For the Love of My
D a r k n es s By Rachel Lynn Sebastian
F
inding myself annoyed and triggered in a room full
of wailing, pain-ridden bodies turned out to be the
ultimate gift in my 24-hour Bwiti ceremony.
Each carnal, medicine-induced scream within the
space would be a catalyst for a popcorn effect of energy release until each of us either expressed or suppressed our triggers.
“Why have they held onto their pain for so long?”
I judged as I affirmed to myself how far I’d come from
where they are. “They’re just identifying too much with it; I can help them with that.”
As the medicine began to release its grip and we tran-
sitioned into integration, the veil of denial began to fade within me. And, while each ceremony-participant was
invited to share, I felt myself slowly giving myself permission to resonate with their experience.
worst (and visible) sexual, mental and emotional trauma
on the planet that I had no RIGHT to experience my pain.
If anyone suffered more visibly than me - that my trauma was null and void.
I had also mistaken my remarkable ability to sup-
press trauma and be highly functional - for healing. I
had become the pharmaceutical version of energy work: Transmuting the symptoms, but not the cause.
And here I was in ceremony: allowing myself to fully
see my darkness. Resonate with it. Honor it. LOVE it.
And I had never felt so vulnerable and complete in my life.
The angelic realm and plant medicine itself teaches us that we are ALL things. Light AND dark. This is natural balance. And if we fight hard enough to become ALL light, we will inevitably create more darkness to sustain it. No more darkness. No more light. Rachel is clairaudient, clairsentient and clairalient. She serves as a
Holistic Life Coach, Trance Medium and Shaman.
This is me. That’s me too.
Our female shaman then came to call on me and she
In 2021 she opened her School of Holistic Mediumship where she
teaches the steps of stepping into mediumship as both
shared her insight:
an awakening tool and a lifestyle.
“Rachel. You are MAGIC. But the truth is you have served
everyone a dose of your magic - except for you. We often choose to serve in order to hide from our own pain.”
The tears streamed as I broke down (feeling my own
deep heartbreak in the depth of her statement).
Book your session with Rachel now at RachelLynnSebastian.com.
The truth is I was TIRED of
my pain asking for validation. I was tired of “dealing” with it
and tired of giving it airtime. I felt open to healing ancestral traumas but certainly not to
owning that it was my pain too. I could hold an INCREDI-
BLE space of non-judgement for my clients, family, and
friends. But, not for myself. Not for the most important person in my life.
I had instead invalidated
the source of my own pain, told myself unconsciously
that if I didn’t have literally the
“
Rachel was quickly able to uncover the limiting belief systems that kept me stuck in unfulfilling relationships and heal them at the root cause. Rachel, you set me free and I have never been happier.
—Dr. Mary Anne Esmieu, Long Beach, CA.
SCAN ME!
Photo by: Enrico19 Pozzo RADIANCE MAGAZINE