From Where I Stand

As a kid, was there a more depressing sight

My father-in-law always use the same corny joke when we and sound than a lifeguard shouting, “ADULT SWIM?” Here call my mother-in-law on her birthday. He says, “I freaked out we were, minding our own business in the public pool on a hot this morning. I woke up next to an old lady!” The response to this summer day. One minute, we were splashing our friends, cannon- is usually a groan, followed by an eye-roll, followed by him getballing into the deep end, or throwing a water logged nerf football. ting punched in the arm by his wife. It’s a good bit of the Henny The next minute we are standing on the pool deck Youngman variety and made even funnier since while emotionless adults slowly descended into he’s older than his wife. the water like Swamp Thing being called home. The more we age, and as schmaltzy as these

These crusty old timers would peel them- sentiments are, we begin to realize they are undeselves off lawn chairs, wade into the water, and niably true. Regardless of our age, most of us engage in odd swimming and bathing rituals. feel like younger people trapped in this aging They had swim caps and black bathing suits like shell where time moves too quickly. Inside every they were participating in some type of swim 40-year old is a 25-year old wondering how the funeral. We’d stand and shiver on the side of the hell he or she got there. Inside every 80-year old is pool until the bored lifeguard would finally blow a 60-year old shocked at how fast life has moved. his whistle. We swore, in those moments, those Well, that’s not exactly true. The gate swings adult swimmers would never be us. both ways. There are some who feel much older

The ILCA held its virtual Young than their age. Some may consider themselves Professionals event in March. After a high introverts or antisocial or just exhausted by their level overview of how employment trends have contemporaries. They simply feel more at home changed over the past year, we broke into small surrounded by older people and eventually adopt networking groups. One of the groups started with the most fundamental and basic of Stop Acting their pace, habits, and quest for wisdom. This is not junk science confined to greeting questions — do you feel like a professional and cards and corny jokes. There are strong scientific do you feel like an adult? Mind you, the age range for the Young Professionals group goes Your Age underpinnings for this phenomenon. In psychology, it is referred to as subjective age. There have from 18-35 so that is a wide swath of personal been dozens of studies on subjective age trying to and professional experience. determine why our brains and our bodies seem to

The comments were fascinating. To a person, no one who experience time at two different speeds. participated said they feel like an adult or, at least all of the time. In reality, we have three different ages. Chronological age is Adulting involved setting goals, having higher degrees of empathy, the simple one that makes the most sense. It is the amount of times thinking about others, and honing and taking pride in your craft. the earth has passed around the sun and begins the day we were The participants all admitted to progress in these areas, but none born and ends the day we die. When someone asks for our age, would wear the scarlet “A.” Besides, we all know the true sign of we lead with the chronological age. We tell them 75 or 37 or “this being an adult is yelling “Keep your pants on!” when someone many.” rings your doorbell. That is irrefutable. The second age is biological age which examines biomarkers

Young Professionals Committee co-chair Tim Sweeney even such as the health of our heart, lungs, brain, kidneys, skin, teeth, took this question a step further and asked the adult question to and bones. It compares each of us to all of us and tries to determembers of his company. Here, the ages ranged from 20 to 60. mine, biologically, are we in better or worse shape than our peers. Once again, no one said they truly felt like an adult - even at 60! The final age is subjective age. This is the hardest to define. Now, many could say this is an anomaly, but study after study This looks at how young or old a person feels and actually is a show that the age we are, and the age we feel we are, differs combination of biomarkers, societal norms, and personal experiby almost 20%. The call also had a few seasoned professionals ence. The landmark studies on subjective age have identified who crashed the party. I think my favorite quote was from Board major metrics to making us feel young or old. This list includes: Member Jeff Kramer who said - “I am an adult when I need to be, better neurological health ranging from depression to dementia, and I try to be an adult as little as possible.” better physical health, higher education, better life satisfaction,

One only needs to walk down a greeting card aisle to find doz- avoidance of burnout, and less loneliness. In short, the better you ens of idioms made to make us feel better about getting older: Age feel and the better you take care of yourself, the younger you will is just a number; You are only as old as you feel; You’re young feel over the course of your life. at heart. There are dozens of clichés to make us feel better about This social constructionist view on age is enough to elicit some ourselves as we age. Yet it is undeniable that a gulf exists between major eye rolls. The idea that we can defy our own birth certifia chronological age listed on a handful of government documents cate, turn back the clock, and be whatever age we want seems and how we feel on the inside. new-agey, at best. Yet, is there a person reading this who hasn’t

Mind you, this usually only works backwards. We would not felt this way? Who hasn’t looked in the mirror, been wished a tolerate a 12-year old driving a car because he “feels” 16. I’m sure happy birthday after the age of 30, or thought about how long ago there have been endless underage philosophers trying to convince their prom or college graduation or wedding was and not been a bar bouncer that “feeling 21” is just as good as a valid driver’s equally shocked and depressed by how many years have past? license. The Landscape Contractor May 2021

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Subjective age may not get anyone into a bar or stave off death, but it’s real.

We formed the Young Professionals group as a way for younger members of the landscape industry to build a professional network, learn from one another, and determine their role and place in the greater green industry. Many times, they are trying to fit into a workplace demographic who does not understand or respect them. The word “millennial” is almost always used with derision and I hear complaint after complaint about a lack of work ethic, a sense of entitlement, and a general immaturity coming from junior employees.

We need to come to grips with this hypocrisy. Why are young professionals expected to act older than their age while the healthiest, happiest, and, frankly, most interesting people feel younger than their age for most of their lives? If a grandma skydiving at 90 is considered virtuous, why is watching cartoons and reading comic books in your 20s seen as juvenile? In a professional setting, older, energetic workers who can maintain conversations and relationships with younger employees are revered while younger workers who bring youthful energy and exuberance to their jobs are viewed as immature. That is simply not fair.

Study after study show that the old salts who act older than their years may be the most unhappy professionals in the workplace. Their responsibility, steadiness and maturity may mask poor health, anxiety about their job security, and low morale. They struggle to connect with younger generations and they take more sick time. They scratch and claw towards retirement while similarly-aged coworkers blow past arbitrary dates and show no signs of slowing down. To the young at heart, age is just a number so stop making such a big deal out of it.

Age is one of the diciest subjects in the workplace. Ageism is a problem in hiring and promotions at both ends of the spectrum. Younger employees “aren’t ready” and older employees “might not be able to keep up.” It is prohibited by law to even ask an applicant’s age during an interview. The good news is that it really doesn’t matter. It is far better to know how old an applicant feels than his or her chronologic age. If a coworker feels far younger than his age, odds are that person is happier, satisfied, loyal, and in better mental and physical health.

We can’t slow time. We can’t prevent our bodies from aging. There will be a point that even 90-year old skydiving grannies are called home. What we can do is stop freaking ourselves out about our age. And, we can stop judging other people by their ages too. Some of us feel 5, 10, or 15 years older or younger than the candles on our last cake. Chronological age is not fluid, but subjective age is. Remember being that kid on the side of the pool. You can either stand in knee deep water as you cup water over your brown, wrinkled shoulders or you can plug your nose, shut your eyes, and shout “cannonball!”

There’s always time to start being an adult tomorrow.

Scott Grams, Executive Director April 20, 2021