Divine Ambition October 23

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Merging spirituality and professionalism Empowering women in both their personal and professional lives

DIVINE AMBITION

Training & Consultancy V o l . 2
RED MOUNTAIN
O C T O B E R 2 0 2 3 wwwredmtrainingcouk

Editors Notes

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately and feeling quite honestly middle aged It’s feeling as though I am gradually getting wiser and learning essential grown-up skills Lessons that perhaps should have been given & grasped earlier on But unfortunately, not always possible when you grew up in dysfunction I learnt things, sure, but not necessarily the essential life skills However, the lessons that I did learn I feel have equipped me to talk about the topics I do cover in Divine Ambition with confidence

Where I find myself, these days is smack bang in the middle of the sandwich generation This generation is defined as the group of middle-aged adults who care for both their aging parents and their own children I am watching and observing and preparing myself for the inevitable Harder now as all my fatherly love is channelled toward my aging stepfather. He now receives the full load of my paternal adoration My own birth father finally did exactly what I had feared my entire life and vanished like a hippie on a bad trip at Woodstock Never to be seen again.

I can now see in full swing the fruits of my stepfather’s investment For we now return his unconditional love and support him in his cycle of life.

In other news I have been reading a book called ‘How the World Sees You’ by Sally Hogshead It’s a book that helps you to understand your own personality type – embrace it fully and own it Mine turned out to be The Change Maker

This didn’t come as much of a surprise; I’ve always been creative and tended to be a little erratic on occasion This new awareness of myself has been quite enlightening – I now understand why I often make decisions that people don’t understand, or why I choose to do certain things differently Through reflection, I now have a better understanding of my needs I’ve come to respect and value the creative aspects of my personality, and I’m learning how to use them to my advantage

I have done psychometric tests before in the workplace, but this one was different it encourages you to be your true fabulous self It also highlights why there is so much conflict in the workplace Maybe it’s about time the recruitment process incorporated a little more science What skill gaps are Employers seeking to fill? What personality types are missing in the team? How can they play to the strengths better?

Anyway, I’m hoping that you enjoy these issues and find it useful As always, the topics I am covering are close to my heart, and generally come from personal experience Play close attention to my article on Tall poppy syndrome Last year was a super tough year for me!

Despite this I still believe that the situations I find myself in, cannot be fruitless, I live, I absorb, I learn, and I share Big Big, Thank you to our wonderful contributor, Alison Rielly who is also kindly sharing her lived experiences of Narcissistic abuse, in the first of her articles around Psychological abuse

Nicola Richardson www.redmtraining.co.uk 01
Contents. 03 Getting ready for Winter - how to boost your energy levels and immune system 02 06 Breaking the Glass Ceiling: Tackling Tall Poppy Syndrome to Empower Women in the Workplace 08 Is He A Narcissist? Written by Alison Rielly MA (Counselling Psych) BA Hons (Psych) 09 Jargon Buster 11 Discover the Joy of Drumming: Uncover the Many Benefits of This Ancient Art Form

HEALTH:

Getting ready for Winter -

Boost your energy levels and immune system.

I have a little secret I want to share with you For quite a while now I have been aware of the benefits of Vitamin B12 and it may have also popped into your awareness too

Many of us, due to modern lifestyles diet choices, stress and Covid are severely lacking the required levels of B12 No wonder we have been struggling to function at our best - let alone achieve the dizzy heights of the Wonder Women status that we all like to identify as

As is the way of the world right now, the NHS and GP’s are restricted, due to funding and will not even entertain making this available to us “average joe’s”

Even those with a diagnosed medical condition or weakened immune systems are having to jump through hoops Trying to sweet talk the (lovely) ladies on the GP’s reception desk to get the appointment and dosage that they need.

Thankfully, this is a now a problem of my past, and I am literally flying into Autumn

The very next day after my first dose, I woke up before the sun rose, and I didn’t feel the need to stop until I put my head on the pillow that night. When I promptly crashed and slept like a baby

As a busy working woman/wife/Mum and part time carer, with endless projects on the go all at once I have found myself so in love with this service and the ability it gives me to not only take good care of myself, but also my loved ones, by giving me the energy to be more “available”

After having Covid at least three times, surviving a very toxic working environment, I was 100% certain that my immune system was at an all time low I was constantly tired, brain fog was dominating my day and I was severely lacking in energy.

I became aware that Vitamin injections were available for the likes of the Rich Housewives and so started to do a bit of research

What I found was that not only could the TOWIE folk tap into this essential boost to wellbeing and immunity, I could also source a jab of liquid gold for myself from an aesthetic clinic with prices varying from £30- £130 for a single shot.

Then google took me on a journey, and I landed on a source, literally 5 minutes away in the next village!

Read on to learn more about Vitamin B12, the benefits and how to know when you are deficient I’ll also share some links for you

Caution Treat as confidential - we don’t want the B12 blowing up like the new celeb fave Ozempic.

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The Impact of Stress and Busy Lifestyles on Energy Levels and Immunity

Many of us are living a hectic lifestyle and dealing with high levels of stress As a result, our energy levels and immunity can be severely affected This is particularly true as we come out of the COVID-19 pandemic and enter the winter months, when many of us may be low on essential vitamins and minerals

One of the most common deficiencies is vitamin B12, which is essential for good health and can be difficult to detect. Symptoms can include fatigue, weak muscles, and a weakened immune system Vitamin B12 deficiency can also lead to anemia, depression, and cognitive decline

Fortunately, topping up your vitamin B12 levels can make a big difference in your ability to cope with life Vitamin B12 injections are an effective way to replenish your body's stores of this essential vitamin and can offer a number of positive effects It can help boost your energy levels, improve your cognitive function, and give your immune system the boost it needs to fight off colds and other illnesses

In addition to vitamin B12, other essential vitamins and minerals can help to support your energy levels and immunity Vitamins A, C, and D are all important for helping to protect against illnesses such as colds and the flu Eating a balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables can help to ensure that your body is getting the nutrients it needs

It's also important to take time for yourself and to manage your stress levels Exercise, meditation (reach out if you unsure how to get started), and other forms of relaxation can help to reduce stress and improve your overall health Taking regular breaks from work and other commitments can also help to ensure that you're getting enough rest and relaxation.

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In conclusion, stress and busy lifestyles can take a toll on your energy levels and immunity

To help combat this, it's important to ensure that you're getting the vitamins and minerals your body needs, as well as taking time for yourself and managing your stress levels

Vitamin B12 injections seriously boost your energy levels and support your immune system.

If you are local to Bedfordshire, I highly recommend the professional, friendly knowledgeable service from Alex at C&H Barton Pharmacy and Travel Clinic and Vitjab. All for the cost, of a totally doable £29.

I am sure i am not alone in the frustrations I have had over recent times trying to visit the Doctor It can for some, I am fully aware feel nothing less than traumatic. That is of course if you can actually get an appointment

The frustration is real Phoning at 8am to join a queuing system Only to finally get through at 8.45am and find out, all of the appointments have been taken You would be foolish to believe that the often abrupt lady on the end of the phone is able and willing to negotiate an appointment slot with you for tomorrow

Call back tomorrow morning at 8 am again and join the queuing system That fun game of pressing redial on a never ending loop, when you are met with the dulcet tones of an engaged tone

Let me spare you the stress! Going to C&H Barton Pharmacy, is actually a joy Nice people, who are kind and happy to give you the healthcare you need For a small fee (obvs) but it is so worth it

Ok so what do you need to do

Firstly go to the Vitjab website, create an account, add some vital details and health information, then ping over some of your hard earned cash, and await your emailed voucher

Once received you can go to the website of C&H and book an appointment for the B12 to be administered.

Wake up skipping the next day and repeat every 30 days/ 3 months Whatever works for you You will certainly start to feel when you are in need of your next top up. Listen to your body it will always tell you what it needs

https://www chbarton co uk/ https://www vitajab co uk/

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WORK LIFE

Breaking the Glass Ceiling: Tackling Tall Poppy Syndrome to Women in the Workplace

Tall Poppy Syndrome, a cultural phenomenon deeply ingrained in some societies, can have a detrimental impact on women in the workplace

Let us delve into what Tall Poppy Syndrome is, how it affects women's professional growth, and look at actionable solutions to overcome this challenge, ultimately promoting gender equality in the corporate world

Understanding Tall Poppy Syndrome

Tall Poppy Syndrome is a social phenomenon observed in various cultures, most notably in Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom It describes a tendency to cut down or criticize those who stand out, particularly those who achieve success or recognition. The metaphor of tall poppies in a field being cut down to size represents the envious attitude towards high achievers

Undermining Confidence: Women who excel in their careers often find themselves subjected to criticism and backhanded compliments, eroding their confidence. This negative feedback can make them doubt their abilities and hinder their professional growth.

Lack of Recognition: Tall Poppy Syndrome can lead to women's accomplishments being overlooked or attributed to others, diminishing their chances of advancement and the recognition they deserve.

Isolation: Women who are perceived as "too successful" may face isolation and resentment from colleagues, making it difficult to collaborate and build supportive relationships in the workplace

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Stifled Ambition: Tall Poppy Syndrome can discourage women from pursuing leadership roles or taking on high-profile projects for fear of backlash or criticism.

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How does Tall Poppy Syndrome Affects Women in the Workplace?
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Solutions to Overcome Tall Poppy Syndrome:

Here are a few ways in which an organisation can look to tackle and prevent these toxic cultures...

Promote Inclusivity and Allyship: Create a culture of inclusivity and allyship where colleagues actively support each other's success In particular encouraging male colleagues to be allies and advocates for women in the workplace.

Celebrate Achievements: Recognise and celebrate achievements openly, irrespective of gender Acknowledge the accomplishments of both men and women and ensure that credit is given where it is due

Mentorship and Sponsorship: Establish mentorship and sponsorship programs to help women develop their careers. Provide guidance, resources, and opportunities for skill development and networking

Leadership Training: Offer leadership training and development programs specifically designed for women. These programs can help women build the confidence and skills necessary to thrive in leadership roles

Educate Against Bias: Conduct workshops and training sessions on unconscious bias, highlighting the negative effects of Tall Poppy Syndrome By raising awareness, employees can actively work to overcome these biases

Encourage Self-Promotion: Encourage women to selfpromote their achievements and advocate for themselves Teach them effective communication skills to articulate their accomplishments without fear of backlash

Create a Safe Reporting Mechani confidential reporting mechanism for Poppy Syndrome or workplace bully employees to voice their concerns retaliation.

Conclusion:

Tall Poppy Syndrome is a complex issue that affects women's progress in the workplace.

By acknowledging its very existence and actively working to combat it, organisations can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for women to thrive.

Encouraging women to be ambitious and celebrating their achievements benefits not only individuals but also the entire organization, promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Overcoming Tall Poppy Syndrome needs to be a collective effort that can lead to a more balanced and empowered workforce.

If you are aware of any of these issues please make contact with Nicola Richardson redmountainuk@gmail.com if you wish to have an informal chat or discuss a tailored training approach to support you or your organisation.

Tailored training can empower employees to adapt quickly to difficult work environments, boost productivity, and ultimately contribute to the overall success of an organisation's objectives.

www redmtraining co uk

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Encourage women
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to be ambitious

Is He A Narcissist?

Today the terms “Narcissist”, “Psychopath” and “Sociopath” are commonly used to describe abusers, emotional manipulators and perpetrators of domestic violence

According to some professionals, describing perpetrators of violence using Mental Health diagnoses provides perpetrators with the excuse that they have a mental illness Thus, they are not responsible for the way they act

In this way, perpetrators can avoid taking responsibility for their actions and holding themselves accountable The fact is that perpetrators act in this way out of a need for power and control.

Furthermore, personality disorders are notoriously hard to treat and can only be diagnosed by mental health professionals Added to this is the fact that people who do suffer from these personality disorders rarely present themselves for treatment as they lack self-insight, often blaming others for their behaviour

Consequently, labelling somebody a Narcissist, a Psychopath or a Sociopath is problematic.

You are not CRAZY.

Even though I was a registered Psychologist for nearly 30 years, as my abuser did not present himself for therapy with me, I cannot ethically diagnose him with a personality disorder

Despite this, I still describe myself as a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse

I believe that describing myself as a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse is not about diagnosing my abuser. Rather it’s about describing the covert, hidden type of abuse I experienced, how he controlled, manipulated and brainwashed me to get his needs met, and how I felt about myself during that relationship and after I had escaped.

As a victim I blamed myself As a survivor I understand myself and thereby free myself from the self-limiting beliefs that he planted and drummed relentlessly into my head

Using the terminology related to Narcissistic Abuse allows survivors to recognise the processes, the behaviours, the abuse and the symptomology they experienced during the relationship and after their escape

The relief I felt was tangible when I was able to identify; that what I had experienced was well documented and recognised

I no longer felt alone and crazy I was able to say “Yes, he did that to me. And I felt just like that ” I was able to identify the patterns of behaviour described by professionals in this field Most importantly I was able to understand that I had been subjected to intentionally cruel, predatory and abusive behaviour

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Despite this, I still describe myself as a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse.

I still don’t understand how one human being can treat someone they purport to love in this way But trying to understand him depleted me of the energy I required for my own healing I don’t need to understand why he did it I need to acknowledge that he did it and that it was purposeful and intentional

I learned that he was probably on the lookout for someone just like me to prey on Perpetrators are predators and I “ticked” all his boxes

There wasn’t some defect in my personality. The responsibility for his behaviour towards me did not fall on my shoulders I was not to blame His treatment of me wore me down

I was subjected to Love Bombing, Gaslighting, Double Binds, Silent Treatment, Devaluation, Discard and Hoovering I became Trauma Bonded to him

All this terminology is useful because it helps to remove the self-blame that we take upon ourselves in abusive relationships Of-course, the abuser wants us to blame ourselves for the way we were treated because this keeps us disempowered and under his control

It is my intention, over the next few articles, to write about the different Narcissistic Abuse behaviours, using current terminology so that other victims are empowered to identify the abuse they experience. Knowing that this type of abuse, often described as “Psychological Murder” , is identifiable and recognised is empowering for those of us who have lived through it and thought that no-one would believe us

*The pronoun “he” will be used in these articles because the majority of perpetrators are men However, this does not mean that women are not and cannot be Narcissists

Red Mountain Training & Consultancy has set up a new Crowdfunding page to raise funds for Women who find themselves in need of support after experiencing adversity. Once the target has been reached a vote will be cast for nominated charities

To contribute please use this link: https://www justgiving com/crowdfunding/redmountai ntraining?utm term=6mbQnx2EE

Alison Rielly speaks and writes from the heart of her own personal and professional experience

She is a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse and was a Counselling Psychologist for nearly 30 years

Alison is committed to creating awareness of Narcissistic Abuse and supporting Victims on their journey to Survivor and Thriver in her role as a Trauma Coach

You can contact Alison here: asjrielly@gmail com

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You are not CRAZY

Manipulation tactic “Hoovering”

Someone who hoovers fears that their target will “get away” from them, so they may engage in love bombing, feigning crises, stalking, or smear campaigns in order to suck up all their target's time, energy, and attention.

JARGON BUSTER

Trauma Bond

Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a recurring pattern of abuse.

Trauma bonding is one reason that leaving an abusive situation can feel confusing and overwhelming. It involves positive and/or loving feelings for an abuser, making the abused person feel attached to and dependent on their abuser.

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Ringo Starr

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DIVINE DEVELOPMENT
"Drumming is my middle name."
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DIVINE DEVELOPMENT: Discover the Joy of Drumming: Uncover the Many Benefits of This Ancient Art Form

Drumming is an ancient form of music that has been used for centuries to express emotions and provide a sense of relaxation and wellbeing

It has recently been studied for its therapeutic benefits, and evidence suggests that it can help to reduce stress and anxiety.

Drumming works by providing a rhythmic and repetitive movement that can help to calm the body and mind It also helps to release endorphins, which are the body’s natural feelgood chemicals.

Studies have shown that when we drum, the heart rate and breathing rate both slow down, providing a sense of relaxation and wellbeing.

Research has also found that drumming can reduce cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress, and can increase levels of serotonin, the hormone associated with happiness and contentment. It can help to reduce feelings of anger and aggression, and can promote feelings of joy and contentment.

Drumming can also help to reduce stress and anxiety in the long term It has been shown to help people to process their emotions and to become more aware of their thoughts and feelings. This can help to reduce stress levels and increase feelings of emotional stability

Drumming can also be used as a form of self-expression, allowing people to express their emotions in a safe and creative way It also provides an outlet for energy, helping to reduce feelings of frustration and helplessness

Overall, drumming is a powerful tool for reducing stress and anxiety, and for promoting feelings of wellbeing. It can help to reduce physical and mental tension, and it can also help to increase feelings of joy and contentment So if you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, why not give drumming a try? You may just find that it helps you to cope with stress and anxiety, and to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.

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Are you passionate and driven, looking for opportunities to share your unique perspective and experiences? Do you believe that your voice deserves to be heard and that your insights could contribute to DIVINE AMBITION?

In today's world, it is essential to empower and uplift women's voices, while showcasing the diversity of our experiences At DIVINE AMBITION we firmly believe that everyone has a story worth sharing, and we are searching for likeminded women who can bring their expertise, creativity, and passion to the publication.

Do you want to get involved?

Our aim is to create a platform that amplifies voices, inspires others, and champions genuine connections among women Together, let's inspire, inform, and empower others through the power of our shared knowledge and experiences Don't hesitate to reach out and let us know how you envision contributing or if you would like to be interviewed.

We are excited to embark on this new chapter with you! Email: redmountainuk@gmail.com

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DIVINE AMBITION Next Edition November 2023. Email: redmountainuk@gmail com Tel: 07871618225 LinkedIn: www linkedin com/in/nicrich You Tube: @nicolarichardsonWW Order book: https://www partnershippublishing co uk/product-page/natural-mystic-nicola-richardson 14 www.redmtraining.co.uk

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