Vol.IV, No.20
www.renewssource.com
October 2018
Do You Use Paraprosdokian - Be It Yours Or Someones Else’s? By Pat Farrell
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Today it would seem that few people place as much importance on the correct usage of the English language as they once did in the “good ole days!.” As we’ve noted in past articles many people, when posting on the various forms of social media, frequently misuse words, such as using loose instead of lose; using there instead of their or they’re and using it’s when its would be the correct word to express the possessive. Unfortunately, these inconsistencies may also crop up in our business writing which has a tendency to put us in a bad light before those whom we are trying to impress. Also, in past articles we have looked at some of the figures of speech such as metaphors (referring to one thing while involving another, ex. “You light up my life.”), similes (comparing two unlike things, ex. “Blind as a bat,”), oxymoron (using two opposing terms side by side, ex.
“Jumbo shrimp.”) and hyperbole, (using exaggeration for the effect, ex. “He’s older than dirt.”) However, the figure of speech being addressed here is paraprosdokian which is derived from the Greek word meaning “beyond expectation,” and is a type of literary device where the final part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected causing the reader to reinterpret the original part of the sentence and resulting in surprise or humor. Though it was years ago, and most folks today have no idea who he was, Henny Youngman, a comedian of that time, when telling his audience about his wife said, “Take my wife … Please!,” but more recently Homer, of The Simpsons fame, noted, “If I could just say a few words…I’d be a better public speaker.” Groucho Marx made great use of paraprosdokian phrases, and some of his one-liners are still being repeated like “Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read!” and “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it!” Winston Churchill also knew how to turn a phrase when he spoke about Clement Atlee and said, “A modest man who has much to be modest about,” and about a pompous fellow politician he said, “There but for the grace of God, goes God.” Churchill also pointed out that “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen” and “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried.” There is little doubt that Joan Rivers’ repertoire of jokes was large and three of them that fit the category of paraprosdokian phrases include ‘My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing: “Pick up, I know you’re
there,” “Looking 50 is great – if you’re 60,” and “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” Oscar Wilde also came up with a couple of zingers to include "Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go," and “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” Even George W. Bush got it when he noted, “It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it,” as did Albert Einstein – “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education,” and “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.” Although it comes from the track, when looking at business in general, Mario Andretti said it best – “If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough,” and “If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” And Alexandre Dumas was heard to comment “One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.” According to Peter Diamandus, founder of X Prize Foundation “The day before something is a breakthrough, it's a crazy idea.” And Marcelene Cox said, “If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.” On the subject of marriage and family, Mae West noted that “Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution,” and Zsa Zsa Gabor said “He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.” And of course we can’t forget the family animals – Mark Twain said “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way,” and in a comment from Terry Prachett, “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this,” and for those from the ‘Big Apple’ Phyllis Diller, another well-known come-
dienne, pointed out that “Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.” There are a whole slew of paraprosdokians that are for the most part humorous comments from unknown authors, several of which will follow, just because I am sure you will enjoy them: Where there's a will, I want to be in it; The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list; Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak; If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong; We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public; War does not determine who is right, only who is left; Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad; To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research; I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you; In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered, "a doctor;" Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy; You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice; I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure; To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target; Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car; You're never too old to learn something stupid; And this last one is for me: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one! Now wasn’t that fun? And while it is easy to quote other folk’s paraprosdokians you might want to try your hand at them!