Quorum Columbus November 2013

November 2013

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NEW MENU. NEW HAPPY HOUR. BEST LOYALTY PROGRAM IN COLUMBUS

6 SARA SHARES Sara’s Thankful List

30 COUPLE BJ White & Kari Engen

12 EDUCATE Let’s Talk Transgender

32 NOVEMBER BARTENDERS Lauren Barr & Geoff Smith, of Mouton

14 SCENE Out of the Closet 16 DEVELOPMENT Giving Thanks & Giving Back 18 SEXPERT Love Lost & Lessons Learned 20 SCENE Spirit Day 22 Feature Fraternity & Family

November

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29 THE TASTE BUDS Garcia’s: A Family Affair

CONTENTS About our November Photographer: Allyson Fridley has always enjoyed being behind the camera. “I love to play with light and long shutter speeds; you never know what you are going to get.” While attending The Arts & College Preparatory Academy, she decided to be a photographer. As a result, she studied photography at Columbus State Community College. “I believe that photos keep the best memories, so I want to preserve the fun times in our lives. Everything is beautiful in my eyes; whether it is a stray cat, or an elderly couple walking in the park. I just want the world to see what I see.” Currently she mostly photographs weddings and senior portraits, but her dream is to be an animal photographer or an event photographer for national music magazine. Allyson is now part of the Quorum Columbus crew.

34 MOSAIC Be a Love Scientist 36 CULTURE A Culture of Giving 38 Fitness Eat Pure 40 TRANSlation Advice from Jackie 45 ADJOURN Shane Morgan

For more information visit: www.QuorumColumbus.com

quorum crew Isaac Bendele Mickey J. Hart Bowen Marshall Sara Ernest Amy Tannenbaum President & Publisher Editor Columnist Columnist Photographer

Columnist

Patrick Butler Graphic Designer Illustrator

Michael Lovett Scene Contributor

Evan T. Robinson Columnist

Also on the crew:

JM Rayburn Graphic Designer Social Media Manager

Jerry Turnes Web & Digital Media Developer

Josh McConaughy Scene Contributor

Que Jones Columnist

Kris Littler Contributor

Erik Hays CFO

Craig Chadwell Graphic Designer Columnist

Mike Moffo Accounts Executive Columnist

John Henry Columnist

Michael Greenhouse Columnist

This month’s Contributors:

John S. Lathram, Photography Andrew Johnson, Assistant Editor Shane Morgan, Adjourn Jackie Vanderworth, Columnist Robert Feuillerat, Airbrush Artist Ray LaVoie, Photography Sandy Rollins, Cover Model Allyson Fridley, Scene Photography Reggie Weaver, Cover Model Clare Hughes, Graphic Design Heather Doughty, Graphic Design Joshua McCarty, Distribution Coordinator

#JoinTheQuorum

A SEASON OF THANKS | MICKEY J. HART The season of giving thanks is upon us. One of the things I am thankful for is the caring and supportive nature of our LGTBQA community. I am thankful for the support Quorum Columbus has received since our launch seven months ago. I am also thankful to live in a community that is very generous with its treasure in an effort to help other segments of the community.

I am always amazed at the income generated from fundraisers and charity drag performances. These good works benefit our community in countless ways!

The giving nature of our community should be a source of pride for all of us. In my cheesier moments (and I have plenty of them), I call the November holiday Thanks-for-giving. Yes, it is cheesy, but it is very fitting.

This month we offer a cornucopia of people, events, photos, and ideas. Bowen Marshall introduces the men of Sigma Pi Beta, a fraternity for Queer and Allied men at OSU. Josh McConaughy is back on the scene with the best of Sunday Funday. Amy Tannenbaum celebrates a couple, through words and photos, who have been together since 1989. Michael Greenhouse offers a timely reminder of the health and fitness benefits of eating pure foods. Shane Morgan, founder and chair of TransOhio, wraps up this issue with a mindful reflection.

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you!

Mickey J. Hart Editor mickey@quorumcolumbus.com

perspectives

SARA SHARES | SARA ERNEST WHAT’S THE BEST THING about Thanksgiving? Is it Grandma’s super-secret, Thanksgiving-only casserole? The Thanksgiving football watching and beer drinking with seldom-seen cousins?

Maybe it’s the “Let’s go around the table and say one thing we are thankful for” exercise that puts everyone on the spot. No, that’s not your favorite thing?

Oh, come on…who doesn’t like being put on the spot about something that they are thankful for? I’m sure I’m not the first person to worry that what I might say in that moment could be judged by a little known family member. Or worse, I just might not be able to truly say anything good.

While these fears are likely irrational, they are still enough to make some people break out in a cold sweat and develop a sudden, intermittent case of lockjaw. Maybe now would be a good opportunity, in the “pressure-free” environments of our own minds, to take a stroll down the memory lane of the past year.

The next thing on my list is The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS). Whether or not you plan to get gay married, I think SCOTUS should be considered for inclusion in everyone’s Thanksgiving list. By striking down parts of the Defense of Marriage Act and refusing to rule on the fight over Prop 8 in California, the justices have put us that much closer to equality.

Finally, for the purposes of this column, I am thankful for Quorum Columbus magazine and the opportunity to be like Andy Rooney, only not as grumpy. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have been connected to the great group of people I get to work with and have the opportunity to present my opinions to our readers every month.

I’ve touched on some pretty big concepts in this column. Don’t let that be too intimidating. It’s OK to start small. Sometimes we have a really rough go of things, and it seems pretty difficult to come up with something that we are thankful for. Trust and believe that the inside joke with my friend who’s trying to hide the purchase of an $80 baseball cap from his husband made it on my list just because it makes me smile.

Good things happen to us every day, but in order to truly appreciate them, we need to make a conscious effort to think about what those things have been. Whether or not the Thanksgiving tradition of going around the table is something that happens around your Thanksgiving dinner table, this is the perfect time of year to take a step back and evaluate the great things that have happened. I’ll start.

GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO US EVERY DAY, BUT WE NEED TO MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THOSE THINGS HAVE BEEN. The first thing that comes to mind is not so much a thing, but a force of nature. Nina West makes my list of things that I am thankful for. She has been giving back to the community for as long as I’ve known her, and her ability to put a hopeful spin on a really traumatic experience and turn it into something empowering is pretty incredible. When the community was rocked by an unusual bout of violence, she turned it into an opportunity to raise money for BRAVO and call attention to violence against our LGBTQ brothers and sisters around the country. Granted, I have missed a couple Fridays of wearing pink, but I do still wear it almost every week. Even if no one else notices, it makes me stop and think about what’s going on in the world and what I can do to help.

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| JOSH MCCONAUGHY Sunday might be a day of rest, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also be the most fun day of the week. Friday is a work day and the bars can be congested with too many youngsters and bachelorette parties on Saturday. Sunday is just right. This often overlooked weekend day is quickly becoming my favorite time to venture out and be social.

Brunch is the best way to start Sunday Funday. Gossiping about who your friends went home with the night before and drinking mimosas is the perfect cure for a hangover.

There are several of great places for brunch, but I am partial to Level Dining Lounge in the Short North and Jack & Benny’s in Clintonville.

I love a good sing-a-long, so my favorite part of Sunday Funday is Sunday Showtunes at Union. If you’ve never been, you are missing out on a very entertaining evening.

The soundtrack for the evening includes Broadway classics as well as fun songs and skits from TV and movies. The crowd favorite is usually the medley from Sister Act, complete with audience members dressing in habits and performing the dance moves on stage.

It’s fun to end your evening with karaoke at Level or, for the more devout “Church” goers, strippers at Axis and Exile.

Whatever you do, just embrace Sunday Funday and make the most of your weekends before Miserable Monday rolls around again.

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Now �at �e shadow of DOMA has lifted...

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R E ND E G

EDUCATE - ENGAGE

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Starting from the premise that too often the “T” is left out of the LGBTQ conversation, Pride Leadership Cycle 6 coordinated an evening designed to help change that. LET’S TALK TRANSGENDER: A Community Conversation on Creating Inclusive Environments was held on October 22 at the Longaberger Alumni House on the OSU campus.

The 175 attendees heard from former Columbus resident Cory Frederick of iEd Worldwide. Later Frederick joined a panel hosted by 10TV’s Chris Bradley that also included Tara McKenzie Allison, Cherno Biko and Mason Caminiti. While much was shared and learned during the event, a concluding theme was that everyone could benefit from learning more about the diverse members of the trans* community.

The educational event was the culminating service project of the participants of Pride Leadership Cycle 6. Pride Leadership is an intense eight-month training program of United Way of Central Ohio designed to prepare LGBTQ participants for effective service on non-profit boards or community leadership positions in an effort to increase diversity.

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Interested in being part of Pride Leadership Cycle 7?

Learn more at: www.LiveUnitedCentralOhio.org

Editor’s note: Quorum Columbus wants to continue the conversation to help educate the

LBGTQ and larger communities about trans* and gender non-conforming people and issues. Watch for increased coverage in future issues.

2 0 1 3 T r a n sge n d e r A w a r e n ess Week N o v embe r 1 8 - 2 2 TransOhio coordinates this week dedicated to celebrating the lives and stories of Ohio’s trans* community.

Monday, November 18 at 6pm

At the Intersection: Black, Brown, and Trans* Ohio Union’s Cartoon Room, 3rd Floor, OSU, High St. TransOhio and Columbus Urban Pride host a community conversation exploring the intersection of gender identity, race, and ethnicity.

Wednesday, November 20 at 7pm

Trans* Day of Remembrance King Avenue United Methodist Church, corner of Neil Ave. TransOhio holds this annual service to mark National Transgender Day of Remembrance and to honor those who have been assaulted, harassed, and killed as a result of the hatred or fear of transgender and gender non-conforming people.

Learn more about the week’s events at: www.TransOhio.org

Photos | Ray Lavoie

Out of thE Closet Scene

OPEN FOR BUSINESS

With interpretive dance, stilt walkers, a ribbon cutting, and trademark pink and green balloons soaring, the kickoff of Out of the Closet thrift store was truly a “Grand Opening!” The Columbus store is the 22nd facility operated nationally by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF). Located in the Short North at 1230 N. High Street, the new store is far more than meets the eye. Nestled in the back of the store is a pharmacy that serves the community regardless of ability to pay. Out of the Closet is able to make this work because 96 cents of every dollar of thrift store sales goes toward HIV/AIDS prevention and community support.

Adam Ouderkirk, Senior Director of Program & Business Development for Out Of The Closet and AHF said, “With the combination of HIV healthcare, STI testing and treatment, HIV testing, and pharmacy services, we are able to address all aspects of sexual and HIV health – promoting sexual responsibility, reducing viral load in those infected, helping people know their status, reducing ignorance about HIV, and getting closer to our goal of stopping this epidemic.”

The facility offers free STI testing and on-site counseling.

They accept most insurances, Medicaid, Medicare and clients without coverage benefit from a Ryan White grant through the Columbus Public Health Department. Out of the Closet also operates a Patient Care Facility at 815 W. Broad St., Suite 350.

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Out of the Closet is determined to make a difference in the level of care to the Columbus LGBTQA community as they have in other communities. The Quorum Columbus crew had the pleasure of attending the opening festivities.

We are thrilled to help welcome this national non-profit service organization to our community!

Give ThankS and Give Back DEVELOPMENT

| JM RAYBURN

There are over 1,600 charities in need of funding, volunteers, and advocates.

IF YOU WANT to change the world, start with your city.

It’s a simple concept and one that led me to study urban planning in graduate school. The best way to create positive change is by volunteering. This month I want to share with you two local non-profits that were founded by members of the Columbus LGBTQ community, Gay For Good and Besa.

Quorum Columbus highlighted the Columbus Chapter of Gay For Good in the September issue. The volunteer organization strives to build positive relationships within the community and among each other. It also aims to shine a light on the positives of the gay population, to meet new people in a different setting and to change the image of what some people might think of the LGBTQ community. Each month, Gay For Good selects a different non-profit to donate time for a community service project.

The organization does not ask for financial contributions but only asks for your time and people power.

The second non-profit is Besa. This organization exists to help volunteers discover their passion and how their contribution will make a difference in our community.

I am personally involved with Besa through my role as a Volunteer Leader for one of its causes. What drew me to Besa is that its volunteer opportunities are geared toward young working professionals. All of the volunteer events take place after 5 p.m. on the weekdays or over the weekend. This makes it very convenient to find local causes in Columbus. Now more than ever, our city needs members of the community to step up and give back in ways that are personal, significant and rewarding. There are over 1,600 charities in need of funding, volunteers, and advocates.

Columbus is an incredibly diverse and welcoming city because a vast majority of the people is smart, open, and selfless. It’s a city of great opportunity where nearly everyone can receive a quality education, find a good job, eat great food, take in the arts, and even run a marathon.

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But there lies the problem. Nearly everyone does not constitute everyone. The level of need in our community far outpaces the level of resources. This month we celebrate Thanksgiving. We are reminded to give thanks, but I dare everyone to do better than that. Give thanks and give back. There is no better time than now to get involved and create positive change.

info@MyBesa.org

g4ginfo@gayforgood.org

facebook.com/GiveBesa

SEXPERT | JOHN HENRY AS I BEGIN THE LAST year that I can legitimately claim to be in my early 20s, I often think back on all that has happened in the last 10 years. I am awed by all that has changed, the people who have come and gone in my life, and the person I turned out to be. Almost a decade ago, I was an insecure 14-year-old freshman in high school struggling to come to terms with my identity. I often claim that I never really “came out.” That’s true in the sense that everyone knew I was gay before I really came to terms with it myself. Realistically, I always knew too.

What was most difficult for me was the shame and guilt I felt being the youngest of three gay children. At 14, my sexuality seemed to be the last remaining hope for my parents to have a “normal” child. To grow up, get married, and have children was something I knew my parents wanted for me. I now know that, while that was what they wanted and still want for me, it doesn’t matter if the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with has a penis or a vagina. They want me to be happy and be with someone who loves me for me.

I suppose that has been something I’ve struggled with throughout my young adult life. After I became comfortable with my sexual identity, it was still difficult to understand exactly what I wanted when it came to a partner. I’ve always struggled with self-confidence. I feel that is something that many of my LGBTQ brothers and sisters share. We have strived for acceptance for so long that when someone shows the slightest interest, it is very easy to allow that person into your life and idealize or even idolize him/her. I know that I am not alone when I say that people are not always what they present themselves to be. Most of us, myself included, had to learn this lesson the hard way. The key is to learn and grow from these experiences.

As we focus on all that we are thankful for, remember to be thankful for the shitty experiences. Each bad breakup or awkward casual encounter helps us grow. They allow us to become better, stronger and more conscious of what we truly want and need. While those experiences provide the opportunity, it’s up to each of us to break the pattern and not repeat our mistakes. We are responsible for realizing what didn’t work in each relationship and avoiding it in the future.

Someday, your prince (or princess) will come, but you have to know what he or she will look like. In the meantime, you’ll have to kiss a few frogs. Be thankful for the frogs in your life and the lessons you’ve learned from them.

IN THE MEANTIME, YOU’LL HAVE TO KISS A FEW FROGS.

When it comes to sex and relationships, the majority of us have made questionable choices. Love and lust have a tendency to cloud our judgment. Whether it is a one-night stand or a five-year relationship, we all have things that we regret or wish would have turned out differently. What we often lose sight of is the positive things that came from those mistakes. With every relationship or encounter we learn things about ourselves and others that make us stronger people. We learn how to recognize warning signs and what things are non-negotiable in the future. Life is a journey and our sex lives are part of that journey.

Free confidential HIV and STI testing is available at ARC Ohio’s locations. Anonymous HIV testing is available.

For more information call 614-299-2437 or visit www.

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arcohio.org

GLBT

COLUMBUS

®

THE THIRD EDITION

Dear Friends, We are in the midst of producing the third edition of the groundbreaking and first of its kind publication in the nation Who’s Who in GLBT Columbus ®. If you self-indentify as a member of the GLBT community and would like to be considered for inclusion in this historic book, we invite you to submit a digital headshot and a current biographical sketch no longer than 180 words.

All photographs and biographies must be received no later than Monday November 18, 2013. While inclusion is not always guaranteed, there is no cost associated with your information appearing in this prestigious publication.

Submit an up-to-date 180 word bio, and high resolution photo (300 dpi) .

Request information from a previous

publication to be used in the upcoming edition.

Nominate someone else who is

deserving to be featured in our publication.

Submit, request, or nominate individuals by requesting or submitting information to : glbtcolumbus@whoswhopublishing.com

Be a Part of This Historic Publication

Now Accepting Submissions!

Deadline is November 18, 2013

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| BOWEN MARSHALL MANY THINGS CAN come to mind when we think of fraternities. Movies like “Animal House” or “Sorority Boys” portray fraternities as dens of debauchery or party houses, as spaces where blatant sexism takes

place or where homophobia runs rampant. But for some, the word “fraternity” takes on a completely different, noble and aspirational meaning. It is a space where like-minded persons can come together to support one another and work together for a purpose greater than themselves.

I had the chance to sit down with Alexander (Maxi) Henn, the president of Sigma Pi Beta, a new fraternity for Queer and Allied men at the Ohio State University. Maxi was gracious enough to share his thoughts about fraternity and to tell us the story of how he and his brothers are working to create social change by existing and coming together in fraternity.

I think and I hope you’ll agree that to Maxi and the men he lives and works with, “fraternity” means so much more; to them, it’s family.

Photo | Ray Lavoie

Q: What does being in this fraternity mean to you?

Q: Why have a Queer and Allied fraternity and why now?

A: Being a part of Sigma Phi Beta means creating a community within Greek Life that wasn’t there previously. Sigma Phi Beta provides a family for those that may not have one. Whether our brothers are far from home or not accepted for who they are by their biological family, they are given a safe space in Sigma Phi Beta.

A: I have gotten a lot from my brotherhood. I think being a part of the LGBT community can leave you feeling alienated in a largely straight world, and Sigma Phi Beta creates a great support system. I feel truly comfortable talking to them about anything and I don’t know if that would be true in the typical fraternity environment. I think this happened now because of how inclusive America has become. While the LGBT community has a long ways to go to reach equality for all, I think the enthusiasm and support we have gotten in bringing Sigma Phi Beta to Ohio State’s campus shows how much has changed!

Q: What is your fraternity’s mission?

A: Our mission is to promote equality and respect by providing Queer and Allied men in college with a uniquely diverse, safe space within the traditional Greek fraternity system. We strive for integrity and professionalism and uphold high standards of scholarship and excellence.

I AM VERY CLOSE TO MY FRATERNITY BROTHERS. THEY HAVE GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME HARD TIMES...I COUNT ON MY BROTHERS FOR A LOT. Q: What’s it like being in your fraternity?

A: We love to joke around and have fun. We are all very easy going, but we are very serious when it comes to making a difference in Columbus and being there for one another. We have a saying that goes, “Never leave a brother behind.” And we live by that saying every day.

Q: What do you want people to know about your fraternity?

A: Sigma Phi Beta is a Queer and Allied fraternity for men.

Anyone who identifies as a man can rush our Greek organization. That being said, all of our current brothers are gay.

Also, one of the most common questions we get is whether there are many sexual relationships within our chapter.

As all of our current members at Ohio State are gay, this is an understandable question. We have a national ‘amorous’ policy making that type of thing difficult. Sexual relationships are also forbidden between active brothers and guys that go through our new member process. This is to prevent any favoritism when we extend bids and any manipulation of new members.

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Q: What are the bonds you have formed with your fellow fraternity brothers?

A: I am very close with my fraternity brothers. They have gotten me through some hard times. They’ve helped me through break ups, given me dating advice, and were there for me during the recent passing of a loved one. I count on my brothers for a lot.

Q: What do you look for in prospective fraternity members?

A: I look for an open-minded man with the drive and potential to improve himself. Greek life is a huge time commitment, so he needs to be able to give his time and energy to the organization. A prospective fraternity member also needs to understand our unique position to break stereotypes both within and outside of Greek life. All of my brothers are incredibly devoted to the fraternity and I couldn’t be prouder to call them family.

What’s a family without photos?

Fraternities, like families need to represent themselves being awesome in their holiday cards.

So, guys (and friends of guys) take your pick and send out your favorite image to your contact list, REPRESENT!

Scene

CMH: A Fashionable Week

| Michael Lovett I will be the first to tell you that I know nothing about fashion. So this month I decided to attend some CMH Fashion Week events, and let me tell ya, I’m glad that I did! Founder and director Tommy McClure orchestrated an amazing week of fashion and entertainment. In addition to the events I went to during the week, I had the pleasure of attending the Finale Runway Show at COSI. London, Paris, Milan, New York, and now Columbus are showing the world the new trends in fashion and pushing the vogue envelope. Eighteen designers, including headliner Nary Manivong, worked tirelessly to design, tailor, and dress models in masterpiece wardrobes. At one point my date and I caught ourselves critiquing each designer’s style as if we were the fashionistas of the world. Not only were the styles bold and unique but the models were there to work!

After the runway show, the designers, models, show organizers, and attendees made their way to Hollywood Casino to celebrate at the CMH Fashion Week afterparty. I must admit my luck at the casino tables was not so hot, but my frenzy for fashion is heating up. I can’t wait to see what McClure and his team has in store for CMH Fashion Week 2014.

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Photo | Kris Misevski

Join us for 4 nights of LGBT Films at the special rate of $10 with an LGBTFEST Pass!

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 10 8pm @ Studio 35 Cinema & Drafthouse 3055 Indianola Avenue

G.B.F. Admission is $5, FREE for CIF+VF, Stonewall members and LGBTFEST pass holders.

Sponsored by

What happens after Tanner is outed by his classmates and becomes the “gay best friend” for three high school queen bees? From the Director of Jawbreaker, starring Natasha Lyonne, Megan Mullally, Paul Iacono and Michael J. Willett.

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 12 7pm @ Wild Goose Creative 2491 Summit Street

CONTINENTAL Admission is $5, FREE for CIF+VF, Stonewall members and LGBTFEST pass holders.

A compelling documentary about the rise and fall of the infamous New York City bathhouse. Interactive Skype Q&A with director Malcolm Ingram following the film.

3RD PLACE LGBTFEST WINNER!

POST FESTIVAL SCREENING SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17 7pm @ Drexel Theatres 2254 East Main Street

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR $9 General Admission, $7 Seniors, $7.50 Students, FREE for CIF+VF, Stonewall members and LGBTFEST pass holders.

The sensation of the Cannes Film Festival and the most controversial film of the year, Blue is the Warmest Color made cinema history as the first film ever awarded the Palme d’Or to both its director and its actresses. In a star-making role, Adèle Exarchopoulos is Adèle, a passionate young woman who has a yearning she doesn’t quite understand until a chance encounter with the blue-haired Emma ignites a flame and brings her to life.

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 13 6.30pm Reception 7.30pm Screening @ Canzani Center - Columbus College of Art & Design 60 Cleveland Avenue

LGBTFEST AWARDS NIGHT AND SHORTS Admission is $5, FREE for CIF+VF and Stonewall members and LGBTFEST pass holders

+ Hatch + Brighton + A Matter of Sex 2ND PLACE LGBTFEST WINNER! + Grotto + Ying And Yang 1ST PLACE LGBTFEST WINNER! Filmmakers Kevin Darnell Walker and Randall Lorin Sawyer will be in attendance to introduce their film and lead a Q&A following the screening.

Refreshments and light appetizers by Explorers Club prior to the screening.

ENJOY COLUMBUS PREMIERES OF AWARD WINNING LGBT FILMS

November 10-17, 2013 Get More Information and Purchase Tickets at

LGBTFEST.ORG or call (614) 299-7764

TASTE BUDS

Garcia’s: A Family Affair | CRAIG CHADWELL & MIKE MOFFO ONE OF THE TRUE GEMS of Columbus’ Old North is a long-standing legend of Columbus’ locally-owned restaurants, Garcia’s Internazionale Restaurant. Located at 2573 N. High St., Garcia’s is a Peruvian-Mexican Fusion restaurant that is coming up on four decades of producing amazing food and drinks. Though Taste Bud Craig used to be a regular back in our college days (we won’t mention what years...talk about “retro”), it had fallen off the “food radar” until a happenstance visit with two of our kids reminded us why this place was deserving of a Quorum Columbus mention.

Garcia’s was started by the parents of the current owner (who also founded Jack & Benny’s, located right next door.) We discovered during the recent visit that the current owner’s daughter is not only the executive chef, but graduated high school with our oldest daughter. Even before the connection to our daughter was discovered, we had already been happily impressed by the gleeful greeting. It is a true family-owned business, locally run and locally supplied. This is exactly the kind of place that we enjoy. Our dollar stays local; yours should too.

This place is incredibly clean. The décor is unique and eclectic and has been that way for a while. We’ll call it “authentically retro.” As it goes with many ethnic family-owned establishments, the owner, Iggy, will likely swing by for a chat while you are there. Take a minute to listen to his passion about his restaurant.

That all said, let’s discuss their food. It is very fairly priced and delicious. We suggest you start with Fish Ceviche. As their menu boasts, it is a Peruvian specialty: mild white fish macerated in lemon and lime juice with a hint of aji amarillo and rocoto, hot pepper, cilantro, and celery.

Sounds delicious, right?

Garcia’s will host a “Fiddle & Banjo Contest and Chili Cook-Off” on Saturday, Nov 16 from 3-9pm. Admission is $10 and includes chili tasting, music, and an appetizer spread. Half of the admission will be donated to the Clintonville Food Bank.

That’s because it IS delicious. The Fried Sweet Potato was amazing as well. No description needed; it is a perfectly fried sweet potato. Tuesdays and Thursdays are mustvisit days: beef or bean corn-shell tacos for 75-cents until they’re gone. To compliment those, you’ll want an ice-cold Iggy Margarita, full of flavor and fun, for a mere $2.99.

For your main entrée, it is difficult to suggest one thing over another. It is all THAT good! A few of our favorites are Rosita’s Cilantro Pulled Pork (Peruvian Style), Peruvian Andean Grilled Pesto Chicken, and the Garcia’s Chimichanga.

Though we haven’t tried everything (yet!), we have been remarkably happy with every dish that has come from the kitchen. And it doesn’t hurt that you are greeted with a Zantigo sign when you walk in the door! (Some of you hopefully are old enough to remember Zantigo, right?)

You know the line – two hands each and four thumbs between us allows us to throw four thumbs up. And since two of the kids were with us, EIGHT thumbs up to Garcia’s Internazionale Restaurant!

Craig & Mike have been a couple for more than 11 years and were married in Washington, DC, in 2012. They are the proud parents of three young adults. They appreciate friends, reasonably-priced local eateries, good wine, and a nice IPA beer. They encourage you to “eat local” to support local businesses.

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Couple

BJ White & K ari Engen |Amy Tannenbaum Kari and BJ were in different places when they met as undergrads at OSU back in 1989. Kari was three years ahead of BJ, taking music classes to fill up time outside of her field placement, while BJ, a music education major, was a wideeyed freshman following all the rules. When they crossed paths at the music school, BJ was determined to avoid her with all her might. But somehow, Kari always found her way to BJ’s work-study job at the instrument library, after band rehearsal. This was the late 80’s; Kari had not discovered her sexual identity yet, and BJ was refining hers. By coincidence, BJ was Kari’s little sister in an honorary sorority. “We were around each other a lot, whether we liked it or not,” BJ says.

Eventually, Kari and BJ did come out to their families a couple of years later when they decided to move in together.

And since then, they’ve built a life together – the majority of it spent here in Columbus. They admit they are fans! They value their relationships with their families, who are local to the area, and they work hard to keep their connections with them intact. In a lot of ways, they explain, managing all the aspects of their own relationship is easy compared to keeping their relationships with their family. “I’ve always liked Ohio,” says Kari, “and I’ve always liked Columbus. It’s very progressive, and I don’t know many other places like it… I’m a Midwestern person, and Columbus is a very progressive city.”

You allow yourselves the ability to make mistakes, to be human, to go about life one day at a time, and support one another.

The following spring, after soul searching and a talk one evening, the two became an item. But the two were still in the closet in 1989, so they were just an item between the two of them.

Now, more than 20 years later, BJ recalls all the times Kari came around to see her at the library, and jokes: “I married my stalker!”

During the years they’ve been together, Kari and BJ have experienced two different careers each and many ups and downs, including a legal wedding ceremony during a trip to Massachusetts in 2007. So what is the key to maintaining such a strong relationship for so long?

“Many would say communication,” answers BJ. “But there’s no such thing as zero tolerance. You have to be able to accept that you are two different people. No matter how much you want to redefine coupledom, you are still two different individuals; you can’t change the other person. A person will change themselves, but they will not change for you; that just doesn’t happen.”

BJ goes on to explain, “Have realistic expectations and be willing to define roles. There is no standard to our relationship …you don’t plug yourselves into a formula.

You’re in a continuum; you allow yourselves a margin of error that’s larger than life. You allow yourselves the ability to make mistakes, to be human, to go about life one day at a time, and support one another. It comes down to unconditional support, endurance, and tolerance.”

And finally, Kari notes, “We’ve behaved like a married couple for 20 plus years; we haven’t held back from friends. We’ve never behaved like we were just buddies, or just dating…

We’re not in it for just the moment. We always saw ourselves being together.”

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Photos | Amy Tannenbaum

THIS MONTH, we feature not one, but TWO bartenders. A trip to the “artisan drink” bar revealed two amazing bartenders, and we simply couldn’t decide on just one.

Lauren Barr and Geoff Smith have been bartending about 8 and 4 years respectively, and they say there’s never a dull moment. “It’s about that magic moment where you find the right drink that fits the person,” says Lauren. “It’s like being in a family,” Geoff quickly followed up.

Mouton originally began as a wine bar, but has evolved into classic cocktail bar serving artisan drinks to a knowledgeable clientele. The bartending pair encourages folks to check out Mouton’s Sunday Brunch, which features local fruits, meats, and cheeses, but they warn that it’s not a typical “hangover” brunch.

Head to Mouton to start your Sunday off right, not recover from Saturday. (Not that it wouldn’t be great either way.)

WHO:

COCKTAIL:

WHERE:

THANKFUL FOR:

LAUREN BARR & GEOFF SMITH

Mouton 954 N High St., Columbus OH 43201 614.732.4660

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L: The Negroni: Gin + Putmes + Campari G: Islay Scotch + A few drops of water, neat

L: Family, friends, and her dogs.

G: The fantastic Columbus community. (And his motorcycle.)

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| BOWEN MARSHALL IT WAS A MONDAY and I was on the elliptical, bouncing up and down, getting my sweat on, and hearing the latest romantic dish from my doctor friend. This is our semi-weekly tradition: one hour of scheduled gym time to detox and swap stories.

She was recounting one of those epic second dates. It was one where you are just getting to know someone, and suddenly without trying, you are indescribably happy and entranced by the beauty of the world. I love hearing those stories, and I was listening intently to her happiness when suddenly she became very direct.

“I know to the outside world I seem like I’ve got all the answers, and I can say to myself, ‘Why wouldn’t he want me?’” she said.

“But the thing is, I really like him and so there is a part of me that thinks, ‘What makes me so special that he would forsake all others and pick me?’”

My immediate response: “You’re a smart, funny, bombshell with a doctorate and absurdly straight teeth.”

“I know, but you know me” she responded. “When I really like someone, I get all giddy and nervous.”

BOTTOM LINE, GET OUT THERE AND EXPERIMENT YOU LOVE SCIENTIST! Her statement made me chuckle because in love, or at least when we see the potential for love, being giddy and nervous is how we all seem to be. We’re excited at the prospect of what is to come because when you’re out there dating, there are so many more misses than hits. And we are nervous because, as we show our true selves, we worry the people we really like might see underneath our charming exteriors and decide they don’t like what they see.

My friend knows logically what causes her giddy nervousness, but she needed to be reminded of that and, more importantly, she needed to be reminded of her awesomeness.

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“I’m going to appeal to the scientist in you. Right now, you are starting what you hope will be a very successful experiment.

But, like the beginning of any experiment, you don’t know how it’s going to turn out,” I responded. “You have a hypothesis that this will be great. You are in the process of setting up your experiment, and then you collect the data. If this is meant to continue beyond infatuation the data you will see and feel is that he makes you feel like the smart, beautiful, and funny person that you are.

Just give it time.”

She smiled and thanked me for the pep talk, but I got to thinking of love and, more specifically, dating as experiments in which we are all scientists; sometimes our methodology—the way that we approach someone or a situation—is all wrong for the given person. Sometimes we are far too eager and try to rush things and end up messing it all up. And sometimes, our best experiments don’t work out.

What we have to remind ourselves is that in the experiment of dating, sometimes a negative outcome is inevitable. The fear of that outcome shouldn’t stop us from experimenting, and it shouldn’t drive us to force things to get an immediate answer about where the relationship is going. Both of these actions are sure-fire ways to wreck our experiments And even once the evidence starts to build that the relationship is going well, unlike the experiments we run in our labs, experimenting with love and dating, is never over. Living with the hopeful anticipation of an uncertain future is par for the course.

So, take heart and have courage if you are just starting to see someone.

Consult with lab mates (aka friends) that you trust and who know something about these experiments.

And remember, it is better to have lost your eyebrows in a freak Bunsen burner explosion then to have someone tell you that you need to tweeze your eyebrows…wait, that didn’t make sense. Scratch that. Bottom line, get out there and experiment, you love scientist!

ORG

CULTURE

A Culture of Giving | Que Jones WE ARE A CULTURE of selfish, self-centered, and narcissistic individuals, and yes, I am aware this sounds harsh. This is not entirely our fault, but it’s also not fair to place all the blame on the media, companies, and those around us. While these companies do always advertise the next big thing, without us jumping the gun to purchase these items, that would cease. Do we really need that new HD TV that is two inches larger than the 2-year-old TV hanging on our wall? In a world that is all about receiving, let us take a moment to look at the people around us.

Just this past month, I was sitting on the COTA bus on my way to school. It was a Tuesday and the weather was that of a blustery autumn day. I witnessed something that morning that would shake the very foundations of how I think. In front of our Short North Kroger were two homeless gentlemen sitting on the bench by the bus stop.

One was eating a bag of snack mix and sharing with the older of the two. The bus pulled up and they both stood up to get on the bus; I later found out they were on their way to a lunch program in north Columbus. The older man paid his way on with a bus ticket while the other man counted change he had been given to get on the bus.

He came up short! At this point other passengers were getting irritated as well as the driver (he had a schedule to keep) and the man sheepishly began to step off the bus.

The older gentleman, who was also homeless, pulled out a dollar to pay the other man’s way onto the bus. It wasn’t the college students standing in the front who would readily throw their dollars into a cup of coffee or soda who paid for his ticket, but the homeless man who barely had enough to take care of himself. The other man thanked him and got on the bus, where they proceeded to sit in different spots.

The older gentleman ended up sitting in front of me and I was so intrigued by what I had just witnessed. I struck up a conversation. “Did you want to sit by your friend? I could get up,” I said. “Oh, I don’t know him,” he responded.

I was so caught off guard. I had just witnessed the two sharing food and helping pay each other’s way. His name is Red, nothing more and nothing less as he put it, and he is a remarkable human being. Working for years in a dying industrial industry he finally was forced out of, Red found a home amongst the other vagabonds of Columbus.

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Even though Red has nothing, he is willing to give everything to help another.

Red is not a drug user, though he has been known to enjoy a beer or two. Even though Red has nothing, he is willing to give everything to help another.

I started asking Red about how to help the homeless who are sometimes going to take the money and use if for harmful things. Here is what he said: “Don’t give them money without striking up a conversation. Some can’t manage their money as it is, and some will buy drugs or booze. Find out who they are, and if you can, give them something that will help. One-use bus passes are great! Pack a sandwich in your bag before you leave for the day with the intention of giving it to someone. Blankets are bulky and hard to move around with. Give long underwear; someone can wear it, stay warm, and be able to easily maneuver the city.”

What I learned from Red is that we need to help each other, and I mean TRULY HELP! Giving someone a dollar may be what he or she needs, and it may not. Take a second of your time and get to know them because maybe there is something else you can do. And finally, GIVE TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS! We don’t need most of what we want and living without it will simply make us appreciate life more. When giving to charities however, beware! Make sure it is a valid charity with truly wonderful goals and is open to all people. I’m not naming any names, but we will let the bells in the distance speak for themselves.

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Eat Pure For Peak Performance | Michael Greenhouse AS A FITNESS PROFESSIONAL and a movement specialist, I am consistently asked about nutrition and good diet quality. The same question seems to arise, “What can I eat to make me healthier and slimmer?” I respond with the same answer every time, “Eat pure and natural.” For some reason, that answer isn’t always descriptive enough.

So let’s examine why eating pure and natural is the best form of a diet -- for more than just slimming down and getting healthier.

Pure and natural foods are those with as few chemicals and preservatives as possible. If an ingredient list has more than six or so items, it is likely overly-processed and not pure. Eating pure and natural foods consistently is difficult because of our fast-paced lifestyles. If it is possible to slow down and eat pure, do it!

Eating pure and natural foods will help: Support a Healthy Immune System

Peak performance is your ultimate goal. The difference between an average and a breakthrough training session (or race) is mostly determined by the rate at which your body can regenerate from daily workouts. To that end, nutrition has the greatest effect on recovery. The best foods for promoting recovery are filled with vitamins and minerals like calcium and iron. As a bonus, these foods are also rich in electrolytes and essential fats. A whole food, plant-based diet provides all these nutrients, and more.

Training hard increases inflammation, suppresses immune function, and raises core body temperature. Fitness enthusiasts and competitive athletes alike strive to consistently train and compete. An advantage of eating a pure diet rich in plant-based and natural foods is that it improved immune function.

An easy way to break it down:

If you wonder how food can enhance your performance, remember that pure and natural-based nutrition is a viable option. Still, embarking on a pure diet journey can feel daunting to anyone. It’s a challenge for everyone, including fitness professionals like me. Making changes and moving toward a more pure diet do not have to be drastic or sudden. Challenge yourself to incorporate just one pure meal a day. Breakfast is often the easiest because it’s eaten before the day gets away from you. Blend a smoothie with a plant-based multisource protein blend. Add fruit, peanut butter, or almond milk. Switching out just one meal a day is a great way for you to transition to a more pure and natural-based lifestyle.

Reduce Inflammation

While exercise provides many benefits, it does stress the body by causing acute inflammation and increasing cortisol levels. A single round of exercise induces oxidative stress in both skeletal muscle and blood, potentially lasting several days. A pure diet rich in fruits (blueberries and cherries), vegetables (broccoli and carrots), and polyunsaturated fats helps lower the generation of inflammation.

Nutrient-Dense Recovery Exercise recovery includes muscle building and replacing energy stores. It also involves helping to reduce postworkout fatigue and latent muscle soreness. Carbohydrates activate insulin production, the hormone that drives muscle building. Eating carbohydrates in a 4:1 ratio with protein after a workout is the fastest way to replenish muscle glycogen stores. A pure diet offers clean, 38

easily-digestible sources of complex carbohydrates.

Starchy vegetables such as squash or sweet potatoes are excellent.

Training session + proper nutrition = faster recovery time = better and more frequent workouts = greater and quicker gains = increased likelihood of goal achievement = better lifestyle!

Recover faster, train hard, and perform better – starting today!

Michael Greenhouse owns Pure Life Fitness and specializes as a personal trainer in the areas of Exercise Physiology, Bio-mechanics, Strength, Conditioning, Diet, and Rehabilitation Therapy.

Find him at www.facebook.com/PureLifeFitness

CRAB RACING WITH KRIS | KRIS LITTLER GREAT NAMES Shell of a Man, Shelly Winters, Hermit Melville, Shell-quille O’Neal, CinderShell-a, Sheryl Shellberg, Shell-ock Holmes, Claw-set Case, Conch Potato, Shell be comin’ around the Mountain, Crab-a-geddon, and Cayenne Pepper.

NOT SO GREAT Henry, Walter, Spagg Ho, Sebastian (Really?! This name is now banned from the Crab Races!), Bill’s Breast, Nemo, Doug needs a Hug, Pink Like My Tw@+, Damn Crab, and Andy Garcia is Driving My Bus. UPDATE Our October themed “Night of the Killer Crabs” had a killer turnout. It was great to see so many new faces at both locations this past month. Bring your friends—crabs are supposed to be shared. Local Bar on Mondays at 9:30 p.m. and Exile Bar on Thursdays at 9:30 p.m.

Upcoming Our next themed race, “HAPPY CRABS-GIVING” is on Thursday, Nov 21 at Exile Bar. Remember we give our extra prizes at the theme races. Who doesn’t like more FREE stuff? You could win a complete Thanksgiving dinner!

Fascinating Fact There is no such thing as a captive-born hermit crab. All crabs spend their first 30 days in the ocean until they are big enough to find their first shell to crawl into.

FOLLOW THE CRABS!

Facebook/ CrabRacingwithKris See you at the races!

Until then, stay crabbie!

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WANT TO ASK JACKIE A QUESTION ABOUT LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING? GET SOME ANSWERS! JACKIE@QUORUMCOLUMBUS.COM

| JACKIE VANDERWORTH Dear Jackie, When my husband and I first got married, we alternated spending the holidays between his parents’ house and my parents’ house. But since his parents moved away, we’ve been going exclusively to mine who live in the same city. Now that we have children, he understandably wants to travel to his parents’ home so the kids can see them. But it is so much work to travel with kids, and I really don’t want to put up with the hassle at the holidays. They want us to come this Thanksgiving, and now my mother is balking at the idea. I’m not sure how to make everyone happy...any ideas? ~ Susan Dear Susan, It sounds like the only person you want to make happy is yourself. Here’s a suggestion- why don’t you host the Thanksgiving dinner in your home for all the family members?

No suitcases to pack for the kids, both sets of grandparents in the same house, and you cooking the Thanksgiving dinner and starting a new tradition. If the grandmothers want to help, let them. But it is time for you to put on your hostess hat so you’re not the turkey at this Thanksgiving dinner! ~ Jackie Dear Jackie, My partner Kirk and I just got married and are now home from the honeymoon. It is now that dreaded time to sort through all the gifts and send out thank-you notes. Kirk thinks it is unnecessary and a waste of money to mail them out, and I think we should. I was thinking of giving it a modern touch by sending a Facebook or text thank-you note to the guests. What do you think of this idea? ~ Dennis 40

Dear Dennis, Good manners and taste never go out of style, even in this modern age. Your guests spent time and money attending your wedding, so they at the least should receive a nice thank-you card. A simple and thrifty way to do this, with a modern twist, is to create your own thank-you notes off the Internet and print out post card-style thank-yous. This way your thank-you notes can be clever, creative, and cheap! (Post cards are less costly to mail!) If you can afford the invitation, you can afford the thank you! ~ Jackie Dear Jackie, I’m dating this new guy named Doug who’s 23 and I am 28.

The problem is he believes in total honesty and wants to know everything, and I mean everything, from my past to my current thoughts! I’m not used to this kind of relationship. I am always truthful with my partners, but I don’t feel comfortable telling them every detail. The most recent question is “how many lovers have I had?” How should I answer that one? ~ Erik Dear Erik, We all have a past filled with secrets and mistakes, good with bad, happy with sad. Tell him you’ve led a happy and healthy sex life but don’t feel comfortable giving him a number because people are not numbers, and you have experience that will benefit him. Some mystery is important in any relationship and open books usually get torn pages. Just remember Kiss and Tell can end in Hell. If he still pressures you for a number, tell him 1,000...the look on his face should be priceless! ~ Jackie

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DRINK.

DANCE.

4 Club 20 Old North Columbus 20 E Duncan Ave 614.261.9111 8 Exile Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069 10 Wine on High Short North 789 N High St 614. 294.8466 13 Local Bar Short North 913 N High St 614.670.8958 14 Slammers Downtown 202 E Long St 614.221.8880

2 Axis Short North 775 N High St 614.291.4008 22 Wall Street Night Club Downtown 144 N Wall St 614.464.2800 27 Garage: Resurrected Downtown 40 E Long St 614. 205.4317

EAT + DRINK. 11 12 21 23 25 28

La Fogata Grill Short North 790 N High St 614.294.7656 Level Dining Lounge Short North 700 N High St 614.754.7111 Union Short North 782 N High St 614.421.2233 Circus Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998 Barrel 44 Short North 1227 N High St 614.421.2998 BossyGrrl’s Pin-Up Joint Old North Columbus 2598 N High St

614.725.5402

SHOP. 9 The Garden Short North 1186 N High St 614.294.2869 18 Torso Short North 772 N High St 614.421.7663 19 Torso (in Exile) Italian Village 893 N 4th St 614.299.0069

ENGAGE. 5 ARC OHIO Clintonville 4400 N High St 614.299.2437 24 ARC OHIO Medical Ctr + Pharmacy Short North 1033 N High St 16 Stonewall Columbus Short North 1160 N High St 614.299.7764

MERION VILLAGE

BREWERY DISTRICT SOUTH SIDE OLDE TOWNE EAST

EAT + DRINK.

DRINK. 3 6 7 15 17 20

26 Explorers Club Merion Village 1586 S High St 614.725.0155

Cavan Irish Pub Merion Village 1409 S High St 614.725.5502 Club Diversity Brewery District 863 S High St 614.224.4050 Columbus Fuel Bar Merion Village 1312 S High St 614.725.0130 South Bend Merion Village 126 E. Moler St 614.444.3386 The Toolbox Saloon South Side 744 Frebis Ave 614.670.8113 Tremont Brewery District 708 S High St 614.445.9365

DRINK + DANCE. 1 A.W.O.L. Bar + The Barracks Olde Towne East 49 Parsons Ave 614.621.8779

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MUNITY RESOURCES

LOCAL & STATE ORGANIZATIONS Stonewall Columbus 614-299-7764 www.stonewallcolumbus.org The leading visionary, inclusive and fun-spirited LGBT organization in Central Ohio – sets the pace for increasing the visibility and acceptance of the community. It continues to be the driving force on the LGBT and allied community.

ARC Ohio 800-252-0827 www.arcohio.org Fghts the spread of HIV, works towards reducing its transmission, stigma and the resulting discrimination through education and awareness, and provides HIV/AIDS.

BRAVO (Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization) 614-294-STOP www.bravo-ohio.org Works to eliminate violence perpetuated on the basis through prevention, advocacy, violence documentation and survivor services.

Equality Ohio 614-224-0400 www.equalityohio.org A statewide lobbying organization working to secure equality for LGBT Ohioans.

Kaleidoscope Youth Center 614-294-5437 www.kycohio.org Provides advocacy, education, support and a safe environment for LGBT youth in Central Ohio.

P-FLAG Columbus 614-806-8025 An educational advocacy group working to increase awareness and understanding. Education and advocacy are the primary means of creating a hospitable environment for Central Ohio’s LGBT citizens and our families, friends and allies.

Rainbow Sisters www.rainbowsisters.info A social and community-oriented group for lesbian women age 40 and over.

Sisters of Lavender A social/support for women 40 and over. S.O.L. is the oldest lesbian organization in Columbus.

TransOhio 614-441-8167 www.transohio.org Serves the Ohio transgender and allied communities by providing services, education, support and advocacy to promote and improve the health, safety and life experience of Ohio transgender individuals.

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NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS GLAAD www.glaad.org National organization that promotes fair, accurate and inclusive representation as a means of challenging discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity.

Human Rights Campaign www.hrc.com The nation’s largest gay and lesbian political organization.

NGLTF www.thetaskforce.org The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) is a leading progressive civil rights organization that has supported grassroots organizing since 1973.

The National Coalition for LGBT Youth www.outproud.org A wide range of resources available for youth and educators.

The Queer Resources Directory www.qrd.org and everything queer including families, youth, politics, resources, media and more.

ARTS & MUSIC Capital Pride Band of Columbus 614-325-1590 www.cappride.org An Ohio-based LGBT organization that formed in 2003 and currently has a membership of over 70 instrumentalists.Our "all are welcome" policy applies to anyone interested in membership, regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, disability, age and sexual orientation.

Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus 614-228-2462 http://www.cgmc.com/ Singing out since 1990, this chorus presents a series of concerts year. Open auditions held prior to rehearsal for each show.

Evolution Theatre Company 614-233-1124 www.evolutiontheatre.org A semi-professional theatre company that presents musicals, dramas and comedies that have not been Broadway shows as well as new works and world Imagine Productions 614-398-1110 www.imaginecolumbus.com theatrical troupe committed to entertaining and educating community stakeholders in the Columbus Metro area through performing arts. We believe in inclusiveness, openness, and tolerance, and recognize that empowerment and growth occurs with audiences and performers, alike.

Wexner Center for the Arts 614-292-3535 www.wexarts.org Internationally known contemporary arts center at

and educational programs, as well as a store and a café (Heirloom), all under one roof in an architectural landmark.

COUNSELING Randi Cohen, LPCC-S 614-267-1993 www.randicohen.com Private practice in counseling working with adults helping to create strong sense of self, good communication tools & to get a clearer sense of how others see you, by focusing on awareness and working in the present.

Shawn D. King, PhD., LISW 614-655-3554 www.shawnkingphd.com Providing individual, family, and group counseling services to the LGBT community. Specializing in relationship issues, anger management and mental health services including anxiety and depression.

HEALTH & WELLNESS CHOICES 614-224-4663 www.choicescolumbus.org Takes pride in being the premier direct service provider of accredited domestic violence programming in central Ohio. Since 1977 they have provided counseling, shelter, crisis intervention, education and community and legal support and advocacy to central Ohio residents facing domestic violence.

The Crystal Club 614-214-4828 www.thecrystalclub.org transsexuals, female impersonators, and other transgender individuals.

Huckleberry House 614-294-5553 www.huckhouse.org Established in 1970 to provide a safe place for runaway youth in Columbus. Today, it provides many programs to help teens all over Franklin County who are in crisis situations, who are homeless or runaways.

NetCare 614-276-CARE www.netcareaccess.org Provides twenty-four hour mental health and substance abuse crisis intervention, stabilization and assessment for Franklin County residents.

Planned Parenthood of Central Ohio, Inc. 614-224-2235 www.plannedparenthood.org The nation's oldest and largest sexual and reproductive health care organization. America's most trusted name in women's health.

Trevor Project 866-4U-TREVOR www.thetrevorproject.org Determined to end suicide among LGBT youth by including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline.

MINDFULNESS AND REFLECTION | SHANE MORGAN I find myself being very reflective and introspective this time each year. This is partly because as I get older, time seems to speed up and partly because there’s been many things that have been so life-changing for me in recent years. As a result, I am now keen on practicing mindfulness and being more intentional. Both take a lot of work, and I have to admit my practice of the above is nowhere close to perfect!

That said, it’s been a challenge to put these things into action both in my professional work (the work I do that pays my bills) and my other professional work I do with TransOhio to support the trans and gender nonconforming communities in Ohio and nationwide.

Admittedly, at times I’m pretty awful at juggling, yet as with everything in life, it’s about finding balance. Right?

There’s an ebb and flow to everything. To help with balance as we near the end of the year, I think about all the people I’ve met and learned from over this and past years.

These are people that I grew up with, travelled with, and those I’ve worked with and learned with through my volunteer work. I also can’t forget those who I admire within leadership. In everything I do, I always try to remember to stay grounded, to stay humble, and to not take anything for granted. I’ve met amazing people across the country who have shared such intimate stories about their experience growing up and their self-discovery, especially in regards to gender identity and what that means to them.

I think back to when I was a kid and my folks would always say that when I grew up, I’d meet and marry a nice Jewish man who was a doctor. I don’t think anybody got what they had necessarily envisioned for me. I mean, they did get the “nice Jewish man,” but I know what they had in mind wasn’t what they got! Not to mention that what those identities meant to them then isn’t the same as they mean today.

For those who don’t know me, I’m trans. I was labeled female at birth, raised and socialized as a girl, and was expected to grow up to be a mom and a wife (married to a nice Jewish doctor). My identities are much more complex and intertwined than just being a “nice Jewish man,” and I definitely bucked the mold within my family. I think that they’d agree I have learned that I have privilege that I must acknowledge. I’m white, employed, have a home to call my own, and if you didn’t know who I was or what my background was, you’d never know I wasn’t born a biological male. Plus, since I transitioned,

there are only two people lost because of my decision to transition, though, in reality, they were never really there in the first place. Additionally, white male privilege does exist and those who say it doesn’t exist are wearing a blindfold.

I work with organizations and community members to host Trans Day of Remembrance. I think about all those in my community, but primarily trans women of color who have been on the receiving end of terrible media representation, a never ending battle to make ends meet, horrific abuse, brutal crimes, and even murder. Many trans people must fight tooth and nail to survive and sometimes to even walk across the street. Their treatment is something I think about often – very often. I suggest that this season is an opportunity for all of us to check our privilege and to practice mindfulness in order to be more reflective and affirming as we move forward.

Shane Morgan is the founder and chair of TransOhio.

He has been an advocate for the trans and gender non-conforming community in Ohio and nationally for 10 years. For more information about Shane or TransOhio, visit: www.transohio.org

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