Rebelle Magazine Spring/Summer 2023

A Letter From Our Publisher Making Space Spring/Summer 2023

When I was a little girl, I loved to dance. My mother tells a story about how my brother would whine and complain, “Mom, she is twirling again!” Likely, because that meant I was carelessly encroaching on “his” space. And although I am small (barely 5’2”) I have never had a problem taking up as much room as I needed for whatever activity I attempted.

But as I got older, it seemed that space was in limited supply. Many of my peers were competing for it, hoarding it, even It felt I needed to earn the space I was given to occupy I needed to create something exceptionally meaningful to contribute if I wanted to be seen Thus, the beginning of my perfectionist tendencies I know I’m not the only one who received this message either directly or indirectly

What I recognize now is to be truly seen and heard by another human being is a desire that motivates us more than we care to admit And sadly, some people are willing to do anything to protect what they feel is space belonging to them.

Not the women in this issue. These women are brave and abundant and happy to take up space while making more of it for others. They use their voices, Kelli Lemon Lead With Black, and their expertise, Making Space In Space. They make time to get away from the noise, How to Host A Freelancer Retreat, and protect space for hobbies, leisure and Fun.

I for one am planning to keep making space for myself and for others, not because they have something exceptional to share, but because we all deserve to be seen (Insert twirl )

-Shannon Siriano Greenwood

Spring/Summer 2023

Editor + Designer: Shannon Siriano Greenwood

Cover Photography: Sofia Owen

Rebelle Magazine is a digital and print publication published by Lemon Umbrella, LLC (dba Rebelle Con).

Interested in contributing an article to a future issue of Rebelle Magazine or to the Rebelle Blog? Email shannon@rebellecon.com with your pitch or other inquiries.

Emmaline Chappell is a certified personal stylist who works to help busy professional women look and feel fabulous in their clothes every day.

Channing Gibb, an artist and long time friend of Rebelle created the above portrait of Emmaline before the two of them had ever met IRL. They were connected during the pandemic when Rebelle programs were available online Now that we are back to gathering in person, we hope you have a chance to meet Emmaline

C O N T R I B U T O R S

Sofia Owen (Cover Photography + Design, Kelli Lemon Leads With Black) A photographer with a passion for design, Sofia was born in Bogota, Colombia. Founder of SO ATELIER, a studio supporting individuals, companies, and teams to capture, create, and curate brand-aligned visuals through custom photography, video editing, graphic design, and web design

2 3 4 5 6

Natalie Miller-Moore (How To Host A Retreat As A Freelancer) Natalie is a creative connector, bringing together people, words and ideas as a communications consultant Her passion is getting women to tell the truth about their lives, so we can all have healthier, more equitable communities.

Kate Neale Cooper (There's No Such Thing As Women's Intuition) Kate Neale Cooper is an editor at Cognoscenti, the ideas and opinion page of WBUR, and the creator of Skin of Our Teeth, a newsletter for women who feel like they’re just barely getting by.

Amy Cross (A Case for Handwritten Notes) A writer and editor living in Richmond, VA with her husband and toddler. She believes life is richer with a good book, a good meal and great friends.

Michelle Mercurio (Kelli Lemon Leads With Black) is a catalyst and authenticist who helps humans seek themselves, be more of who they really are, and free themselves from the stories that aren’t serving them so they can experience more meaningful businesses and lives

Tara McMullin (When Are You Not Working) is a writer, podcaster, and producer who investigates the future of work through philosophy, critical theory, and culture She’s the author of What Works: A Comprehensive Framework to Change the Way We Approach Goal-Setting and the host of the What Works podcast.

We Wake Up To Help People

The name Sweet Talk Strategy was inspired by one burning question: how do we get people saying sweet things about you? It wakes us up in the morning and keeps us creative all day long During 15+ years of work in Virginia, we decided it was time to create a new way to approach marketing for small business and nonprofits Here are a few things that make us different:

1: Content should be custom:

size fits all" approach to marketing We let you do the talking and we do the listening Then we ask more questions Only then, do we make recommendations that fit your goals, budget, and timeline

2: A collective of creatives is more powerful:

We don't believe in a "one We are

fortunate to have relationships with dozens of creatives. That allows us and custom match your brand to photographers, videographers, designers, and social media pros who fit your aesthetic, budget, and even professional personality

3: Never stop learning:

and computer screens, real life connections are the most powerful We are committed to sharing resources, events, and opportunities for us all connect, learn, and grow together

4: Make a difference with every movement: Our Rebelles know

While it's tempting to live behind our phone that we rise together! We love working with nonprofits and connecting businesses to local causes This deepens your brand's reach and ensures we can also be part of making positive impacts in our community

Let's talk: megan@sweettalkstrategy com

Brands We're Growing With

Photography by Ashley Loth of Sound Snap Photography

MAKING SPACE IN SPACE

Photograph by Pat Bourque

Sabrina Thompson, rocket scientist and atmospheric physicist, saw an opportunity to combine her passion for science, art, and fashion to inspire the next generation of girls and carve out a business opportunity in space.

Unless you are in the field yourself, you probably can count the number of times you encountered a rocket scientist (if at all) It is one of those fields shrouded in mystery and prestige So when we discovered the work of Sabrina Thompson, artist, fashion lover, rocket scientist and atmospheric physicist, among other nomenclatures, we knew this was someone we needed to get to know better She personifies what it looks like to live as a multi-passionate entrepreneur Thompson combines her interests, academic pursuits, and work experience into something that creates meaningful change in the world Her work as an author, speaker, and educator is exposing the next generation of girls to STEM through art and fashion. She is a skateboard-riding science-minded business person creating fashion forward apparel in anticipation of the upcoming wave of space tourism Obviously, we had to know more

QAt what point in your career did you say, “Being a rocket scientist

and atmospheric physicist isn’t challenging enough, I should do more with my life?”

AI actually functioned as a rocket scientist and an artist before becoming an atmospheric physicist While trying to figure out what to do next in my career, I found myself asking the questions like:

What is the purpose of designing all of these orbits around these celestial bodies? What are we trying to figure out and why is it important? One day while shadowing one of my mentors (who happened to be a former astronaut and the head of the Earth Science Division at NASA Goddard), I picked his brain. His name was Dr. Piers Sellers. Before becoming an astronaut, Dr Sellers worked for many years as a climatologist By the end of that day, I found myself extremely interested in climate change Next thing I knew, I was pursuing a Ph D in atmospheric physics and working on research that allowed me to answer some of those science questions I once had

I am very optimistic, to the point that people used to think it was childlike when I would express some of the far-reaching goals and aspirations I had Some people thought it was cute (like they would a puppy), while others either did not take me seriously or tried to “bring me back down to reality ”

QWhat happened after you made the decision to pursue more education?

AAlthough I passed the qualifying exams (which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, academically)

I did not finish the Ph D , program Instead, in August of 2021, I finished with a Master’s degree and started pursing projects outside of work (and school) that inspired me and made me feel like I was using my gifts, talents, and skills for a purpose greater than myself

Photographs by Pat Bourque

QA lot of your work is inspired by your desire to empower the next generation of girls Who

would you say inspires you and why?

AIt’s funny, but until I met Dr Piers Sellers, who unfortunately is no longer with us, I would say I was

inspired by people who were far out of reach For example, people like Maya Angelou, Dr Martin Luther King Jr , Malcolm X, etc I looked up to people who exhibited leadership, courage, and power, especially during hard times Although I’m still inspired by such people, Dr Sellers was the first person I met personally who inspired me from the start In addition to being one of the smartest people I know, he lived life to the fullest He was extremely passionate and hard working, but somehow he made managing a division full of top

My mind is always full of ideas flipflopping from fashion, art, and design to science, math, and engineering. It’s an insane world inside of my head, and it feels good when I can create something useful - and sometimes impactful - with that mental energy. More importantly, if I can help open up the minds of youth and empower them to be the innovators of the future, that’s icing on the cake.

scientists from around the world look easy He embodied an overwhelming optimistic attitude that was so infectious, yet somewhat childlike It wasn’t until I met Dr Sellers that I became inspired, as well as encouraged, by seeing what great things can be achieved in one ’ s lifetime if we remain optimistic and have the audacity to pursue big dreams! Since then, I’ve been inspired by many more people who pursue dreams that benefit and positively impact the world as a whole Today, Pharrell Williams is one of those people I hope to meet him one day

QLast year, you ran a Kickstarter campaign to design a prototype for the first spacesuit specifically for women Why now?

Photograph by Pat Bourque

AIn June 2019, NASA announced a new directive that opened the International Space Station for

commercial use This opened up so many opportunities for commercial companies to manufacture goods in space, build space vehicles, platforms, and habitats, as well as stimulate space tourism and encourage private astronauts

In the last 60 years, more than 600 people have flown in space The majority of these have been astronauts who are employed by the government/military As launch technology continues to improve, reducing launch-toorbit cost, I believe the cost to send humans to space will soon follow this trend There are so many space companies popping up on the scene now, making space exploration accessible to the many who never imagined they’d meet government requirements to become an astronaut or work in the field as a scientist or engineer.

Today, people can win or buy time in space. They are able to chose what they will do there, and now, more and more training centers are available to prepare these citizen astronauts for a journey of a lifetime.

Knowing what is already happening, as well as what is to come, the big question is, "What will these folks wear when they’re in space?!" As an aspiring astronaut, myself, what would I want to wear on my journey to space? I could go on and say more about the push for inclusivity in space, but I think at this point that’s a given I believe there is no better time than now to push for more when in space Through my company, GIRL IN SPACE CLUB, I plan to create functional, yet fashionable flight suits, space travel wear, and more, for female explorers Whether they’re on a mission to explore space or conduct missions right here on Earth, our goal is to make sure they are safe, comfortable, and stylish in the process

On top of all of this, our major goal is to inspire more girls to become tomorrow’s innovators through the products we develop and the STEAM (science, technology, engineering, arts and mathematics) educational services we provide

QThe design of space travel apparel has been primarily functional up until now, how has your community of scientists reacted to you bringing a fashion component in the mix?

Both men and women I’ve spoken to, love and support the idea of making spacewear more fashionable AND functional! They believe it’s about time, especially the women. Many shared ideas, suggestions, and given feedback on our first flight suit prototype A lot of feedback, from a functional perspective, included adding a feature for women to be able to use the restroom without taking entire suit off We quickly went into engineering mode to solve this problem, filed a patent application to protect our invention, then started the production process

Before going into production, in addition to our Kickstarter backers, we pre-sold flight suits to an allfemale astronaut crew of 9 who will be simulating a mission to Mars (Hypatia I), as well as the first Black woman who will travel to space with Blue Origin (Aisha Bowe) Although we are still in the early stages, we hope to apply lessons learned to the more complex space travel suit, which is up next!

Photograph by Torren Moore

A TO SPACE GATHER

When photographer, Jacqui DePas toured The Yellow House, a property in the Forest Hill area of Richmond, VA, the energy of the space called to her She had been looking for better work and home separation and found a space to bring people together

R: A building is a milestone investment for a small business owner. What gave you the confidence to make this decision?

Finding confidence is a constant battle as an entrepreneur I think we juggle from being overly confident to having imposter syndrome I have been looking for an opportunity to open an office/studio in Richmond since moving here in 2018 I have looked from Midlothian to Church Hill trying to find the right space This house was originally meant for my sister to buy and live in (I’m still trying to convince her to move out of DC and come to Richmond ) I went to see this house for her and kept thinking about it When it didn't sell right away, I thought maybe it was waiting for me

R: Why is a physical space important to you? There is a lot to be said about intentionality and thoughtfulness of a physical space. I wanted a space for my office. I wanted a space to invite clients I wanted control over the environment during shoots I wanted to cut back ime to and from client locations I space to invite other business owners art of all of the wants was needing to ce that could serve them all my office was in my home (in what the formal sitting room) right off the Every time I walked by my office I l a twinge of guilt Maybe I should just email maybe that client got back to be I can retouch that photo really quick as at my desk working, my mind was e feel guilty about the piles of laundry the floor of the laundry room….that the does need a walk…maybe I should h instead of just snack…has that ways been that wrinkled? Not only that, I would find myself working at all he day I would be editing while the family was cuddled up watching a movie

R: What types of events will you be hosting in the house?

I am so excited to have a space for artists to showcase their work The first level of The Yellow House will house the gallery that changes with each featured artist We will host happy hours, documentary nights to spark conversation around important topics Ellie Burke will be using The House monthly for her meditation classes We will host networking events, bookclubs, author talks, workshops, classes, board/team meetings I have an insanely talented friend, who I met through SWELL, Wendell Welder, who will be creating an oasis in the backyard. I can't wait to take photos out there and host tea parties and lunches al fresco.

“I want business owners to have access to affordable but amazing photography to help grow their brand - and in turn we all can grow.”

R: What was it about this house?

The energy That it has character That it has a past and is still standing That each ownership a new iteration takes place in the same walls that have witnessed World Wars, civil rights, and Kurt Cobain dying I love that this house is filled with light and yet has tons of wall space for art That it is a space that was built with the sole intention of gathering and thoughtful conversation I know this sounds extra, but I also hand pick the vendors that have done work on the House to get it up and running They have got to be good people Everyone has been joyful, kind people.

MAKING SPACE FOR SUPPORT

Four ways to invite in more support

For so many of the (self-described) ambitious professional people-pleasers in our community of women, it is really difficult to ask for help, even when we need it most

But we ’ ve learned, one of the best remedies for overwhelm is finding a support squad, a group of people who can pitch in when you need something off your plate, help you make important decisions, and give you much needed perspective when you are potentially holding yourself back from asking for what you need

After years of working with women to “design their own lives”, we know that having help that we can count on feels really good Here are a few of the ways we suggest you get started

JOIN A GROUP

We created SWELL by Rebelle to connect successful women with one another whether they are working inside companies or successful business owners, to create a safe space to talk through their challenges We literally practice asking for help inside of our groups because it is so common for our members to need more help than they are asking for Asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome, it means you are human

Visit readytorebelle com/swell for info

HIRE YOUR SQUAD

Whether it is a therapist, cleaning lady, meal prep service, or a babysitter there is a time when the expertise of a professional is what you need to feel the weight of responsibility lifted off your shoulders Your time is valuable, which means it is not selfish or lazy to hire people to do a job that you could do (if you only had more time)

ASK ANYWAY (EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY’LL SAY NO)

So many emotions come up when we need help, vulnerability, fear of rejection, disappointment, but we don’t have to let those emotions drive our decisions We can choose and choose again when trying to find the right support for ourselves in the season we are in If you need help, ask for it, if they say no, you are exactly where you started

GET COMFORTABLE SAYING NO

It may seem counterintuitive that you need to learn to say no if you want good support, but having brain space to know what you really need only comes from not over committing in the first place When you clear away the clutter and the noise of too many activities and responsibilities by learning that “No ” is a complete sentence, you will find that giving all of your time away doesn’t mean all of that energy comes back

SWELL by Rebelle

A 12-Month peer mentor 12-Month mentor A 12-Month peer mentor program where ambitious program program where ambitious professional women can learn, professional women can learn, professional women can learn, grow, and share Meet with your grow, and share. Meet with your grow, your very own group of peers, once very own group of peers, once own group of once per month, facilitated by our per facilitated our per facilitated our trusted leadership coaches. trusted leadership coaches trusted coaches http://readytorebelle.com http://readytorebelle com com

lifesty

le

when are younotworking

Words by: Tara McMullin

"Work-life balance" is an increasingly passé term. Some say it's impossible to equally balance paid work on one side and life on the other. Others advocate for noticing when one realm of life needs more from us and responding in kind Still others taut the benefits of work-life integration finding the ways life can complement work and vice versa

I'm sympathetic to all of these arguments "Work-life balance" isn't a term I've used for many years But as far as our alternatives to work-life balance go, they all seem to uphold the basic premise that there is work and there is life. This premise is a fundamentally gendered one. When there is work on one hand and life on the other, we don’t see the home as a worksite. “Life” stands in for leisure or family time and precludes the required reproductive labor that is still predominantly done by women or outsourced to people from marginalized communities

It's no surprise that the idea of "work-life balance" first emerged in the late 1970s and early 1980s as a way to describe the needs of newly minted working (white, middleclass) women Women who entered the workforce also juggled their responsibilities at home. It wasn’t a question of balancing work with leisure or even quality family time.

It was a question of how the laundry would get done, the meals would get made, or the house would get cleaned. It wasn’t work-life balance at all; it was work-life work balance.

Of note, working-class white women, as well as most immigrants and women of color, had never been the subject of anxiety over the ability to balance work and life Their availability for constant work was taken as a given

Life work or reproductive labor is the work that goes into preparing family members (and often oneself) for the next day of work or school. It reproduces labor power each day so that employers can use that labor power to produce goods and services. In that way, life work may not be paid, but it's still work done in service of the market.

A couple of decades after "work-life balance" became a hot commodity (econ pun intended), the gendered division of life work started to even out But that has not meant that female partners in dual-income heterosexual relationships have less life work to do

Not only have we been forced to take on individual responsibility for needs that used to be community or employer responsibilities, but also because we've learned to pursue all of our activities in the mode of work.

Exercising makes you more productive and helps manage stress. Online therapy turns poor working conditions into a personal project. Social media turns you into a personal brand. Eating well increases your mental acuity. Listening to podcasts helps you skill up.

And what about TV time? According to Dallas Smythe, an economist of communications, you're putting in hours as part of an "audience " This work is all about learning what problems or needs you might have and what you might buy to solve them And our audience work is hardly limited to TV or radio time anymore We carry the tools of this work with us everywhere we go Similarly, philosopher Ivan Illich coined the term “shadow work” to describe the various activities required to meet one ’ s needs when paid a monetary wage (i.e., we go shopping for food because we don’t work to grow our own food). And economist Guy Standing describes how members of the “precariat” (e.g., gig workers, freelancers, day laborers, contingent workers, etc.) have to do unpaid work like identifying opportunities and pitching themselves in order to do paid work

“The total worker, in brief, is a figure of ceaseless, tensed, busied activity,” writes philosopher Andrew Taggert for Aeon, “ a figure, whose main affliction is a deep existential restlessness fixated on producing the useful.” Taggert explains that the “total worker” isn’t the person who’s constantly working because of an unmanageable workload but instead, the person who adopts a single-mindedness to achieve daily tasks with “productivity, effectiveness and efficiency ” The total worker adopts “planning, skillful prioritising and timely delegation” in order to get it all done The total worker believes every activity can be enhanced by approaching it in the same way they would tackle a project at work.

We're becoming—or have become—the "total worker."

For all these reasons, I believe "work-life balance" and even "work-life integration" are woefully insufficient to describe our relationship with work today. Work and life are not two separate spheres (they never were). And life is not without its own forms of work. We must become fluent in the language of "total work" to dismantle it and make different choices.

The amount of life work required today is vastly more than it used to be.

WOMEN OWNED WAYS TO UNWIND

We rounded up some of our favorites from women owned businesses that understand just how important rest, relaxation, and restoration is for our wellbeing.

Puff Puff Pass Candle by Burn Down For What, The Well Collective Studio located in Richmond, VA, River Organics CBD, and Rest As Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey.

AAs a culture that values productivity and output, it is encouraging that hobbies remain a cherished part of

our human experience To do something because it brings joy, calm, relaxation, or even escape is a gift to ourselves and those around us We asked our community on LinkedIn, a place commonly known for work bragging and resume exchange, “What are your hobbies and what do they do for you?” The responses were thoughtful and diverse The activities we pursue in our leisure are a form of selfcare that is completely unique to the individual and their life experiences While it can be tempting to turn every interest into a side hustle, many of us are holding on to the restorative power of having a hobby, just because

Seeking adrenaline rushes. I am a thrill seeker so I am always seeking the next adventure I have done zip lining, white water rafting, skydiving, roller coasters My career has always centered upon planning and making sure everything is controlled, so these hobbies allow me to break away from those constraints and feel the rush that comes from letting go and being at the will of something greater than myself

-Jamie Marino

Digging for treasures. Rock hunting and fossil collecting, I treated my family to a state park pass and drag my children and dog out with me I have a list of places and treasures to find, my younger son frequently refuses to wear a backpack because I have been known to load all available gear with rocks and my dog brings me random treasures when we are out on our walks I have always been fascinated by geology wanted to join the Airforce but I grew up in a country and a household where things like that were not deemed “practical!”, nor was it allowed because of apartheid

-Ushan Govender

Activities with kids. I love playing video games with my teen boys I started with Minecraft and has evolved from there We also love watching Marvel movies together

-Hope Lawrence

Learning a new language. I've been learning Korean for 3 years I pay my friend to tutor me virtually for 4 hours per week, and I recently became in-person study buddies with a coworker who just starting working at my job (they're Korean-American) I've found that if I go a while without my Korean lessons, it really negatively affects my mental health The lessons give me a chance to set aside time and do something solely for my own enjoyment I get to use my brain in a different way Learning and working towards a goal that's just my own can make all the difference in getting through a difficult work week

- Carole Showell

Using my hands. I like hobbies that I can do with my hands, primarily cross stitch and paint by numbers I think part of both of these that really appeals to me is the ability to create something without having to worry about the possibility of over-thinking it The pattern is there for me to follow Do I change things up every now and then? Sure But I'm not stuck with the dreaded analysis paralysis that comes from starting from scratch It's such a nice brain break as a result

-Lindsey Leesmann, MBA

Fun

When professional artist Christine Olmstead sat down with her marriage counselor, she received a proper scolding. “OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS ARE SO SERIOUS, DO YOU EVER HAVE ANY FUN!?!” were the words the counselor practically shouted at the couple Chrstine had to agree, they have been bad at fun, and this admonition from their therapist made them look at themselves and ask some questions

What does ‘fun’ mean and look like? What is the difference between fun and enjoyment?

“Missionary” #2, 60″x72″

“Missionary” #1, 60″x72″

“Cowgirl” #1, 60″x72″

“Cowgirl” #2, 60″x72″

What’s the difference? Why don’t we prioritize fun and play as we age? How can it look different for different people?

Christine and her husband started being intentional about fun and trying more things, being unafraid of the absurd, or ridiculous –giving frivolity a chance They sipped wine, played twister on canvas under the light of a disco ball and went where fun led The colorful splotches at the bottom of a few of these works are colorful toes – the remnants of twister

"In my thoughts and experiments these past months we hosted hide-and-go-seek parties, disco dance parties and played twister on canvas in paint that led to other things…"

She made giant fruit by the foot sculptural candy, and started researching brass casting.

"The work has felt curious and I still feel as though I’m just at the beginning of my research on “fun” and incorporating it into more works and series "

These 5 pieces are collaborative works and a part of an ongoing study into fun They are what you think they are

For any questions regarding these works or for a shipping and delivery quote please contact info@christineolmstead.com

Why do adults seem to be good at enjoyment and pleasure – seemingly focused on nervous system relaxation and why are children so good at unbridled fun and play?

caree

kelli lemon

leads with black

It’s a warm winter morning and Kelli Lemon buzzes around her Urban Hang Suite (UHS) coffee shop in a knitted rainbow sweater, white tee shirt, and light blue jeans She smiles fully, dimples popping, as she touches base with her staff and the people she passes

“You good?” she asks a regular ordering lunch before shouting “heyyyy!” through the open front door to an older gentleman walking down Broad Street.

Kelli talks to everyone Her voice is an invitation, an acknowledgment that the humans she encounters are welcome in the spaces she creates

The Urban Hang Suite is the hub of coffee, connections, and culture located in the heart of Jackson Ward in Richmond It opened in the fall of 2018 as a result of Kelli’s vision to give people a place to “hang out” and engage with one another

“This is everyone’s house, only dope and different You can have conversations, get inspired by community, and get into other people’s business,” she grins “Everyone’s got a story and this is the place to get in on it ”

UHS was Kelli’s first foray into owning a brick-and-mortar physical space, but she has a long history of making space for connection, change, and growth in the city A serial social entrepreneur, Kelli has always driven cultural transformation by bringing next-level creativity and energy to her mission to passionately connect people through food, sports, arts, and education.

Now, five years after opening, we sit down to discuss what it means to make space in Richmond, reflect on why she does her work, and contemplate what it means to leave a legacy that impacts future generations

Story by Michelle Mercurio

Photography by Sofia Owen

Styling by Emmaline Chappell

Suit from Our Life by Stellas

ON OPENING URBAN HANG SUITE

I remember being asked to speak at CreativeMornings and the topic was Mystery I had just left Mama J’s brand and was stepping out to create my own thing When we think of mystery, we think of the unknown We question things I kept envisioning a big question mark and then I led with that question mark. I knew I wanted to create a coffee place that fueled connections and was a hub of culture, but I led with WHY I was creating this space

My why has stayed the same I wanted to connect the people who were doing dope things in this city with more opportunities I am still committed to living my passions for food, sports, arts, and education out loud. Passion drives this space and it can help us make space

what's true ABOUT this space

People come in here to “ear-hustle,” to hear what’s going on in the streets Our location is central We’re connected to politics, higher education, arts and culture, and to your everyday human who doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from or what sleeping arrangements will be available That all happens right here in this neighborhood, on this corner

"The pandemic made talking to each other HARD. It made connecting hard. We had to rethink how we checked in on each other and how we GATHERED. It had to be quick. Now we can have deeper conversations again "

"When I walk into a room, I lead with Black. I know some women wonder why I don’t lead with being a woman, but some women have had access to places that I haven’t as a Black woman. I have to start with Black. l think there is space for everybody to be involved "

What does it mean to "buy the block"

When we own the spaces we operate in, we build a foundation. Some people don’t think that it’s even an opportunity to own their space and be able to pass it down That’s what creates generational wealth That’s what lessens the struggle Having locally-owned longterm investments supports the city and its people It goes back to having a seat at the table If we’re not at the table when development is discussed, we don’t have a voice When we own the space, we do have a voice

This area was once highly Black- and Brown-owned and throughout our history, people have been displaced. How can we create a seat at the table and make space to ensure that everyone has a voice? We have to be at the table before the next opportunity even arises And, when we don’t have a seat at the table, we build another table That’s what we’ve done

on what is changing

UHS is a space of transition and evolution Every great space changes We’re changing right now We’re looking at how to continue to show what Richmond is all about and what it means to “Live Richmond ”

I think every local place in Richmond, especially in the hospitality field, is looking carefully at the experiences we provide. Notice I didn’t say “service,” I said experience. I believe it’s our job to know what’s happening in the city and connect people to relevant experiences And not just locals I want to know who’s at the convention center or staying up the road at the Marriott and the Hilton and help them see what’s happening locally I want to offer them suggestions on other places to check out and pay it forward

Collective and the jwc foundation as co-founder of the Jackson Ward

Richmond is known as the birthplace of Black entrepreneurship and the work we’re doing in this space is rooted in leveraging our collective networks, resources, and information to build sustainable Blackowned businesses

The Jackson Ward Collective® (JWC) is a group of Black business owners that receives coaching, access to resources, and support of the community to help make their businesses thrive

The JWC Foundation exists to help Black business owners learn, grow, and have the support to own their businesses.

Owning a business is more than putting a name on the door and registering a website It’s about owning all aspects of the business to make it viable, scalable, and profitable It’s about owning the physical space in addition to owning the work that is being done

ON STAYING CREATIVE AND HAVING FUN

I found the four things that I love to do and found a purpose for them. And, they pay me. It doesn’t look like a typical nine-to-five I work with people to identify gaps and provide opportunities, and often that means that I step in to provide the experience so that the conversations that matter can happen My talent is my voice It’s my job to bring energy to the room Real connection occurs when people are having fun We need to have fun, even when it’s something serious like hosting Controversy/History at the Valentine Museum* and even when the topics are heinous, like the racism in Richmond.

We have to have energetic conversations that are open and human-focused Education with energy evolves things

I want to continue to lift people up and then get out of the way I know I stand on the shoulders of Mother Maggie ** You don’t have to remind me of that We are living and creating because of what she started She fought harder battles than what we have to fight now As she and others fought, they knew their legacy work would be carried on They passed their torches to the generation before us who then passed them to us And we will continue to pass them on I want the next generations to keep creating access and connections I can’t wait to see who opens up the next space

*Controversy/History is a series of conversations exploring the challenges that face our region from the perspectives of speakers and guests, and together we discuss a way forward as a community

**Entrepreneur and educator Maggie Lena Walker (July 15, 1864 – December 15, 1934) transformed Black business practices and gained national prominence as the first woman to own a bank in the United States She lived, worked, wrote, published, and led transformative change in the Jackson Ward neighborhood of Richmond.

As A Freelancer Host A Retreat how to

by: Natalie Miller-Moore

As a freelancer, I set aside my business registration anniversary each year to meet with myself and think through my goals for the year ahead (You’ve got to do this annual meeting if you are an LLC, so don’t be shy!) But there are other important reasons to retreat from the day-to-day of owning a business

break the cycle

Save your stress for check in time instead of constantly reviewing and revising what you are doing, what you are offering your clients and wondering if it’s working. Spend some time setting goals and then a plan for them, set it and go…constantly adjusting is going to burn a lot of fuel and you’ll be exhausted, but also unable to tell if things worked because you didn’t give them enough time to pan out.

a time + money process check

How do you spend your time? How much money are you making? What clients / projects are eating up all your time and does that match with how much they are paying you? Find out how much money is actually coming in, from where, and what’s the value of that for your business?

refuel + renew

Give yourself space to look at long-term goals It doesn’t have to be all done today or this year, but if you can, make changes that will re-align yourself a little bit at a time 1% change will still give you a different trajectory over time You deserve some time to think, and play, and to be proud of yourself!

Freelancer's Retreat : Sample Agenda

9am: Get Centered - An honest assessment of how last year went

What was your favorite project? Which project went sideways? What is getting you headed in the right direction? What's your general sense of the health of your business? How do you literally feel related to your own health?

packing list

Comfy Snacksclothes – lots of snacks!

Paperfilesrelatedtoyourwork

Magazines/inspiration

How could you have served them better? How they could have communicated better?

Was the project "worth it" for you? How do you know? Which client is the most promising for additional work?

11am: Break it down - Review past clients & projects noon: lunch break

Scissors/glue/tape/markers Post it notes

Bigsheetsofpaper(like

Asketchbooksorbutcherpaper) way to organize your notes andfiles,likebinsorfilefolders

Rewardsforyourself

1pm: Get Balanced - How you are balancing your personal life and business

Self-care – how's it going? What boundaries do you need to implement?

When was the last time you had a day with no work contamination?

How is your support system at home and at work? Do you have people to call when there's a crisis or something unexpected?

3pm: Goal Setting

Dream big / vision boards: let yourself imagine what you'd love, and make a visual reminder of it No limits…just pour it out

4:30pm: Accountability + Action Steps

Personal rules / 10 things you'll do differently:

Define your metrics of success

Put your task lists evaluation and personal rules where you'll use them when you return to your daily business!

Schedule your next retreat

There's No Such Thing As Women's Intuition

Written by: Kate Neale Cooper

Im tired of receiving false praise for my women ’ s intuition It’s happened to me at least five times this year I hear it most often when people learn about my daughter’s medical struggles, which culminated in three brain surgeries in 10 months

For 16 years, I was in charge of her care: scheduling and attending appointments, reading books and medical journals, attending webinars, and connecting with advocates and healthcare providers across the country. (To be clear, my husband helped, too, but this essay is not about what he did or did not do; it’s about the work I did and how it was characterized.)

I was diligent. I was relentless. I was exhausted. The massive responsibility of managing my child’s healthcare limited my career and stunted my relationships. When we thought we’d reached the end of the road when, for the second time in eight years, doctors told us that the surgery we hoped for wasn’t possible I insisted on getting one more opinion. Based on everything I had learned, I was sure the team had missed something. And I was right. Seven months later, our daughter finally had the surgery that stopped her seizures.

When people hear this story, many of them say something like, “You just knew, didn’t you? It was your women ’ s intuition.” But I didn’t have a feeling. I had a hypothesis. An explanation based on the evidence I had gathered. That’s not intuition. It’s work. And the fact that people don’t recognize it as such is a problem.

People praise our women ’ s intuition almost exclusively in the domestic sphere. I’ve heard the phrase used to praise my hosting, decorating, and mothering skills. But no one ’ s ever credited my women ’ s intuition for helping me pitch a potential client, land a lucrative retainer, or produce great work product. Do you see the pattern?

Our intuition seems to be limited to activities traditionally categorized as “ women ’ s work ” It doesn’t apply to market work (aka work we do for pay)

This raises two questions for me:

1 Are women really more intuitive than men?

2 Why does it matter what people call it if they’re trying to say something nice?

Let’s take a look at the first question Are women really more intuitive than men? I could find surprisingly little research on this topic But what I did find suggests the answer is no

A 2001 study, "Gender Differences, Motivation and Empathic Accuracy: When it pays to understand,” found that men ’ s and women ’ s performance on empathic tasks was based on motivation not ability (According to Wikipedia, empathic accuracy is “ a measure of how accurately one person can infer the thoughts and feelings of another person the stuff we label “intuition ”)

Here’s how it played out: Women only performed better at empathic tasks when they were primed by completing a “sympathy survey ” before doing the tasks. Perhaps even more importantly, men and women performed equally well when they were paid based on their performance (i.e., when intuition became market work). The authors concluded, “It is not a difference in ability that leads women to be more empathic in some circumstances but a difference in motivation.”

Now, look. I get that this is just one study, but it does provide food for thought. Intuition, it suggests, isn’t a gift women are born with. It’s a skill we all possess, a skill that men use more effectively when they’re getting paid to use it.

So let’s turn our attention to the second question. Why does it matter what we call it? First and foremost, when we misclassify work as intuition, we rob women of the credit they deserve for doing this work. Figuring out how to stop your child’s seizures is no more intuitive than creating operational efficiencies on an assembly line or building a go-to-market strategy for a new product. It’s cognitive work that’s rooted in logic and expertise, not emotions and feelings. And when we dismiss real work as some sort of surreal sixth sense, we feel less compelled to reward it monetarily or otherwise.

Second, when we label this work as women ’ s intuition, we deny women the support they need to do this work. This is important. If women ’ s intuition is an innate skill that enables women to magically and instantly make things happen, they don’t need anyone ’ s help. If, on the other hand, there is no such thing as women ’ s intuition if this work is simply stuff that people who aren’t women don’t want or aren’t incentivized to do what does that mean?

It means we ’ re ready to discuss the third point: the concept of women ’ s intuition absolves men of responsibility for certain types of thinking and work even when they’re just as capable of doing it. We’re essentially saying, “You don’t have women ’ s intuition, so it’s no wonder you ’ re no good at/not interested in this work. And that’s OK.” But it’s not.

All too often, this kind of work is unpaid. It’s childfocused, it’s relationship-centered, it’s domestic. It isn’t the kind of work our capitalist society values because there is no demonstrable return on investment. And if we can’t quantify the value of something in dollars, we mistakenly believe it has no value at all.

Isaac Asimov wrote about women ’ s intuition in his short story “Feminine Intuition” for The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in 1969. (It starts off slow, but it gets better. I had to read it twice to really get it.)

I’m not a science fiction fan, but I love this story. Here’s the plot: Scientists are desperate to find another habitable planet. A planetologist and his robot solve the problem. But then they are destroyed by a meteorite before they can convey their discovery to headquarters. (You have to suspend your disbelief. It is science fiction.)

The team is stumped. They have all the clues, but they can’t put them together. So they call in the former program director, Susan Calvin (a woman!), to help. Calvin asks for an office and all the relevant files and solves the mystery in 45 minutes. When she declares that she has the answer, the men challenge her. “How can you be sure?” they ask. Calvin considers explaining how she spent those 45 minutes: reviewing records, interviewing witnesses, and doing calculations. As the reader, you know how she figured it out. But she’s fed up and refuses to explain herself to her male colleagues.

“You men, ” she says. “Faced with a woman reaching a correct conclusion and unable to accept the fact that she is your equal or superior in intelligence, you invent something called feminine intuition."

Calvin didn’t explain herself, but if we want to dispel the myth of women ’ s intuition we have to. So every time someone compliments my women ’ s intuition, I’ll repeat what I’ve said a few times now: “It wasn’t intuition. It was work.” To not do that is to devalue my own time and effort, to devalue myself.

It’s tempting to brush off the idea of women ’ s intuition as a harmless trope, but I encourage you to think about it harder. To read between the lines. To listen for people using the phrase. And then to remind them that it’s the stuff of science fiction.

Show up online with CONFIDENCE

So, you ' ve finally decided you ' re going to start taking your Instagram or TikTok account seriously and you ' re determined to build a strong online presence. You've made your first post introducing yourself and what you do in your industry and hit draft, fully planning to return to it later to finish the caption and press publish at the ideal time- which you ' ve likely googled because you ' re determined to do it right But you never do come back to it to press publish Because if you didn't try then you didn't actually fail, right?

Hi friends, Brand Gloss here, an up-and-coming Marketing Agency in Richmond; hopefully you ' ve heard of us (if we ' re doing our jobs right). We're here to tell you that you ' re not alone in feeling discouraged from showing up and taking space on social media. As females, we ' ve developed this idea that we should take up as little space as possible and be as invisible as possible, which if you ' re reading this magazine, you ' re likely working pretty hard to rid yourself of this mindset But as deep-rooted subconscious beliefs go, it likely runs much deeper than you imagined- like finding it pretty difficult to show up on social media.

And with many forward-thinking companies and employers investing heavily in social media marketing and an online presence, online platforms are more relevant for young professionals looking to level up their careers than ever before Social media has become a way to show that you’re passionate about what you do and that you ' re ahead of the trends in your industry- no, not the ones on TikTok, however if you are ahead of those too, kudos to you! So whether you ' re a career professional or entrepreneur, it's safe to say that pushing through that hurdle is pretty crucial.

But that’s easier said than done. Even after you ' ve finally conquered the fear of taking up space, you then have to deal with the possible repercussions of what happens online from taking up space like perfectionism- both in your mind and the minds of others Trust us, as a brand known for knowing social media, it's hard not overthinking certain pieces of content, because if it's not perfect, do we even know what we ' re talking about?

All this to say, social media can be anxiety-inducing and you shouldn't do it. Just kidding, it can be anxietyinducing but you are a strong, capable woman and you can accomplish anything you put your mind to We know this because all it takes is the desire to be that person and anyone reading this magazine has that desire So, how do you get through the anxiety and find yourself wanting to take up space?

First things first, you should set some goals for your new social media endeavors. What is the outcome you’re hoping to achieve with your profile? You can’t be #socialmediagoals without having actual goals, so write down what your aim is for social media before you start posting Trust us, having a clear, defined goal is going to keep you focused when motivation isn’t working

The next thing you need to tackle is likely the hardest, but the most crucial: overcoming perfectionism. We won't tell you that you just have to ignore it, because you ' ve likely been trying that and it hasn't been working. Here's the exact advice we tell our clients: Set realistic standards. If you are going to hold yourself to standards, know what they are- and make them realistic So that when you are unsure of a post, if it meets your expectations, you know that it’s just your anxiety and that you should in fact post it

This leads to our favorite tip: post and ghost If you know that you should post but you ' re freaking out about whether or not you'll get enough engagement, just post and don’t come back to the platform for hours, aka ghost. Granted, this isn’t the best in terms of strategy, but it’s better than not posting at all!

And when all else fails, hire someone else to do it for you! *cough* Hire us! *cough* Social Media can be a full-time job and if you are coming to the point in your career or business where it's crucial that you have a successful social media presence but you can’t seem to get it for whatever reason, consider bringing on a team of experts and take it off your plate completely

self

WhatToDo WhenTalk TherapyIsn'tWorking

Words: Christie Pearl, EMDR Therapist & Consultant

Doesthissoundfamiliar?You’vebeenthinkingaboutseeingatherapistforawhile becausetherearesomethingsthatfeellikethey’vegottenoutofcontrol.

Maybe your anxiety is running amok Maybe you and your partner aren’t seeing eye to eye on something Whatever it is, your stress response is out of whack So you hop online and start looking for a therapist to help Many of us who get this far in the process often just pick someone and go with it The next thing we know, we ’ ve been in therapy for a while, without seeing the progress we were hoping for

If you ’ re wanting more out of therapy, you ’ re not alone.

Traditionally, talk therapy is the first option we go with This “top down” approach helps us sort through our thoughts to understand things better The thinking here is that if we understand the situation better, change our thoughts about it, or learn some skills and strategies to deal with it, then we’ll feel better

While helpful, the solution may not be what we need It’s more like symptom relief temporarily relieving pain with new insight, skills and strategies For many, though, learning skills doesn’t produce long term change because it doesn’t address the underlying causes of the pain or stress Most clients who come to work with me have been in talk therapy for months if not years, and they’re not lacking in understanding about their issues What they’re lacking is change

What do you do if you ’ re not getting relief through talk therapy? You try a different approach.

Over the past few decades, the latest research in neuroscience, trauma and attachment has shown that talking about painful experiences in our lives is helpful and supportive, but sometimes it’s insufficient for resolving underlying issues and creating change Thanks to these advances, we now have therapeutic approaches that go beyond symptom relief and allow for resolving underlying issues

These “bottom up ” approaches rely more on emotional and physical, or somatic, parts of the brain than on logical and cognitive parts These somatic approaches to therapy are becoming more in demand as more people experience them and the powerful results that they offer One such approach, and my specialty, is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

So what is the difference between talk therapy and EMDR?

When we engage in talk therapy, we ’ re accessing the part of our memory that cognitively remembers events and experiences, using words and language to describe it with our “thinking brain ” What have emotional memory, physical memory, too though These live in other parts of our brain that are more subconscious and don’t respond to talk therapy since we ’ re not accessing those parts of our brains when we ’ re simply describing what bothers us EMDR helps us access those other aspects of our experience in our emotional and physical memory, which is where painful unresolved experience is stored

Our brain doesn’t process overwhelming experiences in the same way that it processes and integrates other experiences Most of our daily experience gets processed into long term memory or sorted through during sleep each night But some painful life experiences – such as growing up with a critical parent –are emotionally overwhelming and aren’t able to be processed through to completion Instead of being processed through, these unresolved experiences sit in a messy bundle along our neural pathways – a bundle of emotions, physical sensations, images, thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and others

Over time these unresolved experiences take on a life of their own and become survival strategies that we needed back then, but later become limiting in our adult lives For example, a child who adapts to a critical parent by trying to please them through excelling in school may grow up to be an adult who struggles with perfectionism and people-pleasing, even though childhood is over.

The assumption underlying EMDR is that your brain can digest in the here and now whatever it couldn’t back then, and you can bring these unresolved experiences to completion You can feel, think, believe and act out of a more present-day, adult perspective In other words, the adult who is repeating patterns of perfectionism and people-pleasing can come to see this experience through a present-day lens and learn that it’s OK to be imperfect and to disappoint others sometimes, instead of continuing to react out of the unmet needs and survival strategies that they developed in childhood

How do you know when it’s time to consider a bottom-up approach to therapy?

Clients often tell me that they know what they should be doing, but don’t do it Maybe it's more visibility in your industry, but you aren’t pitching yourself for any events You’re trying to finish your dissertation, but you freeze up every time you sit down to write Our conscious mind, in other words our thinking brains, have goals and make plans But our subconscious minds and unresolved beliefs – for example, I have to be perfect – are in conflict with those goals, so you find yourself unable to move forward In other words, we get in our own way

EMDR helps us access the subconscious emotions and beliefs that are interfering with and often sabotaging our ability to succeed When we access these parts of ourselves, we can bring them into conscious awareness and allow them to come to resolution In this way, our thoughts, feelings and actions can all come into alignment with our goals and plans

Are you ready to stop getting in your own way? You always have options Now may be the time to try something new

To discover more about Christie's work, visit christiepearl.com. Now booking online EMDR intensives for adult children of alcoholics in Virginia and Massachusetts.

MAKING A CASE FOR handwritten NOTES

Essay by: Amy Cross

I can clearly remember the chore lists from my youth. Put clothes away, wipe down the sink, clean the rabbit’s cage, write thank you notes I’d much rather play with my friends than do any of those things, but I knew in order to do so, I’d have to check the boxes. With dread and mild resentment, I dutifully carried out each chore, saving the thank you notes for last. What at first felt like work, slowly started to feel like fun A budding writer even then, I found I enjoyed the opportunity to tell the story of how a gift was being used or what time spent with me meant. I started to seek out the chance to show gratitude on

my own, and found it no longer ranked on my chore list (replaced, unfortunately, by scrubbing the toilets). Making sure the efforts of others were seen and appreciated unlocked something warm and fuzzy in me I liked the way writing these notes made me feel, too.

As I got older, the practice became more of a personal ritual, and grew beyond just thank yous selecting a card that felt true to the recipient, setting aside time to reflect on the right message, and capturing that emotion to send by snail mail to their home. Shopping for just the right card, comparing paper options and copy choices, finding a gem of a graphic It was all a magical hunt I wanted to be sure that genuine gratitude and love shone through not just in what I wrote, but in my choice of vessel, too.

These days some of the luxury has slipped away from my note writing practice. With a toddler in tow, the heavy-stock, letterpress beauties of yore are gone, replaced instead with a generic box of blank cards picked up on a Target run. I find I have to be more intentional about making time to write, but the emotion is all the same. In fact, it’s perhaps amplified now that it’s stripped down I know I’ll teach my son the importance of gratitude, and hope he’ll be as fond of notes and letters as I’ve grown to be. It’s a generational thread, this practice of writing down our appreciation It connects us to

a moment in time, a person who touched our lives that instance.

Just as clearly as I can recall that chore list, I remember going through my grandmother’s keepsakes when she passed Boxed up with other cherished items were so many of the thank you notes and justbecause cards I’d sent her. While I didn’t seed validation, it meant the world to know my words and appreciation meant so much to her I keep all of the cards I’ve received as well, the thank yous and the thinking of yous and everything in between. Flipping back through them like photographs, I’m transported to happy moments and hard times, knowing I had support through it all The words of friends and family, penned in their looping cursive or dashed off in hurried-looking script, are some of the greatest treasures of my life.

It connects us to a moment in time, a person who touched our lives that instance.

REBELLE BOOK LIST

Quietly Hostile - Samantha Irby

A much-anticipated, hilarious new essay collection from #1 New York Times bestselling unabashed fanfavorite Samantha Irby invites us to share in the gory particulars of her real life, all that festers behind the glitter and glam. We love a peek behind the curtain, especially when told through the comedic lens of a relatable women trying just about anything to make it through the day.

The House of Eve - Sadeqa Johnson

A daring and redemptive novel set in 1950s Philadelphia and Washington, DC, that explores what it means to be a woman and a mother, and how much one is willing to sacrifice to achieve her greatest goal. Eleanor and Ruby don’t know each other, but their journeys in education, love, and motherhood run parallel lines until colliding in the most unexpected of ways They will both make decisions that shape the trajectory of their lives.

Maame - Jessica George

Smart, funny, and deeply affecting, Jessica George's Maame deals with the themes of our time with humor and poignancy: from familial duty and racism, to female pleasure, the complexity of love, and the lifesaving power of friendship. Most important, it explores what it feels like to be torn between two homes and cultures and it celebrates finally being able to find where you belong

The Late Americans - Brandon

Yellowface - R.F.Kuang

What's the harm in a pseudonym? In this chilling and hilariously cutting novel from the #1 New York Times bestselling author R F Kuang With its totally immersive first-person voice, Yellowface takes on questions of diversity, racism, and cultural appropriation not only in the publishing industry but the persistent erasure of Asian-American voices and history by Western white society This novel is timely, razorsharp, and eminently readable

Taylor

In the shared and private spaces of Iowa City, a social circle of lovers and friends navigate tangled webs of connection as they try to figure out what they want, and who they are. Filled with scenes of aching intimacy, The Late Americans is Brandon Taylor's richest and most involving work of fiction to date, confirming his position as one of our most perceptive chroniclers of loneliness and desire in contemporary life.

Happy Place - Emily Henry

They broke up five months ago And still haven’t told their best friends. Which is how they find themselves sharing a bedroom at the Maine cottage that has been their friend group’s yearly getaway for the last decade Their annual respite from the world, where for one vibrant, blissful week they leave behind their daily lives; have copious amounts of cheese, wine, and seafood; and soak up the salty coastal air with the people who understand them most.

Step in to these worlds created by authors exploring identity, life, and love.