by BoB Grimm
b g ri m m @ne w s re v i e w . c o m
SHORT TAKES
1
“Grab your stick. Heat ’em up! make ’em hard!”
This movie is toast
firecracker McCarthy, as the trailblazer scientist of the group, bumbles her way through her role with a smile but no material. My current favorite Saturday Night Live star, Kate McKinnon, as the brainy yet eccentric science wizard, is allowed to mug like a crack addict on an NYC subway full of inebriated, unarmed billionaires. Leslie Jones, as the street-smart member with no science chops, seems to equate volume with The first Ghostbusters will always be one of the humor. She’s just loud. most magnificent movie miracles. After a promising start featuring Zach Woods Some of the greatest comedy monsters of the time (Silicon Valley), Ed Begley, Jr. and a haunted house, (Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Dan the plot switches to a geek (Neil Casey) looking to Aykroyd) combined under the guidance of a hot direccause a ghost apocalypse in Manhattan. He’s planting tor (Ivan Reitman, coming off Stripes and Meatballs) traps around the city that attract paranormal activity, to merge horror, science fiction, comedy and big perhaps because he’s lonely. The new Ghostbusters budget special effects. They balanced all of these band together to conquer the geek and save the city. elements perfectly and turned out a classic. The ghosts are dull, fluorescent things bolstered I was not expecting anything near the brilliance slightly by some decent 3-D effects if you should or originality of the 1984 original from Paul Feig’s choose the more expensive viewing route. In one of reboot/remake/whatever-you-want-to-call-it entry into the only real compliments I can bestow upon the film, a movie franchise that has remained the folks putting together some of dormant since the miserable 1989 the 3-D action did a pretty good sequel Ghostbusters 2. Considering job. There are moments where stuff the cast that Feig assembled (Kristen seems to come out of the movie Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate frame and suspend in the air in front McKinnon and Leslie Jones), I did of you. Those moments won’t make expect to have a good time. you laugh, but they might wake you Director: Paul Feig That didn’t happen. I was bored. up a little. Starring: Kristen Wiig, Super bored. I laughed a total of Andy Garcia as the New York Melissa McCarthy, Kate two and a half times at the new McKinnon, Leslie Jones mayor made me laugh … once. Ghostbusters, not once due to Begley, Jr. as a paranormal enthuanything the headlining stars did. siast made me laugh … once. Chris It’s as if Feig (Bridesmaids, Spy, The Heat) figured, Hemsworth as a brain-dead receptionist almost made “Hey, I have these stars and a big budget for special me laugh once, but it was more like a chuckle. That’s effects. I don’t really need a funny script, do I? These it for the laugh count. stars can just stand in front of a camera and be funny, Aykroyd, Murray, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts and right?” Sigourney Weaver all make useless, remarkably lame Perhaps they can, but not this time out. cameos. Ramis makes an appearance as well in one of Ghostbusters is a stale facsimile of the original. If you the movie’s few inspired moments. watched those lousy preview trailers and worried that To say this is a disappointment is an understatethe franchise was creatively bankrupt, know that the ment. So far, this summer has blown it with Spielberg, stupid jokes in that trailer (“Ow, that’s gonna leave a Superman, Batman, Independence Day aliens and mark!”) are about the best the film has to offer. It is now the Ghostbusters. Will Suicide Squad return utterly void of laughter. some dignity to DC? Will Star Trek Beyond give the I found myself really annoyed with the haters who summer the big budget fun boost it needs? judged this movie by those lousy trailers before they It’s probably too late, and more than likely saw the completed project. Sadly, I have now joined 2016 can’t be redeemed at the cinemas. Let’s that camp, because I really hated this movie. hope the movies get a lot better when it gets cold The normally reliable Wiig, as the “sensible scienoutside. Ω tist,” basically stands around looking lost. Comedic
Ghostbusters
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07.21.16
The BFG
And with this, the startling run of Steven Spielberg duds continues. After delivering two of the dullest movies of his career (Lincoln, Bridge of Spies) Spielberg does the almost impossible; he makes Roald Dahl completely boring. Oscar-winner Mark Rylance delivers a motion-capture CGI performance as the central character, the Big Friendly Giant, that results in more yawns than smiles. His giant captures dreams and blows them into the sleeping residents of London. On one of his excursions, he kidnaps Sophie (Ruby Barnhill), and takes her to the land of giants, where most giants are meat eaters. Luckily, he’s a vegetarian, but he’s being bullied by a group of bad giants led by Jemaine Clement in the film’s most fun motion-capture performance. Despite a winning performance from Barnhill, a true star in the making, the film drags on and on, trying to get by on big special effects rather than an engaging story. Everything feels a little off for Spielberg. A visit to the Queen’s house, which should be bizarrely funny and subversive, winds up feeling awkward and uncomfortable. The whole movie seems to be playing it safe in Dahl land, as if it is E.T. in Dahl land, and it throws the tone completely off. It doesn’t help that John Williams rips off his own E.T. score. It never clicks. Nothing really works, yet again, for Spielberg, a director who seems to have momentarily lost his mojo.
3
Central Intelligence
While it doesn’t boast much along the lines of originality, this winds up being an above average action/comedy buddy movie thanks to its stars, Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart. The guys belong together. The plot feels like a bunch of parts from other movies cobbled together to make a whole. It has elements of Lethal Weapon, Grosse Pointe Blank, Just Friends and even a little Sixteen Candles, all stitched together, albeit capably, by director Rawson Marshall Thurber (We’re the Millers). It’s a well-oiled movie Frankenstein. Johnson and Hart are a strong screen duo, with Johnson actually scoring most of the laughs. Hart, who certainly chips in on the laughs front, actually delivers one of the more well rounded, warm performances of his career. He plays Calvin, the most popular guy in high school who grows up to be humdrum. Johnson plays Bob, a former obese guy who Calvin took pity on. Bob grows up to be a rogue CIA agent who looks like the Rock. The two wind up on an adventure that, of course, eventually leads to their high school reunion.
3
Finding Dory
This sequel to Finding Nemo goes a little darker than its predecessor. Ellen DeGeneres returns as Dory, the lovable fish with short-term memory loss. An event triggers a memory of family in her little brain, and she sets off on a journey to find her mom and dad (voiced by Diane Keaton and Eugene Levy). Pals Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Nemo (Hayden Rolence) join Dory on her quest, which culminates in an aquarium amusement park graced with voice announcements by the actual Sigourney Weaver. Dory winds up in a touch pond, in a bucket of dead fish, and swimming around in a lot of dark pipe work. In some ways, this is to Finding Nemo what The Empire Strikes Back was to Star Wars. It’s a darker, slightly scarier chapter that still delivers on the heartwarming elements and laughs.
1
Independence Day: Resurgence
I enjoyed the goofy, funny, balls-out alien invasion movie that was Independence Day (1996). The film was dumber than a stoned golden retriever in a Harvard calculus class, but Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum and, yes, Randy Quaid made the grandiose stupidity somewhat of a blast. Two decades after the original, Independence Day: Resurgence finally arrives, without Smith, who probably didn’t think the check was big enough. While the original was a stupid blast, the sequel is the equivalent of a nasty two-hour alien fart. Goldblum, Bill Pullman and Brent Spiner return for alien nonsense that is fast paced yet dull, and utterly void of laughs. It’s evident in the
first 10 minutes that the movie will somehow manage to be lethargic even though the editing is frantic, and lots of things are exploding. Returning director Roland Emmerich is clearly not on his disaster-epic game. It’s a wasteful effort, where camp has been replaced by total ineptitude, and the performers look lost. And, let’s face it, Liam Hemsworth is no Will Smith.
3
The Secret Life of Pets
3
The Shallows
4
Swiss Army Man
A bunch of comedians lend their voices to some cartoon characters, and the results are moderately entertaining. Louis C.K. voices Max, a Jack Russell terrier who loves his master, Katie (Ellie Kemper of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), with that undying loyalty that makes dogs so damn cool. Katie brings home a new brother for Max, a big brown shaggy dog named Duke (Eric Stonestreet), and it creates some turmoil in the household. Max and Duke eventually wind up in the hands of Animal Control, and eventually fend for themselves in the sewers of Manhattan. There they become enemies of the Flushed Pets, a group consisting of alligators, lizards, snakes and furry critters led by Snowball the Rabbit (Kevin Hart on a sound booth tear). The advertised premise for the film suggests the movie might be about what our pets do in the house when we leave home. That part of the film is out of the way early in the movie’s opening minutes. The rest of the movie is the band of pets in Max’s neighborhood trying to find him and Duke when they get lost. Some of the sequences are borderline deranged. Max and Duke wind up in a sausage factory, where they gobble down hot dogs in an almost hallucinatory scene set to Grease’s “We Go Together.” This doesn’t feel like the stuff of kids’ movies; it’s a sequence that seems as if the animators took a little LSD break, came back to their computers, and dreamt up some wild shit.
Blake Lively, whose best role until now was the secretary in that SNL “Potato Chip” sketch, is terrific as Nancy, a medical school dropout who goes to a secret beach in Mexico in the wake of her mother’s death. She sets out for a day of surfing and reflection in what she thinks is a completely solitary setting (with the exception of a couple of other friendly surfers). Turns out, there’s a big-assed Great White shark, and this is its territory, and no trespassers are allowed, even if they are as pretty as Blake Lively. As shark movies go, this is a good one, with decent CGI effects, a couple of tense shark attacks, and a constant level of terror that never lets up. The only thing really keeping this from being “very good” rather than “nice and good” is the ending, which made me laugh a laugh I shouldn’t have laughed.
Like the dead corpse at its center, this film is a multipurpose entity. It can be a lot of different things to the viewer. It can be a story about the wild things starvation and desperation can do to the brain, and the strange movies that play in your head when you are losing it. It can be a story about how a deranged stalker deals with the end of his life and afterlife. It can be a story about how funny it would be if somebody’s farts could propel him like a jet ski across the ocean and how funny it would be if his erect dick were a compass. I’ve made my choice what this movie is about, but you could walk away from it thinking something completely different. As Hank, Paul Dano gets yet another careerdefining, nutty role. He’s seemingly stranded on a desert island, at the end of his rope, literally. Just before killing himself, a corpse (Daniel Radcliffe) washes up on the beach, and starts farting. It starts farting—a lot. Before much time has passed, Hank is riding the corpse, dubbed Manny, across the ocean as its farts provide jet propulsion. Hank, with the arrival of his new friend, decides suicide is a drag, and takes Manny along with him on a trek through the forest to find civilization. Manny eventually starts having conversations with Hank. Sound weird? It is. It’s also strangely beautiful, deeper and richer than most movies with this many farts in it.
