From Where I Stand — As a kid, was there a more depressing sight
My father-in-law always use the same corny joke when we call my mother-in-law on her birthday. He says, “I freaked out and sound than a lifeguard shouting, “ADULT SWIM?” Here this morning. I woke up next to an old lady!” The response to this we were, minding our own business in the public pool on a hot is usually a groan, followed by an eye-roll, followed by him getsummer day. One minute, we were splashing our friends, cannonting punched in the arm by his wife. It’s a good bit of the Henny balling into the deep end, or throwing a water logged nerf football. Youngman variety and made even funnier since The next minute we are standing on the pool deck he’s older than his wife. while emotionless adults slowly descended into The more we age, and as schmaltzy as these the water like Swamp Thing being called home. sentiments are, we begin to realize they are undeThese crusty old timers would peel themniably true. Regardless of our age, most of us selves off lawn chairs, wade into the water, and feel like younger people trapped in this aging engage in odd swimming and bathing rituals. shell where time moves too quickly. Inside every They had swim caps and black bathing suits like 40-year old is a 25-year old wondering how the they were participating in some type of swim hell he or she got there. Inside every 80-year old is funeral. We’d stand and shiver on the side of the a 60-year old shocked at how fast life has moved. pool until the bored lifeguard would finally blow Well, that’s not exactly true. The gate swings his whistle. We swore, in those moments, those both ways. There are some who feel much older adult swimmers would never be us. than their age. Some may consider themselves The ILCA held its virtual Young introverts or antisocial or just exhausted by their Professionals event in March. After a high contemporaries. They simply feel more at home level overview of how employment trends have surrounded by older people and eventually adopt changed over the past year, we broke into small their pace, habits, and quest for wisdom. networking groups. One of the groups started This is not junk science confined to greeting with the most fundamental and basic of cards and corny jokes. There are strong scientific questions — do you feel like a professional and underpinnings for this phenomenon. In psycholdo you feel like an adult? Mind you, the age ogy, it is referred to as subjective age. There have range for the Young Professionals group goes been dozens of studies on subjective age trying to from 18-35 so that is a wide swath of personal determine why our brains and our bodies seem to and professional experience. experience time at two different speeds. The comments were fascinating. To a person, no one who In reality, we have three different ages. Chronological age is participated said they feel like an adult or, at least all of the time. Adulting involved setting goals, having higher degrees of empathy, the simple one that makes the most sense. It is the amount of times the earth has passed around the sun and begins the day we were thinking about others, and honing and taking pride in your craft. born and ends the day we die. When someone asks for our age, The participants all admitted to progress in these areas, but none we lead with the chronological age. We tell them 75 or 37 or “this would wear the scarlet “A.” Besides, we all know the true sign of many.” being an adult is yelling “Keep your pants on!” when someone The second age is biological age which examines biomarkers rings your doorbell. That is irrefutable. such as the health of our heart, lungs, brain, kidneys, skin, teeth, Young Professionals Committee co-chair Tim Sweeney even and bones. It compares each of us to all of us and tries to detertook this question a step further and asked the adult question to mine, biologically, are we in better or worse shape than our peers. members of his company. Here, the ages ranged from 20 to 60. The final age is subjective age. This is the hardest to define. Once again, no one said they truly felt like an adult - even at 60! This looks at how young or old a person feels and actually is a Now, many could say this is an anomaly, but study after study combination of biomarkers, societal norms, and personal experishow that the age we are, and the age we feel we are, differs ence. The landmark studies on subjective age have identified by almost 20%. The call also had a few seasoned professionals major metrics to making us feel young or old. This list includes: who crashed the party. I think my favorite quote was from Board better neurological health ranging from depression to dementia, Member Jeff Kramer who said - “I am an adult when I need to be, better physical health, higher education, better life satisfaction, and I try to be an adult as little as possible.” avoidance of burnout, and less loneliness. In short, the better you One only needs to walk down a greeting card aisle to find dozfeel and the better you take care of yourself, the younger you will ens of idioms made to make us feel better about getting older: Age feel over the course of your life. is just a number; You are only as old as you feel; You’re young This social constructionist view on age is enough to elicit some at heart. There are dozens of clichés to make us feel better about major eye rolls. The idea that we can defy our own birth certifiourselves as we age. Yet it is undeniable that a gulf exists between cate, turn back the clock, and be whatever age we want seems a chronological age listed on a handful of government documents new-agey, at best. Yet, is there a person reading this who hasn’t and how we feel on the inside. felt this way? Who hasn’t looked in the mirror, been wished a Mind you, this usually only works backwards. We would not happy birthday after the age of 30, or thought about how long ago tolerate a 12-year old driving a car because he “feels” 16. I’m sure their prom or college graduation or wedding was and not been there have been endless underage philosophers trying to convince equally shocked and depressed by how many years have past? a bar bouncer that “feeling 21” is just as good as a valid driver’s license. 5 The Landscape Contractor May 2021
Stop Acting Your Age
