RITA MCGRATH THOUGHT SPARKS
magically disappear. What a great opportunity, then to be joined by Morra Aarons-Mele, an entrepreneur, host of the podcast “The Anxious Achiever,” and author of the book by the same name. She argues that anxiety, when properly harnessed, can become a superpower. We collaborated on responses to the questions during our chat".
MorraAarons-Mele’sfirstbookwascalledHidingintheBathroom:HowtoGetOutThereWhenYou’dRatherStay Home,andaddressedtheissueofhowintrovertscanengageinnetworkingand(sensible)self-promotionwhenthat isn’ttheirgo-doskillset.She'snowonamissiontogetpeopletounderstandthatanxietycanactuallybea superpowerifyoutrainyourselftomanageitwell.Morebroadly,she'sattheforefrontofmakingmentalhealth issuesadiscussablephenomenonatworkandinyourpersonallife.
Question: What are your experiences about where the fear that many people feel, comes from?
We’veallhadthisexperience–we’vefinallyaccomplishedagoalor enjoyedabigsuccess,andwethinkweshouldbefeelinggreataboutit. Instead,wefindourselvesunabletoenjoyit,overcomewithfeelingsof dread,fear,orothernegativeemotions.Theseareoftendeeply embeddedreactionstonegativeexperiencesfromourpast,ofwhichwe maynotevenbeconsciouslyawareof.
Question: Do you have a go to practice to *realize* anxiety is affecting you? Sometimes I don't realize that's what is going on until someone I love asks me how I am doing...
Morrapointsoutthatthisisakeyissue.We experienceanxietywhenwefeelthreatened,but atthesametime,ourbrainsdon’twantusto feeltheseunpleasantemotions,sowecanbe unawarethatweareexperiencinganxiety.
Question: I heard you say that many people are afraid of being shamed. What are your experiences about reasons why some managers want to shame people?
Tosomeextent,shamingothersatworkisthetoxicexerciseofpower.
Formoreonthat,seeJeffPfeffer’sexcellentbookon7Rulesof Powerandourfiresidechatcoveringthesamethemes.
Question: I think I heard you say that we need to be more human. What does it mean to "be more human"?
Fromoneofourlisteners:“Icansharean example:inameetingrecently,Iaskeda questionthathadbeenansweredpreviouslyor inapriormeeting.Ithankedthemforanswering again,andacknowledgedIrecalleditnow-and apologizedfortherepeat,andjokinglysaidI wouldprobablyhaveitdowncoldafterhearing itTWICEMORE:)-andlotsofpeoplelaughed. Acoupleoffolksevencomplimentedmefor owningmy'humanity'.Thisisveryrelevantto thethemesexploredinthebookHumor, SeriouslybyJenniferAakerandNaomi
Bagdonas.
Let’s talk about an “aha” moment we both shared: The importance of absorbing uncertainty
Anxietyatworkisnormal,andincreasesin timesofuncertainty.Sowhat’samanager’s roleduringanxioustimes?Webothhadan Ahamomentoveranexampleofleadership anxietyRitashared.Whenbothamanager andemployeefeelanxiousanduncertain, communicationiskey.
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