VOICES FROM THE OUT & PROUD
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OCTOBER 2013
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OCTOBER ‘13
6 SARA SHARES The Gayest Month 8 GLAMAZONIA Out of this World
CONTENTS
12 RED PARTY Scene: ARCOhio 16 DEVELOPMENT Designed in Columbus 18 SEXPERT Until There Is a Cure 20 OCTOBER BARTENDER Josh Herndon, Level Dining Lounge 22 COMING OUT STORIES Out & Proud Voices 28 CULTURE Halloween Costumes 30 COUPLE Lindsay House & Crystal Ray 32 THE TASTE BUDS Milestone 229 40 TRANSlation Advice from Jackie
For more information go to: www.QuorumColumbus.com About our October artist: “Experienced in photography and fine arts, I strive to make every piece come to life. Taking inspiration from the works of MC Escher and other notable artists, I seek to bring to life the openness and structure of chaos and disorganization. Using primarily recycled medium in my work, I enjoy creating a new story for each object, each piece. In my photography, I often combine my subjects with unexpected objects to provide a new and different vision of the characters in my work. I studied photography and fine art at Columbus College of Art and Design. My work has been displayed in many galleries and shows, including C Note Art Show, Stained Skin and Mad Lab. I currently reside in Columbus, Ohio, and freelance at Studio Stephan.”
www.studiostephan.shutterfly.com
45 ADJOURN LGBTQ History
Have an image to share that screams “Columbus”? Submit to be next month’s Featured Photographer: Feature@QuorumColumbus.com
quorum crew Isaac Bendele President Publisher
Mickey J. Hart Editor
Bowen Marshall Feature Writer
Evan T. Robinson Columnist
Sara Ernest Columnist
Patrick Butler Graphic Designer Illustrator
Briden Schueren Graphic Designer Lead Photographer
JM Rayburn Graphic Designer Social Media Manager
Jerry Turnes Web & Digital Media Developer
Amy Tannenbaum Photographer Columnist
Craig Chadwell The Taste Buds Columnist
Mike Moffo The Taste Buds Columnist
Shaun Whybark Columnist
Que Jones Columnist
Kris Littler Contributor
Erik Hays CFO
Josh McConaughy Scene Contributor
Also on the crew: Andrew Johnson, Assisstant Editor Jackie Vanderworth, Columnist Clare Hughes, Graphic Designer Heather Doughty, Grapher Designer Ray LaVoie, Photography
Michael Greenhouse Columnist
This month’s Contributors: John Henry, Contributor Jon Theiss, Contributor Phyllis Gorman, Adjourn
Hellin Bedd/Brett Richards, Cover Model
Michael Lovett Scene Contributor
CONVENE HISTORY IN THE MAKING... | MICKEY J. HART You know that the arc of history is bending toward justice when Quorum Columbus’ September GSA story written by Lotte Brewer, a junior at The Wellington School, receives such positive reactions and some of our highest internet traffic to date. Lotte left a fine impression on many, and I thank her for her brave insights. I wish to add an overdue thank you to Wellington Upper School English teacher and GSA co-advisor Catherine Dison for her efforts in making the article possible. September also brought the historical announcement by Equality Ohio Education Fund, Freedom to Marry, HRC Foundation and ACLU Foundation of Ohio about the formation of Why Marriage Matters, a new collective effort to bring marriage equality to Ohio. Learn more at: www.whymarriagemattersoh.org These are just two of the many stepping stones on the often frustrating, sometimes horrific, occasionally humorous, yet steadily liberating path of the history of LGBTQ people. October is LGBTQ History Month and our time to educate ourselves and others. There is much history to reclaim, explore, and celebrate this month. Plus, I find it particularly fitting that the month concludes with Halloween – what many have come to call the LGBTQ Community’s holiday. Is it any wonder that autumn is my favorite season? This month, Quorum Columbus kicks off with Sarah Ernest sharing her perspective on the significance of this month, we learn the views of two straight allies via Mike Lovett, we get fashionable about design with JM Rayburn, we share the coming out stories of several community members – including our bewitching cover diva Hellin Bedd, we get dressed up for Halloween with Que Jones, and we conclude with longtime LGBTQ activist Phyllis Gorman with one reflection of our often complex history. Happy LGBTQ History Month and Happy Halloween! Mickey J. Hart
Editor
mickey@quorumcolumbus.com
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Perspective
SARA SHARES | SARA ERNEST IS IT JUST ME or does it seem like quite the coincidence that National Coming Out Day and Gay Christmas (aka Halloween) are in the same month? Think about it: the day you come out of the closet is like a rebirth of you as the person you are supposed to be, and Gay Christmas is the day you can show the world an often unseen side of yourself. Enough of us have stories about how our coming out was a traumatic or at least a less than pleasurable experience that make us want to take full advantage of a day that lets us present our inner superhero, pirate lord or fairy princess. So much so that we actually have a day for celebrating those of us who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and a month to celebrate our history. October 11, 2013, will mark 25 years that we have been celebrating National Coming Out Day (NCOD). NCOD is an international civil awareness day that was started in 1988 by Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary to commemorate the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Just two years after the first NCOD, when only 18 states in the United States participated, there was a large media push and all 50 states and seven other countries were observing the day. Six years later, LGBT History Month was founded by a Missouri high-school history teacher named Rodney Wilson. Wilson chose October for the observation of LGBT history month to coincide with the previously established NCOD. Before anyone nods off on this snooze fest of a history lesson, let’s get back to what I do best: give my opinion. First of all, I’d like to say thank you to the people who were involved in the planning of the inaugural NCOD and to Rodney Wilson and all of his supporters.
With the uptick in violence against the LGBTQ community internationally, the anger surrounding marriage equality and every other issue tied to anything other than the heteronormative world, it’s easy to see how important these events still are to our community. Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s, it was even more difficult for members of the LGBTQ community to be open about their truths. Garnering attention by standing up for themselves and all their queer brothers and sisters to start these now international events was out of the question for most people.
IT IS OUR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY... TO EASE THE PASSAGE OF THOSE WHO COME AFTER US. NCOD is our chance to pay it forward. We need to be the Robert Eichbergs and Jean O’Learys who stand up for our closeted cousins, neighbors and co-workers and hold open the door, offering a hand to hold on the way out. It is our social responsibility, having gone through the process ourselves, to help ease the passage of those who come after us. With LGBT History month, we have an opportunity to educate those who we may not see eye to eye with. It is our chance to open the eyes of people like Senator Rob Portman, an Ohio Republican and former Ohio Attorney General Jim Petro, also a Republican, who just needed to know an LGBTQ person to shift their views on equality. This month gives us plenty of opportunity to be who we truly are and celebrate everyone else in our world who may not always have that chance. Encourage closeted friends and loved ones to come out on NCOD, and encourage everyone’s inner rock star to come celebrate Gay Christmas by dressing up as his or her “could be” self.
NEW MENU. NEW HAPPY HOUR. BEST LOYALTY PROGRAM IN COLUMBUS
Out of this World | Jon Theiss Three feet of feathered headdress on an opera-singing queen, six arms on an intergalactic goddess and eight inches of flaccid phallus on a Napoleonic general: Those were just a few of the elements onstage during Glamazonia: The Theatrical Experience, presented Sept. 20-22 at Wall Street Nightclub. The nearly two-hour spectacle was a near-perfect feat for Helena Troy, Glamazonia’s executive producer and leader of the fashion haus/drag family. The storyline was simple: A young space traveler (Nikki Stone), crash lands on a strange planet with a robot who’s “Programmed for navigation and sex. And I’m done navigatin’” (Diamond Hunter). The pair sets out to explore the planet, encountering twerking robot henchmen, electric hustlin’ aliens, a Cowardly-Lion-Thundercat-Wookie Beast (Ashley O’Shea), and a cast of other princesses, pageant queens and no-gooders. Glamazonia was more two-act play than traditional drag show, with professional-grade video interstitials, special effects, head-to-toe makeup, choreography and structured narrative. And, at its best, it struck a tone that balanced tongue-in-cheek campiness with smoldering, over-sexed, ’70s-style retro raunchiness. There were slow-burn, quiet-storm numbers, fast-paced hip-hop moments, old-school soul and disco mash-ups (James Brown’s “Sex Machine”!), and new-school remixes of Bjork and Katy Perry. Troy showed what real gravitas looks like as the evil queen, while O’Shea proved that she’s a comedy queen who also can dance with the best of ’em. Mary Nolan provided a stalwart villain as the General, while Sabrina Heart provided the most kinetic moment of the show, dancing in a head-to-toe lavender cat-suit while her beehive defied gravity. Nikole Trader, in one of the best reveals in recent drag memory, arrived onstage with gold lamé wings and four extra arms. (From the looks of the costume design as a whole, the Glamazons can now add theatrical costume witchcraft, wizardry and metallurgy to their resumés). Ultimately, Glamazonia showed the Glamazons at their height of their creativity and technical skill, a jewel in the troupe’s crown and an example of what a few boys in dresses and wigs can accomplish when they push actors, dancers, queens and audiences out of their comfort zones. What they accomplished on that stage at Wall Street was exceptional—at moments sensational—and a benchmark for the Glamazons who have officially arrived.
Glamazonia was more two-act play than traditional drag show...
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| MICHAEL LOVETT During my “straight” boy days at Ohio University, I had many straight friends. My senior year that changed when, with some liquid courage I danced up and asked Erik out. I wanted to introduce him to a few friends, which terrifyingly meant I had to out myself. Long story short: I was blessed and completely stunned that the most of my straight friends had no problem with the news. I now feel equally accepted in the straight and LGBTQ communities, but to help squash some of the indignation that some feel toward the straight populous, I asked two straight allies to share a few thoughts. Dan Edghill: Dan is known in the community as the “gay trainer” at Edge Fitness Academy since the majority of his clients are gay. He and his girlfriend frequent Union and Axis almost weekly. Chet Ridenour: AKA Mr. Social Columbus. Chet volunteers with Equality Ohio, started an allies group at Stonewall Columbus, and sings with the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus. He is also a part of the Short North Civic Association. Lovett: Why do you think you’re more comfortable with the LGBTQ community verses some of your straight counterparts? Edghill: One of my best friends is gay and has introduced me to some cool places. Initially, I didn’t know what to expect when he asked me to hang out at a gay bar. I think people are quick to judge those who are different from them especially if they are the majority. If they are willing to be introduced to someone in the gay community then I think their mindset changes. Ridenour: For most people it’s the unknown factors that lead to feeling uncomfortable. Being comfortable as a straight guy that’s involved in my local LGBT Community comes down to having put the time and energy in to learning about and understanding the story… But more than just the knowledge I’ve gained, it’s been the handson experiences that made the biggest impact. Equality is something I’m passionate about, and I’ve been very involved in changing the hearts and minds of those in my network on the matter. I’m taking an active role in what I see as my generation’s civil rights movement, and so when
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I’m at a traditionally gay event, bar or with an all LGBT crowd, I have the confidence knowing that though our orientations may be different, we’re still on the same team. Lovett: Have you ever felt uncomfortable when you were in LGBTQ surroundings? Edghill: I have never felt uncomfortable. However, the most uncomfortable thing I can remember is when I danced on the stage at Union and the drag queen asked me to take my shirt off. I looked around and all I could see were iPhones and flashes. Two weeks later a guy stopped me at Union and pulled up a pic that he took of me on stage; I had him text it to me. But in all honesty, I would have felt the same at a straight bar, my dance moves are not stage worthy!
I’m taking an active role in what I see as my generation’s civil rights movement. Lovett: What has been the most memorable experience you’ve had with the LGBTQ community? Ridenour: There was a weekend retreat with the chorus just after I had joined. At the end of the retreat there was an open forum for guys to share how they came to the chorus, and what it meant to them. I was unsure if sharing my orientation should be a part of it. I asked the guy next to me…and he thought it was important…I’d never been so scared to be open and honest about who I was, something I couldn’t change, to a group of people before. Somehow I got up there… I would come to realize later, that I “came out as a straight guy in a gay chorus.” And while I don’t pretend to equate my situation to an LGBT person sharing their orientation … I do know that it’s likely the closest experience I could have. It’s something I value greatly as a glimpse behind that curtain, and reinforces and motivates me to advocate to push the equality movement forward. I want to thank the many allies for their support and friendship. We are lucky to share Columbus’ diverse spaces with those are LGBTQ and straight.
Image | www.pluggedinband.org
OUR Scene: Ally Support
RED
| BOWEN MARSHALL HAVE YOU EVER HAD a misunderstanding with your partner? Have you had that moment where you could just throttle him/ her/hir? If you have, you’re not alone. And if you haven’t, should write to us at: feature@quorumcolumbus.com and tell us your relationship life hacks! I am at the point in my current relationship where my boyfriend’s and my public relations representatives have gone on break, perhaps even strike. While we are still learning new things about each other, our relationship is flavored with the tangy zest of how we act in stressful, non-ideal situations. It’s not that I didn’t realize this was coming. I tried to prep him for it by sending what I think of as popculture “how to” books on my personality to give him a heads up. These are things like a Buzzfeed list telling him how I communicate with helpful tips like my tendency to be very direct. For instance, my desire for prompt text replies comes out as, “Text me back, or die.” Which I admit may be a bit excessive. He in-turn asked me to take a personality assessment to better understand other. He says I am a blue personality with hints of red, which means I am perfectionistic and moody (This may be true, although I hate it when personality tests tell me such things of which I am already aware.) He is a moody blue too so when our two moods crash things get stormy. Another point of tension between us is that I tend to persist on things until I feel they have been talked out. In contrast, he lives by the rule of the “Hair Flip” for most problems, which essentially means figure out the solution and move on from the moment as quickly as possible. Case in point: after two weeks of me being away for work and him remodeling his new home, he went on vacation. The lack of time together had us annoyed with one another. On the phone, we realized that it was the lack of time together that had both of us out of sorts and we agreed that we should address the issue. For me, addressing it meant “let’s talk about this on the phone right now and be together in this way.” For him, addressing it meant, “let’s wait until I get back.” I agreed to wait, but in truth I was still annoyed, missing him, and ticked.
I felt like I was letting him have our relationship on his terms. I had weeks of things I wanted to talk about and think through with him, and I had to sit on those things until he got back and was ready to talk. In my mind, I had to let him win this one; and I hate losing.
I am good enough to get things wrong with him and so is he. I mentioned this frustration to my roommate and started to rant when he stopped me and asked me to explain what I meant by, “win this one.” After hearing my explanation, he paused and then reminded me that being in a relationship with someone isn’t about winning. He went on to say, “Something I’ve discovered about romantic relationships that you have to believe for them to work is that you’re on the same team… You’re not two teams who called a truce. You’re not two boxers in a ring duking it out. You’re on the same team. Sometimes you have to accommodate the other person, but remember it’s not about your needs versus his. Winning in a relationship means working on your relationship until you both are as comfortable as you can be with addressing one another’s needs.” Do you know that feeling when all the air goes out of you and you instantly deflate from your self-righteous soapbox of martyrdom? Well I do and in that moment my ego popped; and when he got home, we were able to resolve our problems. As I continue to bonk my head and my heart in this relationship, the thing I have to keep reminding myself is that I am good enough to get things wrong with him. Maybe that’s why I never felt I could fall in love before; I didn’t know I was good enough in the eyes of the other person to make mistakes. But with him I am. In the middle of the misunderstandings, annoyances and fights, I hope you consider what I am just now learning: if you’re in love with someone that ultimately uplifts you, there is room to fall short and even fail. Winning is not about beating the other person; it’s about how you play together. Remember that in a relationship you’re on the same team.
DEVELOPMENT
Designed in
Columbus | JM RAYBURN From the established metropolis of London to upand-coming American cities such as Columbus, so-called “Design Weeks” are starting to take place nearly every month around the world. Generally speaking, these citywide events are held to help bolster local economies and tourism by engaging the public on the topic of design. October will prove to be an exciting month for Columbus. The Center for Architecture and Design will host Columbus Design Week[s], which is a month of events connecting the public to Columbus’ design ecosystem, promoting local design, and raising the expectation of good design within our own community. The goal is to blur the boundaries between disciplines through the cross-pollination of ideas and talents, to raise awareness of the power of design, and to leverage our creative economy. The fact is there has been an explosion in the world’s interest in design. From urban design to product and fashion design, cities are using design as a means to promote themselves. Design Week[s] signifies that our city is becoming a magnet for creative talent. It makes us more attractive for both tourism and economic investments. For example, the success of the Milan Design Week demonstrates the kind of momentum that can result. Milan’s citywide event occurs each spring and brings upwards of 282,000 total visitors with 177,964 of them non-Italians. Compare those numbers with that of the first Milan Design Week in which only 800 non-Italians attended the event, out of the 11,860 total visitors. These numbers illustrate how Milan Design Week has become an international tourist destination and has been a boom to hotels, restaurants, and other businesses during its duration. The beauty of design weeks is that they draw worldwide attention and encourage visitor spending in its host city—two areas where Columbus could use some improvement. Beyond the tourism effect, design weeks can clarify the role of designers and encourage young people to join creative industries. Design weeks also tend to bring together otherwise unrelated demographics to exchange ideas, cross-pollinate concepts, and find future employees
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and partners. In that way, they could have a lasting impact beyond encouraging tourism and sales of beautiful fashion lines and other works on view. But not all cities have the rich design histories of London, Milan, or New York, and they may not be known as design destinations. Design is still a budding industry in Columbus, for instance. The key to success, however, lies with the organizers, sponsors, and participants to execute Columbus Design Week[s] in a manner that showcases and promotes the unique creative character of the Capital City, rather than try to mimic other cities’ strategies with the hope that the same types and numbers of visitors will attend. What makes Columbus Design Week[s] unique is that it rolls CMH Fashion Week into its list of events. That is important because fashion has become increasingly intertwined with city status, domestically and globally, according to recent studies. It only seems fitting that CMH Fashion Week is included in Columbus Design Week[s] because it accentuates the importance of design in the fashion industry. An article earlier this year in Atlantic Cities ranks Columbus as the third leading fashion city in the United States in terms of the concentration and median earnings for fashion designers. Columbus’ high ranking in part reflects its position as the headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, Express and the L Brands (formerly the Limited Brands), which is the parent company of Bath & Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, and Henri Bendel. Not all designers are born and bred in New York, Paris, Milan, or London; fashion and fashion designers both cluster around not only leading design centers with the best talent, design schools, and fashion magazines, but also increasingly in the world’s largest and most affluent cities, which have the biggest markets for their products.
Rank Metro
1 2 3 4 5
New York-Northern New Jersey-Long Island, NY-NJ-PA Los Angeles-Long BeachSanta Ana, CA Columbus, OH Nashville-DavidsonMurfreesboro-Franklin, TN San Francisco-OaklandFremont, CA
No. of Total Median Hourly Fashion Designers Earnings
Location Quotient*
6,825
$34.40
4.84
3,641
$33.75
3.82
518
$26.69
3.37
282
$30.59
2.13
540
$35.13
1.55
* Location Quotient is a way of quantifying how “concentrated� an industry is in a region compared to the rest of the nation. It can reveal what makes a particular region unique in comparison to the national average.
the coastal cities may reign as king of fashion and design, but the crown is slipping. Simply put, each design week is different, just as every city is different. To place everything in perspective, the only other major urban centers in the region with a design week are Cincinnati, Detroit, Chicago, and Columbus. There is only one Midwest City of at least 800,000 people that holds a month-long design event that exclusively includes a fashion week. That city is Columbus. The coastal cities may reign as king of fashion and design, but the crown is slipping. I recommend you attend as many Columbus Design Week[s] events as you can. And when you do, you better look sickening, share photos online and make everyone outside of Columbus eat it.
SEXPERT | JOHN HENRY THIS MONTH, we celebrate everyone and everything that made us strong and PROUD. We have had many hardships along the way, but we have so much to be thankful for today. We are winning the fight for equality, and we will continue winning because equal rights are human rights. However, as we look back on everything that’s great about the LGBT movement, it’s important to remember all we’ve been through and the work that still needs to be done. It seems to me, we have lost focus on all that encompasses an LGBT identity. We fixate on the issues of marriage equality and which new celebrity has come out because they have wide appeal. People love to see the face of a happy new bride or that sexy Wentworth Miller. Those are amazing things that we should celebrate and recognize because they help to bring visibility, compassion and understanding to our community. They validate the movement and allow the public to relate to LGBT people. However, in this shift to heartwarming causes and beautiful successes, we have overlooked many things that we never finished. Most important of those lost causes is HIV/AIDS awareness, education and activism. Since the beginning of the LGBT movement, nothing has hurt our community and stolen more from us than HIV/ AIDS. The first cases of AIDS in the United States were found in five gay men in San Francisco and New York City in the early 1980s, and the epidemic has disproportionately affected the community ever since. According to the Centers for Disease Control: Gay and bisexual men remain among the most affected by HIV. While these men represent approximately two percent of the overall U.S. population, they accounted for sixty-one percent of all new HIV infections in 2009. It is estimated that 300,000 gay men in the United States have suffered an AIDS-related death since 1981. That’s nearly half of Columbus’ current population. An entire generation of gay and bisexual men has been lost to HIV/AIDS and we cannot allow another to meet the same fate. We must redirect our attention to the issue that continues to ravage our community. Despite great advances in medication, treatment and care, new infection rates continue climbing. We have become complacent with HIV because it is no longer considered
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the death sentence it once was. There are now medications that work and access to necessary care. While it is true that HIV is no longer a terminal illness, there is no cure and treatment is not easy for many. While some are able to treat their HIV with one pill a day, most cannot. The medications often have serious side effects that affect every patient differently and being HIV positive completely changes an individual’s life. Most importantly, people still die from AIDS-related complications. Until there is a cure, we must continue to fight. We used to fight. We used to stand up for each other and for what was right no matter the cost. Somewhere along the way we stopped fighting for what wasn’t always pretty about our community. We prefer to celebrate our similarities instead of our differences. HIV is something that makes us different. It’s not a gay disease, but we continue to bear the brunt of its burden. This is the result of many cultural factors that are somewhat outside of our control. Young LGBT people, like most of our youth, do not receive comprehensive sex education. Human anatomy makes some of the ways gay and bisexual men have sex more risky. Culture has constructed and proliferated an identity of gay men that is heavily reliant on our sexuality and our perceived promiscuity. So what can we do?
UNTIL THERE IS A CURE, WE MUST CONTINUE TO FIGHT.
I’m calling on all community members to act up again. We need a second wave of AIDS activism in this country and throughout the world. It may cause tension with our allies and enemies alike, but it’s that tension that causes movement, change and evolution. This movement is different than others because it starts with you. As someone once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Regardless of its origin, that quote is extremely fitting. HIV stops with each of us. Negative, positive or unsure, it is our actions that contribute to the problem. Strive to be safer and smarter, and encourage all those around you to do the same. As we celebrate LGBT History Month, let’s work to make HIV/AIDS part of that history. Free confidential HIV and STI testing is available at ARC Ohio’s locations. Anonymous HIV testing is available. For more information call 614-299-2437 or visit
www.arcohio.org
Don’t Miss These October Stonewall Events! Saturday, October 5th 6:00-8:00 pm
Get your discount Flu Shots at the Center during Gallery Hop
Thursday, Oct. 17th 6:30-7:30pm Goodale Park Gazebo 120 W Goodale St. Wear Purple Thursday to show your spirit and support Find out how to get a Spirit Day Awareness Ribbon at stonewallcolumbus.org/spiritday
25.99 each*
October is National Anti-Bullying Month.
$
provided by
Join our Spirit Day Vigil at the Goodale Park Gazebo in honor of LGBT youths who have taken their lives or have been severely impacted by bullying. Wear purple to show your support. Talk to your friends, family, and co-workers. Spread the message that together we can overcome bullying. Remind LGBT teens that it DOES get better.
Speakers Pamela Antos Brooke Cartus Liam Gallagher
Andrew Levitt Karla Rothan Dwayne Steward
* Cash and Insurance Only Accepted. Discounted price valid for this event only.
1160 North High Street | Columbus, Ohio 43201 | 614-299-7764 | stonewallcolumbus.org
TWO UPCOMING SEMINARS! Sponsored by
New Updated Information for 2013! LGBT Parenting and the Law: Rights, Protection and Documentation Thursday, October 3rd | 6:30-8:30pm Find out what is new after the recent DOMA Supreme Court rulings Speakers: Carol Ann Fey, LeeAnn Massucci • • • • •
Legally protected shared custody agreements Adoption by a member of a same-sex couple Donor agreements General family law as it concerns LGBT families Legal and binding personal/family documentation
Immigration Seminar Immigration Law After Windsor Thursday, October 24th | 6:30-8:30pm How the recent Supreme Court DOMA decision affects same-sex couple immigration issues. Speakers: Christopher J. Kempf, L. Robert Thaxton
LGBT Hiking Club October Hike Dogs Welcome! Saturday, October 19th Hike Starts at 10am A.W. Marion State Park Cookout after Hike Hot dogs & veggie burgers provided Bring a side item or dessert to share. Join our Facebook Group for Details facebook.com/groups/glbthiking or email lgum@stonewallcolumbus.org
WHILE YOU’RE CELEBRATING this month, with your pride or your costume, stop by Level Dining Lounge and see Josh Herndon. A bartender for nearly 10 years, he says that one of the things he loves most about his job is that there’s rarely a dull moment. “You never know who’s going to stumble in to keep you entertained.” In the spirit of the season, Josh shared with us a fun fact about Level: “It is said that Level is haunted by the ghost of Melvina Sharples. How appropriate that it sounds like the name of a drag queen.” If ghostly hauntings don’t bring you into the Short North bar to see him, be on the lookout for a familiar hobbit this Halloween. “I’m going as Bilbo Baggins. Still trying to figure out what to do about my feet...”
WHO:
Josh Herndon
WHERE:
Level Dining Lounge 700 N High St, Columbus, OH 43214 614.754.7111
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COCKTAIL:
A simple guy: just a glass of Irish whiskey, neat.
FUN FACT:
Josh is a kid at heart. He love cartoons, video games, fantasy novels, and Legos... especially Legos!
Voices from the Out & Proud: Coming Out And the young gay people … The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope … the us'es [sic] will give up. –Harvey Milk
| Bowen Marshall On this month of October as we celebrate National Coming Out Day on the 11th, we invited some friends of the Columbus LGBTQ Community and Quorum Columbus to share their stories and thoughts on coming out. Coming out is a choice that no one but you should make and in no way do we want the words that we share here to be seen as a critique or criticism of what you need to do in the context of your life. But if you see these words through the shaft of light coming through your closet door, we hope that these words give you comfort, courage, and fill you with the hope and love that you deserve to have, every day of your life.
Scot Hafler, Owner of Wall Street Night Club and out since 1987. I first came out to a good friend in high school, then my mother shortly after. Coming out reiterates a certain comfort level with your sexual identity. It helps you realize your value amongst all other orientations. Once you have this self-realization, it makes it easier to responsibly include it into your daily life. Coming out also shows you whom your real friends are. There’s nothing better than surrounding yourself with those who appreciate you for YOU. Always be conscious of your approach. It may take time for some to adjust and accept. If it’s not the right time for you to come out, question why. You may find the answer is within you and not dictated by outside forces. It may help you to remember these two points (as it did me): You choose your course in life and who stands in your way, and although courage is not always easy, it can result in amazing accomplishments. And, YOU are worthy of many amazing accomplishments!
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Each of the writers who contributed to this piece share their different thoughts and perspectives on what coming out means, how you may navigate your journey, and what it means to step through the closet door. We share their words of caring with minimal editing as we want their messages and stories to honor their voices and their messages.
Brett Richards, Hellin Bedd , Miss Ohio Gay Pride 2013 and Miss Ohio America 2008. For me, there was no official coming out party. Everyone just kinda figured it out over time and exposure to my obvious fabulousness. See, I’m just a boy from the country who had no idea there were so many people out there like me. I didn’t know until I started coming out to the bars in Columbus when I was in high school. I went dancing and clubbing at bars like the Garage, the Eagle and Wall Street, and this is where I discovered a diversity of likes and interests all banded together under the gay umbrella. I met people from the leather community, drag queens, and strippers. I started to find a support system. I felt like I fit, like I belonged.
no two journeys are exactly the same; however, the first step always seems to be accepting yourselF for who you are.
As a young man in the community, I was fortunate to have a partner, Steven, who opened me up to the concept of paying it back to those who blazed the trails for us, and paying it forward to those who would follow in our footsteps. Adventures like traveling to Washington, DC and attending the HRC Gala at the Rainbow Room in NYC instilled in me the importance of being involved, the responsibility of being a member of this community. Now don’t get me wrong, I still partied my butt off, but I realized we are all part of something larger. I started to see the bigger picture. As my exposure has grown within the community, I think back to that time of uncertainty peppered with thrilling discoveries, when I meet people who are new to our community or who are just starting to embark on their personal journey. No two journeys are exactly the same; however, the first step always seems to be accepting yourself for who you are. If coming out and embracing the gay community helps in that endeavor, we as members of the community should be there to welcome you.
Terry Penrod, Realtor and Founding Partner HER Realtors, Eagle Scout, HRC’s National Board of Directors Member 2005-2011, 2012 recipient of the Columbus Equality Award, and founding member of the Political Action Committee (PAC) of Equality Ohio. Everyone who comes out helps our fight for equality. It’s more difficult to hate someone who is LGBT if they know, love and respect someone who is LGBT. Coming out also makes it easier for the next person to come out and be proud of who he or she is. We are fighting hard for our rights and it’s easier to work together. Coming out is a very personal decision. To begin the process, you must first come out to yourself. Everyone is different. You may come out to yourself when you are 15 years old , 25, 35, or even 45 or later. You decide and you control your destiny.
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After coming out to yourself, you can begin the process to come out to others...your family, your friends, your classmates, your co-workers, your community. Hopefully, it will feel like a burden has been lifted off you. It leads to dignity and freedom. Freedom from the stress of hiding a part of you from others. I would be remiss if I did not mention the growing number of straight allies who are coming out for equality. They also play a huge role in our fight for freedom. We cannot do it ourselves. The first page of HRC’s “A Resource Guide to Coming Out” says it all: “Being brave doesn’t mean that you’re not scared. It means that if you are scared, you do the thing you’re afraid of anyway. Coming out and living openly as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or supportive straight person is an act of bravery and authenticity. Whether it’s for the first time ever, or for the first time today, coming out may be the most important thing you will do all day. Talk about it.”
I would be remiss if i did not mention the growing number of straight allies who are coming out for equality. they play a huge role in our fight for freedom. we cannot do it ourselves.
More information about National Coming Out Day is available at: www.hrc.org/ncod
Dwayne Steward is an award-winning journalist, speaker and activist. He's the LGBTQ Health Advocate at Columbus Public Health, Founder & Director of The Make It Better Foundation (a bullying prevention organization) and co-host of the LGBTQ news radio show Queer Minded" on : talktainmentradio.com or dwaynesteward.com I’ve always believed that LGBTQ individuals living their lives openly and honestly as productive members of society is the best way to advance the Gay Rights Movement. Until we are seen simply as teachers, doctors, parents, sons, daughters, etc., as a “normal” everyday part of the human experience, that is when the stigma and hatred against of our community will become the anomaly.
COMING OUT DEFINITELY CHANGES MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER 24
And this goes for allies too. No civil rights battle has ever been won without allies. Openly coming out as an LGBT ally to your loved ones and the communities in which you inhabit can in many cases be just as impactful. But I also acknowledge that “coming out” still isn’t easy, especially for our transgender, gender-queer and gender non-conforming brothers and sisters. Everyone must be allowed to fully realize their own coming out journey in their own time. That being said, coming out definitely changed my life for the better. I would be void of so many amazing experiences if I had stayed in the closet. It was difficult coming out to my very religious Pentecostal family, but I blossomed through the hardships and it made me the
person I am today. It opened up my personality and finally gave me license to be exactly who and what I wanted to be. I came out nearly a decade ago and I count it among one of the best decisions I ever made. My motto for several years has been “always live courageously.” Because it is very courageous to be openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer wherever you are in this world. And we are forced to come out every day to new acquaintances, at new jobs, to our doctors, and each time you do come out, you’re not creating a better more dignified world for yourself but also for the next LGBTQ person who comes out after you.
Coming Out
Angie Wellman, MSE, PCC, Intercultural Specialist LGBTQ initiatives at the Ohio State University, Student Life Multicultural Center. A few weeks ago, my brother was in town, visiting from Georgia. I had the opportunity to have lunch with him and his wife. Referring to the Miss America controversy, he said, “That’s so gay.” Like most people who say it, he didn’t mean it in the literal sense of “same gender loving.” He didn’t mean it as a slur on people with a non-heterosexual orientation. He meant it as stupid or dumb or frustrating. Reading the look on my face, his wife commented, “Maybe it’s not so okay to say that, huh?” There was uncomfortable silence, an apology, and we moved on. October 11 is National Coming Out Day, and people sometimes ask me why there needs to be such a day. There are gay, lesbian, and bisexual characters in books movies and on TV. A transgender person was on Dancing with the Stars. Everybody seems to have gay friends. Being “out,” it seems, has never been easier. Having conversations with real people, I find that coming to a place of positive self-regard for many LGBTQ people is still a very difficult journey. I don’t care how many episodes of Glee your family has seen, choosing to share this part of yourself with them is still very intimidating. The pressure to conform to gender norms is still immense. It’s still very hard to worry about friends rejecting you - even the ones who say “gay” all the time and mean no harm. Not long ago, I met a student who struggles to deal with her sexual orientation because she worries about being rejected by her fundamentalist family and home community. She has spent inordinate amounts of time on the internet, reading and searching for something that will give her hope that she won’t be rejected by everyone she knows. Being a part of an LGBTQ group in the Multicultural Center was the first time she has been in a room with others like her. National Coming Out Day matters to her, because she’ll probably still be deeply closeted when it’s over.
National coming out day matters to me. And National Coming Out Day matters to me. I don’t expect everyone who has yet to publicly self-identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender to visit Kroger waving a rainbow flag. (Though, it could be fun!) For me, it’s not about making a show and daring people to accept you. For me, National Coming Out Day is about our community sending a message of acceptance and support. If you hear someone say the word “gay” as a synonym for “stupid,” challenge it. Every time we use our words carelessly, we send a message that there is reason to fear, to hide, to be ashamed. National Coming Out Day matters, but what matters more is the daily individual commitment each of us makes to promote human dignity and respect, regardless of your personal sexual orientation or gender identity.
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it does get better. VIRGINIA WEST, MISS GAY OHIO USof a 2003 and MISS GAY OHIO AMERICA 2001. It’s been quite a long time ago since my coming out day in November of 1996. It’s crazy to me how long ago it was because it seriously feels just like yesterday. I grew up in a small town outside of Pittsburgh where everybody knew everybody. Gay people were very few and far between. A rundown steel mill town tends to keep things like that on the down low. I grew up in a large and loud Italian/Polish family that was extremely close and loving. I was always a good kid in school, except for the occasional party I would throw when the parents were out of town. I ran with many different crowds: jocks, cheerleaders, theatre kids, burn-outs, brain-iacs, and band kids. It was very different back then. You didn’t come out in high school, at least not where I grew up. Most of my friends had no clue I was gay. When I came out, some of them were completely shocked. Those who knew said they always knew. The most surprising part to me was none of them seemed to care. This made my coming out process much easier. The jocks who I thought would tease me or beat me up never did. In fact, some of them went to my first gay bar with me and to this day still stay in touch with me. To them, I was never defined by my sexuality. I was just me. My family took some time. I did not come out to them; it was more like they found out. I was visiting my brother in Columbus when a call came from Pittsburgh. My parents had found a card from my then boyfriend under my bed. I always say don’t go looking for something ya ain’t ready to find! Well they did. Now, I forgot to mention… my brother is also gay. My parents not only found out about me, but my brother as well. Not one gay son, but two. Let’s just say that didn’t go so well. I drove back to Pittsburgh to face my parents the next morning. I walked in to find them both waiting for me. After a few hours of talking and crying, and the occasional “go see a priest,” I decided it was best I moved out. I packed my car and headed back to Columbus to move in with my brother. That was 17 years ago, and I have called Columbus home since. My parents came around very quickly. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to hear at the same time that two of your three children are gay. I am lucky and blessed to have two amazing parents, an amazing sister, a fabulous gay brother, an incredibly supportive family, and wonderful friends. I feel I am actually closer to my family because I am gay. I know not everyone has a great coming out process, and my advice to those that don’t is this: Stay positive and true to yourself. It DOES get better. Family is what YOU create. Surround yourself with people who love you and bring out the best in you.
GLBT
COLUMBUS THE THIRD EDITION
Dear Friends, We are in the midst of producing the fourth edition of the groundbreaking and first of its kind publication in the nation Who’s Who in GLBT Columbus . If you self-indentify as a member of the GLBT community and would like to be considered for inclusion in this historic book, we invite you to submit a digital headshot and a current biographical sketch no longer than 180 words. All photographs and biographies must be received no later than Thursday, October 31, 2013. While inclusion is not always guaranteed, there is no cost associated with your information appearing in this prestigious publication.
Submit an up-to-date 180 word bio, and high resolution photo (300 dpi) .
Request information from a previous publication to be used in the upcoming edition. Nominate someone else who is
deserving to be featured in our publication. Submit, request, or nominate individuals by requesting or submitting information to : glbtcolumbus@whoswhopublishing.com
Be a Part of This Historic Publication
Now Accepting Submissions! Deadline is October 31, 2013
Culture
From Haute Couture to Tacky, Choosing the Perfect Halloween Look for You! | QUE JONES As Cady so eloquently stated in the blockbuster smash “Mean Girls,” “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” And while that may be true for pubescent girls and some of our less developed friends, most of us seek to inspire more than an erection when attending a Halloween-inspired get together. Whether it is High-Ball Halloween (as some call it “gay Christmas”), an office get together, or even a friend’s annual party, choosing the right costume can either make or break your night. Here are a few tips to help you choose the perfect costume for your audience!
Know your crowD
!
Knowing whom you are spending your time with is crucial to choosing a tasteful costume. Situational humor is always funny, but remember: Those jokes are only to people who are confident enough to laugh at themselves. Everyone loves an inside joke, but make sure not to rub your bosses the wrong way. Teasing is fun… when everyone is in on the joke. The High-Ball Halloween theme this year is “electric avenue,” so make sure to light up the night and bring your best glow. The Short North’s largest block party of the year, High-Ball, is a chance to let your hair down and have fun. Just remember, last year it was extremely cold, so wear a costume you will be comfortable in while braving the weather for the music, costume, food, and booze-packed evening.
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Don't be an Average Joe Jane
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All of us are familiar with the pop culture mishaps that have happened over the last year,. While they can be very funny costumes, nobody wants to be the fourth peach-bikini-wearing, foam-finger-toting, strange-ponytail-styling, tongue-hanging Miley Cyrus to walk through the door. The same goes for Paula Dean. If you want to make a pop-culture reference, instead bring back a humorous memory people have forgotten about. That could be George Bush with a pretzel around his throat, Arnold Schwarzenegger dressed as a maid, or any of the other farces that have humored our society in the past. Be original!
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Homemade is always better
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While some of us are limited on time, the barrage of Halloween decorations for sale at every store from September on reminds us the holiday of spooks is fast approaching. Use this time to your advantage. There is nothing more embarrassing than showing up at a ritzy event wearing the same off-the-shelf-shelf gown as someone else. Think who wore it better; only you are the butt of the joke. The only way to avoid that is to make an original costume. Now I don’t mean you have to be the tailor/seamstress of the century, but everyone can put something unique together. Be creative! Wear atypical items! Don’t be afraid to get messy! Being one of a kind will ensure you are the talk of the town, as well as make your Halloween experience one to remember.
halloween is the one time a year everyone can be anything they want to be. Whether you are putting a twist on a classic costume, making a pop-culture reference, or even creating an awe-inspiring look never before seen, Halloween is the one time a year everyone can be anything they want to be. While you are having fun being something else, remember everyone else still knows it is you, and you have to live with your choice until the following year! Be smart when dressing to impress without being embarrassing to yourself. Be unique and don’t be afraid to remind people of past laughs. And finally, be original by making a one of a kind costume. Trick or Treat.
! e z i l a i c o S Let’s
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Couple
Lindsay House & Crystal Ray
| Amy Tannenbaum
They have to say they met online – but the truth is, Lindsay and Crystal had noticed each other in the halls at work long before they exchange the first message. It was only after non-stop chatting and texting that they realized that they were colleagues! Crystal admits she had eyed Lindsay in the halls quite a few times: “How many butches are there in the office?” she jokes while Lindsay shrugs. And Lindsay explains that she first noticed Crystal because of her tattoos. Despite Crystal’s initial fear of taking the next step and formally meeting, they had their first date at a place that would become one of their favorites: the Columbus Zoo. It was November, during their annual Zoolights. It was meant to be romantic – until Lindsay’s friend called with a crisis and they had to end the date early. Luckily, that didn’t deter Lindsay and Crystal’s relationship. They love to spend time fishing and camping (“we don’t rough it up!” admits Lindsay), and they like attending auctions and yard sales, and hunting for antiques together. Separately, Lindsay loves to refinish wood and repurpose old furniture, while Crystal is an avid baker. (At this point in the interview, Crystal asks, “We don’t sound boring, do we?”) They also both share a love for tattoos. Lindsay says: “I feel mine are roadmap to my life; each one has a story.” Though Lindsay has been all over, she now has an “Ohio” tattoo because Ohio is now her home. She also got the word “liberty” tattooed the day DOMA was overturned. After 10 months, and much anticipation, Lindsay finally decided to pop the question. For the location, she chose to relive their first date – at the Columbus Zoo. She repurposed an old piece of wood with the question: “BE MY FOREVER?” And thoughtfully,
she decided to enlist the help of a professional photographer (me!) to capture the moment – and leave the sign in a place where Crystal would find it while casually exploring the Asia exhibit. Admittedly, Lindsay was nervous as it all went down, but played it off as being fidgety over low blood sugar. It almost backfired when Crystal insisted on getting Lindsay something to eat! But luckily, she stumbled upon the proposal sign first. Both Lindsay and Crystal later recall that neither of them said a word; Crystal read the sign and took the ring! And I greeted them after they had a moment to take it all in. Crystal and Lindsay are now hard at work on two upcoming major life events – buying their first home and planning their wedding next fall. They hope to settle in a farm style home with lots of land, and lots of space for refinishing wood and baking cakes!
e 9 n 2 o 2 t s e l Mi | Mike moffo and Craig Chadwell
STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, put on some clothes and go to Milestone 229. RIGHT NOW. Because not in your young, queer life will you ever again find a dining experience like this. Hands down.
You will be professionally greeted when you walk into this absolutely beautiful space on the Scioto Mile, looking over the river. You will also likely think it is going to cost you a mortgage payment – but it isn’t. Not even close. If the food were bad, it would still be a decent price – but it is SO good! We urge you to ask for Briana. We cannot remember a time when we have had service that good. She was attentive, knowledgeable, sweet, and funny. Most importantly, her personality carried through as she kept up with our bad jokes. She scored a huge bonus when she lobbed a couple fun comments back, as well. Absolutely perfect service. We started with drinks. They have created quite the custom configurations and of the five we tried, all were ah-mazing. We almost wanted to stop there because everything thus far was perfect and we didn’t want to give them a chance to mess up. And they didn’t. It just got better! Mr. Boring Tastebud ordered a burger. Just a 229 burger. But oh my. It was cooked a bit more than the preferred medium that we like, but by the time she had come back to check, it was too late to say anything. It was already half gone. Yup – that good. Fresh meat, definitely not a frozen patty, crispy onions, perfect tomato – it was superb.
Mr. Creative Tastebud ordered the special. It was a seared rare tuna with coconut basmati rice, garlic sautéed broccolini and orange Thai chili butter. The presentation made it almost too pretty to eat…almost. It was only due to the desire of diligence to our difficult task here of eating food and writing about it that knife and fork met tuna to mess up the flawless presentation (not really). A surprise to us, Executive Chef Nick Lombardo popped out to check on us as well. He did a few random stops around the dining room, asking people if they enjoyed their food. He revealed that there will be a new menu rolling out in October and we cannot wait to sample some of the sumptuous selections that he described. After topping off the already perfect experience with three different desserts, we were done. And I mean done. They nearly had to crane us out of the place. However, we urge you to try the desserts as well. Banana pudding, Susie’s Lemonade Pie, and the Salted Peanut Butter Parfait. Oy. We thought we had died and gone to gay heaven. It cannot be stressed enough. Go here, and soon, because it is a wonderful experience. We tried to grow extra thumbs to throw them up in the air. But alas, that didn’t work. So enthusiastically, we raise all four thumbs a mile high for Milestone 229. But, we quickly pull them back down so we can return to eating.
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Craig & Mike have been a couple for over 11 years and were married in Washington DC in 2012. They are the proud parents of three kids. Both appreciate great friends, reasonably-priced local eateries, good wine, and a nice IPA beer. They encourage you to “eat local” to support local businesses.
Angel Peterson STUDIO
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Labor of Love Classic | ZACH FOUCH
SCENE
AS A MEMBER of the North American Gay Volleyball Association (NAGVA) community, I have had the chance to travel to many different states and cities to play volleyball. But none of those events and places is as close to heart as the Labor of Love Classic held here in Columbus. This year marked the 21st anniversary of the classic, which is played over Labor Day Weekend; bringing together over 250 people from all around the country to both participate and support NAGVA. The team I played on during this year’s tournament was recently put together through knowing and playing with friends throughout the great Columbus volleyball community. Since the team was just beginning to play together, it was quite the experience as we played our first few games. However, in the competitive setting, you learn how to make adjustments quickly and enjoy the process. My team may not have finished on top this year, but the fun we shared playing in the Labor of Love Classic are the memories that will stay with me forever.
FITNESS FITNESS FITNESS FITNESS
Stretching: Your Pulleys and Levers | Michael Greenhouse The human body is a modern miracle with the ability to move massive amounts of weight in multiple directions with simple levers. But if the human body is such a perfect creation, then why are so many of our bodies failing us? The short answer is that we are not maintaining ourselves. Just like a car, your body needs to be maintained. Your car requires regular tune-ups to keep functioning smoothly. That goes double for your body, mainly because in many ways, your body works harder than your car. The easiest way to maintain your body is to stretch. We have all heard it before, but stretching is the single greatest thing you can do for your body. Yes, eating pure and working out are also very good, but being flexible allows your muscles to work correctly and reduces your daily aches and pain. Proper stretching gives you more energy to work out and to be active. Lifting weights is mostly a matter of physics. Our body is a system of levers. When those levers are positioned correctly, they have as much mechanical advantage as possible when moving weights. As the levers move, they will become tired. The surrounding muscles will become tight, thus putting strain on the levers. This strain will become painful if the muscles around the lever are not relaxed. The best way to relax these strained and tried muscles is to stretch them. Three main areas to stretch every day are: 1. Back 2. Chest 3. Calves
Those three stretches will target the muscles most overused on a daily basis. Granted, if you’re training other muscles, you must also stretch those muscles as well. But every day -- regardless if you train or not – it is beneficial to stretch these three muscles groups. Stretching may take a back seat when it comes to exercise programs, but it should be in the driver’s seat. Stretching has greater benefits then you may realize. It can and will improve athletic performance, will decrease the risk of injury, and will reduce daily aches and pains. For instance, imagine that your Achilles tendon is tight and lacks the needed flexibility to correctly work the ankle. If you happen to walk hills or the stadium stairs during an OSU game, your foot will not move through a correct and complete range of motion. Over time, the risk of tendinitis and injury to the ankle and foot can increase. Before you plunge into a stretching exercise, make sure you do it safely and effectively. While you can stretch anyplace – in your home, at work, park, or hotel – remember that stretching is a form of exercise. And as an exercise “form” it is important that it is executed correctly. More harm than good can be done if performed incorrectly. I suggest you consider speaking with a fitness professional on correct stretching protocols or log onto Quorum website for updates and videos. Michael Greenhouse owns Pure Life Fitness and specializes as a personal trainer in the areas of Exercise Physiology, Bio-mechanics, Strength, Conditioning, Diet and Rehabilitation Therapy. Find him at facebook.com/PureLifeFitness
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ORG
CRAB RACING WITH KRIS | KRIS LITTLER GREAT NAMES Lucille Claw-ll, Affirmative Crab-shun, Shark-Nado, Pinching Tiger, Hidden Crab, Krabniss Everdeen, Lady Claw Claw, Bro-barian, Roy E. Munson, Balloonicorn, Count Baculum, Montgomery Crab, Sloan Sabbath, Crust Racin’, and the tiniest crab: Gimme Shell-ter. Keep up the good work on the names! NOT SO GREAT Mark, Pretzel, Kitty, Mommy, Rehab Crab: Your asking why is this a losing name? Because crabs don’t quit! Kill Whitey, Gary’s Crab, F**K Texas, Lunch, Twerk, Tim Tebow’s Love Child, McKenzie F**king Zales, Rainbow Rumpus Party Town, Drawn Butter, and Who Cares. The funny thing is that when I looked over the past week’s race registration papers to compile the lists above, none of the NOT SO GREAT NAMES were qualifying race winners. Step it up people! The crabs want to be winners. Give them a winning name or should I say, “GREAT NAMES”? To be a part of this eccentric breed, all you have to do is show up on Mondays at 9:30 p.m. at Local Bar and/or on Thursdays at 9:30 p.m. at Exile Bar.
FOLLOW THE CRABS! / CRABRACINGWITHKRIS
Upcoming The Halloween Crab Race at Exile on October 31st will be something special! I’d like to give a big thanks to the sponsors that have donated prizes to the crab races! Since the list is rather long, I will feature as many as possible over the next few months. Here are some of our generous sponsors: La Fogata, Exile, Barrel 44, B. D. Mongolian, Spirits on High, AMC Theaters, Z Pizza, Union Bar, Explorers Club, The Pearl, Level, Jeni’s Ice Cream, White Castle, Taco Bell and Sushi Rock. Fascinating Fact People are under the misconception that crab racing is a long and slow process. However, a “long” race will last up to 55 seconds, a normal crab race lasts up to 30 seconds, and the fastest race on record is seven seconds. So the next time someone says, “Got a minute?” That’s one, two, or 8.571428571429 races. DAMN! Those hermit crabs are haulin’ shell! See you at the races! Until then, stay crabbie!
| JACKIE VANDERWORTH Dear Jackie, I have a best friend named Corey that lives on the west coast and is a really great guy. The problem is that he doesn’t seem to understand his worth and has been in what he calls a “relationship” for about 15 months. The guy he is with lives three states away and from what I understand rarely sees or calls Corey and refuses to make anything official. Corey has perfectly hot guys engaging him on Grindr daily, but he refuses to do anything about them as he believes himself to be in love and waiting for his “boyfriend” to move to where he lives and marry him, even though they have never discussed it. I have tried to support him in this venture and also coached him to move on for over a year. Any thoughts on how I can motivate him to move on before he realizes one day he wasted all this time? ~ Tyler Dear Tyler, It’s hard enough to maintain a relationship in the same city or state...let alone three states away, even when both parties are committed. It sounds like your friend Corey is the only one in this relationship and needs to be committed. He is in love with the idea of a relationship and is getting into this one for the wrong reasons. I would say it’s better to be alone than in bad company, but in this case the bad company is three states away and never around; he is alone anyway. Get him out with friends and back in the social scene and on social media. Maybe a good blind date or arranged house party sprinkled with a few Mr. Rights. Hopefully he’ll meet someone that will take his mind off the part-time “stealth boyfriend.” If he waits for this one and then it’s too late, Grindr will be obsolete and he’ll have nothing to Grind! ~ Jackie Dear Jackie, Halloween is approaching and it is my favorite holiday. My new boyfriend, Mike, is in great shape and really likes to show off his body in hot costumes or shirtless outfits with body paint. I have an average body and like goofy, silly costumes or group themes. I want him to participate with my friends in an ensemble 70’s show theme, and he’d rather go as a sexy, shirtless Superman. He is adamant
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Want tO ask jackie a QuestiOn abOut life, the universe, and everything? get sOme ansWers! JACKIE@QUORUMCOLUMBUS.COM
about doing his own thing and being hot. How shall I handle this, and what would be a good costume for us? ~ Joe Dear Joe, Well because you are a new couple, I would leave the friends out of this first Halloween and compromise by going as famous couple. Or since he likes superheroes, maybe be Robin to his Batman. And it can be a silly, goofy Robin if that’s your style. You have to be as comfortable in your skin, or in this case, costume as he is in showing his skin un-costumed. If he doesn’t like going as a duo, then may I suggest going as one thing: a horse. You can be the head and he can be the ass! ~ Jackie Dear Jackie, My name is Carol, and I dated this guy named Bob for years. I was madly in love with him, but he never asked me to marry him. One day, out of the blue, he marries some trailer-park trash, bleached blonde and has a kid with her. (She literally lives in a trailer park.) I’m a petite, size-2 aerobics instructor. Now, after a year of marriage, Bob is calling me and wanting to come over for sex, and I’ve been letting him. I can’t get over him. He is the best lover and the only guy who has made me see the moon, the stars, and the sun! Do you think he’ll eventually leave her for me? I’d rather have a little piece of him part-time than none at all. What should I do? ~ Carol Dear Carol, It sounds like you ARE getting a “big piece” of him but only in little doses. Why be someone else’s side dish when you can be the entire meal to someone else? You are selling yourself short. Never go back to an old love, no matter how strong the desire is. It’s like reading a book over and over again when you already know how it ends. If he’s the only guy that’s made you see the stars, moon, and sun, then I’d suggest moving to another galaxy! ~ Jackie
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4 Club 20 Old North Columbus 20 E Duncan Ave 614.261.9111 8 Exile Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069 10 Wine on High Short North 789 N High St 614. 294.8466 13 Local Bar Short North 913 N High St 614.670.8958 14 Slammers Downtown 202 E Long St 614.221.8880
2 Axis Short North 775 N High St 614.291.4008 22 Wall Street Night Club Downtown 144 N Wall St 614.464.2800 27 Garage: Resurrected Downtown 40 E Long St 614. 205.4317
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La Fogata Grill Short North 790 N High St 614.294.7656 Level Dining Lounge Short North 700 N High St 614.754.7111 Union Short North 782 N High St 614.421.2233 Circus Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998 Barrel 44 Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998 BossyGrrl’s Pin-Up Joint Old North Columbus 2598 N High St
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SHOP. 9 The Garden Short North 1186 N High St 614.294.2869 18 Torso Short North 772 N High St 614.421.7663 19 Torso (in Exile) Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069
ENGAGE. 5 ARC OHIO Clintonville 4400 N High St 614.299.2437 24 ARC OHIO Medical Ctr + Pharmacy Short North 1033 N High St 16 Stonewall Columbus Short North 1160 N High St 614.299.7764
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26 Explorers Club Merion Village 1586 S High St 614.725.0155
Cavan Irish Pub Merion Village 1409 S High St 614.725.5502 Club Diversity Brewery District 863 S High St 614.224.4050 Columbus Fuel Bar Merion Village 1312 S High St 614.725.0130 South Bend Merion Village 126 E. Moler St 614.444.3386 The Toolbox Saloon South Side 744 Frebis Ave 614.670.8113 Tremont Brewery District 708 S High St 614.445.9365
DRINK + DANCE. 1 A.W.O.L. Bar + The Barracks Olde Towne East 49 Parsons Ave 614.621.8779
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MUNITY RESOURCES
LOCAL & STATE ORGANIZATIONS Stonewall Columbus 614-299-7764 www.stonewallcolumbus.org The leading visionary, inclusive and fun-spirited LGBT organization in Central Ohio – sets the pace for increasing the visibility and acceptance of the community. It continues to be the driving force on the LGBT and allied community. ARC Ohio 800-252-0827 www.arcohio.org Fghts the spread of HIV, works towards reducing its transmission, stigma and the resulting discrimination through education and awareness, and provides HIV/AIDS.
BRAVO (Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization) 614-294-STOP www.bravo-ohio.org Works to eliminate violence perpetuated on the basis through prevention, advocacy, violence documentation and survivor services. Equality Ohio 614-224-0400 www.equalityohio.org A statewide lobbying organization working to secure equality for LGBT Ohioans. Kaleidoscope Youth Center 614-294-5437 www.kycohio.org Provides advocacy, education, support and a safe environment for LGBT youth in Central Ohio. P-FLAG Columbus 614-806-8025 An educational advocacy group working to increase awareness and understanding. Education and advocacy are the primary means of creating a hospitable environment for Central Ohio’s LGBT citizens and our families, friends and allies. Rainbow Sisters www.rainbowsisters.info A social and community-oriented group for lesbian women age 40 and over. Sisters of Lavender A social/support for women 40 and over. S.O.L. is the oldest lesbian organization in Columbus. TransOhio 614-441-8167 www.transohio.org Serves the Ohio transgender and allied communities by providing services, education, support and advocacy to promote and improve the health, safety and life experience of Ohio transgender individuals.
NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS GLAAD www.glaad.org National organization that promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity. Human Rights Campaign www.hrc.com The nation’s largest gay and lesbian political organization. NGLTF www.thetaskforce.org The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) is a leading progressive civil rights organization that has supported grassroots organizing since 1973. The National Coalition for LGBT Youth www.outproud.org A wide range of resources available for youth and educators.
The Queer Resources Directory www.qrd.org and everything queer including families, youth, politics, resources, media and more. ARTS & MUSIC Capital Pride Band of Columbus 614-325-1590 www.cappride.org An Ohio-based LGBT organization that formed in 2003 and currently has a membership of over 70 instrumentalists.Our "all are welcome" policy applies to anyone interested in membership, regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, disability, age and sexual orientation. Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus 614-228-2462 http://www.cgmc.com/ Singing out since 1990, this chorus presents a series of concerts year. Open auditions held prior to rehearsal for each show. Evolution Theatre Company 614-233-1124 www.evolutiontheatre.org A semi-professional theatre company that presents musicals, dramas and comedies that have not been Broadway shows as well as new works and world Imagine Productions 614-398-1110 www.imaginecolumbus.com theatrical troupe committed to entertaining and educating community stakeholders in the Columbus Metro area through performing arts. We believe in inclusiveness, openness, and tolerance, and recognize that empowerment and growth occurs with audiences and performers, alike. Wexner Center for the Arts 614-292-3535 www.wexarts.org Internationally known contemporary arts center at
and educational programs, as well as a store and a café (Heirloom), all under one roof in an architectural landmark. COUNSELING Randi Cohen, LPCC-S 614-267-1993 www.randicohen.com Private practice in counseling working with adults helping to create strong sense of self, good communication tools & to get a clearer sense of how others see you, by focusing on awareness and working in the present. Shawn D. King, PhD., LISW 614-655-3554 www.shawnkingphd.com Providing individual, family, and group counseling services to the LGBT community. Specializing in relationship issues, anger management and mental health services including anxiety and depression. HEALTH & WELLNESS CHOICES 614-224-4663 www.choicescolumbus.org Takes pride in being the premier direct service provider of accredited domestic violence programming in central Ohio. Since 1977 they have provided counseling, shelter, crisis intervention, education and community and legal support and advocacy to central Ohio residents facing domestic violence. The Crystal Club 614-214-4828 www.thecrystalclub.org transsexuals, female impersonators, and other transgender individuals. Huckleberry House 614-294-5553 www.huckhouse.org Established in 1970 to provide a safe place for runaway youth in Columbus. Today, it provides many programs to help teens all over Franklin County who are in crisis situations, who are homeless or runaways. NetCare 614-276-CARE www.netcareaccess.org Provides twenty-four hour mental health and substance abuse crisis intervention, stabilization and assessment for Franklin County residents. Planned Parenthood of Central Ohio, Inc. 614-224-2235 www.plannedparenthood.org The nation's oldest and largest sexual and reproductive health care organization. America's most trusted name in women's health. Trevor Project 866-4U-TREVOR www.thetrevorproject.org Determined to end suicide among LGBT youth by including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline.
ADJOURN
LGBTQ History
| PHYLLIS GORMAN I came out in Columbus, Ohio in 1975. I was a queer long before it was cool. I was an unrepentant 18-year-old butch whose self-proclaimed motto “no pets, no plants, no children” summed up my commitment to carefree living. This was a time when “coming out” brought with it an assumption that “never becoming a mother” was one of the realities that a young lesbian could either grieve or celebrate, but could not change. Imagine my surprise – six years and two girlfriends later – when I began a 30 year relationship with the woman who would become the founder of momazons, “a national organization for lesbian mothers and for lesbians who want children in their lives.” (The organization’s name was intentionally never capitalized.) Kelly McCormick birthed our only child, a son in 1991. But long before Keegan’s birth – with Kelly in the lead – momazons was dedicated to making space for lesbians who were “choosing children.” She was momazons’ driving force; I was its major funder and head foot soldier. Explicitly feminist, the momazons model for activism included publishing a bimonthly newsletter designed to facilitate “a dialogue about lesbian experiences and opinions” for women “seeking camaraderie, information, and support.” This was in the pre-internet era of ugly lesbian custody battles, denied access to reproductive technologies, and often insurmountable legal and policy barriers blocking the pathways to parenthood offered by international and domestic adoption and foster parenting. Throughout the region we organized momazons’ work sessions and “founding mothers” leadership meetings, social gatherings for families, a wide variety of educational workshops, and intensive group sessions for “Thinkers & Tryers.” Whether you were single or coupled, the goal was always providing support for “the many different ways lesbians choose to include children in our lives.” Referrals were researched by momazons for lawyers, doctors, adoption agencies, and school systems in Ohio and throughout the US. Our membership list neared 1,000 at its peak and stretched across the country and overseas. Courts of the previous era (circa 1970s & 1980s) relied on almost universally negative psychological models that held lesbians to be pathological and “unfit” to be mothers. We rejected the notion that “good” lesbian mothers were invisible. As activists – momazons’ “founding mothers” and membership – dismissed the need to conform to cultural standards of femininity and regularly waved our banner proudly at both local and national political, cultural, and social events. The goal was creating safe space for our families. The tactic was visibility.
Criticism came as often from our fellow lesbian feminists or more “old school” dyke networks as from the ranks of unsupportive medical, legal, and education professionals. It was indeed a radical notion to assert that single lesbians might choose motherhood, that women with kids from previous heterosexual marriages could indeed be lesbians, that lesbian couples could create families of their own, and that co-parents – not just biological mothers – could be an indispensable part of raising children in loving nurturing families. Today most folks in our LGBTQA communities take for granted that gay male, lesbian, bisexual, or trans* parents are capable of providing positive role models for our children while challenging restrictive gender norms. It is self-apparent that having LGBTQ parents won’t make a child gay or trans* and that kids can and do grow up healthy and happy in our families. The radical choices of just a decade or two ago have given rise to a new normal. Rather than grieving the loss of parenthood as a social option, young LGBTQ folks are increasingly confronted not by barriers but instead by the reality of making choices about their own parenting paths. Our community lost Kelly McCormick in 2011, but if she were still alive today, I think she might think it is time to start organizing some “Thinkers & Tryers” meetings again. Parenthood is not for wimps, and I for one still think that there is plenty of radical work to be done by our next generation of momazons. I’ve still got the banner… if anyone wants to wave it!
Phyllis Gorman is a Columbus native and longtime activist who served as the second female executive director of Stonewall Union from 1991-1994 (aka Stonewall Columbus). A feminist sociologist, “Dr. Phyl” teaches at Ohio University - Pickerington Center. She currently serves on the United Way of Central Ohio’s Diversity & Inclusion committee and Pride Leadership sub-committee. Photo | Amy Tannenbaum
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