QSaltLake Magazine | Issue 351 | September, 2023

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YEARS OF RIRIE-WOODBURY

DANCE COMPANY

LOGAN PRIDE • SOUTHERN UTAH PRIDE • CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATES ON LGBTQ

The true goal isn’t about transgender people or drag shows. It’s about you.

Theultraconservatives pushing against drag story hours and the rights of transgender people have finally tipped their hand a bit and revealed their true ultimate goal: You.

Singer Kid Rock went after Bud Light in a huge way, even going so far as to machine-gun cases of the beer in a viral video, followed up by “Fuck Anheuser Busch,” because a transgender influencer was sent a case of cans with their likeness on it.

And then, just weeks later, he is seen in his own bar (which never stopped selling Bud Light) drinking the Devil’s elixir.

But it was never about Dylan Mulvaney or Anheuser Busch. It was about you.

This month, the true intent of this and a multitude of other actions and tweets, and Fox News stories by the uber-right was admitted by the poster boys of the efforts.

Matt Walsh, a host for far-right media outlet The Daily Wire and one of the most virulently anti-trans voices in the country, kicked off a tweet storm about recent calls to boycott brands like Bud Light and Target by explicitly outlining what he says has been the goal from the start.

“The goal is to make ‘pride’ toxic for brands,” Walsh tweeted. “If they decide to shove this garbage in our face, they should know that they’ll pay a price. It won’t be worth whatever they think they’ll gain. First Bud Light and now Target. Our campaign is making progress. Let’s keep going.”

Another Daily Wire host, Michael Knowles, backed up Walsh’s point. “This has been the point that has been building for months now, which is we need to make that symbol toxic, the Pride flag symbol, we need to make that toxic,” Knowles said. “We need to have companies think twice about it.”

“Everyone was talking about the Dylan Mulvaney incident as being harmful to the Bud Light brand,” Knowles continued. “That’s true. But more importantly, it was

harmful to the Dylan Mulvaney brand. Now, other companies are going to think twice before sponsoring Dylan Mulvaney because they don’t want to lose $6 billion in market cap in two days. That’s what we got to do. And then once we make these things culturally toxic, or as we’re making these symbols culturally toxic, we’ve got to bring in the cavalry, we’ve got to come back in with more political force to ban some of this stuff and to say no.”

Walsh tweeted, “The Bud Light boycott will prove to be one of the most significant conservative victories of this decade. It was never just about Bud Light. It was about sending a message.”

The message is to send the entire LGBTQ+ movement back into the closet, just like the Pride items at Target literally were.

Ultra-conservatives are declaring the Pride flag to be “fighting words.”

If you think that you and your rights are separated in the minds of the ultra-right from the rainbow flag, you are mistaken.

They are doing the traditional “divide and conquer” tactic that works for nearly every social movement that exists. It also worked for the Nazis.

Some gay men, especially, are working to separate the LGB and the TQ+.

“I’m not holding any ill will toward anyone, but as a gay man I didn’t agree to have the ‘movement’ hijacked by the alphabet mafia,” reads one post from an Ogden gay man.

The leader of the Utah Log Cabin Republicans is on a war path with transgender people and drag shows.

And this month, an ally was murdered by a young man for putting the Pride flag in front of their business.

Suspect Travis Ikeguchi’s social media posts show him tearing down and burning Pride flags, just like what happened on Washington Street in Salt Lake last month.

The true target of all this noise is you, your rights, and even your lives. Q

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The top national and world news since last issue you should know

Spacey, not me too

Kevin Spacey legally got to

Third Base in London when a jury found him not guilty of all charges of sexual assault. That makes one dismissal, a dropped case, and now an acquittal in his high-profile “Me Too” persecutions. Spock impersonator, Anthony Rapp, charged Spacey had victimized him when was just 14. The case was dismissed for lack of credibility and outright falsehood. The second, a suit by a 20-year-old waiter in Massachusetts, fell apart before proceeding. Now, an English Jury found him not guilty, even though the judge opined that Spacey act boorishly. The first, ostensive false, charges got him fired from the hit Netflix series, “House of Cards,” and his sinecure at London’s Old Vic theater. He was forced to pay millions to the series’ producers. The only question now is, where does one of the best, most riveting actors in the last 50 years go to get his career back?

LGBTQ gains and losses in various states

IDAHO: A federal appeals court upheld a lower court’s injunction blocking Idaho’s transgender participation in sports law. The 2020 law, the first in the nation, barred transgender women and girls from competing against biological females in public

school and college athletic competitions. The injunction barring enforcement of the law will stay in place as the suit goes through the courts.

GEORGIA : The Cobb County School Board in Georgia voted to fire a teacher after officials said she improperly read a book on gender fluidity, “My Shadow is Purple,” by Scott Stuart, to her fifth-grade class. The board overruled the panel the board appointed to investigate the incident, which had decided the teacher had violated district policies but said she should not be fired.

MISSISSIPPI : After a hearing where parents shared concerns about the gay-themed graphic novel, “Heartstopper,” the Columbia-Marion County Public Library temporarily removed the graphic novel from bookshelves. The books were originally requested by patrons, but no one spoke in opposition to pulling the books. The books show and tell of a love story between two British teenage boys and their coming out experiences. It has been turned into a sweet, family-friendly Netflix series that is currently trending with subscribers.

NORTH CAROLINA: The North Carolina legislature voted to override the veto of three bills regulating services to transgender teens in the state. One law sets standards for teachers’ use of materials, displays, and activities in classrooms relating to sex and gender issues. Another bans the use of surgical procedures, pharmaceuticals, or hormone treatment as gender or sex therapies for minors. The last law requires students in state tax-supported public schools and higher education to compete in athletic events based on the sex listed on the official

birth certificate. Opponents of these laws have promised legal action to stop the laws from going into effect.

Michigan court extends parental rights

The Michigan Supreme Court made a new parental rights law, ruling a woman can seek a custodial relationship of her partner’s biological child who was born before their same-sex relationship ended. Marriage equality was not in effect when the child was born in 2008. Had the couple been able to marry, the partner would have been extended parental rights. Seems logical, but the plaintiff was not an egg or sperm donor, so the rights were denied. The two women “co-parented” after their relationship ended. But in 2017, the birth mother demanded the non-birth parent stop having contact with the child.

Better late than never, PM sorry

U.K. Prime Minister Rishi Sunak apologized to gay and lesbian military service members mistreated or discharged under a ban that was in place until 2000. His apology came after the release of a report estimating that “hundreds, if not thousands … were dismissed or suffered because of the ban.” He said the ban was “an appalling failure of the British state.” Great Britain decriminalized homosexuality in 1967 but continued to bar gay and lesbian citizens from the military until the European Court of Human Rights revoked the ban in a 2000 ruling. Some gay and lesbian service members were denied medals, and some lost their pension rights. The report calls for redressing the denials and reinstating pensions with retroactive back pay.

Uganda most anti-gay/ lesbian place on Earth

The African country of Uganda has passed what many call the most anti-gay and lesbian legislation in the world. The prohibition of same-sex relations is a legacy of the colonial era, but Uganda took it a step further. Instead of fines, the “Anti-Homosexuality Act ” imposes a 20-year sentence for “recruitment, promotion and funding” of same-sex “activities” and even bans identifying as gay and lesbian. It makes what the law describes as acts of “aggravated homosexuality” — defined as same-sex relations involving HIV-positive people, children, and other vulnerable groups — punishable by the death penalty. The World Bank has suspended any further loans to Uganda, and U. S. foreign policy calls for immediate review of aid to countries with laws punishing consensual adult homosexual activity. The U.N. Human Rights Commission, which has 13 African Nations sitting on the board, stated, “Making homosexuality punishable by death is an egregious violation of human rights.”

Gay and lesbian vets sue over ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’

A group of gay and lesbian veterans filed a civil rights suit against the Department of Defense for failing to overturn their dishonorable discharges in the wake of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” DADT, a federal law passed in the 1990s and repealed in 2010, specified policies for gay and lesbian members of the U.S. Armed Services. Approximately 35,000 service members were dishonorably discharged under the law. Those veterans lost access to healthcare, education, unemployment, and housing benefits offered

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS news

through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. The Defense Department says there is a process the discharged veterans can follow. The suit would put the burden of clearing the records on the DOD. The suit claims the process “broken” and is lengthy and confusing.

Death of director, resurrection of his gay films

Two gay films from the 1970s and 80s, “The Boys in the Band” and “Cruising,” were the work of director William Friedkin, who just died at age 87. The films were groundbreaking but came in for a lot of criticism. “Boys ” was based on the Mart Crowley off-Broadway play. The play and the film were criticized for portraying gay men as dysfunctional and self-loathing. The characters drink excessively, use recreational drugs, and snipe at

each other at a birthday party. The play’s Broadway revival and a 2020 Netflix film have rehabilitated “The Boys”, as many came to understand that, just like HETs, gay men drink, use drugs, and snipe at one another at parties. “Cruising” tells the story of a New York City police officer going undercover in the S&M community to stop a serial killer of gay men. Al Pacino starred as the policeman. One critic wrote that Cruising “promises to be the most oppressive, ugly, bigoted look at homosexuality ever presented on the screen.” Critic Roger Ebert wrote that “the plot structure is a mess.” Time has not been as kind to “Cruising,” as people have come to understand that gay men in the S/M milieu are not inclined to kill one another any more than other groups of American males.

Queen Mother in Calif. Hall of Fame

California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced the induction of José Julio Sarria into the California Hall of Fame. Sarria, who died in 2013, was a gay icon and the first openly gay candidate for public office in the United States, seeking a seat on San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors in 1961. In 1964 he created a non-profit organization called the Imperial Court System, which is now one of the oldest gay and lesbian philanthropic and the largest drag organizations worldwide. In 2019 he was inducted on the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor at the Stonewall National Monument. He performed as “Empress I the Widow Norton” and was named “Queen Mother” by the Imperial

Court system. The Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah in Ogden and the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire in Salt Lake are part of the group Sarria founded.

‘Barbie’ not gay enough, for some

Despite a pink pallet for cinematography and those tight shirts with rolled-up sleeves showing Ryan Gosling’s biceps, the movie, “Barbie,” is just not gay enough. Said one critic, “Barbie is like a drag performance of heterosexuality.” The marketing was directed to gay audiences, and there were many LGBT people in the cast and crew. Some, sight unseen, said, “This movie is going to be gay canon.” But many are now saying the “Barbie” movie has nothing overtly gay about it. Q

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Utah 2nd Congressional District candidates speak on LGBTQ issues

The three Republican candidates vying to replace outgoing Rep. Chris Stewart in Utah’s Second Congressional District were asked to address “LGBTQ+ issues and Utah’s 2nd Congressional District.” All three, Becky Edwards, Bruce Hough, and Celeste Maloy, answered the questions posed by KSL NewsRadio in July:

BECKY EDWARDS

“Our LGBTQ communities are important members of our state, and they are making great contributions. We can do more to make sure that there are opportunities for all members of our state to grow and thrive. Those are focuses that have been important in my time in the House. We can look at some of the work that the state legislature did and the accomplishments we made on non-discrimination in terms of housing and employment. That’s a good model that really reflects the business and the religious community here in the state. I look forward to having more of those kinds of conversations.”

On her website, Edwards states, “Everyone should have a seat at the table. I am committed to expanding opportunity and improving the quality of life for all Utahns, especially those who have historically been left out of the conversation. Race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, and other factors should not limit opportunities or access to education, employment, housing, and healthcare. Together, we can make significant progress toward our nation’s highest ideal of ‘liberty and justice for all’ as we consider steps to expand opportunity and leave a better legacy for the next generation of all Utahns.“

Edwards marched in the Utah

Pride Parade and had a booth at the Utah Pride Festival in 2022 while running for U.S. Senate.

BRUCE HOUGH

“The fundamental point here is that we just have to start with a basis of loving all children of God. So that’s where we start. But that being said, we have to also protect parental rights, the rights of the family. To make sure that those are not abrogated. In terms of federal law, I think that everything that needs to exist

probably exists currently. They can simply be enforced. Everyone should have the right to medical care and housing, and there shouldn’t be discrimination in these areas. But in other areas, we need to make sure that parents have the right to make sure how their children are educated. What they’re taught and how those functions ought to be done. Those are really issues that are local issues and shouldn’t be federally mandated.”

CELESTE MALOY

“I don’t know how many more laws we need. Gay marriage has been legal in this country for seven years. The Respect for Marriage Act says if the Obergefell decision is ever overturned, then the federal government is going to respect marriages that are performed by states. As far as the issue, though, I think everyone’s entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If you’re gay and you believe in smaller government, I welcome you to come work with me on that. At the same time, I also defend the rights of religious people and religious organizations to teach that marriage is between a man and a woman. I think there’s enough freedom to go around. Q

Salt Lake native stabbed and killed in Portland while aiding a transgender coworker

Colin Smith, a 32-year-old Salt Lake native, was killed in Portland as he came to the aid of a transgender coworker.

In the early hours of July 2, Smith and a group of co-workers from The Ox restaurant were outside the High Dive Bar in Portland’s Buckman neighborhood. A hostile encounter unfolded when a young man, identified as Rahnique Jackson, 24, allegedly directed slurs at a transgender colleague and engaged in inappropriate touching. Witnesses recounted that the situation escalated, prompting Smith to intervene in defense of his co-worker.

Booj Whaa House and Pet sitting Smith was stabbed repeatedly by Jackson, who then fled the scene. Police responded swiftly but were unable to save Smith’s life.

Jackson, who had evaded authorities, was eventually captured by U.S. Marshals five days later. He is now facing charges of second-degree murder and unlawful

use of a weapon. The District Attorney’s office is yet to determine whether the stabbing will be classified as a hate crime.

Smith was remembered as a selfless individual who consistently looked out for others. Paulina Solis, Smith’s former girlfriend, said, “He loved those around him unconditionally… He always looked out for the people that got overlooked.”

“He was quick to tell you he loved you, all the time,” said Devin Lee, a fellow Ox server. “That was just Colin; he just loved.”

Mark Knudsen, the general manager at The Ox, recalled how Smith’s compassion was evident from the very first day they met. Smith’s sister, Danielle Smith, reflected on her brother’s legacy, asserting that he died a hero, standing up for what was right. Q

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Colin Smith

Killer of Dennis Gwyther sentenced to 25+ years in prison

In a case that left Utah’s LGBTQ+ community stunned, Jonathan Mendoza Llana, a 49-year-old man from Los Angeles, was sentenced to a minimum of 25 years in the Utah State Prison for his role in a heinous shooting incident that resulted in the death of a community activist and left another injured. The incident occurred on May 22, 2019, as victims Dennis Rowley Gwyther, 50, and a passenger were driving from Salt Lake City to Boise.

Llana, who pleaded guilty and mentally ill to charges of murder, attempted murder, and multiple counts of felony discharge of a firearm as part of a plea deal back in April, appeared before First District Judge Brandon Maynard for sentencing on Tuesday. The court handed down a 15-year-to-life prison term for the murder

charge, a three-year-to-life term for attempted murder, and two separate fiveyear-to-life terms for each count of felony discharge of a firearm. The sentences were to be served consecutively, with the exception of the attempted murder sentence, which would run concurrently.

Gwyther and the passenger were SkyWest flight attendants who were heading to Boise, Idaho to work a flight. On I-84, 24 miles northwest of Tremonton, Utah, a Volkswagen Jetta driven by Llana pulled alongside their vehicle. Without warning, Llana opened fire, unleashing a barrage of shots into Gwyther’s car. The attack claimed the life of Gwyther and injured his passenger. Despite a thorough investigation, authorities struggled to determine any motive behind the senseless act of violence, and there was no indication that road rage or a hate crime had triggered the shooting.

The tragedy resulted in a prolonged legal process, complicated by uncertainty surrounding Llana’s mental state. At

one point, prosecutors in Box Elder County had sought the death penalty for Llana, though this pursuit was later abandoned. Additionally, Llana’s mental competency was called into question, leading to his placement in Utah’s State Hospital for treatment aimed at restoring his competence to stand trial.

Gwyther was very active in Salt Lake’s LGBTQ community for several decades. He often helped with staging and sound at events, including QSaltLake Magazine’s January 11, 2014 Mass Reception held weeks after marriage was declared legal in Utah, and hundreds of couples, including Gwyther and his husband, Matt, ran to the County Clerk’s office to get married. He also provided a mobile stage for a rally held at the Salt Lake City Building after the Orlando Pulse Massacre, knowing that it would rain that day. He’s helped with events for the Utah Bears, the leather community, the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, QSaltLake Magazine, and other groups. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7 september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com • Family Law • Estate Planning • Adoptions • LGBTQ+ Advocacy • Name & Gender Changes Wharton L aw PLLC 165 S Main St. Suite 200 Salt L ake City, UT 84111 whartonlawutah.com
Voted ‘Best Attorney’ by QSaltLake Readers Jonathan Mendoza Llana

people of color. It means our marginalized community members. It means Ogden can stand proud and embrace diversity, something we all absolutely need in our lives,” he continued. “And just as humanity was lost in 2020, the LGBTQ community has been attacked continuously, especially this year. Across the country, over 750 bills were entered into debate. Debate about who I am. Debate about how we live and how we are able to receive care. And our most marginalized community members are youth.”

Ogden City Council, mayor proclaim Pride Week

The Ogden City Council and Mayor Mike Caldwell proclaimed the week of August 1 through 7 as “Pride Week” at Tuesday’s Ogden City Council meeting.

Out city council member Marcia White read the proclamation at the meeting, prefacing her comments with, “When I first ran for council, I didn’t think that there was anybody who would accept me on this dias. I’ve really appreciated the support that not just this group gives the LGBTQ+ members gives our community, but the support the mayor and the administration does, too.”

The proclamation was passed unanimously by the council, followed by a standing ovation. Ogden Pride board members shook the hands of the council members and took a group photo after the vote. Council Chair Angela Choberka noted that the Ogden City signs were lighted with rainbow colors.

we represent a large group of Ogden.”

“Ogden Pride does not just mean the LGBTQ community. It means

A JOINT PROCLAMATION OF THE OGDEN CITY COUNCIL AND MAYOR DECLARING AUGUST 1-7, 2023 “PRIDE WEEK”IN OGDEN CITY

WHEREAS, Ogden City is a vibrant and diverse community that celebrates and values the contributions and experiences of all its residents. Our city remains steadfast in its commitment to fostering a culture of inclusivity, acceptance, and respect for all individuals; and

WHEREAS,The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,Transgender, Queer or Questioning, and other (LGBTQ+) community is an integral part of our diverse society, enriching our cultural, economic, and social landscape.Their invaluable contributions to the arts, education, and social advocacy significantly contribute to the betterment of our community; and

WHEREAS, The origins of Pride celebrations can be traced back to the Stonewall Riots in June 1969, where LGBTQ+ individuals courageously stood up against discrimination and violence, sparking a pivotal moment in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. Despite significant progress, members of the LGBTQ+ community continue to endure discrimination and violence; and

Ogden Pride President Sean Childers-Gray spoke at the meeting about Ogden being a “very diverse city.”

“I stood here five years ago,” ChildersGray started. “Five years ago, we made a proclamation. And in that five years, a lot has changed. In 2019 we had about 5,000 in attendance at the Festival. This year, we are looking at 8,000, and we want to grow because

WHEREAS, Pride Week is an opportunity to acknowledge the history, struggles, and achievements of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as to promote acceptance, equality, and inclusivity for all individuals regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, and WHEREAS, Since its establishment in 2014, Ogden Pride has supported the LGBTQ+ community by working to build and strengthen inclusivity. Through its inclusive events, educational campaigns, and valuable services, Ogden Pride has touched countless lives, defending and protecting basic human rights, such as life, liberty, and freedom from violence and intimidation.

“We protect youth because we give them a safe space to be themselves. We don’t question their identity. We don’t question their sexuality. We just say we have a space where you can be whoever you are, whoever you want to be, and whoever you will become.,” he said. “That’s a value we should embrace as a city. And in all of the festival and the things we have coming up this week coming up, it has been a great pleasure to serve and be a leader of an organization that, in Utah, tends to be looked down on. Nine years in Ogden is just a fraction of the time that the civil rights started for the LGBTQ+ community. But we’re not going anywhere. And we continue to build and thrive, and rely on our relationships with our city officials and our safety officials. And it has been a wonderful, wonderful journey to work and build that, especially with our Ogden Arts group. So we do welcome and invite you to join us for this weekend. As we celebrate for the very first time three days in a row at the Ogden Amphitheater.”

NOW,THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that the Ogden City Council and Mayor Michael P. Caldwell hereby proclaim August 1–7, 2023: “PRIDE WEEK”in Ogden City.We encourage residents, schools, businesses, and community groups to take advantage of Ogden Pride Week as a valuable opportunity to engage in learning, listening, and demonstrating love.We appreciate the significant efforts of Ogden Pride, including organizing and administering the Ogden Pride Festival, which is now entering its ninth year.This year’s Festival will take place August 4th–6th at the Ogden Amphitheater.

PASSED AND ADOPTED this 1st day of August 2023. Angela Choberka, Council Chair, and Michael P. Caldwell, Mayor

Childers-Gray then went through Pride weekend’s activities. Q

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Utah Pride Center lays off 36 percent of its staff

The Utah Pride Center has gone through another round of layoffs, reducing its staff by 36 percent — from 19 to 12 staff members.

Outgoing are Genevieve Stratford, Pride associate coordinator; Jessica Fry, client services and billing manager; Jonathan Foulk, co-CEO; Kimberly Johnston, Pride associate; Poppy Lowder, Pride associate; Rosa Bandeirinha, communications director; and Zeb Williams, special events manager.

With the departure of coCEO Jessica Dummar in November of 2022 and Benjamin Carr this July, Tanya Hawkins is the only co-CEO of the nonprofit organization of the three named in January 2022. Foulk was named a co-CEO in Spring of this year, prior to the Utah Pride Festival, but was included in the layoffs.

Center leadership released a written statement Tuesday night, August 22: “We at the Pride Center acknowledge the disappointment and outrage of the community regarding the instability of our organization. We know how important the Center is to you, and we solemnly apologize for letting you down,” the statement began. “We have recently faced a reduction in workforce and sadly had to let very valuable team members go. This wasn’t an easy decision for anyone involved, but it was based on the massive financial turmoil that the Center is currently facing.”

“Unfortunately, this situation is not new, and our community has witnessed several crises in staffing, financial instability, and precarious leadership at the Center throughout the years,” the statement continued. “Our remaining leadership

team is hopeful and we trust that their hard work to get the Center back into shape will be effective and will generate great future services for Utah’s LGBTQ+ community.”

Leaders cautioned that the Center’s current finances and ongoing negative reputation make the task of addressing the future “monumental.”

“So, we don’t know what is going to happen,” the statement reads. “The Center might close, revive, or reset. And that is why, during the month of September, programs will be suspended, and the Center will be closed for restructuring and reimagining the future of this organization.”

Leaders once again asked the community to “grace us with your trust and give our committed team some time to put a plan in place until October 1.”

“We are dedicated to finding the answers on how to best serve the community going forward. Reimagining the Center is a long overdue task. Our community has changed drastically in the past three decades, the number and diversity of resources, organizations, and services have increased, and the Center needs to reset its mission to stay relevant and supportive.”

Leaders asked for community members to provide input on what the future of the Center should be.

“We value the collective vision of our community and the individual needs and dreams of each of you. Please connect with the Utah Pride Center on social media and sign up to our newsletter to receive our requests for comments coming soon.” Q

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Report: Utah therapist accused of sexually abusing gay patients

Allegations of sexual abuse have emerged in Utah, where a therapist recommended by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is accused of exploiting gay patients, as uncovered in a comprehensive investigation by ProPublica in collaboration with The Salt Lake Tribune

The damning report discloses the troubling accounts of several former members of the Church who claim they were sexually assaulted by a therapist referred to them by the religious institution. Identified as Scott Owen, the therapist allegedly took advantage of the vulnerability of these individuals grappling with their sexual orientation.

The revelations have triggered intense discussions regarding the relationship between religious guidance, mental health support, and the safety of LGBTQ+ individuals within faith-based settings. The victims, once seeking solace within the Church’s teachings, now find themselves as survivors of a deeply distressing ordeal.

Scott Owen is alleged to have violated the trust of his patients, engaging in various forms of sexual abuse and exploitation during therapy sessions that were meant to provide guidance and understanding. The victims, who

had already faced challenges reconciling their sexuality with their faith, experienced further trauma at the hands of the therapist they were urged to consult.

In 2015, one of the survivors, identified by the pseudonym Andrew, confided in his bishop about his homosexuality and was directed by the Church to seek therapy from Owen.

The Church’s official stance acknowledges that same-sex attraction is not sinful, although same-sex marriage remains incompatible with its doctrine.

Owen allegedly subjected Andrew to unwanted sexual advances during their therapy sessions over a five-month period. The therapist’s actions included groping, kissing, and pressuring Andrew to undress.

Utah’s legal framework categorizes sexual touching during therapy as illegal and constitutes “unprofessional conduct.” Such actions can result in the revocation of a professional’s license and other legal consequences.

Andrew’s attempt to seek justice and accountability led him to disclose the abuse to his bishop and Utah’s Division of Professional Licensing. However, his journey through the legal process has been tumultuous. Andrew’s report to the DOPL detailed his feelings of disgust and his determination to avoid returning to the therapist’s office.

In November 2016, the DOPL took action against Owen following an admission that he had engaged in inappropriate behavior, including giving hugs

and “non-sexual” touching. The DOPL issued a public reprimand, but Owen denied the more serious allegations, referring to them as a “concocted story.”

The DOPL’s response has come under scrutiny. The agency claims that it had no knowledge of Owen’s actions for years before disciplinary action was taken. The investigative process revealed conflicting accounts from the victim and the therapist. The subsequent reprimand required Owen to attend an educational session and undergo ethical behavior training.

In 2018, the DOPL received another complaint against Owen, which led to a broader investigation and the revelation of additional victims. Owen eventually surrendered his license, signifying acknowledgment of his alleged misconduct.

ProPublica’s investigation also highlighted accounts from other victims, with Jonathan Scott alleging that his therapy sessions devolved into inappropriate physical contact, including cuddling. The report further revealed that another member of the Church accused Owen of sexual abuse after entering therapy.

Owen eventually surrendered his license after continuing scrutiny.

Victims like Jonathan Scott and Andrew have since distanced themselves from the Church. However, feelings of justice remain elusive for the survivors, emphasizing the need for comprehensive institutional reforms to ensure the safety and well-being of vulnerable individuals seeking support. Q

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
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Logan and St. George host Prides in September

The 2023 LOGAN PRIDE FESTIVAL will take place Saturday, Sept. 9 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Willow Park, 450 W. 700 South in Logan, Utah. “Let Love Grow” is this year’s theme.

“Since 2017, the Logan Pride Foundation has served the Cache Valley community as a non-profit organization dedicated to celebrating diversity while promoting LGBTQIA+ visibility, acceptance, and support in our region. While we host many projects and activities throughout the year, our hallmark event is our annual Pride Festival that occurs each September. This single-day event has notably generated the largest reach and impact in and for our community, and it is only made possible by supporters like you. More information at loganpride.org

PRIDE OF SOUTHERN UTAH’S “PRIDE IN THE PARK”

will take place Saturday, Sept. 30 at Crosby Family Confluence Park, 2099 S Convention Center Dr, St. George.

“Pride in the Park returns for a day of entertainment, food, vendors and activities. Start the morning with a free yoga session, enjoy local entertainment and booths throughout the day, and end the evening with a free concert by Foreign Figures.

Our festival theme for 2023 is “Stories” and our celebration will include an interactive story map for gusts to fill out as they navigate the park.

This is a free all-ages event to celebrate our local LGBTQ+ community alongside our friends, families and allies. Q More info at prideofsouthernutah.org

september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11
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views quotes

“[Lauri Carleton] was shot through the head. For hanging a rainbow flag in front of her shop. Every single person who has spread the groomer libel against lgbt people is complicit in this hate crime”.

—@ wuji_mp3

“[Lauri Carelton] was murdered. It’s absolutely fine to blame Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene and her hate speech.’”

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that Biden let Hurricane Hillary hit California when he could have used a Sharpie to move it out to sea safely?.”

—George Takei

“This industry is taking the wrong lessons. For example, ‘Barbie’ is this massive blockbuster, and the idea is: Make more movies about toys! No. Make more movies by and about women!””

—Randall

“My face is changing, and I love that my face is changing and aging...people think I had a facelift. They’re like, ‘What did she do to her face?’ I’m like, bitch, I’m just aging”

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

That Jason Aldean Song, and the art of weaponizing silence in small-town America

grewIup in a small town in rural Southern Ohio, and like so many LGBTQ+ people, I often feel I escaped from something I can’t quite define but can instantly recognize when I meet people with similar backgrounds. Because while I am from a small town, I’m not sure I was ever of “that same small town,” to quote the OG John Mellencamp small-town song.

Jason Aldean didn’t actually grow up in a small town, though he sang defiantly about leaving one that sucked in his 2018 lament “Rearview Town.” The MAGA darling hit screaming up the charts, “Try That in a Small Town,” written by someone else, doesn’t speak to his personal experience, either, but he’s got the story right, according to the Very Loud People of the Internet. And maybe his screed does get it right, for certain people in certain small towns. But as someone born and raised just outside a town of 850 people, a place where my progressive-minded parents were constantly getting ahead of the things I’d hear in the back of the bus every day, I’m here to tell you he doesn’t get it right for those of us who didn’t align with the “you ain’t from around here” crowd.

My small-town hometown is quaint, quiet and very friendly, as long as you’re not making waves. When I was growing up, you could fly under the radar as long as you kept your mouth shut when good ole boy behavior happened, like the n-word being used liberally behind closed doors or date rape being incredibly common. And maybe that sentiment and those behaviors aren’t exclusive to small towns, but once you’re branded as a slut or a (gasp!) queer person in a small town, your story is written and the consequences are immediate and forever. There’s an irony in how big the megaphone is, the smaller the town.

But I was a good, quiet girl and, for the most part, I went unnoticed, which was fine by me. I’d love to think that if I knew then what I know now, I’d have never

kept my mouth shut when a friend told me her boyfriend, a kid in our Spanish II class, had held her down and raped her in his car after a football game. I’d have delivered some kind of cinematic monologue on race relations and embracing LGBTQ+ people right in the center of the cafeteria (to wild applause, no doubt).

But I did nothing. Essentially, all of us who knew better in that small town did exactly nothing.

So it’s maybe not a surprise that the people dishing out the abuse and the racism and the queer-phobia continue to feel emboldened and that their behaviors have continued devolving and festering into something that feels almost like a parody. And maybe it’s not shocking that these people feel so shocked, themselves, that the wider world out there isn’t buying what they’re selling. It’s shocking to discover, perhaps, that even though all the people around you seem completely fine with your 1950s viewpoints, that much of the rest of the world has woken up to the fact that every person deserves agency, even the ones denigrated for so long and so deeply that it’s become part of the actual culture in some small towns.

What I do know for sure is that my fellow classmate Bobby likely wouldn’t identify with some of these small-town people out here on TikTok, the ones sobbing that the Aldean song proves “someone gets us.” Bobby was sweet, way more stylish than most of us (probably more than most of our county), and he had an instantly recognizable affectation that put him squarely in the crosshairs of our high school bullies. It was nothing to hear him openly called a faggot, including in front of smirking teachers (many of whom grew up there, too). And being gay — even closet-ed but assumed — was about the worst thing you could be in our small town in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. The kids I found out later who were also queer had stayed safely in the closet.

Bobby may have fared better than the one Black kid I recalled joining our school district for less than a year before his family essentially fled in the night. And probably a bit better than the family that had crosses burned in their lawn in the next town over for harboring a teenage daughter who, rumor had it, had dated a Black kid

(“from the city!” no less). But the taunting often turned physical, and as far as I know, Bobby got far away as soon as he could. Lots of us did, and it wasn’t the economy, as much as many conservatives like to claim.

Bad things happen everywhere, but it would be missing a compelling part of the narrative to pretend like what happened to, as one example among many, Matthew Shepard, didn’t happen in rural Wyoming. When he “tried that” (“that” meaning “literally existing as a gay man”) in a townie bar in Cheyenne, they showed him, all right. It’s similar to what happened to Brandon Teena, Billy Jack Gaither, Roxanne Ellis and her partner Michelle Abdill, Army Private First Class Barry Winchell and the list goes on. All targeted for being a part of the LGBTQ+ community over the past few decades in small places where that’s all it took to become a target. No doubt, there were good, quiet people living in those towns, too.

It’s a very bad ’80s movie vibe, this look back. A moment frozen in time that I feel wholly dis-connected from in 2023, mom to two queer children and decades of introspection behind me that make it very clear that had I grown up away from this place, I’d have realized long before I did who I really am, myself.

There’s no room for self-exploration when self-preservation means survival, and that’s what can happen in small towns where the “you ain’t from around here, are you?” mentality goes unchallenged — when all the quiet folks are assumed to be in agreement and who allow their towns to go unchecked for breeding and bleeding hate for the perceived Other.

Aldean isn’t singing about a perceived threat by outsiders who want to take on small-town folks just living peacefully. He’s singing about a threat to a way of life that doesn’t fly in much of the country in 2023 for some very good reasons. This year, we saw a record-breaking number of Pride festivals organized by young adults in small towns in Michigan, often drawing ire from lo-cal officials and residents alike. Perhaps Gen Z isn’t buying what Aldean is selling, either. Maybe this generation will be defined by gathering up the strength to stop being quiet and to shine a spotlight on ugly, long overlooked behavior. Q

guest editorial september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13
Sarah Bricker Hunt, a proud Eastern Michigan University alum and the managing editor for Pride Source/Between The Lines, believes in the power of intentional journalism focused on people building their communities through everyday acts of love and service. Sarah Bricker Hunt

Anti-‘Barbie’ Right-Wingers

Whenmy twin sister and I were in the third grade, a large, wrapped present sat under our grandma’s Christmas tree for at least a week before Christmas. My mom told us that the gift was a vacuum for our grandma and we did not question it. But when Christmas Day arrived, it turned out that the vacuum was actually a Barbie Dreamhouse. A gift for me and my sister… who weren’t exactly Barbie-type girls.

Thankfully this was before everything Barbie became pink or my sister and I might have rejected it outright. I remember the house having a dark orange roof with yellow and white accents.

We also got WWF wrestling figures that Christmas and the Barbie Dreamhouse soon became a club house for Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Greg The Hammer Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

My little sisters played with Barbie dolls and my brother once made a video in high school in which he burned one of these dolls at the stake to the tune of Carmina Burana. It was honestly hilarious, but my little sisters didn’t think so.

It was not hilarious when Ben Shapiro did the same thing to protest Barbie being “woke.” Shapiro was upset that the movie included a transgender character who was “treated normally.”

Shapiro is talking about trans actress Hari Nef who plays one of the Barbies in the film.

Nef sees her inclusion in the film much more positively, as one would expect. “As much as there’s a celebration of femininity and being a girl in [Barbie], I think there’s also an encouragement of letting go of the checklist we ascribe to living and living your life and being in your body your way, on your own terms,” she said to Out magazine.

That’s a pretty beautiful thing, unless you’re a hateful rat like Shapiro, who seemed shocked that people were mad about the burning Barbie video.

“I take, like, a match and I light the

Barbie stuff on fire — and this is apparently terrible,” said Shapiro. “The reaction to me burning a Barbie car with, like, a Barbie and Ken in it, is like the reaction of the Islamic world when someone burns a Quran in Sweden. It’s totally crazy.”

Leave it to Shapiro to include something Islamophobic in his response.

Ted Cruz also had a beef with the movie, claiming that it’s Chinese communist propaganda. Because a cartoonish map shown in the film supposedly shows a depiction of the “nine dash line,” which, on some maps, depicts China’s claims to territory in the South China Sea. However, there are only eight lines on the “Barbie” map and in a very different shape than the typical depiction of the disputed territory.

“I’m not sure this map, which you’d miss if you blinked at the one-minute mark in the third trailer, is admissible in the International Court of Justice. It’s cartoonishly unrealistic,” wrote Toronto Sun columnist Vinay Menon. “Where is continental Europe? New Zealand? What do the sailboats represent? Is that a jester’s crown atop Iceland?”

Cruz remains unconvinced. “China wants to control what Americans see, hear, and ultimately think, and they leverage their massive film markets to coerce American companies into pushing propaganda,” a spokesperson for Cruz told the U.K.’s Daily Mail Wild if true (it isn’t true).

Another person upset is Ginger Gaetz, wife of U.S. Representative and accused sex offender Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), who tweeted photos of herself and her husband posing together in front of a Barbie backdrop at a Barbie themed pre-party along with the message, “The Barbie I grew up with was a represen-

tation of limitless possibilities, embracing diverse careers and feminine empowerment. The 2023 Barbie movie, unfortunately, neglects to address any notion of faith or family, and tries to normalize the idea that men and women can’t collaborate positively (yuck).”

You know, like how Matt Gaetz positively collaborates with women when he tweets stuff like, “How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”

Feminist icon, that guy.

Ginger Gaetz also complained about “Disappointingly low T from Ken,” the T being “testosterone.” In other words, Ken, a doll who has no private parts, didn’t have enough big dick energy for her tastes. And given who she’s married to, her taste is very, very bad.

I haven’t seen it. My wife said she’d like to see it “a little bit” and our 14-year-old son shrugged and said, “maybe.” I felt the same.

But now that I’ve learned that “Barbie” has triggered so many extremist conservatives, I’m more motivated to see the damn thing. Because I love to make right-wingers mad.

So get in, losers. We’re going to see “Barbie.” I mean, eventually. Probably. Q

creep of the month Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.
PHOTO COURTESY OF WARNER BROS

We Help You Help.

When you help care for a loved one, you take care of ever y thing . But are you taking care of yourself?

AARP can help with information and useful tips on how you can maintain a healthy life balance, care for your own physical and mental well-being, and manage the challenges of caring for a loved one. Because the bet ter care you take of yourself, the bet ter care you can provide for your loved one. You’re there for them. We’re here for you.

Find free Care Guides to suppor t you and your loved one at AARP.org /caregiving

QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE 15
QSaltLake Magazine
Invited by

who’s your daddy

I’mincredibly fortunate to have a family that was always accepting of who I am and whom I love. My relationship with my husband was always treated as equal to everyone else’s and never something to be embarrassed by or to hide. My brothers and their wives never used any euphemisms for Kelly with their kids. He was never my “friend” or my “roommate.” He was always Uncle Kelly. And for my nieces’ and nephews’ own kids, who are in the same age group as our boys, having cousins with two dads is perfectly normal. In fact, when they were toddlers, my great nephew Jaxon turned to Niko and said, “You have two dads? Good job!” and high fives flew all around.

But two-uncle families with kids are not the norm. It was only after they were much older that we discovered an amusing number of our sons’ friends thought Kelly and I were brothers. That’s icky on a lot of levels.

So, how should LGBTQ+ parents explain to their kids’ friends the nature of the adults’ relationship?

On the one hand, you definitely don’t want to lie about the situation. Saying you’re “friends” sends two messages to your own kids. First, it will be immediately recognized by them as a fib.

Research published in Science Daily showed that parents who tout honesty to their children but then lie themselves can “erode trust and promote dishonesty in children.”

Secondly, the researchers argue, it sends conflicting messages. If you’re proud of your family, why would you lie about it? Is the makeup of your family something that the kids should be ashamed of?

On the other hand, you also don’t want to overstep your boundaries with someone else’s children. There are plenty of topics only a child’s parent should tackle, which allows them to frame the situation within their own moral and value structure. But they need to be prepared for those conversations.

It’s always a good idea for parents to introduce themselves to each other before the kids start hanging out at each other’s homes, of course. But in the case of LGBTQ+ parents, it’s an opportunity to ensure there are no surprises when it comes to just who is a part of your family.

Abbie Goldberg, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and the director of women’s and gender studies at Clark University, and the author of several books on LGBTQ+ parenting, says, “It might be appropriate for parents of kids of all ages to have a simple and friendly conversation with their kids’ friends’ parents that clearly delineates the family structure.”

Of course, the way you discuss your family dynamics is going to vary depending on the friend’s age. When the boys were much younger, we discovered their friends were simply curious why there wasn’t a mom around. And we explained it, in the same manner, Dr. Goldberg advises, “For young children, I suggest parents explain to kids’ peers that there are different types of families and couples, and some families have a mom and a dad, others have one mom, two dads, etc.”

I would also add that you should mention to these parents what their child asked and how you responded. That prevents them from being blindsided and opens the door for them to discuss it further with their child.

Interestingly, as the boys grew older, living in a two-dad family lent them cool creds. Apparently, it’s incredibly “sick” to have gay dads. And all the 16-yearolds mean that in the best way possible — I guess it’s a more mature way to say, “You have two dads? Good job!” Q

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
Two dads, good job!
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RirieWoodbury Dance Company kicks off 60th seasonanniversary with retrospective show

FALL ARTS GUIDE

There are so many great arts offerings happening this Fall that we couldn’t possibly fit them all. Here are some of our favorites

Ririe-Woodbury

Dance Company marks its 60th anniversary with a retrospective season opener.

“GROUNDWORKS” is a celebration of dance that pays homage to the company’s visionary co-founders, Shirley Ririe and Joan Woodbury.

Part of the show is the aptly named “Then and Now,” a tribute that will showcase the artistry of today’s talented dancers, who will bring to life reconstructed excerpts of over 200 productions from RWDC’s extensive repertoire, complemented by archival footage of the original performers. Included are Joan Woodbury’s whimsical “L’ invasion” (1991) and Shirley Ririe’s uplifting “Banners of Freedom” (1990).

GROUNDWORKS will also pay homage to Alwin Nikolais, renowned as the father of multimedia in dance, bringing his work to the stage after a hiatus since 2016. Nikolais’ choreography played a pivotal role in the formation of Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company with his artistic philosophies and spirit of experimentation.

“Alwin Nikolais’ choreography gives our contemporary repertory an important historical context,” said Daniel Char-

on, Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company’s artistic director. “It represents an integral chapter in the evolution of modern dance where Nikolais was creating breathtaking, groundbreaking, never-been done before work. He was the first choreographer to fuse dance with a variety of innovative multimedia elements as a means to create a unique theatrical experience. These visually stunning explorations still inspire today’s choreographers. Nikolais remains an inspiration whose sense of exploration and curiosity continually reminds us of the power of the imagination and our ability to innovate.”

The tribute to Nikolais includes his iconic piece “Liturgies” (1983), which explores themes of faith and fervor through a mesmerizing blend of lighting, projections, music, costumes, and movement.

Charon brings his own creation “On Being” (2021) to the stage, taking audiences on a profound journey of healing and introspection. This elegant piece reflects the interconnectedness of the community, a theme that resonates deeply after a year of social distancing.

The show takes place at the Jeanne Wagner Theater in the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center on September 21, 22, and 23. For more information and tickets, visit www.ririewoodbury.com.

JRC Events & Sequoia

Full Set 2023 Queer Arts Festival

September 13–16

Full Set is a Salt Lake City-based queer arts festival brought to you by JRC Events and Sequoia, presenting The Crown Jewels — a ‘full set’ of some of the finest drag artists and queer performers from Utah, each themed after a different precious gem.

Sept. 13 — COMEDY GOLD hosted By: Daniel Spencer with standup performances by Brandon Medina Cruz, Hollie Jay, and Sam D’Antuono. This event is free, held at Blue Gene’s 239 S 500 East. 21+

Sept. 14 — OPALESCENT hosted by Mari Cona and Jenna Tea. Performances by Mitski Avalox, Schade the Queen, Rose, Sky Faux, Lanie Bryant, and Lexi Gold. Food from Thotty Treats. Doors at 6, show at 7 at Kilby Court, 741 S Kilby Court. All ages.

Sept. 14 — AMETHYST PRISM hosted by Kay Bye with performances from

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Rachael Jenkins, Agony Ray, Nancy Raygun, Willie Touchya, Trix R Treat, Divina 2.0, and Lexis Monroig. Pop-up shop Queerations. Doors at 8, show at 9:30 at Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South. 21+

Sept. 15 — EMERALD ENVY FEA-

TURING WILLAM . Hosted by Gaye. Special guests Marrlo Suzzanne, M’Lady Wood, Jaliah J. Jackson, Lady Facade, Izzy Lovely, Sophia Azul. Beats by DJ Sheāde. Doors at 9, meet & greet at 9:30. First set at 11, second set at midnight. Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 21+

Sept. 16 — RUBY RED, hosted by Sequoia, with performances from Miz Diamond Wigfall, King Cyborg, Darcey Willey, Cherry Poppins, and Tequila Rose. Food truck onsite. Doors at 6, show at 7, at Blue Gene’s, 239 S 500 East. 21+

Sept. 16 — DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH , hosted by Sequoia and Kory Edgewood, with performances by Andre-MarQuis Mitchell, Miz Diamond Wigfall, Icky Rogers, Gia Bianca Stephens, Shelley Dissolve, Jax Creative, Ellissdee, Jul McQueen Stephens, Ms. Meredith, LaLa Sing, Lady Dy, and beats by DJ Sheāde. Doors at 9, show at 10 at Urban Lounge, 241 S 500 East, 21+ Tickets are available at jrcslc.com

PYGmalion Theatre

‘The

November 3–18

Playwright Lauren Gunderson’s play, “The Half-Life of Marie Curie,” tells of the true story of Marie Curie and her relationship with Hertha Ayrton. Curie was the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize in Physics in 1903 and is the only woman who received a second Nobel Prize in a different field, Chemistry in 1911. Hertha was an electromechanical engineer and suffragette. Both women were widows,

mothers of girls, and scientists who had a passion for finding the “proof.”

The play is a testament to women. Curie, a Polish immigrant to France, has an affair with a married fellow scientist six years after her husband died. She is scandalized by the press to the point she questions her self-worth and becomes nearly suicidal. English friend Ayrton goes to France to implore her to spend the summer in England at her seaside cottage.

The play focuses on this summer where Marie and Hertha share their pain, their loves, and their passions. Their relationship is powerful and meaningful. Insightful quotes in the play include, “Love wounds us,” “Sometimes love is protest,” and “We love our lovers, and we adore our children, but our life’s passion is proof.”

“Half Life Marie Curie” by Lauren Gunderson opens November 3–18 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center Black Box featuring April Fossen and Stephanie Howell. Fran Pruyn directing. Tickets will be available through arttix.org

Pioneer Theatre Company

Agatha Christie’s ‘Murder on the Orient Express’

September 22 – October 7

PTC kicks off its 62nd season with the spellbinding excitement and intrigue of one of Agatha Christie’s greatest whodunit, adapted for the stage by Tony Award-winning Ken Ludwig. Just after midnight, a snowdrift stops the Orient Express in its tracks. The luxurious train is surprisingly full for the time of the year, but by the morning, it is one passenger fewer. An American tycoon lies dead in his compartment, stabbed eight times, his door locked from the inside. Isolated, and with a killer in their midst, the passengers rely on detective Hercule

Poirot to identify the murderer — in case they decide to strike again. BroadwayWorld calls Ludwig’s adaptation “A love letter to the original material, with a swift-moving script … Everything you could want – broadly drawn characters, exotic settings, and a spectacular murder with no shortage of suspects.”

Richard O’Brien’s ‘The Rocky Horror Show’

October 20–31

Pioneer Theatre Company’s favorite way to celebrate Halloween. A groundbreaking cult musical and beloved glam rock tribute to B-horror films, “The Rocky Horror Show” returns with some of the most iconic characters in musical theatre history: squares Brad and Janet, mad scientist Dr. Frank N. Furter, his “monster,” and, of course, a swath of drive-in usherettes and creepy sidekicks. Celebrating the landmark musical’s 50th anniversary. Let’s all do the time warp again!

‘Christmas in Connecticut’

December 1–16

From the bucolic paradise of her Connecticut farm, famed Smart Housekeeping columnist Liz Lane dishes out advice on marriage, cooking, and homemaking to eager housewives across the country. There are just a few small details of which her readers aren’t aware: Liz actually lives in a tiny New York City apartment, she has never been married, and she can’t cook. When a beloved war hero who is a fan of the columnist is invited by Liz’s publisher to Christmas on the nonexistent farm, a musical comedy of errors ensues.

With lyrics by Jonathan Larson Award recipient Amanda Yesnowitz, music by Grammy Award winner Jason Howland (composer of Paradise Square and Little Women — not to mention a PTC alum as musical supervisor/orchestrator on the world premiere of “Shucked”), and a book by Emmy Award winner Patrick Pacheco and celebrated entertainment journalist Erik Forrest Jackson, this new musical adaptation of the classic 1945 Warner Brothers film had its debut in 2022 at Goodspeed Musicals in Connecticut (naturally). “Christmas in Connecticut” is destined to become a new yuletide tradition, and PTC audiences will get to experience the only produc-

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Half-Life of Marie Curie’

tion in the nation this holiday season. Pioneer Theatre Co., 300 S. University St., tickets.pioneertheatre.org or 801-581-6961.

Plan-B Theatre Company

‘Radio Hour Episode

17: Sherlock Holmes & The Final Problem’

Friday, October 27, 11 a.m. and 7 p.m.

You are the live studio audience (both performances are live broadcasts) of RADIO HOUR on KUER’s RadioWest for the first time in a decade as Doug Fabrizio returns to the role of Sherlock Holmes that he first played in 2012 in “Radio Hour Episode 7: Sherlock Holmes & The Blue Carbuncle.”

What if Dr. Watson was a woman and Sherlock Holmes wasn’t always right? On the run from Moriarty, the keenest criminal mind they’ve ever faced, Holmes is unsure of his powers, and Watson is unsure of him. Jeanne Wagner Theatre, tickets at my.arttix.org/31639

year, they will produce the play “Art and Class” by local favorite Matthew Ivan Bennett. The play is a timely take on what happens when we try to control what our students see, think, and feel, especially when it comes to art. Regent Street Black Box, 144 Regent Street, tickets at my.arttix.org/31629

Ziegfeld Theater

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

September 1–23

Wasatch Theatre Company

Art and Class

September 7–11

The Page-to-Stage Festival is an annual WTC tradition going back almost as long as the organization itself. This

Based on the Victor Hugo novel and songs from the Disney animated feature, The Hunchback of Notre Dame showcases the film’s Academy Award-nominated score, as well as new songs by Menken and Schwartz. Peter Parnell’s new book embraces story theatre and features verbatim passages from Hugo’s gothic novel. The musical begins as the bells of Notre Dame sound through the famed cathedral in fifteenth-century Paris. Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer who longs to be “Out There,” observes all of Paris reveling in the Feast of Fools. Held captive by his devious caretaker, the archdeacon Dom Claude Frollo, he escapes for the day and joins the boisterous crowd, only to be treated cruelly by all but the beautiful Romani woman, Esmeralda. Quasimodo isn’t the only one captivated by her free spirit, though – the handsome Captain Phoebus and Frollo are equally enthralled. As the three vie for her attention, Frollo embarks on a mission to destroy the Roma – and it’s up to Quasimodo to save them all.

3934 S Washington Blvd., Ogden, Utah. Tickets at ZigArts.com

Young Frankenstein

October 6–28

Comedy genius, Mel Brooks, adapts his legendarily funny film into a brilliant stage creation – Young Frankenstein.

Grandson of the infamous Victor Frankenstein, Frederick Frankenstein (pronounced “Fronk-en-steen”) inherits his family’s estate in Transylvania. With the help of a hunchbacked sidekick, Igor (pronounced “Eye-gore”), and a leggy lab assistant, Inga (pronounced normally), Frederick finds himself in the mad scientist shoes of his ancestors. “It’s alive!” he exclaims as he brings to life a creature to rival his grandfather’s. Eventually, of course, the monster escapes and hilarity continuously abounds.

3934 S Washington Blvd., Ogden, Utah. Tickets at ZigArts.com

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, the Musical

December 1–23

Veterans Bob Wallace and Phil Davis have a successful song-and-dance act after World War II. With romance in mind, the two follow a duo of beautiful singing sisters en route to their Christmas show at a Vermont lodge, which just happens to be owned by Bob and Phil’s former army commander. With a dazzling score featuring well-known standards, including “Blue Skies,” “I Love A Piano,” “How Deep Is the Ocean” and the perennial title song, White Christmas is an uplifting musical worthy of year-round productions.

3934 S Washington Blvd., Ogden, Utah. Tickets at ZigArts.com

Ballet West Dracula

October 20–28

Mysterious and spooky, powerful and dramatic with flying vampires and pyrotechnics! The dark and brooding Dracula surrounded by his corps of brides and hungering for more blood, this ballet sinks its teeth into intricate choreography as the dark tale unfolds, set to the ominous music of Franz Liszt.

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Come see why this ballet version of Dracula is becoming a Utah favorite.

Firebird

November 3–11

The tale of a powerful, mystical bird, a wistful dream for humanity, and a joyful expression of American pride. These three works celebrate the 60th anniversary of Ballet West’s artistry with magic, creativity, plus pomp and circumstance. An original piece choreographed by Ballet West’s founder, Willam Christensen, Firebird, is based on the folktale of a magical, flaming bird set to the sweeping and colorful score by Igor Stravinsky. Fever Dream by newly-retired and long-term company artist Joshua Whitehead immerses the audience into a dream-like world. The quintessential Balanchine Stars and Stripes shows off pure showmanship and creative genius. You’ll be tapping your toes to the music of John Phillip Sousa, often referred to as “The American March King.”

The Nutcracker

December 8–27

America’s first Nutcracker returns. Last year, more than 42,000 attended the hottest ticket in town. Hailed as the first and longest-running in America, Ballet West’s production of “The Nutcracker” has been recognized by Gov. Spencer J. Cox as a national treasure that should be celebrated by locals and tourists alike. Experience a true legacy that brings families and friends back year after year. Capitol Theatre, tickets at boxoffice.balletwest.org

Misc. Shows

Comedians McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon host this raunchy and hilarious queer show that will have your body rocking with laughter and sexual tension. Goodwin has been described as the “Norah Jones of comedy” due to her low energy, soft voice, and repertoire of material that slaps HARD. Yes, she’s gay… stop asking. Scanlon has performed all over the country and legend has it, is the best comedian to ever live. Tickets at WiseGuysComedy.com

Out of the Shadows Theater Group — The Rocky Horror Picture Show with a live performance by The Latter Day Transvestites

September 21–23

Is everyone ready to Time Warp again? In conjunction with FanX Salt Lake, at. The preshow festivities and fun for each show begin at 7:30pm, seating begins at 7pm. Line up at least 30 minutes early to get a good seat and in-line entertainment. Tickets are $25 and include a Transylvanian Pack, aka Tranny Pack, with a squirt gun, newspaper, noisemakers, rubber glove, party hat, balloon, and cards (no outside props that are food-related or messy will be allowed).

8pm at the Alliance Theater in historic Trolley Square, Tickets at showclix.com/ event/rocky-horror-at-alliance-theater-2023

Draper Historic Theatre — Sister Act

September 8-25

Wiseguys Comedy Club

— Two Dykes & a Mic

September 10

“Two Dykes and a Mic” is a weekly comedy podcast and touring live show.

Sister Act is the feel-good musical comedy smash based on the hit 1992 film that has audiences jumping to their feet. Featuring original music by Tony and Oscar winner Alan Menken. When disco diva, Deloris Van Cartier, witnesses a murder, she is put in protective custody in the one place the cops are sure she won’t be found: a convent. Disguised as a

nun, she finds herself at odds with both the rigid lifestyle and uptight Mother Superior. Using her unique disco moves and singing talent to inspire the choir, Deloris breathes new life into the church and community but, in doing so, blows her cover. Soon, the gang is giving chase, only to find them up against Deloris and the power of her newly found sisterhood. Tickets at draperhistorictheatre.org

Gina Bachauer

Celebrating their 48th anniversary season, four renowned pianists will present favorites of the classical piano literature, with music of Chopin, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, and Liszt all taking prominence.

ARISTO SHAM will perform September 20–29. The 2018 Bachauer

Silver Medalist offers a program full of passionate expression and virtuosity with Beethoven’s Waldstein Sonata, Handel’s Harmonious Blacksmith, and Ravel’s complete Gaspard de la nuit.

JOSÉ RAMÓN MENDEZ will perform November 10. Acclaimed as “the Spanish pianist of his generation,” José Ramón Méndez makes his Bachauer debut in a concert of evocative lyricism showcasing the music of Chopin and famed Spanish composers Albéniz and Granados. Both performances are at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center and begin at 7:30 p.m. Tickets through bachauer.com

Salt Lake Men’s Choir — Annual Christmas Concert

December 8–10

Utah’s Other Choir is still accepting new singers who want to join the 40th annual Christmas Concert at First Baptist Church. A “family” tradition, this concert is promising old favorites, soon-to-be new favorites, and the ability to finally get into the holiday mood. Tickets will be available at saltlakemenschoir. org and at the door. Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday at 4 p.m. Q

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Plan-B,s SQUEAK gets inside a brain that works differently

formation at them to memorize. It was a place where Oliver could just play while learning from both teachers and peers. And for two years, that worked great. The combination of the hard work of his wonderful teachers and what we were doing at home helped Oliver progress. He was able to better communicate and was learning how to interact with others.

But once he entered kindergarten, things got more diffcult. He couldn’t sit and focus on a task for longer than two minutes. (That’s not an exaggeration.) The principal observed him on several occasions. Each time, over the course of three hours, she would time him to see how long it would take before he would abandon his task, stand up, and run around the classroom. Or start talking to (pestering) another child. Or leave the classroom to wander the halls.

IfI were

to share all the ideas I listed when I was commissioned to write for Plan-B Theatre’s Free Elementary School Tour, you would see everything from dealing with thoughts and ideas that were different from those of your parents, to having same-sex parents, to navigating life as a foster kid, to escaping into imagination when things get rough, to understanding why some of our wishes don’t come true, to growing up deaf … and that’s just a sampling. Ultimately (inevitably?) I landed on a play about my oldest child.

SQUEAK is the story of what I think it’s like inside his brain, the diffculties he has within himself and his interactions with others, and how to better serve his neurodivergence.

Oliver was born with methamphetamines and other drugs in his system.

He was placed with me and my husband, Doug, as a newborn. We knew he was likely to have some sort of developmental issue, be it mental or emotional. Because meth is such a new drug, there’s not much information on how it affects developing babies while in utero. The consensus from our doctors was that we might see delays in his formative years, when he hits puberty, or both.

We started testing Oliver as soon as he was old enough. Professionals met with us in our home to test his motor skills (fairly advanced) and cognitive skills (fairly behind). “Okay! We knew this was a possibility; let’s proceed with a plan that will help him as best we can.” And so began our search for help.

We found a Montessori school with a mantra of fostering a love of learning for every child rather than throwing in-

Two minutes.

Needless to say, it was frustrating for everyone involved. Oliver was labeled “challenging” by his teachers and “annoying” by his peers. All because of something out of his control. It was heartbreaking. He didn’t understand why he wasn’t liked, why the other kids didn’t want to play with him, why the teachers couldn’t just work with him the entire day. He was great one-on-one, but without someone dedicated to guiding him, his mind would wander, his focus would waver, and he wouldn’t be able to get back to center. Then his emotions would spiral. If he wasn’t allowed to play with a specific something or someone, he would become a crying mess, have a meltdown, and require quite a bit of attention to calm down.

It was no surprise when his school

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PHOTO BY IZZY ARRIETA
Oliver was born with methamphetamines and other drugs in his system. He was placed with me and my husband, Doug, as a newborn.

asked us to pull him out until we figured out a way to help him be less distracting in class.

Did I cry when they told us that? Of course, I did.

Did I cry on his last day? Of course, I did.

Did I also make sure he didn’t see me crying and pretend that everything was fine and it was just the last day of school for everyone? Of course, I did.

The following week was his first therapy session at a local agency serving neurodiverse children. Which was both disappointing and validating. Their approach with Oliver was pretty much what we were already doing, including breathing exercises involving physical touch to bring him back to center when overstimulated or melting down. It took Oliver a while to warm up to and feel comfortable with his therapist. But after three sessions, she was able to get a sense of what Oliver is like on a daily basis, and confessed that she wasn’t sure how to help us.

A children’s neurodiversity therapist was unsure what to do to help our child. You can imagine our reaction.

Next up was an appointment with his pediatrician to try and get him on meds for his newly diagnosed ADHD. Because he was only five, and because they don’t usually prescribe ADHD meds for kids that young, Oliver received the lowest dose possible. And the result has been incredible.

He can focus, stay on task, have a full-on conversation, and be himself instead of a puppet to the chaos going on in his brain.

But we are lucky. Now that we have a full diagnosis, we have the means to get Oliver the help he needs. We can afford the medication, we have insurance, we have a support system in place.

What happens to the kids whose families don’t have that? Families can’t get the help?

Neurodivergence is much more common than people realize.

I hope SQUEAK will help students and teachers realize that “that kid” in their class who needs constant attention,

can’t sit down, can’t focus, who seems annoying and pestering, is probably not acting that way on purpose. Chances are they can’t control it.

I get it. I live with my kid 24/7. I know how frustrating he can be, I know how draining he can be, and I’ve lost my cool more times than I can count.

As frustrating as it is, we can’t control what “that kid” does. But we can control how we react. Dismissing “that kid” serves no one.

My hope is that students, teachers, administrators,

and parents — anyone and everyone who watches SQUEAK — will come away with a little more patience and a lot more understanding of what goes on inside the minds of kids whose brains work a little differently.

Kids like my Oliver who, by the way, graduated from kindergarten at a different school last spring. Q

SQUEAK by Tito Livas receives its world premiere as Plan-B Theatre’s Free Elementary School Tour, serving K-3 students statewide September 2023-May 2024.Details on public performances and how to bring SQUEAK to your school at planbtheatre.org/squeak

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Theatre 138: Salt Lake’s first ‘alternative’ theater

isTherea fair share of us doing alternative theater in Salt Lake City these days — and a lot of us are queer; but in the ’60s and the ’70s, and for most of the ’80s, there was only Ariel Baliff, Stu Falconer, and Tom Carlin fighting the good fight.

Ariel, Stu, and Tom were three gay men who started Theatre 138 in a historic church building at 138 S. 200 East. Theatre 138 was the first intimate, “alternative” theater company in the Salt Lake Valley. From 1966 to 1989, they produced more than 300 shows — 60 of which were premieres of new scripts.

gigs, and Tom became a radio personality on AM radio.

In 1967, they opened Theatre 138 with an original play, This is the Place? Ariel was the artistic director and resident set and costume designer. Stu was the technical and production manager. He acted in many of the shows, as well as being the master carpenter and general handy-guy. The running joke was that Stu had to fix the wiring between act breaks. Tom was the administrative arm of the company, handling everything from ticket sales to PR.

Theatre 138 did the classics like Hay Fever and Long Day’s Journey into Night. They did musicals like The Fantasticks and “feel-good shows” like A Thousand Clowns, On Golden Pond, and 84 Charing Cross Road

seriously worried about bomb threats.

As Is was the last show at Theatre 138. Mountain Fuel Supply bought the building, tore it down, and put up a parking lot. After that, Theatre 138 and Walk-Ons produced theater together at the Center Stage on Highland Drive for two years until that building, too, was sold, and both companies dissolved.

At the time, Ariel Ballif said, “We’re past the age of the full-time, 12-showsa-year routine. But, we’re certainly not going to retire from the business because it’s too much a part of our lives.”

Stories of how the three met and formed an alliance are apocryphal. What is certain is that Tom served in World War II, that there was a family connection between Stu and Tom, and that Ariel most certainly was Stu’s partner of four decades.

Ariel had Utah roots but a national reputation. After graduating from BYU and Yale, he taught design from 1957-62 at the Yale School of Drama. He designed for Yale Resident Theatre, national stock companies, and early television productions. In the ’50s, Ariel, Stu, and Tom opened a small dinner theater in Richmond, Va., called The Renaissance.

In 1962, Ballet West founder William Christensen talked Ariel into returning to Utah and holding a teaching position at the University of Utah. The three moved to Salt Lake City. While Ariel taught at the U of U, Stu landed acting

More importantly, they took risks on plays that mainstream theaters couldn’t or wouldn’t touch. Theatre 138 produced works by Tennessee Williams and Edward Albee that were edgy and esoteric. They also produced new plays by Utah authors, including scripts about unusual topics, like art therapy.

They staged very bawdy productions of Chicago and Sweeney Todd. They produced Carnival with an interracial cast and did Sticks and Bones — a dark comedy about a blind Vietnam War veteran. They produced Equus, complete with nudity, and, according to Jim Dabakis, “they were sure they would be shut down.”

Theatre 138 mounted The Boys in the Band to sold-out crowds. In 1987, Ariel, Tom, and Stu joined forces with Walk-Ons Theatre Company, a nomadic company produced by a young David Spencer and Jayne Luke. At Theatre 138, Walk-Ons staged As Is at the height of the AIDS epidemic. As Is, by William Hoffman, is a surprisingly funny and graphic play that is sympathetic to people living with AIDS. Cast members were

Stu continued to act sporadically. It was rumored that Ariel had been asked to leave the University of Utah because of his sexuality, but he continued to design for Pioneer Theatre Company. His last works were designs for PTC’s ’93 production of O Pioneers and a “new Nutcracker” for Ballet West.

Stu Falconer died of cancer in 1993, a few days after being diagnosed. Ariel’s health deteriorated after Stu’s death, and he died in 1994 of a heart attack four days before receiving the Madeleine Award for Distinguished Service to the Arts and Humanities. Tom Carlin passed away in the Veteran’s Hospital in April 2000 after an extended illness.

Actors at Theatre 138 received $7.50 a week for hosiery and gas. The company’s alums include veterans Gene Pack, Margaret Crowell, Anne Cullimore Decker, Joan Erbin, Tony Larimer, and young upstarts Anne Stuart Mark and James Morrison.

“I was so pleased to work at Theatre 138,” said Vicki Pugmire. “I thought I had made it to Broadway.” Q

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Fran Pruyn has been in active in the Salt Lake theatre community for over 30 years. As such, she has done projects here and there and everywhere. She is the artistic director of Pygmalion Theatre and has directed many plays and produced many more.
Leaders have always known that art and literature have more power to change hearts and minds than political activism, and therefore they must be very, very dangerous.
Ariel Baliff, Tom Carlin, Stewart Falconer

LoveLoud 2023 Tour will be in SLC, DC, Austin

The LoveLoud Festival returns to Salt Lake City for its fifth show dedicated to supporting LGBTQ+ youth and teens. This year, the festival is hitting the road, expanding its reach beyond Utah.

The LoveLoud Founda-

tion announced the festival will take place at the Delta Center on Friday, November 3, with the theme, “Unite the World through Music.” Artists currently named include Lauv, Mother Mother, Tegan & Sara,

Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons, and Tyler Glenn.

According to their official Twitter account, festival organizers revealed plans for a “LoveLoud Tour,” with stops in Washington, D.C., on October 17 and Austin, Texas, on November 10.

Founded in 2017 by Dan Reynolds, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons, LoveLoud was initially created to demonstrate support and solidarity for LGBTQ+ youth in Utah. Over the years, the event has evolved into a day-long celebration featuring musical performances, LGBTQ+ speakers, and inclusive booths, fostering an atmosphere of

acceptance and community.

The inaugural LoveLoud Festival took place in 2017 at the Brent Brown Ballpark in Orem. It then moved to Salt Lake City’s University of Utah Rice-Eccles Stadium in 2018, followed by the USANA Amphitheatre in 2019. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the event was put on hold in 2020 and 2021.

Making a comeback in 2022 at Vivint Arena, LoveLoud featured performances by Dan Reynolds and artists from Utah’s LGBTQ+ community, including former “American Idol” runner-up David Archuleta. Q

LoveLoudFest.com.

DARKNESS DESCENDS

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BACHAUER SILVER MEDALIST ARISTO SHAM PERFORMS RAVEL’S PIANO MASTERPIECE GASPARD DE LA NUIT WWW.BACHAUER.COM BACHAUER CONCERT SERIES 23⁄24 SESSION 120 AT THE ROSE SEP 29 7:30 PM “Clarity, elegance, and abundant technique” – THE NEW YORK TIMES CMY BCS120-QSaltLakeMagazineAd-HalfPage copy.pdf 1 8/22/23 9:02 AM
The show is presented by Live Nation, with tickets on sale through

Rock & Doris

ACROSS

1 Dumbo’s “wings”

5 It may be rough

10 Sweet spot

14 Respond on one’s knees

15 What to scan in poetry

16 Architecture, to Philip Johnson

17 1964 movie of Rock & Doris

20 Yoko of “Double Fantasy”

21 Harley Quinn and Batgirl

22 U-turn from NNW

23 Bruce Wayne kept his Dick in one

25 Ethnic suffix

26 Emulated Neil Patrick Harris

28 Win ___ nose

30 Where the Dutch girl stuck her finger?

32 With 35-Across, 1959 movie of Rock & Doris

35 See 32-Across

37 Cheese from Gide’s country

39 You might pick one up in an alley

41 “West ___ Story”

44 Animated dog

45 It can make hair straight

47 No to Rimbaud

48 Fictional Italian town

50 “Barney Miller” actor Jack

51 Erect

53 Most likely to use a condom

55 Red Guard members

57 1961 movie of Rock & Doris

60 Wang in fashion

61 Oral performances

62 Part of an old Madonna bra

64 Steamed up

65 Italian sauce

66 Apple that isn’t a fruit

67 Culture Club’s “___ Miracle”

68 Check for electronic bugs

69 Anderson Cooper’s area

DOWN

1 Race site in Auden’s land

2 Gladiator area

3 Was excessive with the mouth

4 “Providence” lead role

5 Some Feds

6 Poet Vivien

7 Water molecule threesome

8 Flew in the face of

9 Gardner of mystery

10 Left in the field

11 “___ my case!” (Perry Mason close)

12 What Shakespeare wrote in

13 Made less difficult to bear

18 Streep of “Silkwood”

19 Port in the land of samurai

24 Off-Broadway prize

27 Disney frames

29 Errol Flynn’s “The Sun ___ Rises”

31 Agenda listing

32 Dress namesakes of an opera ship

33 Picks out, with “for”

34 Home of the Baylor Bears

36 Part of a TV archive

37 They’re tops on the beach

38 “The enemy will soon come upon us!”

40 Rose to Dorothy, on “Golden Girls”

42 Non-S&M “Beats me”

43 They may be split

45 Part of a vacuum that sucks

46 It may be removed in SRS

49 Burning Man state

52 Vitamin B acid

54 Cops flirting in a tearoom

56 Fable fellow

58 Your first mate, and others

59 River to the Seine

60 Caesar’s lucky number?

63 Playwright Albee and others, for short

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS
SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 29
PUZZLE
september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27
5 8 6 9 1 3 8 3 2 4 5 2 7 4 8 3 3 6 2 7 7 6 6 8 5 5 3 9 7 4 8 1 1 4 3 6 8 8 8 7 3 5 7 2 6 8 6 2 5 6 1 9 4 4 9 5 1 5 6 9 9 4 8 6 3 1 5 9 3 5 2 2 4 4 3 4 8 1 3 8 5 9 5 3 5 3 5 7 8 4 5 2 4 1 6 7 2 9 6 6 4 7 5 3 3 2 9 2 5 7 8 7 4 9 2 4 5 9 6 5 2 5 4 6 4 1 4 1 3 2 7 5 3 9 9 3 Medium Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku First-time Exam, Bite-wing X-rays, Cleaning New patients only. Limitations and exclusions may apply. Not valid with any other offers. Salt Lake 2150 S. Main St 104 801-883-9177 Bountiful 425 S. Medical Dr 211 801-397-5220 www.alpenglowdentists.com To schedule an appointment, please call 801.878.1700 Evening and Saturday Appointments Available Most Insurances Accepted Dr Josef Benzon, DDS JOIN US You know you want to sing with the Salt Lake Men’s Choir Join us Thursday nights starting Jan. 12. Show up at 6:45pm at First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E. Give us a try. We are a non-auditioned choir. More info at SaltLakeMensChoir.org B ARBER AND B ODY G ROOMING GEORGE MICHAEL DUVEN 1140 E B RICKYARD R D #33 STE 108 BY APPT G OD S HAVE T HE Q UEEN.CO 801-330-5055
Q doku

Kit Connor stirs up a little ‘Tea and Tomorrow’

“Heartstopper” star Kit Connor is about to play audience heartstrings as the co-lead in the film adaptation of Laura Taylor Namey’s YA novel, “A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow.” The sweet romantic dram-com follows a young woman named Lila (Maia Reficco, “Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin”) from the U.S. to the U.K. for a summer. It’s there she meets a young teashop clerk named Orion (Connor) who’s determined to show her the best of his country and, well, you can guess the rest. (There’s also been a bit of internet gossip about the bisexual Connor possibly being romantically involved with his costar, but so far nothing confirmed — it’ll be our business when they invite us to dinner, right?) The sure-to-be-swoony movie is currently in production, so “Heartstopper” fans will have to wait a while for this one and just re-binge season two again.

When a gay director takes over ‘Scream 7’

Let there be no confusion regarding this point: “Scream” has always been queer to its core. Created by a gay writer, the great Kevin Williamson, and guided by his ideas for the first several films of the franchise, it has been steeped in queerness that’s ambient, very open to alternate readings, and eventually populated with forthrightly queer characters. (If you haven’t yet watched the Emmy-nominated Shudder documentary, “Queer for Fear,” do so, and settle in.) But now a gay director will take the helm for the very first time. Christopher Landon, the filmmaker behind the left-field hits “Happy Death Day” and “Freaky,” among many others, is handling the seventh installment (no cast announced yet, there’s a strike on) and it’s safe to say that his own queer imprint will be felt. More on this one as it develops. Ghostface pride!

No, the other ‘Pet Shop Boys’

Due to premiere at the Venice Film Festival is “Pet Shop Boys,” the debut feature from Olmo Schnabel. If that last name sounds familiar, he’s the son of

filmmaker and artist Julian Schnabel (the Oscar-nominated “At Eternity’s Gate”) and if you think the film’s familiar title is referencing the legendary queer pop group, it’s not. The film stars Dario Yazbek Bernal (“The House of the Flowers”) and Jack Irv (“Giants Being Lonely”), and the plot involves an impulsive young man (Bernal) who begins an affair with pet store employee (Irv), setting in motion a series of escalating troubles. Balancing the relative newcomers are a supporting cast that includes Peter Sarsgaard and Julian Schnabel film vets Willem Dafoe (“At Eternity’s Gate”) and Emmanuelle Seigner (“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”). Young queer lovers on the run? Sign us up, and look for this one to hit U.S. arthouse theaters soon enough.

That Megan Thee Stallion and Bowen Yang movie is called ‘Dicks: The Musical’ now

If you were wondering when the comedy formerly known as “F*cking Identical Twins” was going to drop into your local theater, it’s soon: September 29 to be precise. But the name has changed from the offensive-to-some original to the freshly offensive-to-some-others “Dicks: The Musical.” The revamped title is fully in keeping with the insane trailer that just dropped, following an outrageous “Parent Trap”-style plot where writers/stars Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp (from Comedy Central’s “The Opposition with Jordan Klepper”) play separated-at-birth twins determined to reunite their divorced parents. Co-starring Megan Thee Stallion, Bowen Yang, Nathan Lane, Megan Mullally and a lot of wild musical numbers, this queer-inclusive A24 title is ready to take early fall by storm, ready or not. But we’re ready.

Sondheim’s final musical gets its cast and date

The late, great Stephen Sondheim’s final musical, “Here We Are,” has set an off-Broadway launch date: Sept. 28. Its director is Tony Award winner for both “Take Me Out” and “Assassins,” Joe Mantello, and the book by David Ives (“The Metromaniacs”) is based on legendary filmmaker Luis Buñuel’s “The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie” and

“The Exterminating Angel,” two stories of middle-class people having a collection of increasingly surreal dining troubles. And to do justice to the Sondheim legacy, the cast of theater pros is a roster of Tony, Obie and Drama Desk award nominees and winners: Bobby Cannavale (“The Motherfucker with the Hat”), David Hyde Pierce (“Hello, Dolly!”), Denis O’Hare (“Take Me Out”), Jin Ha (“Hamilton”), Rachel Bay Jones (“Dear Evan Hansen”), Tracie Bennett (“End of the Rainbow”), Francois Battiste (“Epiphany”), Micaela Diamond (“Parade”), Amber Gray (“Hadestown”), Steven Pasquale (“Guys & Dolls”) and Jeremy Shamos (“Clybourne Park”). Get yourself to New York for this historical moment, and don’t go to the theater hungry.

Check out the history-making of George Platt Lynes

In the 1930s and 40s, photographer George Platt Lynes was one of the first people to become known for his commercial and editorial work with celebrities. His photos of the famous made him famous, too. But at the same time, his more private work involved a celebration of the male , and that work was not only to show in public, but aesthetically forward, very much ahead of its time. Now, in the documentary “Hidden Master: The Legacy of George Platt Lynes,” filmmaker Sam Shahid — who previously worked as an art director on the Bruce Weber documentaries “Let’s Get Lost” and “Broken Noses” — showcases this rich body of work from a pioneering gay artist, while also exploring the photographer’s connections to Gertrude Stein, Alfred Kinsey and others. This vital historical work is currently moving around film festivals, so be on the lookout for it to screen or stream near you. Romeo San Vicente supports SAG/AFTRA and the WGA.

on the street Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29 OctO ber 12-15 Q SALT LAKE IS A PROUD MEDIA SPONSOR OF DAMN THESE HEELS QUeer FILM FeStIVAL DOWNtOWN SLc • rOSe WAGN er PerFOrMING ArtS ce Nter YEAR DAMNtHeSeHeeLS.OrG FILMS • PANeLS • Art • SPecIAL GUeStS • cLUbHOUSe • WOrKSHOPS • cOMMUNItY Get DetAILS, tIcKetS, AND PASSeS At DAMN THESE HEELS IS A PROGRAM OF UTAH FILM CENTER

GAY IN THE RING

Pro wrestler Anthony Bowens has major wins for queer visibility under his belt

Queer

people everywhere are experiencing heightened discrimination, but if there’s hope to be found, it might just be in, of all places, the wrestling ring. That’s where Anthony Bowens recently experienced a tremendously heartening show of allyship during Pride Month, when the openly gay Black pro wrestler was showered with support from thousands of wrestling fans.

During an All Elite Wrestling (AEW) Rampage event in June, Bowens responded to QTV on-air personality Harley Cameron, who suggested that Bowens couldn’t resist her if he tried, by telling

her she must have been “kicked in the head too many times by a kangaroo” as a kid. It took her a minute to figure out what he was alluding to — that he’s gay, ladies, and coupled with his boyfriend of seven years, Michael Pavano. Then, a full crowd showed their solidarity with Bowens when they chanted “He’s gay!” Bowens, who came out as bisexual in January 2017 and then later as gay, made history in 2022 when he and Max Caster, a tag team in AEW (a rival of WWE) known as The Acclaimed, won the company’s world tag team championship for the first time. The win made Bowens, 32, the first openly gay wrestler to win an AEW championship. His raw, tearful emotions were captured after their victorious moment on video, when Bowens offered hope to those struggling with who they are: “I never thought I’d be able to have a moment like this. I never thought I’d be able to live my dream because there was a time when I was very confused and I didn’t know how to accept myself,” he said at the time. “And now I cry because I’m a champion.”

During our recent interview, Bowens spoke about being surprised by the recent pro-gay chant, his vastly different experience in the locker room these days and being the example he wished he had as a kid.

When I watch the “He’s gay!” chant, it gives me hope for the queer community and for this next presidential election — maybe there are fewer homophobic people than I think. It looks grim, but at the same time, it’s not. A lot of people have humanity, they’re human beings. They appreciate, respect and love other people. But that segment was something very unexpected because I had never approached it in that way before. My type of activism is, I show up and I am trying to be as visible and successful as possible and to try to lead by example. I’ve always been that way. When I played baseball, I was never the team captain, but I was a team leader. I showed up, I played hard, I contributed, I supported everybody. They supported me. And then I go home. I figure that’s just who I am as a person,

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PHOTO COURTESY AEW

and that’s how I do it every single week on TV. I try to represent as best as I can. But I also don’t want to shoehorn anything. I want it to be something fun and something special. And when they presented that to me in this particular scenario, I was like, “Absolutely.” This seems like the perfect time to do it. It was Pride Month. I didn’t know how people were going to react. I thought it would just be like a “cool.” But to have an entire arena chanting at you, “He’s gay,” in a positive way, it was so much fun. It was unexpected. But I think the aftermath of it was the best part because it touched so many different people. I was expecting it to be, excuse my language, a shitshow of just negativity considering what’s been going on in the world. So much positivity, so many messages from other athletes, from just other people in general that looked at that as a moment of hope for them. Something that I really didn’t have when I was in the closet and trying to figure out my sexuality and trying to figure out if I had a space within professional wrestling if I came out. So I am honored that I could do something like that for other people. And hopefully it’s something that will connect with them and they can understand that there are doors and avenues available to them to live your dreams, whatever that may be. What are some of the reactions that you received after the chant? A lot of gratitude and a lot of thank yous. Because no one’s ever said it in a wrestling ring. No one just ever said it. And I found that, now that I think about it, kind of strange. I don’t know if it’s out of fear of what the reaction would be or if they just didn’t want to cross that bridge, but it’s like, “This is who I am.” Everybody can be themselves in any other way possible every single week, so why can’t I, and why can’t everybody else? So now that we’ve crossed that bridge, hopefully there’s a lot more doors open for a lot more LGBTQ athletes in professional wrestling. We’re in a lot better place than where we were when I first started, because there’s a ton of open LGBTQ wrestlers out there. Some on television, a lot of thriving [ones] on the independents. So hopefully we continue to grow and get more in, because there are a lot

more in other sports and entertainment. Some wrestlers, like Nyla Rose, the first openly trans woman to sign with a major pro wrestling company, have been met with some vitriol. Wrestler Rick Steiner, for instance, went on a transphobic rant and was banned from WrestleCon. It seems you’re having a different, more positive experience, but as somebody who’s part of the community you must also be aware that not everyone’s having that same experience. Absolutely. I always say that I am lucky in the sense that I could navigate a lot of parts of life without worry, because sometimes people don’t know, and other people don’t have that privilege. If I give a piece of advice to somebody who may not be living in an area where being LGBTQ+ is welcome, that advice could potentially harm them. And I don’t want to put anybody in that kind of position. So it gets to be very hard.

I can’t speak to Nyla, I don’t know what her experience is, but I do know that there are always horrible people out there. And I’m not clear from hate either, because two years ago in Long Island somebody was yelling out, calling me the F-word. I didn’t hear it in the ring, but it came out over the broadcast and it caused a bit of a hoopla. But he got reprimanded, and I believe he was escorted out. A lot of people now are policing that when they hear stuff like that. There’s plenty of independent shows where somebody’s yelled out something homophobic, and fans are just like, “Get out. You’re not welcome here.” Did you ever expect your “Scissor me, daddy ass” catchphrase would become the phenomenon that it has? No. It’s something that I said on a whim live on television. I just thought of it five minutes before I said it, and the next thing you know it just exploded. And I cannot believe the amount of scissors that people create themselves. They spend all night creating custom scissors to bring to the arenas, and we got the foam finger. It’s crazy. What’s your earliest memory of how you felt watching wrestling? It was about the pageantry and the aura that it had around it. It’s a different kind of energy and a different kind of vibe than any other form of entertainment. You have a live audience and you’ve got physicality,

you have athleticism, you got millions of people watching you at home. You’ve got different characters, you’ve got storytelling. I loved everything about it. And did I know I was going to be a wrestler one day? No. Did I think it was possible? Also no, because I didn’t know how. I just knew that I loved it, and it’s just a very unique form of entertainment. When I started questioning my sexuality, there wasn’t much to relate to in terms of what I was watching. Did anyone help you feel that you could be a wrestler? Really no one. Darren Young came out I believe in 2013, and I had just started wrestling then. Other than Darren, there wasn’t anybody really, because a lot of times, anything that was remotely LGBTQ was used as comedic fodder. So there wasn’t really much, which is all the reason why ... that’s what kept me in the closet a lot longer. It drove me even more to be successful because I would like to be that example. And I’m fortunate enough to do that every single week now. The community needs somebody to look toward in this particular space. Knowing your struggle, what did it mean to you when you became the first gay champion in AEW history? It’s mind-blowing. It was one of the best nights of my life, to be honest with you. The one thing that stood out after I won was, throughout all the confetti and all the people cheering, I was able to look up and somehow saw my dad cheering me on. It was a great night, and it meant a lot to me, and it meant a lot to a lot of people. And I still have a ton more goals that I’d like to achieve because there’s never been a gay world champion, and hopefully one day. Max and I are doing a lot of cool things together as The Acclaimed; maybe we’ll be a tag team forever, maybe there might be a time where we split off. I have no idea. But if that does ever happen, that’s what I’m gunning for. What does it mean to you to know that a younger LGBTQ+ generation is looking to you as an open door? How do you process that? It means a lot because I may not have went through what other people have gone through, but what I went through was shitty. A lot of mental anguish, a lot of feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoul-

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ders. A lot of stress. A lot of fear, a lot of anxiety. I just wish I could go back and tell younger Bowens that everything will be OK. All I could do was cry. I didn’t know what my future would be like. I’d pulled into my garage and I just sat in the car for 30 minutes and just wept. I felt like it was hopeless.

How old were you? I was in college, probably about 18, 19 years old, maybe 20. I had a great support system around me, my friends and my family, but none of them can truly relate to what I was going through, none of them are LGBTQ. So it was a very, very rough time. But again, I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that. And also I hope that I could help people not feel that way. So hopefully this journey continues to connect and reach people across the world so they can feel a little less hopeless than I felt.

As a closeted gay kid, the locker room in school was one of the scariest places for me. For you, what is it like sharing a locker room with other wrestlers and being open about your sexuality? I’ve had zero issues. I think that was one of the things that impressed me most about All Elite Wrestling before I signed — how inclusive the locker room was. We had [trans and genderfluid wrestler] Sunny Kiss there and Nyla Rose that were already contracted before I arrived. And it impressed me so much how much they walked around judgment-free, and they were just themselves. They weren’t

altering their personalities at all to fit in. They were just themselves. And I thought, “Wow, this is cool.” So I’ve never had an issue with anybody on the roster. I feel very comfortable. I was very comfortable talking about my personal life. I could talk about my boyfriend and about past experiences, and everyone welcomes it. And I don’t feel out of place at all. In the past, maybe when I first started wrestling in the independents 10 years ago, the locker room talk was very different [and it] would make me feel uncomfortable to even bring anything up. You mentioned your boyfriend, Michael, who joins you on a YouTube channel called “Michael & Anthony,” where you parody a lot of trash TV together. How did that start, and what is it like to work with your boyfriend? The YouTube channel was actually kind of the catalyst to helping me come out in the first place. We made a little video back in 2016 that went viral and it helped grow the YouTube channel. We would do couples vlogs for a while. We just couldn’t figure out what our niche was content-wise. And then the pandemic hit, and we were watching a

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PHOTO: JOSHUA SHELTON

show called “Love Is Blind.”

Michael’s very good at impressions, and he was making fun of one of the people on the show, and he was like, “Why don’t we make a parody of this and put it on YouTube?” And I was like, “That sounds fun. We have nothing else better to do, we’re stuck indoors.” So we put that up and it got a million views. So we thought, “Huh, well this is maybe something that we should go to.”

We’ve kind of backed off it a little bit. We’re in here in Los Angeles, and he’s really starting to get his acting career jump started. So he is really focused on that. And I’ve been traveling ridiculously. We just bought a home together. Now that you’ve broken major ground with your career, what would you like to see as the next frontier in wrestling when it comes to visibility for

queer people? I think more representation in general in sports, because I think that would be the best thing for moving things forward. Because everyone, they love sports, they love soccer, they love football. It’s such a massive thing. And if we had a lot more out successful athletes that are just proud of being themselves, and we can normalize this experience as opposed to it being this whole big ordeal of coming out and then, “Well, can they adjust?” Of course they can adjust. We’re great athletes; we just happen to be gay or bi or whatever. It doesn’t matter. Q

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity. Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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Just how gay is ‘Barbie?’

It depends who you ask.

The hit movie is at least queer enough to piss off conservatives

Let’sface it: “Barbie” was going to be gay. Maybe not gay enough, according to some gays. Maybe too gay, according to anti-gays.

The fact is, this is a movie about Barbie, and wherever Barbie goes, some inherent queerness will go, too. As a kid, I remember wanting to be Barbie’s best gay friend — I imagined we’d have some pretty fun sleepovers in her Dreamhouse. I also imagined some pretty fun sleepovers with Ken.

So now that “Barbie” is a splashy, pink-soaked blockbuster, director Greta Gerwig serves up a feminist fantasia in which a diverse group of Barbies, including several played by LGBTQ+ actors, reclaim their world from their Ken-ruling counterparts. As a gay boy led into gay adulthood by strong women, I am on board with all that girl power in Gerwig’s “Barbie.”

I also appreciate that the film, starring Margot Robbie as the leading Barbie and Ryan Gosling as the leading Ken, is full of queer subtext that has sent right-wingers into a anti-queer meltdown because, god forbid, dolls should be for everyone. Fox News reported that a Christian news site “warns” that the film ‘“forgets core audience’ in favor of trans agenda and gender themes.”

Let them have their bigoted feelings while the rest of us admire “Barbie” for what it is: a coming-of-age film that lets underdogs come out on top. Here are five of the queerest things to love about “Barbie.”

1. LGBTQ+ actors play the dolls

Queers actors are among those portraying the Barbies and Kens in Gerwig’s Barbie Land. I’d say that’s remarkable, but that kind of casting, where queer people are just in the mix of onscreen talent, should be the norm in all films. In “Barbie,” it is, however, especially meaningful seeing the iconic but historically heteronormative dolls portrayed by openly queer actors (to be fair, no characters are straight or gay since dolls, according to Robbie, don’t have sexual orientation because they all just have plastic nubs down there). Scott Evans, who is Chris Evans’ gay brother, is a Ken, while queer “Love, Simon” actress Alexandra Shipp plays a Barbie. Trans actor Hari Nef also plays a Barbie, and Kate McKinnon is “Weird Barbie,” who emanates some real lesbian vibes (McKinnon herself is openly lesbian) particularly when she offers Robbie’s Barbie some more practical, everyday footwear — those being Birkenstocks.

2. Ken’s queer energy

It would be a shame to feature Ken as prominently as this film does without at least winking at the queer boys, such

as myself, who loved him. Thankfully, this fact is realized in Gerwig’s “Barbie,” which suggests that Ken is both an object of desire for men, including other Kens, and that he may even be chasing Barbie for reasons that aren’t exactly amorous in nature. Maybe Ken needs Barbie like Jack needs Karen?

The Kens in this movie, after all, are confused about who they should be, spending so much time proving their masculinity because they are convinced that is how they should act. That societal pressure alone is a familiar stress to any gay man, but “Barbie” does loosely put Ken somewhere on the spectrum of queerness, whether that be a quick cameo from Magic Earring Ken, modeled on gay fashion and also known as “Cock Ring Ken,” or by showing Evans riding a horse stick in a way that doesn’t exactly register as totally straight. Meanwhile, Gosling’s Ken gets kissed on the cheek by two other Kens, including Evans, during a homoerotic ballet sequence that includes the lyric “put that manly hand in mine.” He does not seem to mind.

3. Gender-neutral bathrooms

One of the most obvious displays of queer inclusivity in “Barbie” involves just a few words spoken by Will Ferrell: “gender-neutral bathrooms.” I nearly applauded when Ferrell, beloved for potty-humor comedies that surely attracts those who have issues with transgender

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people using whatever bathroom they want, was running down the list of what you’d find at the Mattel headquarters. At Mattel, people pick whatever bathroom best suits them. For one of the biggest films of the year to be given the stamp of approval from a giant corporation that makes products for children, some of the same kids these anti-trans bathroom bills affect, that’s a small victory.

4. The Indigo Girls

When I first saw the trailer for “Barbie,” I couldn’t help but feel a sense of vindication for the Indigo Girls, whose work is often referred to in mainstream culture as “lesbian music” for the mere fact that duo Emily Saliers and Amy Ray are lesbians. Suddenly, here was Barbie, a beloved commercial figure, flipping the script on that stereotypical notion, driving her pink Corvette and belting out “Closer to Fine” as she leaves Barbie Land for the real world.

“You don’t imagine a folk lesbian duo to be in this hot-pink Barbie movie,” Tig

Notaro told Trish Bendix at The New York Times. “Kind of just selfishly and personally, I feel like, ‘Yeah, we were onto something all these years,’ you know? It’s validating. Obviously it’s been a huge hit forever, but this is so next level.” Perhaps as a way to emphasize this union of commercial and queer culture, openly gay Grammy winner Brandi Carlie and her wife Catherine cover the song on the soundtrack’s expanded edition.

5. Allan

Always an Allan, never a Ken. If Ken was the object of so many queer boys’ affection, Allan was the doll many of us could relate to — when we weren’t daydreaming about being Barbie, that is. Allan, portrayed by Michael Cera, is the doll version of me at 13 years old, avoiding all the Kens at the bus stop while I exclusively shuffled between women artists on my Walkman. In “Barbie,” Cera’s Allan, who wears a crocheted button-down with colors that resemble a rainbow and whose body isn’t tan and chiseled like the Kens, is right at home with the Barbies himself, not so much the Kens and all of their abs and swaggering machismo. For those reasons alone, Allan is the outsider in all of us. Q

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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Brandon Scott Jones just wants to help young queers feel seen

Thisyear, Brandon Scott Jones is showing up in the most random of places. There’s his series regular role in “Ghosts,” portraying the spirit of American Revolutionary officer Captain Isaac Higgintoot, who is gay. There’s his part as Drew’s BFF Curtis on “The Other Two,” HBO’s abundantly queer absurdist comedy, which just announced that its latest, third season would be its last. And earlier this year, he could be seen on the big screen alongside Nicolas Cage’s Dracula in the horror-comedy “Renfield,” now streaming on Peacock.

The Maryland-born actor, who has also appeared in “Isn’t It Romantic,” “The Good Place” and “Can You Ever Forgive Me?,” recently chatted about the niche queerness of “The Other Two,” finding comfort in LGBTQ+ media in his youth and how he hopes that his latest projects are doing the same for others.

“The Other Two” really is so perfectly stupid and yet so moving at the same time. Let’s make that the tagline. Wild how they strike that tone. It’s cool.

It’s not an easy thing to pull off, but this show does. When was the moment you knew you could make a career out of being funny?

This isn’t going to sound funny, but I remember I was on a family vacation and my mom, dad, sister and I were driving through deep Georgia on our way to Florida, and it started to torrentially downpour, and my mom started screaming at my dad to pull off the road, and my dad kept gripping the steering wheel, screaming that he couldn’t see. He’s like, “I can’t see!” And I remember thinking to myself and turning to my sister and we’re like, “We’re going to die.” And thinking to myself, “This is terrifying,” but very funny to see my parents do this in front of their children.

I can see this as a sketch on a comedy series. I can 100%. Literally, there’s no chill in the back, and my sister and I were just sitting there, stone-faced, like, “Oh god.”

I have a memory of being like, “Oh, I want to write about this.” So that was the first time I thought, “Oh, maybe I enjoy comedy.” I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve gotten to work with people in

my past doing lots of comedy that have brought me in to do other projects that maybe more people were able to see, and then also just trying your hardest to put yourself out there. And I remember the first time I put my comedy writing live on stage, and to see the reaction to that, then the reaction on the business side to that, was really, really encouraging. When you got the script for this season of “The Other Two,” what was the scene you couldn’t wait to shoot? Oh, god, there’s a couple. One, I think you get to see some different levels of Curtis where he’s sort of been very silly in a lot of fun ways and a good friend. We got a little taste of his good friendship with Cary last season, but this year we had two separate moments that Drew [Tarver, who plays Cary] and I both called “the hard scenes,” and we called them the hard scenes because they’re definitely a little bit more emotional for the two of us. I think in addition to all the comedy that we get to play, there’s a scene or two toward the end of the season that we were both excited to really sink our teeth into.

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“The Other Two” really does know queer culture inside and out. What’s it like to be able to go so deep into niche LGBTQ+ culture within this show? It’s really fun. It is a very queer focused, queer-forward show in a lot of ways. I mean, for example, last season when Cary had this hole pic come out. I think the idea of taking a picture of your hole to send someone and then accidentally blasting it to the world is a thing that starts out as something very relatable, but is also probably a fear we all have, a little bit.

I think trying to stay involved [and in] that world and understanding also the lens through which we look at it — which is sometimes through the entertainment industry — I know me and Drew, as queer actors, you get to see all of these little nuances of [how] people want you to be a certain way, they want you to act a certain way, and that usually corresponds with pop culture. While doing this interview, it’s hard not to think about the first episode of this current season — navigating the promo of a TV show. That must seem very meta to you right now. Who’s the person on your shoulder as you go through this today? It is funny to be doing interviews or hosting things on TV and also then doing them in real life. There is that meta element to it. It’s almost… I’m the person on my shoulder; it’s still this constant back and forth that I have with myself of, “Am I being enough of the person that I want to be? Am I not being enough of the representation?” And you kind of feel the weight of it a little bit, not to add self-importance or self-indulgence, or some sort of ego to it, but I think there’s people that have inspired me and there’s so many different people that you want to be like, and I think you just wonder if you’re falling short sometimes.

Can we get a spinoff of the “Gay Minute,” your show within a show this season? Do you want a full half hour of “The Gay Minute”? I would totally do it. Just a sad, real-time show of this person trying to film it.

As someone who’s aware of the representation you bring to the TV and films you’re in, what media helped you feel seen? When I was younger, I really loved “Will and

Grace,” and I didn’t know, necessarily, a world outside of that. It was really fun to see those characters come up, but then a lot of the stuff that I really, really identified with, I didn’t even recognize to be queer culture. I was a big Madeline Kahn fan. I was a big Rosalind Russell fan. I would watch these madcap heightened movies — “Clue” or “Bringing Up Baby.” And all of these things that I now recognize as an adult, it’s like, “Oh, wait, I wasn’t alone in liking those things.” Do you remember “Me and My Shadows,” the Judy Garland TV movie? Yeah. You thought you were the only person who saw it? I thought I was the only person who sat there and saw it. It was a two-night event, and I did not miss either night. It’s this thing that, as you get older, you find other people that also did that, and you’re like, “Oh, all of this.” I sank myself into these things, and I was doing it for a reason, even if I didn’t fully know what it was. And it becomes so personal. Looking at your career as a whole, when did you understand that the roles you choose are important and they matter? I don’t know if there’s ever been one point, but I know that it’s been really nice between this show and “Ghosts” to see the fan reaction on Twitter of people either recognizing queer moments or, on “Ghosts,” I have a coming out [arc], which it’s been very nice to see the reaction to that. So I don’t necessarily know if I personally have that following, but I know that you still want to put out the authentic version of yourself for that person that might find you and might identify with who you are.

I think that my experience of coming out, and as I was growing up and getting older, it can be lonely, and I used to sink myself into film and television to quell that, and so you hope that whatever performance you’re giving, whatever interview you’re doing, there’s an authenticity there and that you’re bringing that experience to hopefully help others as well. Q

Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE

• Talking about wanting to die

• Looking for a way to kill oneself

• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose

• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain

• Talking about being a burden to others

• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

• Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly

• Sleeping too little or too much

• Withdrawing or feeling isolated

• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

• Displaying extreme mood swings

The more of these signs a person shows, the greater the risk. Warning signs are associated with suicide but may not be what causes a suicide.

WHAT TO DO

If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide:

• Do not leave the person alone

• Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt

• Call the U.S National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 9-8-8 or 800-273-8255

• Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional

THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE 9-8-8

A free, 24/7 service that can provide suicidal persons or those around them with support, information and local resources.

september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
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‘Leg: The Story of a Limb and the Boy Who Grew From It’

Hop, hop.

You’ve known how to do that for so long that you probably don’t even remember when you learned it. Or was it instinctive? If you were like most kids, your childhood was filled with jumps and hops, bouncing and skipping and climbing, but as in the new book “Leg” by Greg Marshall, many kids have hurdles to leap.

From the moment he was born, Salt Lake City native Greg Marshall was endowed with two things: a right leg with “tight tendons” that twisted his foot on that side;

q scopes SEPTEMBER

ARIES March 20–April 19

Sometimes it’s a good idea to get away. A vacation would be nice, or a break from the hectic work life. While this may be anything but feasible, it’s more about a state of mind. Compose your thoughts and mind your feelings.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Try doing something good for yourself. There is a lot of stress right now, and most of what weighs you down is beyond your own control. Take care of someone you love first, and the rest of the problems might work out..

GEMINI May 21–June 20

There might be a good deal of excitement over the upcoming holidays, but don’t forget to enjoy the current season. There is still a lot of summer fun to be had

and certain oversized intimate body parts that his mother was just too eager to mention.

The latter was an eye-rolling embarrassment.

The former was never really a big deal to Marshall. Other than wearing out a lot of sneakers, he walked with a limp, so what?

He was never bullied much about it, though his siblings teased him in a way that siblings will. He never let it stop him from playing tennis or exploring his Salt Lake City neighborhood. He traveled, appeared in local theater, ran for class president, and had an otherwise normal childhood. Still, his leg was something people noticed.

He hoped no one would notice he was gay, but they must’ve: nobody seemed surprised when he came out as a teen.

By then, Marshall’s mother had been fighting non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma for years with surgeries and various

before the temperature drops. Embrace some hot times a little longer..

CANCER June 21–July 22

Nothing is going to stop you from getting stuff done if you don’t lose track. There might be many people and tasks to attend to, so make a list and find a balance between naughty and nice. Work, then play as much as you want!.

LEO July 23–August 22

Even in the worst of times, you know how to be your best. Keep your spirits up by taking some reflective moments and seeing past what’s getting you down. Focus on the bright side and get a handle on a slippery situation immediately..

VIRGO August 23–Sep 2

There are few ideas that get you more excited than a road trip! Whether you’re ready to get going or you want to plan one out, keep the thrills alive by doing some major planning. You never know where life will take you.

chemotherapies that left her wrung-out and scarred. She was in the midst of another battle when Marshall’s father was diagnosed with ALS, a disease that affected his muscles and progressed quickly. As the elder Marshall slipped away — the timing of which he decided himself — the family rallied around him, teasing, deflecting, and grieving.

Marshall was in his twenties when that happened, and it highlighted his shaky, barely-controlled penchant for hypochondria that he’d had for some time. He worried about his “tight tendons” and cerebral palsy, a diagnosis he’d recently discovered. He fretted about getting AIDS. Most of all, he wondered if he’d ever find someone to love him…

Hoo boy, “Leg” is the kind of book that makes you hyperventilate. On many, very many pages, there’s boisterous, Saturday-morning-cartoon-like, going-in-five-different-directions chaos that

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

It’s going to be an interesting month if you know where to find the action. Spend time with friends and family and make some memories. The bedroom might be the place for some action, so don’t be afraid to spread your wings.

SCORPIO Oct 23–Nov 21

The rekindling of old relationships is making you feel young again. Even if the past is flawed, the present is seemingly perfect. Hold on to good vibes by getting into the social scene. Once you do, there’s no stopping the fun.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 22–December 20

Tried and true to a fault, you might not be ready for something frivolous to get in your way. Rest assured there is a problem but nothing that is worth all the heartache. Eliminate bad thoughts and focus on the desired harmony.

might be sibling-based, it might be parental, deeply personal, humorous, relational, or sexual — and on that note, hoo boy, there are some wildly messy and explicit pages to find here. Author Greg Marshall writes candidly about his sex life, doors wide open, sometimes literally.

Ah, but he also writes about the kind of love that’s wrapped in a scrap of fleece and handled carefully, the kind that feels like it might blow away if you’re not careful. That’s a delicate thing in the midst of a madcap tale of a limb and the gay man attached to it, and it’s sneaky, too: you’ll be looking every-which-way at Marshall’s life, and boom! Tears.

Give yourself some time with this book, and breathe deep. Most readers will find it chaotic but thoroughly enjoyable for a beach read, airport, or a staycation. Don’t skip “Leg,” or you’ll kick yourself. Q

CAPRICORN

Dec 21–Jan 19

Places to go and people to see, yet home is where you want to be. Don’t take trips you don’t want to take, but instead work on projects and create memories. There will be plenty of time to get out, so enjoy staying in for a bit.

AQUARIUS Jan 20–Feb 18

Things are going to be wild and free, but only if you want it. Expectations are high right now but don’t let that get in the way of simple pleasures. Even if you need to adjust your scope, the path to freedom will become very clear.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

With the changing season comes another chance to grow. Don’t worry if things are getting crazy, for sanity is only one thought away. Spread a message of love and unity to those who need to hear it. Follow your heart to clarity.

september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39 the
bookworm sez

Q mmunity groups

BUSINESS

LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapists Guild

 lgbtqtherapists.com

* jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce

 utahlgbtqchamber.com

* info@utahgaychamber.com

Utah Independent Business Coalition

 utahindependentbusiness.org

801-879-4928

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-7233

YWCA of Salt Lake

 ywca.org/saltlakecity

322 E 300 S 801-537-8600

HEALTH & HIV

Planned Parenthood

 bit.ly/ppauslchiv

654 S 900 E 801-322-5571

Salt Lake County Health

Dept HIV/STD Clinic

610 S 200 E, 2nd Floor

Walk-ins M–F 8a–5p Appts 385-468-4242

UAF Legacy Health

 utahaids.org

150 S 1000 E

801-487-2323

Weber-Morgan Health

Mon., Weds 1-4:30p

477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth

Resource Ctr, ages 15–21

880 S 400 W 801-364-0744

LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic

2nd Weds 6–7:30pm

Utah Pride Ctr

probono@law.utah.edu

POLITICAL Equality Utah

 equalityutah.org

* info@equalityutah.org

376 E 400 S

801-355-3479

Utah Libertarian Party

129 E 13800 S #B2-364 libertarianutah.org

866-511-UTLP

Utah Stonewall Democrats

 utahstonewalldemocrats.org

 fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church

 firstbaptist-slc.org

11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921

Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church

10:30a Sunday worship

175 S 700 E 801-328-0521

 mttaborslc.org

Sacred Light of Christ

 slcchurch.org

823 S 600 E 801-595-0052

11a Sundays

SOCIAL

Alternative Garden Club

 utahagc.org/clubs/ altgardenclub/

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)

 facebook.com/ groups/1to5clubutah

blackBOARD

Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.

 blackbootsslc.org

blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM

Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.

 blackbootsslc.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian Sisters)

 bit.ly/owlsutah

qVinum Wine Tasting

 qvinum.com

Seniors Out and Proud

 fb.me/soaputah

* info@soaputah.org

801-856-4255

Temple Squares Square Dance Club

 templesquares.org

801-449-1293

Utah Bears

 utahbears.com

 fb.me/utahbears

* info@utahbears.com

6p Weds SL Coffee

Break, 430 E 400 S

Utah Male Naturists

 umen.org

 fb.me/utahmalenaturists

* info@umen.org

Utah Pride Center

 utahpridecenter.org

* info@utahpridecenter.org

1380 S Main St

801-539-8800

Venture OUT Utah

 bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah

SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah

Aquatic Club

 quacquac.org

* questions@ quacquac.org

Salt Lake Goodtime

Bowling League

 bit.ly/slgoodtime

Stonewall Sports SLC

 fb.me/SLCStonewall

 stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com

385-243-1828

Utah Gay Football League

 fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague

Venture Out Utah

 facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah

SUPPORT

Alcoholics Anonymous

801-484-7871

 utahaa.org

LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, All Saints Episcopal Church, 1710 Foothill Dr

Tues. 7p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor

Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 1159 30th St , Ogden

Wed. 7p Bountiful

Men’s Group, Am. Baptist Btfl Church, 1915 Orchard Dr, Btfl

Fri. 7p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor

Lutheran, 175 S 700 E

Crystal Meth Anon

 crystalmeth.org

USARA, 180 E 2100 S

Clean, Sober & Proud

Sun. 1:30pm

Leather Fetish & Kink

Fri. 8:30pm

Genderbands

 genderbands.org

fb.me/genderbands

LifeRing Secular Recovery

801-608-8146

 liferingutah.org

Weds. 7pm, How was your week? First Baptist Church, 777

S 1300 E

Sat. 11am, How was your week? First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E

LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapists Guild

 lgbtqtherapists.com

* robin@lgbtqtherapists.com

YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr

 encircletogether.org

fb.me/encircletogether

91 W 200 S, Provo, 190 S 100 E, St. George 331 S 600 E, SLC

Gay-Straight Alliance Network

 gsanetwork.org

OUT Foundation BYU

 theout.foundation

 fb.me/theOUTfoundation

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+

 slcc.edu/lgbtq/

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center

 lgbt.utah.edu

200 S Central Campus

Dr Rm 409, M-F, 8a-5p 801-587-7973

USGA at BYU

 usgabyu.com

 fb.me/UsgaAtByu

Utah State Univ. Inclusion Ctr

 usu.edu/inclusion/

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum

 linktr.ee/spectrumqsa

 uvu.edu/lgbtq/

* lgbt@uvu.edu

801-863-8885

Liberal Arts, Rm 126

Weber State University

LGBT Resource Center

 weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter

Shepherd Union Suite 323 Dept. 2117

801-626-7271

Westminster Student Diversity Center

Bassis 105, M-F 8a-5p

 bit.ly/westdiversity

JOIN OUR GROUP OF ACTIVE OUT SENIORS

Our Vision is to reduce social isolation and loneliness, improve the health and well-being of older adults and to empower them to lead meaningful and connected lives in which they are engaged and participating in the community.

Our Mission is to reimagine aging by empowering older adults to live life to the fullest potential guided by these five pillars:

• Cherish the Journey

• Encourage the Body

Recent events: Snowshoeing, Bingo, Valentines Pot Luck & Dance, Movie Night, Walking Groups, Theater groups

• Inspire the Mind

• Nurture the Spirit

• Empower the Future

Find us at SeniorsOutAndProudUtah.org and Facebook.com/SOAPUtah

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Utah Pride Center

Weekly drop-ins and activity nights held at the Utah Pride Center, 1380 S Main St. Some require registration at utahpridecenter.org/ programs/

ADULT & SENIOR

Silver Pride Senior (50+) Mon 2–4 pm, in-person.

Neurodivergent

Support & Social Club, Mon 6–7 pm, Inperson & virtual Bi+Pan Support & Social Club, Mon 6:30–7:30 pm, Inperson & virtual registration req’d Trivia Night (21+ Mon 7:30–9 pm, in-person (no more than 6/team).

Health Insurance

Help From Take Care Utah, Tue 3–5 pm, inperson, 18+.

Gay Men’s Peer Support Group, Tue 6:30–8 pm, in-person, 18+ * billblevins@ hotmail.com

Pride in Recovery, 18+ Tue 7–8 pm, in-person

Gay Men’s Sack Lunch, Wed, Noon–1 pm, in-person, any gay male-identifying humans 18+.

Women’s Support Group, Wed, 6–7 pm, in-person & virtual, registration req’d

LezBee Honest Support & Social Club, Wed, 7–8 pm, In-person & virtual, registration req’d

Trans/Nonbinary Support Group, Thurs 6–7:30 pm, In-person & virtual, registration req’d

Queer People Of Color Support & Social Club, Thurs, 6:30–7:30 pm, In-person & virtual, registration req’d

Parents & Caregivers

Support Group, Thurs 6:30–7:30 pm, In-person & virtual, registration req’d Game Night, 18+ Fri 5:30–9 pm, in-person, Families Like Ours, Sun 3:30–5:30pm, inperson

YOUTH & FAMILY

PROGAMS

Youth 10–13 Support Group, Tue 5–6pm pm, registration req’d Youth 10–13 Activity Night, Thu 5–6 pm, registration req’d Youth 10–13 Free Time Hours, Tue/Thu 3–8 pm, reg. req’d Teens 14–17 Support Group, Mon 5–6 pm, registration req’d Teens 14–17 Activity Night Wed 5–6 pm, registration req’d Teen 14–17 Free Time Hours, Mon/Wed 3–8 pm, registration req’d

september, 2023 | issue 351 | Qsaltlake.com QMMUNITY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41
marketplace Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE BARBER B ARBER AND B ODY G ROOMING GEORGE MICHAEL DUVEN 1140 E B RICKYARD R D #33 STE 108 BY APPT G OD S HAVE T HE Q UEEN.CO 801-330-5055 COUNSELORS Embracing the health & resilience of our community COUNSELORS COUNSELING ADVANCED awareness advancedawarenesscounseling.com 9140 S State St Ste 202 408-375-3311 Proudly gender affirming and supporting HAIR SALON hair 801- 688-3118 HOUSE & PET SITTING Pet & House Sitting Melinda Nevarez 801.407. 9477 minijbird@gmail.com www.booj-whaa.com HOUSE CLEANING HOUSE CLEANING Molly Mears, MD 801-294-9999 enlightenlaser .com 1560 S Renaissance Town Dr Bountiful, Utah Botox • Coolsculpting® Laser Hair Removal MASSAGE
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the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of a flight of fancy

Theroad to Washington, DC, is fraught with danger and excitement.

Last month, while I was watching a 4th of July fireworks show, my breasticles were filled to overflowing with patriotism and love for this great country. So, I decided that I needed to go to Washington, DC, and hobnob with the founding fathers.

I was excited because this would be my first time going to the new Salt Lake City Airport. However, since I have difficulty walking very far, I was very apprehensive about my journey after hearing many horror stories of walking the very long distances through the airport. I pictured being on the forced Batan Death March. But since we are in Utah, and I’m descended from Mormon Pioneers who crossed the plains with hand carts, I envisioned myself trudging through the never-ending concourse pushing my very sizable luggage while singing, “Pioneer drag queens sang as they walked and walked and walked…” and then, when I could go no further, I lay down beside the moving sidewalk, and die with arms outstretched towards the Burger King outlet, with a couple of well-meaning returning missionaries attempting to revive me by feeding me a french fry. Just as I learned in drag queen finishing school, if you’re going to perish, any queen of good quality and breeding may as well go out with DRAMA!

Despite my fears, I was extremely pleased to learn that if you tell the airline you need assistance, a strapping young man will come and give you a ride in a wheelchair thru the never-ending concourse to your departure gate. A very cute, buff young man in a snug-fitting uniform approached me and asked ever so politely, “May I push you in your chair?” Now, I may have been blinded by his beauty and not able to hear him clearly, or perhaps I was distracted by my imagination running wild, but what I heard was, “May I push in your stool?” Well, what self-respecting queen could ever reject an approach like that? As he pushed me along, I felt like

Cleopatra being carried into Rome. Thank goodness I chose to wear opera-length gloves, so I could wave in proper queenly style to the other less fortunate travelers trudging along. And the best part is that when you’re in a wheelchair, they let you board the airplane first. Woo hoo!

I was sad to bid farewell to my studly chair sherpa. However, my momentary sadness abated as I was welcomed onto the plane by an extremely tall, dark, and handsome flight attendant named Trenton. Of course, my natural reflexes kicked in, and I shamelessly flirted with

my bladder couldn’t hold it for more than two hours. One hour later in the flight, despite my valiant efforts to hold it in, it became apparent that I needed to pee, and no amount of crossing my legs was going to hold back the inevitable.

So, when I was sure that Trenton’s back was turned and he wouldn’t see me, I discreetly made my way to the lavatory, only to discover to my great dismay, that my breasticles were poking out too much to be able to comfortably fit within the confines of the tiny space. After several champion-level gymnastic gyrations and finally pressing my right breasticle up above the sink and my left breasticle down, I was able to squeeze into the space.

All this effort took quite a bit of time, and I was beginning to perspire copiously. Beads of sweat began to drip from my breasticles onto the seat, making it extra slippery. Being a “lady,” I turned to do a sit-down maneuver and immediately slipped off the now sweat-lubricated toilet seat with my knees crashing into the door. I realized that there was a line forming, waiting to use the facility. Well, my pee shyness chose to step into high gear, and I couldn’t start. Eventually, I heard a knock on the door and the voice of Trenton asking if I needed assistance.

the beautiful gentleman. Instantly, I dreamed about him sweeping me away to the airplane restroom and welcoming me into the Mile High Club.

Feeling very pleased with myself, as I took my seat on the plane, I was horrified to discover, to my great shame, that the seat belt could not encompass the vast circumference of my potbellied portliness. Thus, I was forced to shamefully request a seat belt extender from the gorgeous flight attendant, thereby dashing any hopes I had for a “mile-high” encounter.

As the plane reached cruising altitude and people began to move about in the aisle, in order to hide my shame and avoid eye contact with Trenton, I focused my attention on the television screen in my seat. When Trenton came by serving drinks, in a foolish effort to show him that I was not a total glutton, I requested a Diet Coke, thereby demonstrating to him that I was trying to reduce my circumference. Foolishly, I forgot that it was going to be a four-hour flight, and

When it came time to de-plane, Trenton was there by the door, bidding everyone farewell. I rushed past him averting his eyes, lest he acknowledge my shame. This story leaves us with several important questions:

1. If I had died in the airport, would my headstone read, “She died for lack of a Whopper”?

2. Would the spot where I died be included on the register of national historic places?

3. Should I install a secret chamber in my breasticle in which to carry a private seat belt extender, so no one need know I don’t fit?

4. Should I install a catheter in my breasticles for such sweaty events?

5. Should I develop a series of retractable breasticles for “mile-high” opportunities?

6. Should I name them Mini-B’s?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

Qsaltlake.com | issue 351 | september, 2023 44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD
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