by a natural immaturity) and the absolute respect I have for you, it felt awkward. Anyhow, you have my number - and me taking a punt - because it was starting to rip me apart if I didn’t say anything by getting it off my chest... Leaving it there - until I hear from you... which I hope I do. But if I don’t, wishing the best in life! It was an absolute pleasure.
Submit your creepy thoughts to us on Facebook or email. xoxo
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Andrew Noack: Rise against - the black market
Jack Wallace: The Finer Things - State Champs
Pat,
From BackToSchoolBadness
obvious instant satisfaction of the wonderfully salty flavour, but if you think about it more closely all you’re really getting is carbs and salt – the ultimate path to obesity and heart attacks (at which point you’ll be lucky if anyone offers you any kind of physical interaction, lets be honest.) I suggest you wake up to yourself and make a choice. Either you want to be in a relationship with noodles for the rest of your life, or you want to have sexual relations. It seems in this modern society, you cannot have both – especially not in your situation which seems to be the projection of emotion onto a food. My final piece of advice my dear is grow up and put down the noodles.
Hello there poppet.
Pat.
I’ve don’ goofed… I’ll be honest I expect you to berate me over this – it seems only fair but I need your advice. My problem comes from a little too much alcohol, a wander with a ‘friend’ over the hill, and a brief moment of nakedness… I’m sure you can work out the finer details.
We are so awkward around each other now, it’s so bad! We have class together most days and people are starting to pick up on it! Help me Pat, how do I make this okay.
I should think you are in need of a good berating considering your lack of understanding towards the dangers associated with hills at night time. Have you not seen wolf creek? Wandering off in the dark into the wilderness and taking of your clothes nearly always results in being abducted and forced to endure physical and mental torture until you’re dumped in the streets with your tongue cut out!
Now, on to your problem – I had to consult a few of the girls in my book club as to what these finer details may be. Ethel suggested you may have skinny dipped, although as you’re still alive and didn’t die of pneumonia I shall assume not. Mary said something about intercourse and said you should both harden up and then cackled whilst saying ‘although by the sounds of it he already has’, but we dismissed her straight away as in her age she’s losing her mind and speaks of the most preposterous things. With the help of my dear friend Beatrice we decided that you possibly mean that you both walked over the hill and discovered a naked body, (Beatrice suggested a dead body, she’s been watching too much midsummer murders). Now, the two of you should not be awkward after viewing the human anatomy. There comes a time in everyone’s life where nakedness becomes more than a personal element but is projected on to others, (Dr Phil told me that last week). How about you both embrace your new experience and study the anatomy together, there are flash cards at Kmart. Perhaps you’ll be inspired to become a doctor. All my love, Pat.
Love,
Hey P!
I just had this thought, like isn’t Avengers the movie simply the modern Power Rangers? From GoGoPowerRangers
Dear GoGoPowerRangers, You sicken me. Pat.
Patty,
Okay. This happened to me. I was Simba’d… Patty I don’t know what to do. WTF. Help!
Lioness I’ll be honest, I had to take to the google for this one. I asked my son, but he turned some sort of beetroot color before awkwardly leaving. After I got the dial-up to work, I soon saw why. I think the first thing you need to do is bleach your forehead. Secondly, castrate whoever did such a thing. I will say one more thing, after scrolling through what they call urban dictionary, if the internet is to believed it could have been much worse. Love Pat.
Patty,
I’ve got this really weird obsession with 2 minute noodles. Like, I really love to eat them, I have them easily once if not twice a day. I mean why not right! They’re so cheap and delicious and amazing. Who wouldn’t?! However I found out I have a problem simply because I chose noodles over sex 3 days ago. How do I break this weird obsession?
“Urban Dictionary “Simba” if you’re confused”.
Love NoodleKing Dear NoodleKing
You really do have a problem there. I think what you need to ask yourself is ‘what do noodles give me?’. There is the
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PROTESTING By Laura Boyd
What are we fighting for? This year’s fashion statements seem to include those double buns that should have stayed in 90’s, blatant midriffs and protesting. Both March and May saw thousands of often young students taking the streets with placards that had witty statements and often referred to the Prime Minister as a c-bomb amongst other things. Okay, I may have had a good laugh about the devil horns drawn on Tony Abbott’s head and the frequent references to The Simpsons, but I have to admit, I’m a bit over it. March in March and March in May seem to have extended into ‘March whenever you feel like it/ whenever a politician is in your area’, and it’s starting to get stale. I’m a bit confused- what are we fighting for? Do we just hate everything the Government is doing? Look, that’s not hard, I’m in the same boat, but something about the whole ‘let’s just say we hate Tony Abbott and we want him out’ technique has proven a bit ineffective. Thousands of people swearing at the Prime Minister doesn’t seem to have got us anywhere. Sure, we’re more aware of just how much everyone hates the Prime Minister, but I think we knew that already. There is no unified approach to the protesting. There is no common theme or central issue. What we’re seeing is ‘screw you, Abbott, re: errythang’. At the end of the day, that’s not going to get us very far.
“What I love about Australia is that we live in a democratic nation. So we can vote for whomever we please without fearing persecution. And if we don’t like them, we can decide we won’t vote for them next time. We can call the Prime Minister a dick head, and no one will take us away from our families or shoot us. Winning.” But facts are facts. We vote someone in and then we deal with it for three years. As much as the labour party may have led us to believe that you can boot people out whenever you feel like it, actually, you can’t. So no matter how many times you draw cartoon penises on Tony Abbott’s head and then put it on a placard, you still can’t get rid of him. That’s the way it works with democracy. Our nation decided we wanted him, so we got him. Maybe not everyone wanted him, but fair is fair, and majority rules. So instead of persisting with the whole ‘you’re a jerk’ approach, why not try something else? I support freedom of speech and I think raising awareness is a good way to get the Government’s attention. But now that we’ve got it, what are we going to do? Keep yelling? Or start something constructive? I don’t claim to have all the answers; on the contrary I have zero answers. In fact I’m willing to buy them from you for a small price. But I do think it’s time for a change. And less double buns. They need to go, for reals.
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USA TO AUS By Selene Castillo
An insight from an exchange student.
“Hello!” from one of the very few Mexican Americans on campus! Allow me to introduce myself; I’m the somewhat Middle Eastern looking girl with a septum piercing, black boots and a calavera (“skull” in Spanish) patch on her backpack. I’m Selene. I’m an international exchange student from California USA! So please excuse my way of spelling if I happen to miss a “u” in color or something funky like that. I’ve only been here in Wagga Wagga for about 3 weeks now, and let me tell you that I’m liking this little ol’town even though it was not at all what I was expecting. I can start by telling you about my arrival and all of that. Right as my plane landed in the Wagga Airport I was shocked, first by how handsome the waving pilot was and secondly by how small the airport is! It immediately reminded me of the airport of my university town and from there on I sort of knew what kind if place Wagga is. I was born and have lived most of my life in Southern California but I moved twelve hours north to study for and acquire my dream career as a Wildlife Conservationist. I attend Humboldt State University that’s in a tiny town, Arcata, that lies near the founding city of all of California, Eureka. Wagga reminds me so much of Arcata! It has a relatively small population (most of which are students), it’s chilly, there’s farms and livestock nearby, there are Victorian styled houses, and it’s a bit far off of what the city life is like (when comparing Arcata to Los Angeles and Wagga to Sydney... Which I have yet to see...). So the first thing I noticed that was different from the US was that you
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guys drive on the left side of the road and also have your steering wheels on the left side of your car! Ok, I suppose you’re used to that and it’s not a big deal.
Well what if I told you that in the US there are toilet seat covers at every single restroom (Yes that’s what we call your shitter or toilet hehe) besides the ones in your homes, so that your butt never has to touch a nasty public toilet seat! Still not amused?! Well it’s true, but I was joking about it being such a crazy different thing. The biggest difference between the US and Australia that I’ve noticed so far that makes me want to come back and live here for a good while is the pay! Oh lord! I could not believe the response I got when I asked about the minimum wage in this country, well if you could even call it that! The person I spoke to told me there is no minimum wage, it just depends in your job, I thought, “ok, this could be a good or a bad thing.” So I asked her what was the lowest job/pay one could possibly get and she told me that
at McDonalds an employee might earn around $17.50 an hour! That is so exciting for me because, well, do you know the minimum wage in the US? It’s $8.00 an hour...
USA TO AUS Wow... so much for the ‘rich’ country we are. Seriously! Our economy is pretty fudged up right now. And that’s the pay that you will get at nearly any “first job” kind of place. I’m not sure if all restaurants do this, but I’ve met waitresses that get $6.50 an hour and they have to make up the rest on tips. Oh and that’s another thing, there’s no such thing as tips over here?! It’s a good thing for me because, I must admit, I’m pretty cheap hehe. I’ve also noticed some other differences, for example, there’s a Woolworth across from where I’m staying and I must say... I would NOT buy their “Mexican” foods! Oh my goodness, I bought a can of beans and even as I started to take them out of the can I noticed the overly smushed texture. I was hoping that they wouldn’t taste too different compared to what I’m used to, but yup... It was so bad that I had to throw it all away. Also, the taco and burrito kits? That’s all Americanized Mexican food! Burritos and tacos don’t even really look like that! If only I could have my little Mexican grandma cook some REAL Mexican food for you guys... If only.
Another thing, it’s really hard to understand how I have an accent if I speak the plainest English there could possibly be, oh, but you all sound so lovely to me. Your accents all have a nice
song like rhythm, if that makes any sense. Changing subjects! Let’s talk about school... It definitely seems more laid back than back at home. First of all, one must register for classes around three months before you actually take them. The universities are so packed that it can be extremely difficult to register in classes that you need to graduate. Just to tell you, my mom needed a single class to graduate and it took her about three semesters for her to finally register in it! That’s an extreme though. In the US students could pick and choose what classes to take and when to take them, but of course there’s a list of classes you must take to acquire your degree. When school is in session it’s also different, on average school days are a lot longer, usually lectures are an hour but you will have to attend them twice or up to four times a week, and worst of all... There’s no such thing as a “tea break” but I love it! I was so confused and didn’t know what to do with my life when I first heard the professor say “let’s go for tea and coffee for fifteen minutes” it’s the best! I’ve reached my thousand word limit, but I just want to say a few more things... Thongs are underwear, potato jems are tater tots, and Australia needs Netflix!
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MULTITASKING By Rose Marel
Once upon a time I fiercely opposed multitasking. I scoffed at the concept that women were born to do it. I laughed at the suggestion that it saved time. Instead I was a one-task-at-a-time believer and advocate. This was the method I adhered to throughout all my schooling years to great effect. I would do one task at a time and found it an efficient way to get through all my assignments. I would not begin one subject and switch to another before completion. I would not watch TV while finishing easier tasks. I would not open Facebook. Yes folks, I was determined and single-minded like the terminator. Oh, those were the days! Now I just can’t help but multitask. Along with the takeover of technology we are constantly bombarded by a multiplicity of short, sharp attentiongrabbers. Bright lights and vivid images and games that flash. Videos now go for six seconds. Songs are shorter and easier to sing along to. Movies are formulaic. Recent studies suggest that our constant access to the Internet plays a large role in reducing our attention spans. According to a ‘Pew’ Internet investigation we have grown accustomed to instant answers and quick fixes, resulting in a “loss of patience and a lack of deep thinking.” Modern consumers are scrollers and skimmers. We can open multiple windows and move back and forth with a single click. We are used to videos and large text, we use abbreviations and expect simplifications. Honestly, it’s really no wonder that our attention spans are rapidly deteriorating. Hence, I find that because I become easily bored and unfocused, I have to multitask. Watching a show is too boring alone. Even as I’m writing this I’m simultaneously watching Game of Thrones.
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Yes, you read that correctly. My attention span is so pathetic now that I can’t even watch Game of Thrones without some other, concurrent stimulation. How sad that arguably the most thrilling and dramatic TV show of our time can’t even engage me 100%. I’m similarly split in other aspects of life. I do Sudoku while watching TV. I read while eating. I text while driving. (Just kidding!) Oh, and I’m also in the middle of writing about 5 other articles while completing this one. My friend announced to me the other day that she can now finds it difficult to read novels. “I’m going to train myself again. I’ll slowly try to build myself up to fifteen minutes of straight reading,” she said. Fifteen minutes! Generation Y (and certainly Z) are turning into scatterbrains that can’t even read for fifteen minutes! At this rate it looks as soon novels that finish at ten pages. Short stories will be a page. Twitter will remove the zero from the 120 characters rule. In fact twitter will be renamed ‘twit’ and Facebook will formally change to FB. Well, one thing’s for sure: the longer this article goes on for, the less likely that people are actually reading it. In reality, you’ve probably skipped from the title to this paragraph here. Let’s all just hope for the future that whoever coined the term “short and sweet” was right.
Engagement Australia Conference 2014
When I first got asked to work at the Engagement Australia Conference I was hopeful that it would lead to someone asking me to marry them. I was both disappointed and intrigued when I found out that it was a conference about university-community engagement and supporting higher education. It quickly became more than just a job, but an inspiring and educational experience that made me proud to be at CSU and passionate about the need for universities to become part of their wider community. The days were filled with conversations, presentations and collaborations to do with what universities are doing to become more engaged with their communities. The idea is to improve universities, student experience and community through a strong and mutually beneficial partnership. Whether it’s students who go on placement in local organisations or setting up uni clinics that are accessible to the public – projects that allow for the creation of one community, that the uni is a part of. Vice Chancellor Andrew Vann spoke several times on behalf of CSU including to launch the new CSU community portal. He also shared what CSU is doing in terms of creating strong relationships with the community, which he agrees is key. ‘We’re creating a community for students that is also integrated with the wider community.’ The conference was also focused on enhancing the student experience so there was extensive mention of the budget, including a lovely video of winey pyney. But the consensus was that even though money is an issue, it is an issue we can overcome and the focus shouldn’t be pulled from what is important – the education. Top 10 Conference Quotes: -’Everyone is different, but everyone has equal value.’ -’If a tree falls in a forest and isn’t published in an academic journal does anybody hear?’ -’Price shouldn’t be a deterrent if the quality on offer is high.’ -’Don’t expect change to happen, lead the change’ -’Christopher Pyne makes me nauseous’ -’Students need the skills, sensitivities and motivations to make their communities and society a better place, for everyone.’ -’Knock down the invisible walls around our campuses and our thinking’ -’Listen, Link, Leverage and Lead – Always in that order -’Good ideas with no ideas on how to implement them are wasted ideas’ -’Very seldom can you do public good and make money at the same time’ It really was a great conference (including free umbrella’s and pens) that opened my eyes to the need for integrating our unis into the community and encouraging higher education as much as we can. Especially as students we have the ability to advocate for what we have the privileged to do – study. The only moment which caused a raised eyebrow was when they suggested gimics to lure people to certain universities (get this one uni gives free ipads). However, it wasn’t the gimics that caused any great concern but that the example for city universities was ‘come to our uni, get a free ski holiday’ and the example for CSU was ‘come to our uni, get a free tractor’.......... I’m not sure about how I’d feel about a free tractor. Although I was initially disgusted by the stereotype and jealous of the ipad getters and the ski goers, I realised that perhaps a world where I could drive a tractor between lecture halls and not have to take the bus home wouldn’t be so bad. But seriously have a google, read what’s going on and become part of the push for community integration and importance of higher ed.
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HUNGAPPA FUNGAPPA
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HUNGAPPA FUNGAPPA
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TASTE Beef Lasagne
INGREDIENTS
METHOD
2 teaspoons olive oil
Step 1
1 brown onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup red wine
Heat oil in a heavy-based saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic. Cook, stirring, for 3 minutes or until onion is tender. Add mince. Cook, stirring with a wooden spoon to break up mince, for 8 minutes or until browned. Add sauce, wine and sugar. Season with salt and pepper. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat to low. Simmer, uncovered, for 40 minutes or until sauce has thickened. Remove from heat.
1 teaspoon caster sugar
Step 2
250g packet dried lasagne pasta sheets
Preheat oven to 180째C/160째C fan-forced. Lightly grease a 7cmdeep, 25cm (base) square baking dish. Spoon 1/2 cup mince mixture over base of dish. Arrange one quarter of pasta sheets over meat mixture, breaking sheets to fit. Spoon one-third of the remaining mince mixture over pasta. Drizzle with one-quarter of the cream. Sprinkle with one-quarter of the cheddar cheese. Repeat layers twice. Top with remaining pasta sheets, cream and cheddar cheese. Sprinkle with parmesan. Cover loosely with foil.
2 garlic cloves, crushed 600g lean beef mince 737g bottle tomato pasta sauce
2 cups thickened cream 2 cups grated cheddar cheese 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
Step 3 ake for 45 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for 15 minutes or until pasta is tender and cheese golden. Stand for 10 minutes before serving.
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